TW for suicide in this chapter, just to give everyone a head's up, in case anyone would be bothered by that! Take care of your mind, y'all.

L: Aww, glad you're enjoying it so much :D

Guests: Very interesting prediction! I love reading those so much. As for to your other point...danmed if ya do, danmned if ya don't, eh?

Under the musty morning air inside the courtyard, Nadhari sneezed for the twentieth time, interrupting Mother Superior and earning her a stern glare.

"Stop sneezing, it's rude," Mai hissed to her, hardly moving her lips to speak and not turning her head at all.

While Katara usually loved any excuse to get Nadhari in trouble, she begrudgingly found herself agreeing with the snotty contestant. The fumes wafting from the gigantic vats of perfume were cloying at best and overwhelming for anyone at worst. Katara was holding her breath or she'd be sneezing and coughing like Nadhari was.

"If I may continue?" Mother Superior asked in a hard tone. Nadhari wiped the edges of her watering eyes, sniffling at the smells that were attacking her.

"Yes, sorry, of course. I didn't mean to be rude," Nadhari said, cowering under this surprisingly imposing figure.

From across the courtyard, Katara caught Zuko's eye and saw him laughing. He'd been covering sneezes for the entire presentation as well, but since he was sitting behind the matron, he hadn't been the subject of her ire.

"Mother Superior, perhaps a quick break? The smells can be quite pungent for those not used to them. Maybe we can enjoy the food you all so beautifully prepared and come back in half an hour?" Zuko said, standing. It would have been rude of him to let this continue.

"Of course, Prince Zuko. I sometimes do forget that regular noses are more sensitive." She bowed low to him, motioning to the other nuns to close the vats. Immediately, Katara could breathe better.

"Enjoy, please!" she said, forcing her tone to be a bit kinder than before, fearing displeasing Zuko.

Katara stood, rolling out her shoulders and heading straight for the food table.

They were out on another trip and Katara was surprised - no, she was utterly flabbergasted - she'd actually been allowed out of the palace. Of course, her travel companions were Mai and Nadhari, but it's not like she had other friends she would rather be with.

She'd once assumed that she still had Alcina, Ratana, and maybe Cillia and On Ji as friends since Toph's departure, but the recent events had soured their opinions of her. The only true friend that Katara had remaining was Suki.

Smellerbee didn't seem to hate or love Katara, but they weren't close, to begin with. Maybe they should be now that Katara was as close to totally alone as one could come.

She was glad to be away from the stares and gossip. Currently, they were in Abbey, which was far from the reach of that gossip rag that had just about ruined her reputation in the palace. Far from people judging her. No one here knew any details, and if they did, they didn't care. The nuns that ran the Abbey in Jingseng were more tied to helping others as well as adhering to the wills of the spirits.

She wasn't stupid; Katara knew why they were here. She'd also heard Ozai pull Zuko aside before they left.

"Those nuns are notorious for helping those in need." Ozai had said 'need' with the tone of someone describing a stink bug. "See if they are with us or against us."

"Father?" Zuko had asked, his expression held tautly. Katara knew that since the revelation that Ozai was behind the Equalists, Zuko had been steering clear. Katara was sure that Zuko knew what his father was asking, but wanted him to be explicit. There was no doubt in her mind that Zuko was compiling a list of the atrocities his father had encouraged or set up.

"Equalist and Airbender sympathizers. They may even be hiding those vermin in their walls. If they need to be dealt with...Zhao is not far away."

Katara had gulped, hurrying into the carriage. It wouldn't just be a stern talking-to that Zhao delivered...it would be a massacre.

And now they were here.

They'd been here for scarcely more than a few hours, so it was impossible to tell if the nuns were hiding Airbenders. All Katara knew was that they seemed like the kind-hearted sort that might...and this...this enough might be a death sentence.

Katara settled herself under the tent, sitting on a chair and munching away. It was not nearly as warm here as in the Fire Nation, but the reprise from the sun was still appreciated. It made her glad to see her body still react and sweat so much...she feared she may forget the comfort of the coldness of her home if she remained here too long.

Nadhari had roped Zuko into some conversation, but it didn't look like Zuko was desperate to get away. Or, perhaps Zuko was just a good actor.

Mai was sitting by herself, and though there were moments she looked at peace with her lonesome, there was a small moment where her shoulder dropped and she looked unsure. And, well, nearly everyone hated Katara, so maybe a friendship with Mai wasn't the worst idea.

