Chapter 38 Chapter Notes
It's been quite a day for Bella. Jake is finished with his transformation, but he won't talk to her about it. She meets the object of Charlie's affection and then finishes the night off with another odd, colorful dream.
Bella thinks about her attraction to water.
The chapter title belongs to Neil Young
Chapter 38 Tell Me Why Wednesday, October 18th
Bella calls Jacob's house before she leaves for school to find out if he's feeling better. Billy had seemed a little casual about Jake having the flu. It's a serious illness, and Bella isn't sure that Billy even took Jake to the doctor.
The phone rings a few times, and Bella bounces on the balls of her feet, waiting. Finally, she hears a voice she almost doesn't recognize. It's Jake, but the voice is deeper, without the endearing, bubbly puppy-dog enthusiasm.
"Hello."
"Um, hey Jake! How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, Bella."
His voice is cold. Bella is confused. "Jake, I was worried about you. Billy wouldn't let me come up there. I called and called."
"Bella, I have to go."
"Well, can I come up today after school? I can be there by four."
"No, I don't think so. I have some things to do. Hey, I'll call you later." The line goes dead, leaving Bella holding the receiver, feeling equal measures of shock and dismay.
She puts the phone down and grabs up her school things. Her day is unremarkable; she passes her Economics quiz and gets a C- on her calculus test. With a heavy heart, she drives home after school and stands at the open refrigerator door, thinking about the easiest thing she can pass off for supper, when Charlie walks in the house, an hour early.
Confused, Bella throws her dish towel over her shoulder and walks out of the kitchen, to find a beaming, blushing Charlie, holding the arm of a short Hispanic? Indian? woman who looks vaguely familiar. The room is filled with the scent of a flowery perfume, and as she looks more closely, the woman's pink lipstick alerts her to who it is. It's the nurse from the emergency room.
This is the woman Charlie's been seeing. It's Lola, or Nora. Or…Stephanie. Bella can't recall.
Beaming, Charlie says, "Bella, do you remember Maya? From the hospital? I wanted to properly introduce you."
This woman had ripped the bandage off of Bella's arm, scrutinized her wound, and injected her with a really sharp needle. Had asked her a thousand questions. Bella remembers her.
"Hey." It's the only thing that Bella can think to say. She can't, for instance, say, So, you're the one my father has been sleeping with? The reason he's been lying to me about 'fishing'? The one who's been feeding him?
Charlie looks on as the two women smile shyly.
Maya holds out a small, perfectly manicured hand. "I am so happy to meet you in better circumstances, Bella."
Maya and Charlie smile at each other and Bella sees that her father has found love, seventeen years after her mother thoughtlessly walked out on him. "Maya and I are going to the Lodge for supper. Come with us."
Bella doesn't even have to think about it. She glances at her school bag, bulging with papers that need finishing, tests that need correcting and books that need studying. "I've got a ton of work to do before the end of the week. Maybe next time?"
Charlie rubs his hands together. "You sure?" When Bella nods, he says, "Well, what can we bring you back? Cheeseburger? Some dessert?" They are long past the stage where Charlie critiques her choice of dessert before food. He's happy with anything Bella puts in her mouth and chews, swallows, then keeps down.
Bella takes a shallow breath and smiles inwardly. "Cheeseburger and cherry pie. Or cobbler, if they have it." She eyes Maya, thinking she's probably a freaking vegetarian.
There's an awkward pause as Charlie dithers on the spot for a moment. "Okay, I'll be back later with your supper." They exchange pleasantries, nice to meet you, have a good time, that kind of crap. Bella watches through the window as Charlie opens Maya's door for her. He pulls her into a kiss, a public kiss, before she can get in.
With supper now out of the way, Bella has nothing to occupy her except school work. With a sigh, she drags her bag to the kitchen and spreads her work out over the table. She finds it hard to concentrate, though. It's been a day of firsts. Jake doesn't want to see her and she's finally met the elusive reason for Charlie's erratic behavior.
