Chapter 38: Science Nerds

Maura: June, Present Day

Maura's knuckles were turning white as a result of how hard she was gripping the steering wheel. She had been glancing at Emma and Finn in the backseat through the rearview mirror at every stop sign or light. The tension in the car was palpable and the silence was deafening.

Maura looked in the rearview mirror again as she pulled into the line to enter the garage. None of them had said a single word since they had pulled out of the driveway. Every time she thought about trying to start a conversation, her words got caught in her throat, and she forgot whatever she had thought about asking.

Emma was watching out the window as they drove. She looked more bored than anxious. On the other hand, Finn was sitting in her booster seat with her arms crossed in front of her. She had been excited about the idea of visiting the museum throughout the week, but this morning, she had changed her mind. She had tried to convince Jane to let her stay home with her instead of going to the museum with Maura and Emma. Maura wasn't sure what Jane said to Finn to convince her to get in the car. By the time it was time to leave, Finn didn't fight against going, but she also looked highly uncomfortable as she rode in the backseat. Her facial expression telegraphed that she was somewhere between highly annoyed and very anxious.

Maura silently sighed to herself as she pulled up to the gate and took her ticket before entering the parking garage. She wanted more than anything to connect with her daughters, but she wasn't sure if this was the best way to do it. She was worried that they were forcing Emma and Finn to spend time alone with Maura too soon, and that this whole day was going to backfire.

The girls remained silent as they entered the museum. Once they were through the ticketing area, Maura paused to look at a map. "What are your favorite exhibits?" she asked the girls, who were standing in front of her nervously shifting on their feet as they looked around.

"I like the human body exhibit," Finn said flatly without looking at Maura.

"My favorite's the outer space one," Emma said with a little more enthusiasm than her sister. "Oh, and the dinosaurs…and…and…and the math part." Emma's voice rose as her excitement grew. By the time she finished listing her favorite exhibits, she was smiling and bouncing slightly on her toes.

Maura chuckled lightly at Emma's obvious excitement. "Okay, well, do you guys want to start on the top floor and work our way down?" she asked, glancing at the map and noticing that Finn's favorite exhibit was on the top floor (Emma appeared to have favorites on every floor).

"We always start at the bottom and go up," Finn said. Her voice still lacked emotion, but she finally looked at Maura.

"O-okay," Maura said. Then offering the girls a weak smile, she added, "We can start at the bottom."

"This way!" Emma said as she led them to the stairs.

They started with the Natural Mysteries exhibit. Maura watched as the girls pulled open the various drawers in the center of the exhibit before they went to look at some of the rocks and shells displayed around the outside. Maura listened quietly as they talked to each other, often pointing out cool things they found. They were mostly ignoring Maura, but at least they both seemed more comfortable as they explored the exhibit. Finn even started to smile and laugh with her sister.

The morning continued in pretty much the same way as they checked out the other exhibits on the Lower Level. Maura let the girls take the lead as they visited Catching the Wind, A Bird's World, Take a Closer Look, the dinosaurs and triceratops cliff, as well as the transportation and nanotechnology exhibits. Maura noticed that they seemed to be leaving Emma's two favorite exhibits for last.

Maura smiled at the bounce in Emma's steps as they entered the To the Moon exhibit. They immediately went inside the full-sized Apollo Command Module. Maura stood just outside the capsule to give them space to explore, but Emma stuck her head out the opening that acted as a door and asked, "Aren't you coming in, mommy?"

Maura tried to tamper the giant smile that threatened to crack her face in half. She wanted the girls to know how much she was enjoying spending time with them, but she didn't want to scare them or embarrass herself by letting them know just how excited she was that they asked her to do something.

When Maura stepped inside, Emma said, "Did you know that three people had to stay in this teeny tiny space for days?!" Emma's voice was full of awe and disbelief, and it made Maura smile.

Before Maura could answer, though, Finn turned and said, "Mama let us watch Apollo 13. It's rated PG-13!" She said this in a way that made it sound like she thought they had gotten away with something naughty.

"She said it was okay because it was telling a real story that is really important," Emma added.