As she stood up to go and try to figure out how to strike up a conversation, there was a bell that rang.

At first, Katara just thought it was the chapel bell, signaling prayer time or some other ritual, but from the panicked expressions of everyone around them, it was clear it was a warning bell.

"Are you serious? Again?" Mai muttered, standing up pulling out one of her thousand knives, ready to fight.

A nun stumbled into the abbey courtyard, holding her neck, bleeding everywhere. The crisp whiteness of her frock was irreparably stained.

"Eq...Eq...Equa…"

The woman blubbered, crimson rising over her lips as people rushed to help her, shushing her. The men and women came in after, weapons already drawn and stained copper.

Out of everyone in the courtyard, they all looked right at Katara.

Something went cold in Katara. She had the double realization that they were very much willing to openly kill, and might kill everyone here, and that they were looking...for some unfathomable reason...specifically for Katara.

"Fuck you!" Nadhari sneered, cutting about half of the invaders off with a wall of earth, but already her body shook from the exertion. Mai took one down with her knife, but for as quick as she was, they were quicker. And gruesome. It didn't seem to matter if someone was obviously a nun or an innocent civilian...if they were here, they were fair game.

Unless….

"Run!" Zuko yelled to Katara. At first, she was furious that Zuko thought she couldn't hold her own. But from the pained look in his eyes, the way he kept looking at that first nun laying on the ground, and how he knew too that they were here for her…

"Girl, get your ass out of here!" Nadhari snapped, her wrists twisting and her eyes ablaze.

If Katara drew them away, if she took them far from here, they wouldn't hurt anyone else who didn't deserve it.

Katara spun in a second, overturning a barrel of perfume and using the liquid to make a tidal wave for herself that deposited her over the side of the abbey.

Unending forests stared back at her. Still, from her other side, they were climbing the wall, swarming. Katara took off running as fast as she could carry herself.

The farther Katara went, the more muted the caterwauls from the abbey became. Was this because she was gaining ground or because the fight was following her? She nearly tripped as she realized that she'd allowed an entire bloodthirsty group to follow her, and only her. She was a fighter, but this group was never-ending, it seemed.

Yet, the forest held good protection. It was dark and murky and twisting. The father Katara went, the darker it seemed. It was thick and untouched. It was as though the forest was sentient, expanding and widening its arms for her to throw herself through and then melding back behind her to create an impenetrable wall of vines and leaves.

Katara was shocked by how quickly she was able to shove through the underbrush. She did not feel the thorns that snagged and dragged across her legs, nor tumble over the gnarled roots that reached out for her feet, nor did she trip over the unforgiving terrain. She knew she was getting scratched but some part of her brain just kept her running, and running, and running.

Katara only stopped once she realized she could not hear the screams from the abbey, nor could she hear the thundering footsteps of Equalists. The only sound was her own heavy breathing and she covered her mouth sharply, fearing this would send these villains straight her way.

As she stood, she registered the sweat that stuck her dress like glue to her skin, the rumbling of the blood pumping in her own ears, the burning in her lungs and down her exposed skin, and finally the fear that gripped her. Even hearty warriors said prayers before they went into battle.

The second thing she registered was a shock and different terror; she had no idea where she was or how far she'd run. She hadn't run straight...years of Sokka and her father coaching her had proved helpful. All she could think was Sokka yelling 'Serpentine! Ser-pen-tine!' in her head, and her feet had taken her left and right and back and forth and made it impossible for someone to guess where she was headed.

But she couldn't just walk it back now. She was stranded in this deep, hungry forest with only her wits.

And yet she was not 100% safe. There seemed to be only one option, one of two-fold. She spied a tree that looked strong enough to hold her and hoisted herself up into it, up and up, as much as she could. She would hide out here, keep herself above ground, but also work her way to the top layer. She just needed a lay of the land; the abbey was near the sea. If she could spot that, she could trace her way back.

She was about to haul herself to the next branch when she heard twigs snapping. She held her breath, curling herself into a ball, hoping she left no obvious clues below.

"We should have come at night," someone huffed. It was a girl, and though she wore a mask, her voice seemed to indicate she was hardly older than Katara.

"Caught them in their sleep. Yeah," a second voice, an equally young boy agreed. Katara leaned over as far as curiosity would let her. Her interest was piqued in so many ways. "Who knew a Tribesman could run so far?"

