Chapter 38

Hello guys, a new chapter is here. Dig in and enjoy. :)

They were holding each other and really letting themselves go. No one was in the room apart from them and their abundant tears. Finally Jay spoke, almost in a whisper, "You saved me."

At that Hailey was forced to look down and search his eyes. What was he saying? Did he suddenly remember she was there all along? She asked, "What?"

"You did, Hailey. You always do," he replied, reflecting on how many times she had saved him, emotionally more than anything else.

"Jay… I…"she didn't know what to say.

"No, even though you weren't there, I felt your presence," he continued.

Now Hailey was certain that he didn't really know what had transpired. She continued looking at him, wondering what more he would say. He went on, "You were the one applying pressure on my wound. I was barely conscious but I knew it was you. I know your every touch Hailey."

Now Hailey was simply confused, one moment he was saying he didn't know she was there and the next she was. She concluded it was all the medication he was on, but a part of her was elated at the thought that he could differentiate her touch and presence from others, even though it was almost in an unconscious state. Although, she didn't want to clarify anything at the moment so she simply ran her hand through his hair again and caressed him as acknowledgement.

By now they had calmed down and regained their composure more or less. What they didn't see was a silent figure observing them from outside. Voight was looking through the glass and what he saw stirred an emotion in him that he had long forgotten. Seeing them wrapped in each other's embrace he suddenly remembered what it was like to be in love. He had done everything wrong in his life, he had chosen a dark path to bring justice but looking at them in this moment he knew that there was another way and maybe that way was more human. He was what he was and they were what they were. Hailey was like him and he was utterly glad that she had Jay as a companion, because she was very capable of heading down that somber path. But this was a two-way path, Jay was also very capable of following her down that dark path for the sake of love. Voight was most relived and pleased by the fact that they had something more valuable and long lasting than their job to help them become better people, and that was their love.

He looked at them a moment longer and he didn't miss the reserved but real smiles between them. It had been a while since all of them had experienced the pleasure of wearing a smile. One thing was certain in his mind right now and he was going to put it to action the moment he had a chance to.

In a while the whole team had re-joined them in the hospital and Voight had something to say. He looked at the intent faces of his team and began, "I have decided that all of us are going to have a vacation for a week. No cases, no criminals, no suspects, nothing at all."

The team looked at him in surprise not believing the words coming out of his mouth. What had happened to Voight suddenly? But he continued, "I am going to organise it and we'll leave next week."

None of them had words to describe the amount of surprise they were experiencing. It was like they were talking to a whole new person. He concluded with, "Hailey, I need a word with you."

Hailey stepped away from the bed and followed Voight out of the room. She wondered what this would be about. She looked at her Sergeant in anticipation and he started, "Listen Hailey, I thought long about it and I have decided that I want you to come back here."

Hailey didn't quite understand what he was talking about. Come back here? Where? Did he mean Intelligence? Voight continued, "I'll speak to Isobel in New York and take care of the matter."

Now Hailey understood and the only word that came out of her mouth was, "What?"

"Yeah. I want you back in Intelligence Hailey," he finished, this time clearly saying what he meant.

Hailey was shocked to hear this. She had not expected this one bit. She managed, "But Sarge, I thought"—

He interrupted her, "I have changed my mind and it's for the best. I don't want to ruin something that is so much more worthy than a job."

Hailey hinted at what he meant but she didn't dare ask. Voight went on, "You and Jay are a good team and I am not going to split that up, not anymore at least."

Hailey was just being surprised from one moment to the next. She really didn't know how to react. But Voight was not done, "And I am quite certain that after everything that has happened, both of you have learnt your lessons."

Hailey was on the same page but she didn't dare confirm that. She should just take yes as an answer and move on. If Voight thought he could trust them again, she would damn well make sure he was right in doing so. But she had to clarify one more thing before this went any further. She spoke, slightly embarrassed, "Uh, Jay and I are together again."

"I know," he nodded with a slight smile on his lips again.

She flushed, wondering when she wouldn't have to talk to her boss about her personal life. It seemed to have become a daily subject these days. But one hurdle was crossed anyway and she could drop that concern now. Voight walked off, entering the room again. Hailey still stood there, uncertain of what to feel. She was beyond thrilled that she would be living with Jay again but she had to be equally careful. So much was happening suddenly. And this new vacation that Voight had suggested out of the blue was a first and probably last for everyone. She sighed and entered the room again, her eyes locking with Jay for the briefest of moments. They exchanged one of their subtle smiles.

The next couple of days went by mostly in the hospital. Jay was discharged finally and Hailey took him home. Well, home was her place nowadays. Whenever they were together, they stayed at her place. Most of Jay's stuff was already in her apartment and she didn't mind it. What was cute and interesting was that it had become obvious that her place would be their home. Honestly, Jay's apartment was not a house but merely a bunch of rooms put together to give a semblance of living. Hailey's apartment on the other hand, had a homely feeling to it and that's what both of them needed.

As they entered the apartment Hailey realised most of her stuff was still in New York. That wasn't a problem, she would manage with whatever was there. She turned to him and said, "I am going to take a shower first. I can't with this hospital smell anymore."

He nodded and she left for the bathroom. She took a good twenty minutes to clean herself and came out fresh and rinsed. He went after her. It took him a while as well, but not because he was cleaning himself excessively, but because his bruises were slowing him down. Hailey had known this but she had no intention to help him out at the moment, she wanted to avoid all physical contacts. He came out finally, wrapped in a towel. Her eyes immediately went to the recent bullet wound on his torso. She really wondered when this would stop. Jay and bullets were like magnets and unfortunately she was the one caught between them. Instead she said, "Dinner's ready."

