A/N: Here it is. What we have ALL been waiting for. I hope guys feel as hot n' bothered as I am. Oh boy. Also, officially ahead by 1 and a half chapters! But I could not wait any longer to post this.
Atem's POV
The fire burning in the sky as Ra descends from a day in the heavens is normally so beautiful but without you here to share in its splendor this sight is wasted upon me. I barely even feel the chill on the wind through your jacket because my senses feel muted. All except scent… which is possibly the worst right now. The gentle scents wafting in the wind of various foods being cooked, of fireplaces being stoked, of ice on the horizon pales in comparison to the painfully intoxicating scent you have left on this one piece of clothing. It feels like you're here with me but my heart has never been more aware of your absence than in this moment.
I've spent all day thinking about nothing else but our fight. Our very first fight. Over something so stupid.
I should have breathed. I should have stopped. I should have thought beyond my own anger. This is not the first time my emotions have controlled me. Not the first time they have almost cost us something dear. Not the first time they have gotten me into trouble. 5000 years and I still have not learned to be my own master. I remember getting into a fight with a boy my age once. It almost cost him his life because I was the Prince of Egypt and I could not control my temper. He picked on my friend… and that is how I justified it. I remember almost costing my father a trade deal because I would not conform to his ideal of arranged marriages. I am glad that did not turn out in the end for reasons that was not my own but still, again, that was my emotions speaking for me and almost ruining something great for my people.
I remember almost sacrificing Kaiba's life for the chance to rescue Yugi's grandfather, while being in control of his body at the time to do it. I never stopped to think that he was serious. I never stopped to think of how this would haunt Yugi forever if he had not stopped me. I remember his terror of me, of himself for not knowing me as he learned to. The lengths I was willing to go to and people I was willing to hurt … all because I could not stop and think.
And then there's my worst crime: actually succeeding in losing control. It cost me Yugi. I was alone. More alone than I have ever been and I spent 5000 years trapped within my own tomb waiting for Solomon Moto to bring me home. I was more alone than that. When I lost Yugi to the Orichalcos, to my own anger and senseless desire to win, I lost the light within me. It was then I realised that there was no light in me, because it all belonged to him. He was, and is my everything and I gave that up for power. He forgave me somehow and I like to think I have worked on it some… but maybe I haven't.
I don't know what is worse. That I was willing to hurt Koji for hurting Yugi or that I don't know when I would draw the line. If I even would have.
And maybe that is why Yugi is so mad with me. He doesn't wish me to lose myself to this anger that continues to grip me. On the one hand I feel desperate to be rid of this emotion and on the other I still feel the right to be angry at Koji for his crimes. I am aware of how possessive of Yugi I am… is it wrong of me to be this way? Is that also why he is angry with me. Should I not be angry? But everyone else was…
I rest my head miserably on my arms on the railing of this balcony and groan. All day I have been running in circles trying to figure out what I did wrong exactly so I can apologise but I am no closer now than I was when he left. It's almost dinner time and I haven't seen him come out of his room for anything. If I can't figure this out how on earth can I make it up to him. I don't know how many times I've replayed our fight in my mind. All I know for certain is part of the reason he's mad is because I just got out of the hospital. He's worried and I understand that. I can give him that. The Millennium Puzzle has been working hard to keep me where I need to be to recover and he almost lived through me dying twice. I can understand his point of fear there. I might feel fine… but there's no harm in being cautious even for one day. If the roles were reversed I'd be over protective too.
… and maybe that's also the problem. Maybe my desire to fight Koji is me being over protective. Maybe my actions would only bring more harm to him than good. He was saying how dangerous the Yakuza is. I'm aware of what they are and what they do based on his shared knowledge and some of his movies. Unfortunately that is not a lot to go by but it is not something we have ever discussed at length. We've never needed to. Bakura on the other hand is a topic I know intimately. I know the horrors he is capable of and with his torture of Yugi I expect Yugi would to at least to an extent. So maybe, if both have him equally as concerned I should consider the Yakuza just a big a threat. But I still fail to see how Koji can get away with this.
Not to sound terribly possessive in an abusive way but Yugi is mine. He has no right to touch him like that. He's just lucky Yugi broke his hand before he could… and lucky Kaiba happened to be dropping by. With my anger… what scares me the most is that I don't know what I would have done to him.
My heart jumps and I grip onto the railing when I hear him clear his throat behind me. I spin quickly to catch him standing in the door way carrying two bowls of something steaming, dressing in loose pyjama's and a weak, nervous smile upon his soft, beautiful features. I freeze, unsure of what to do lest I do it wrong but also lost because I didn't expect to see him here. I thought he was still in his room, sulking because I'm too stupid to apologise.
"You wanna take this, it's kinda hot and heavy." He says shyly, offering me a bowl of what smells like soup. I realise now of course it would be hot so I hurry to take it from him, gentle and careful not to spill it. He's come down here to offer me food and he's got his own with him too which must mean he's come down here to join me. The last thing he needs is for me to blunder and spill boiling hot soup all over him.
"Thank you." I say quietly. He smiles briefly and sets his bowl down on the glass dining table for two out here.
"I'll be right back with water. Do you want some bread?" He asks kindly. I feel bad for accepting anything else from him considering we were fighting but how could I turn down his offer? It's not so much an offer for bread as it is an opening to talk after. How could I say no?
"That would be lovely, thank you." I say politely and he passes me to enter… when I am smacked with the most obvious idea. "Um, want a hand? That's a lot to carry."
"Sure." He says happily.
My heart flutters. Its practically dancing in it's cage. I could almost cry but I will not. Not over bread. That's ridiculous.
So awkwardly I help him as clumsily as I am. We are so miscommunicated here it's almost laughable how we each go for the cups or each go for the bread, trying both to help and stay out of each others way. Eventually we settled on him with two glasses of water and me with a small plate of bread to share. All the while Mr. Moto watched this entire charade with the biggest and most amused smile on his face. While we've been fighting and the shops been closed he's seen not much more than me moping all day so … I guess this is entertaining for him.