Two hours later, after she's waded through the incomprehensible calculus, finished a paper for her Economics class and read the chapter the English teacher assigned, Bella is ready for a shower. As she piles her books back into their bag, she hears the cruiser, and in a few moments, Charlie is unlocking the front door and handing her a paper bag with her food in it.
She's not particularly hungry, but to be a good sport, she smiles and takes the bag. "Thanks. How was supper?" She expects he'll tell her Maya ordered a teeny salad and passed on dessert.
"Great. Maya ordered their new double mushroom swissburger. She said to tell you that if you like cheeseburgers, you'd love that one."
"I took her for a vegetarian." Bella unwraps the cheeseburger from its greasy waxed paper. She's hungrier than she thought, and digs in. Charlie sits at the table with her.
He laughs. "Not hardly. That woman loves to eat. I've never met a woman who approaches food the way she does." He lowers his head, as if he's about to impart a secret. "And she eats meat rare. I mean, bloody rare. I had to ask her to leave my steak on the grill until it at least got warm inside, but she seared hers, just the outside, before she scarfed it down."
Bella is surprised. She eats half of her cheeseburger, which seems to fill her up, but finds room for the cherry cobbler. It is delicious, and still warm. "So, is this thing between you and Maya serious?" Bella doesn't know exactly where that question came from.
Charlie nods thoughtfully. "Bells, I've never known anyone like Maya. Never knew someone so beautiful, so special, could ever see anything in a working-class stiff like me." Bella doesn't respond right away, turning over the words 'beautiful' and 'working-class stiff' in her mind.
"I don't exactly know what you mean by that last bit, but any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you on her arm." Their eyes meet and Charlie swallows, then looks away. She pats him on the shoulder. "This is great, Dad. I'm really happy for you."
Charlie goes up to bed and Bella tries Jake's house once more. This time, though, nobody answers, even though it's a school night.
After her shower, Bella stands at her window, like she does every night. She wonders where Edward is, if he's happy. Would he congratulate her on making it through these last weeks, be pleased that she had turned away from the hypnotic call of deep, churning water, calling her to submerge her body until she drowned? Or would he scoff, thinking it was all uninteresting news from an equally uninteresting human, and turn his face away?
She turns her face away. She's not going to spend the remainder of her life chasing after guys who don't want her. First Edward, now Jake. Who needs it? Bella was just fine before she came here and met guys who feigned interest and then scampered away when it looked like it might turn serious.
Anger, Bella. Find it.
All she can manage is consternation. Is there something wrong with her? Is she chasing people away from her somehow? She really liked hanging out with Jacob. Maybe not as much as he liked hanging out with her, but is that what this is about? She won't give him more, won't be his girlfriend, so he just pulls the plug?
Tears prick her eyes and she swallows a few times and takes some deep breaths. She's not crying any more useless tears over guys that don't want her!
Bella tries to get comfortable in bed, but sorrow overwhelms her. Edward and Jacob, both AWOL. She feels like an outsider, looking in on real life happening around her, but she doesn't know what to do about it.
Sleep is elusive. She tosses, she turns, she gets up for a drink of water, she finds herself again at the window, gazing hopefully into the trees behind the house. Finally, near dawn, she falls into an uneasy drowse, where she has another one of those weird, colorful dreams.
She's on the reservation, in front of Jacob's house, when a massive dog attacks Charlie. She shrieks and runs over to him. She throws herself at the dog, somehow getting between her father and the animal. It turns on her and she gasps as it snarls, the razor-sharp teeth bared and dripping saliva. The powerful jaws chomp down on her arm and she collapses near Charlie's unconscious body. She's horrified as a pool of bright crimson blooms beneath them, staining his yellow shirt a sickening, sticky, red.
There's someone else there, in the dream. Someone familiar, but Bella can't see his face. A tall man, with untidy hair, dressed all in blue.