(A/N): This chapter has taken me longer than I expected to, even if I had most of it written up already before I posted the last one. But I couldn't figure out how to continue it properly, and I just hope I've gone and done it justice. I fear I haven't, but oh well. Rachel and Eddie in this story didn't want to do as they were told, hence this chapter in the first place. Not quite as long as previous chapters, but hey, read, enjoy and let me know what you think as always.

What the Heart Wants

Chapter 38

The talent show was something of a success, the governors and the LEA both incredibly pleased with how the merger was coming along, congratulating the entire senior management team and expressing their regret as far as Max was concerned. A few of them had personally offered sympathy to Rachel and Steph for what their kids were going through, but for the most part, the day went by cheerfully, much to everyone's surprise. Lindsay had opened up a little more with Rachel and Alia, and between the three of them, they'd managed to set up their plan before the trial for her mother was due to take place at the end of November. It had involved more than a few phone calls, Rachel calling in favours and Alia blatantly threatening a couple of people, but everything was set up. Lindsay would confess the moment she was put on the stand and the judge would accept it as an admission of guilt. The deal they'd managed to drum up was that if Lindsay confessed at her first chance to do so, she'd get released on bail before her own trial and there was a much higher chance at a suspended sentence. It was the best they could do, but Lindsay had nodded her agreement, looking much lighter once she was no longer hiding her secrets so close to her chest.

Half term had come and gone in a blur, Maxine, Steph and Janeece moving back out of the headmistress' house and Michael staying with them for a couple of nights. The little boy had been understandably upset about Alia and Maxine injured again when he'd visited for a weekend before half term, but had rallied round easily enough when both girls had offered to play racing cars with him for a whole morning. His time with them during the holiday was mostly spent playing with any number of different toys, and pestering Alia, Rachel and Eddie with concerned questions. But the second half of term had shown up in the blink of an eye, bringing with it a grogginess for everyone in the house as they stumbled to make sure they got to school on time. Rachel and Eddie rushed off to a management meeting, whilst Alia settled in the canteen for a leisurely breakfast, as she had a free first thing. Eventually though, Katie had appeared and dragged her outside to practice an oral test they had coming up in French, the playground the only place quiet enough to do so properly. Neither had expected to see Rachel burst out of the side door as though hell was on her heels, halfway through their second practice run.

Alia blinked in surprise as her mum yelled a name out she didn't recognise, though that surprise doubled as Rachel fairly ran past her as fast as she could, only slowing down a little to whip Alia's phone from her hand as she fumbled for her car keys with the other. "Rach!" She yelled out after the woman, but the headmistress had already climbed into her car and was peeling out of the car park before Alia could even begin to start running after her.

"What the hell was all that about?" Katie asked, staring in the same direction as Alia with just as much surprise as the dark haired girl.

"I… haven't a clue. Come on, we need to find Eddie." Both girls ran into the school as quickly as they could, ignoring multiple shouts to slow down as they raced up the stairs, barely slowing their stride as Eddie's room proved to be entirely empty. "Rachel's office, let's try there." Alia panted out, most students making a path for the two frantic sixth formers as they ran down the upper corridor at full pelt, practically skidding into the antechamber. "Bridget. Eddie?" Alia panted. Bridget eyed the pair in concern, but she gestured through to Rachel's office for them all the same as the man they'd been looking for exited the room, closely followed by Kim and Chris. "Eddie, mum."

"She's driven off somewhere, left her phone here on her desk. We think it's part of a current safeguarding concern." Eddie informed her quickly, his hands on Alia's upper arms to try and help her regain her breath, though he was eyeing both sixth formers in worry.

"No, mine." Alia took a deep breath, trying to get all her words out in one go. "Rach ran past, took my phone. She has my phone on her." Eddie directed both girls into Rachel's office, getting them sat down as Chris brought the girls a glass of water each.

"Ali, you're sure?"

"She snatched it from Ali's hand." Katie rasped out after a sip of water. "Straight up thefted it and then got in her car and left in a hurry."

Eddie dialled Alia's number from his mobile quickly, his face tightening in a mixture of anger and fear as it went to voicemail. "Tell me you don't have a password on your phone, please." He practically begged of the sixteen year old. Alia frowned a little but shook her head.

"No, I don't have the newest model. Rach got me the one before you get personalised passwords. You just hold down the lock button on my phone to unlock it."

Eddie made to answer her when his phone rang, the caller ID informing him it was the sixth former currently sat in her mother's office with him. Which meant it could only be one person. "Rach?"