She had half expected a worse slur, something cruel that would make her blood burn, but it hadn't been.

"You okay?" the boy asked, flipping up his mask. He was just as young as Katara expected, and he had a kinder expression than she would have guessed. The girl, who had her hair in two braids, pressed her hand against the very tree Katara was hiding in. She was breathing really, really hard.

"Yes. I just…" She looked at the boy, giving a sad, wiry smile. "You know."

He leaned forward, kissing her forehead in a gentle gesture. Katara was completely shocked. Okay, obviously they weren't all monsters, but this? It seemed like night and day. The girl and boy hardly looked like fighters, more like children that accidentally joined the wrong field trip.

There was shouting to the east. Or maybe it was west.

"Dammit, that sounds like Lian. Sounds like he's in trouble."

"Go," The girl playfully pushed the boy's shoulder, "I'll be behind you in a sec. Just...taking a breath," she assured, leaning up and kissing him. There was affection here, something genuine and wholesome.

"Just in case," the boy said, handing her a worn-looking knife. Then, he bounded off, leaving the girl.

The girl sat for a few beats and stood. Katara hoped she'd be returning the way they came, and for a second, it looked like she would. But then, a cloud rolled in front of the sun and plunged the forest into momentary darkness. The girl looked up, and as the clouds dissipated and rays shot through the upper canopy once again, she was looking right at Katara.

They locked eyes; there was no way she did not see Katara. Katara immediately drew an ice knife from her sweat.

"Stay back!" Katara hissed in a low voice, "One move and-"

"Please...please...Princess Katara…" The girl's voice broke as she blubbered, eyes filling with tears. Was this a ploy? A tactic? "Don't hurt me!"

"Hurt you?" Katara was stumped. "You and your gang have spilled more blood than I have!"

"I...I'm not...I don't…" The girl looked impossibly pale and green at the same time. She sank into a deep curtsey, shocking Katara once again, her head bowed low. "You need to help me," she begged.

"What?"

"Where...where…" The girl's voice was a thin warble. "Where is Aiga?"

Katara felt like she had whiplash. "My maid? You want to know where Aiga is? How will this help you?"

Other than the obvious reason - that Katara knew that she was hiding with Aang. But if the girl wanted to know where the Avatar is, why wouldn't that be her question? Why specify Aiga?

"They'll kill me otherwise." The girl bit her lip. "They have shit on us. On me and my boyfriend and his brother. I need to find out where Aiga is, that's what they told me. Please, please, they'll kill us otherwise. Tell me where she is." The girl placed her hands on the tree, staring up. "Save us."

"I can't….I can't help you." Katara's voice shattered as she admitted it. "Who's going to kill you? If you tell me, I can help in other ways. Prince Zuko, he-"

"No, no," the girl gasped, "It has to be this. I can't be saved, they'll find me. And they'll kill us anyway. Unless you help me. I'm only fifteen, I'm not-" She burst into tears. "Please, Princess! Please!"

"I don't know where she is," Katara said, staring down at her. The girl held her gaze, and it seemed that she recognized this for the honest truth, because she broke down into harder sobs. They were the tears of someone who knew their days were finally up, for she was never going to bring back to her shadowy bosses what they wanted.

"Who is blackmailing you?" Katara demanded, cautiously jumping down to another branch, without getting too close. "Who? The Equalists? Who's behind it?"

The girl looked up, her light brown eyes dim. "Of course it's the Equalists. And I don't know who's pulling the strings, but I have a pretty good guess." She spoke with the freedom of a broken soul. "But they want Aiga, Princess. And they'll go through hell to get her."

"Do you know anything? Anything that can help us?" Katara pressed her, because at the end of the day, other than Zuko's insistence it was his father, there was nothing else known about the group. "Is it the Fire Lord? Just nod - you don't have to betray him, just nod if it's him," Katara said in a rush.

"It's the devil," the girl said simply. "That's who's behind it all, the devil."

Katara frowned, about to volley another question, but the girl turned up to Katara, looking so small and young.

"You really don't know anything?" she said in a quiet voice, "And you'd really be willing to help me, someone who was told to bring you back by any violent means necessary?"

"Yes." Katara's voice was motherly. "I know that you made some choices, but someone's doing worse by forcing you to do this. I don't blame you, but I can't give you answers I do not have," she cooed, hoping that Zuko could figure out how to get her, her boyfriend, and her brother far far away from the grasp of these terrorists.

