RPOV - One month later

The worst noise in the world cuts through my dream. Ripping me away from sort of confrontation with Monica Geller and Serena Van Der Woodsen. I grope the covers for my phone and knock it off. Before I can think about how nice it would be to pull the covers over my head I kick them aside and step into my routine.

It's 4:30pm, the sun doesn't set for another half an hour which means I have an hour or two before the rest of the house stirs. I pull off Dimitri's shirt and head to the bathroom. I bind myself into the bandages, pull on my running clothes and rake the brush through my hair.. I can't help at being a little satisfied by how I look in the mirror. I'd put on weight, I'd been adamant too, shovelling that vile oatmeal into me every morning and every night before bed. The first few days I'd woken up feeling bloated and sluggish but my body was starting to adapt to it now.

My hair is still a mess. When Natalie finally sees it she's going to flip. She's facetiming me later with the 'plan'. I pull my hair up into ponytail wondering what it'll be. Thankfully Natalie's plans involve glitter and balloons rather than guns and planes.

I pad across the room and take the door handle gently while listening for any sign someone could be awake. Not a sound. I turn the handle and slip into the hallway. I glance at Dimitri's door and my foot hesitates in the open air above the top stair.

What are you going to do? Knock?

I take the stairs two at a time.

The glass wall is clearing to show the garden as the light recedes. I missed spending time out there but unfortunately a glass wall didn't allow for much privacy and the house had been too busy this past month.

I breeze past the living room, all perfectly polished and pristine like I'd left it. It was a mess when the Alchemists cleared out. They didn't care to put furniture back or clear up their discarded utensils. Nothing Alchemist made but discarded bags full of soiled gloves and syringes. I found that strange because they seemed like such proud people.

I flick the coffee pot on and pre-heat the oven on a low temperature before sliding on my coat and stepping out the back door. I have just under two hours to do as many laps as possible. Walking, jogging, sometimes running. It's late October and the Montana summer is gone. It's chilly all the time but on some rare occasions when the sun cuts through the tree's and the wind stills it feels almost warm.

Nothing like Arizona heat.

I set off toward the forest path.

The world's fallen under the navy blanket and the wards are lit up along my path. The house comes into view for the third time. Three laps. Despite the cool breeze I'm sweating buckets and it still amazes me Dimitri could run this without stopping. But that's the goal I'm working toward. A month I'd been at this and I can only manage half of a lap running. That's a good day.

I consider the house in the distance and the thought of breakfast. Well if you want something bad enough. I start jogging and then pick up the pace. My legs are like lead but I have everything I need to spur me forward. How I lagged on the airfield, how I couldn't make it up the ramp and how Dimitri had to haul me down the fire escape in the Estonian mall. I didn't want to be a liability and if I'm ever going to be on my own I needed to at least be able to run like hell.

I reach the back door with icicles for lungs. Still a massive improvement from the first day when I had to sit down half way through my second lap and then pathetically walk the rest drenched in sweat. That was a bad day for a few reasons, my physical state being the second and the first being she was waiting for me in the kitchen.

I slip into the kitchen, still taking care to be quiet, to listen as I wipe my feet. It's a relief (like every time now) to find the kitchen empty. I hang up my coat as the irritation cackles in my blood and I'm unable to keep the memory from playing back to me.

I'd come back from my first attempt at getting fitter. After Estonia I slept for two straight days and didn't leave my room until the fourth day. Not even for food. I had cookies hidden in my drawer. The house had sounded busy with footsteps and voices and I had guessed that the Alchemists were still here and so was she. But on the fourth day the house had got quieter and I had woken early so I slipped out to start new hobby.

Natasha Ozera was waiting for me in the kitchen when I got back. She sat at the island in a soft cream sweater, blue jeans and brown boots. Her silky ebony hair swept up into a ponytail. She looked effortlessly beautiful.

I was red as a tomato with my shirt stuck to my back.

I hated her.

"Hello, Rose."

"Hello." I finally said.

"I was hoping I could talk to you for a few minutes."

"Sure." I slid off my coat, cursing again for how awful I must look, how much like the dirty little 'rat' Mistress Ozera had called me.

She's already helped herself to coffee and despite saying she wants to talk to me she hasn't said in anything. I make myself coffee for something to do, milk, sugar and cream. I flip open a baking book and pretend to look at the lemon muffin recipe.

