Thank you all for the support and understanding of what's been going on for me for the past few months. After all, having to take care of both of your parents for a few months is quite a handful. I'll write as frequently as I can. After all, the way I see it, I have a lot of writing to catch up on.

I Wrestle Santa's Evil Twin

Percy's POV

"Alright, where do you guys want to land?" Hank asked, waking me up from a nap.

I looked down. I'd seen San Francisco in pictures before, but never in real life. It was a beautiful city truth be told, kinda like a smaller, cleaner, Manhattan, if Manhattan had been surrounded by green hills and fog. There was a huge bay with ships, islands, and sailboats, and the Golden Gate Bridge sticking up out of the fog.

'Greetings from Frisco. Haven't died yet. Wish you were here'. I thought to myself sarcastically.

"There. By the Embarcadero Building." Zoe suggested.

"Good thinking. Me and Hank can blend in with the pigeons." Chuck said.

We all looked at him.

"Kidding! Sheesh, can't statues have a sense of humor?" Chuck went on.

As it turned out, there wasn't much need to blend in. It was early morning and not many people were around. We freaked out a homeless guy on the ferry dock when we landed. He screamed when he saw Hank and Chuck and ran off yelling something about metal angels from Mars. We said our goodbyes to the angels, who flew off to party with their statue friends. That's when I realized I had no idea what we were going to do next. And that pretty much put me back to square one, being irritated about all of this shit.

We'd made it to the West Coast but didn't know where to go from here. Artemis was here somewhere, but we had no idea where or who was holding her captive. And tomorrow was the winter solstice. Nor did I have any clue what monster Artemis had been hunting. It was supposed to find us on the quest. It was supposed to "show the trail", but it never had. Not to me at least. Now we were stuck on the ferry dock with not much money, no friends (especially me), and no luck. After a brief discussion, we agreed that we needed to figure out just what this mystery monster was.

"We need to find this monster." Thalia said.

"How?" I asked.

"Nereus." Grover said.

"What?" I looked at him.

"Isn't that what Apollo told you to do? Find Nereus?" Grover asked.

"Oh, right. Find the old man of the sea and force him to tell us what he knows. But how am I supposed to find someone I've never seen?" I went on.

"Old Nereus, eh?" Zoe made a face.

"You know him?" Annabeth asked.

"My mother was a sea goddess. Yes, I know him. Unfortunately, he is never very hard to find. Just follow the smell. Come, I will show thee." Zoe said without enthusiasm.

"I hate this already." I commented.

Five minutes later when we stopped at the Goodwill dropbox, Zoe had me outfitted in a ragged flannel shirt and jeans three sizes too big, bright red sneakers, and a floppy rainbow hat.

"Oh, yeah, you look completely inconspicuous now." Grover said, trying not to bust out laughing.

I made a mental note to not let him live down wearing a dress for Polyphemus a few months ago.

"A typical male vagrant." Zoe nodded with satisfaction.

"Fuck you." I commented.

"Oh come on Percy, it ain't that bad." Annabeth offered.

"Go to hell Annabeth." I commented.

Zoe led the way back down to the waterfront. After a long time spent searching the docks, Zoe finally stopped in her tracks. She pointed down a pier where a bunch of homeless guys were huddled together in blankets, waiting for the soup kitchen to open for lunch. The whole time I was using so much of my willpower not throttling anyone around me.

"He will be down there somewhere," Zoe said. "He never travels very far from the water. He likes to sun himself during the day. Sneak up on him. Act homeless. You will know him. He will smell . . . different. Grab him and hold on. He will try anything to get rid of thee. Whatever he does, do not let go. Force him to tell thee about the monster." Zoe explained.

I just sighed in irritation.

"Don't worry Percy. We've got your back." Thalia said as she picked something off the back of my shirt, a big clump of fuzz that came from who-knows-where.

"Eww. On second thought . . . I don't want your back. But we'll be rooting for you." Thalia corrected.

"I will drown you." I said, showing how irritated I was, and how I was getting even more irritated by all of this.

"Ah come on Percy, it could be worse. Clarisse could take a picture of you right now and have it go viral." Annabeth tried to calm me down.

The only thing she succeeded in doing was reminding me of why I didn't want to be here in the first place and but at the same time, was the only reason as to why I was even here altogether anyways. I was clenching my fists so badly; I was fairly certain there was gonna be blood dripping from them in a few seconds.

"Better get moving, Kelp Head." Thalia threw at me.

At that point, I was pretty much at my breaking point.

