Kurt was silent the whole trip back. He was casually flicking through the photo album. He was obviously upset but looking at the photos calmed him. He was running his finger over each photo, trying to relive the memory in his head. His right hand was holding his necklace running it back and forth through his fingers. The others was chatting amongst themselves not wanting to invalid his time. Wes had a hand on his thigh gently, comforting him through it. Every now and then something would distract Kurt and his nose was pressed firmly at the window trying to get a better look.

"We're here beautiful." Blaine said softly looking through the mirror at his boyfriend.

Kurt looked up surprised and looked around, not believing him and then he nodded and Blaine got out and walked around and opened the door for him. He reached over and grabbed the photo album gently off his lap and held his hand out.

"I didn't get them flowers." Kurt said bluntly turning towards his boyfriend. Wes looked at Blaine and smiled sadly. Kurt reached over and grabbed his hand and Blaine pulled out the car.

"I normally get flowers." Kurt said in realisation and he frowned. "I forgot."

Blaine leaned in and pulled him into a hug, running his hand down his back comforting him.

"I promise next time we will get flowers for them both. Okay?" Blaine said pulling back and kissing him forehead. Kurt nodded and they walked back into their school.

"Do you think they will know?" Kurt whispered as they got into the reception.

"Baby, they know that you love them." Blaine said gently turning to him lifting his head up with a finger.

"I broke routine." Kurt replied back keeping his eyes on the desk in front of them. "I never break routine."

Blaine looked over to the others who was looking at him concerned. Blaine turned back to him and placed his two hands on his face, cupping them softly.

"You're under so much stress baby. They wouldn't want you to worry about anything like that." Blaine said trying to make his boyfriend feel better.

"Yeah. I guess." Kurt said smiling a little but his gaze kept on the desk. "I think I'm just gonna go lay down."

Blaine leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to him lips and took his hand again.

"Thank you." Kurt said turning to his friends and they smiled and nodded.

"Do you think he'll be okay? Today was a lot for him." Jeff said as they reached the common room.

"I hope so babe." Nick replied kissing his cheek.

"I don't think he had time to grieve for his dad properly." Wes added opening the door and making his way to the sofas.

"I agree. His mental wasn't in the best of places and to put all that on top of leaving here it really must of took a tole on his health." David added placing hand on Wes.

"Are you okay Thad?" Jeff asked kindly.

"Yeah. It just reminded me of how he was when he left. He had that look in his eyes again." Thad said smiling sadly at Jeff and sitting down.

"What look?" Wes questioned.

"His eyes. They looked the same as when I found him in the car. Lifeless, dead." Thad said as he looked up towards Wes. "I think he's going to break."

Wes thanked him and he stood up and made his way out the room. He needed to speak to Blaine. Blaine was just leaving the room as he got there.

"Did you hear Thad?" Wes said quietly.

"Yeah. I did. What are we going to do Wes?" Blaine asked looking in the room as Kurt.

Wes stepped forward and looked in the room. Kurt was laying on his bed, his gaze was staring at the wall. He was hardly blinking.

"I don't know." Wes said turning back towards him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "We just need to be there for him when he does."

Blaine nodded and shut the door quietly wanting to give Kurt some room to breathe on his own. They walked back to the common room together.

"He did so well today." Blaine said turning his head to face him. "I was so proud of him."

Wes smiled and nodded. "He did amazing. I was proud of him too."

They both got back and Jeff was standing quickly and walking towards them.

"How was he? Is he okay?" Jeff said in a panic.

"He's currently staring at the wall. He hasn't said anything yet but he's okay for now." Blaine replied back placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you think it'll be okay if I just-

"Of course." Blaine said cutting him off and leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. Jeff thanked them and walked out quickly wanting to see him best friend.

"You was right Thad. He's has that look." Wes said sitting down and sighing.

"What are we doing to do? I can't have him hurting." Nick said sitting down to Blaine and placing a head on his shoulder.

"I wish I knew Nicky." Blaine replied softly joint his hands with his best friends.

