Konosuba Goddess Blessing on this Parasite Leech

by Axkalaba

Follow the comical tale of Crim E. Vilan. The wearer of the Chains of Calamity and self-proclaimed goddess deflowerer in his sinful quest to pierce the Heavens.

37. The Feast

The Feast

Part 1

The noon day had went on and began anew. A phantom tied the two horses and walked for the coast. It was a cloudy sky just like they remember the weather in Shallots to be. By his side a girl in booty shorts and a short top, wearing a kerchief over half her facial features and a dagger on her hips. Crim reminisces of the time before they had set off, back when they where still inside the newly named Chivalrous B cave.

Chris: This time we're stealthing a ship. I've located the next relic inside a galleon anchored near the coast of Shallots. But when I asked around, I heard it hadn't come to shore in months.

Crim: Shallots…. That's the place where the miasma was turning everyone into monsters… Don't you think the crew of the ship might just be dead?

Chris: No, I've heard boats have been coming and going out of it ever since. Rumor is that the crew is still suffering from the monstermorphosis and they're trying to quarantine themselves so it doesn't spread again.

Crim: Well that sounds mighty heroic of them, didn't you said this guy was a general involved in some shady business?

Chris: Yeah, a piece of work going by the name Burmese, whom coincidentally begin his retirement right after we solved the miasma incident, and the part where those rumors don't click with me, is that apparently some of his political partners have been seen on the boats going in and out of Burmese ship.

Crim: So, not really trying to quarantine themselves there.

Chris: Right, I'm hoping to find out what is going on inside that place, but our main goal is still to steal the relic.

Crim: And what does this one does exactly?

Chris: The Ring of Assimilation, it allows you to gain a portion of the skills of whatever you eat. Eat dragon meat and boom, dragon wings and stats bonuses until you where to eat some other thing. Though that would be something only the original hero who had it could do, you would have to eat tons of dragon meat to get the same effect as the original user could in a single bite. But there has to be something that Burmese wants to do with it anyways.

Chris picked on her trusty holy dagger in case a demon needs shanking. Crim analyzed what he knew and what gear he wanted to take along.

Crim: (The place this time finds itself in the middle of the water, I won't need the hook as I could easily climb aboard with my bare hands. Any dust, smoke or other substances I'll carry will be rendered useless by sea water if the damp atmosphere doesn't ruins them by itself. The potions vials won't have a problem with me getting wet, but the sleeping needles cork isn't very water friendly, and some seawater might seep inside.)

Crim equipped himself with a straight blade machete, a handful of throwing knives and the dagger Chris had given him.

Crim: (Ultimately, there's no reason why I shouldn't bring a weapon or two. A ship that isn't sailing anywhere and refuses to make land, a general whose retirement happens to coincide with the incident of Shallots. It might not make much sense to the Shallots residents, but I feel something really wrong is going on there.)

Crim grabbed a deck of cards and some coins.

Crim: Before we leave, let's ask Aqua for a water breathing buff.

And so, a day had went and at the coast of Shallots they where. Crim could see the very town rightmost in the distance. Aqua had provided the buffs whiteout question when a wine treat got involved, she was asked to make it last as long as she could and the thieves took to the horses immediately.

Chris: There it is assistant, The Feasting Maiden.

Over by the distance Crim could finally see the galleon where their job would take place. It was big enough to accommodate three masts. One mizzenmast situated on the back, right after the steering wheel, a mainmast in the middle of the ship and one last by the main deck end, which was known as the foremast. All had their sails saved so the winds wouldn't carry the ship away. The three masts came equipped with a pair of shrouds each, the kind the sailors would use to climb up and down to the crow's nest, which was situated high near the top of each mast, where they would sit and watch out for when to cry land ahoy or enemy ships.

Crim: (This is where my love for scale models comes trough. The captain's cabin and the officers should be in the back of the ship by the high sterncastle or poop. The man we're looking for might not particularly stay in the captain's cabin, but the officers quarters shouldn't be too far from if given class of statuses.)

His eyes had set on the decorated sterncastle of the ship, the only place where the goal of their mission could be.

Crim: (Milady might be able to sense where the relic is held, but I have to plan the route there.)

He stuck out the foliage from the beach to get a better look.

Crim: (A ship usually separates in three parts for simplicity. Stern is the back, where the sterncastle is located, holding the captain cabin and the officers quarters. At the middle are the main decks. And by the fore or bow which would be the front, is the forecastle with the crew quarters. The stern is usually elevated to accommodate the sternmost and the hinged rudder below the sterncastle, which would be what the huge wooden fin used to steer the ship is called, and is found on the rear, hence the stern. The elevation of the sterncastle allows to accommodate more inside decks or levels which would be used for the more important passengers and members of the crew, where our target would most likely find itself.)

He set his eyes on the main deck and the gun deck, in order to measure the size of the interior.

Crim: (The main deck is what we call the foot-able exterior of the ship, and right below it goes the gun deck, which is an entire level used to store the bigger cannons, while the smaller artillery is kept right on the main deck. It is necessary for the cannons to be found right below the main deck so the waves can't find their way inside with the cannon ports. Going by the size of said ports and the overall height, I would assume two more decks can be found below the gun deck. Either one for supplies and the other for ammo, or one deck for both and the other level serves an unknown purpose. But given the fact that this is more of a comfort ship than a battle ship, then the lowest of all decks could be the supply and ballast, while the semi-innermost could be a luxury deck.)

Chris: Are you ready for this assistant?

Crim: Yeah, I know the route we'll take. The sterncastle which houses the captain's cabin and officers quarters, that is our goal. No point in visiting the other parts of the ship unless we have to. We'll swim for the stern and find our way in with the closest cannon port around.

Chris: Alright then! I'll activate Enemy Detection as soon as we get there and this will be over in a cinch…. Yes, I'm liking this, today will be our 'first real' stealth job! No more heresy or situations which would get me kicked out of heaven and my goddess birth certificate burn. This is it now assistant, the first time we'll do it right…! Let's go….

Chris pumped her fist together with a hint of disappointment. She was about to get on the beach and start swimming, but then some sinful hands fell on her shoulders.

Crim: And where are you going, dressed like that?

Chris face reddened like a tomato, she didn't need to see behind the steel mask, she knew what scum looks like.

Crim: You looked so desperate for me to say something just now, where you tempting me perhaps…? What was it you wanted, milady?

The sneer so big it shows out the corners of the mask.

Chris: No… nothing….

A sinful hand slid inside her shorts. Chris felt herself stiffen before the fingers even went in, her heartbeats where already rising so fast before, that seeing him play along to her dirty whim, was just too much to take.

Crim: Oh my, what is this moist little goddess I'm feeling here, where you looking forward to this?

The hand stuck out and loosened her shorts. A wind whistle blew as even her panties where pulled down. Chris stood stiff, refusing to look at the mask behind her, and now felt the hands coming for her short top too.

Crim: You knew we weren't ready yet, so where where you going exactly?

A little flame of resistance was born in her, as she kept her hands from rising up so he couldn't pull her top off.

Chris: This… this time there's no need for… no good reason for me to do….

This? The word she wanted to say, but couldn't quite come out of her mouth. And then the hands made a stop on her tiny chest, where they began to dance with her sensitivity.

Crim: Of course there's a need. We haven't gotten ourselves started in our serious mode, yet.

And with that little push, her flame of resistance blew off. Chris felt her top coming off, as the hands caressed trough her armpits on the way up. She removed the kerchief from her mouth, and turned around beet red, glancing at the lips of the man who had also removed his mask.

Crim: Nobody will know.

Chris eyes enthralled on the lips, the dirty lips spouting lip service.

Chris: You made me the joke… of the world… already…

She was having trouble speaking up, her breathing ragged, her desire was mounting, but she couldn't make it so easy for him. She almost wished he would just take over.

Crim: And yet nobody knows is really you. How does that feel?

Infuriatingly ardent, wrong, heretic, a blight upon her perfect façade and a social life ending fear that just doesn't go away, yet so.

Crim: Hot right?

The hands now held her from the lower back, forced her bare body to press on him. There under the cloudy beach they kissed. Their tongues interlocked, and Chris rose a leg, helping her control the anticipation for Crim to invite himself in. They had a job to do here after all, and when their kiss broke.

Crim: Don't forget it, we also need my good luck back, milady.

He contently suggested as he bullied her with his fingers. Like she was in any position to say no.

Chris: I… hate you… so much… (And the way you make me… feel.)

With a plain snap of the fingers, Crim's luck pushes the unreal 192 positive. A privilege reserved only for lady luck favorites.

Part 2

Crim: (We must've spent at least fifteen minutes swimming underwater before we arrived at the galleon at last. I had to use paralysis on four different sharks, and now we where climbing up trough the ship starboard side, which would be the right side of the ship in sailor language. Our goal for now is the stern-most cannon port, from where we could infiltrate the ship.)

Crim climbs The Feasting Maiden with Chris latched onto his neck. Chris had kept enemy detection activated and was watching out for any dots close enough to the edge of the ship where they would see the intruders. Once they arrived at the cannon port they where looking, Crim activated his next skill.

Crim: [Haze Glare]

He had the misty eye slip inside the gaps of the cannon port. Chris had informed him from the presence of four enemies inside the gun deck, and if they where to infiltrate there he would have to find ways to create a distraction.

Crim: (There appears to be four members of the crew on the gun deck. One seeing to maintenance of the weapons and the other three don't seem to have much more to do than stand around, but they will definitely spot us if we went in.)

He focuses closer and found a range of cannon-care equipment, some ballast and few baskets with cutlasses. The problem in and on itself was that he had nothing to work with in the situation.

Crim: (Ship's don't have vigilance rounds, just a bunch of crew members carrying to their job and moving all over the place.) [Trace Step]

It came back with results of twenty one rounds for the gun deck in just the next half an hour.

Crim: (Guard shifts usually serve the purpose of watching over unoccupied or important areas in private property, but a ship in the middle of nowhere doesn't have to keep any inside security. On the other hand, maintenance and navigation has to be everywhere. What I just caught are rounds of maintenance for sure, not guard rounds. Trace Step can be invaluable in any normal house, but it won't be of any use here.)

Vigilance in naval vessels are usually to look out for other ships, not for an infiltration among themselves, nobody would brave the seas whiteout a ship or a boat, and those are whom to watch out for. It was beneficial for the thieves that nobody would be actively guarding the place from intruders, but on the other hand it also added an element of unpredictability which they weren't fond of. Chris whispered from Crim's back.

Chris: I'm starting to lose my strength, hurry up, and is cold like this.

Crim: Whiney junior of a goddess I would know.

Chris: What was that!?

The phantom ignores her.

Crim: (Can't use Trace Step because there's no real guard shifts, and maintenance can be much too unpredictable. Can't use bait because a rat is all I have under this scenario, and they're most likely not going to bother. Can't use lethargy or sleep because it would look suspicious in this scenario, and they don't seem like they're going anywhere any time soon.)