She expects me to stand stock still with my head down and wait until she's ready to say what she has to say. I don't follow Ozera rules anymore.

"You're going to bake?"

"Yes. I figure it's easier to have baked goods ready for when people want to eat rather than try and cook hot food."

"Yes." She agrees. She had a stupidly kind voice. "It will be a bit disruptive around here for a few days with the Alchemists. I wouldn't worry about catering to them – they don't welcome hospitality."

"Oh, I know." I remembered how the blonde Alchemist and how she'd probably recoil if I tried to feed her anything. "It's that I'll need half a dozen for Spiridon alone."

"Spiridon is not here." I turn to face her. She looks sympathetic – I hate it. "He left for Court about thirty minutes ago. My Guardians are here, if you are worried about you're safety."

The rage rises quickly. "Funny, the last time I was alone with an Ozera, their Guardian's didn't care about my safety." She looks down. Good. Maybe spending time with Spiridon was good for me. "It was the Ozera's that did the most damage."

"You can't imagine how sorry I am." She says quietly, and then after a few 'respectful' seconds she straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. "I don't know if you know this, but I was the one who reached out to Victor and told him of…the situation. I am sorry I didn't do it sooner and it is no excuse, but they are my family."

"Sooner?" I murmur.

"I sat on it for a week or two." Her face is pinched in regret and shame. Those glacier eyes are begging me to understand, to wither under the empathy dripping from her voice.

"Weeks?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. There were many things-"

"Liar."

"Excuse me?"

My hands are fists by sides. I keep my voice steady, "You knew we were there."

"Rose, I only started to suspect a few weeks prior to Victors visit when-"

"I've seen you before." Cutting her off and seeing that shocked/scared expression on her stupid face was all the courage I needed. "You met my friend Eddie. In the orchard."

We were told to stay hidden when there were guests coming but Eddie didn't want to listen that day. His curiosity was bursting out of him. I used to tell myself it was safer if I was with him because I could look out for Guardians or if I told him enough times, we should go back he would. But the truth was my curiosity was bursting too. We didn't see her coming until it was too late. Eddie pushed me back and stepped out into her path before we were both discovered.

I couldn't hear what they said. I know it wasn't a lot but I also know it was the start of what killed him in the end. His curiosity grew bigger than his common sense and warped into anger at what our lives were limited – even though he could have no idea just how big the world was. How much he was missing out on.

I glare at her and she stares back speechless. "You suspected for years."

I expect her to jabber. To make excuses or beg me not to tell Victor. Something that shows what a cowardly person she is and not some sort of hero for ending my suffering by going to Victor.

She takes a deep breath and considers the cup between her fingers before looking back up at me. It shocks me to see that cold fire in her eyes. "Rose, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"What?" It was her. I know it was her. She was younger and her hair was different, but I know.

Her pitying look is infuriating. "I never met an Eddie. Is he a friend of yours? Is he…is he still there?"

It takes all the willpower I possess to not launch myself at her in blind fury like I had to Spiridon that first plane ride. "You met him. He was thirteen and blonde like his mother."

She presses her lips together and if you didn't know better you would like she was on the verge of crying with pity. She is worse than her sister-in-law. She is worse than her brother. She is the worst Ozera because she can't admit to the truth.

"I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps there was another visitor, or it was a Guardian out of their formal wear? But it was not me."

Liar.

"You're friend, maybe we can help him. I can-"

"He's dead." I am shaking. I can't hide it.

"I am very sorry to hear that."

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

"Besides apologising for my brother and sister-in-law unforgiveable behaviour, I also wanted to thank you." The cold has left her features and she looks imploring again. "For your assistance in returning Dimitri back. He is important to me. I'm so grateful to you and Spiridon for not leaving him behind." I have no words. She's grateful? We didn't do it for her. We never considered leaving him even though he insisted. "If there is anything I can do for you, just ask." She smiles softly, "I owe you one."

There's only one thing holding me back and it's how capable she is of being manipulative. Everything she's just said to me and orchestrated in her face warns me that if I launched myself at her this would somehow all end up being bad for me. All of it.

Dimitri wasn't here to listen to me. He'd believe me, wouldn't he? Without him Victor would only hear her side, a guest attacked in his house when she was being nothing but nice. And it was her that sent the jet and had everything here and ready to help us. No – she wouldn't look bad at all.