"Eddie, it's me. I don't have long. I'm following Bianka and her dad."

"Rach, the hell are you thinking? Come back here and we'll deal with it from the school."

"Have you told the police yet?"

"Yes, Chris called them after we got notification you'd left school grounds."

"Right, okay, good. Tell them it's a white van, L831 UKF."

"Rachel-"

"It's on the Meadow Estate, heading west out of town. Eddie, I can't be on the phone whilst I'm driving. I've got to go."

"Rachel!" Eddie stared at his phone in mild disbelief as she hung up on him. When would she start thinking of herself first for a change? He sighed, turning to a worried looking Kim and Chris. "She's following Bianka and her dad. We need to contact the police again."

"And then?" Kim queried.

"We get in touch with Mrs Vale again. Other than that, we wait. It's all we can do."

…

Rachel didn't know what had possessed her to follow Bianka rather than let the police deal with things, though she did manage to send off a quick text from Alia's phone to Eddie, telling him she was at the Helmsley Forest near the lake, that there was a caravan there and to inform the police because she was going in there. How her daughter managed to use the contraption was beyond her, but she somehow figured out how to use the texting part that was different to her own phone, ignoring the way the phone rang immediately, though it vibrated rather than rang out as a testament to Alia's keeping it on during school time. She placed the phone in her coat pocket, approaching the caravan and introducing herself to Gary Vale, Bianka's dad, growing increasingly worried for the girl as her father's behaviour became increasingly erratic. At one point, she was outside the caravan with the man, who was sat staring at her scathingly as she tried to convince him to let her take Bianka back to school with her.

"Have you got a husband?" Gray questioned abruptly.

"No." Rachel admitted with a little crease in her brow.

Gary smirked bitterly at her. "I didn't think so. All that yakking you do."

"I do understand how frustrating this is for you, but you must realise this isn't the way to do things." She tried to reason with him yet again.

"I know what's best for my family. She's my daughter. Bet you don't have one of those either." He scoffed at her. "She's seen the last of her mother, that's for sure."

"Actually, I do have a daughter, Mr Vale, and I do understand wanting to be there for your child, every moment of every day, for both the highs and the lows. But this," she gestured at the caravan, noticing that Bianka stood, concerned, in the open doorway, "this isn't the way to go about it." She managed to somehow talk her way into the caravan, honestly terrified of what would happen to the girl if she didn't. She tried to keep up a cheerful front for the blonde child's sake even if it irritated the girl's father, asking her what she'd gotten for her birthday and telling her a few stories of her own daughter's birthdays, including how she'd wanted ice cream sundaes instead of cakes since she was five years old. Unfortunately though, even Rachel's forced levity wasn't enough and after a few more fights with Gary, he had them both in the corner of the caravan cowering away from him, gas from the pipe he'd cut filling the enclosed space rather rapidly. Rachel fought the urge to cough, instead pulling in Bianka tighter to her and hoping that the police would show up soon, that the girl in her arms could be replaced by her daughter soon enough. "Gary, think about what you're doing." Rachel managed to choke out as they heard a woman yelling from outside the caravan, holding Bianka safely as far from the man as possible.

"Make him stop. Please, make him stop." Bianka begged Rachel from her place under her headmistress' arm, trying to keep from coughing at the gas in her lungs. "Dad, stop it, you're scaring me!"

Rachel tried to get past him with the blonde girl, but quickly backed off as he brandished the sharp knife at her. She really didn't need to be stabbed in a caravan in the middle of nowhere by a mad man. "Come on Gary, just let her go! She's your daughter, please!"

"This is all down to you." Gary met her gaze head on, eyes wild and glazed with anger. Somehow, Rachel doubted he was even addressing her anymore. However, the threat was all too real, and she just knew she was going to go up in flames, only this time there would be no chance of her being saved. Her free hand moved to cover her scar instinctively. Maybe it'd be quick, and her daughter would be alright, eventually. No, her daughter was why she needed to fight, needed to get herself and Bianka out of there, as soon as possible. She needed to be able to wrap her arms around her child at least one more time. Rachel took the chance when the lighter Gary was using didn't work, elbowing him with a strength she didn't know she possessed as she hurried Bianka past him and practically pushed the pair of them out of the door, grabbing hold of the blonde girl's hand and racing as far from the caravan as possible. They needed to get away.

