lajsus

by pots782

bomauis

38. kk

"Alex, come on! You can finish it when you get back! You said we could go to lunch."

"And we can, Kara. Just give me a minute."

"You said that fifteen minutes ago."

"I can say 'give me a minute' fifteen times if you're that offended by it," Alex says with a smirk. Kara groans with frustration from behind her, looking over Alex's shoulder at her computer.

Alex is working on her latest article for the National City Times. She has been working at the newspaper for just over five years now. She worked her way through some internships and some freelance journalism jobs until she hooked this job. She worked hard. Every day, rarely taking a day off for herself. In only five years she had worked her way up through the newspaper to the point where she now has her own column every fortnight, Aliens of National City.

Every two weeks, Alex works on an article about new alien occurrences in the city or profile pieces on certain species, really anything alien-related that she's interested in. She doesn't spend too much time in the office, going out and finding the stories. She interviews people and really tries to get the truth about this population that is still mostly a mystery throughout the country. Aliens have been part of the public consciousness for a long time but only became visible within the last decade. They started to stop hiding and Earth became more popular in the universe for wayward travellers. It's been a taboo topic during these years. If you bring light to it, people have to accept that they aren't alone in the world and then they want to know as much about it as possible, which is where Alex comes in.

It's a very column, highly anticipated and respected. Kara is really proud of her and Alex loves the work. She's good at it. It keeps her busy.

"Alex," Kara groans, drawing out the 'x'.

"Okay, okay. Let me finish this sentence."

Alex finishes typing her paragraph and Kara drags her down the street to Noonan's, their go-to lunch spot.

They've been having lunch together almost every day of the week since Kara moved to National City. When Kara finished college, she came to the city and joined Alex, sharing an apartment together. Alex had already been working at the National City Times for a year, still working her way up. Kara got a job as an assistant to the executive of the National City local news programme, The National City News, wanting to eventually become a presenter.

This is where she met James who does freelance photography work with them, he also works with Alex sometimes. Winn works with Alex as well. Kara met him when she was waiting at Alex's desk for her to show up so they could go out grocery shopping together and once she starts talking to someone, it's hard to get her to stop. But somehow Alex ended up with this group of friends that Kara made. In all honesty, she doesn't really know whether they would care if she showed up to their get togethers or not.

Last year, Kara got promoted so she's part of the communications department and working in their social media team. Since then, Kara has been able to afford her own apartment and moved out of the apartment she shared with Alex. The insistence on these lunches is Kara's way of making up for how much she misses her after being used to seeing her every single day.

Kara is an interesting sister, to say the least. Let's just say, Alex isn't exactly new to the concept of aliens. She's so familiar, in fact, that she's sisters with one. Kara had come to live with Alex and her parents when she landed on Earth. Alex had only been fourteen years old and she had a new twelve-year-old sister, who's an alien. It wasn't the easiest thing to go through, but it gave Alex her sister. Kara doesn't use her powers very often these days, just to heat up leftovers or avoid long car rides.

"So," Kara says, "what are you going to order?"

"Probably just a burger. You?"

"The same."

"And?"

"Hey! I can have just one thing."

"But you won't," Alex says matter-of-factly.

"How about we get a side of fries to share?"

"Sure, let's share it," Alex says knowing full well that she'll never get the chance to have even one before Kara inhales them all.

Kara gives their order to the waitress when she comes over and continues to tell Alex about her day.

"So, what were you writing that you couldn't manage to pull yourself away from?"

"My next article for Thursday."

"What's it about?"

"Aliens as part of the workforce, focusing on underground labour streams."

"Didn't you say that Maggie did a story on that a few months ago?"

"Not like I am."

Maggie Sawyer. Alex's competition. When Alex started her column on aliens two years ago, she was the only one that wrote about them. If you wrote about them, you acknowledge they exist. If you're honest about them they can't just be the presumed evil that people think they are. And Alex wanted to be honest. If Kara had to continue to live in secret, along with so many other harmless or good-intentioned aliens, then Alex saw it as in her interest to make that life easier to live for them. Sure, there are the ones that intend to hurt people and incite fear, but a whole population shouldn't be punished for that.

