Shiren was completely lonely for the moment as he left the save cave behind him and slithered on the way into the dark and cold night. His mind improved a tiny bit after the conversation with his classmates. It sounded like he really got a second chance right now whenever he decides to go back to the alliance. But he still refused to argue with himself if he would go back in any way still.
There was no way for him. The alliance fought for the wrong reasons.
He sought for a good, quiet and covered place to be, sit down and clearing his mind though it did not have to be covered since it was night.
Sadly the Pool of Tears was too far away now. The flowing water in this cave would be helpful now to think and choose his next path properly and deciding what's right and wrong in this moment.
He did not know where we even went but also he engaged nobody on his path. If he would passed the Jade-Palace just behind one bush he totally hadn't notice it at all because he was not paying attention where he went. He even forgot to remember the path he came so he could easily come back to the cave later. He wished he had a lantern or something to even see where he was slithering to. It was hard for him to tell where the path leads to he currently were on but he surely could tell it was not the same way he used few hours earlier to get into the Jade-Palace.
Thousand things run through his head and he wasn't able to start where he should even begin to clean his mess of a mind up since a huge power like a tornado twisted them around the whole area.
In the ends of his random directed path of tiredness he nearly fell down a cliff when he failed to notice it. Shocked and out of pure instinct he recovered himself quickly enough.
When he turned around and investigated the area he recognized it was a death end now.
But it was maybe a perfect one for him right now.
The place he was in was quiet, covered by a peach tree and Shiren recognised one little youngling of a peach tree beside of it.
He sighed quietly and sat down by curling his body slightly. He took out the scroll with the information of the Chi and looked at it.
It was so tiny he could not believe that such a thing was able to ruin his head. It was just a scroll, something he used to read every day. And now he is giving away nearly everything he established the last years just for one little piece of paper. Now it this would just be a twisted joke and the real scroll is still in the Jade-Palace, like Yong suggested… He did not want to think about it, when he looked at the brown scroll with golden musters.
He grew angry for one moment and hauled off to throw this damn scroll down that cliffs but than he hesitated. "No.", he said to himself. "You know you shouldn't do this!", he reminded himself while fighting against himself to not throw it.
Something grabbed his tail and prevented him from throwing. "You should listen to yourself."
Where Shiren had strain in his muscles, he let up without even looking around who was holding him because he already knew. He recognised the voice and at the moment he relaxed the hand let go of him.
"Why are you here?", Shiren asked Shifu. He did not make any attempts to fight of to flee. He did not know who his enemy even was any more and who was his friend. Also he would not even get away of be victorious if he would had challenged Shifu. He knew it.
"I just heard something.", he answered and sat down next to Shiren: "Your mind is twisted as far as I can tell."
Shiren nodded slowly without having eye-contact with Shifu who spoke on:
"Last time we spoke I warned you: The truth could hurt very hard. But I also told that you should be careful what you do with this information. And now you are here, between everything and in the position to decide what you are going to do."
Shiren sighed slightly before he answered: "It´s not that simple. I do not wish to hurt my people. I just want… everything to be over."
Shifu stood up again and did a stroke with his his flat hand on the tree:"But currently you have to decide between two sides and which one you want to listen to. Do you let your emotions guide you or do you prefer to act logically? Let me help you. Wha-"
"Why should you?", Shiren asked angrily and interrupted him. He did not understand why Shifu was that calm: "I am not on your side! I never were but you seem to trust me in every way!" He begun to laugh for a moment and spoke on: "And so far I just betrayed everyone I know. Who can tell I am not tricking you as well?"
Shifu chuckled: "By throwing the scroll down that cliff after leaving the alliance without any comrades without even noticing me?"
Shiren´s head went down and he sighed again: "Fair point. But seriously: I'm not even trusting myself to do things properly. Maybe tomorrow I will find something new out and will fight you again for some reason. What do I know? This morning I was not even thinking about leaving anybody. In opposite: I was the hero. Mostly. I returned. I had the trust of my chieftain and anyone! It's ridiculous to think about."
Shifu chuckled: "A hero, hm? I can't tell 'cause I weren't there but… so far… you might become a hero like anyone else."
Shiren grinned hard at Shifu and said: "Don't toy with me or try to persuade me to anything. Why are you even talking to me, huh? I do not think you would have a hard time taking to scroll from me. Take it if you want! I do not give anything to this thing!"
Shifu took a breath and made a little pause to calm Shiren down again before he asked: "So: What would your goal be if you could had the power to do everything?", he asked out of nowhere.
