OLIVIA

Eventually, I heard about it. We all did. Someone must have seen them making out in that now-infamous Parisian pantry. And maybe it wasn't my place - or anyone's really - but I was mad. Sue looked miserable but tried to play it down. Jin had stopped looking people in the eye. He was sad as well, that was easy to tell but I was too angry to feel sorry for him.

„Look, all I am saying is that you can't stay mad at him forever, okay?" Namjoon murmured after I had vented to him for a good ten minutes. His hand was on the nape of my neck, gently stroking circles against my skin. I knew he just wanted to calm me down but it didn't seem to work, not this time. „Well, it's not like I can just turn it on and off again as I please. And besides… it hasn't been that long and everyone is pretending nothing happened." „Because this is between the two of them. Trust me, I am… angry as well. I have no idea what went through his head at the time… I don't think it was much. And I hate seeing Sue like that." I looked over at him and sighed. „But what are we supposed to do? Yell at him even though she isn't?" „She would never. Even if she wanted to… so maybe we should do it for her." „And then? Make her even more uncomfortable? Pretty sure that is the last thing Sue wants, Ollie." He was right. Of course, he was right. I hated it. The truth was that it wasn't my business, but it was just not fair. No matter the labels or whatever Sue was saying. He had hurt her. And I had been the idiot consoling him right after. Okay, I hadn't known, but it didn't feel good. „I hope… he… gets to cry at least half as much as she probably has." I murmured, less anger in my voice, merely because I was starting to give up, letting my head plop onto Joon's shoulder. „Oh… believe me. He has been crying. You should see his face when he gets to rehearsals after skipping breakfast." I was quiet for a second. „What?" „Well… now I kinda feel bad for him as well." „Jesus, Ollie." Joon was chuckling now. „Maybe, just maybe, if you get into other people's business… at least make up your mind." „Easy for you to say Mister High Horse." „Oh please… he knows how I feel about it. Don't even have to say it." He was probably right again.

SUE

Jimin had just hugged me. Jimin, who I hardly knew... Who had looked at me as if I was a beaten puppy. He had meant good and it made me feel all warm and happy, but only for about a second. Afterwards, it just reminded me that apparently everyone knew. About what had happened in Paris, when I had naively thought most of them didn't even know something had happened between Jin and me in the first place. But no, they all knew and gave me those looks. Poor little Sue.

I had been sipping a pint of beer for about half an hour without making much progress. The pub Jimin, Gloria, Ollie and I had visited had a dartboard and while these people could have been seeing the world - we were in London, god damn it! - that seemed to be the most important and most entertaining thing right now. Maybe it would have felt like that to me as well if I hadn't spent the last couple of nights alone in my hotel room. They had dragged me out of there eventually and I was grateful, at the same time I didn't know how to act around them though. Welcoming all stereotypes about being a true introvert I had brought a book today. Which helped a little, even though my thoughts kept drifting elsewhere and sometimes I would just look out of the window I was leaning against for minutes at a time.

Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe with time, I would enjoy it, being out with my friends. Seeing the world, even though right now it was only through a window. Maybe eventually that would be more important than constantly replaying in my head what had happened.

There was a constant stream of people rushing by, from time to time some of them would stop by the menu next to me on the window. The sun reflecting in it made them not even realize I was there. After a while I ignored them as well, only realizing Namjoon was now the one standing in front of it after he had gotten out of a cab and stood there for a couple of minutes. When I looked up and recognized him he was typing on his phone, seconds later I heard Ollie over at the dartboard picking up. About to get back to my book I suddenly froze. Namjoon wasn't alone. Jin was right next to him, leaning against the window on my other side. He was so close, if the window hadn't been there I could have just reached out and touched his arm. His - from my view - sudden appearance made me flinch. And still, I was looking at him.

He looked tired. Even though I couldn't hear Namjoon, I could see his lips moving, but Jin was just standing there, an arm against the window, looking to the ground. "Oh yeah, no you got the right place... I can see you, come in!" I heard Olivia saying halfway across the bar and Namjoon looked up, smiling, waving. He was about to come in but turned around to Jin when he realized his friend wasn't moving. I could almost hear him sigh, just because it was so obvious and it looked like he was trying to persuade Jin to join him, one hand on his shoulders, his face somewhere between annoyed and encouraging. I had noticed that Namjoon was extra nice to me over the last couple of days and rather quiet towards his best friend. But now he was trying to convince a not really enthusiastic Jin to come inside. What I hated most about it was that I wanted him to leave but that there was also a little part of me that wanted him to stay.