We eat in plentiful silence… but I enjoy it all the same. The soup is delicious and hot and quickly filling considering I haven't eaten much today. Even when I was hungry earlier I couldn't force myself to eat more than two Falafels… and that's saying something. Yugi on the other hand hasn't come down for anything but unlike me he had an appetite. I could barely finish my soup so I gave what was left to him to finish. Beyond that our conversation was sparse… but again I just enjoyed his company. Even if we're not talking I'm just happy he's here. But I don't deserve this happiness yet. The foulness of today was my cause… I can't redo the day but I can apologise and soften it taste.
"Yugi. I'm … I'm sorry for today." I say sincerely as he sips the rest of my bowl. He side eyes me, paused in the motion before he remembers what he was doing. I contain the giggle because he is too cute to take seriously like that and I actually do wish to talk with him now. He politely finishes the bowl, takes a sip of water and pats down his lips with his sleeve before he faces me wearing a new look of resolve and words on his tongue he's building the courage to say. Whatever he has to dish at me I am willing to accept. Anything to help me realise exactly how he is feeling.
"I'm sorry too. For not coming down. I stayed in my room all day like a coward. It was childish of me not to seek you out so we could talk about it like adults. I was punishing you for something you didn't do and that wasn't fair of me. I didn't listen to you and I should have let you have a voice. Especially when that voice is the same one I would have had were our roles reversed. I'm sorry too."
I … was not expecting that. I … no. He doesn't need to apologise. I mean… his words sound accurate and fair … I can accept them but no I don't need an apology.
"Yugi, I don't require an apology from you. I am the one who needs to apologise. It is I who did not listen to you. I am the one who took your feelings for granted and did not give you a chance to explain your point of view. I let my emotions control me again when I swore to you I would I could learn to control them. Letting them rule me is how I lost you last time and this time I am unsure of what I would have done had Kaiba and had you not stopped me. On top of that you are right. I might feel fine under the protection of the Millennium Puzzle but it is still glowing and I do still feel it giving me strength. It has been working non stop for a week to keep us both healthy and strong and I mustn't take it for granted. If I push it or myself … I worried you and I should have considered that. You were the one with a level head this morning and I should have listened to you. Taken a moment to breathe and listen. I am sorry Yugi. Today was my fault and I am willing to accept the responsibility for that."
There. I said it. And it feels right. I think I understand what I've been struggling over now. I think I understand why he was so angry with me now that I have spoken out loud. He was worried about my health, worried about what my anger could bring back to us and worried that I wouldn't listen to reason. It is okay for me to be angry about it just as long as I don't let it rule me.
"We're all slaves to our emotions. It's rare for anyone to always be in control all the time. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself for being angry earlier. I don't blame you for that… in fact you wanting to protect me like that is actually endearing I just … didn't want you to get hurt. You weren't thinking clearly and I needed to be the voice that made you stop and think, even if it means standing against you. But I shouldn't have left you to stew all day. That was immature of me." He says bashfully, avoiding my eye contact and fidgeting with his hands.
I don't understand him. I don't understand how it is possible for someone so bewildering and so kind to exist and have him not be an actual God. How does he forgive so easily? What's more is how can he make me feel as if everything I have scolded myself for today is nothing? I feel as if every hour that miserably passed today has been wiped clean and erased, leaving only a trace memory of its existence to serve as a passing of time. In some strange miracle that is Yugi Moto he has made me feel 100 x lighter than I was half an hour ago. Here I was standing here numbly in the presence of a beautiful and yet dull sunset and now I sit here basking in his radiant light as if he shone brighter than the stars above us.
"You fascinate me." I laugh once, casting my gaze away to something more tangible: the stars beginning to glint and dazzle on the darkening velvet sky. I sense him look at me but I do not meet him. I will be lost if I do. At least the stars make sense to me.
"How so?" He asks curiously. I smile, simply enjoying this moment while it lasts because in this second everything is pure and true.
"Your kindness astounds me. You don't see how strong your light is. How undeserving I am of it." I say solemnly. I realise now though how depressing that sounds and I am quick to back track. "Not that I am pitying myself just that I am truly sorry for earlier and I feel I should work for your forgiveness rather than just have you hand it to me." I laugh nervously, hoping he understands.
The soft, kind and warm look he wears though melts me in seconds and then I watch as he stands and kneels before me so we're actually almost at eye level. I'm still slightly taller than him but as he kneels between my knees and manoeuvres my hands to grant him easy access to me, his slides his surprisingly cold hands under my (his) jacket and cuddles me, still holding my very confused gaze though. He's so at ease though and so relaxed it's hard not let myself relax with him. So slowly I fall into the trap of his warmth until my hands brush against his waist and lightly tug on his shirt because for the first time all day I have him to myself and I missed him so much despite being only a floor apart. It just felt so much further.
"You don't need to work for anything. I know for a fact I'd have wanted to do the same. I'm not as light as you give me credit for."
I must disagree but he doesn't look finished… so I'll hold off on that statement. His eyes flash with the slightest twerk of his lips failing to hide the cheek underneath. The same cheek I adore and gets me so excited. I love how his mind works, how easily he can play and convince me to join him. With just the slightest tell I know him. And beyond the obvious message this also tells me we are okay. All day sulking? It doesn't matter anymore because it's all in the past and he is inviting me to move on with him.
"But… if you really want to work for it I can think of a way or two you can make it up to me. I'll even show you my not so light side." He says with a slight tilt of his head, the cutest nibble of his lips and the deepest pull of desire in his eyes I am drawn to. He is like a black hole pulling me in. Like a magnet I can't resist. He is gravity and I am his slave. What spells he casts on me … and I am willing to obey them.