Shiren hesitated on answering though he did not need much time to decide his answer. But why should this red panda even ask this question right now? Why should he answer? What did Shiren care for this guy? But before throwing away his last opportunity to speak ordinary with a person he answered: "First of all… if the universe would allow me to do anything… I would bring my family back. And after I have done this…" He groaned angrily: "I don´t want the power to do anything! I just….I just want to talk! I want to figure out who is responsible of this war! And I gonna stop the alliance from attacking, then force you to go out and spread the wisdom: The Chi is not that dangerous as everybody thinks it is. Not any more!", he spoke out his thoughts without hesitating.
Shifu on the other side stayed calm. He felt sadness and suffer in his heard as he answered: "Well… one part is already in front of you.
Hesitating and… let the other chieftains in unclearness… was a mistake of mine. The start of the war is my responsibility. But I am not in charge of the alliance." I can't make anyone stopping fighting."
Shiren took a deep breath and looked aside. He still felt anger. Anger about just everything right now. "Now that´s for your question about what I would do if I have the power.", he said.
"I see… I see.", Shifu responded. Shiren looked at him and he saw Shifu at ease, warring a long stick, looking towards the mountains in the distance.
Shifu breathed in and said: "You know what… I wonder… what Oogway would do right now if he still would be here. … I feel bad fighting someone who is actually just afraid. We refused using Chi against you so far because… we did not want to scare you even more but at the same time we weren't able to show you it's goodness… Shiren. You told me two wishes you have currently. One out of your emotions and one out of your logical side. I do not think you can do both but… you can do something. There is a chance you can… try to talk. But I don't know if you would be comfortable to do it. It's up to you: I can certainly give you the possibility to talk to Junjie. But you would not just leave everything behind you… make yourself a traitor to your past. To your whole life." He stood up and said: "That´s your decision to make until the fight begins."
Shiren wondered what he meant. For him, he already did everything he could have done in every worst way possible like his life depended on it. Which past could he dishonour any more? The only one he currently really cared about was already gone.
Right as Shifu turned away to leave, Shiren called him once more: "Shifu… If… if I decide to not join you… I would at least want you to know… thank you.", he said. He felt anger and pain but it was not Shifu's or anyone other's fault. It was just and only his own. He was glad to called out the thanks if this might were the last peaceful conversation for Shiren he wanted it to end like this.
Shifu did not respond on that sentence and just left Shiren alone on this cliff. Shiren didn't see his front to maybe see some respond in his face. And now he was gone.
There was nothing left for him to loose as he was talking to Shifu. He still did not know how this conversation was able to exist but he was glad for it.
At least there was someone Shiren could talk to without having any pressure. It would rule his destiny from that moment but the option was worthy to have.
Shifu made a good point as he asked Shiren about his goals. Shiren knew he was not able to make both of them true and the second would forced him to do a decision. But for now Shiren was just tired and unable to think properly and much longer. He started to lay down and attempted to sleep which worked.
This night Shiren did not dream anything excited like last night, or he could not remember.
As Shrien woke up, the sun barely arrived at the tip of the horizon, giving its first glint across the landscape. The cold wind glided around his body and he still was tired but his hunger and the coldness kept him awake and denied his attempts to sleep again.
He stood up and looked around and saw that nothing has changed while he was sleeping and the scroll still laid right next to him. The moment he saw it he wished Shifu had taken it with him as he went away yesterday, but he didn't.
The burden was still Shiren's to bother with. Theoretically he woke up in time, he realized as he wondered if his former classmates would be awake because now was the time to finally choose a side if they would ever team up with someone now. And they had to if they would have a chance. Shiren still refused to think he will ever return to the alliance this day. It was just not possible. Even if he would and the alliance would still accept him he knew his future would be worse than every other route he could choose right now.
At the same time he knew the Jade-Palace is dangerous. Shifu so far was very unexpectedly kind to Shiren but he assumed no mercy when he would actually enter the Jade-Palace.
At least his rage left him for now so he was able to consider the situation properly again. He felt more relaxed than at any time yesterday. He still was not quite calm like he used to but the circumstances made it impossible anyway.
He lost no time as he made his way back to the cave he left yesterday his friends in.
He expected it to be empty with some kind of message left behind but it was not.
"Look, how is back.", Lao greeted him with waving at him. Shiren saw the others still sleeping which was fine for him so he was able to have a little talk with just Lao alone; The one he trust most at this moment. He knew Lao was very analytical and theoretical. He would understand Shiren´s situation as best. Shiren came to him and greeted: "Hey, ehm… how is it going?"