The girl smiled, tears rolling down her muddy cheeks. "That's a nice fantasy," she said.

Katara should have realized it in her voice, or seen it in her expression. She felt like she was moving in slow motion, a second behind everything, yelling and jumping down from the tree just a frame too late as the girl took the knife and plunged it into her own chest, right through the heart.

"No!" Katara screamed, forgetting that a thousand people were looking for her in these woods, forgetting everything except the hurt of watching a girl who felt like she was all out of options take herself from an unforgiving equation.

"Please, please," Katara pressed her fingers against the girl's chest, trying to stitch her body back together with her healing, but it was like she was slapping sticky gum over holes and moving onto the next, only for the one behind her to break loose again. It was a losing battle and the girl was dead before Katara ever pressed her hands to her.

Katara, refusing to leave this young child's body behind, curled up on the base of the tree, and prayed that someone would find her soon and that it would be Zuko.

Katara's body was as stationary as a rock that had been undisturbed for a thousand years, but her mind was running. Who was behind it all? Why did they want Aiga? And how awful must the stakes have been that this girl would rather kill herself than fall into the hands of a disappointed leader? How bad were her previous sins to feel like this was the only way out, at this age?

The day was darkening in front of Katara. It was hard to be sure since little light made its way down to the bottom of the forest, but she figured by the passing of her internal clock that it had been a long time that she'd been out here.

"Katara!"

The first time she heard her name, she was sure someone was playing tricks on her mind. The forest was mocking her.

"Kat!"

The second time, she was wary. Was it Equalists? But of course, the Equalists wouldn't be calling her 'Kat'.

"Katara, where the hell are you?"

That was Nadhari, and never had Katara been so grateful to hear her voice.

"Over here! I'm here!" Katara yelled. She saw Nadhari first, followed by Zuko, and then Mai and a few of the nuns.

"Oh, spirits," one of the nuns gasped, blessing herself at the sight of the girl laying on the

ground.

"She killed herself," Zuko surmised quickly, perhaps before anyone could accuse Katara of murder.

"The Equalists?"

"We disposed of enough to make them turn tail. Most fled...I think we hit a good chunk of them," Nadhari said proudly. "The rest might still be wandering these woods. It's a miracle we found you!"

"A boy, about her age. And a younger one...did you…" Katara knew what 'disposed of' meant.

"No, but as we said, quite a lot ran," Zuko said, but his eyes were curious. "What happened?"

"She…" Katara couldn't get the words out and felt tears overwhelm her. She crumbled, and Zuko caught her on the forest floor, holding her and rocking back and forth, patting her shoulder.

"We thought you were dead, perhaps hung or burned out here, when you didn't return," Mai said, kneeling beside the girl. Her face was as close to pain as Katara had ever seen.

"They didn't want me dead. They wanted information. Where Aiga was," Katara managed to stutter out. She could talk about that. She didn't know how she'd explain how she tried to save this girl, literally sew her heart back together, and couldn't.

"Let's get back to the abbey, and then we can talk," Zuko said, picking Katara up in his arms, carrying her completely. At any other time, she would have insisted on walking, but her entire being felt heavy and weak right now. "Erm, can you-"

"I'll grab her," Nadhari whispered, reaching for the body on the ground, "She's so...light."

The abbey was totally trashed. Katara vaguely remembered crying and apologizing to the Matron for it, but she only sweetly smiled.

"We are glad to see you are alive. We can rebuild our homes. We cannot bring you back from the dead."

After it was all said and done, Katara was given a warm cup of tea and wrapped in a thick blanket. Mai washed the blood off of Katara's hands and Nadhari brushed her hair out, with Zuko watching faithfully at the threshold, his expression hard to capture.

"She...she was being blackmailed," Katara finally found her voice, "By whoever's in charge. She felt like there was no way out. But I didn't have the answers she needed. So she…"

The nuns were burying her in their graveyard, a proper send-off.

"Sometimes evil can come in surprising forms," Zuko said gently, but Katara vigorously shook her head.

"She wasn't. She was trapped. She was just a normal girl. How...how many others are out there? Like her? How many other Equalists are being forced into it?" she demanded, horrified at the thought. She'd never stopped to consider that side, this possibility.

"She could have always gone to the police guards," Mai said, tilting her head. "There is an individual choice."