"What did you have in mind?" I ask him quietly, taking my voice down a tone or two to keep it enticing. He has me wrapped around his finger… but that doesn't mean I can't do the same to him. He already knows too well how much I want him in my arms but I won't relinquish all of my power to him so easily. I want him to want me too.
"We could go upstairs, keep each other warm. My bed's been lonely all day without you." He says, leaning closer. His eyes are glued to my lips and the deepest blush is heating the tops of his cheeks. His mind is going wild I can practically feel it buzzing. I wonder…
I wonder if he … wants to … go all the way. I know he does, he's said as much and his reaction this morning was sign enough he still wants to. He's been waiting for me so patiently but it's getting harder for him to resist. I know it is. He's like a cat in heat every time we get close like this, it's almost fun making him wait. But I wonder how much longer he can take before he loses interest, or takes it from me. Not that he would ever push my boundaries but do I want to make him wait much longer? Am I ready yet to take that from him?
He's so close to me now. I can feel his breath on my lips, feel the heat coming off his cheeks. His fingers flex and pull at my shirt and his lashes are fluttering between closed and half closed. I want to taste him again; to be lost in his flavours and his wet warmth within. I want him to let his inner beast out and take everything I've deprived him of… and I want to too. I want his body against mine. I want to feel the passion we're keeping locked away inside that's been too long jailed. One word is all it will take… but I must ask the question.
"Yugi…" I whisper. Even voiceless I am shaking with nerves suddenly racing to embrace me. If I ask this am I consenting? He will say yes, I know he will so what is making me hesitate? I want this. I want him so much. I want every inch of him to belong to me and he is willing to give everything to me. But… what if I hurt him? What if I ruin his first experience? What if I don't please him? What if he never wants to again afterwards? There's so much pressure and I've already screwed up once today.
I can't speak. Even my mouth is failing me. My lips are dry, my throat feels like sandpaper. I've forgotten how to form words. What if I ask him in Egyptian? What if I kill this mood because I've forgotten how to speak his language?
As I am stuck on my brain failing to function the gods see fit to relieve me of this pressure by stunning me with a tiny wet drop. I blink and shake as the cold penetrates my skin but then I notice… behind Yugi… everywhere they fall. My brain goes numb. My mouth forgets it was struggling and hangs open as I gaze upon the gentle, mesmerizing show behind him. They move so slowly, falling from the heavens in tiny white balls of cotton and it is beautiful. So, so beautiful.
In my peripheral I notice Yugi look up at me and then he follows my gaze behind him and gasps, laughing slightly and quietly as if scared of frightening them off. He looks back to me and I catch his gaze briefly, smiling back at him before I look back out to the sea of graceful baby balls of snow falling before us.
He takes my hand and pulls me up to stand by the rail where the snow can easily fall above us. We are not protected by the roof here and as I look directly above us I cannot help the stunned look I must be wearing.
"Winter's first snow." Yugi mutters gently beside me and the words were never so beautiful. So young. I've seen snow before, felt it in his body but this … this is incomparable. This is phenomenal. This is breathtaking and awe inspiring. This … this is … there are no words.
I feel more wetness on my cheeks but I did not see any snow come near me. I feel it is hot though and I go to wipe it off which makes me realise it wasn't snow… but tears. I am crying. This is ridiculous. Why am I crying? This is beautiful, not sad.
"What's wrong?" Yugi asks me, concerned and helping me wipe my tears away. I lean into his hand and hold it there, letting them fall because nothing is wrong.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." I say sweetly. He looks confused though and I honestly cannot tell anymore what is more beautiful to me. The snow falling around us like a magical fairy tale, or the god standing before me bathed in light.
"This moment." I say, swapping his hand for his chin and bringing us close again. In an instant his breath catches, his body tenses with anticipation and his eyes semi close to lock onto my lips. How quick he is to forget his surroundings. But I am not. I will remember this moment for the rest of my days. I will dream of it. And when we are old I will retell it, over and over again as one of the most precious moments in my life. I will remember everything from the fight we had earlier, to the soup we shared tonight, to the very first drop, to everything that follows. I will remember it all, even if he is lost to me now. "This moment is perfect." I whisper.
I close the distance now, letting the heat of his lips sear my skin and our hearts beat furiously against our cages to try and get to one another. He breathes me in, moving his lips to part mine and I am a slave to his whim. I hold him close, letting his hands roam and squeeze and pull on my shirt under my jacket as slowly… so slowly, our kiss starts from something deep and slow to something desperate and needy. He is so hot against me and I wonder if the reason the snow does not cover us is because we are melting it before it can.
I've come to a conclusion though. One that I am sure of now. One that lets me take my time with him because I have never been more sure. All of my concerns before, no matter how legitimate they are, boil down to one thing: perfection. I want his first time to be perfect. I want to provide him this perfection… and I am not sure how but I am sure now that I can do this. There is no more a perfect time than right now.
"Yugi." I say against his lips. He keeps kissing me though, lost completely to making out but what I want to offer him will be something he will want to stop for. I kiss him back a few more times, keeping my mouth closed off from his eager tongue and soon he gets the hint, kissing me with gentle but begging lips. I can finally move my head in a way that he starts kissing my jaw and for a moment I let my hips roll into him, resisting soooooo hard not to moan. If his grandfather saw us like this it would be mortifying. Kissing is one thing, but this is almost dry humping and I don't think he knows where we are.
"Yugi, I want to ask you something." I whisper in his ear as he kisses the barely exposed area of my neck.
"Mm?" He hums, moving back up to try and kiss my lips again. God is he impossible like this.
I take his head in my hands and steady him, resting my forehead against his so I gaze straight into his beautifully large, lust darkened eyes.
"Do you want to? With me? Do you want to go all the way?" I ask him. I could have been more eloquent… but my words are what they are I guess. I don't exactly have a lot of brain power right now to think of a more beautiful way to ask but the question seems to seep through.