"And she told us that it had a happy ending before we watched it so that we wouldn't be scared," Finn said.

"That was nice of her," Maura replied. "Did you like the movie?"

"Yeah," Finn said, but Emma replied, "It's my favorite! I love space stuff."

"Oh, we should let them in," Finn said as another family walked up to the module.

"Good idea," Maura said as she followed the girls out. She felt as though that simple conversation had started to repair some of the broken pieces of her heart. It was the first normal conversation she and Finn had had since Finn yelled at her the previous weekend.

They spent a lot of time in the space exhibit before they moved to Emma's other favorite exhibit, Math Moves! Unlike in the previous exhibits, Emma and Finn would occasionally point out something they liked to Maura. Sure, it was primarily Emma that would talk to Maura, but Finn would say something every once in a while.

As they walked up the stairs to Level 1, Emma said, "I'm hungry. Can we get lunch?"

Maura looked at her watch and was surprised to discover that they had already been at the museum for nearly two hours. "Sure," Maura said. "We can walk to a nearby restaurant, then come back to finish the museum."

"Or we could just eat at the restaurant here," Emma suggested.

"Is that what you guys would like to do?" Maura asked. In all honesty, despite the number of times she had been to this museum, she had never eaten at their café, and she didn't really want to start. She definitely wasn't a fan of food courts, which is essentially what the Riverview Café was. But if the girls wanted to eat here, she would happily do that. In fact, she would eat pretty much anything if that's what they wanted.

"Yeah, we like it," Finn replied.

"Is that okay?" Emma asked, her eyebrows scrunched in uncertainty.

"Of course," Maura said quickly.

It took a while to get through the lines at the various stations in the café to get everything they each wanted, but the girls were patient as they waited. Maura let them pick whatever they wanted as she tried to internally ignore the fact that they both ate like Jane. Luckily, despite how Jane preferred to eat, she seemed to feed the kids healthy food, so one day of junk food wouldn't matter. Maura carried the tray with all their food into the seating area and looked around.

"There are seats by the window," Emma said, pointing to three open seats that faced the window, overlooking the Charles River. It was a beautiful day, and they had an amazing view of the Boston skyline. It was hard to talk given the loud background noise in the restaurant and the fact that they were sitting in a line as opposed to across from each other at a table, but that didn't stop Emma from trying.

"What's your favorite exhibit, mommy?" Emma asked. She was sitting between Maura and Finn, and Maura could tell that Emma was not only trying to bridge the physical space between Maura and Finn, but she was trying to bridge the emotional space as well. Emma reminded Maura so much of Jane in this way. She wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy. She wanted to take care of the people she loved.

"Of the exhibits we've visited so far, I think my favorite has been Math Moves!" Maura said. "But I'm really looking forward to the Hall of Human Life. I've always been fascinated with the human body."

"That's why you're a doctor, right?" Emma asked as she took a big bite of her cheeseburger.

"Yes, exactly," Maura replied with a smile.

"I think it would be cool to be a doctor, but I think I wanna be a teacher when I grow up," Emma said.

"That's a wonderful career choice," Maura replied.

"Finn wants to be a vet," Emma added.

"That is a great choice as well," Maura added as she glanced over at Finn. Finn offered her a shy smile, which Maura returned, but the little girl otherwise remained silent as she ate her chicken fingers.

Emma continued switching back and forth between talking to Maura and Finn as they finished their lunches. Maura really enjoyed listening to the two of them talk to each other. They got along so well, and it was obvious how much they took care of each other. They quickly finished eating, making sure to clean their space before leaving.

"Where do you want to go next?" Maura asked as they left the café.

"Can we go to the gift shop?" Emma asked, and Maura smiled, remembering how Jane said they both liked to shop.

"We can definitely go to the gift shop before we leave today, but why don't we do that last. That way, we don't have to carry whatever we buy around the museum," Maura suggested.

"Can we get a treat?" Finn asked excitedly.

"I think that is a distinct possibility," Maura said, giving the girls a smile that said, yes, I will definitely get you both a treat.

Finn smiled at Maura, and it was probably the first genuine smile that the little girl had given her. Maura felt warmth flood her body as her daughter's smile melted her heart.