Crim deactivated the Haze Glare and allowed himself to fall back in the water with a splash. One of the crew members from the main deck stuck his head out the edge, but soon returned to his duties assuming it must have been just a dolphin. Afterwards the thieves stuck their heads out by the surface.

Chris: What are you doing assistant? The place we need to go is right there.

Crim: We can't get trough as things stand, but there's another way we could check out.

Crim began to swim closer to the stern, following the hinge rudder. There just sideways of the whipstaff steering, he found another cannon port which was known as the stern chaser.

Crim: That right there is used to defend against pursuing ships. If the gun deck doesn't work then we can still make our way there.

Chris: Then why didn't we come here before?

Crim: Not all ships have those, as well as the fact there's not as many ways to move around from this side.

Chris latched onto his back again and they began climbing just high enough for Haze Grasp to work. Once close to the stern chaser, Chris gave the okay to no enemies and Crim prepared to infiltrate.

Crim: [Haze Grasp]

Crim left arm became a shadowy mist which slides inside the cannon port and unlocks it from the inside. The two thieves entered the ship like they would a house trough the window.

Chris: We're finally in assistant, this is so exiting!

If only Crim would look her in those big starry eyes, but in his defense, nobody would be looking her in the eye under his circumstances. The phantom took out a blue vial and drank it, putting a 15 mana recovery effect to work.

Crim: That was 31 left of my total mana so we need to be careful until I can recover a little. Next let's see about going up.

Chris: Right, the relic feels like is just up above anyways.

They found themselves in a small compartment of the ship, door locked, space just big enough to accommodate a cannon and some room for one crew member to move around. It held a small cannon, a pile of cannon balls on the corner, one barrel of unknown purposes and a lamp over by the ceiling, illuminating the small room. Soon the two thieves noticed they where leaving a trail of sea water. Crim clothes and wig where specially drenched whereas Chris didn't really have much to soak other than her hair.

Chris: Strip heathen, join the social death club with me.

Crim ignored her dark eyes of social yanderism and loosened his right sleeve. The chain soon began to spill out slowly.

Crim: [Pain of the Warm Breeze] Now we just need a couple minutes to dry up, here come closer. [Eraser Step]

The water drip over the floor dried out instantly when the trail erasing skill was used, now all that's left was to dry each others. The thieves snuggled inside the cramped room. Crim wrapped the chain as it began to work it's magic, but soon noticed a certain someone getting a little touchy.

Chris: Ku ku ku.

A hand slid inside of Crim pants, it brought his attention to the horny goddess before him, loosing her mind over how long it was taking to get what she wanted.

Chris: Kya!

Crim wasted not a second more and pushed her belly first over the cannon. Stealth be dammed, then he came from behind Chris and pulled out something hard like a rock.

Chris: Ahh! Ahh… Ahmm!

She moaned, albeit holding as much voice as she could so she wouldn't give their position away, but it sure wasn't easy. With her legs completely spread over the cannon and feeling hands on her ass, how could she not be horny when placed in such a degrading position? Chris insides sucked on the sinner cock like a vacuum, tingling each time where it felt like it would escape, only to come back forcibly. Chris lower stomach stung lightly, she had just considered the position she was in and the burn of adrenaline felt like she had just swallowed a flame, it only added to her horny bliss. She was near, she was reaching the heavens. The liquid dripping out of her began to spill over the ignition system, where Crim zip was inadvertently starting a spark from the metal clash on the cannon flintlock—

Chris: Aaahhhhm!

BLAM!

The cannon fired, causing everyone inside the ship to jump out of their shoes. Back on the stern chasers room, a goddess of luck covered in soot, now trembled or better said, vibrates like she where riding a cannon just now.

Chris: Cough, cough, cough. A-a-assistant a-are you alright!?

Assistant was silent and hunched over in the fetal position, no words coming out of him.

Chris: Assistant…? Hey answer me, we need to get out of here, we don't have time for….!

Then it hit her, the sinner was standing balls first behind the cannon when the recoil happened.

Chris: Oh my senior! Is okay, you hear me, you're gonna be okay!

Crim wanted to bent his rage upon her, but for once he didn't feel like his boner would be up to the task. Outside the doors a commotion could be heard, it was only a matter of time before someone came to investigate.

Chris: Hide, hide, we need someplace to hide!

She started looking around and soon her attention was drawn to the barrel nearby. She removed the lid and it was filled half way with apples, bananas and some chestnuts. She could fit in easily there, the problem was the sinner. Chris could see Crim trying to stand up, but it was in vain, nor did he sounded like he had the air in his lungs for chanting. Her only option was to drag him back outside and dive underwater once again—

Chris: Ehm….?

She felt the water breathing buff wearing off and the rage consumed her.

Chris: (Darn it senior!)

She always knew she had an useless senior, so why was she surprised? Now what did she had to work with? Whiteout a water breathing buff they would have to surface sooner or later to risk being found out, and Crim didn't look like he could hold his breath for even a second, rather he looked fully focused in some ancient breathing technique. The other plan was to hide him on the barrel and jump herself overboard, at least if she could hold her breath long enough, the sailors might give up looking. But this scenario had too many risks, if they opened the barrel then the sinner would be caught defenseless and if she jumped just herself overboard she'll have nothing to chase away the sharks. It all pointed out to her having to fight right here and there, but soon something else caught her eye.

Part 3

Sailor: Let's see here.

Drunktard: Hic, am telling you, that seagull knew how to play blackjack.

Two crewmates walked inside the darkened room of the stern chaser, where the cannon port would be, now a hole had been blasted. The less incapacitated crewmate observed.

Sailor: The lantern fell from the ceiling…. That must've been the reason why the cannon fired. It must have ignited the flintlock somehow.

The sailor observed the relatively small and dark room, only a beaming light coming trough the hole in the wall. There was a broken lantern in the floor, some glass and oil spilled about, a pile of cannon balls in the corner and one barrel which was shaking slightly for some reason.

Sailor: Check that barrel for me while I look outside will you.

Drunktard: Farthing bird sure had a poker face let me tell you.

Sailor: That's because the monster species is called a Pokergull you dimwit! Now help me with the investigation already!

The drunkard grunted an removed the lid from the barrel, it was full of apples, chestnuts and bananas. In a moment of hunger he sluggishly buried his hand inside the fruit pile.

Chris: Eek!

And it made girl sounds.

Sailor: What was that just now—

Drunkard: BURRRRP…! Sorry, couldn't hear you over the passing gas… Still these fruits sure feel soft when you touch them?

The sailor just rolled his eyes and returned to investigating outside the ship for any signs of a boat. The drunkard held his balance and resumed fishing the barrel for some food.

Drunkard: Damn these apples be getting softer and fondlier since I was a wee lad… Tis some good fucking food let me tell— ouch!

The apples bit him in retaliation, or so it would seem.

Drunkard: Hey what the…? The hell that… The apples just bit me!

Sailor: [Sighs] Yes dimwit, our fruits and vegetables can fly, sing, fight and even bite when they feel like it. Now close the lid before they get away.

Drunkard: Ehm, but I want an apple…. Oh thank you!

A hand stuck out of the barrel and offered a live apple to the dizzy man, but if the apples can sing and bite then there's no reason why they couldn't grow a girl's hand and give a thumbs up too. The sailor who finished inspecting the outside, now turned around and got a better look at the cannon.

Sailor: I'll need to report this to the captain asap, and you can do something useful for once and bring that barrel back to the store.

Drunkard: Ugh! That sounds like a pain! Who cares if it stays here or not?

Sailor: The chef, and you know what happens when he runs out of ingredients.

The simple thought sent chills running down the two men spines.

Sailor: If there's provisions here then it sure was because it couldn't fit inside the storage before, but there was some space last time I checked. Take it there and maybe It'll save us the trouble later.

With his analysis completed, the sailor returned to his captain to report what seemed way too obvious. Some dimwit had forgotten to safe the cannon and it fired over the slightest accident. The drunk sailor pushed down the barrel on its side.

Chris: Eek!

It made once again a girl sound, but he just shrugs it off as the fruit being weird in his world, he was too drunk to care how apples or bananas sounded like these days anyways. The drunken sailor began to roll the barrel up the stairs. Chris was specially cautious not to wake up the fruit as she was slithering herself in before, but now each and every one was getting abruptly woken up.

Chris: Gik… Ahm!

The fruits weren't happy, and had begun to bully the intruder.

Drunkard: Maybe I'll have some of this fruit with a wank later, I love the sounds they make.

The sailor finished taking the barrel up two sets of stairs and headed fort fore, rolling the barrel on its sides as it goes.

Chris: (Ouch! Hide in the barrel with all the angry fruit of course! Why did I think this was a good idea!?)

The poor thief eyes rolled drizzly as the fruits beats her ass. The apples had her hands pinned behind her back, Chris tried to fight, aiming to bite an entire apple in half.

Chris:….!

But she bit more than she could chew, her mouth got caught pry-open on the apple, like she had a gag ball. And as her struggle remains, the barrel suddenly stops rolling, heavy footsteps could be heard coming.

Drunkard: L-lord Burmese!

Chris nearly gives her position away with a moan. It definitely wasn't the burrs from the many chestnuts burying on her skin, or the banana that peeled itself before it maliciously defiled the goddess.

Chris: Aahhm!

Nope those weren't definitely the reason why she moaned, but she has never been so glad to have been gagged before, and she was really starting to hate the fruits on her world. A gruff voice came from outside the barrel.

Burmese: What's that you have there?

Drunkard: Oh… i-is a fruit barrel sir! W-we found it on the stern chaser room and I was tasked with storing it with the rest of the food!

Burmese: Fruit… guess it can't hurt to try some of those in a while… Carry on, then find the chef and tell him to put some fruit with the next supper. He's at the dinner table with the rest of guests.

Drunkard: A-aye sir!

With a trembling voice, the drunk sailor began to roll the barrel along the way once again. The dizziness from the barrel roll, the apples pulling on her hair, the chestnuts burr stinging like a bitch, the sinning monkey meal having it's way back and fort with her undefended pussy, she was really starting to regret her plan right now. Then Chris suddenly felt like gravity was playing a prank on her.

Chris: Eeeeeeekkkkkk!

The drunkard left the barrel roll down the stairs, two sets of stairs apparently. Chris realized she had most likely descended from the gun deck to the lowest, storage deck, then she heard a door closing. Silence follows, it was very quiet for a moment, cold too, and she had about enough for getting picked on by fruit, so she pushed the lid open.

Chris: Gah!