She tried to convince her boss for weeks to let her write about aliens, in a positive and truthful light rather than the inundation of negative and harmful media put out about them. Eventually, her boss conceded, and her articles got noticed. People want to learn about the unknown and can be surprisingly open to a new perspective. Soon her articles became a column and she was getting recognition.

Then Maggie Sawyer came along and Alex wasn't the only one writing about aliens. She started writing her own articles at a competing newspaper and they were good. Not as good as Alex's but they started getting noticed too. Alex wasn't the go-to journalist about aliens anymore and that didn't sit right with her. She had worked so hard to be able to write about this, something she was personally invested in, and she wasn't about to sit back and be overshadowed. A fact she isn't afraid to voice.

The rivalry they have against each other is well known in the journalism community, still the only two consistent newspapers and journalists reporting on aliens.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to compare yourself to her every time? You're writing styles are pretty different."

"I need to know what's she's writing and what she's saying. What she tells people is what they're going to believe and I'm the one that they compare that information with to see if it's true. I'm trying to stay on top, I've worked hard for this, Kara. Plus, I've done some of my best writing while up against her. In order to continue to do that I need to know what she's writing. If I get to one-up her in the process, that's just a bonus."

"I still think this is consuming you."

"It's not."

"Alex, it's been two years since all that went down. It might be time to let it go."

"She knew what she was doing when she started writing those articles. She was directly challenging me."

"I meant… what happened between you two before she started writing about aliens."

"Kara, we're not talking about that. It's done."

"Well obviously it's not, Alex. I can see all of this holding you back-"

"That's not true. I've done some of my best journalism in the last two years."

"I didn't just mean in your writing."

Alex sighs.

"Look, Kara," Alex leans across the table, placing her hand on Kara's. "I know you're trying to help and I know you're worried but you don't need to be. I'm okay."

"I don't want you to be just okay. I want you to be happy."

Alex breaks the eye contact they've been sharing, looking down at the table. Alex was always the one to look after Kara, ever since they were kids. She was responsible for her, making sure she could fit in as a human and didn't draw attention to herself. She was basically Kara's single support system with how busy her parents were.

Alex was always focused on Kara's happiness that she never even considered her own. Neither did Kara. It wasn't their relationship. It wasn't until Alex came out to herself and Kara that she realised just how consumed she'd been in protecting and seeking Kara's happiness and become disconnected from herself in the process.

Since then they've worked on their relationship and Kara has been better at thinking about Alex and being a better sister.

"I'm trying to be," Alex says softly.

"And I'm proud that you're trying. But maybe it's time to try another way. You don't have to stop being passionate about your writing, and I wouldn't want you to be. But maybe you need to look at other ways to find that happiness. Hang out with me more, with James and Winn and everybody. Get a hobby," Kara holds up a finger to Alex before she can interrupt, "that isn't exercising. Date. It's been a while since you've been on a date. It might be worth a try."

"Yeah, maybe."

The next day Alex goes out to the scene of a new police report that an alien object has been found. Alex tries to explore as many leads as she can get regarding alien activity in case it leads to a story. When writing about aliens became a regular thing, Alex made sure to find some contacts and connections in the National City Police Department to get a look into as many stories as she could and hopefully get an insight on the ones that are trying to be kept confidential.

A call from her informant this morning leads her to a national park on the outside of the city. All her contact told her that some kind of object of alien origin was found, which really could mean just about anything. it could be a weapon or an ancient artefact or a teleportation device; she has no way of knowing.

When she gets to the site there are security guards around the section of the park where it must have been found. Alex tries to talk to a few of the detectives and officers, but she can't get a lot, or really any, information out of them, only getting told numerous times that there would be a press release later that day. The information you usually get from them is only the stuff they want you to know, which is not enough for Alex.

She manages to interview some of the witnesses but doesn't get much information apart from it being a small box made of something resembling metal, black all over with a pink glowing design on each side. She writes it all down hoping she might be able to find something similar in the records and archives of information she has back at the office.

Alex is looking out into the park again, watching the officers looking through the surrounds of bushes and trees to see if she can spot anything unusual or important when she hears a voice from behind her.

"Fancy seeing you here, Danvers."

Alex doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is, she'd recognise that voice anywhere.

"Sawyer," is all she says as Maggie comes up to stand next to her, leaning her arms on the dividing gate around the scene.