The caravan blowing up wasn't really a surprise, but the heat on her back terrified the headteacher, transported for a moment back to the school, to a fire she'd been trapped in, unable to escape from, as she fell to the ground, instinctively shielding Bianka with her body as the small mobile home went up in billowing flames behind them. She slowly handed over the child to her hysterical mother, standing up to stare at the place that just moments earlier, she'd been trapped in. It so easily could have gone up with both her and Bianka still inside.

Fumbling in her pocket, she managed to locate Alia's phone, dialling Eddie's number again. She had to bite back a sob as it wasn't her deputy that answered, but her own sixteen year old. "Mum?"

"Oh, Ali." A few tears slipped unbidden down her cheek, still staring unseeingly at the raging fire before her.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. So is Bianka, tell Eddie and the others that. Her dad… Her dad's dead. He cut the gas line, tried to kill all three of us."

"Oh god. Rach."

"I love you, Alia."

"I love you too. Are you coming back to the school tonight?"

"Yes, I'll be there as soon as the police have finished with me and the Vales. I love you sweetheart." Rachel felt the need to repeat the sentiment, it having hit her hard that she'd nearly lost her life, again, and she could have gone with the last thing her child remembering was that she'd stolen her phone without a word.

"I love you too mum. See you soon."

"Bye." Rachel hung up, resisting the urge to burst into tears as she turned back to the small family crouched in the grass where she and Bianka had landed. She had to be the headteacher first, for Bianka and Michael's sakes. She told the police everything she knew and suspected before blindly wandering back across the field to her car, stopping in surprise as she passed the ambulance and Mrs Vale's voice broke her reverie.

"Thanks. Thank you."

Rachel didn't reply, instead making her way back over to her car. Somehow, though she wasn't entirely sure how, she managed to drive herself back to the school, pulling into a full car park as the school day wasn't quite over and done with just yet, about ten minutes more to go before they would be leaving the building in droves.

She was met at the front doors by Alia, who offered her a tremulous smile as Rachel ran straight to her daughter, engulfing the sixteen year old in a tight hug, burying her face in the girl's brunette waves and allowing a couple of her tears to fall. "I love you so much." She whispered brokenly before forcing her mask to come into play and letting her daughter out of her embrace, though a glance informed the sixteen year old she needed to stay close by. Entering the school, Rachel was faced with a stony faced Chris, who indicated near silently for her to follow him up to her office. She informed him in clipped sentences what was going to happen for Bianka, Alia barely two steps behind her the entire time as she reached the antechamber and found Kim in the doorway waiting for her. She barely heard Chris tell the assembled students to go home. "Kim, it was so close. Actually, I just need… can I just…" She clutched hold of her daughter's hand as Kim bade her to go in an understanding tone, practically dragging the sixteen year old into her thankfully empty office with her. Alia closed the door softly as Rachel took her coat off, wrapping it up in a ball as she sat herself primly on the sofa. Alia waited for a moment or two before moving over and taking the coat from her, sitting down beside her mum as she finally broke, gathering Alia into her arms as she sobbed heart wrenching cries into Alia's hair, crying for all that had happened that day, all that could have happened, and the new nightmares she'd no doubt have over the day's events.

Eventually, her cries died down and she stopped shaking, letting Alia up in her embrace as she raised her hand to wipe at her red rimmed eyes. "Go on," She croaked out. Alia frowned at her in confusion.

"Go on what?"

"Let me have it. I know, I screwed up today." Rachel braced herself for the yelling, the lecture she'd been steeling herself for from her daughter the entire way back to the school. The one she'd gotten after racing back into the school with Denzel and the gun had been legendary. To her surprise, Alia only stared at her with wide, tear filled eyes.

"I think you're beating yourself up enough for the both of us right now. I'm just glad you're alright. I can't lose you too, mum." Rachel held her tighter as there was a knock at the door before it opened, revealing Chris, Kim and Eddie, the former two of which seemed concerned and understanding, but Rachel could see the concern and anger fairly radiating from her deputy as they all let themselves into her office.

"No matter what you say, I'm pretty sure we could all do with a drink." Chris held up the bottle of wine he was carrying as he sat down on the other side of Alia, dragging the water glasses towards him to fill up. "Red wine is required."

"You might be right there." Her voice was croaky from her crying spell, a little thick from all the tears, but she sounded much more herself than she had on the phone to the sixteen year old. "Eddie."

"Don't." His voice was sharp, causing Rachel and Alia to both flinch at his tone.

"Okay. Okay. How did he get in here?" Rachel mused.

"If you're determined enough, you'll find a way." Chris reasoned. "Can't wrap the school in barbed wire."