The fog begins to clear and his heated breathing becomes steady. He looks at me, replaying my question in his mind over and over and searching for any hesitation I might be holding. But he won't find any. I am sure of this now.
"Really?" He asks and I smile. That's a good a yes as any.
"Really." I nod and his smile sets my heart ablaze. His chest heaves with the excitement that just took hold of him and that chew of his lip… oh my god I want to take over for him. Let me nibble on him instead.
"Yes." He whispers and there has never been a sexier word than that.
He kisses me deeply with enough force it pushes me back but before I can get lost into it he breaks it and rushes to the table.
I had forgotten about our dishes… I suppose we should bring those in first. So I help him.
To my stunned fear Mr. Moto was just inside the loungeroom planted on his arm chair reading a book. The curtains were drawn enough so he might not have seen us but it wouldn't have been hard to catch us. Still I keep my head down as we pass, dishes in hand and practically jogging to the kitchen.
"It's snowing." Yugi says cheerfully. I suppose he's trying to distract from anything suspicious.
"Is it?" Mr. Moto asks lazily. Thank the Gods I am already passed him so he cannot chance a glance at the stiffness I am hiding. This is hard enough without that on my mind.
"Yep." Yugi calls back. We stack the dishes in the sink, giving them a very quick rinse first before we swiftly, but not too suspiciously, race towards the stairs.
"Keep the noise down up there and Yugi remember what I said to you earlier." Mr. Moto calls after us.
I'm not sure what he means but I can only guess and I hope I'm wrong. I wait til we're securely in his room though to ask.
He takes out one of his ties from the wardrobe though … and I watch him in utter confusion as he hang it around the doorknob outside his room before he closes it and locks it. I am so confused.
"He told me to be careful, remember?"
I thought as much… does that mean he knows what we're up to? How? And …
"What's with the tie?" I ask him as he comes up to me, slowly entwining his fingers with mine.
"I'm being careful. I don't want him walking in or knocking on the door."
Perfection. This is going to be perfect.
"Are you sure?" He asks me. I know what he's doing. He's nervous I'll back down. Scared I'll retreat but I cannot do that to him. I've set him a blaze too many times before and even so, I do not want to. I want to make him mine and give myself to him. Fully and completely. I want to give him everything and finally take us further than we've ever been.
I'm nervous on where to start but if Shimons advice rings true then we will know. This is a dance of the heart and bodies know the steps. The only thing our minds need to do is consent and enjoy.
"Yes. I am yours, Yugi." I whisper hotly against his lips and capturing them a moment later.
He kisses me with such fervour and desire it is easy to be swept away from. Our hands are clumsily exploring one another, failing at removing our clothes as we are torn between what's to come and this moment now. I manage to steal a handful of his ass through his pyjama pants though and I push his hips into mine, grinding my already very hard erection against his. I cant really tell how hard he is through how tight my jeans are but the moan he feeds into me is delicious.
He chews on my lip until I pull away from him and he uses this opportunity to slide his jacket off me. I take my puzzle off for this. As much as I'm sure I could use it's strength to keep me going it is really going to get in the way here and the last thing I want to ruin any of this is the heavy gold of it hitting my chest or possibly even hurting him. I'm sure it will be fine for a while. He then lifts my shirt off with ease, kissing my skin as I become exposed to him. It's cold outside my clothing and I almost don't look forward to removing my jeans but as quick as the thought is birthed he takes an already hard nipple into his mouth and sucks and licks it with his scaldingly hot tongue. He doesn't leave the other untouched though. With his other hand he twists and rubs and pinches the other all the while hungrily breathing in my scent. My body tingles from his affections and I feel the blood rushing throughout everywhere, threatening to burn me from the inside out. My only outlet is running my hands through his hair and gasping, closing my eyes and just letting myself take in this massive turn of events.
He pushes me back until my legs give to his bed and I fall back onto it. I narrowly miss the wall but quick as anything he is on me, kissing me hungry and desperately as his hands massage my muscles, glide across my skin, skittering along until he finds a place to caress and move on. He's all over me, simply letting himself indulge and I love it. He's been holding so much back but with this permission he's savouring everything I have to offer him and he hasn't even reached my goods yet; which are aching to be set free. I try to encourage him to climb down with gentle rolls of my hips and eventually he takes his kisses and his wandering tongue down my jaw, past my neck, lingering on my nipples briefly before continuing down my abdomen, along my toned muscles of my stomach and teasing my pant line. I'm so hard underneath I can almost feel his tongue brush my tip as his hands mischiefly push against my balls over my jeans. Oh the friction is glorious but I want more. I want him. If I'm not careful I'm going to finish before I can even perform. I need to pace myself here.
Ohhh… ohh I forgot what that feels like. Momentarily distracted he undid my belt, my zipper and pulled me out to lick and kiss very smoothly. He hasn't taken me into his mouth yet but ohhhh his hands alone are working my shaft expertly. Stroking up and down he twists his wrists too and sucks on my head with every pass. Oh by the gods I forgot how good this felt. Its been a while since he's taken me like this and it doesn't take long before my hand is forcing his head down as I thrust into his mouth, setting a pace I can I steadily climb to.
As I fuck his face I feel his hands pull on the rest of my jeans and i lift myself up further down his throat so he can pull them off me until I'm completely nude. He needs to breathe after that though so he releases me, letting my wet erection fall against my stomach with a heavy slap. I want him to take more but I must pace myself. So instead I sit up, stopping him from taking me again and I help him stand, undressing him as I turn him around so it is his turn on the bed.