"Any one of you utters one more goddamn word, I will get an anchor for each of you, crucify you on them, and throw all of your useless asses in the ocean and let you drown underwater like the conniving fuckwits you really are!" I exclaimed, getting sick and tired of them even more than before.

They were all smart enough to keep their mouths shut at that. One of my personal favorite traits I picked up from Ares was making pretty deadly threats. Getting them to finally shut up, I headed toward the dock. I pulled my hat down and stumbled like I was about to pass out. I passed our homeless friend from the Embarcadero, who was still trying to warn the other guys about the metal angels from Mars. He didn't smell good, but he didn't smell different. I kept walking. A couple of grimy dudes with plastic grocery bags for hats checked me out as I came close.

"Beat it, kid!" One of them muttered.

"Try me, I dare you mother fucker." I threatened.

They backed away slowly at that. Smart. They smelled pretty bad, but just regular old bad. Nothing unusual. There was a lady with a bunch of plastic flamingos sticking out of a shopping cart. She glared at me like I was going to steal her birds, which got me to glare just as strongly back, which she got the message of not to mess with me and just moved away. At the end of the pier, a guy who looked about a million years old was passed out in a patch of sunlight. He wore pajamas and a fuzzy bathrobe that probably used to be white. He was fat, with a white beard that had turned yellow, kind of like Santa Claus, if Santa had been rolled out of bed and dragged through a landfill. And his smell? As I got closer, I froze. He smelled bad, all right, but ocean bad. Like hot seaweed and dead fish and brine. If the ocean had an ugly side, this guy was it. Give or take my father, maybe. I tried not to gag as I sat down near him like I was tired. Santa opened one eye suspiciously. I could feel him staring at me, but I didn't look. I muttered something about stupid friends and stupid cities, figuring that might sound reasonable. Santa just went back to sleep. I tensed, having a pretty good feeling this was who I was looking for. I knew this was going to look strange. I didn't know how the other homeless people would react. But I jumped Santa Claus.

"Ahhhhh!" Santa screamed.

I meant to grab him, but he seemed to grab me instead. It was as if he'd never been asleep at all. He certainly didn't act like a weak old man. He had a grip like steel.

"Help me!" Santa screamed as he squeezed me to death.

"That's a crime! Kid rolling an old man like that!" One of the other homeless guys yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled as I rolled straight down the pier until my head slammed into a post.

I was dazed for a second, and Nereus's grip slackened. He was making a break for it. Before he could, I regained my senses and tackled him from behind.

"I don't have any money!" Nereus tried to get up and run, but I locked my arms around his chest.

His rotten fish smell was awful, but I held on.

"I'm a half-blood! I don't want money, I want information." I said as he fought.

That just made him struggle harder.

"Heroes! Why do you always pick on me?" Nereus complained.

"Because you know everything!" I retorted.

He growled and tried to shake me off his back. It was like holding on to a roller coaster. He thrashed around, making it impossible for me to keep on my feet, but I gritted my teeth and squeezed tighter. We staggered toward the edge of the pier and I got an idea.

"Oh, no! Not the water!" I said.

The plan worked. Immediately, Nereus yelled in triumph and jumped off the edge. Together, we plunged into San Francisco Bay. But was surprised when I tightened my grip, the ocean filling me with extra strength. But Nereus had a few tricks left, too. He changed shape until I was holding a sleek black seal. I've heard people make jokes about trying to hold a greased pig, but I'm telling you, holding on to a seal in the water is harder. Nereus plunged straight down, wriggling and thrashing and spiraling through the dark water. If I wasn't Poseidon's son, there's no way I could've stayed with him. Nereus spun and expanded, turning into a killer whale, but I grabbed his dorsal fin as he burst out of the water. A whole bunch of tourists who saw us went "Whoa!". I managed to wave at the crowd. Yeah, we do this every day here in San Francisco. Nereus plunged into the water and turned into a slimy eel. I started to tie him into a knot until he realized what was going on and changed back to human form.

"Why won't you drown?" Nereus wailed, pummeling me with his fists.

"I'm Poseidon's son." I answered.

"Curse that upstart! I was here first!" Nereus exclaimed.

Finally, he collapsed on the edge of the boat dock. Above us was one of those tourist piers lined with shops, like a mall on water. Nereus was heaving and gasping.

"I can do this all day if I have to." I said.

The others ran down the steps from the pier.

"You got him!" Zoe said.

"Don't sound so amazed." I said.