"Rach, mum. This is a problem for another day. Leave it, just for tonight." Alia glanced up at her from her position in Rachel's arms and Rachel was reminded of a couple of hours earlier, when there was another girl there she needed to keep safe, protect. Being a mother would always come first, and she was genuinely sorry she'd clearly terrified her daughter like she had today.

"Alright, just for tonight." She took the glass Chris offered her with a nod of thanks, taking a sip to steady her nerves before glancing back at Eddie's stony face. She managed barely another five minutes of stilted conversation before Alia caught on and managed to herd Chris and Kim from the office, offering Rachel a sympathetic look before closing the door on them both. "Eddie." She tried again, standing shakily from her spot on the sofa.

"No, Rach, don't… don't do that." He glanced away from her and Rachel felt her heart drop. No, she couldn't deal with Eddie walking away, not after the day she'd already had. He looked defeated and angry and hurt all rolled into one and despite everything, if he did choose to walk away she couldn't blame him. She'd be devastated but she wouldn't blame him.

"Don't do what?"

"That tone of voice when you say my name, like whatever I'm about to say is ridiculous and overreacting." Eddie gestured blindly at the door to the office. "Never mind me, your daughter nearly lost the only parent she's got left today, again. Rach, the hell were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't." Rachel fought back her tears again, knowing they would only serve to irritate her, and god only knew how Eddie would react if she were to burst into tears. She'd hope it would be like when Alia had been shot the second time, but she really doubted it. "I wasn't thinking Eddie. I'd taken Ali's phone and was in the car before I knew what I was doing."

"You could've turned round at any point and you didn't."

"I know. There was just something there that was telling me I needed to do it, needed to make sure she was safe. I…" She took a deep breath. "Eddie, I know how close I came to losing it all, losing you and Ali, everything. That terrifies me. But you knew who I was before you got involved with me, you know I rush in without thinking of what could happen to me. And it terrifies me that my own baby girl has somehow inherited that insane streak too. But I can't change it, and I wouldn't want to. You fell in love with me as I am, and unfortunately, this is part of who I am."

Eddie stared at her for a long moment. "I can't do this." He turned before she could respond and stormed out of the office. Rachel waited barely a minute before she rushed after him, tearing through the surprisingly empty school only to sink down onto the front steps as realisation kicked in and the tears welled back up in her eyes. She jumped a few minutes later as Alia lowered herself to sit beside the headmistress on the front steps to the school, looking out over the empty playground.

"Why are you sat here? You'll catch a cold." Alia admonished softly.

Rachel glanced at the sixteen year old, willing her tears not to fall for the third or fourth time that day. "I think I ruined everything, Ali. I think Eddie's finally through with me, seen sense and gotten the hell out of this mess my life seems to be."

Ali's mouth fell open in shock. "No, no, he's crazy about you mum. Maybe you misheard or misread it or something?"

Rachel shook her head miserably. "His exact words were 'I can't do this' and then he stormed out. I hoped he'd just gone to get some air or something but…" She motioned out to the car park, where only a couple of cars were still stationed. "His car's gone, which means he's left, gone." She let out a wet sounding, self-deprecating laugh. "Can't say I blame him. I'd run as far as I could if I were him too."

Alia badly wanted to defend Eddie, tell her mum that the man had borne everything else really well, but she knew Rachel wouldn't lie about what he'd said, and his car being gone did lend credence to him actively trying to get away from his girlfriend. Plus, he'd used the one phrase that both of them hated with a passion, that signalled they were on their own once again. It didn't look good. Surreptitiously, she checked her phone, which had been returned by Rachel up in her office, but there was no call, no text. Nothing. She sighed deeply, placing her head gently on Rachel's shoulder. "Come on, let's go home."

"Do you not have plans tonight?" Rachel checked, even as she stood and helped her child to stand up too, the pair making their way back into the school for Rachel's things, reaching the office fairly quickly.

"No. Max is grounded for whatever reason, Jan's going to a party and Jack's still not speaking to me." Alia tried to sound unaffected, but Rachel saw straight through it and wrapped her daughter in a gentle hug. "Seems he got off the crazy roundabout of my life for good and I can't blame him." Rachel grabbed her coat and bag, only just remembering to grab her phone from the file she'd accidentally left it in and place that in her handbag.

"He'll come round love, just give it time." Rachel found herself saying as they both exited the school and climbed into the car for the short trip home, though they did stop at a supermarket on the way for a bottle of red wine and quite a bit of chocolate. Rachel had been a little confused at the closer than usual inspection she received until Alia laughingly informed her of how security guards followed anyone in the Waterloo Road uniform, no matter who they were with.