"So, what's the story here?"

"Isn't kind of your job to figure that out for yourself? Or are you getting a bit slack?"

"You know I'm not judging by my readership numbers. I know you check them."

"Well, then you'd know that The National City Times are getting the most sales of any newspaper in the state, including yours."

"That may be true, but my newspaper gets the most online hits, especially my articles. Welcome to the digital age, Danvers."

Alex scoffs in annoyance even though she knows it's true. Both her newspaper and herself aren't great in the online sphere which is a real downfall in the paperless age.

Alex can't stand the smugness that's radiating off Maggie.

"What are you even doing here, Sawyer? Come to get on my nerves."

"You don't own the crime scene just so you know. Running into you has just been an added bonus."

"I'm sure it has," Alex groans, waiting for Maggie and that annoying, cocky dimpled smile to leave with her.

"I'm going to go look around a bit. See you around, Danvers," Maggie says standing up straight again and turning to leave and probably get the same minimal information Alex had just got.

Alex watches her walk away, her eyes drifting up and down her frame before she rolls her eyes, turning back to watch the officials work the crime scene again.

On Wednesday morning a week later, Alex's editor, J'onn J'onzz, calls her into his office. Alex knows she's been doing a good job so she's not overly worried. There can't be less of a need for journalism on aliens surely. Even though that box in the park didn't lead to anything (yet, anyway), there are plenty of stories and leads she could follow.

Alex knocks on the door before entering J'onn's office.

"Come in, Alex."

Alex enters and sits in one of the chairs facing J'onn's desk. His office is simple, with stock photos hung up on the walls and a sparse desk with only one photo of his wife and two children. Alex and him have been working together for years, she was here when he lost his family and knows how hard that was for him even though he didn't show it.

"Hey J'onn, how are you?"

"I'm good, thank you Alex. How are you?"

"Fine. Curious about why you needed to see me, but fine," Alex says with a smile.

"Well, it's good news. I really hope you'll embrace it."

Alex is now more confused, but he said it was good news and Alex has no reason to not believe him.

"I've been talking to the board about the popularity of your column and the revenue and regard that it's bringing the newspaper. The work you've been doing has been incredible and really influential and we decided that we want to capitalize on that. We want to expand your column, make it weekly rather than fortnightly and really make it a showcase of the newspaper."

Alex can tell that J'onn is nothing but proud of her and she is so grateful that her hard work is being recognized. This promotion is amazing, it makes her feel like she's doing something right. The confirmation is nice and not something she often gets. Journalism is a business of critique, as all media should be, but it's still nice to have her work be valued. She's not really used to that kind of attention. Plus, it gives her some job security which is always nice

"Wow, that's amazing J'onn. Thank you. That's a high compliment."

"Your work has been great these last few years, it's long overdue. Now, expanding it to weekly is going to double the work so we've hired someone to work with you. They'll alternate weeks with you so you'll still be doing the same amount of work but get to work together and cover more stories than you can now. It also comes with a pay rise and a shared office."

A pay rise and an office. Now that's what she likes to hear.

"That's great, J'onn. Wow, thank you," Alex says with a smile. "Who is this person? Would I be their superior? Do I get a say in who's hired?"

Alex is more the type who prefers to work alone so this aspect is a little more concerning.

"In my conversation with the board, we agreed that we want it to be more of a collaboration. Turns out they already had someone in mind and, well, we got in contact with them and then interviewed them and they accepted our feature writer job offer."

"Okay, well who is it?" Alex asks, a bit sceptical about J'onn's hesitance.

"It's Maggie Sawyer."

Alex's jaw drops and she raises her eyebrows. Of all the journalists in the world. Is he serious?

"Alex, I know you have a history with her, but she really is the best person for the job. She's really the only other one in the field and her articles are almost as read as yours are. However, her articles get more online hits and that's where we're lacking in this newspaper and something that the board really want to focus on going into the new financial year. She's the woman for the job, there's no one better. Except for you of course. Plus, getting her here eliminates the only other popular competition that you and this paper have which is great for everyone. This is a good thing, Alex."

"With all due respect, this is not a good idea. She- I- We don't get along. We're not compatible. We can't even have a conversation without some kind of insult thrown in. This isn't going to work. J'onn, I cannot work with her."