Helping him lay properly in bed I begin by kissing his lips, delving into that hot cave with such eager heat and desire until he's left no choice but to submit to me. Leaning just slightly off him I let my hands roam. I walk my fingers around his heaving chest until I find the small little nub poking up just asking for attention. Just like he did to me I give it a little flick first, loving how he arches his back in response, and then I roll it in my fingers, twisting enough to make him gasp and moan. Free of his intoxicating tastes I kiss his jaw with sweet closed kisses, climbing down until I reach the thin, soft lands of his neck. For a moment I stop here, still twisting and playing with his nipples but I notice it's become instinct to listen and wait for his body's reactions. He's closed his eyes, laying completely still under my mercy, breathing heavily with excitement and anticipation. I can see his cock erect and twitching, just waiting to be played with and he gives off no indication that he's nervous. I gave him a deep love bite yesterday and it's still there, highly visible and it looks painful. He told me he came yesterday just from that so I forcibly remind myself it is okay now to touch him here. Still, I am gentle. I kiss his bruise, lick around it and he shivers. His whole body rattles under me and he laughs so gorgeously.
"You can be more forceful with me if you want." He giggles, lazily running a hand through my hair to encourage me. I chuckle with him at my own silly behaviour. I guess he had me well trained. But now it's time to break that training and explore this new path with him. I do leave the bruise though. I don't want to make it worse. So instead I find a new area to attack. After all there's plenty of him I haven't claimed as my own. I attack his adam's apple briefly with licks and open mouth kisses, loving the vibrations of his voice on my tongue before I find a nice, mark free spot just above his collar bone. I stay here, letting his moans fill the room and loving how much his body rocks with the waves of pleasure. Only when I taste the copper of his blood do I move onto another area. Higher up this time, just under his earlobe. His voice chokes but by his breathing he is loving it. His fingers claw and grasp at my hair but he's pushing me deeper into him. This spot is just above the spot I marked him yesterday and already it feels like his reactions are so much more intense than when I was further down. I wonder if around here is his most sensitive spot; in which case if I am not careful I might just finish him before we go further.
I risk sucking on his skin until again I taste the change, which is quicker than before and then I climb down his body, leaving trails of kisses and licks as I go. I kiss him everywhere, appreciating every inch of him from his shoulders to his finger tips, back to his pecs, his ribs, his toning stomach. I kiss his hips, the dib at his abdomen, the tops of his thighs, the inside of his legs. He is positively quivering with every touch, every breeze. His chest rises and falls as if he has run a marathon, his fingers clutch at his sheets until his knuckles are white. His hips buck encouragingly towards me and his delicious, hard as a rock erection is resting on his abdomen, pulsing with such keen eagerness to be touched. I take my time though kissing the inside of his thighs, avoiding his most delicate areas with fine precision. I know how close he is already with my attention to his neck and I don't want him finishing yet. So I let him settle. I listen to his mewling, his body's vocal way of telling me he wants more but I see the drop of precum leaking out to make the top of his head glisten. If I please him much more he will finish and then he'll be too tired to continue.
Speaking of … how are we going to do this? In my experience, which is not a lot, but this area is supposed to be exceedingly tight. We can do this without lubricant but it won't be pleasant for him, especially not for our first time. We haven't exactly gone to the shops to buy any either. I know saliva is better than water but how good is it for penetration? I don't think we thought this through. Oh if we have to stop now … no we won't. We'd take ourselves to ecstasy without penetration but I would hate to disappoint him… and me for that matter. Taking this step with him is something I feel I want now more than anything. I've never been more ready for this than I am right now.
"At-Atem… hah…" He moans gently, getting up onto his elbows to look at me. I didn't realise I had stopped kissing him but he doesn't seem to mind that. He has a question.
"Yes?"
"Th-the oil. At my bedside table. Should be body safe enough for this."
Was he reading my mind or something? But he's right. It's no lubricant but it's better than nothing. I give him a smile, a pat on his thigh and stand to go retrieve it. When he sees it in my hand he smiles, rolls his hips in excitement and falls back down to breathe deeply.
Oil in hand I read the back of it as I return to his side but what troubles me is the small text here at the bottom. It says this isn't safe to use as a lubricant. Damn it, if we can't use this I doubt my saliva will be enough to do this.
He makes my mind go numb briefly when out of the blue I feel his hand slide up my cock and tug. I look down to him to see him twisted over to me, my cock firmly in his hand as he strokes it and holds my head on his tongue. I am at perfect level for this standing by his bed. It is effortless for him to blow me as I stand here and while he does I barely remember the oil in my hand. In fact if I wasn't squeezing it I would just let him go nuts on me like he is.
"Yu-Yugi… Oh… mmm." Gods how does this feel so good?
"Mmm?" He humms with my cock deep in his mouth. He looks up at me with those huge doe eyes and it's the hottest thing I've ever seen. My cock is thick and pulsing and I can feel everything from the roof of his mouth to the soft tongue underneath massaging me as he looks up at me, waiting. Just how long can he hold his breath for? His hand is still stroking what he can't fit but it's slower now but then… oh he wants me to cum. This cheeky brat. Then he pulls back, letting my cock slide out of his mouth and his saliva mixed with my precum dribbles down his chin. He licks his lips, shyly wiping it all from himself and then looks up at me again with that cheeky little smug grin of his.
"Yes, my King?"
Oh my gods. Could he be more perfect?
I shake it from my mind as best as I can but I am throbbing. Even if we get to do this I doubt I will last long.
"Th-this says it's not safe to use as a lubricant." I say with a great deal of strain. He gently takes it from me and lays back to read it and I stand here, resisting the urge to stroke myself. I know the moment I touch I won't be able to stop… so instead I lay next to him and let my hands wander over his stomach, walk down to his thigh and I trace my finger up and down slowly until I reach his hip joint. He moans once, chewing his lip as he concentrates on reading the text.