They got home and changed quite quickly into more comfortable clothing, though Alia did require some help with her top and sling, before settling in the living room on one of the sofas together. Rachel couldn't face paperwork and Alia had no homework due to her arm, so they were technically free for the night. Rachel poured them both a glass of the wine as Alia divvied up the chocolate, smiling sadly as her teenager shot her an incredulous look. "It's one glass and I'm giving you permission. You haven't had any pain medication either today, so that won't affect you drinking. I think we could both do with it after the day we've had."

"You're insane." Alia shook her head, sticking some mindless television show on. The mother and daughter settled in for the evening alone, curled up together.

…

A few hours later, Alia dialled the number without even really thinking about it, though her heart sank further than she thought possible when the timing abruptly stopped and she was shifted to the voicemail. It hadn't rung long enough to be by accident. He really had had enough of her and the mad events that made up her life. She definitely wouldn't be calling again. There was no point, so she was giving up. She owed him that much. She blinked as the beep sounded in her ear to leave a message. "Jack, it's Ali. Obviously. I just really need you… never mind. It doesn't matter. I get it and I won't bother you again. I… I hope you have a good life. Bye Jack, love you." She hung up, pocketing her phone and turning back to leave the kitchen, only to jump in shock at finding Rachel leant against the doorframe. "Jesus, Rach, you made me jump."

"Oh sweetheart." Rachel stepped further into the room, holding out her arms for her daughter as Alia practically melted into her embrace, clutching at her mum's back like a small child. "It'll all be okay, I promise."

"Back at you mum." Alia's voice was muffled in Rachel's shoulder somewhat. "The two of us against the world."

"A team." Rachel agreed, wishing for the heartache to end, for both of them.

…

The following morning came much too quickly for either mother or daughter, neither of them getting much sleep and being fully awake from barely five that morning, which left far too much time on their hands. Rachel hadn't wanted to stick around too late for fear of having Eddie show up before she had to deal with him at school and Alia had wanted to stick with her mum, so both of them had ended up at school for barely half past seven in the office, eating cereal bars and drinking coffee round the small round table. Rachel had spent most of the night waiting up for Eddie to return home with Alia staying up to keep her company, but the man hadn't returned by the time half past two had come around and Rachel had finally been forced to concede defeat, adding Eddie to the list of her failed relationships. She'd not been able to face her own bed, the bed she shared with Eddie, instead taking Alia up on the offer to share with her, not that either slept very well. They just needed a quiet day for their brokenhearted, sleep deprived brains.

Unfortunately, their quiet day would not last as the rest of the school started to filter in for the day and Alia had to get to form, leaving Rachel alone in her office, though not before offering her a smile and another few words of encouragement. Rachel couldn't help but smile at her daughter trying to be strong for the both of them as she got started on some of her paperwork, mentally organising her day so she could optimise the time she could spend with her child and what time they could leave at the earliest to go home and drop all pretence again.

Barely ten minutes had gone when Rachel heard a knock at the closed door of her office, calling out distractedly for them to enter as she signed her name to a piece of paperwork and set it in her out tray. Only then did she look up, the tiny smile she'd had fixed to her features sliding away in favour of a more guarded expression as she found her deputy head stood before her, looking decidedly worried and somewhat bashful. "What can I do for you?" She settled on a cool, though still professional, tone. As she'd discussed with Alia the night before, she didn't blame him for leaving. Everyone did eventually. Plus, she still had to work with him at the end of the day and she could still honestly say that he was the best deputy she'd ever had.

Eddie's brow furrowed at both her guardedness and her tone, not to mention the utter exhaustion that lined her features. "Rach, I think we need to talk."

"About what?" Rachel played dumb, glancing down at her next piece of paperwork. "Don't you have a class to teach in five minutes? I'm sure Alia has maths first thing."

"Rach." Eddie sighed in exasperation, even if he knew she was right. "Later then."