Alex's voice is starting to rise with frustration. She doesn't want to work with Maggie. She can't. Having to spend time together and collaborate in a department that is just them could in no way end well. She doesn't want to put herself in a position where she has to see Maggie every day. After everything that happened, she doesn't know if she could handle that.

Why would Maggie agree to this? Sure, they probably offered her a pretty good pay rise but enough for her to give up her own column? There had to be something else to it. Why would she want to work with Alex, anyway? After everything that happened between them.

"Alex, you can work with her. It'll be good for you. I know you use this rivalry as a motivation for your writing, but it will be good for you to turn that into some positive collaborative energy. You'll be able to write better in the end, without having to compare yourself to someone."

"J'onn there's more to it than that."

"Like what?"

"It's just- ugh. It's not just that she's my competition. We don't get along, personally."

"Is there something I'm missing here Alex?"

Alex sighs. Now is definitely not the time or the place or the person to get into this with.

"It's just it's been a long time that she and I have been walking this line and it definitely hasn't all been completely civil between us. That's a lot of baggage to get over."

"Well, Maggie is clearly willing to try and get over it. She doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would want to make her own life harder in working with someone she doesn't think would be able to help her advance her career and the work she's doing. I was in the interview, Alex. She wants to take on this challenge. With you. I really hope you embrace this and see where it goes. It really is a good thing."

Alex sighs but she knows he's right. She doesn't want to give up on all the work she's done at this newspaper and it is a promotion. She wants this. She doesn't want this to happen with Maggie but if that's the only choice she has, it'll have to be worth it.

Chapter 2: chapter two

Summary:

Maggie and Alex adjust to their new working situation.

Chapter Text

Maggie's first day is at the beginning of the next week. In the meantime, Alex works on her new article for the coming Thursday as she usually would as well as setting up the new office she has to share with Maggie.

The professional thing to do would be to reach out to Maggie and express that she's looking forward to working with her but that isn't exactly true, plus Alex is stubborn. Everything about this promotion is all she's ever wanted, apart from the co-worker. Not even the concept of a co-worker but who the co-worker is. She wants the office, the well-paying, steady writing job and a column that's hers (even if she would have to share), but why did it have to be with her, of all people. The incident from two years ago that Alex does not want to relive, combined with her reaction when she found out about Maggie's alien-based articles is a lot of history that Alex doesn't want to have to deal with every day at work.

Alex can't foresee this working out at all. They are constantly hostile towards each other and would struggle to get along at the best of times judging by their record the last few years. Why on earth would Maggie want to leave her own job where she could regularly write what she wanted for working with Alex? Probably the same reasons Alex wants this job, but it's still frustrating.

J'onn had sent Alex an email Friday afternoon informing her that Maggie, her and himself would be having a meeting Monday morning to establish some things and work on organising their column.

On Monday morning, Alex wakes up earlier than she usually would to go for a longer run, hoping to burn off some energy which could surely turn into aggression if given the chance.

She comes into work after going home, showering and stopping by her usual coffee shop to get the biggest cup of black coffee she can get. Alex sets her bag down on her desk when she gets into her new shared office. She had set it up at the end of last week, moving all of her things from her cubicle to her fully-fledged office. Honestly, there isn't much to move. She has a photo frame of her and Kara and another from one from a game's nights with Kara, James, Winn and herself. She also has a seashell that her dad gave her before he died that she uses as a paperweight along with some other knick-knacks that Kara gave her when she saw how bare her desk was.

There's nothing of hers on the walls around her, just the stock images in frames like J'onn's office. Walking in the door, Alex's desk is on the right and what will soon be Maggie's desk is on the left, facing each other with two chairs set up in front of both of them. Across from the door, between the two desks there is a lounge underneath a window. There are four filing cabinets, two behind each of the desks. The walls are a light gray and the carpet a navy blue with the wall to the rest of the office completely made of glass with blinds across the interior.

Maggie's desk is empty except for the office supplied items including a desktop computer and other stationery items.

Alex unpacks the research she's been doing for her upcoming article due in three days' time, including her laptop that has an excessive amount of tabs open that she is too concerned she's may need to actually close.

