Chapter 37

And I am back with another chapter friends. It's a longish one but worth the emotional ride. I do hope you enjoy it and want more. Let me know in the comments section. :)

Hailey fell to the floor with a light thud. It was almost as if she was waiting for the blow to come so that she could collapse. She couldn't believe what was transpiring. She keyed her radio and spoke in ragged breaths, "5021, Henry. Shots fired by the police and offenders, requesting"—

She heard footsteps, probably the team. They had certainly heard the shots and were headed in that direction now. Hailey dropped her radio and moved towards Jay, finally seeing what she dreaded. He had been shot by Angela, again and this time it looked worse. She went to him and applied pressure mechanically, because her mind had shut down.

"What happened?" Ruzek asked as he barged into the room.

The whole team had arrived by now and they saw what had actually happened. Jay was on the floor, Angela sprawled on the other side, blood oozing out of her body. Kim and Vanessa quickly went to her and tried to see whether she was alive. Hailey spoke finally, "She shot him Sarge, I had no choice."

The team was beginning to understand how the events must have circumstanced and they were all in shock and dismay. Hailey asked, still applying pressure on Jay's wound, "Where's Bobby?"

The team looked at her in surprise. For a moment Hailey wondered if she had hallucinated but Voight spoke, "Who's Bobby?"

"Her son. He was here," Hailey tried to make them believe.

Voight motioned for Kim and Adam to go look for this boy, he couldn't have gone too far. Hailey was beyond exhausted and all of them could very well see that. Her stress level is what tired her. Kevin approached her and said, "I got this."

He took her place and helped Jay who had most likely lost consciousness. Hailey exhaled loudly and decided to walk out of the room, she just couldn't take this anymore. Voight followed her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and asked, "What happened?"

She turned and for the first time he saw how beaten she was. She was evidently crying but it was a mixture of pain, trauma, fear and exhaustion. She started, "She shot him first Sarge. I waited, I waited till the last moment."

"Hm," Voight said and continued, "What about the boy"?

"I swear he was there Sarge, I saw him peep in when Angela starting walking with the gun. I didn't want to do this Sarge, I really didn't, but she left me no choice," Hailey said, unable to control her emotions anymore.

"Hailey"—

"I didn't want to shoot her in front of her son," she repeated, now crying.

"Hailey, listen to me. You have to keep it together. This is far from over," Voight said, preparing her for what was to come.

"I can't Sarge, I just cannot," she uttered defeated.

"Hey, hey. Listen to me Hailey. You have to get through this," he said, again trying to make her understand the gravity of the situation.

By now the ambulance had arrived. Jay was being escorted into it. Angela was pronounced so there was no need for her to be taken immediately. They had found Bobby in an isolated corner, the poor boy was trembling and crying uncontrollably. They made sure he didn't come remotely close to this room. Everyone expected Hailey to join Jay in the ambulance but she declined immediately. No one questioned her but she told Voight, "I can't take this anymore. I am going back to New York right away."

Voight was confirmed that Hailey was not thinking straight right now, she was really undergoing the trauma. He asked genuinely, "What about Jay?"

"I don't know," she replied, exasperated. "But I cannot see him right now and Sarge, I really cannot take this anymore. I am going to have a mental breakdown if this continues any longer."

Voight could see this entire incident had affected Hailey at a different level and he realised she needed the time to pull herself together. He told her to go home and come back later, they would all be at the hospital.

She went to Jay's apartment, because it was closer and she didn't really have much in hers since she had moved out. She had a spare key and she knew his apartment like her own. Hailey realised she wasn't feeling anything and she was experiencing this since the moment those two bullets had left her gun. She was numb and deflated. She was aware of everything, but she couldn't bring herself to let it all out. Jay was probably in a serious condition and the chances of him making it were fifty fifty, but she didn't know what she could do about that. She had shut down and nothing seemed to matter anymore. The moment she opened the closet to pull out some new clothes, Jay's scent pervaded her nose and she felt helpless. This entire apartment smelt of him, reminded her of him. She vowed she would never get as close to anyone as she did to Jay. It was really not worth it, at least she felt that way in the moment.

She showered and ultimately decided to stay home. She didn't have the energy nor the courage to face anything more right now. She called Voight and he didn't push her. She had to speak with IRT in the morning as well, that would be more challenging than anything. She needed to save up on her energy.

The following day she was questioned thoroughly, reliving every painful moment once again. The fact was that nobody cared about what she felt, they were all here to do a job. Hailey wanted to get done with it as soon as possible and leave. Meanwhile in the hospital, Jay had come out of surgery and the verdict was that he was going to be fine. But nobody would utterly be convinced until he regained consciousness, which he did in a couple of hours. So one problem was at least solved and the team could partially sigh out of relief. The first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Does Hailey know?"

The team exchanged subtle looks, uncertain how to play this. But one thing was certain: Jay didn't remember anything otherwise he would have known she was there with him yesterday. Voight took matters in his hands and said, "Yeah, she knows and she'll be here soon."

Jay choked in trying to speak, "She's coming here?"