…

Eddie's frown only deepened as an exhausted looking Alia trudged into his class along with his other A-level students. She had the option of either staying in Rachel's office or going to class, choosing to go to her classes for the most part so she didn't miss out on too much. The girl didn't offer him a smile as she usually would, but she did pay attention to his lesson instead of staring at the tree out of the window like she did when there usually was something bothering her. However, she was definitely quieter than usual, more reserved and self-contained too. All in all, most definitely not herself, just like her mother. Both of them seemed guarded, which worried him immensely. He'd been beyond angry with Rachel the day before for putting herself in danger again, but a night at the local pub drowning his feelings followed by kipping on Steph's sofa when the blonde woman had found him at said pub and tried to convince him to go home had dimmed quite a bit of his anger with his girlfriend, enough to realise he'd probably hurt her by upping and disappearing the way he had. He'd been expecting hurt and anger and possibly something of an argument. What he hadn't expected was the almost cool indifference he'd gotten from her in the office that morning, nor the distant politeness of the sixteen year old who was far too much like her mum sometimes. He kept Alia back at the end of the lesson, the class not even bothering to jeer or react anymore as they all knew way too much of the personal lives of the staff members. What he wasn't prepared for was the almost identical expression the sixteen year old held to the one he'd seen on Rachel's face.

"Mr Lawson." Alia's voice was cool, giving nothing away. Eddie winced.

"Ali, c'mon. What's going on?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Alia's tired features didn't change as she glanced at the clock instead of at Eddie. "I have a class to get to."

He deftly stood in her way as she tried to move away, out of the classroom. "Alia. Talk to me."

"No thank you." She did manage to step round him that time. "Have a good day, Mr Lawson." She was gone by the time he realised that was the first time she'd addressed him by his last name in near on a year. Something was definitely wrong, and he had a sinking feeling they were not going to make any of this easy on him.

…

The rest of the day proved to be no easier on Eddie. He'd tried to talk to Rachel at break, only to find she'd taken the opportunity to go to the canteen for something to eat. A quick glance into the busy room had shown both Rachel and Alia picking at breakfast plates, Steph and Tom worriedly questioning the headmistress whilst Maxine, Chlo and Katie surrounded the dark haired sixth former in badly concealed concern. Eddie had had lessons up until lunch, when he'd gone again to find his wayward girlfriend and talk to her, find out what had prompted such a change in her in such a small amount of time. He'd found both her and Alia in her office, Alia eating at the round table with her headphones in and Rachel on a phone call with what sounded like social services, only just managing to take small bites of a sandwich periodically. She'd still not finished by the time Eddie had to rush to his final class of the day, but he hoped he could catch her afterwards if he timed it right. He still had no idea what was going on with either of them, but the longer things went on, the more unsettled and frantic he began to feel.

Eddie sped up his pace on his way through the corridor, the kids long gone for the day for the most part, spotting Rachel and Alia halfway up the main corridor ahead of him. Both seemed exhausted, Rachel carrying both her own and her daughter's belongings. "Rach, Ali!" He called out hopefully. Both of them stiffened, turning a few steps from the entrance to face him, incredibly guarded and cool with him. Whatever had happened, he had a feeling he had unknowingly screwed everything up.

"Eddie." Rachel's voice would've given nothing away if he didn't know her so well. Something had definitely upset her, rattled her.

He was about ten steps away from them when the doors to the school opened and a tall, dark haired man stepped inside, in dark jeans and a leather jacket. The man glanced round before his face lit up into a wide smile and he strode towards them. "Darling!" His arms wrapped round Rachel's waist, lifting her easily off the ground and spinning her round. Eddie watched in astonishment and barely restrained jealousy as Alia and Rachel both smiled, the happiest he'd seen them all day as the man finally set Rachel back on her feet with a laugh.

"Honey." Rachel fairly smirked at the man. "I thought you'd be here tomorrow."

"I got a couple days off earlier than expected." The man grinned easily before turning to Alia, who had been smiling widely the entire time. "Li!" He opened his arms, laughing again as the sixteen year old ran into them, hugging him tightly. "Your mum told me you'd been in the wars again, princess. Next time, give me fair warning so I can at least try and talk Rach into not hovering quite so much over you, eh?"

"I'll try." Alia pulled back, her face creasing worriedly. "I thought you'd be mad at me too."

"For what? Alia, I could never be mad at you. Your mum on the other hand, I could be mad at forever." The man winked at Rachel over Alia's head and Eddie felt the jealousy rise again as Rachel rolled her eyes good-naturedly, though she was still smiling. "I assume you mean Jack. And no, I'm on your side, princess. Completely. And I have your favourite chocolate in my car."

"You're the best!" Alia smiled widely again.

Rachel turned slightly, catching sight of Eddie stood awkwardly a few steps away, her mood instantly dropping, though she hoped her deputy hadn't picked up on it. "Oh, er, Eddie, this is Sam, Alia's godfather. You might've met him at the army day last year. Sam, this is Eddie Lawson." She paused awkwardly, not sure what to classify Eddie as anymore. She noted Alia's wary posture and knew her daughter felt just as confused as she was over it all. Thankfully, Sam seemed to sense the atmosphere and stepped forward with an outstretched hand and an easy smile.