It was cold, like she where inside a cooler. The first sight that meets her where the ice sigils drawn on the wall, illuminating the dark woodwork. Chris got herself out of the barrel and shook like a dog drying up, the malicious fruit fell off her. She took the apple off her mouth and bit it off properly, removed the chestnuts from the crown of her head and her buttocks, crushed the banana that fell off under her heel. She was about to chase the rest of the insolent scrambling fruit when she caught better sight of the storage.

Chris: No… this can't be…

It resembled a meat locker, with pigs and lizards stuck on the hooks, but it held something that wasn't supposed to be there. Bodies, bodies of young men and women stuck on hooks too, completely devoid of life as scorch was beginning to form over the skin.

Chris: This is horrible… This people are cannibals. Assistant, we have to do something!

She turned around to see no one there, the shock had made her forget they've been separated.

Chris: I have to find him, Burmese has to be stopped and whoever's in cahoots with him too…! The relic can wait for after we….!

Then it hit her, what might be the reason why Burmese wanted the Ring of Assimilation. Her attention was drawn back to the human bodies on the hooks, the incident from when everyone turned into monsters, everything was starting to click inside her head, that she had seen the visitors on the boats, but never what the people inside the ship looked like.

Chris: Burmese never fully turned back into a human, none of the people inside this ship must have!

Now it was even more important to put an end to it all, but she couldn't do it alone, she needed to find Crim first. Chris turned to give a prayer for those who perished, if only she had spent more time in heaven, maybe she could have heard them out and found about this sooner. Once she was done praying she went back to the trapdoor on the ceiling of the storage deck.

Chris: [Detect Enemy]

She had to refresh the skill to continue. If her knowledge of maritime blueprints was any good, she was standing right behind the bow of the ship, at its fore end. Above was a trapdoor that should go up to the upper decks, where the crew quarters must be, and just as she was about to open it, the sound of another trapdoor opening from the far end of the storage deck was heard.

Chris: (Someone is coming.)

She hurried to get out of there but her enemy sensing skill alerts her otherwise, someone was standing right besides the trapdoor she wanted to take, and would find her immediately if she went trough. In the end though it bothered her tremendously to do so, she chose to hide behind the hooked body rows, right behind one of a dead cow. Some seconds later among the dark and blueish scenery, a silhouette began to close in. It was a tall and wide man, brown beard with hints of gray, holding a 14 inch meat cleaver, wearing a white bloodstained apron and a chef's hat. The man who walked by had a strange, almost deformity of the skin, as if he where turning tree bark, bloated in a gray tone. Eyes completely buried in shadows.

Chef: Superp! Good afternoon gents, have any of you seen my basket of fruits perhaps?

Chris held the desire to yelp in fear when the monstrous man leers closer. She recedes farther into the rows of hook bodies.

Chris: [Lurk]

Just for good measure, she made herself harder to spot among the cover of darkness. The chef turns to his side and comes across the sight of the spilled fruit barrel.

Chef: Hmm, well, well, well what have we here. Someone forgot to close the lid.

The man points his meat cleaver across the room and begins to search for signs of life. Chris swallowed, even if the chef wasn't particularly looking for her, the fact it was looking for something was dangerous on itself. She had to get out there right—

Chef: FOUND YOU!

A heavy metallic CLANK echoes trough the storage deck. The Chef had found one apple hiding inside a coil of metal chains hook. With her heart wanting to jump out of her chest, Chris made way through the body rows, trying to get closer to the trapdoor on the stern side.

Chef: Ohhh there's one of you critters! And here's one more of you, come here, you all be served in a minute!

More heavy thuds and bangs could be heard behind, the fruits where serving as a distraction for once. Chris found herself not wanting to look back, or ahead even. It was a nightmare, stuck under the cold watching the cruel fate that has met all these people, as she hides by, another human body comes across the many animal ones. The phsyco right behind howled enthusiastically once again, and brought down his knife on something. But Chris was starting to go halfway trough the storage deck, it was so far away that the chef was starting to disappear from her enemy detection. Chris at that moment felt so relieved, that she stopped looking at where she trampled, and focusing on the exit that she failed to notice the chestnut burr right under her feet.

Chef: Come on out all you little frui—

Chris: KYAOUCH!

The little fruits made a sound they weren't supposed to make.

Chef: Huh…?

The chef gaze focuses halfway trough the meat rows, where someone was jumping on one feet, and cursing too.

Chris: Curse that darn heathen for this!

In the eyes of the chef, there was a white haired naked boy with a burr stuck on his feet, cursing someone for apparently no reason others than it had become just a habit.

Chef: You… I found a fresh one!

Chris removed the burr from her feet and soon found the chef meat cleaver coming for her head. How had he even cleared that much distance and so soon?

Chef: Young boys, my favorite!

Chris jumped completely out of the way as the man bisected the carcass of a bear in one slice. She wanted to gut the chef for all he's done and calling her a boy on top, but the speed at which he closed in and the strength to completely sever a bear in half, meant the chef has probably a much higher level than her. Chris wished she had worked on raising her level, but then she remembered the dumb reason why she hadn't.

Memory Crim: Nay ner nye! Me liku weak girls yesssssss!

Some heathen had said no when she asked for help leveling up and said she was fine at level 18. Chris was abstaining from the theory proposed at the last Goddess Alliance meeting, but she was starting to agree with her senior point. "Everything is always the Leech fault one way or the other." And how right her senior can be sometimes.

Chef: Mwuahahahaha! Hide and seek, is it? Then hide and seek it is boy. [Enemy Detection]

Chris ears perked when she suddenly heard the chef chanting for a skill she knew all too well.

Chef: Found youuu!

Chris ducked at the last second when a flash of steel cleaves through three animal carcasses in one swing.

Chris: [Steal]

Chef: Ugh!

A flash of light blinded the man, Chris soon found the meat cleaver had switched sides and held firm in her hand. She lost not a second to try and take a swing at the blinded man.

Chris: Guhack!

The air was knocked out of her lungs, the chef swung with his big wide arm and not only deflected the meat cleaver but buried into Chris stomach and sent her flying.

Chef: Argh, my eyes! You little brat, so you where a thief class too!

The chef squeezed his eyes and crouched to pick the meat cleaver, a dot had remained flashing just ahead. The chef ran bulldozing trough the meat hooks when he found two chestnuts coming his way. He blocked with his forearm and the burrs bounced off.

Chef: That won't work on me you little—

Chris: [Lurk]

Chef:… Brat…

With the little air she had, Chris chanted and completely vanished from the radar. Thieves skills can sometimes be used to counter each others, and now the bloody chef had lost his way to spot the target among the meat rows and the darkness.

Chef: Is no use buddy, the way you fought before tells me you've been at this for way less longer than I have... I know the way we go about hiding much better than you!

The chef focused completely on his surroundings, he began to scan over the carcasses, and just a little slightly he noticed, one of them was balancing to the sides.

Chef: This is just making me want to get nastier about the way I'll skin you alive, brat!

He noticed another one swinging a little to the side. The ship was anchored and the seas where calm, for one of the hook meats to move like that, it meant someone wasn't careful enough when passing by.

Chef: Run all you want, cause nobody is coming to save you, you hear? Nobody will come for you… BUT ME!

The man pushed away two meat carcasses and reached a row of empty hooks before him. There by the middle of it all was the little rodent he was looking for, covering himself and shivering in cold and fear.

Chef: No more places to hide eh, boy. You had potential, all good five minutes that you gave me the slip, it was impressive, but sadly the only thing you're worth here, is protein!

The bloody chef advanced, bumping the meat cleaver on every hook as he goes. Then as he was about to close in for the finishing blow, he noticed the boy had stopped covering her naked body, then held a hook in each of her hands.

Chef: What the!? You where a girl!?

Chris: Yes, and a very rancorous one at that. [Bind]

The hook chain moved as if it has come to life and flew, burying painfully on the chef shoulder.

Chef: Aaaaaahhhhh youuuuuuu!

Chris: [Bind]

The second hook hurled himself against the chef wielding arm, sinking and causing him to lose hold of the meat cleaver.

Chef: Guaaarrg! CURSE YOU!

He clenched his fist and aimed for the brat.

Chris: [Bind]

Whom just walked a few steps forward before she touches a new hook and has it claw on the chef other arm, completely holding him in place. Chris kicked the meat cleaver away.

Chris: Sorry if that hurts a little, I promise you once we take care of the monstermorphosis we will heal you.

Chef: Monster…morphosis?

Chris: You know, what we call that phenomenon where everyone started turning into monsters, and was later found out it had to do with the hell miasma?

Something clicked in the mind of the chef. He had realized, the girl before him might have fought him before, but she didn't want to kill him.

Chris: Your skin looks a little weird, you no longer are a Hell Beast, but you still look like you're under influence of the miasma somehow, like you're stuck on a middle stage… right?

And that weakness, would be her undoing.

Chef: Yes! Miasma, a middle stage to Hell Beast, of course! So that was why when we where told everything would be back to normal, yet I felt something was still wrong…! The desire, the atrocities we committed under the influence of the hell pollution! How could I not have seen what it was all this time!? To think it was normal the way I was behaving when compared to my years of service under lord Burmese!

Chris: Oh, you can remember your life before the miasma struck? That would really save us a lot of time. I was about to ask just that.

Chest: But of course I remember! All my years of service even back to the school where I learned my craft, I remember it all! My friends, my family, my home town, everything!

Chris nodded and turned her back on the man, who began to slowly and painfully pull himself off the binds.

Chef: (Accursed brat! Wait till I get myself off these rusty hooks! I'll make her regret ever messing with me! I won't even cook her for lord Burmese, she'll be all mine!)

Chris crouched down to pick something. Blood gushed out of the chef arms and shoulder, he was just a push away from freedom.

Chef: (I won't kill her immediately, no, I'll let her live! Take a fraction of her at a time and eat it right before her, she'll be driven insane by the pain and torment. I'll make her the most miserable damn brat to ever walk the land of Eris—)

Chris pressed the meat cleaver against the chef stomach, prompting a sudden halt to his thoughts. She explained.

Chris: There isn't a middle stage between Hell Beast and not. You either go feral or you stay yourself even when your body completely turns into that of a beast.

Chef: W-wait! If you where going to kill me anyways then what was all that questioning about!?

Chris smiled mischievously.

Chris: Well, do you know the three ways there is for a demon to be born...? One is through regular birth via demon parents, the other is when the Hell itself provides the sinner souls with a body after outliving their sentences, so what do you think the third way is?

The meat cleaver buried slightly in the apron and skin, drawing even more red to the white piece of clothing.

Chris: Nemesis... There's a rare chosen few who don't turn Hell Beasts, and those become a powerful breed of demons known as the Nemesis. But you see, these particular brand of demons, have no recollection of who they where before turning. They can talk, they can think, they can reason and can be tremendously powerful, but absolutely not a single memory of who they where before… They just embrace the dark side and become someone or something completely different… They are extremely rare, like one in a million rare… It was kind of a stretch that everyone here would have turned into a Nemesis of course, but Nemeses unlike Hell Beasts, can be restored to who they where with holy magic. So I felt like I would loose nothing by asking. But there's no saving you, you guys just happen to be real demons in human flesh.