"Whatever she did, it must've been bad, though," Nadhari said, and it seemed a shiver ran up her spine, "To think that that was her only option…"

"And maybe the guards were in on it too…" Zuko's face was shadowed, no doubt wondering if his father would have just told the guards to ignore this nameless girl, had she tried to seek asylum.

Everyone was silent as the dead for a good long while, staring at the ground, eating through everything.

For the first time since that awful moment, Katara's mind was just blank. Numb. Nothing.

"This has just become a lot more difficult," Mai finally whispered.

Nadhari, abruptly, laughed. It was something sardonic, something that told Katara that she knew far more than she was letting on. "Oh, honey, it always has been."

XXX

They returned home early.

After a ceremony for the unnamed girl out back, with spring flowers placed on the newly upturned dirt and Katara kneeling where she lay cold in the ground and seemingly almost breaking, Zuko thought it best.

His father had few comments, but he seemed on edge, particularly about the young girl.

"Terrible tragedy," Lu Ten whispered in horror after Zuko told the Family what he knew. "I can't...that's awful."

"She probably made some really bad choices," Azula shrugged, near uncaring, "But, sad, I guess."

"That is...most difficult to hear," his father said, teeth grinding. Zuko held back a smile; whatever he'd been so desperately fishing for, whatever he'd needed so much to send the Equalists to where he knew Katara would be unprotected, he hadn't gotten.

Good.

Katara had slipped away almost immediately after they returned. Zuko had almost sent Alcina after her until he saw the way Alcina had flinched when Katara passed within ten feet of her and recalled what had happened.

He sent Suki, one of the two singular people left who Katara could still call a friend. And he tried to give her space, but after two days, it was clear that Katara was taking this very personally. Her kind heart did not want to admit there was nothing she could have done, that even if she had known where Aiga was, she would have been in no position to let that information go.

He slipped into her bedroom, unsure what his exact plan was, other than he wanted to make her smile and coax her out of her room again. Perhaps a night as the Painted Lady? Show Katara she still could help others? Or maybe they'd just tell stories and eat candy and laugh?

She was sleeping now and looked peaceful. Maybe he'd just let her sleep.

He went to her vanity and spotted a perfume from the abbey sitting here, a parting gift to all the ladies. He sniffed it and sneezed.

Katara startled awake, arms were thrown out like they were under attack. And, after all that had happened, who could blame her?

"Zuko?" she asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry...didn't mean to wake you." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"What are you doing, standing there like a creep in the night?" she asked, rolling out her shoulders. He snorted, glad to see that her sense of humor was completely gone.

An idea struck him.

"Kat?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I show you something? Do you want to come with me? It's super top-secret and...well, no one else is supposed to know. But I'd like your thoughts."

Katara tilted her head. She was intrigued. Good.

"Okay," she said after a moment. "Can I grab a robe?"

Zuko nodded, turning around like a gentleman, as Katara grabbed something silky and covering from her closet. Once she was more or less presentable, he grabbed her hand. He squeezed and she squeezed back.

He took her through the secret passageway that left them in his bedroom. When Katara realized where they were, she gave a squeal of laughter.

"Zuko, what are we doing here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, looking at his bed. His cheeks burned. "Is the super-secret thing something on there?"

"I'm not. We're...it's...uhm…" He shook his head out, all his thoughts had vanished with her alluring blue eyes.

"I'm just teasing," she said, rubbing his arm, "Or-"

"No, it's not that," he choked out. "It's this way. Erm, follow me!" he said, trying to regain his mental state. Katara chuckled but walked behind him.

He slipped them through the Royal Family's personal chambers, down to a door at the end of the hall. He opened the door to reveal...a room that very much looked halfway completed, with paint cans, hammers, and woodchips everywhere. Katara coughed at the dust that rose up as he flung the door open.

"Ta-da!"

"It's...a room."

"It's not just any room, it's the future Fire Lord and Lady's bed chambers," he said.

"They're making you your own room?" Katara turned as he closed the door behind him.

"Well, yeah, I don't want to kick my parents out of their room, and I also don't want it. Sleeping in my dad's bed? Yuck!" He shuddered at the thought. "This will be the Royal Fire Lord Suite. The Fire Lady does have a bedroom right off there but...I sorta hope that my future wife won't find me so unbearable that we'd sleep apart," he admitted softly. Katara, who had started picking her way across the room, turned back.