"Sweetie?" Jeff whispered entering the dark room. The light was off but the lamp was on.

Kurt never replied. He could see that his friend wasn't sleeping. He walked over and crawled on the bed, getting under the covers. Kurt turned around so he was facing Jeff and moved closer so their faces was just barely touching. Jeff moved his arm underneath his head and Kurt moved his so it was hanging loosely over Jeff's body. Jeff's free hand reached up and starting to play with his hair.

"I don't know why I'm feeling this way." Kurt whispered into his lips and closing his eyes, feeling the sensation of him playing with his hair.

"You miss them sweetie. You're bound to feel this way." Jeff replied back nuzzling his nose to Kurt's.

"I just feel like I'm a permanent basket case mom monde." Kurt whispered again. "I was fine until I wasn't and I can't shake the feeling."

"Shake what feeling sweetie?" Jeff said softly still running his fingers through his hair.

"That I would rather be dead than live in a world without them."

Jeff swallowed and lifted his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. He leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips and Kurt inhaled into it and kissed him back but then he broke. He started to cry softly burying his face into his neck Jeff wrapped his arms round tighter. The others got there quickly after hearing Kurt admit that. They walked in the room and just watched them.

"When will it stop." Kurt bawled into his neck. "I can't do this no more."

Jeff looked over to them all as his own tears started to fall and he shook his head slowly.

"I'm so tired of crying, I'm so tired of remembering, I'm so tired of feeling so empty." Kurt confessed with his face still in his neck. "I'm just so tired of being tired."

"I'm trying so hard." Kurt mumbled into his skin.

"I know baby, god I know how hard you're trying." Jeff said placing a kiss to his head.

"I'm falling apart and I can feel every single piece hitting the ground and it's killing me."

"You save everyone of their pain and their suffering. Let us save you now." Jeff said holding him tighter. Kurt bit his lip and nodded.

So they decided to do what they felt was best. They all took turns to lay with him and talk to him. They would try anything before it came to the point where he switched his humanity off. Nick had swapped with Jeff and was placing kisses on his face while his hand placed with his hair.

"You're so brave Kurt." Nick said whispering softly lifting his head so they could look at eachother.

"I think it's brave that you keep on living, even though you don't know how too anymore." Nick said kissing his head again.

"I think it's brave that you push all the waves that are slowly drowning you everyday and you decide to fight it."

Kurt clung onto him, trying to concentrate on the worlds he way saying.

"I know there are days when you feel like giving up but I think it's so fucking brave that you never do."

Kurt nodded into his neck and thanked him and Nick swapped with David. He wanted to take a different approach. He wanted to make him laugh.

"Do you wanna hear a joke?" David said smiling at his friend and he just nodded.

"I tried phone sex once." David said keeping a straight face.

"What happened." Kurt said as he placed a hand on his arm.

"Cela n'a pas fonctionné. Les trous étaient trop petits."

Kurt let out a chocked laughter and David laughed too. He wrapped his arms round him and after Kurt had finally stopped laughing he spoke.

"Wanna hear another one?" David said smirking and Kurt nodded as another little laugh escaped his mouth.

"What's the different between Ooooh! And Aaaah!"

"What David?" Kurt said trying to keep his laughter at bay. He grip got tighter in anticipation. David had started to laugh, tears falling from his eyes.

"Environ trois pouces." David belted our laughed out and Kurt opened his mouth and gasped before throwing his head back and hitting him playfully on his arm. Kurt went to roll over and nearly fell off the bed but David saved him with made them laugh even harder.

"Thank you." Kurt said as the laughter stopped but a smile was still on his face.

"Always man." David said before ruffling his hair playfully and jumping off the bed. Thad went next and laid next to him and Kurt placed a head on his chest and Thad placed his hand on his arm.

"I'm kinda psychic." Thad said smiling and Kurt rolled his eyes and bit back a laugh. "I have a fifth sense."

"What do you mean?" Kurt questioned turning his head round confused.

"It's like I have ESPN or something, my breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."

Kurt howled out a laugh and the others laughed too.