"It should be okay for this. It says here it's safe to use on all body areas but if I read up correctly then body oils aren't good only because they increase the risk of STI's and pregnancy but not because of any allergens or effects. I think it should be okay." He says happily but I'm not so sure. Still… he hands it back to me and gives me an encouraging nod of assurance. "We'll look into getting proper lube but for now I really think this will be fine." He says. I do trust him. He knows more about this stuff than I do and if it says it's body safe perhaps the disclaimer is there because of that warning he read about. Okay.
"Alright. I've never done this so I'll be gentle. You tell me if it's too much." I say and he nods.
I am nervous now though. Everything we did we let our bodies do the talking but this here isn't a body thing. I have to use the right amount of oil, test the right way of doing this and pay attention to every detail so I don't hurt him. I can't let my body steer this right now or I will hurt him. But… before that. Lets try to relax him.
I climb down and lay on my stomach between his legs, lifting them up to rest against my shoulder. He's completely exposed to me with his erection still laying on his abdomen albeit just a little bit softer now from the interruption. His entrance is small the way he moves his hips and arches his back I can tell he's anxiously excited. I can't just start here though so I kiss his thighs again, inching myself closer and closer to his dick until I reach my prize. He breathes heavily, a slight whimper on his voice as I drag my tongue up his length. He tastes just as I remember with that slight tang that leaves me wanting more. It's such a strange and unique flavour I can barely describe except for Yugi. It tastes like Yugi.
I lift his cock and take it into my mouth completely so I have free availability of my hands. He lifts himself but from this position it's difficult to maintain so I push his hips back down and keep him here until he stops fighting me. I understand how difficult it is to resist the urge to buck but I must keep him still.
Sucking on his cock until I feel it become so hard in my mouth and I taste the hints of what is edging closer, my hands massage his thighs, the cheeks of his ass. My thumb rolls closer to his entrance, loosening his tension until I'm confident enough to try. I try to make sure the opening of the bottle is quiet. I don't want to break his relaxation if he knows that it's about to happen. Thankfully with his cock deep down my throat and my tongue doing that thing he loves, he's unable to hear the bottle opening. Particularly over his moans and the way he's trying to keep his back down. He knows not to move his hips, so he's resorted to grasping at the bed sheets and pushing his shoulders back into the bed but his body wants to rise so he's sort of half laying down and mid way lifting himself up. This internal war is satisfying to watch, especially since I am the reason he feels such mind numbing bliss.
I let him go briefly and he falls back down, breathing heavily in relief. His cock is so wet from both me and him. I could feel him start to throb and I know that if I had held him in my mouth any longer he would have came. I almost wish I had but now that I have him as relaxed as I'm going to get and my fingers are well and truly oiled up, I kiss his balls to distract him as my fingers roll and gently coat his entrance. It seems no amount of distraction though is going to pull his attention from there. He jolts with a sharp whimper but to my surprise he quickly retains his control and relaxes again. He squirms slightly as my fingers brush against his opening but the squirming is more him trying to aid me than to get away. He follows my fingers with his hips, trying to raise them to make it easier for me. This is encouraging. If he was uncomfortable with this he'd be trying to get away from the foreign touches.
"P-please don't t-tease." He whimpers. I chuckle quietly and filled with a new confidence, I push my index finger in gently and slowly. With the oil it didn't take too much to breach him but he is very tight. However getting past my nail it gets a little easier to inch myself in further. That first breach was the most difficult but with how tight this muscle is I almost fail to see how I'll fit in another finger or two… or myself for that matter.
He moans and gasps and tries not to wiggle his hips as my fingers slides inside him very slowly. I don't want to hurt him but also I am trying very hard not to imagine what this will feel like around my cock. He is tight and hot and wet and soft and glorious just on my finger alone. I reach my knuckle and pull out, but not all the way before I push back in. It's easier now, with each pass it gets easier and he encourages me with sweet little murmurs between his moans.
Only when I have quickened this pace do I pull out all the way and try with two fingers. He opens for me a lot easier now but two fingers and he's gone back to being tight. I let him adjust to the new width, kissing his inner thigh as I push inside him and he pushes against me to make me move faster. He's so impatient but I love it. I watch him roll his hips onto my fingers on his own. I'm barely moving save just to guide the direction but he's the one moving, using his entire muscle group to fuck himself with my fingers. It's so beautiful … and so hot. I want him to do this with my cock but I must work him up to that. One more finger and we can try me. I pull out gently and he stops, moaning and whimpering for more. I don't make him wait for long, introducing a third finger to his very eager hole. This one is tough though. Two fingers is easy enough now but a third and even he is careful. With extreme caution I push, move my fingers around and kiss his thighs to help him relax. I don't push all the way like we were doing with 2 fingers but I push enough that it feels like we can go no further. I need to spread him more though and three fingers isn't enough, so I try moving them inside him. That instantly relaxed him. I don't know if he was caught off guard or if that pleased him to that point but pulling out and pushing back in is so much easier and his moans are a lot less strained.
It's getting so impossible to resist now though. My head is on fire and I can feel myself itching to take my hands place. His dick has softened a little bit, just enough to hide his veins but his body is screaming for more. I think it's time now. I think we should try.
"Yugi…" I whisper nervously.
"Yes. Now. Please." He breathes desperately. I love how he knows my queues.
Gently I pull out of him and I adore the whimper that follows, the move of his hips as he searches for whats missing. I need more oil for this though so as I get up onto my knees and position him for easier access, I lather up my cock, trying exceptionally hard not to come from the strokes alone. He watches me, aiding me by getting himself into a comfortable position. He even shoves a pillow under his back to help lift his hips. His legs are still over my shoulders giving me full access to everything I need. Lathered up I use what's left to coat his entrance again and test him with my thumb, making sure he's still open and relaxed enough. My cock is just thicker than 3 of my fingers so it's going to be tight but it's rounder too and softer. This shouldn't be too hard.