"You owe me one?" She smiles, thinking she has me, she's won. "Never speak to me again. That's what I want."

I left her there and went to my room to shower but I had punch the pillows for a while first.

Now, the kitchens warmed up nicely. I wash my hands and forearms before setting to work. Filled croissants, apricot cream, and for something savoury cheese twists with salsa for dipping.

Baked goods had been the perfect solution for all the activity because they could sit out for anyone to take as they please and I didn't have to be on call to make meals. Natasha had at least honoured my request that she never speak to me. I had never been asked cook for her or her Guardians but this way no one could say I had let them go without.

In a way I was glad Victor, Ben and Spiridon weren't here as it would probably mean enduring her more often, having to cook for them, to speak to them and be completely fake and nice. Somehow Spiridon would know and he would needle and goad me into an argument.

But how it is we can stay out of each other's way. It annoys me to think, that she thinks, she has control or run of the house with Victor away, that this is hers for the time being. It annoys me more to think that it probably is, she wouldn't be here without Victor's invitation.

Baking prep takes no time at all. I slide the trays into the oven and go shower in the time they need to cook.

On the landing I hear her laughing. She's in his room. And I think…I think I can hear…

Him.

He's awake. He's talking.

My nose is almost pressed against his door when I catch myself. I couldn't barge in there. I couldn't with her around.

He's awake.

Everything in me is straining to talk to him. Just to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. To actually see him, to speak to him…. And maybe to ask why the hell he did what he did in Estonia. I lean my forehead to the door.

You're awake.

There's a noise behind the door that makes me bolt into my own room. Shit scared she'd open the door to find me there.

Should I text Spiridon? Or Natalie? No maybe Lissa. Natalie won't care much. Spiridon might already know. She probably told him. Not that we talk much since he left, he'd only text me once.

"Keep the details to yourself."

How vague miss you too.

Lissa text me everyday but only when she could. She wasn't allowed her phone in class. Natalie rang sometimes but after it became apparent my 'goss' was the same thing every single day it was a bit awkard. She gave me updates though – about people I didn't know and what it was like at school. It made me jealous. They got to spend so much time together and learn things, to be around a ton of Dhampirs training to be Guardians.

Dimitri is going to train me. This is what I'd been preparing for too, my walks and runs were in preparation and it is what he told me I had to conquer first. I needed to learn to run. I needed to be fast and durable.

I am getting there.

And now he's awake.

I jump into the shower with a million things running through my mind, all brought up short by the fact she was the one in there with him. Could I just go knock? Or do I wait until Keith gets here for his daily check?

After the days I spent in my room I'd emerged to find the living room back to normal and two alchemists (Keith and the blonde girl) rotating between the dining room table and Dimitri's room where they'd moved him. They'd put him in an induced coma to allow his body to recover, mainly his heart. Everything else wasn't a massive concern as Dhampirs heal quick and his pelvis and ribs would be fine. His heart was the problem. Putting him in a coma meant it didn't have to work harder because the rest of his body was relaxed.

I overheard all this and I'm glad I did because when Victor called me (I had two missed calls and voicemail from him whilst I was in my own type of coma) he gave me a more watered-down version. He seemed to more interested in how I was but after having having run in with Natasha Ozera and then finding out Spiridon had just left me, all could think to say was, 'fine'.

As the weeks went on the Alchemists presence dwindled out and now, we're down to a daily check. Did they know he was due to wake up? It's harder to eavesdrop with less people and since I'm studiously avoiding who they always feed information to.

What if Dimitri's grateful to her? Like…she's the first one he's spoken to and she could tell how much she's been taking care of him.

She didn't keep him alive.

I slam the conditioner bottle down.

I take my time getting ready and once my jeans are on (I had to jump round a lot to get them up – id need new ones soon) and I'm entirely satisfied my bandage lines aren't showing through my shirt I step out into the hall.

I can hear them talking. Low murmurs. Is she sitting by his bedside or lying down beside him? Is she catching him up on all the going ons at Court that she would know because she's Moroi and Royal? Does she notice how long and dark his eyelashes and when his eyes are closed they brush his cheek?

Even more enraged I race down the stairs and into the kitchen where something has definitely burnt.

"I think we can save some of these." Ethan says with a tense smile and baking tray in hand.