"Mean girls really?" Jeff asked throwing his head back in laugher. Thad nodded. "When we stayed together we put it on in the morning it's imbedded into our brains."

"Oh my god! I love your skirt! Where did you get it?" Kurt said excitedly turning towards his friend.

"It was my moms in the 80's!" Thad said beaming and Kurt nodded.

"Vintage! So adorable!" Kurt said playfully and Thad grinned and Kurt turned to Jeff.

"That's the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen." Kurt said in disgust and the whole room went up in laughter.

"Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries." Thad said laughing and Kurt rolled his eyes with a grin and kissed him on the forehead and stood up and Wes walked over and swapped places.

"Hey." Kurt said smiling and moving closer and wrapping his arms round his neck. Kurt relaxed at the touch of his bonding partner.

"Hey." Wes said back placing a arm around his waist. They didn't say anything out loud. They just laid there together speaking to each other through their minds.

~how do you feel?

I'm lying to myself

~I know darling

Kurt smiled and his grip got tighter around his neck.

I'm thinking about turning it off

Wes nodded and leaned in and placed a kiss to his lips and pulled back a little.

"You do, whatever you need to do to get through this." Wes said placing his hand to his face, his thumb caressing it.

I don't want too but I know you can feel what I'm feeling

~I can feel it and it scares me Kurt. I would rather you loose your humanity than loose your life

Kurt nodded and leaned in again. "I don't want you to hate me again."

"I could never hate you." Wes said swallowing, holding back the emotions. He didn't want Kurt to do this but he needed too. He couldn't loose him.

"I love you."

Wes grinned and leaned in to kiss him again, his breath tickling's kurt's.

"I love you."

Wes had gave him one last kiss before sitting up and letting Blaine swap with him. Blaine climbed on the bed and laid down so he was facing him.

"You mean the world to me Kurt. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know how I lasted that year." Blaine whispered, leaning in closer.

"You've went though so much, you're still going through so much. That short time without your humanity as much as I hated to admit it, was the first time I've seen you without an ounce of pain."

Kurt nodded and leaned in to kiss him. Kurt pulled back after a few minutes needing air.

"It's amazing really, you came into my life Blaine when I needed you the most and I didn't expect anything but then all of a sudden, you was right in front of me and I knew I had everything I would ever need."

Blaine let out a watery laugh and kissed him again.

"You've give me one of the greatest gifts Blaine, you all have. You've all gave me support and unconditional love. I wish it was enough but it isn't. I can't do this Blaine. I can't keep living this way. I'm scared of what I might do." Kurt said finally confessing.

"I'm so emotionally drained and I feel myself shutting down. I have to do this Blaine, I have to do this to survive for the time being." Kurt whispered as he softly began to cry again.

"I love you so much." Blaine said looking into his eyes.

"I love you so much." Kurt repeated as he leaned in and kissed his deeply, they pulled back and Kurt smiled.

"I'm sorry, for what I might say or do. I'm sorry for the pain I might cause and the anger I might brew. I'm sorry for the lack of love and affection." Kurt said still looking at Blaine.

"I'm sorry I'm a mess and I know that's the last thing you all need right now, but this mess loves you all endlessly and I need you all to know that." Kurt said with a watery laugh and they all nodded and smiled, teary eyed. Blaine grinned and captured in a kiss before pulling back.

"We are going to go now. Give you time to yourself." Blaine said nodding to him. Indicating that they was going to give him the space go do this.

"Okay." Kurt said smiling back and he stood up and leaned over to kiss him on his forehead.

"Come and find us."

