Chapter 37: Cookie Chaos

Jane: June Present Day

Jane rolled over in her sleep, and even in her half-asleep state, she registered the empty space next to her. She eyes flew open instantly, and she looked around the room. Just before her panic could sit in, she saw the piece of paper sitting on the pillow next to her.

J~
Just in case you wake up, I don't want you to worry if you noticed I was gone. I couldn't sleep, but I promise I'm fine. I'll be back up soon.
I love you!
~M ❤

Jane smiled to herself. She appreciated Maura's thoughtfulness. There was still some part of her that thought she was going to wake up and realize that Maura's return was all a dream. She still panicked whenever she didn't know where Maura was. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she also knew that it wasn't likely to change soon.

Jane swung her legs over the side of the bed, pulling the blanket over her shoulders as she stuffed her feet into her slippers. She quietly walked downstairs to find Maura, but everything was quiet. She looked around until she noticed that the back door was unlocked. She had a pretty good idea where to find Maura. Jane made her way across the backyard.

She noticed Maura just before Maura noticed her. Maura was sitting on the bench with her legs pulled up to her chest. Her arms were resting on her knees and her head was resting on her arms as she stared at the koi pond. When she turned and smiled at Jane, Jane's heart jumped into her throat. Maura looked so beautiful under the moonlight. Jane could have sworn that Maura's beauty was lighting up the entire area. The moonlight sparkled off her eyes, making them look golden among the darkness surrounding her.

"Hey," Jane whispered as she moved to sit next to Maura on the bench. She wrapped the blanket around both of them, and Maura instantly melted into her side, slipping her arms around Jane's waist.

"Hey," Maura returned quietly. "I'm sorry if I worried you."

"It's okay," Jane said. "I appreciated that you left a note. Are you okay, though?"

"I'm wonderful," Maura replied, and despite the fact that Maura's answer surprised her, Jane could hear the genuine happiness in her voice. "I know that's not the answer you were expecting, but I'm just really happy. I couldn't stop thinking about this place, and I wanted to see it again. It's really beautiful, Jane. I just…I can't believe how much you did to remember me. It means so much more to me than you know."

"I really missed you," Jane admitted. "I think I would have gone crazy if I didn't keep you a part of our lives, even if it was just in a roundabout way. It was also really important to me that Emma and Finn not only knew you but knew how important you were to me – to all of us." Jane rested her cheek against the top of Maura's head as they just enjoyed each other's company.

"I think that's why I told Sophie so much about you, too. It was a way to keep you a part of our lives," Maura whispered. "You were all she talked about the entire trip to Boston. She was so excited to meet you." Maura paused and let out a light laugh. "Except, eventually, my own anxiety started to affect her," Maura said quietly, and Jane could hear the guilt in her voice. "The morning before we came to see you, she emptied her entire suitcase and started crying that she didn't know what to wear. She was so worried that you wouldn't like her."

"Why did she think I wouldn't like her?" Jane asked gently.

"She picked up on my anxiety," Maura admitted. "I felt terrible about it. I was so nervous about how you would react to seeing me again. I knew that even if you were angry or upset that you would never take it out on her. I knew that you would love her and treat her well no matter what, and I told her that. Her response was, 'but she's your best friend, and you're worried.' I hated that I let my own fears affect her so much. Honestly, that's a pretty good description of her entire life."

"Maura, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You have given Sophie a wonderful life. She's a happy, healthy kid. She has always had you, and you are a wonderful mother. She's an incredibly lucky kid."

"But she didn't have anyone else."

"At her age, you were the person she needed. You would have figured out the rest as she got older," Jane said.

"Maybe," Maura replied, but Jane could tell that she didn't really believe her. "I was so afraid to get close to anyone."

"But she would have had friends at school – and teachers," Jane tried to assure her. "I truly believe that even if it had just been the two of you for her entire life, she would have thrived, and she would have been happy. But it doesn't matter now because you're home; you're both home. She gets to grow up with her sisters and with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents."

"And her mama," Maura added with a smile. She lifted her head from its place on Jane's shoulder to give Jane a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I think at some point this summer, we should get some plants or something that Sophie can add to this area. Maybe we could even figure out something that all four of them could do together to make this space all of ours," Jane said.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. I remember seeing in movies when families would move into a new house, they would somehow put the kids' handprints and initials somewhere – like in the newly poured sidewalk – something that would last a long time. I always loved that. I liked the personal touch that made the house feel like a home, instead of the impersonal perfection of all the houses I grew up in."

"I love that idea," Jane replied.

They fell into a comfortable silence until Maura eventually suggested, "Maybe we should go back to bed. We both have fun days planned for tomorrow."

"Yeah, probably," Jane said reluctantly. She knew Maura was right, but she loved sitting and enjoying the calm, beautiful night with Maura.