I look at the blackened shapes that were meant to be the cheese twists. "I think, Guardian Moore, saving those are beyond you're capabilities."

He looks down. "The stubborn part of me wants to prove you wrong..."

"But?"

"But I can already taste the cheese ash in my mouth."

I wished I could offer cheese ash to Natasha Ozera just to see her reaction.

Ethan bins the cheese twists. "How was the run?"

"Still doesn't qualify as a run." I grumble. "But I did three laps instead of two today. I walked all of the last one."

"Better than yesterday."

I shrug and then say "Dimitri's awake."

"I know." I wait for him to offer up some more information but he doesn't. What a great help.

Ethan is one of her three Guardians and the only one who speaks to me, not that I've made the effort to speak to anyone. He seems nice enough but I sometimes suspect he's not making conversation for the sake of it. Spiridon had told me to keep the details to myself and I'm sure Dimitri would know to do the same and I cant imagine Natasha wasn't going to ask what had happened. For as little as I know of the world and of Moroi motives in it, I knew information was power.

There's soft footfalls on the stairs and Ethan straighten up as Natasha breezes into the kitchen. She doesn't look at me. "I need to go to St Vladimir's."

"Is everything okay?" Ethan voice is sharp but calm. Guardian mode.

Natasha collects her rich plum coloured coat from the wall, "My nephew decided to set fire to another student. So no, not okay."

"Is the school sending an escort?"

"I wouldn't ask them to do that. You and Croft will take me. Bell can remain here with Dimitri."

"With all due respect Miss Ozera, Bell should come with us. There are more than enough wards here to protect the house but it's a well known road to the Academy and the risk is too high."

Natasha thinks on it. "Fine. Tell him to hurry."

Ethan pulls out his phone and follows Natasha into the hall. I hear the beep and then the door closes behind them.

I watch from the living room window as they get into their sleek car, nothing like the SUV's in our garage but I suspect it's just as robust. Guardian Bell darts out of the treeline and slips into the back seat. The car reverses and disappears down the drive.

I drift back into the kitchen and make two hot chocolates, extra cream, and plate three croissants onto a tray and start up the stairs before I do something like think and lose my nerve.

I tap the door with my toe.

"Come in."

I use my elbow on the door handle and back into the room praying I don't knock anything over. I'd have no choice but to go lie I the driveway and wait for Ethan to run me over.

"I thought...maybe you'd want some breakfast."

I force myself to look at him. Despite having been asleep for the past few weeks he looks exhausted, purples smudges under his eyes like he hadn't found peace wherever his mind had taken him and no matter the amount of calories they'd pumped into tubes his cheekbones were sharper.

His eyes are dark depths that make me more unsure of my footing.

"I do want but whether I can keep it down or not..."

He doesn't even sound like himself or how I remember but maybe that's because he hasn't used his voice in so long. I feel nervous, like this was a mistake, I'm not going to be able to make easy conversation like her.

A few seconds pass. "Well...if you think your going to throw up tell me and I'll move."

The barest hint of a smile, "Okay."

The nervous energy cackling in my bones.

Carefully I place the tray down on the bed and he pushes himself up further on his pillows. I pretend not to notice the effort it takes him and busy myself putting his hot chocolate on the bedside table.

"Thank you." He says quietly.

It's weird. I've waited for so long for him to wake up, wished for it, played out how our conversation would go. In some scenarios I shout, in some I cry and even once I imagined him being so apologetic and grateful to me – taking my hands and asking me to forgive him. Just the thought of that now with him in front me shudder in embarrassment.

The entire time we were trying to get back from Estonia I prayed and promised the entire time that he would wake up and now here we were and I couldn't think of anything to say.

She would be back soon.

He lifts the croissant and takes a bite. A low groan escapes him and everything in me stills. I hide my smile behind my hot chocolate. "How...how do you feel?"

His head has fallen back as he chews with his eyes closed. Maybe he expected me to leave? I mean we weren't exactly having a conversation and he was exhausted and -

"Like I have gone one hundred rounds with Galina and then been dragged behind a car across the country."

"Huh, I thought it would be worse."

The small smile is back and a feeling surges through me, chasing away the awkwardness.

After a few moments he reaches for his mug and flinches.

"Let me."