Kurt had just got out the shower. He felt different this time than the first time he had switched it off. He felt more himself. He couldn't feel anything like the first time but he didn't feel as dead. The towel was thrown on the floor and he standing naked brushing his teeth. He felt happy without feeling the feeling of being happy. He felt free finally. He actually wanted to see his family which he thought was odd because he couldn't feel nothing for them. He remembered Jeff saying the first time you turn it off is always the worse so maybe this was a blessing it wasn't as bad as the first. He had finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth with the mouthwash and looked at himself. He felt good, more than good. He got dressed quickly, throwing a pair of black ripped jeans and threw a black Alexander McQueen knit jumper over his head. He fixed his hair messily after drying it and pocketed his phone as he walked out the room. He looked himself. He felt more himself. He got to the common room and looked around. Where are they? He looked over and seen that the hatch was open. They was with Sebastian. He made his way over and climbed down and made his way to them. He seen that they was all sitting down talking to him, trying to get him to feed. Kurt rolled his eyes. Such a woman.

"Hey." Kurt said softly smiling and they all looked up. "Is everything good?"

They smiled. Did he not turn it off? Jeff thought and they all thought the same thing. Kurt was different. He was happier but his voice was soft and caring. Maybe he came around.

"Symthe won't feed." David said rolling his eyes and pointed to a very stubborn Sebastian who was smirking.

"I'm not hungry." Sebastian said with the smirk still plastered on his face.

"Is everyone okay?" Kurt said walking over.

"Of course beautiful." Blaine said smiling and he smiled back.

Kurt carried on walking over and grabbed the keys that was on the side of the table. He walked over to the cell door and opened it and stepped through, leaving the gate open. He walked over and stood in front of him.

"Stand up."

Sebastian looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Hummel, leave me be."

Kurt kneeled down in front of him, making his eye level to his.

"If you don't feed, I get weak and I really don't want to have to force you so please, drink." Kurt said picking up the blood bag and opening it with his mouth and handing it to him.

"You do remember what happens when I drink from a blood bag right?" Sebastian said smirking. Kurt nodded and gestured to the bag and Sebastian smiled and took the blood bag and went to put it to his mouth but he tipped it out instead.

"Nah. I'm not hungry."

Kurt watched him pour it out. He watched as the blood pooled and starting to stain the the floor. Ungrateful, fucking little bitch. Kurt smiled at him and Sebastian was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Why are you smiling like that Hummel? Did you get laid because that's the only time I see you smile like that. When you're satisfied." Sebastian said tilting his head at the side. Kurt stood up and made his way out the cell and grabbed another blood bag and made his way back inside, walking back towards Sebastian and kneeling back down in front of him. He smirked before grabbing his neck forcefully. Sebastian choked out in surprise and Kurt smiled again.

"You're going to feed and if you don't do it willingly I will force it down your fucking throat. I'm not playing games anymore Sebastian. I tried to be nice but you seem more inclined to listen when my hands are around your neck." Kurt said smirking and he tilted his head too, mimicking him.

"I said, I'm not hungry Hummel. Are you fucking deaf?" He choked out as kurt's grip got tighter.

"Nope." Kurt said bluntly before pushing him to the floor and climbing onto him and ripping the bag with his teeth and forcefully pouring it into his mouth.

"Swallow it or I'll pull your teeth out one by one." Kurt said again sternly, still the smile plastered on his face.

"Fuck you."

Kurt rolled his eyes and looked up. "Go and get me something I can take his teeth out with."

They looked at him in shock before Kurt spoke again.

"Please." Kurt said softly and Nick nodded and stood and made his way back upstairs.

"You know, I like it when your this way. Brings me great pleasure seeing you so violent."

"Like I said Sebastian, I would rather fuck a girl." Kurt said bluntly, his grip had loosened so Sebastian could talk but he was holding him with enough force to keep him down.

He looked up as he heard the others laughing and he laughed too. He started to look at them all. His family. He tried to feel something but he couldn't. He was just glad he didn't feel the need to make anyone of them suffer. Nick returned shortly after with a pair of pliers.

"Will this do?" Nick said chuckling holding up them and Kurt nodded.

"Thanks Nicky." Kurt said and grabbed the pliers off him and turning towards Sebastian. He wasted him time, he grabbed him by his face which made his mouth to open. He grabbed the pliers and put it to one of his teeth.

"Are you sure you're not going to change your mind? I don't fancy having toothache for the rest of the day." Kurt said bluntly. Sebastian didn't respond and he stopped struggling, his body went limp.