"I doubt anyone would do that," she whispered. "They'd be crazy."

"And my old room will be our firstborn's nursery and future bedroom," he continued. "Ah! I

mean, not 'ours' and in yours and mine, although I guess it could be, but I was just saying it as a generalization, as a given, that it will be mine and whoever I marry-" He could feel himself rambling, trying to talk back his flop, although he'd absolutely been thinking about his and Katara's possible first child.

"Zuko, it's fine," she laughed, "I know what you meant." She paused, her face pulled in thought. "You said you wanted my...opinion?" she broached it carefully.

"I do," Zuko said. "I want to know what you think of the wall colors, or the bed they're making, or if the bath is big enough," he said honestly. "I want all your judgments, good and bad." This was very bold of him, he knew, but the risk of sounding like a lovesick fool was worth it.

"Are you asking any of the others?" Katara questioned cautiously, but he could see her eyes flickering.

He held her gaze, then gave her the softest smile he could muster. "No."

Katara licked her lips, giving him a grin with all her teeth. "Hmm, you sure you want my opinions? I've been told I have a lot of judgments."

"Oh, trust me, I know," Zuko snorted. "This isn't a surprise to me. But I was being honest. I do. Tell me you hate every inch of this place and I'll change it tomorrow." He snapped a finger. "Just like that."

"Well," Katara ran her finger over the walls, "To begin with...this paint color." She made a joking 'x' symbol with her hands. "I think it has to go."

"Uh-huh, what else?" Zuko asked.

"This armchair? Hideous."

"I'll burn it in the yard. Give it a nice eulogy."

"This vase here?" Katara pointed to a piece in a box, half-unearthed.

"Hmm, that thing? That weird ancestral piece?" He nodded.

"Ugly."

"Yes, talk dirty to me, Kat," He teased, and to see her whole face light up was the best thing in the world. And he agreed; that vase was truly ugly.

"Ooh," Katara stood in the middle of the room, and it looked like she belonged here, amongst the wreckage and the half-completed furniture. It was a place where she would change with it, where she was meant to be. "How long do we have?" She asked teasingly, a glimmer in her eyes.

Zuko gleamed. "As long as we want."

XXX

Zuko had some plans to re-adjust, so he told Katara to just slip back into his room, and then through the passageways. The rooms were no more than a yard apart; should be fine, right?

Alas, Katara should have realized her luck with such things ran dry quite a long time ago.

She heard the creaking of a door behind her and her mind whirled, trying to figure out what she should do, now that some other Royal had caught her in a hallway she 100% was not supposed to be.

If it was Azula, no doubt she'd expect something from Katara in return for her silence. Or, maybe she'd use it to torture Zuko. Yikes, not good.

If it was Ozai, she'd be packing her bags, as this might be the exact thing he needed. Damn, she could read the headlines right now…' Water Tribe Contestant Steals Honor Crown Prince's Purity', even if they'd done nothing of the sort. Oh, the names she'd be called.

If it was Lu Ten, he'd probably just give that long disappointed sigh, the one Katara hated so much. She didn't want him to be disappointed in her any more than Sokka.

If it was Ursa-

"Katara, what are you doing here at this hour?"

She turned to face Zuko's mother, her hair pulled up into curlers and her face clean from makeup.

"Er…"

"My child, in here before someone hears," she said, urging Katara into her bedchambers. Katara resisted until she recalled that Ursa stayed her nights away from Ozai. She gratefully allowed the queen to save her hide, scurrying inside.

"What in the spirits are you doing here this time of night? If anyone else saw…" She shook her head, pursing her lips.

Katara figured the best route to go was the honest one, "Zuko was showing me the future Fire Lord's suite. I suppose...he was trying to cheer me up. I've been a bit…" Katara trailed off, unable to think of the proper word.

Ursa's eyes softened. "Ah, yes. I read the reports from Jingseng. I can't imagine, and I'm blessed I've never gotten so close to such violence. It is a terrible thing," she agreed, understanding. Then, her lips quirked into a smile. "Did you know that Ozai tried to woo me in the same way? By showing me the bedroom that became ours?" she asked with a hint of a grin. Katara shook her head. "Like father, like son. Has Zuko tried any of his pick-up lines on you?" she asked, laughing.

"A few. He's, well, erm-" She didn't want to insult Zuko in front of his mother, but how does one say, 'hey, your son is the most awkward human I've ever met?'