"Hey, it's good to meet you. Rachel's told me a lot about you. Li too."

Eddie managed to muster up a smile as he shook Sam's hand. Of course, he'd seen the man in passing during the army day but he'd never actually met Sam before. To see the clearly handsome man with his playful, easy interactions with the woman he loved and the daughter he wanted to consider like his own had shaken him more than he wanted to admit. "Yeah, nice to meet you mate."

Sam nodded, his eyes flicking between Rachel and Eddie for a moment before turning back to his goddaughter. "C'mon princess, let's go get you that chocolate."

"No." Alia shook her head mutinously, her face betraying her worry as she stayed firmly at Rachel's side. "We can get the chocolate later."

"Alia." Sam took hold of her good arm. "I think we need to leave Rachel and Eddie to talk."

"And I'm not leaving them alone."

"Alia."

"Samuel."

Rachel broke in, resigned to playing peacemaker. "Sam, leave her alone; it's been a long couple of days. Are you staying over or going back to yours tonight?"

"I was going to beg to kip on your sofa, if that's alright with you Rach." Sam's brow furrowed but he allowed Rachel to set the tone, realisation kicking in that he might not be fully up to date on current events.

"That's fine, but you can use Jack's room instead of the living room. No point putting your back out for no reason."

"Rachel?" Eddie's voice was soft, but still caught the other three's attention immediately. "See you at home, yeah?" His heart sank at the surprise that flitted across the mother's and daughter's features before they could hide their reactions. He really had to figure out what had happened, and fast.

…

Rachel sighed silently as she pressed a kiss to her slumbering child's forehead and slipped out of the bed. She couldn't sleep, again, and though it was sweet her daughter wanted to be there for her, there was no way she was depriving the injured sixteen year old of the little sleep she was managing to get just because she couldn't sleep. The evening had been incredibly awkward all round, with Sam trying everything he could to give Rachel and Eddie a few moments alone and Alia staunchly scuppering all of his plans, even going as far as threatening to bite her godfather if he physically tried to make her leave the room. Rachel knew from the outside, it looked as though her usually sweet, understanding child had morphed into one hell of a brat practically overnight, but Alia was just doing her best to protect her, whether she needed it or not. She still hadn't been able to face Eddie, not really, so she'd slipped into her room whilst he was sat awkwardly in the living room with Alia and Sam and transferred her pyjamas and a change of clothes for the morning into Alia's room, where she eventually retired to along with the teenager, who had valiantly tried to stay up with her, but exhaustion had finally overcome the sixteen year old, falling asleep in her mum's arms.

Quietly padding down the stairs and pulling her dressing gown tighter around her to ward of the chill in the air, Rachel knew she couldn't keep hiding from everything. She couldn't keep avoiding her own room and bunking with Alia because she was scared being in her own room would make it all real. And she couldn't kick Eddie out, as he'd given up his own place to move in with them that summer and she just wasn't that cruel. She could always sleep in Jack or Michael's room, she supposed, or even up in Alia's music room. The latter was probably the only place she'd get sleep without memories or intrusive thoughts, so she'd have to talk to Alia about that in the morning. Without thinking, she'd managed to find her way in the dark to her kitchen, flipping on the light over the stove and moving to fill the kettle for a cup of tea. She didn't think she'd get much sleep anyway, but a warm cup of tea should help calm her at least.

"Rach."

Rachel jumped, spinning round to fix the owner of the voice with a glare as she pressed one hand to her chest, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. "Eddie!" She hissed, breathing deeply to try and calm herself down from the shock, as she'd not expected company on her late night journey to the kitchen. "Damnit, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." Eddie did seem genuinely contrite. "Any chance of a cup of tea whilst the kettle's on?"

Rachel nodded shortly, reaching out for another cup and automatically selecting the one Eddie usually used in the mornings to place next to hers, a chipped mug proclaiming her to be the world's best mummy, a Mother's Day gift when Alia had been about three or four. Quickly, she made up the two cups, pouring in the hot water and adding milk before sliding Eddie's reluctantly across the counter towards him and wrapping her hands round her own. She stared out of the kitchen window, the surprisingly full moon adding an ethereal glow to all the light touched in her garden. Almost magical. She felt more than heard Eddie approach her, bracing herself for the confrontation she'd desperately been hoping to put off. She should've just stayed hiding in Alia's room for the night. "What?"