They kept talking but eventually, Joon just dragged Jin in and they joined the others. It took a while for either one of them to realize that I was over at the table with the jackets and bags. Namjoon saw me first, smiled at me and raised his hand to say hi. Jin just froze. His eyes seemed to flicker between me and the window - where he had just been standing - and then me again. Slowly he nodded, tried a smile and I tried to copy it - out of politeness - but it didn't work properly. Getting back to my book was hard after that, I noticed him looking over from time to time. And when he eventually walked over I swear I stopped breathing for a bit,.

He sat down on the other side of the booth, facing me, sliding down the backrest with his hands still in his pockets. But he didn't say anything, which after a while pissed me off enough to look up. "What?" I murmured under my breath. The way his eyes were wide open made me think he was somewhat surprised by my reaction, but to be honest: so was I. "Nothing... I just... wanted to say hi." I took a deep breath. "Hi." "Hi." Great. "Jin, I really don't want to talk, I don't feel so great and..." When I looked up I couldn't help but stop right away. There were tears in the corners of his eyes. He tried to hide them by looking away and blinking, but they were there... and of course, that shouldn't have changed anything but it made my heart ache and my lips quiver. "Okay then... just give me a second... and then I'll join the others." He replied and the tone of his voice made me look down again.

OLIVIA

I was hiding in Namjoon's chest, my arms around his waist, but looking over at our table. Didn't look good. Instead of sighing I just buried my chest in Joon's sweatshirt. The fabric was soft and I could feel his body heat through it, which was somewhat comforting. After a while, if I concentrated well enough I could usually make out his heartbeat. I lost it again when he moved one of his hands to my back to stroke it, still watching Jimin's sad attempt at turning this round of darts around in his favour. I felt thankful. And even more so when...

A little tap on my back. "Hey, look. I think your friends are here."

I hadn't seen any of them since I had left the city. Many weren't left to be honest. Because most of them had been Micky's friends first and also they had kept quiet all that time he had been cheating on me. I had been way too hurt to even consider talking it out with them and leaving had felt so easy at the time. But there were a few that I was still in contact with from time to time, people I had met through Georgia, old colleagues, my former next-door neighbour. So I had invited them for a drink here, fully aware it would mean I would have to give them a stern talking to about not posting anything on social media. But that was still better than facing them by myself. I still couldn't forget what it felt like after the thing with Micky had come out. All those pitiful looks and questions. It was in the past, I was over it and really not in the mood. If I met anyone... I wanted it to be a happy memory and not just flashbacks to darker times.

There were a lot of hugs and smiles and I thought I had made the right decision. Until... "You... you invited him?" Joon suddenly murmured in my direction after I had introduced him to some people. I looked up at him - a little confused - then where he was looking and my mouth fell open. "No... definitely not." Micky.

A little shy smile on his face, his hair a lot longer than when I had seen him last, Burberry coat. Definitely Micky. He raised a hand to greet me but didn't seem in a rush to come over, as if he was too polite and wanted to give me time to say Hello to the other people around me first. Which I did, mainly because I was so shocked. Why the fuck was he here.

But before I could talk to him or even finish my thought on what I wanted to say or do... Namjoon had stepped away from me and up to Micky. I couldn't help noticing that Micky straightened up his posture right away to make up for the few centimetres he was missing on Namjoon. For a second I was scared Joon was going to push him - which I really should have known better - but he stopped right in front of him. I got there three seconds later, suddenly in a rush to get between them. Some "Hey" "Hello" "Nice to see you!"s later and Namjoon was still apparently silently judging Micky's mere existence. "What are you doing here Micky?" I finally got out. He didn't answer for a few seconds before giving me a crooked smile. "I see... you two are... back... great. So happy for you."

I had no idea where this was heading, why he had decided to show up, but I could feel how tense everything was. And I didn't like it, it scared me actually. Namjoon had not said a word yet and Micky was acting like a teenager, trying to provoke. Or at least it felt that way. It had only been a few minutes, but I already knew that I couldn't leave these two alone with each other.

"I mean it. What are you doing here?" I asked again, incredibly thankful that my voice hadn't been giving in even though it had felt as if it could have happened any second. Finally, Micky managed to look at me instead of Joon. "Well, I heard you were in town and knew it would probably be a while before that happens again, right? So I wanted to say Hi. I figured you wouldn't mind...the whole gang seems to be back together." "The gang" was - aside from never having been called the gang before - not back together. This was a random assortment of my friends and sure some of them he knew as well. But what made me even angrier was...