It ended up being a good thing that they went to bed when they did because two excited three-year-olds burst into their room early the next morning. Very much like the first morning they all woke up together, Harper and Sophie came running into the room fully awake and excited to start the day. Finn and Emma followed them in a little more slowly. Finn helped her younger sisters onto the bed while a still sleepy Emma crawled into Jane's lap. Harper shoved herself between Jane and Maura while Sophie curled into Maura's lap and Finn cuddled into Jane's other side.

"Are you guys excited to bake cookies today?" Maura asked Sophie and Harper.

"YEEESSSS!" Harper shouted, throwing her hands in the air. Sophie giggled at her sister and nodded in response to her mother's question.

"I'm so excited to go to the science museum with Emma and Finn," Maura said with a smile as she reached out to rub Emma's back. Jane could tell that she was avoiding asking Emma and Finn if they were excited.

"We should get ready so that you guys can get there right when it opens," Jane suggested.

"Will you help us?" Finn asked quietly, and Jane agreed.

Maura went to help Sophie and Harper get ready while Jane followed Emma and Finn to their room.

Emma started to look through their closet for something to wear, but Finn sat on her bed and crossed her arms in front of her.

"What's up, bug?" Jane asked gently as she sat down next to the little girl.

"I don't wanna go," she pouted.

"But you love the science museum," Jane reminded her.

"I want you to come, too," she whined.

"I really think you'll have fun with mommy." Jane sighed as Finn continued to pout on her bed. "Okay, for now, why don't we just get you guys dressed and ready for the day?"

"'Kay," Finn said reluctantly as she slid off her bed and dragged her feet on her way to the closet. Despite her protests, Finn spent a lot of time picking her outfit, which told Jane that at least part of her was looking forward to today.

Finn didn't say anything else about whether or not she wanted to go as they got ready for the day and ate breakfast as a family. However, when it was time to get in the car, Finn hesitated to get off the couch.

"Come're, bug," Jane said gently as she picked Finn up and carried her into the other room so that they could talk privately. When they sat down together, Jane continued, "Finn, baby, we're not going to make you go today, but I really think that if you give it a chance, you'll have fun. You and Emma both love the museum and so does mommy. Mommy knows lots of things about science, and I'm sure she will be able to tell you a bunch of new things that you don't know. I also think she'll love to hear all of the things you and Emma know about the different exhibits. You love showing people your favorite exhibits."

Finn tilted her head in consideration. "Can I call you if I want to come home?" she eventually asked.

"Yes, sweetie, you can always call me, okay?"

Finn took a deep breath. "Okay," she finally said. Jane gave her a kiss before they returned to the kitchen where Maura and the other girls were waiting.

Finn remained silent, but she got in the car without a fight. After seeing Maura, Emma, and Finn out, Jane returned to the kitchen where Harper and Sophie were waiting.

"Okay, who's ready to make cookies?!" she asked excitedly.

"Me! Me! Me!" they both shouted as they jumped up and down with a hand in the air.

Jane laughed. "Alright, come on!" she said, waving them towards the kitchen. She helped them put on their kids-sized aprons before they both climbed up on the kids' kitchen helper stool. Jane liked this stool because the kids could easily climb up and down, but there was a bit of a railing that kept them from falling off. This was definitely helpful when more than one kid climbed on the stool – they had a tendency to playfully push each other without thinking through the consequences.

Jane had set up all the ingredients while Maura was showering and the kids were watching TV this morning. She gave Sophie and Harper each their own bowl and mixing spoon. She would measure out each ingredient before letting the kids pour them into their own bowls. The kids had a blast, but more often than not, half the ingredients ended up on the counter, the kids themselves, or the floor.

"Don't stick your fingers in it!" Jane said as Harper ran her finger through her dough and licked it off her finger, but Jane's laughter took the edge off her words. Harper flashed her a mischievous smile before sticking her finger into the dough for another taste. Sophie instantly copied her sister. Both of them were giggling hysterically, causing Jane to laugh along with them. "Fine, but you have to let me taste some, too," she said as she stuck her own finger into the dough. These cookies would just have to stay in the family. Jane's antics caused Sophie and Harper to laugh even harder.

Jane quickly wrapped their dough in plastic wrap and stuck it in the fridge to set. While it was setting, they moved on to making the frosting.

"Alright, what colors do you wanna make?" Jane asked.

"Purple!" Sophie said instantly.

"Yeah, and pink and green and…and…and yewwow," Harper added as her excitement started to bubble over.

"And blue!" Sophie continued.

Jane laughed. "Okay, I'll split the frosting into bowls; then, you guys can mix in the colors. Sophie, you can do the purple first," she said as she handed Sophie the first bowl that she had added blue and red food coloring to. "And Harper, you can do green first," she added.

"Mmm, tastes good!" Sophie said with a smirk as she licked her finger clean of the frosting she had just mixed.