Chef: [Sweating] Wait… please wait! I'll do anything sto— AAAAAAHHHHHH!

A demon gutting a day makes the world a better place. Any goddess go-to motto.

Part 4

The storage deck was safe from enemies again. Chris was freezing like a goddess popsicle.

Chris: C-c-curse that heathen!

She hurried for the trapdoor on the stern side. No signs of enemies above so she opened the door.

Chris: This is… a kitchen.

It would make sense as to why the kitchen and the storage room would be connected. The kitchen had its regular working utensils, a pot boiling something she didn't know what it was, a sink full of dirty dishes. One eight seats wooden table with several meals served. Chris had heard that guests where being treated inside this ship, so the table before her must be for the crew, and a fancier dinning room should be the where the guests are. Across the room Chris noticed a ladder reaching into the upper level, and two doors, one on the wall behind her and the other fort. If going by her mind compass, the door behind her should lead to a corridor headed for the stern chaser room.

Chris: (Looking at the table, is just a matter of time before the sailors come here for their dinner. The door before me goes to a place I don't know, and the one behind me seems like it has guards on the other side… I have to take the ladder.)

The thief climbed the ladder and pushes it slightly open, looking side to side until she was sure the coast was clear. She got up to the gun deck level and followed trought the corridor. A guard was around the corner, or better say, a sailor, one doing Janitorial work. Chris spotted a small staircase beyond the sailor, two doors leading into some private quarters, and one in the middle who looked lavishly decorated. To get to the staircase, Chris had to pass the janitor, as there was no way around it. She had the advantage of enemy detection reaching the area inside the three quarters, only the most decorated one was empty. She made the choice to hide there. If the janitor where to turn back her way it would force her to return till the kitchen trapdoor, or drive her farther into the ship unknown areas. Thanks to the use of Lurk she was able to sneak behind the janitor back without much issue. Once inside she locked the door, it would look a little suspicious but it would amount to nothing more than that, especially in a ship with drunk sailors. Once she was able to focus on where she was, she found herself scanning her surroundings.

Chris: Hu hu hu. What do we have here?

It had a portrait on the wall of a wide man in his fifties. The room had a red carpet with patterns on the middle, one desk with a chair near a window, one king size bed, a dresser and a huge plate armor with helmet and a nanigata spear.

Chris: This can only be Burmese room. No one else could live this luxurious inside a ship.

She made way for the desk, where a pile of scrolls and books laid.

Chris: This is… the list of guests who visit this place!

The list, she had The List of whose invited to the Feasting Maiden. Now all she had to do was drop the scroll before the Dustiness door and they would have a list of everyone's whose ever partaken in this madness.

Chris: (I also have to ensure Darkness investigates this place somehow, but that's nothing an anonymous tip and the scroll can't manage.)

Well who would have know, she almost had the quest solved and she didn't even need the heathen. She'll make sure to brag about it right in his face when she finds him. Probably still nursing his balls on a dark corner or something while she does all the work.

Chris: (I'll take this thing with me then.)

She rolled back the scroll until it was neatly round, then she sat on the desk and straightened her spine, opening wide with her mouth.

Chris: Ahh.

The scroll was three inches wide, almost too big to swallow. She pushed one end completely inside.

Chris: Ugh….guhh…

She kept her spine straight, holding control of her gargling senses. The scroll began to descend down her throat, a drop of saliva spilled out her mouth as the wide scriptures kept going in, it was really uncomfortable. She thought back to the heathen, how much he loved to shove things down her throat. It made her heath up, forgo the unpleasant feeling and push down more, until she was able to completely swallow the thick scroll.

Chris: Gulp… Good thing the sinner casted that demon clown skill on me before we started swimming here.

She wasn't particularly happy to be made the target of a demonic skill, but the thought of the sinner using her like a bag of items silenced her protest for some reason….

Chris: (Oh my senior! I'm starting to become Darkness!)

The horror! She intended not to offend her friend by having rude thoughts of her of course, but the last thing she wanted in the world was to end like her best friend. Then as she cowered in no-ill-meaning-disgust, the doorknob made a sound it shouldn't.

Janitor: Huh… is locked?

Chris: (Darn it! I thought that fool was already done with the room… Wait the door is locked… maybe if he goes away for a minute I could go out while he tries to get the keys and—)

Janitor: Good thing I have the keys right here.

Chris: (Nooo! I'm supposed to be lucky! What is wrong with me lately!?)

Chris had a sudden flashback to her senior sitting on her knees like she where meditating.

Aqua: Hummmm….

Chris: What are you doing there senior?

The girl in question tended to do strange things to pass the time, but for some reason she always picked the curiosity of her young junior.

Aqua: I'm pushing away all unclean thoughts from my mind.

Chris: Oh, I see. Carry on— wait what!? W-why exactly?

Aqua: Because when goddesses are having impure thoughts, our powers weaken tremendously and the other day I tried to serve hot water to the Leech yet somehow it was still tea when I gave it to him.

The senior clicked her tongue and spat at the floor with attitude.

Aqua: And I worked so hard to keep that perfect streak of messing with him!

Back from Flashback Land.

Chris: (Of course! My powers weaken when I'm feeling horny!)

Is was the heathen who made her sneak around in birthday suit, so of course this would all be his fault as usual. She jumped out the desk she was sitting and began to scan the room.

Chris: (I need to find a place to hide!)

The desk was facing forwards the window, only the big plated armor and the bed where left as hiding spots.

Chris: (The janitor might have to clean under the bed and he could find me, but like heck I'm ever going to hide inside another armor—)

Janitor: Ah, this key wasn't it either… O right this one was it.

Chris: (Darn it!)

A moment later the janitor enters the room. It was being dimly illuminated from the only window on the wall. The janitor went about his business. Meanwhile inside a big fat armor.

Chris: (I won't fall for it! Heck no, I'm not a fool! The janitor would surely have to clean under the bed, but armors are delicate and only an expert can perform maintenance on them—)

Janitor: And I thought I was done with this room, but I always forget to grease the armor.

Chris: (Nooooo— Uahck!)

A bottle of anti rust grease was spilled all over the armor, making it shiny and slimy like the goddess inside.

Janitor: Better brush it up a little so it doesn't stick too much in just one place.

A black brush entered the gap from the armor neck. Chris sucks on her cheeks and bites them in place, it felt ticklish like when the heathen kisses her on the neck.

Janitor: Lord Burmese complained the armpits felt stiff last time, I have to clean those ones too.

The brush moved from her neck and started to reach down to her arms, where it continued tickling Chris mercilessly.

Chris: (Think of your angry place Eris, fo…focus on the sinner, remember his stupid sneer.)

Janitor: Now a little brushing under crotch veil.

Chris: (Noooooo— aahhhhhm!)

The janitor stuck the brush under the black veil which covered the crotch area of the armor.

Chris: (Think, remember! That time when senior confiscated your pads and parades them all over heaven!)

The little thief summoned for the power of burning revenge to get trough the ordeal until the janitor finally packs up and leaves. Once her Enemy Detection gave the clear, she stuck out of the greasy armor. Shiny, slimy and greasy herself too.

Chris: Eek!

She slipped and fell on her butt right as she stuck out. Her anger for this place was seriously mounting.

Chris: Huff, huff, huff… I made it… It was a pain but I the worse is over… I need to hurry and reunite with the sinner before someone else shows—

Enemy Detection caught a reading approaching.

Chris: (Whyyyy meeeee!!!??)

She tried get up and slipped back down to the floor. Three more slips on the grease later she had managed to hide under the bed. Never again in her life will she use armors as a hiding spot for sure. Heavy footsteps could be heard coming when the door opens and Chris hears a voice she now recognizes.

Burmese: Bluurrrp! I'm stuffed… Now let's see if my armor still fits.

The old general likes to done his armor for entertaining guests, and when bragging about his accomplishments on the battlefield. Meanwhile under the bed.

Chris: (Aha! I knew it shouldn't had trusted that armor! I almost get caught, but unlike senior I can learn from my—)

Burmese: Yack! The hell is this!? Why it smells like piss?

Chris silently turned red under the bed.

Burmese: Disgusting, that janitor will be put on the menu for this…! Well guess I'll have a nap for then.

Chris: (Huh?) Uffffff!

The bed made a heavy creaking sound which completely drowned the flattened little rodent under the bed.

Burmese: Ah, I forgot to close the curtain.

Burmese stood up with the bed crying heavily.

Chris: (Air at last—) Uuuuhagfff!

Burmese soon returned to his bed with a heavy creak of the later.

Burmese: Ups my bottle of wine. Can't sleep whitouth my body pillow.

Burmese stood up from the bed. Chris cries with the little air she has.

Chris: H…help— uffffff!

Burmese returned to the bed.

Burmese: Goddesses dammit, now I need my ear plugs!

Chris: (Please somebody save me from this—

Burmese: Woooahhhh!

The retired general accidentally slipped on the grease by the floor, falling backwards and landing full weight on the bed. There was a deafening death cry from the old bed and something under shot out like soap in wet floor.

PRAKS!

The thing that shot out at mind boggling speeds, broke trough the wall and splashes right on the sea water. The exposed rear and back of a white haired demi-cadaver floats with the waves.

Part 5

Under the cloudy sky of Shallots and bathed by the salty sea breeze, somewhere on the stern side of a great ship.

Chris: Shoo! Go away you little—Eeek! S-stop it!

A thief had just managed to climb the hinge rudder of the ship, just high enough to hang from the metal work and avoid the hungry sharks. The sharks reluctantly gave up as she started climbing higher and higher amongst the stern, and soon jumped back inside the stern chaser room.

Chris: Waaaahh! Assistant, it was horrible! This place is the worse!

She enters trough the hole in the wall with certainty that there's no enemies around, but enemies weren't the only ones who weren't there anymore.

Chris: N…no way!

She left Crim hiding in a dark corner last time. With his passives all he had to do was stop moving under a shadow and he would be practically invisible, but now he just wasn't there anymore. There was no response coming nor was he there when she went around feeling the walls.

Chris: (That accursed idiot left even though I told him specifically to stay put! And now I have no freaking idea where he could even be!)

She kicked one of the cannon balls out of frustration, which promptly resulted in her jumping in one feet and nursing the other. After the pain recedes.

Chris: (I have to find him. Is not like he's likely to get beaten but if he gets caught or even seen, then everyone here will make a run for it and go into hiding. I have to find him and fill him on what's going on so we can run full speed to the nearest teleport and tip Darkness father on what's going on.)

Chris pepped herself for a rescue mission and stuck to the door. For once it wasn't her screwing up, and that meant it was up to her to save some idiot from ruining everything.