"I can-"

"I know you can but it would be a bit stupid that after all this time resting you pull more muscles and are in bed even longer. I need you up as soon as possible because you promised to train me."

"I see. So bringing me food is basically all in your self interest." He takes the mug from me, his finger are cool as they brush mine.

"Basically. What other reason would there be?"

"Kindness? Pity maybe."

"Hmph. I'm not that kind and if I pitied you I'd probably avoid you." He looks more amused. "You do look awful. Try to eat."

"You have to work on your bedside manner."

"Get over it." He smiles and closes his eyes. After a few moments he lifts the mug back to his lips.

I watch my foot jiggling and debate the next thing about to come out of my mouth. "You owe me an apology." I force myself to look at him. "You left me to deal with Spiridon for more than my two hour limit."

I'd intended the joke to soften the tone but I don't think it's worked. I couldn't help it – all this time under the daydreaming of him being well, ease dropping on all the conversations going on in the house, i'd had this slow building anger. From his behaviour in Estonia that nearly killed him, to telling me to leave him, to telling us to leave him and calling us stupid, the whole plane situation (that I have regular dreams about), from being alone and left behind in this house with her. In this house – her presence was poisoning it for me.

"Rose." He looks so weak it almost makes me feel guilty but just as fleeting this though is the rage burns brighter - he did this to himself. "I don't even know where or how to begin."

"I know." I say, my voice steady. "You can start by finishing this and working on getting out of bed. I'm serious about training, Dimitri. You owe it to me."

His dark eyes regard me and I hope I am far from that frail, pathetic and small little girl he found in the woods. "Okay."

I nod and take a long drink.

"I know Tasha being here must be awkward for you." He says after a minute, "But she's not like her brother." I stare at the carpet. He tries to sit up. "I've known her a long time. She's a good friend."

"A good friend." I echo.

"Yes. Without her I might be dead – the Alchemist care is because of her."

"Victor would of-"

"No Victor wouldn't of." he says bitterly. "I let him down."

I can't bring myself to believe that Victor wouldn't of sent medical help. Maybe Natasha was just faster to act and Victor had been too busy. However the dark look on Dimitri's face convinces me he's telling the truth. Victor didn't and wouldn't pay Keith and all the alchemists to be here taking care of him but she did. She's the reason they were waiting for us when we landed.

I let him down.

Was Victor angry with him? If she hadn't of gotten the medical care ready then he would of died and I can't believe Victor would want that. Dimitri is his Guardian and that's important, having the best Guardians isimportant.

It's hard to connect this to the man that helped rescue me and took me into his home but then again… I'm useful to Victor. I'm leverage on the Ozera's.

"And without you and Spiridon, I would certainly be dead too."

I stuff all the other feelings away and force my nose to wrinkle. "Oh wow, you owe Spiridon."

His lips twitch, "Now you pity me?"

"Oh yeah. God knows what he'll demand." I make myself stand. "Natalie is calling me soon. If you need anything just shout across the hall, I'll leave our doors open."

I want to stay even if we don't speak but something in me is too attuned to him and I know how much he's hating this. That no matter how I angry I am, how pissed off Spiridon is, how disappointed and frustrated Victor might be – it's nothing to how he's feeling about himself. Being stuck in bed, weak and relying on others to look after him.

I think of the time he turned to me on the stairs and told me I didn't need to worry about him.

"Also." I turn back to his grim expression, "We need to fatten you up now so if you think of anything you want me to make let me know."

The sooner he's out of bed then the sooner she wont have to be around.

He gives a stiff nod.

I close his door three quarters of the way and mine the same. I just have time to get myself curled up on my bed when Natalie calls.

"HAIIiiii."

I put the phone back to my ear. "Hello Nat."

"How are you?"

"The same really. Dimitri's awake."

"Oh that's good."

"Yeah, I even got him to eat something but he's still really weak."

"Hmmmm that's good."

She's not really listening so I just cut to the part she's waiting on. "How are you? How's sch-"

"Oooooh my god! Christina Ozera, he's the nephew of the Natasha who's staying with you, set Logan 's blazer on fire – while he was wearing it!"

I make myself respond while processing,"That's – crazy."