"Oh, wonderful. An audience for my humiliation! The normal deal, I suppose? You'll let me go if I answer your question?" Nereus moaned.

"The sooner, the better for the both of us." I answered.

"Fine." Nereus grumbled.

"All right. Where is this terrible monster that could bring an end to the gods, the one Artemis was hunting?" I asked.

"Oh, that's too easy. He's right there." Nereus said evilly with a smiled, showing off his mossy green teeth as he pointed to the water at my feet.

"Where?" Annabeth asked.

"The deal is complete!" Nereus gloated.

With a pop, he turned into a goldfish and did a backflip into the sea.

"He tricked us!" Grover yelled.

"Wait! What is that?" Thalia asked wide eyed.

"MOOOOOOOO!" We heard.

I looked down, and there was my friend the cow serpent, swimming next to the dock. She nudged my shoe and gave me the sad brown eyes.

"Ah, Bessie. Not now girl." I said.

"Mooo!" Bessie went.

"He says his name isn't Bessie." Grover gasped.

"You can understand it?" Annabeth asked.

"It's a very old form of animal speech. But he says his name is the Ophiotaurus." Grover nodded.

"But what's it doing here?" Thalia asked.

"Moooooooo!" Bessie went. (Yeah, I'm still gonna call him Bessie. It's much easier that way.)

"He says Percy is his protector, and he's running from the bad people who are close." Grover announced.

"Wait, you know this cow?" Zoe asked, looking at me.

"I met him at the Hoover Dam." I answered through a sigh.

"And you didn't mention this before?" Thalia asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I fail to see how it's any of anyone else's goddamn business." I countered.

"I am a fool. I know this story. From the War of the Titans. My . . . My father told me this tale, thousands of years ago. This is the beast we are looking for." Zoe said.

"Bessie?" I looked down at the bull serpent.

"We've been anticipating a huge dangerous monster, but the Ophiotaurus does not bring down the gods that way. He must be sacrificed." Zoe said.

"MMMM," Bessie lowed.

"I don't think he likes the S-word," Grover said.

I patted Bessie on the head, trying to calm him down. He let me scratch his ear, but he was trembling. But that didn't stop him from moving up so he could lean his head against my chest.

"There is power in killing innocence. Terrible power. The Fates ordained a prophecy eons ago, when this creature was born. They said that whoever killed the Ophiotaurus and sacrificed its entrails to fire would have the power to destroy the gods." Zoe explained.

"MMMMMM!" Bessie went, trying to hide himself more in my embrace.

"Um, maybe we could avoid talking about entrails too." Grover said.

Thalia and Annabeth stared at the cow serpent with wonder.

"The power to destroy the gods, . . . how? I mean, what would happen?" Annabeth asked.

"No one knows. The first time, during the Titan war, the Ophiotaurus was in fact slain by a giant ally of the Titans, but Zeus sent an eagle to snatch the entrails away before they could be tossed into the fire. It was a close call. Now, after three thousand years, the Ophiotaurus is reborn." Zoe answered.

Thalia sat down next to us. She stretched out her and placed her hand on his head. Bessie shivered.

"Luke wouldn't hesitate. The power to overthrow Olympus. That's . . . That's huge." Thalia muttered.

"Yes, it is, my dear. And it is a power you shall unleash." A man's voice with a heavy French accent said. "

The Ophiotaurus made a whimpering sound and submerged. I looked up. We'd been so busy talking, we'd allowed ourselves to be ambushed. Standing behind us, his two-color eyes gleaming wickedly, was Dr. Thorn, the manticore himself.

'Doesn't anything ever stay dead anymore?' I thought to myself.

"This is just perfect." Dr. Thorn gloated.

He was wearing a ratty black trench coat over his Westover Hall uniform, which was torn and stained. His military haircut had grown out spiky and greasy. He hadn't shaved recently, so his face was covered in silver stubble. Basically, he didn't look much better than the guys down at the soup kitchen. And the mere sight of him had my anger rising yet again. If people could blow up from stress and frustration, I'm pretty sure I'd be at that point right now.

"Long ago, the gods banished me to Persia. I was forced to scrounge for food on the edges of the world, hiding in forests, devouring insignificant human farmers for my meals. I never got to fight any great heroes. I was not feared and admired in the old stories! But now that will change. The Titans shall honor me, and I shall feast on the flesh of half-bloods!" Dr. Thorn said.

On either side of him stood two-armed security guys. No doubt they were most likely more monsters disguised as humans like the manticore. Two more stood on the next boat dock over just in case we tried to escape that way. There were tourists all around, walking down the waterfront, shopping at the pier above us, but I knew that wouldn't stop the manticore from acting.