Chris: (Last time I told the sinner that the relic was above us, and I wasn't away for so long, so the only place he could be would be somewhere around the sterncastle. I just have to go about until I'll spot him.)

Immediately after walking out the door, she finds herself before another one. There also was a corner leading into a corridor to the left, and a stair case situated nearby.

Chris: (Focus, I need to focus. I've been to the lowest deck before, and I passed by the kitchen on the way up… Then going by the layout, that door before me should be the kitchen, and that staircase where I was trying to bypass the janitor for. The sinner doesn't know where the relic is, so the most likely scenario is that he's looking for me while searching the doors on the deck above, which lead into the officers private quarters. Those two doors besides Burmese room or Burmese room are where he's at for sure!)

A quick recall to Burmese room made Chris shiver through her spine. She had to be careful that she wouldn't be found out, and she was already dry when it came to her mana, saving it only to keep the Enemy Detection going, her skillsets now running naked in the literal sense of the word. And then as she climbed up the stairscase, something had begun to feel strange about the scenery.

Chris:…. Where's everybody?

Her Enemy Detection range only covers the sterncastle of the ship, and though she hadn't encountered many crewmates blocking her way before, she had been able to see some dots moving around within her range, but now it was all empty, not even a sign of life.

Chris: (What is going on in here?)

She opens the door to the first officer quarters, it was a simple and efficient space with nothing but the necessary supplements. She moved onto the next and found it empty too, her attention was drawn back to Burmese room.

Chris: (There's no one there… The relic doesn't feel like is there either now that I am checking, but is possible He might be there.)

Chris gulped, then slowly began to push the door open. Inside was the room just like she left it, salves a hole in the wall, and something else was missing. She approached the perch on a side of the room.

Chris: The armor, it isn't here anymore.

Nor was the spear. Chris had begun to fear the worse, that Crim had been found out and was engaged in battle with the rest of the ship while she's been patiently moving around. Just then something flares up in her enemy radar.

Chris: (Someone is coming!)

The main deck possesses an elevation on the stern side, which serves as the captain cabin. An enemy dot had began to move heading for the staircase, it would soon be upon her if she didn't hurry. She closed the door to Burmese room and ran for the corridor. The dot was coming down the staircase, and it'll be too risky to use it for going down herself. Chris headed for the trap door which connects to the kitchen.

Chris: (That was close, someone suddenly started moving so fast all of a sudden.)

She wiped the sweat off her forehead, it was troublesome enough to look for somebody and hide herself at the same time, she didn't need these jump scares. The kitchen looked the same as she had left it, she was actually worried the food on the wooden table might go to waste, only different detail was the boiling pot had stopped boiling, someone at least put off the fire. Then as she was breathing in relief.

Chris: W-what is this!?

The enemy dot had moved again like it where following her trail to the kitchen trap door. This prompted Chris too look at herself in better detail, and soon she realized she was dripping in sea water.

Chris: Drat! I've been leaving a trail all this time!

She quickly stood over the sink and squeezed her hair, later taking an apron to rub all over her body until she had dried better. Now that she wouldn't leave a trail, she could escape for sure, or so she thought.

Chris: (What is going on here!?)

Beyond her a door which leads onto unknown territory, behind her the door going back to the corridor near the stern chaser room where they first entered the ship, both sides had enemy dots flash for a moment.

Chris: (That's it! The sailors are using Lurk, if they use Lurk they can disappear from my enemy radar completely!)

She felt proud or her deduction but time was already running short for her, the enemy dot which was following her was about to reach the kitchen, and enemies had just flashed right outside both doors of the kitchen, she had to hide. She tried on the pantry and walked out disgusted, she tried under the table but soon found the mantle too short to hide anything. She considers the oven and immediately walks away in fear that she's made a roasted goddess is she where caught. Her only leftovers spot would be the crew dinning table, whereas several dishes including trout, clam soup, salad and even a whole roast pig where served. Chris carries the whole-pig inside the oven and hides it there, she bites the apple the pig has on its mouth and kneels on the dinner tray, butt to the air, and hand on a butter knife concealed under her.

Chris: (This cannibal will think I'm on the menu and then I'll shank him once he gets close.)

The trap door opened and soon footsteps where heard, someone had come to a halt after reaching inside the kitchen, it was probably the enemy dot Chris had felt following her around. It would seem it had activated Lurk just now as the goddess couldn't see it anymore in her radar, and the reason it had stopped was most likely because it had seen her. A wave of predatory instincts flooded the kitchen. Sweat ran down the whole-goddess on the meal tray. She was trembling like a little prey, who was this dangerous creature who had her trembling like that? She tried to play it cool, or dead in this case, when the enemy dot approaches.

Chris: (Noooooo!)

She felt salt being sprinkled all over her, along with spices and even steak sauce. If her mouth hadn't been gagged she might have given herself away right there. She had to do something, or else she'd be getting eaten, but she was so afraid she could barely move. Just then she felt her leg had been taken, it was being held by the ankle and a slimy tongue ran through from her thighs all the way to her feet, then it bit her.

Chris: Hhhmmmm!

She cried in pain as she jumped out of the tray, apple in mouth then pointed the butter knife at some tall dark figure, that's when the realization hit.

Chris: Hmmmm!

The supposed enemy grabbed the apple off her mouth and had a bite at it. With a crunch he soon followed.

Crim: Hello, milady. What where you doing on the menu?

Part 6

One quick explanation later.

Crim: Cannibalism, I see.

Chris: Is horrible, we have to do something! We need to get the scroll with the damming evidence to Darkness and right now!

They spoke in whisper to each others as Crim monitors a handful of cards.

Crim: Can't do, they where trying to get away just a moment ago, luckily I destroyed the whipstaff steering so they couldn't sail the ship and wrecked their life boats before they could escape, but one of them used some sort of distress signal spell, there was nothing I could do about it.

Chris: B-but how? You said they hadn't spotted you yet, and neither have they seen me. So how?

Crim: Did you left a trail?

Chris: Of course not you amateur! Who do you take me for, senior? I told you I only had forgotten to dry myself because I got so caught up in finding you that I never noticed, but they where already gone by….

Chris remembered something that she had forgotten to get rid of.

Chris: The chef… I never hid the chef body.

Crim: And there you go, they found him and now have gone full alarm, is why the only ones around here are thieves class who can fool Enemy Detection with skills of their own. They're trying to prey on us while the majority of the crew focuses on protecting the guests somewhere else.

The card of the king of Spades revealed a crewmate with a bandana and a dagger skulking around Burmese room before closing the door and resuming the search.

Crim: Luckily I had the time to mark some rooms before everything went crazy, and now I can keep track of them even whitouth Enemy Detection, is how I found you back when you entered Burmese room….. And by the way milady, why did you tried to run away from me?

Chris: Because I see you no different than an enemy and I thought you where one, obviously.

The lucky goddess declared with plain sincerity.

Crim: Ehm…at least you're safe I guess?

Crim put the deck of cards back on his pocket and stood before the door to the main dinning hall. He chanted for Silencer and soon the door started to open slowly before a sailor had stuck his head in, promptly facing a tall figure in steel mask and with white hair. Chris cringed in empathy as the sailor fruitlessly tried to scream for help while his face was pummeled blue, then went falling to birdie land. Not a sound was made despite the brutal beatdown.

Crim: Well, better get to work around here, we have an entire ship to murder.

Chris: W-what, murder!? We cannot do that, these people have to be taken to court and—

Crim: Be poorly judged by a courtroom which can be bought with money? You seriously don't think that's going to end well, do you?

Chris: We cannot kill senselessly like that! If our lives are threatened that's one thing, but we can escape if we try, you cannot be thinking of going on a murder spree around here just because you don't believe in the judicial system…! I told you, we are thieves not assassins!

Crim: Milady, I am whatever I want to be. But before we keep on, please take look at the people you want to save.

Chris looked down more attentively and let out yelp of surprise. Crim removed the bandana from the sailor head, giving a clearer view of his facial features, it had started to gain a pale, broken like appearance as if it where becoming something else entirely.

Crim: I thought it was some strange disease with the first one I encountered, but other than the guests, everyone seems to be afflicted by this strange skin condition in the ship.

Chris: This… is the same as with the chef, I hadn't noticed it before because I wasn't looking at them face to face… I thought it was just a skin condition too, but if the rest also suffer from it then….they're turning into ghouls!

She clenched her fists in frustration. Crim took the opportunity and inquires with her.

Crim: So, I take it by your looks that we're kay with the, "murder spree?"

He watched as Chris stepped lightly on the throat of the unconscious sailor, until it made him stop breathing entirely.

Chris: Oh heck yeah! No jail time can save them now, they might as well be dead already. All that can help these creatures now is an one way ticket to the hell pits, and I think you and I should start a purge around here!

Crim: Huas huas huas, that's milady. Now then, stand still.

The sinner approaches the naked goddess, he held her by the waist and soon had her leaning back like in a dance hall. Crim removed his left hand glove and rolled the sleeve back as he held Chris, she opens her mouth and Crim stuck his hand in. The phantom hand buried deep, deeper, making a visible bulge on the goddess slim neck, soon he was elbow deep and had started to fiddle with his fingers. He took out two daggers, a holy one and a greenish one, then stuck his hand once again to get a simple white machete. After getting their equipment out, Crim allowed Chris to sit on the table and clear he throat.

Crim: Now that we have our equipment, we can go about doing our business. I had recovered my full mana with potions while you where away and now with Silencer I'm down to 47 again, so here's what we're gonna do.

Chris watched as Crim picks the dead sailor body and chanted Clown Rules. The sailor body was fit inside a jar of pickles and later stored in the pantry with relative ease.

Crim: I don't know the spell in particular, but I heard there's one which lets you track the aura of somebody after a fresh kill, so we'll be moving around while hiding the bodies each and every time… I cannot use weapons whitouth giving away our position because of the lightning curse (all the kung fu screaming), so you'll have to help me out a little. I'll also handle the cleanup and provide support with my skills.

Chris: Wait wait wait a minute, you want to be sneaky even after they found us out and we're killing them anyways…? Who are you? The sinner I know would be going trough walls and ceilings just to Fatality spines a second faster.

Crim: Well milady, do you want them to see you naked as we go around full on purge mode?

Chris: Heck no! Stealthy purge it is!

Crim pulls out a pink salve carrying a mana regen of 15 accompanied with a speed buff and drinks it. Leaving only one more pink salve with 5 mana on his pouch.

Crim: Are you ready milady?

Chris: Hecks yeah!

Part 7

The phantom pulled out a deck of cards and marked the kitchen before heading up the ladder, his mama drops to 40 now. The two assassins arrived at the gun deck level. There Crim followed a narrow hallway until he exits the sterncastle and enters the cannon ports of the gun deck. He began to look for a hole in the floor and soon found an arrow slit, he was observing a target trough one of the cards for a mark he had left on the level below, the guest dinning room. He motioned for Chris to get ready, she responded by pointing up her holy dagger.