"Actually, I do mind." I murmured and stared at him. "Ollie...come on. Don't be like that. You can't be happy with the way we left things after we saw each other last? We both said some really ugly things and I figured..." "Pretty sure you figured enough." Namjoon suddenly hissed at him. And I agreed. Still, my hand shot to his between our bodies, maybe to hold him back if I had to. Another little trace of reflex Micky had left in my subconscious, feeling like you should make sure your partner wouldn't get too angry. But Namjoon just held my hand and starred at Micky, so little expression on his face he looked like a completely different person. "Okay, okay, calm down." Micky said with laughter in his voice, his hands raised in front of his body as if he wanted to downplay the whole thing. Belittle Joon. "I just wanted to grab a beer, no need to be so sensitive...and..."

"OH MY GOD, FUCK OFF!" The words had been on my mind. But it wasn't me who had said them. Or rather roared them. I looked to the side. So did Joon. Micky. Probably half the pub. Next to us, in front of our table stood Sue. Her face full of surprise about what she had just done. It looked as if she had gotten up to keep Jin from interfering who had gotten up as soon as he had seen Namjoon's facial expressions. Now Jin was standing next to Sue and his face was so full of admiration and pride... if his eyes hadn't been so red and his heart so heavy, he would have exploded with how much he liked her. But my eyes were still on Sue. I had seen her blush plenty of times but never so much so quickly.

And then I had to snort, turning around to Micky again. "You know what? She is right. Just fuck off. I have no idea what you want... but I also don't care. Just... fuck off." I could feel Namjoon's face against the side of my head and only when I turned around I realized that he was doing that to hide a huge grin. Instead of seeing through that Micky actually left I just dragged Namjoon back to the other people with me. I kept myself from checking for a while but when I finally looked back to the door Micky was gone. Namjoon was still giggling into my hair. Most people around me seemed either very amused or very confused... Finally, I turned around to 'my saviour' and saw Sue standing there welling up. Quickly I moved over to her, she was already shaking her head.

"Sorry Ollie, I have no idea what came over me. I don't feel like myself." With a smile on my face, I hugged her tight. "No...Don't apologize. That was brilliant. You are so right, I should have told him the same damn thing as soon as he set his foot through the door." When I let go of her again it was slowly and Sue was nodding. I could only pray she was actually agreeing. She used one sleeve of her sweater to wipe her eyes and then - to my surprise - the other one to reach for Jin's hand, who was still standing next to us. It was only a second later that she realized...remembered...whatever. The gentlest of touches, but when she did remember she flinched back, looked up at him in apology. "Shit. Okay. Guys. I am going back to the hotel. I am exhausted. So sorry, I really hope you have a great night."

Jin had insisted on bringing her to the hotel. Sue had said no. Only allowed for him to call her an Uber. Now he was sitting by the window, just where Sue had sat earlier, with his head in his hands and staring outside. I only stopped looking over at him when two arms wrapped themselves around my body from behind. To my surprise, it wasn't Joon but Tae, who lifted me up for a little bit and then let go when I started complaining, only to give me an incredibly tight hug after. "Asshole can get lost." was all he had to say while hugging me with a smile on his lips and it took me a split second before I realized that he didn't mean Jin. Thank god, my heart would have broken. He meant Micky. Smiling I stroked his mop of black hair for a while and he took my hand to drag me back to the dartboard.

I felt euphoric, imagined this was what people who came back from war triumphant felt like. Which was of course a horrible comparison especially considering that I had hardly done anything. Also, I hadn't been to war... Namjoon soon shushed away Tae - who seemed a little upset but then got cuddles from Gloria instead - putting his arms around me from behind, leaning his chin on my shoulder.

I felt safe. Maybe a hundred different thoughts should have been rushing through my head. Everything from wishing I didn't need Joon or Sue or anyone to stand up for me to what if Micky got angry and dropped my secret - our secret - somewhere online. But for the moment I couldn't help letting go of all that. Just enjoying the fact that I was surrounded by so many people dear to my heart.

In fact... there were even more people dear to my heart... or at least dear to other people in my life around than I had thought. Anyone had thought. Which both Namjoon and I realized at the same exact moment. When a pair of fingers appeared on Joon's upper arm, tapping him and we both looked around to see who it was.

Standing there, as per usual a gentle smile on his lips but still... it was as if I could hear Joon's heart drop along with mine at the exact same moment after seeing him... Bang PD. Mister Hitman Bang.

Out of reflex, Joon let go of my arms, stepping half a step back, but of course, it was too little too late. Even when Hobi - and through him, everyone - realized Bang was here, his eyes were still on us. Namjoon really. And now I didn't feel so safe anymore.