"Let's see the T-rex next!" Emma said excitedly, pulling Maura from her thoughts.

"Lead the way," Maura suggested, her smile growing wider as she realized how much more comfortable she was feeling with the girls now compared to this morning. Maybe, Jane had been right.

They continued exploring the museum. Maura was amazed at how smart both Emma and Finn were as they too became more comfortable with Maura and shared more of their knowledge about the different exhibits. They spent another two hours going through every exhibit on Level 1 and Level 2. The only exhibit they had left was the Hall of Human Life, which Finn had said was her favorite exhibit when they first arrived at the museum.

"We have to get wristbands," Emma explained as she led Maura over to an open kiosk. She pulled out three wristbands, handing one to Maura and one to Finn before putting her own on. Finn and Emma both got their wristbands on quickly since they had done this many times. Maura was struggling slightly.

"I can help," Finn said quietly, and Maura could hear the nerves in her voice.

Maura smiled at Finn and held out the wristband, which Finn quickly affixed to her wrist. They had fun exploring the different "environments," as they were called. The girls seemed to enjoy walking Maura through how to engage with the different link stations. Link stations allowed visitors to interact with the various exhibits by scanning their wristbands and entering their own information. Maura was already feeling like today was a huge success, but it was when they got to the Biogen Foundation Exploration Hub that she knew it would be one of her favorite days of her life.

The Exploration Hub included demonstrations by museum staff and volunteers, rotating between six interactive demonstrations. Today's demonstration was the 'Mystery Skeleton.'

They were standing in front of the 'Mystery Skeleton' activity. The task was to put together a mystery animal skeleton using a human skeleton as a model. Finn was looking back and forth between the skeletons and Maura, and Maura was slightly nervous about what the little girl might be thinking. She didn't have to wait long to find out though.

"You cut people open, right?" Finn asked, and Maura's eyes went wide at the question. "Mama says you're a doctor that helps dead people by looking inside their bodies. You have to cut them open to see inside, right?"

"Um," Maura stuttered. "Well, I'm a medical examiner, sometimes called a forensic pathologist. Mama told you that I cut people open?" she asked, confused about Jane's supposed choice of words.

"No, she said you look inside people's bodies," Finn said. "But I googled dead people doctor."

"Oh, okay, well, yes, autopsies do include a thorough physical examination of the body. In order to do that, I do have to cut into the body, but it's a standard surgical process. I follow a specific set of procedures. I don't just cut anywhere." Maura was nervous about this conversation. She wasn't really sure how much information was appropriate for a six-year-old, but Finn didn't seem phased by what Maura was telling her.

"And you learn lots of things about people's insides, right?" Finn asked.

"Yes," Maura replied.

"So can you put together a skeleton?" Finn asked, pointing to the skeletons behind her.

"Oh, yes, I have a detailed knowledge of the skeletal system," Maura said matter-of-factly.

"Fast?" Emma asked with a twinkle in her eye.

Maura laughed nervously. "Well, yes, I would think that I could do it faster than the average person," she said, slightly hedging her statement.

"Will you show us?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, do it as fast as you can!" Emma said excitedly.

Maura bit her bottom lip as she considered Emma and Finn's request. There was no way that she was going to say no, but she had to admit that the idea of doing this in front of so many people made her nervous. She also didn't want to disappoint the girls. Sure, she was fairly certain that she could do this quickly, but what if she messed up? What would they think of her?

"Okay, I'll try," she said, offering them a smile. Maura stepped up to the display and got ready to start.

"Wait! Wait!" Emma said quickly, causing Maura to turn and look at her. "Can I use your phone to time you?"

"Sure," Maura replied as she pulled out her phone and handed it to Emma.

"I'm gonna count down," Finn said. "Start on 'go.' Okay, three, two, one, GO!"

Maura quickly started putting together the skeleton. She knew the skeletal system so well that she didn't even have to glance at the model as she fell into the zone just as she did during an autopsy. It wasn't until she was done that she realized that both girls were excitedly cheering for her.

"Do you know what kind of animal it is?" Finn asked excitedly.