Crim: Stay down there and watch the body until I catch up to you. [Haze Form]

Crim turned just Chris into a mist like essence and she began to sip through a hole in the floor. Haze Form despite its many uses, has the curious weakness that it can only travel up to fifteen ft in a very slow manner. Which is why Crim had to time the skill correctly to have Chris materialize right behind the lurking crewmate. Chris proceeds to split open the back of said crewmate with the gusto of a dangerous life form. Crim mana was now down to 36.

Crim: [Enemy Detection]

A radar like corner appeared at the end of Crim peripheral vision. He compared the results with the rooms he had marked before.

Crim: (I see, I haven't marked the storage or the crew quarters on the forecastle yet, but it would appear mostly everyone evacuated to the main deck above.)

Crim looks up to the ceiling of the gun deck.

Crim: (I've seen four more different jeager sailors trough the cards, two headed for the crew quarters before milady dropped to kill a fifth one in the dinning room.)

He began pacing around the gun deck to have his Enemy Detection range cover as much ground as he could. Luckily his level was higher than Chris, and his skills where much more powerful when he used them.

Crim: (There's seven enemy marks up there, surrounded in each side by more dispersed marks, those must be the remaining sailors or the personal guards of the guests. I count a total of seven marks besides the tenth more dispersed about.)

He looked back to the cards in his hand, then up.

Crim: (The crew number feels too small for a ship this big. Though given what goes on here, it is possible that the ones who remain are the only ones willing to put up with what's going on… Then there's no point in making them wait.)

He walked for a barrel of cutlasses and grabbed all five available, before he began to stand right below the Mark's on his Enemy Detection radar.

Crim: (Only four left on the hunt, the ones above probably are the ones who can't use thieves skills to track us. It won't matter if I can't hide the bodies unless they regroup.) [Silencer] [Venom Gland]

He buried three cutlasses on the floor and aimed with the other two. His mana went down to 29. Crim also made sure to spit on the tip of each sword. Later he launched two simultaneous piercing thrusts trough the wooden ceiling of the deck. Above two aristocrats unlucky enough to be targeted by the swords coming out the floor, felt as if their tendons blew to pieces. The powerful strength of the thrust served on the power of Crim sneak attack, immediately incapacitated the targets legs upon strike, they fell down screaming, but not a sound was made. It was rather the over-erratic visage of the victims, for which the occupants of the main deck immediately knew something was wrong, but before they could even realize what, Crim had let go of the blades stuck on the ceiling and taken to the ones cleaved on the floor, he pulled them out and struck twice again, one more aristocrat went down crying in blood curling silence.

Crim: (One of them survived the attack, only three have gone down.)

The thought flashed in an instant within his mind. Crim pulled the last cutlass out of the floor and one from the ceiling. He was preoccupied that the venom on the one above had already been exhausted, but he had no time to prepare more, so it was to work with it nonetheless, but something unexpected happened. When he found himself holding a complete blade and one snapped in half. Crim made an immediate attack with the one which was still in one piece and dropped the other, instinctively ready to take another one from the remaining three stuck on the ceiling. It was at this moment when he noticed something piercing down trough the ceiling and was forced to dodge. It was a nanigata like blade. Then something completely tore to pieces the area where Crim was once standing, it left many a bullet-like trails of light before disappearing completely, it felt like it where a shotgun blast. Crim turns around and ran full speed out of the area as more of these shotgun like bullets-alike rain down on the gun deck with plain silence.

Crim: (Only four went down in the end, and someone up there not only blocked my sneak attack, but shattered a blade and reciprocated.)

It wasn't the best outcome but he had managed to kill more targets.

Crim: (If I got lucky and those where in fact, the guests, then their personal guards would have nothing better to do than come down here seeking revenge, and that'll be their downfall.)

Crim observed the dots scattering all over in panic, but he had no time to focus on them. He needed to regroup with Chris, and made for the ladder down to the kitchen, where he took out two throwing knives.

Crim: [Venom Gland]

He gave each a lick and promptly pierces two steps of the ladder with each, setting a trap for those to come. Afterwards he heads for the door to the main dinning hall. He knocks on the door five times before pausing to knock twice more, letting Chris know the identity of whose behind the door, then walks in.

Chris: What took you so long!?

He was greeted by an impatient goddess missing on all the undead purging fun, she quickly took a stance by his side. Crim analyzed the room, he had been there before when he left a Mark sigil on, it didn't have as high a ceiling as he would expect from something this lavishly furnished, but it was normal of a ship deck where space couldn't be wasted. A long dinning table to sit sixteen members, covered in a white mantle of golden designs, red carpeted floor, portraits of finely art works by the wall and a barrel of ice and champagne. Over the table some candle sticks illuminating everything, but no a dish served at the moment. Crim attention was drawn to the sailor in stripped clothes—bleeding by the floor. He picked him up and places the body atop the white mantle table, completely ruining the white treads forever.

Crim: [Disguise] [Eraser Step]

His mana went down to 22, or so it should have been if three minutes hadn't went by already, recovering 9 more of his mana and bringing it back to 31. The skill he used completely erased any trace of blood, both on the floor and on the white mantle, making it look good as new. The spell he used had the dead sailor camouflage with the golden patterns on the mantle, giving it a look as if where a part of it all along.

Chris: Amazing assistant! Now the hunters won't have a body to trace us around.

As Chris enthusiastically jumps besides him, Crim Enemy Detection informs him of visitors over by the gun deck. He pulled out a handful of cards and observed, promptly spotting five enemies. Four men in light armor and wielding swords, the fifth was a mage.

Crim: (It would seem some of the main deck targets have come down to join the fun.) Step away milady, and hold this for me where I can see it.

Chris raised a frown, but put some distance nonetheless and held the card of the Ace of Clovers facing Crim. The phantom took out five throwing knives, but this time he caught on lightning immediately.

Chris: Eek! W-what are you doing you crazy—

Crim fires all five knives within a second and quarter of the next. His strength multiplied by the long distance sneak attack mod and the lightning curse, had the knives ppierce trough wood like it where air. Guide by his vigilance sigil on Chris card and his innate talent for architecture, Crim easily fell all five enemies before they even knew what hit them. The lightning curse dissipates.

Crim: [Coughs smoke] That takes care of a few more.

Chris: Amazing assistant! I didn't know you could throw knives so well!

Crim: Well, I have 3.4 times the strength of a normal man, and 5.3 times the precision, add my sneak attack mods and this is what would happen. Now let's go after the hunter on the crew quarters, milady.

Chris: Alright! I'm pumped up for this!

She jumped exited to Crim side after she observed the results trough the Ace of Clovers. She doesn't held assassination on the same level as she holds chivalry theft, but even then she felt herself blushing a little before her competent apprentice. Soon enough they walk all the way to the end of the dinning half before being met with a door. Crim had noticed one of the thief class sailors lurking around the dinning hall before disappearing pass this door, and left his buddy behind for Chris to later take out. The problem itself was the element of surprise. A sneak attack mod on a dagger has 25 times the strength of a target, all someone needs is exceed level 35 and even with 88 vitality, Crim can easily be killed or maimed in one unprompted strike. He hadn't time to explore and mark this side of the ship before reuniting with Chris, and Enemy Detection nor Trace Step could help him determine whether someone would be hiding somewhere around.

Crim: [Haze Glare]

A black smoke seeps under the door and reveals a corridor, with one sailor hugging the wall and the other just around a farther corner.

Crim: (It would appear that they heard me before when I nailed their friends with the throwing knives, and set an ambush behind the door. I told milady to keep Lurk up with the mana she had left and mine hasn't expired yet, so neither us nor them can see each others.)

Crim signals Chris to stand back and raises a fist.

Crim: [Horror]

He buried a straight right trough the closed door frame, completely tearing trough and landing a square sock to the head of a sailor hiding behind it. The strength of Crim blow times the 6 mod, sent the sailor rolling trough the floor before he came to a stop on the wall by the narrow halfway end.

Chris: Did you get him?

Inquiries Chris after she understood what Crim was trying to do. Crim had his eyes set to look trough the hole in the door. Two seconds later he rotates the doorknob and walks himself in, a sailor lays unconscious by the narrow hallway. Crim quickly looks at a handful of cards to see how the situation is panning out and explains.

Crim: This guy had a buddy here with him, but he went down those stairs the moment I caught this one here.

Crim pressed the sole of his boot on the unconscious sailor head, applying pressure until a wet crack sound was heard. The cranium crushed under and pierced the brain, ensuring a quick death of the ghoulish sailor.

Crim: The cards show two more lurking around the stern chaser and there where four down here before they started going into rooms I don't have Mark's on. The guy ahead has to be alone.

Chris: Oh, I know where that is, that's storage deck he went down to, where all the….

She made a pause, and never finished what she meant to say. Crim understood this must be the same place she was having trouble talking about before, where the ship mates keep the bodies they eat. He proceeds to Mark the wall with a sigil and draws a new card to assign it for. In between his expenses and the timely recovery he was down to 25 mana at the moment, had one more minute to recover, meaning he would get 3 more mana before he can drink his last potion and recover five more. But as it stands now, he was starting to run completely dry even by all the new potions he acquired.

Crim: Only 33 mana left in total, I'll chase after the one who went below… I don't have a mark for the crew quarters yet and I need one, but I can't let the guy below escape when I know he's alone… Milady, please go to the crew quarters above and Mark them for me will you. [Coin Transmission] [Mark]

He passed a plain coin to Chris and a handful of cards. She was hesitant to leave him go down there alone, but didn't protest his decision. She knew he could handle himself, and that he was only letting her go so she didn't had to see that place anymore.

Crim: Don't worry about a sneak attack, I have vigilance of the gun deck which is necessary to get to the forecastle and the other way is through here. The remaining lurkers you can see them clearly on the stern castle with my Mark's, nobody will bother you.

With that being said, Crim chants for Clown Rules and pulls out an empty potion vial. He stuffs the dead sailor in to get rid of the body and hides the vial below the door rubble. Afterwards Crim opens the trap door and began to descend the stairs into the eerie darkness that was the storage room.

Chris: Be careful you hear!

He waved her worries away and continued. Once in, he closed the trapdoor above so he would hear if someone got past him by chance. The storage deck was cold, low altitude ceiling of metal hooks hanging from chains connected to bars that stretch all the way from one end to the other.

Crim: (I see why milady wasn't so eager to talk of this place, is just like a meat locker.)

The blue lights brighten and dim with each second that goes, the sigils of ice magic that kept the place at freezing temperatures where all the lights Crim had.

Crim: (It would be easy to hide among all this darkness and bodies. Meanwhile I who just came out of the trapdoor and into the open….the sailor has most likely never lost sight of me since I walked in.)