"RIGHT! And get this he did it because Logan was being a dick to Lissa. Like, one minute it's all tense and awkward because our teachers trying to get Lissa to focus and specialise and obvs she can't and Logan starts making nasty little comments – he's always had a thing for Liss and she's ALWAYS turned him down – and then I'm trying to get round Ralph to ask when he got diagnosed with little dick syndrome and then BOOM! He's on fire!"

"Was he alright?"

"Oh yeah, he was completely fine. Only his hair was singed but that's because he started thrashing around to throw the blazer off."

I keep my voice level. "Are Christian and Lissa friends?"

"No! I don't think they've ever said two words to each other. He's super quiet. I only ever see him talk to the boys but they all really like him which is really strange because he never speaks. How can you really like someone that never speaks? I tried to ask Ralph about it but he's a boy so he doesn't get it. 'Christians cool' thats all I got."

"Natasha left to go to the school."

"Yeahhhh, I bet Kirova is going mental but in my opinion is, like, it'll work in Natasha's favour because the control Christian had is unbelievable. If Ralph did that we'd be planning a funeral." She laughs and I cant help but run my fingers over my arm, where under the fabric my scar was still pink with a lattice of white.

A distant voice says something to Natalie. "I'm filling Rose in. Rose you're on loud speaker, Lissa is here."

"Hi Lissa."

"Hi, you okay?"

"Ohhh I was just filling her in on today. Rose said Natasha's on her way to the school."

"It's so embarrassing." Lissa says and I wish I was there with her. "I'm stunted. Everyone knows I can't specialise. I'm a freak."

"No you're not." Natalie and I say in unison.

The lines quiet and I hope Natalie's hugging her or something.

"Well this will take your mind off it. I've spoke to daddy and after much negotiation and promising and analysing the potential risks, plus the Guardian ratio to students and budget etc. My Halloween party, albeit smaller, is going ahead."

More silence.

"What?" Lissa says and even over the phone it's loud.

"I know. I'm amazing."

"No but seriously, what?"

"I'd like to add to that – what?" I say.

I know Natalie's taking our astonishment as a compliment. I can practically feel her excited energy through the phone.

"Yes. So it's gonna be smaller but that just means more exclusive. I've already pulled strings for Gaurdians from school to run patrol because look at it this way – the senior year will be at my house so surely a portion of the Guardians should therefore be at the house? Like duh. Plus we already have three, well two and half Gaurdians there anyway because daddy is back soon. Oh and I've already invited Andre soooo technically his personal Guardian will be coming also. See? I've nailed it."

"You're unbelievable." Lissa says after a beat. "There was just a whole school attacked and Victors Guardian was attacked in Estonia and you've somehow managed to convince him to let us have a party?"

"Lissa, this is more reason to have a party. Everyone's so miserable and stressed out. Daddy's always saying we need to forge on so why not blow off some steam along the way?"

"Unbelievable." Lissa repeats.

"I am."

"But this will mean no drinking right?"

"What the hell would be the point then?"

"Are you kidding me? How have you got permission for us to drink?"

"Well, no. Daddy would never verbally agree to that but he also hasn't verbally said NO drinking. So it's the unwritten rule: don't act like a complete dill hole and we'll look the other way. Lissa if you say unbelievable one more time I'll push you off the bed."

I laugh.

"So Rose this is happening next week Saturday so I'll be home from next Thursday and the decorators will be there Friday."

I'm trying to process. "Natalie how many people will be here?"

"Like forty – sixty tops."

My mouth opens and closes. Sixty. Sixty people, a mix of Moroi and Dhampirs. I lie back slowly.

"It's so last minute so I need to nail my final decisions tonight to send on to the team. I also need to go over the guest list with you Lissa – actually the file is there if you wanna look at it. Also costumes."

"Costumes?" I'm desperately trying to pull everything I know about Halloween from my memory and memory consists of FRIENDS, Gossip Girl, Modern Family, Harry Potter books and movies. "That sounds...fun."

"Fun? Its going to be fabulous."

"'Dead Man's Ball'? That's the theme you're thinking of?" Lissa says.

"Thought of – past tense. Besides being a bit distasteful it also sounds too formal. That's more like masks and champagne and I've allllll my life to throw those kind of sophisticated parties. We're young and things are shit so the theme is 'FUN'."

"Just a tad distasteful." Lissa mutters and I jump in before Natalie can get defensive.

"Fun?" I ask.

"Well fun and still kinda classy. We're not ten but also it'll be you're first Halloween so we gotta do some of the staple stuff."