"Fucking do it." Sebastian spat out and Kurt rolled his eyes again.

"Suit yourself."

He clamped it around his tooth and forcefully pulled it out of his gums. Sebastian moaned out in agony and Kurt started to place it onto the next one. Kurt leaned over and spat on the floor, tooth and blood escaping his mouth. It was painful but not as painful as it would be if he had his humanity on.

"You've turned it off?" Sebastian groaned out in pain as he turned his head to the side, spitting the blood out but Kurt pulled his head back. Kurt clamped down on another.

"Yes."

Kurt pulled it another one out and Sebastian cried out but he kept his face straight. It carried on for a while. Kurt didn't know what he was going to do when all his teeth was out. Seven teeth. Seven of his own teeth was on the floor.

"Just drink." Kurt said closing his eyes as the pain washed over him, his mouth already starting to swell.

"No."

Kurt sighed and looked over to his friends. He wanted to carry on but he seen the way they was looking at him. They wasn't scared, they was concerned. They knew he had turned it off now. They knew wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. He wanted to try. He wanted to try and be a better person. Just because he couldn't feel didn't mean he didn't want to the right thing. He looked back down.

"Then starve." Kurt said bluntly before throwing the pliers to his side.

"Oh my god." Kurt laughed and placed his hands on his face.

"What's so funny gorgeous, where's the fight gone." Sebastian said smirking and Kurt just laughed harder.

"It works both ways. I've been sitting here for twenty minutes pulling our teeth out when all I needed to do was drink from the vein." Kurt laughed out standing up wiping the tears from his eyes. He leaned over and picked the pliers up and walked out, shutting the cell door behind him and locking it.

"I'm a fucking idiot."

Blaine stood up and made his way over and they was surprised when Kurt pulled him into a hug.

"Are you good?" Blaine said surprised but hugged him back.

"Yeah. I do actually. I feel great." Kurt said nodding into his shoulder. "Wanna order soup?"

They all laughed and stood up. Kurt walked over to the cell and leaned in.

"Have a nice life Sebastian."

He leaned back and walked away, slotting his hand in Wes's which made Wes turn to him in shock as they carried on walking.

"You're holding my hand." Wes said bluntly staring at them as they walked. They got back into the common and Kurt turned to him.

"Oh yeah. Isn't that what two people when they are in a relationship? Hold hands?" Kurt said playfully and Wes shook his head in amusement.

"We don't understand. Is your humanity off or on? Did you just say that to him to make him fear you?" Blaine said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's off." Kurt said turning his head to him. "I feel different this time. I feel so much more tame. I can't feel nothing but I don't feel inclined to rip peoples heads off if not necessary."

They all laughed and Kurt sat down on the sofa and they joined him.

"I don't feel crippled anymore, I don't feel the need to want to off myself." Kurt said smiling and placed a hand to his face.

"Kurt." Jeff said sternly and he just rolled his eyes.

"It's true. I don't feel anything but I do feel a little bit of myself. I feel more me. I don't feel anything when I look at you, or if I was to kiss you or hold you hand but if that makes you all feel something then I'm more than willing to do that for your benefit. I can't be like last time, hurting you all again. I can't promise you I won't turn at some point but for the time being I want to try to keep you all happy and keep the peace." Kurt said truthfully.

"Jesus." Wes said and Kurt smiled.

"I'm sorry if that hurts any of you. I'm sorry every time I hug one or you you'll know that I'm forcing it but I need some normality and that's something I would normally do."

"Are you kidding? It's more than okay. I can get over that." Jeff said smiling and nodding at him.

"If this is stopping your pain Kurt than I'm all for it. Plus, you look really happy." Nick said and Kurt nodded.

"I feel happy, without feeling happy." Kurt laughed out and they joined in.

"It's cool man. It's better this than last time." David said and Kurt agreed.

"Me and Wes can cope with this as long as you don't feel like you want to hurt yourself." Blaine said into his ear.

"I don't Blaine. Everyone one of those thoughts has just gone away." Kurt said truthfully.