"Buddy, calm down. Just relax," Adam said placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jay really didn't want her to come all the way here only to meet him. Boy if he knew all that she had undergone yesterday he would probably become unconscious again. No one said anything more and they all left.

Hailey wanted to meet him but she didn't know how she would see him. What would she even tell him? Because honestly, there was nothing left to say and she had shut down since yesterday and didn't plan on opening those inner doors for a while, if ever.

As she arrived at Med, the team decided to take a leave and return later, although only Kevin and Adam were the ones there. They were all staying in turns. But now Jay was in the safest hands possible so nobody worried and they all left. As she approached the ICU door she saw him lying limply on the bed, faced bruised and all kinds of tubes on him. She really didn't know if she would be able to do this. She exhaled loudly decided that she would hold it together at least in front of him. She entered and their eyes met. He smiled ever so briefly but she caught it. She was internally shaking her head, he was going to make her cry.

"Hey," he managed softly.

"Hey," she replied back more softly.

She was standing next to his bed now and he slowly reached out for her hand that was placed on the side. She didn't react, he held it gently. He searched her eyes but found nothing. He squeezed her hand once more which made her look at him. He was staring at her so completely that she was forced to divert her gaze. "Hailey," he called out gently.

No! No! He couldn't do this. Whenever he said her name she melted. She looked at him again and he was looking at her intently. "Please hold my hand," he said softly.

Hailey was left looking at him with fresh tears in her eyes. What had happened to him? She had never seen him so vulnerable and weak. Her other hand by her side was left trembling visibly. She dared to lift it up and place it on his, quite certain that his hand would be helping her and not the other way around. He gently urged her to hold them more firmly by squeezing hers again. Finally Hailey had to say, "Jay…"

That voice was a melody to his ears and it seemed for the first he breathed freely. She asked softly, really praying that her voice came out as a sound and not a sob, "What happened Jay?"

He looked at her deeply and barely whispered, "I'm scared."

Her hands clasped his hands more tightly, more for her own support. He was really breaking apart in front of her and she didn't know what to do. She removed one of her hands gently and dared to place it on his forehead, all the while trembling and shaking. He closed his eyes as though all that he had ever wanted finally happened. Hailey had decided not to speak anymore, because the moment she did, instead of words tears would fall out. He opened them again and his eyes were full now. He said, "Hailey, I love you."

Hailey just heard him and how dearly she wished she didn't have to go through this now. It was all suddenly too much for her. She removed her hands and whispered, "I'm sorry," and headed towards the door, tears already rolling down her face.

He saw her leave, his own tears escaping his eyes now. Hailey went to an isolated corner and bent down to let everything out. And everything did come out, the tears flowed, the pained gripped her body again and the fear nabbed at her insides. She could feel again, wishing with all her heart that this was one moment in which she really didn't want to. Suddenly her phone buzzed, it was an unknown number. She answered, "Hello?"

"Please come back," she heard Jay's desperate voice.

What was going on with him? He never behaved in this manner. Well, there was a first to everything. She hurried back to his room and saw him attempting to sit up. She rushed to him and said, "Hey, hey, relax. Jay, calm down. I am right here. I am right here."

He looked at her panic-stricken and full of fear. Something was really wrong with him. Hailey was tensed now. "Let me call a doctor."

"No," he said, grabbing her hand.

She looked at him more worried now. What was going on? She managed, "Jay, you're scaring me. What's happening to you?"

He looked at her, not attempting to hide his emotions one bit. He started, "Hailey… Hailey…"

"Yeah? Tell me Jay. I'm right here," she said, holding his hands.

"I am afraid… I am so…"

"Afraid of what?" she urged him, all the while holding his hands in hers.

"I thought I was going to… I thought I was going to die… and I was so scared…" he said, breathless.

"Jay, Jay, listen to me. Calm down honey. You're alright now," Hailey said.

"I thought of you and I couldn't take it… I couldn't…" he was openly crying now.

"Jay, I am fine. Look at me," she said, trying everything to make him feel better.

"I can't lose you Hailey, I really can't…" he said, letting himself go fully now.

"I am not going anywhere Jay. I am not," she said.

He needed more at the moment and she was ready to give it to him, as much as it messed with her own state. She gently climbed onto the bed and whispered, "Come here," half pulling him and half reaching out to him.

He buried his head immediately in her chest and started weeping, his entire body convulsing. She held him tightly, one hand wrapping around his body and the other caressing his hair. He really couldn't stop himself, she observed. Something deep within him had been hit and it had triggered this barrage of emotions. She didn't know how long she would be able to keep it together, because she was nearing his ledge now, each of his painful sob broke her inch by inch and she would soon join him in his state. Her tears were falling on his head, she attempted to wipe them off but there were just too many. She held him tightly to her chest and both of them wept.

What had she decided and what did she end up doing.

Well, the emotional rollercoaster ride comes to an end here. I am proud of this chapter. I sincerely hope you guys liked it as well. And please comment and share your thoughts. Reviews and feedback always greatly help. Until then take care and thank you so much for reading. :)