He got dressed and emerged from her room, to be more correct, their room. They ate pretty much in silence and Hailey suddenly remembered she had a lot of things to say to him. She started, "Listen, um..."

At that his gaze went to her face and now he was looking at her intently. She was suddenly overwhelmed by his stare and fumbled, "I have to tell you a few things."

"What is it Hailey?" he enquired more involved now.

But Hailey suddenly felt that this was perhaps not the best moment. She looked at him a moment longer and concluded, "You know what, we'll talk tomorrow."

She saw the surprise come on his face but she didn't speak. Instead he asked, "Hailey, we can talk now."

"Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow. I am suddenly feeling the exhaustion," she admitted.

He looked at her another moment and understood that whatever it was, she didn't want to talk right now. So he left it, himself feeling the tiredness in his body. They were in the bedroom after their dinner and Hailey was making the bed, Jay slowly pulling out his T-shirt. Hailey half turned and saw this, immediately making her react, "What are you doing?"

He turned towards her and she saw the fresh wound again. He answered innocently, "Getting ready for bed."

Her mind was racing, she wasn't ready to do what he had in mind. She didn't want to do that. But he spoke again, "The T-shirt actually hurts me. I thought it wouldn't, but it does."

Her heart melted in that moment and she realised she needed to calm down. She needed to give her thoughts a break and actually focus on what was happening. "Do you want me to apply anything?" she asked, in spite of herself.

"No, I am fine," he replied with a smile.

She nodded and got back to her work. She debated whether she should wear her shorts or remain in her sweats. As much as she wanted the comfort of her shorts she concluded that sweats would be the wise option here. She wanted to avoid any sort of physical contact. This sudden new idea had popped into her head and she had her reasons to feel that way. She heard suddenly, "May I?" Jay was pointing at the bed.

"Uh, yeah," she said, realising she had been lost in her thoughts.

The funniest part was that probably she was the only one thinking so much about these things, Jay didn't seem to be concerned with these matters at the moment. He lay down slowly, making sure his wounds were not aggravated. She joined him and put the light off. There was an eerie silence in the room. She had no intention of breaking it. But it seemed Jay had something to say, "I know something's bothering you Hailey. You can talk to me."

She thought for a moment and answered, "Not now, I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

"Alright, but just know that I am there when you're ready," he said.

No you're not you jackass, she thought to herself. He had almost died again and she was left feeling this way. Sure, he was there now, but there were all the chances that he was gone forever. This thought brought a sudden wave of tears to her eyes. An anger that she had consciously kept buried within her since the shooting was resurfacing at twice the speed and she was losing control. How she wanted to beat the crap out of the man lying next to her. She wanted to shake him awake and punch him a few times only to whack him more and ask him what the hell was he thinking. She turned towards him and saw he was rather still, probably sleeping by now. He didn't deserve to sleep like this when he had put her through hell for a good number of days. She faced the ceiling once more and knew this was far from over. She calmed herself down and tried to sleep, because she needed it gravely after the running around these past few days.

The room was enveloped in complete darkness. The lovers were sleeping like strangers. Suddenly there was thrashing, quick movement and Jay sat up instantly, panting and sweating. Hailey had felt all this, she woke up with a start and looked to her side. She saw Jay sit erect and trying to regain his breath. She sat up and approached him placing her hand on his shoulder gently. He turned abruptly, scaring her. He was still in his nightmare. She spoke softly, "Hey, it's me."

He seemed to recognise her and turned towards her now, still panting and sweating. She asked gently, "What happened Jay?"

"It was… It was Angela again… she was going to shoot me…" he managed between ragged breaths.

Hailey moved closer to him and held him, letting him calm down still. She could hear his heart racing and his body almost trembling. She whispered, "It's okay, it's okay. You're safe now. It was just a nightmare."

He was still looking at her intently, trying to believe her words. Then what happened next was a complete blur for both of them. Jay had pulled her in for a kiss, his hand pushing her hair back. It happened so fast that Hailey had no time to react. She gave in but not fully, knowing a part of her wanted this so bad but another telling her this was a bad idea. But it seemed Jay suddenly realised what he was doing and pulled away immediately, leaving them both breathless. He started, "I am sorry. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," she replied still savouring his lips, ones she had missed so dearly.

He moved away from her, realising that the more distance they had between them the better. He got up to get himself some water. By the time he was back, Hailey was lying down again, thank God he thought. He lay down safely on his side and made a mental note as to how much was his side. The night wore on when suddenly there was quick movement in the room again, a sort of frenzy and thrashing. It continued a moment longer until Hailey sat up looking around. Jay was still sleeping, she was the one who had undergone a nightmare this time. She ran her hands through her hair and exhaled loudly. She didn't want to wake Jay up, he had suffered enough. The only image that replayed in her mind was that of Bobby. She was terrified the moment it ran across her mind and made her remember that fateful shooting. She went to have a sip of water. She didn't want Jay to find out about her nightmare. She was going to deal with it on her own. But from the looks of it this feat was proving to be rather difficult. They were living together now and she only knew about Jay's protective nature. She had to handle this herself and quickly. What hung over her head was also the fact that she had to tell him the truth, she had been there that day, she had saved him indeed. For some reason she didn't want him to know this.

All she hoped was that separate sides on the bed was the extent of their problems and things didn't escalate to separate rooms, separate homes and eventually their painful separation.

Well, here comes the end of this longish chapter. I have set the base for what's to come next. I hope you guys liked it. :)

PS: Kim is apparently kidnapped. And I really hope that's the extent to which she's going to suffer. Fingers crossed.