Crim felt a strange sensation overcome him, it made him feel like stiffening for a moment, but it soon went away.

Crim: (That was probably a paralysis illusion what I just felt. I heard from the evil meal that illusions are extremely effective on the lower levels. Having someone with a luck of 12 which is standard on level one means he can charm and enchant nearly anyone under level 12, which is why most bandits and scum take to the easy way and become thieves at the start of their careers. So they can take advantage of using luck as their irresistible magic mechanic, but it starts to fall behind against people like me who long exceeds their maximum luck with a high level.)

Crim heard the clinging sound of metal coming from the right side. A rusty hook-and chain was flying straight at him.

Crim: Ngh!

He caught it right before his face and started to struggle with it as the rusty chains constrict around his body. Someone had casted Bind on it. Ropes or chains under the effect of Bind launch themselves after the target set and won't stop until they've lived up to their name.

Crim: [Bind]

But an enchanted object can change its tune rather easy if a more powerful caster uses the same spell on it. The chain and hook fell down to the floor with a thud, Crim had no direct view of his target or any idea where it was, so though he was able to overwrite the Bind spell, he couldn't have it return to his aggressor. But what he had now, was a clear direction.

Crim: (This thing came from the hook rows on the right.)

He turned and began to walk towards the meat rows on the right. Crim pressed his palm against one and unsheathed the greenish dagger Chris had gifted him. Immediately after lightning curses trough his body and into the meat slab, following next to the rusty chain and spreading all over.

Lurker sailor: WUUAAAAAAAHH!

Came the screaming from the sailor whom was hiding behind one of the carcasses. He fell to floor in convulsions from the electrical shock. Crim crushed the ghoulish sailor windpipe under his boot before he could even get up.

Crim: That takes care of things down here.

He grabbed the dead body and took it to the wall where the ice sigils where painted.

Crim: [Disguise] [Mark]

The dead body was left hanging from a hook just as it had done with the rest of it's victims, merging onto the pattern of the sigils as if it never was there, just a drawing more on the wall. Crim also left a mark and placed it upon another card from the deck, he had given Chris only the ones who where in use plus a blank one so she could watch out for lurkers while they where separated.

Crim: (The potion I just drank has served its purpose, I now have a total leftover of 11 mana. There's two more lurkers skulking around, and 13 more targets on the main deck. I need to get smarter or else I'm going to have to go Rambo around here.)

No self respecting delinquent would want to be Rambo unless he has too. Batman he told himself, he was Batman.

Crim: I'm Batman!

Batman, drank his last potion and left the storage deck right trough the door he came and returned to the hallway of the forecastle. His mama would reach 16 in five minutes and that be it. Above him thuds and noises where heard as if a battle had begun. He quickly climbs up the ladder and is met with the back of one of the sailors. He was drawing a strange sigil on the floor, then he let one of his daggers fall on and be swallowed by the magic sigil until they both banish. Crim chants Lurk in whispers so the skill wouldn't give up on him and approaches the sailor. Said sailor quickly swung his arm over the floor, the sigil materialized again an a dagger stuck up like a pike trap.

Crim: (How insidious.)

The shoulders of the sailor kneeling before started to shake, it would seem he was having a hard time containing his laughter. Crim rose a leg and stomped on the ghoulish head until he brought it to the floor before. A flash of light shines under the sailor torso and a dagger pierces him from side to side, causing him to choke on his blood before a swift death. Just as Crim was preparing to get rid of the body and the trail of blood.

Chris: Assistant!

A birthday suit girl walks out of a door nearby, holding a bloody dagger and handful of cards.

Crim: Milady, are you alright?

Chris: Yeah, this guy and his buddy came to check around here all of a sudden, but I managed to set a trap and kill one of them.

Chris led Crim inside the crew quarters to see the fruits of her work. A bloody ghoul was left bleeding the floor. Chris explained how she hid herself under the bed blankets and used the cards to monitor the room. Once her victim got close enough she dices him shut with great expertise, but the twitching and beating on the floor with his last life throes alerted the other sailor that someone was hiding inside. Chris returns the handful of cards to Crim plus a new one with view of the crew quarters.

Crim: I guess this is it for the hunting party.

Chris: Yeah, the prey ate the predator. Serves them right!

Crim: And now all that's left are the thirteenth targets on the main deck.

Chris: Wait, there's still that many people left! We'll never make it in time before the help arrives!

Crim: Eh, not necessarily. We now have complete vigilance of all the decks excluding the main one, and the only ones who could hide and hunt us where all taken out. There's no need to waste mana getting rid of the bodies now, not should it be too difficult to take care of the rest.

Chris: Hu hu hu! Then what's the plan?

Crim: Huas huas huas! Observe.

The phantom slides an arm over the goddess body, they both cackle like villains over the blood of their enemies.

Part 8

Marquis Debuch: HEEELLLP ME BUUUURMESEEEEE!

A dark chain of spikes came out of seemingly nowhere and dragged one of the unsuspecting nobles overboard. Some of the remaining sailors and personal guards of the guest stuck their heads out to see the maquis getting dragged inside one of the cannon ports.

Marquis guard: They've taken him to the gun deck— UAAHHHH!

Cannon balls pierced out of the floor with explosive ferocity, annihilating the last of the guest alive and three of the servants left. Total count of targets down to 8.

Captain: Lord Burmese! We cannot stall for time like this anymore! Allows us to hunt these transgressors!

Having seen the fate of the last hunt party they sent, the survivors on the main deck decided it was best to stick together until rescue arrives. But before the threat of cannon fire from below, and the kidnapping of one of their more important members, the captain of the ship demands the right to begin a new hunting party. Burmese said yes, but he would be staying. And so the remaining seven of the guards and sailors began their descent into hell. Down at the gun deck.

Captain: Search this deck but do not leave it until everything is scrutinized!

He gave the command with a shake of his voice. The cannons had been aimed against them from here. One of the more muscle brain guards from the deceased aristocrats suggested returning the gesture and firing the cannons at the decks below. The captain slapped the fool and told him to jump overboard if he wanted to become a fish meal so much.

Sailor: Cap, I found a trail!

A bloody trail. Someone had dragged a fresh kill down to the stairs leading into the stern castle at the deck below. The captain advances with his cutlass held forward and bends the knee to pick something amongst the bloody trail.

Captain: This feather was part of lord Debuch cap, the fiends must've killed him!

One of the fiends hiding outside the cannon port, nearly falls when her noodle arms had started to go give up, she wished the sailors would hurry and vacate the gun deck already. The sharks below swum starved by the resistance of their meal. The survivors made formation with the captain at the middle and began their descent down the stairs, following the blood trail until they arrived at the kitchen stairs.

Body guard: Ouch!

Ship officer: My foot!

Two survivors stepped onto the poison knives Crim had stuck on the stairs steps. After a minute of crying and puking foam, they went to hell.

Captain: Dammit all! This is all a trap they're luring us into! Everyone go back!

Down to 6 of its members and under a crushed morale, the remaining survivors turned tail and decided they where safer by Burmese side than here. They ran out of the kitchen, leaving their dead compatriots behind and made for the door which separates the sterncastle side from the cannon ports side of the gun deck. Coming in one of the sailors opens the door and it's met with a loaded cannon on the other side.

BOOM!

The captain and two more managed to jump out of the way in time. A cannon ball bursts trough three of the survivors and continues going trough the corridor and later Burmese room until it exits the ship all together.

Captain: They fooled us! Run back! The fiends where behind us all this time!

The captain and his two leftovers soiled and tripped as they spread around. Not knowing better than to stick close under panic. One of them entered the stern chaser room, hoping to just hide himself there. He was pushed from behind, tripped and fell trough the cannon ball hole in the wall, the sharks had been vigilant of that spot since a certain goddess escaped the menu.

Crim: Three more to go.

He observed trough the cards a certain guard hiding in the dinning hall. With a snap of the fingers the Disguise illusion vanishes, revealing the dead body over the table. The guard freaked out so much it never even noticed Crim coming out of the kitchen seconds later and ripping his spine a new one.

Crim: Two more to—

In the forecastle corridor, someone had steeped over the dagger bobby sigil set by one of the thief class sailors. Crim observed the card as the victim tried to pull his feet out of the dagger before foam started coming out of his mouth. Crim had removed the previous victim of the trap, activated Venom Gland to poison the dagger and later Eraser Step to get rid of the blood. His mana had dropped to 5 and the recovery rose it back to 8 after three minutes.

Crim: I guess only one is left now….!

Crim dropped the cards and rushed to the gun deck. In the image of the card, someone had Chris by the hair and was dragging her up to the main deck. As he ran desperately he took out a coin and chanted something under his breath.

Part 9

Burmese: Come out or else the girl dies!

A deep and gruff voice reaches Crim ears. He ran up the stairs and arrived at the main deck at last. It was full of cannon holes and the mainmast had collapsed. Before Crim a hulking frame of a man in plate armor stood. Coming face to face with Burmese other than the old portrait in his room, Crim knew exactly what kind of monster was before him. The retired general skin had become pale and completely deformed, grey hair with sharp teeth, a reflection of his sacrilege of a diet. His height towered over the 8 and a half ft tall, wide arms, a necklace of tennis-sized beads and belly spilling out of his armor plate. He held Chris suspended in the air by her hair.

Burmese: What manner of assassins have my enemies sent after me? Who goes around naked like this?

The general felt immeasurable anger at all the damage cause, but beyond his rage he just felt confused. Crim took a step forward, he met eyes with a struggling Chris and flashed her the coin in his hand. She couldn't nod in return, but she responded with subtle movement of the lips.

Burmese: Was it lord Flamingo? That degenerate always creeped me out with the scandalous way his servants dress… Well no matter, now that you stand before me, your fate is sealed…and so is this girl death.

Burmese launched Chris across the air with great ease and Crim flicked the coin in his hand. Burmese aimed the tip of his nanigata at the falling Chris, who had stretched her arm to something flying her way. Crim draws the dagger and machete on his hip and charges at Burmese with lightning cursing trough his body. Burmese smile crept under the helm, as Chris was right about to land his spear. But then something strange happened, as if she had just caught something, the naked girl became black mist.

Burmese: What sorcery is this… Guhg!

He blocked with his weapon the two slices coming from the charging light. Burmese defied his heavy frame appearance and managed a full 10 ft long back jump, landing with a heavy cry of the main deck. Crim tosses his weapons sticking down on the floor and catches Chris as she materializes out of black mist.

Chris: What took you so long!? I thought I was gonna go bald!

She shouts right by his ear as he puts her down.

Crim: Well we finally meet, lord of this ship.

Burmese: And who might you be, masked assassin? To think you could manage to kill my loyal followers. What bullshit is this?

Chris: You're done Burmese! We know you've been cannibalizing people on this ship! Is only a matter of time before justice is served!