"That was so badass." Thad said laughing.

"What part? The pulling the teeth out or the sass?" Nick said and they all laughed.

"Fuck me, both." Thad added and the laughed got louder. Thad stood up and made his way over to Kurt and kneeled down in front of him and pulled his wrist out.

"I can't sit here and watch you without a tooth in your head it's making me anxious."

Kurt rolled his eyes and grabbed his wrist and bit down with no hesitation. It was a little rough but it was expected with Kurt not having his humanity off. Kurt moaned and gripped his wrist tighter as he felt himself being healed. Kurt was struggling to let go so Wes placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed roughly and Kurt pulled off.

"Thanks." Kurt said with his eyes closed as his grip let go of his wrist.

"No problem." Thad said smiling and kneeling up and sitting back down.

"Have I got my teeth back?" Kurt said opening his mouth towards Blaine.

"Yep. Every single one of them." Blaine laughed as he counted.

They started chatting away together, a pizza had been ordered. Blaine had just went to go and make a phone call to his dad. Kurt was straddling Wes, trailing kisses down his neck.

"You need to stop Kurt. We have a audience." Wes said shakily as his grip on his waist got tighter.

"I've found out I'm quit the exhibitionist when I have no humanity."

Everyone belted out a laughter and Kurt smirked into his neck. He really didn't care who was watching. He carried on and started to trail his hand down to his belt and started to unbuckle it and Wes eyes went wide in shock and threw him off him. Kurt started to cry with laughter.

"Oh my god Kurt." Jeff screamed out holding a hand to his stomach.

Wes was still shocked looking at him.

"I told you Wes. I don't care who's watching." Kurt said confidently before moving himself back onto him quickly.

"Kurt." Wes said sternly

"Shhhh." Kurt hushed out placing a hand to his lips. He leaned down again and started to kiss his neck more needy and Wes was starting to not care who was in the room. Wes moaned as he felt his weight press down on him.

"That's our que to go fellas." David said smiling at his friend.

"What? No fucking way I'm stay-

"Come on Jeff. Leave them too it." Nick said into his ear as he watched them.

"Come on Nicky. They don't care. It's hot." Jeff said again as they watched Kurt make Wes a complete wreck. Nick sat back down and pulled Jeff onto his knee. David choked out a laughter and stared at them.

"Come on David. Look at them. How can we fucking leave?" Jeff said grinning. David turned his head.

Kurt was starting to undo his buttons quickly on his shirt and pulling it roughly off his shoulders. Wes had grabbed the bottom of his jumper and pulled it over his head.

"Okay maybe just for a little bit." David said as he choked out a laughed and sat back down.

"Erm. Are they just gonna casual fuck on the sofa?" Thad said in shock.

"I hope so." Nick said laughing as Jeff nodded in agreement.

Blaine had just walked in and was standing in shock.

"What's going on?" Blaine said wide eyed pointing towards his boyfriend and his bonding partner.

"They're about to fuck." David said bluntly not taking his eyes away from them.

"Oh." Blaine said swallowing as he walked over and sat down next to David. Jesus Christ

"Hummel got some confidence without his humanity." Nick said smirking. Kurt really didn't give a fuck

Kurt's arms was wrapped round his neck and was kissing Wes deeply, his tongue intertwining with his moaning shamelessly loud. He didn't give two fucks. Wes was a wreck. He couldn't think straight. He knew everyone was watching but he couldn't stop. Kurt pushed him down onto the sofa and straddled him again, he pulled back and turned his head.

"You wanna join in Blaine?" Kurt said smirking. His eyes was blown with lust.

"Fucking hell." Thad whispered.

"I wanna watch you get fucked by him." Blaine shot back not leaving his gaze.

"Oh damn." Nick said turning his head to his best friend. Oh my god what is happening

"You're telling me." Jeff whispered back keeping his eyes peeled to his best friend.

"Okay." Kurt said before smirking and turning his head back to Wes.

"Are we really going to do this?" Wes said out of breath.

"Fuck yes."