"Where . . . Where are the skeletons?" Thalia asked the manticore.

"I do not need those foolish undead! The General thinks I am worthless? He will change his mind when I defeat you myself!" Dr. Thorn sneered.

"We've beaten you before." Annabeth said.

"Ha! You could barely fight me with a goddess on your side. And alas, that goddess is preoccupied at the moment. There will be no help for you now." Dr. Thorn retorted.

Zoe notched an arrow and aimed it straight at the manticore's head. The guards on either side of us raised their guns.

"Zoe, don't!" Grover said.

"The Satyr is right, Zoe Nightshade. Put away your bow. It would be a shame to kill you before you witnessed our great victory, to sacrifice the Ophiotaurus and bring its entrails to the sacred fire on the mountain. To gain unlimited power. And overthrow Olympus." Dr. Thorn explained.

Funny he should mention fire, because I felt a lot of fuel being added to my rage's fire.

"The Olympians care nothing for any of you. Your friend Luke and many others recognized it. Now the time has come for the Olympians to be overthrown by their children. You shall rule this world under the auspices of the Titans. You shall gain power over the gods. Crush the Olympians underfoot, as they deserve. It is inevitable. You of all people should know this the best, Percy Jackson." Dr. Thorn said.

Before anything else could be said by anyone, everyone noticed that I was starting to faintly, but surely, glow. The more the manticore kept talking about Bessie, the more I couldn't help but think of when I held him at the Hoover Dam, how he helped me feel ready to hold my unborn baby in my arms, and how he wanted me to take care of him. And the fact that someone wanted to sacrifice Bessie for destroying Olympus made it so I just couldn't feel anything else than the powerful desire to get rid of these fuckers once and for all.

"Percy?" Annabeth asked.

You know how when you see a storm taking place right in the middle of an ocean, and you see strong waves in the ocean, strong currents of wind, and some lightning in the distance? Well, I had a minor case of that showing as the aura around me started to glow brighter. I'd imagine if any of those homeless guys from earlier got a good look at what was happening right now, or any mortal for that matter, they'd most likely know that I wasn't someone to fuck with, especially when I'm angry.

"What is this?" Dr. Thorn asked as he and everyone else slowly started to back away from me.

"Bessie, dive deep and stay down!" I said though the words weren't being spoken in my normal voice, but as if I was speaking in the voices of many angry and all-powerful beings.

Bessie got the message and got away immediately.

"I've put up with more than enough of this shit. I'm sick and tired of this quest. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with so much bullshit in a short amount of time. And above all else, I'm especially sick and tired of being kept from my girlfriend and unborn baby!" I exclaimed as I unleashed Hell.

"Stop him!" Dr. Thorn ordered.

His guards tried to shoot me down, but before they could fire a single shot, arms of water sprung from behind me and grabbed ahold of them and Dr. Thorn, holding them in the air in a very vice and tight grip.

"It's just like back at the museum. Something of a god has been triggered in him and he's releasing its power." Zoe said.

Next thing I knew, just like with the Nemeon Lion at the museum, a series of thunderbolts came out from me and electrocuted Dr. Thorn and his guards. They all wailed and screamed as they were being shocked, Especially Dr. Thorn. Talk about a "Doc Shock", am I right?

By now, the homeless guys from earlier and all other mortals around were running away, screaming to run away from the maniac at the pier. Meanwhile, all of the manticore's guards, one by one, struggled until they couldn't move anymore. They were all dying. With them gone, that only left the manticore that's been getting on my nerves lately.

"This time, I'll make sure you won't come back." I threatened as I started hitting him harder.

"No!" Dr. Thorn screamed.

His tail tried to bristle, but it was no use. My grip on him wasn't letting up, and the more he got zapped, the more his life was fading away. And I didn't stop until he stopped moving and was back to being another pile of dust. Seeing he was dust again, I let the lightning disappear and the water drop to the ground as I started to calm down a little, but only slowly. For his sake, he better stay that way this time if he knows what's good for him.

"Percy, what was that?" Annabeth asked in a shocked and even scared state.

Before I had the chance to say anything, I ended up completely losing consciousness and fell onto the ground. I might've vaguely heard someone scream my name, but I had no way to tell. Because I had just "Fade to Black" (Thank you Metallica).

And that will be the end of this update. I've got other stories and one-shots I need to work on after all. Hope you all enjoyed reading, and stay tuned for the next update.