"Rach, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean everything! You damn near scared the life out of me yesterday, and today both you and Ali are acting downright odd! You're upset about something and Alia's never more than a step away from you. I half thought she was going to rip my arm off earlier for reaching for the tv remote. I'm honestly surprised she's not here right now."

"She's sleeping." Rachel settled on the easiest answer, still staring out at the moonlit garden. "I wasn't waking her when she's finally getting some proper rest. No doubt I'll pay for it in the morning, but she needs her sleep more."

"Rach." She fought to hide the flinch as he placed a hand on her forearm, knowing she'd failed when his whole body stiffened in response. "Rach, talk to me, please. You're scaring me."

Sighing, she turned to face him, placing her mug down on the counter carefully. The last thing she needed was to accidentally scald herself. "Talk to you about what, Eddie? I'm not going to try and change your mind, or make this more difficult for you. Alia won't either. Despite how she's appeared tonight."

His brow furrowed in response to her downtrodden, defeated words. "Rach, what the hell are you talking about? Change my mind about what?"

"Eddie, I've never been the kind of person to beg a man to stay with me and I'm not starting now." Rachel pulled her arm out from his grip, moving further away from him instinctively. "I'll be fine; I've got Ali to focus on as well."

"Rachel… are you breaking up with me?" His blood ran cold.

"No. How could I, when you've already done so? I'm just trying to make it easier for you. I don't blame you." She snorted bitterly, trying to mask the tears in her eyes by blinking them away. "God knows you were going to realise the mess you'd gotten yourself involved in at some point."

"Rach… Rach, I'm not breaking up with you." Eddie tried desperately. He didn't know how his girlfriend had got such an idea into her head, but it was obvious it must've been playing on both Rachel and Alia's minds all day. "Give me a little credit."

"'I can't do this'." Rachel quoted sadly, eyes narrowed at him for the shortness of his tone with her. "That's what you said, and then you left. Took your car and left. No call or text to tell me you weren't lying in a ditch somewhere. We waited up for you, until we finally had to accept you weren't coming home, Eddie. Tell me how else I'm supposed to interpret that."

"Oh god." Eddie wanted to whack his head off the nearest flat surface. He hadn't even realised what he'd said, let alone that he'd said the one phrase that had prompted near hysterics in Alia less than two weeks earlier and Rachel had already explained they both hated as it always heralded the end of another relationship. And on top of that, he'd left without so much as another word. No wonder they both seemed confused that he was still there, still around. They'd both gotten it into their heads that he'd had enough and decided to get out. "Rachel… Rach…" He sighed, wrapping his hands round his rapidly cooling mug. "I was angry, yes, but I never meant to make you think… I went to the pub, got drunk. Steph let me kip on the couch after yelling at me for being mean to you. I thought I'd give us both time to cool off, not make you think I was breaking up with you. I promised you and Alia forever, and I meant it Rachel. I still do mean it."

"Eddie…" Rachel's eyes searched his, for what, neither was entirely sure of. "Eddie, I can't promise you anything." Her face was still pinched with sorrow and worry. "I can't promise you I won't run after the next child that needs help, that I won't rush in without thinking of the consequences. I always knew you'd see sense eventually, realise just how crazy I am for doing it time and time again. This is not the first school I've done this kind of thing at, just the most extreme. And I have a stubborn, headstrong daughter with the same bloody reckless streak. How could I possibly blame you for walking away?"

"Rachel, listen to me. I am not walking away. I'm not breaking up with you." Eddie placed his hands cautiously on Rachel's shoulders, one hand slowly moving to cup her cheek when she didn't flinch at his touch. "I had a lot of time to think last night, and you were right. I knew exactly who you were when I fell in love with you. And I still love you, despite the moments I'd dearly like to strangle you for putting everyone before yourself. I even love that incredibly infuriating sixteen year old of yours, even if she's in an odd mood of threatening to bite people."

"What are you saying?" Rachel's voice was barely above a whisper, hardly daring to believe the man before her. She'd been let down too many times before.

"Oh Rach. I'm saying, I love you. And despite this… blip… and the many arguments I'm sure we'll have in the future; I want a future. With you. And your daughter. And my son. Together." Eddie pressed his forehead gently against hers. "I promise not to walk off without at least a text in future, though I can't promise I won't need to go calm down at any point."

"And you'll always come home?"

"Yes, I will always come home."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

TBC…