"He gets that from Ozai too, though you wouldn't believe it I'm sure. Ozai has just been so terrifying that no one had the heart to tell him that his lines were quite atrocious. Iroh, however, he's the suave brother."

"What?" Katara's lips let forth a burst of laughter. "No way."

"Oh, it's true. He acts as he does and gives terrible love advice out of jest. He's always had a more playful side. But when it was his turn to woo his women...many girls fell in love with him, and not only because he's a kind man," Ursa said, as though recollecting, though she would have been very young for Iroh's Choice.

Ursa rang a bell and a few moments later, her handmaid appeared. "Would you grab us some finger cakes and hot chocolate?" She turned back to Katara. "We will be here a few hours until I know it is safe for you to go back to your room without getting caught. We may as well enjoy ourselves."

"Thank you for not, uhm, kicking me out." Katara felt properly embarrassed.

"My dear, I would never," Ursa said kindly.

They chatted about non-important things until their food arrived, and once Katara was sitting comfortably, Ursa turned. Her golden eyes were calculating, in such a way that Katara knew she was curious about something.

"So, my son is showing you the Royal Suite. That's quite a step," she fished, sipping her warm drink. Katara knew she was prying out of love for her son and genuine affection, not like Azula who would be digging for her own gain.

Katara pursed her lips though, all the same.

"I feel...if I may speak plainly...a block. Something is holding you back from my son. What is it?" It was not a command, but a true question. Katara thought of lying, but maybe it was this woman's continual kindness, maybe it was the time of night, or perhaps Katara was truly beaten down and felt little reason to keep such large secrets, but she gave a long sigh.

"Zuko and I are...supposedly, soul mates."

"Oh?" Ursa said, leaning forward, "How do you suppose?"

"I don't suppose. I know it factually." Katara gave a tired smile and then, without pausing, launched into everything. She talked about her meeting with the Dark Water Spirit, about all of her memories, about how she was feeling the weight of a thousand past years on her shoulders all pressing down. All of it, she spoke until she felt like she had no more to say. And Ursa just listened, eyes focused on Katara, never wavering.

"And Zuko does not know?" Ursa finally asked when Katara was silent.

"No, how do I tell him? We both know he's not the most superstitious."

"Ah, yes, quite wise," Ursa agreed, though it seemed she wanted to run off and tell him, despite her better instincts. "I think things work themselves out, and a truth like this will become known in time...but a better question is…" She tilted her head, truly confused. "Is this not the most joyous news?"

It should have been. To any other girl here, the knowledge that they were destined to be with their crush would have caused euphoria. But to Katara….

"I hate it."

The final, biting truth wiggled its way out. She felt ashamed for saying it, hated how it sat upon her tongue, but she could not deny it any longer.

"I hate everything about it," Katara repeated, hanging her head.

"Do explain?"

"I've always been told that I have so much choice. I mean, I didn't with so many things, so the things that I can decide have so much meaning. I can't decide who I get to marry, not necessarily because it had to be someone that could help the tribe, but I could decide who I would love, you know? But now, apparently, I don't even get that." She stood, feeling the anger rise within her. "I don't want someone else's life, I want my own. My grandmother had to leave everything to find her choice and I just hate how few choices we get in this world. I don't want to be with your son because it was pre-designed, I hate the idea that all my feelings, everything toward him is just...just…"

"Some other life breathing through you."

Katra gave a grim nod. "And if I'm not in control of that, I don't…" She couldn't finish her thought, but Ursa seemed to understand. "This does not feel like a blessing to me, Ursa. This feels like a cruel joke because I question every interaction I have. Is it genuinely me or is it some past voice, reaching out to him? I always took pride in my own identity, but this makes me question if I'm myself at all. And how can I be with Zuko if I'm not sure of that, or worse, if he doesn't know? And if he did…" Katara slumped her shoulders. "Would he feel the same?"

Ursa was silent for a long time.

"I think that you have only had a few sparse moments with this past life. I know you do not want to confront it, but Princess," Her voice was achingly gentle, "You must explore it, or else you will feel untethered forever. You have to make peace with this. Not merely for the sake of my son, but for your own health."

And deep down, Katara knew this too.

New chapter will drop on May 7th!

This might also be hard to believe, but we are on the down-ward end of the last arc of this story! I think that there might be around 45 chapters, thought that could change (less or more) at any given time.