My stomach has something fluttering in it but I find myself smiling. "Um sure. I don't know much about Halloween so yeah, thanks Natalie. It sounds...cool."

"Oh baby my parties are the coolest."

"Nat, I am not dressing like a 'Pirate Queen fierce and fabulous'." Lissa says.

"Oh no you wouldn't be. If we went with the Pirate theme the whole house would be like Pirate ship slash treasure cove and I'd be the Pirate Queen. You and Rose would be the wenches."

"No." Lissa and I say together.

A few hours later Natalie has text me over a list of things that I need to get. Some of the things I could order with the groceries but others I'd need to find on other websites. I'm coming down the stairs reading the list over when the door beeps and swings open.

"Hey kid." Ben grins.

He wheels in a large case and props it against the wall. I hear more doors closing and the crunch of gravel coming from the drive. Ben shrugs off his battered back pack and dumps it. I pick up the pace on the stairs and before I can overthink it – I hug him.

The overthinking kicks in when I realise he's hugging me back. He gives me a tight squeeze and I feel the warmth start creeping up my neck. I step back and try to hide my embarrassment.

"You don't smell good." Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.

"Gee thanks."

I spy spiked blonde hair over his shoulder. "I'm glad you're back even if you do smell."

"You're standards remain too low, Rose." Spiridon says, swerving past both of us and taking the stairs two at a time with bags in hand.

"Victor, I'll bring this up to you suite." Ben says over his shoulder.

Behind him Victor enters with his head bent over a leather binder. "Yes, thank you."

Ben grabs the luggage and follows Spiridon. Victor stands in the foyer, eyes running over the papers and I can't think of anything else to do but wait. About a minute later he sighs and closes the binder.

"Hello Rose." He smiles but its more for pleasantries than feeling. I'm not upset by it – I don't see him in the same way as I did before Estonia. Before I knew how easy it is for him to cut ties to people that are no longer useful. If anything I feel like I understand him better now I see past the facade of niceness. I am useful to him so I know where I stand.

"How are you?

Flashes of images run through my mind. Blood on concrete, blood under my finger nails, the roar of wind around my head like some enraged beast, steel grey eyes, bullets, glass, Dimitri's pale face – her out side the house.

I smile, "Fine thank you. Coffee?"

"Cream and sugar. Maybe something of whatever it is that smells nice. Thank you."

I nod. I turn to the kitchen but atop the stair I spy Spiridon leaning against the door frame of Dimitri's room. A few minutes later he strolls in and hops up onto the island.

"You look like you've put on a few pounds."

"Nine."

"I don't cringe at the sight of you any more."

"Ha ha."

He follow me into the kitchen and watches me make up a tray for Victor. "Belikov isn't in the best mood."

I give him a look. "Would you be?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect him to look happy to see me and have a friendship bracelet made." He lounges back against the island. "I thought having Tasha here would help him surpass the broody stage of things. Get back on form etc."

"He hasn't been awake long and then she had to go to the school."

"She" he repeats in a tone that I definitely did not use. "Haven't warmed up to her then?"

I pour Victors coffee and very calmly turn to him. His smirking face is equally annoying as it is comforting in the fact it's familiar. I'd also guessed during all my time alone that Spiridon didn't just poke at someone's cuts because he found it fun, well not just because he found it fun, but he did it to size someone up, to see what it takes to get under their skin and how he can use that to his advantage.

He expects me to bite out of my fear of her and her family.

"Would you warm up to someone who stands by as you're mothers raped and tortured?"

The smirk disappears. Good.

"She didn't stand by. She only found out the week before we arrived."

I return his flinty gaze. "You could at least try and sound like you mean that."

I leave the kitchen before he can try and lie his way around it. They can all worship the ground she walks on and see her as the 'good' of the Ozera's and annoyingly I'm grateful to her for what she's done to for Dimitri (and this only makes how I feel about Victor worsen because he should have been the one to help) but I will never forgive her or believe she's good.

I bring the tray to Victor. He has papers spread out over the coffee table and doesn't look up from the one in his hand as I put it down.

I busy myself by finding all the new laundry dumped from the suitcases. Separating what can go in the machine and Victors suits - someone would have to take them to the dry cleaners. Spiridon and Ben have joined Victor in the living room. The TV's on but none of them are paying it attention.