Still, I gaze at him and lean heavily against the back of his thighs to stroke his cheek lovingly. He leans into the cup of my palm, sighing gently with the cutest smile on his lips. I can't describe the shade of red he is or the look of lust and love in his eyes. I've never seen him look more sure of anything. He's nervous but only slightly. Not more than expected. Nowhere near enough to second think this. He's willingly giving me everything he has, willingly letting me take what is most precious of him. Me… a 5000 year old Pharaoh, is the one he has chosen to give himself to and there is no wonder there, no what if's.
I have never felt so whole in my life than I do now with him. Where has he been all my life? I am actually glad that my life lead me here, that destiny brought us together. Thousands of things could have changed, could have interfered but this path lead me to him.
He smiles at me, nudging his ass forward to break me from my spell and I laugh once, looking down at my cock resting comfortably on top of his. We're actually about to do this. Okay… breathe.
"I love you." I say to him, my voice only just above a whisper. He smiles wider and his eyes sparkle with such glee it makes my heart soar even higher.
"I love you." He says back to me, bracing the pillow behind his head as he breathes deeply and watches as I take my cock in hand and feel around for his entrance.
I think I found it; he flinches and settles and I watch his face as I search. His smiles falters when I move away and his brows furrow when I get close.
When I'm sure I have it I gently push. There's a resistance and for a moment I think I don't have it but his breath catches and he holds it and soon after I feel warmth licking at my head. That's it there. I did find it… oh wow. He was tight on my fingers but this… Gods. Don't cum. Don't cum. Don't don't don't. Oh my god.
I concentrate on the sensations, on noting them in my mind because my brain is about to explode with the rest of me. He's so hot and wet and hot… and tight. I can feel everything shifting, parting to grant me access and inch my impossible inch I push in in small increments. I want to thrust but I don't want to hurt him. Oh wow… but if I keep pushing I won't last. So I stay here, just for a moment and I let him settle. I'm about half way into him and already I can feel his insides squeezing me and massaging me as he breathes. I can feel every tiny movement he makes be it from breathing or resisting the urge to move and grind. He's half squinting as he gasps and moans and when he catches me watching him he discards the pillow by his head to reach for me. I oblige eagerly, leaning close to kiss him but as I do I slide in further and he gasps, moaning and throwing his head back, all intention of making out forgotten. I'm afraid of hurting him but I've never heard him make those noises before. They are somewhere between a squeak and mewl, a choked moan but he doesn't sound like he's in pain. Not uncomfortable pain anyway. I'm sure this hurts. No matter how much oil we use I'm sure it hurts being this stretched.
He remembers what he was going to do and reaches for me again, and this time I catch his lips. His licks at my tongue once but then forgets again as I bury myself deeper. I can feel his balls and cock on my stomach, I can feel mine against his cheeks. His knees are almost touching his chest. There's nothing left of me to bury. I am… 100% … actually inside him. This is it. This is us… losing our virginities together. This is us, making love for the first time.
I stay here for a short while, letting him relax and get used to this and letting myself cool down. I'm almost fearful of pulling out. I can't believe how tight this is. It feels so amazing I'm surprised I haven't cum yet. He is breathing so hard but he's getting his focus back. He looks between us and I lift myself up enough so he can see that I am definitely fully inside him.
"W-wow…" He breathes. "You're… you're really… inside."
I smile and touch my nose to his, and for a while we share this moment. Time is all but forgotten for I am lost within his warmth. We are one in such a stronger way than we have ever been. I used to reside within his mind and since then we have been connected in a way that is incomparable to most. When I got my own body there was some adjusting we needed to do but we have grown to love and adapt to one another that almost fixed that. But now… now we are one again, whole, connected in more ways than just mental and this somehow feels so much stronger.
He tilts his head up to kiss me slowly and passionately. It's a soft kiss, one that is meant to feel like our hearts are whispering to one another. Soon though the moment warms up and as I move my lips in rhythm with his he moves his hips to encourage rhythm in mine. I give him one last push and he feeds a deep moan into me before I pull out slowly to my head and delve back inside. I move slowly so I do not hurt him and I feel everything. I feel how his muscles contract, how his heat envelopes me. I feel how he squeezes and how every one of his breaths changes the way his body contorts and flexes. Soon his body is relaxing enough that I can move faster and smoother until we're at a steady rhythm. I feel like I'm going to cum soon but I don't want to, so I try - heaven forbid- to think of anything else. I don't want to finish until he's satisfied, until he does and we did a lot to get here. I want to make the most of this.
So I stop for a moment to lean back up, holding his legs against me comfortably. I can see his body now glued to my crotch and as I pull out of him I can see my cock being swallowed by his hole. It's amazing I can fit inside him and it's so hot watching him take me whole. Watching how his cock twitches and throbs each time I push inside. I can move so much more freely up here and the pacing becomes steadily quicker and easier to do. He moans every time I push and as we get comfortable with this he props himself onto his elbows to watch, needing to close his eyes every now and then. Gods how can he feel this good?!
I love everything thats happening right now. I never want to do anything else but fuck him ever again. I want to do everything to him but I can't stop thrusting. We can't change position because I don't want to stop. Oh my god!
I feel his hands on my knees behind him but he's not telling me to stop. He's just looking for somewhere of me to touch as I thrust inside him but I catch myself moving faster and faster until he screams his next moan loudly. In an instant he falls back, arching his back and muffling his strangled noises with his hand. He's not cumming but I'm scared I hurt him. I slow down to almost a stop and but instead of relaxing one of his hands smacks my knee repeatedly. I don't know what he wants though. Does he want to stop? Did I hurt him. I must have hurt him. Shit. Gently I pull out of him and lean over to touch his cheek but as I'm no longer inside him he whines and whimpers.
"Yugi… what's wrong?" I ask him, my voice on the urge of panic. He looks at me with some form of desperation in his eyes.