Burmese: Cannibalizing? Is that all you think this is about?

Chris: What do you mean, by that?

She inquired timidly while hiding behind Crim. Burmese rested his spear on the floor and tossed a monocle at the assassins.

Burmese: Why don't you take a look at my stats and see for yourself.

Chris and Crim met eye. The later had only just recovered to 4 of his max mana after the last of his potions had expired. He bent down and picked the monocle, before he takes a better look at his enemy before him.

Burmese

The Bearskin General

Class: Warrior

Level: 53

Vitality: 211

Mana: 21/67

Power: 299

Agility: 122

Spirit: 61

M Power: 40

Intelligence: 14

Luck: 11

Passives

Ghoulish Form

Aging Immortality

The two thieves took their eyes out of the lens from the monocle and Burmese started guffawing.

Burmese: Bwuahahahahahahaha! Yes, you saw that right fools, immortality! Something hit us one day and we all started turning into monsters. The next time I woke I was feasting one of my servants. Then this strange ring began to gleam, and my status said I had become immortal! This ring that grants the powers of what you eat, of course a human eating another human would only improve my life even more!

Chris: You idiot! Can't you see eating humans is a taboo that slowly turns you into a ghoul!?

Burmese: But I can't help it, I have grown rather fond of the taste of human flesh.

Chris: Of course you would! You long went past the point of no return, now you crave what you should have never done to begin with!

Burmese: Bwuahahahha! And who cares! I deserve a reward for my years of arduous service to the kingdom. Don't you think?

Chris: Not like this! You fight to protect your country and the people who live in it! Their safety should be your first and foremost reward! What your doing here is just twisted! Turning into a menace of the very people you oath to protect!

Crim hushed Chris to run and hide, Burmese wasn't paying attention to her scorns. Talking to him felt just pointless. The goddess went back to the stairs leading into the gun deck and stuck only her angry visage out like a mole.

Chris: Send that corrupt monster to hell where he belongs assistant!

Crim began to crack his knuckles. His mana still wasn't going higher than 4, the potion effect had left it no higher. He kneeled and stretched his arms for the weapons stuck on floor.

Burmese: Are you intent on facing me head on assassin? Weren't you paying attention to my stats before? Do you even know who I am?

Crim: Not much, really. But do you know who I am?

Burmese: Yes, today's supper!

Burmese reached for his beaded necklace and crushed one of the balls. He aimed a fistful at Crim and chanted.

Burmese: [Scatter Blast]

A light flashing out his glove hand and fired dozens of bullet-like shots where Crim stood just a second ago. The phantom dodged right as he saw Burmese aiming at him.

Crim: (That spear and the shotgun-like skill from before, so it was him.)

He had remained cautious of that skill ever since, and it paid off. But the ghoulish general soon gave a snap of his fingers

Burmese: You didn't seriously think I just invited you here for no reason, didn't you?

Dozens of lights flashed on the floor, turning into bear traps-like metal jaws. Crim before landing sunk the machete on the floor and stepped atop its guard, keeping balance as the entire floor area around him was flooding with traps triggering one after the other. Burmese frowned with slight annoyance.

Burmese: Hmm… It would seem you won't be as easy as my usual enemies.

Crim: (He probably doesn't even realizes when he showed us his stats, I could see he already had spent 2/3 of his mana. Of course a trap was afoot.)

Crim jumped from the guard of the machete and atop the collapsed mainmast. The Jaws Trap spell generated several new sets each and every second for 1/6 of a minute before it all settled down and Crim was able to get down. Burmese rose his spear.

Burmese: We'll do this the old way then.

The phantom flipped the dagger in reverse grip, then backed a step or two.

Crim: Ew, did you wet yourself or something?

Burmese: OF COURSE NOT! My armor smelled like piss when I put it on is just that!

The ghoulish general wished his janitor hadn't died so he could kill him himself.

Burmese: Now face me assassin!

In speeds that defied his hulking frame, Burmese charged at Crim and brought down his spear where the thief once stood. Crim sidesteps it with ease and later jumps over the next attack. Burmese followed crushing one more of his necklace beads and firing a shotgun blast at the thief. Crim avoided it by jumping down one of the holes left by the cannon fire before.

Burmese: [Scatter Blast]

The main deck floor was bathed under a bullet storm. Crim danced trough each and every one of the shots. A skill with a random hitbox can't compete with a luck stat of 192. Whiteout a clear line of sight Burmese was only hoping to beat Crim at getting lucky.

Chris: You can do it assistant! Swim like a dolphin and sting like a bee! His cunning tricks are no match for your despicable methods! Show him whose the biggest sinner around here and shank that grease ball— Eeek! My butt!

Someone groped Chris to make her shut up, then that someone returned to the battlefield.

Burmese: Face me you slippery scoundrel!

Crim returns to the main deck on the plain power of his jump alone and began to circle around Burmese.

Chris: Trounce him good! Use the skills I thought you— at least use the chain, do something you heathen!

To the annoyance of Chris and the confusion of the ghoul, Crim wasn't even trying to attack. He was holding a dagger and even then the lightning curse wasn't flashing on.

Burmese: If that's how you want to play, then we'll see if your speed can compete with mine!

The general stomped on the floor and charges full speed after Crim. The phantom dodged a vertical swing of the spear and then a thrust. His back jump had took him out of the general furious strikes.

Burmese: I have you know!

But Burmese speed was greater, and he caught up to Crim almost instantly, bringing down the blade end or his spear on the airborne thief. The spear impacted on the right of the phantom who rose it to block the attack before he was sent tumbling trough the main deck.

Chris: Assistant!

Shouted alarmed the goddess as she watched her apprentice stand up with his right sleeve torn.

Crim: I'm fine milady, pain of the light breeze, chain that doesn't conduct anything remember?

It would seem he was unbothered by the blow, but someone else had enough.

Burmese: Fight me you coward! How dare you challenge me and then spend the entire fight running away whiteout even closing in for a strike…!? Do you seriously think you can tire me out like this? I'll have you know despite my age and looks my stamina is 17.5 times the standard! I can do this all day and I won't even break a sweat!

Chris: Use the chain you heathen! Why are you jumping and running all over the place like some sort of rabbit? The help is gonna get here and we're gonna get caught!

Crim felt his mana finally rise to 5 and sheaths his dagger.

Burmese: Oh I see, you don't really use that toothpick to fight. Your real weapon is something you've been saving on, right?

A hint of excitement overcomes the general visage but Crim quickly shuts it off.

Crim: Not really, my real weapon is not something I would need to use here, I was just waiting for my mana to recharge.

Burmese: W-what!? Your mana you say?

Crim: Yeah, funny thing is that I ran one point short for what I needed to win, and it just takes a half and hour for me to recover a mana point on my own.

A dark aura began to gather around of Crim left arm, and he aimed it at the general.

Burmese: Bring it! My level is too high for a stinking luck based spell and I mastered my aura before I even enlisted with the kingdom!

The ghoulish general aura inwarded in preparation for an Alpha type spell. He knew all too well what kind of magic the cowards who hide in the shadows use.

Crim: Now that I think of it, you showed us your level before, but never once bothered about what mine was.

Burmese: Like I need to care about a weakling!

Crim: That so? This spell cannot be resisted by anyone tenth levels under me.

Burmese heart stopped for a moment. Cold sweat had began to run down his frown. The man before him, didn't sound like he was joking, and then the black aura around his arm shot for.

Crim: [Purgatorio]

Burmese braised for what was coming, but it was still not enough to save him. His hands went limp, his spear fell with a plain thud of the floor. Eyes lifeless he looked at the cloudy sky. Before him the phantom spoke.

Crim: A spell to make everyone your best friend. A spell to make everyone your most hated foe. And finally a spell for…

Chris couldn't believe her eyes, before her the ghoulish general brought his hand inside his mouth, and chomped. Severing fingers and causing blood to gush out like a fountain.

Crim: Making yourself, your worse enemy.

Burmese had began to walk lifeless for the edge of the ship. Whiteout even bothering to look down he jumped overboard, falling to the water below, where he continues to chomp on his hand. The blood caught the attention of the sharks around.

Crim: A victim of Purgatorio will stop at nothing to die in the slowest, most horrible way they can think. Is a monument to how much the spell can make one loathe himself.

Part 9

Chris walked up to Crim holding her hands next to her bosom.

Chris: Assistant you, are you alright…? Is just that spell is…

Crim:… Don't sweat it, I just rather not use the chain for no reason. And he was stronger than me any other way in direct combat.

Chris: Is that so…that's a relief…. Huh?

Chris walked away from Crim and bent down to pick something. It was a dry looking severed finger, but stuck on it was something they been looking for.

Chris: The Ring of Assimilation! Is here, we found it!

Crim: Then that's a wrap. Everyone here paid and if some where absent then the evidence will do the rest for us. Let's get out of here before the guards show up.

Chris: Get out of here? You're not implying we jump down that shark infested water with your mana at absolute zero, are you…? Nope, no way! One of those creatures was looking at me very funny back when I fell after we got separated, and like heck I'm getting eaten after all this nonsense!

Crim: That so? Is just water you know, believe in your beloved senior protection.

Chris: I might like her very much but nothing good ever comes out of believing in her and you know it!

In the end Crim was forced to beach the Feasting Maiden using the chain winds on the sails since the steering wheel was broken. The part time assassins returned home safely and exhausted that day. They had a long rest waiting for them at home.

Part 10

Somewhere inside a robot factory, one of the terminals flashed and a muscular man in white walked out in quick stride. He was greeted by an anthropomorphic jackal like robot.

Alpha: Welcome home, lord Shirtpecs.

The entity followed after the man responsible for his awakening. They soon arrived at panel projecting the view of a gelid mountain. A mountain where a half castle laid collapsed.

Shirtpecs: Is only a matter of time now before he bites. All preparations are ready, and our friend the Duke of Hell succeeded in recruiting the vampires.

Under a greenish light— that of an Aurora Borealis, the castle was enveloped and emerged at the zenith of its age. Long towers of black brick piercing the clouds and bridges connecting each and every tower to the main citadel. Sky painted in black by the tenths of thousands winged creatures.

Shirtpecs: You are the last resort, I've told you many times before. Control your impulses, unless you intend to defy the man who woke you up from your slumber.

Interference could be felt in the air, rather than inside a monitor like it was normal. Shirtpecs never even bothered to look behind him, even when it could be said the very air was glitching. But it soon calmed down, to the relief of Shirtpecs himself. Before him the monitor closed in on the vampire infested castle. The view went for a balcony, one situated at the fifth of the six towers surround the citadel. A pale young girl of golden hair stood there. Then the green Aurora Borealis returns, and the castle was looking back to it's lifeless, halfway collapsed state with no a soul in sight. Sans a strange guy in tuxedo with a floating mirror by his side.