Maura glanced at the volunteer. "I believe it is a bonobo," she said.

"That is correct!" the volunteer said with a smile.

"Oh my god, you're so smart!" Emma said reverently as they stepped away so that the next group of visitors could try. "Mama was right. You're like the smartest person ever!"

Maura blushed profusely and smiled. "I'm not the smartest person ever," she said, "but I do have an IQ well above average, likely in the top .2% of the population."

"Wow!" Finn whispered as she stared at Maura.

All of the attention was making Maura nervous, so she tried to redirect the conversation back to the girls. "You both likely have very high IQs as well."

"How do you know?" Emma asked.

"Well, your language skills are clearly well above your age group, you're reading books targeted at higher grade levels, and…" Maura started.

"No, I mean, how do you know what your IQ is? Like, what's mine?" Emma said.

"Oh, there are standardized tests that measure IQ, but there is some debate among the scientific community about the validity of these tests. Despite the fact that many TV shows feature characters giving a specific number for their IQ, it's actually very difficult to determine your exact IQ."

"Oh, okay, um, can we go to the gift shop now?" Emma asked.

Maura laughed. "Sure," she replied, and she followed the girls out of the Hall of Human Life and back down to Level 1 where the gift shop was located.

"Mommy, look at these!" Emma said as she led Maura and Finn over to the space section. "Can we get a treat?" she asked, flashing Maura a smile that instantly melted Maura.

"Yes, you can each pick something out," Maura replied.

"Can we get something for Harper and Sophie, too?" Finn asked.

"I think that's a wonderful idea!" Maura said.

Emma quickly picked a model space shuttle, but Finn took a lot longer to decide. They went through the various sections of the store a few times before she finally settled on a model of the human body with removable organs, bones, and muscles. They picked out stuffed microbes for Harper and Sophie. Maura wasn't really sure why they picked those, but she let them get whatever they wanted for their sisters.

Finn paused, staring at the far wall where the bookshelves were located.

"Do you want to go look at the books again, sweetie?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, can we?" Finn replied, looking at Maura.

"Of course."

They went over to the books, and Finn and Emma both pulled a few down to look at.

"I'm gonna save my money to get this one next time," Emma said as she showed Maura a kids' encyclopedia of outer space.

"I might get a book instead," Finn told Emma, "but I don't know which one."

Maura lowered herself to their level to look at the books with them. She couldn't help herself. She loved how much they loved learning. "Well, I think maybe you guys can each get your own treats, and those can be just yours. Then, we can pick out a few books that will be the whole family's. How does that sound?" Maura suggested.

"Really?" Finn asked excitedly.

"How many?" Emma asked.

Maura laughed. "Why don't you show me some of the books you guys want? I do think we should get these two," she said, picking up the outer space encyclopedia that Emma was holding and a similar encyclopedia of the human body that was one of the books Finn had been looking at. "But you guys have to agree on them, okay?"

"'Kay!" they said in unison.

It warmed Maura's heart to listen to them go through the books. Not only did they ask each other what they liked, but they thought about what Harper and Sophie might like as well. They ended up buying more books than they probably should have, but it was hard for Maura to say no. Yes, part of it was about making them happy, but part of it was also in response to how thoughtful they were about what other family members would like. They paid for the toys and books. Emma and Finn carried their toys and their sisters' toys while Maura carried the books. She felt a little reminiscent of her own childhood when she purchased too many books every time she went to a bookstore.

When they got to the car, Maura text Jane to let her know that they were leaving the museum. The ride home was the complete opposite of the ride to the museum. Both girls were talking excitedly about their day, and Maura couldn't stop smiling in the front seat.

When they got home, Emma and Finn ran into the house ahead of Maura. As she was entering, Maura heard one of the girls excitedly telling Jane, "Mama, you were right. Mommy is sooooo smart! She put together the mystery skeleton in 32 seconds!"

Maura walked into the kitchen just as Emma and Finn turned their attention to Harper and Sophie to give the girls their gifts. Maura's eyes locked on Jane's as they shared bright smiles. Maura stepped into Jane's space and whispered, "Thank you," against Jane's lips before capturing them in a loving kiss.