"Get back inside me. Keep moving. Do that again. Please do that again." He begs of me. I'm confused though… do what again? Thrust that fast? Is he not hurt after all?
"Fast?" I ask and he nods rapidly.
"Fast. Deeper. Oh my god hit me there again. Please." He's almost crying but out of sheer ecstasy. Oh I … I must have hit his sensitive spot. I see.
Carefully I slowly enter him again, loving how much easier it is to slide inside and I build up to that pace again, trying extraordinarily hard to focus on him and not how good this feels. While I was outside of him my cock was aching with an intense need, but now I feel him squeezing me that need is replaced with an urge to release. I pulse through him at a regular pace, watching his beautiful heated face as he focuses on breathing and that sensation we're searching for.
"De-deeper please. Harder." He whimpers and I obey… which is exactly what he was looking for. I must be hitting that spot again because the moment I do he throws his head back, moaning into his hand with his eyes rolled back. I think I can feel it now. Some kind of soft something and each time I hit it he squirms and moans. It's more of a scream really but it's muffled by his handHis other hand is gripping my leg so tight I fear he'll dig his nails in and soon he replaces the hand at his mouth with his arm to bite on. He never stops moaning though and now I know exactly where he likes it I aim for that spot every single time.
I don't think this is deep enough though. He's loving this but I can get harder. Just not in this position, so I lean forward, pushing his legs closer to his body and putting a lot of my weight on my arms. From here I can hit that spot easier and faster as well at a much more steady pace. I'm going to get tired quicker like this and my cock feels about ready to explode but his moaning becomes choked. I risk my weight to touch his cheek again and he cracks open his eyes which are so dark now I can hardly see any of his beautiful lavender. But I am lost in those eyes though and the red of his cheeks. We breathe and pant together, moaning as my movements slow. Fucking him hard like he likes it is amazing but I want to make love with him now; and I need to catch my breath. I savour this though. Moving slowly inside him I can feel literally everything... and it is somehow going to bring me to completion faster before.
"Kiss me." Yugi whispers and I obey. His lips are as dry as mine but it doesn't take long to wet them with our slow, deep and passionate kisses matching our rhythm. We are one, in more ways than I ever thought possible. I never imagined being this close with someone could feel so invigorating and so right. How have I gone this long in existence without knowing just how incomplete I was until this moment? I thought getting my memories back would complete me, but I was wrong. I got them back and there was more I wanted. I fell in love with this boy and now ... now I know what it is to be whole.
As we dance this slow dance together I let his legs fall to circle my waist. He's moving his hips with mine, aiding me to dig deeper inside him and each time I'm at my deepest he moans something hoarse and strained, almost desperate. He must be so close. I am so tired and my cock has been yearning for release since we started, so I think I'll finish him now.
I adjust my pacing, quickening up to something he enjoys while trying to maintain how deep I can dive. Once I feel that spot again and his voice chokes I make a point to hit several times, harder and faster each time while keeping eye contact with him. Im going to cum any second now as with every thrust I feel his muscles tighten and squeeze. He's getting so close and I want to bring us there sooner.
Faster. Harder. Faster.
"At- Ateh... hah! AH! TEH-TEMMY! HAH UHHH NYA...!" He moans loudly to completion and as he does his body contracts and responds in a way that it is impossible to resist. I release everything I have built up inside him, filling him to the point I can feel my own seed pushing against me, coating his insides with such heat and wetness. Yugi's seed spurts and spills onto his stomach and chest, pooling beneath his head and when he can finally breathe his ass lets me go. I feel myself still thick and hard inside him but everything is that much more sensitive now that even pulling out makes me want to recoil from the touch. As I slide out of him gently, careful not to hurt him on the way out I sit on my heels and just rest. Catching my breath I look at the exhausted heap that is my boyfriend sprawled lazily before me, his cum drying on his torso and dripping from his cock while my own starts a river down his ass, leaking out in small pulses to pool on the sheets.
My mind is buzzing. My brain almost hurts. My eyes want to stay closed but my ankles want me to move but my body protests movement of any kind. Every muscle in my body is yearning to be left in peace but as sweat chills my skin and my body becomes aware of how cold it is now that we're not working up a sweat, I obey my intense desire to snuggle next to him. He barely moves except to use his arm as my pillow as I snuggle in beside him, draping my arm over his wet chest. Normally this would disturb me but I am so tired and his rapid heart beat is like a lullaby.
I can barely think. The only words that come to me is 'we did it, we did the thing'. I just can barely comprehend that we actually did it. We just had sex. Real, proper sex. We shared our virginity and I made him mine. And it was amazing. Incredible. I want to feel it again but I am so exhausted and my body is aching; but for the best reasons.
I am the happiest person in the world right now. Nothing could go wrong. Or something could go wrong and I just don't think I'd care. I just had sex with Yugi. I just fucked him so good that nothing at all matters. For the first time, I just had sex. And I want to do it every day for the rest of our lives. Oh my god. There is no greater feeling.
I wonder what he's thinking. If he's thinking. He normally is quick to sleep after an orgasm and that … that was an orgasm. Or 20. I've never heard him make those noises but I want to hear it again and again.
His heart is slowing. It sounds like a gentle drum now and as I crane my head up to look upon his adorable relaxed face I actually think he is asleep. He's so sweet. I'd love to know what's happening in that mind of his but it will have to wait until he wakes. Normally I'd push him to have a shower but I think this time I will leave him here to rest. I should clean him off though. It's snowing outside as winter has officially begun and I do not want him getting a cold too. But first:
I prop myself up on an elbow and lean over him to kiss his cheek. He hums pleasantly and I pull back to see him smiling, eyes still closed but he lazily looks up at me. So I guess he was awake… that's a surprise. His tired gaze falls upon my lips and I don't need words to know what he wants. So I plant my kiss onto his lips and let this one simple act of pure love relay everything my heart feels for him.