"If he can't be up and active in time for the festivities he will have to go re-cooperate at the school." Victor says.

"He'll be up."Spiridon replies and beside him Ben is looking at his lap. Victor gives a sceptical hum. Now that they've all settled they look exhausted.

I catch Victor's eye. "Ah Rose, I haven't had a moment to properly speak with you. Come sit." I take the empty chair. "I'm so relieved to see you safe. Spiridon tells me you were quite brave and of some great assistance to him."

"I said no such thing." Spiridon says, splaying his arms over the back of the couch to Ben's annoyance.

Victor smiles warmly, that inviting smile that transforms his face from the politician to a father.

I shrug. "I did what I could."

"What you were told." Spiridon corrects and I wish there was something sharp around to drive into his knee. He grins broadly as if he can tell what I'm thinking.

"At the very least you've grown more tolerance for him?" Victor grins and takes a sip of his drink.

"It's easier when you've figured out he just loves attention."

"That's it." Victor's smile lingers and then slips into a serious line. "Rose, I'm sure all you want to do is put it behind you but I would appreciate you were able to run through the events in Estonia again for me, in your own words."

"Why? Can Spiridon not remember?"

Three sets of eyes look at me in surprise.

I stuff that incessant anger back down into the pit in my belly where it belongs and hope it goes back to sleep. Having Natasha around has made it more volatile and unpredictable and even though this was definitely not the time or place and definitely not the people to take it out on – I couldn't help but be smug at the look on their faces.

Spiridon's expression breaks first and weirdly I think he's trying not to laugh.

Victor's voice is smooth. "Spiridon's gave me detailed account, what he's gleaned from both you and Dimitr's experience but I insist, your own words."

I sigh and then run them through every single thing I remember, trying to remain disconnected from feelings that try to come with it. It surprises me how accurately I recall it even though it happened over a month ago the only other people id experienced it with I hadn't been able to talk to. There were times I could almost believe it didn't happen, the late hours of the morning when I was trying to sleep and there had been no one to talk to about it but then I'd remember Dimtiri was across the hall unconsciousness which made it very real.

Victor listens intently, nodding here and there like he was mentally ticking off a list in his head.

When I'm done I unfold my arms and inspect the hangnail that's been annoying me.

"And how are you?' I look up to find Victor fixing me with a look of mild concerned. Ben the same. Spiridon is on his phone. "That was quite a traumatic experience."

I shrug. I'm not the one that nearly died. Victors frowning so I better think of something to say. "Being back has been good. I've been walking and baking everyday. Talking to Natalie and Lissa."

I'd been trying to keep myself busy. Anytime I'd found myself starting to think about Dimitri surrounded by alchemists and lying lifeless in his bed with her close by I'd found something to clean or a new recipe to try. Once I even found a video online to follow to strength train using only body weight. I'd been in agony the next day.

"Are you sleeping well?"

"Yes."

He nods. "Well, lets get back to normality for a little while. Has Natalie filled you in on Halloween? Ah, yes, I think a little festivity is what's needed to bring everyone spirits back up. The house will be well protected."

My smile feels plastic. I realise my knee is bouncing and I make it stop. After few more minutes of small talk I politely excuse myself. I go back to my room and order things from Natalie's list. I keep my door wide open finding myself enjoying the catches of the boys voices and encase Dimitri needs something I'll be able to hear him.

My phone dings and tells me Natalie's added me to a chat were she shares links to theme boards for her party. I can't help but be excited. I'd done well in the school in Estonia, I'd kept up the verbal volleyball with Adrian and even at the dorm party I'd held my own. I could handle a High School Party.

Couldnt I?

/

Hello Angels, nice to see you again. I think apologising for being absent so long isn't worth much unless I add some explanation. This past year has been hard and strange and volatile on a lot of us - and i hope your all safe and staying safe - and it was made even harder for us as a family as my brother is terminally ill. My weeks are planned around working my 9-5, care taking and managing the normal stuff like cleaning the house when i have the time. My love for writting dissapeared. I had no time to read and really I had little time for myself.

I'm trying to carve out the time to be with this story as I love it and have it all mapped out ready to come to fruition. I cannot thank you enough for still having this bookmarked and being patient - I'm already ahead and will post again shortly.

Stay safe xxx