Jane: June, Present Day

"I take it you guys had fun," Jane said, and she couldn't stop the huge smile that took over her face.

"It was wonderful," Maura said quietly. "They're amazing. I mean, I already knew they were, but today…today was more than I ever could have hoped for."

"I'm glad. You guys were gone a lot longer than I expected."

"I'm sorry," Maura started, but Jane shook her head.

"No, it's a good thing," Jane quickly cut her off.

"Did you guys have fun, today?" Maura asked.

Jane smiled before her face dropped. "Yes, but uh…don't hate me…I didn't realize that food coloring would stain blonde hair," she said as quickly as possible as though that might soften the blow.

Maura tilted her head in confusion. "Do I even want to know how baking cookies led to stained hair?" she asked.

"Well, they covered each other in frosting," Jane explained as she tried to read Maura's reaction. "And they were having so much fun that I let them do it. I wouldn't have if I'd known, but I didn't realize…" Jane trailed off.

Maura laughed. "Jane, are you afraid that I'm going to be upset?" she asked.

"Well, yeah, I guess," Jane said with a shrug.

"Was Sophie upset?"

"No, she thinks it's kinda cool," Jane admitted, which was true. When the little girl saw the purple in her hair after her nap, she was actually quite excited. "She said purple is her favorite color."

Maura leaned in to give Jane a soft kiss. "It'll either wash out or grow out eventually. It's just hair, Jane. All I care about is that they had fun today," she said genuinely. "I am also kind of hoping that you got pictures of this frosting fight."

Jane laughed. "Yes, pictures and a video. They had a blast. Only about half of the cookies got decorated, though, because they used the rest on each other," she explained.

"Can we have some cookies, mama?" Emma asked. The four girls had been going through the purchases from the gift shop while Jane and Maura talked, but they hadn't forgotten about the cookies.

"After dinner," Jane said. "Speaking of, dinner is ready," she added. "Can you guys bring the toys and books up to your bedrooms?"

Harper and Sophie had already helped Jane set the table, so they were able to sit down and eat as soon as the kids returned from upstairs and washed their hands.

The happiness from the day remained throughout dinner and the evening. Once the kids were in bed and everything downstairs was closed up, Maura and Jane climbed into bed to talk and enjoy each other's company.

Maura cuddled into Jane, easily finding her favorite position with her head resting on Jane's chest.

"I'm so glad that you guys had fun today," Jane said as she ran her fingers through Maura's hair.

"We really did," Maura replied. "I was really nervous at first. They were too, but as we went through the exhibits, they started to tell me more about what they liked or thought was cool. It was perfect. I will remember today for the rest of my life."

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head. "I'm guessing they will, too," she said.

"Thank you for suggesting that we do this," Maura said. "I know we still have a long way to go, but I feel like we made so much progress today. We had real conversations. I felt like I was actually getting to know them."

"I think we should try to do something at least monthly where one of us goes out with two of the kids and the other stays home with the other two. We could figure out some kind of rotation system."

"I think that's a wonderful idea," Maura agreed. "I'm also glad that you did something special with Harper and Sophie at home. Oh, can I see the pictures and video from today?" she said suddenly as she sat up.

Jane chuckled. "Sure," she said as she leaned over to grab her phone, handing it to Maura.

"Oh my god, what a mess!" Maura said with a laugh when she saw the disaster of a kitchen. "Oh, they are so cute," she continued to coo as she went through the pictures backwards. She got choked up when she played the video of Harper and Sophie playing with the frosting and sprinkles. The girls were so genuinely happy, and that was all Maura had ever wanted. She had seen Sophie happy, but she had never seen Sophie this happy.

They continued talking about their days sharing silly stories of the kids, which led to funny memories. So then, they'd move on to share fun memories of the kids from the time they were apart. They were both tired from the energy of the day, so it didn't take long for their conversations to slow down. They shared a soft kiss and whispered, "I love yous," before they fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

A/N: Fun fact, I accidentally stained my blonde hair with food coloring once as a kid. It does come out eventually, but it took a while!