"Nah.", Lao looked aside with a bit of anger in his face: "Thinks evolving fast. We barely have any kind of proper conversation or even discussion about what to do." Then he looked at Shiren again: "I can tell you what I think so far but I would like the others say their opinion. You know. So the others can discuss with us.", he told him while keeping eye-contact.
Shiren sighed and shook his head slightly: "I do not anticipate you to stay here. The scroll is my burden to carry. Not yours. You could be with the alliance now."
"This is not about you or the scroll or you, Shiren.", Lao explained in all seriousness: "I don't care about how you would decide though I probably should but when we talk about how to proceed we come up with different motivations. But as I said, the others should tell on themselves what they care for. Don't get us wrong. We still care for you and whatever you are doing. It's just… you know. Too much input in so few time. Needs it's time to digest anything."
"I think I got the point.", Shiren answered though he was not sure about how Lao now truly feels.
After Lao eyed up Shiren he said: "Look, whatever is written in there, it should not make you starve, okay?", he said and handed him a plate with some food. Shiren was thankful but didn't say much as he took it.
He noticed the others waking up as he ate.
"Morning, Shiren.", Ku Zhan greeted him and Shiren looked up.
"Hey.", he answered kindly. Ku Zhan turned to Lao and they both had a little soundless conversation Shiren translated as: "Did you say him?" - "No I did not."
"So what's your plan now?", Yong, laying against a wall, asked Shiren. This question took all the attention to Shiren but he refused to let the pressure overwhelm him again this way.
"I need to get to Junjie. He is the one behind everything and he knows the truth of the Chi.", Shiren said completely convinced he told the truth though he had not a single evidence.
"Are you sure?", Lao asked him seriously: "You can´t afford to fail this. When he is truly innocent..."
"He is not!", Shiren interrupted Lao before he could make any kind of insecurity in his mind again. Shiren could not afford to fail it now: "He clearly knows! Lao. How much do you trust someone coming from this province and persuade everyone to attack his own home? The Jade-Palace did a mistake hesitating with giving the Chi around the provinces. He can trust them to not claim the world, right? They even beat Kai who was already 500 years busy taking the Chi of others and it was not even enough to stop the Dragon Warrior. So how should one little rogue be able to do chaos with it? If Masters like Jil know how to handle it… it's not that different than Kung Fu itself, isn't it?", he spoke.
"But why should the chieftains of the alliance not think about that?", Xing asked. "Don't you think they thought about this too?"
"Because of the lack of information given to them.", Shiren continued: "Kai's defeat is not even two weeks in the past and the war started like five days or so."
"It was not that much time, yes.", Yong said for him and nodded him to continue.
Shiren paused for a second, caught his thoughts and talked on: "This plan sounds very ridiculous for one person but I doubt he was alone. I have no evidence for anything… just clues. The fight against the outlaws at the sea? An attempt to kill me? Twice? Just because… I talked with someone! The fact the Jade-Palace is not even using their Chi against us! And most of all… the complete destruction of the Chi. Isn't it a risk to destroy everyone who is a master of it without knowing if… someone may be capable…"
"I've heard enough." Ku Zhan said and folded his arms. "You talk so much about Chi and some suggestions but you have no evidence and to be honest: I do not remember a thing you just said but you know what: Whatever. I'm done with fighting against the Jade-Palace.
Since our time in Wong Fu, fighting felt wrong. Something was not right and I know what: I refuse fighting against my own people. Whatever you want to accomplish, Shiren, you can trust me staying behind you. I know you do not go back to the alliance.", he said, went to Shiren and turned to the others.
"I can't get you, Ku Zhan.", Lao said: "I got everything he said. Yes, it was not well spoken but I can connect the dots. It's at least worth trying, right?"
"But you know we probably have to fight against Jil?", Xing flagged up to him.
"It's a risk, yes.", Yong said calmly: "I am not happy fighting her too and I doubt she will join Shiren. Loyalty, you know. I do not care about the Jade-Palace but I guess targeting one person suits me more than fighting against some random legendary people."
Xing shook her head."This would bring shame about me and my family.", she said and then looked at Shiren. "Shiren, I pray you are right with this. You better. You can't understand my situation but I give you a hint: I kinda risk my life here. You better make it worth, understood?", she slowly and sharply said while looking deeply into Shirens eyes.
"It is.", he answered quietly. She sighed but nodded. "Alright. So what are we doing, Shiren? Waiting in the bush?", she asked.
Shiren looked to the outside of the cave and answered: "I have a better Idea."