Jane shook her head as she just laughed. She was sure that both girls were going to have stomach aches by nap time. After the colors were mixed into the frosting, she held open the plastic baggies while the girls scooped the frosting into them. Once all of the bags of frosting were in the fridge, she pulled out the dough. "Okay, I'll roll out the dough and you guys can use the cookie cutters. Sound good?" she said, but the girls weren't listening as they played with the leftover sugar and flour on the counter.

Jane took advantage of their distraction to roll out some of the dough. Once it was flat, she carefully shifted it in front of them.

"What shapes do you have?" Sophie asked as Harper dug through the cookie cutters that Jane had gotten out earlier.

"A flower, a bunny, a circle, a snowflake, a person, a tortoise, a heart, Mickey, a star, a shark…" Harper continued to name each shape as she handed them one by one to Sophie.

The girls continued to giggle as they haphazardly cut shapes in the dough. Since they didn't really know or care to try to fit them close together, Jane had to re-roll the dough over and over. She knew it was getting dry, but she didn't care because the girls were having so much fun.

As they finished the last of the dough, Jane looked at the girls. They were both covered in flour and other ingredients. She briefly considered giving them a bath now, but she knew they'd just get messy again once they started frosting the cookies.

"Uh, why don't you guys come down from there so that I can clean you up a bit. We can have lunch while the cookies are baking and cooling. Then, after lunch, you can decorate the cookies, but you're getting a bath before your naps," Jane said. Jane washed them the best she could before making them sit at the table in an attempt to keep them from getting messy again in the kitchen while she was making lunch. They had a simple but healthy lunch of leftover chicken, strawberries, and cucumbers. She figured they were having so much sugar making and eating the cookies that they should have something healthy for lunch.

"Decorating time!" Jane said as they finished their lunch. "Let's wash your hands before we start, though."

Jane set them both up with a plate that had small amounts of each color of frosting. They also had a few different kinds of sprinkles. She let them go to town decorating the cookies however they wanted to as she continued to refill their frosting and replace the finished cookies with fresh ones to donate. She didn't realize that she had left the bags of remaining frosting within the kids reach until she heard a burst of giggles while she took the next batch of cookies out of the oven.

She turned around to find Harper emptying the bag of purple frosting onto a hysterically giggling Sophie's head. Before Jane could react, Sophie grabbed the pink frosting and squirted it all over Harper's face. Jane knew she should stop this, but instead, she grabbed her phone and started taking a video as they continued covering each other in frosting and sprinkles.

"You're a cupcake!" Sophie gasped out through her laughter.

"You're a cake!" Harper added.

They were completely oblivious to Jane watching and videoing them, and they were having so much fun that Jane didn't have the heart to stop them. When they had pretty much depleted the remaining frosting, Jane interjected, "Picture time!"

They turned to look at Jane with huge smiles on their faces. Harper wrapped her arm around Sophie's shoulder and Sophie slipped her arm around Harper's waist. Jane took a ton of pictures, including a number of candid ones once Harper and Sophie's attention returned to each other instead of Jane.

"You guys can keep playing, but stay there, okay, so that you don't get it anywhere else? I'm going to start the bath."

"'Kay," Harper said distractedly.

Jane shook her head and rolled her eyes as she laughed at them. She quickly ran upstairs to start the bath. When she got back down, she decided it probably wasn't a good idea to try to get them upstairs in their current state, so she removed their clothes. This removed at least some of the frosting, but they were still covered. "Okay, I'm just going to carry you guys," she said as she picked them both up and lifted them over her shoulders. They continued to giggle and laugh as Jane carried them upstairs and placed them directly into the bathtub. She took off her own shirt and threw it into the sink since it too was now covered in frosting and sprinkles.

Luckily, the sugar-based frosting came off relatively easily in the bath – although, she did have to replace the water once when it clearly became too messy from the sugar and food coloring, but the girls didn't seem to mind as they continued to play in the water.

It wasn't until she started to wash their hair that she realized her mistake. The frosting itself came out easily, but the food coloring had stained some of Sophie's blonde hair. Since Emma, Finn, and Harper had dark hair, she didn't even realize this is possible. Oh, Maura's going to kill me, she thought as she tried to rinse it clean. She knew it would come out eventually, but she still felt bad about it.

The girls had tired themselves out by the time they finished their bath, so once Jane had promised that they could try the cookies when they woke up, they went down for their naps pretty easily.

Jane returned to the disaster of a kitchen. There was frosting, sprinkles, flour, and sugar everywhere. She took a few pictures before she started cleaning. It took quite a while to clean up, and by the time she was done, she was completely sticky. She threw the kids clothes and her own in the laundry before she went upstairs to take a shower.

During her shower, she couldn't help but think that today had been a success with Harper and Sophie, and she only hoped that Maura, Emma, and Finn were having an equally fun time at the museum.