She logs into her desktop computer, doing the usual check of her emails as well as some alien news and conspiracy sites she checks for any hint of a good story when Maggie enters with a saddlebag slung over her shoulder and a cardboard box in her hands, presumably full of her belongings.

"Danvers, fancy seeing you here," Maggie says with a smirk, walking over to her desk, putting her belongings down and turning to face Alex.

"Very funny Sawyer," Alex says, annoyed.

"It's some nice office space up here, much better than at National City Weekly."

"Is that why you're here then? For a view you couldn't get National City Weekly?"

"Just a nice bonus."

"What's your angle here, Sawyer?"

"What are you talking about?" Maggie asks, acting confused but the rise in the corner of her lips suggests she knows exactly what Alex is talking about.

"Don't play dumb. This job."

"Danvers, you know as well as I do that this is a great promotion. I would've been an idiot not to take it. And I'm not an idiot."

Alex's desk phone starts to ring before either of them can get any more jabs in.

"It's J'onn. He wants to meet with us in his office," Alex says, hanging up the phone. She is not looking forward to this.

Alex walks out of their office without even looking behind her to see if Maggie heard her properly let alone if she's following her.

She navigates the familiar path through the clumps of desks to J'onn's office. Alex knocks and pushes the door open, feeling the weight of it lighten as Maggie enters after her, supporting the door herself.

"Morning ladies," J'onn says, setting down the newspaper of a competitor he was reading and looking up at them.

Alex and Maggie each take a seat in the two black leather seats in front of his desk, greeting him back.

"J'onn, I just want to start off by saying how excited I am to be working with you. Thank you for the opportunity, I can't wait to get started."

Alex has to resist every impulse in her body to not roll her eyes and groan.

"It's an honor to have you join us, Maggie. We're both as eager as you are to get into it," he says, indicating towards Alex.

Alex hums and nods her head to agree, even though she's feeling quite the opposite.

"So, I thought it would be a good idea to go over how this arrangement and the whole new column is going to work as a group so we're all clear. In a nutshell, there'll be one article each week, on a Thursday, with you two alternating weeks. Alex, you've already been working on something, so we'll use that this week meaning Maggie, you'll be next week. I'm going to give you two a bit more free reign than I usually would. I expect you to collaborate and confer with each other about what you're doing. You both have a great knowledge of aliens but they're not exactly the same. You each bring something different to this and I want to see that. I want you both to produce the work that this paper is known for, I'm relying on you two."

Alex looks over at Maggie, clenching her jaw. This is going to be painful.

"Now, Maggie. There'll be an IT person up here in about twenty minutes to set you up with a profile and a login. After that, Alex could you run through the logistics of how we work here with her. What schedules we work to, show her around."

Alex goes to speak but J'onn keeps going. "Before you say anything, I'm aware of the… tension between you two," Alex cringes at the word choice. "But I don't want that to be something that's going to get in the way of your work. Take her to lunch, Alex. Figure out a system. Whatever you need to do. But I'm not going to tolerate any pettiness. This is an amazing opportunity for you both, I hope you treat it as such."

In her peripheral vision, Alex can see Maggie turn to look at her. Alex, however, continues to look straight at J'onn.

"Any questions?"

The women shake their heads and exchange a few final logistical comments before they get up to go back to their own office.

Maggie holds the door open for Alex to walk through and right as she passes her, Alex hears her say, "your shout right, Danvers?"

Turns out they sent over Winn to help Maggie set up her computer who shoots Alex a look every now and again at just how funny it is how she got herself in this situation. After the woman from IT stops by, Alex does what J'onn said and begrudgingly shows Maggie around the office and all the departments on their floor. Alex says as little words as possible, trying to get this over with as quickly as she can. They get back to their office and Alex walks her through how things work here, trying to ignore the smug look on Maggie's face at the fact Alex has to do this.

Once Alex rushes through everything, she sits back at her desk and a silence falls over them.

A few hours later, as people start filtering out to lunch, Maggie breaks the silence.

"So where are you taking me, Danvers?"

Alex rolls her eyes not at all subtly. She does not want to have to do this, but she can't exactly hide in her office, the walls are made of glass for god's sake. Curse modern interior design aesthetics.

Alex sighs before she answers. "Well, usually I go down the street to Noonan's." She pauses before she continues, "and I suppose you'll be joining me."

"Such a warm invitation," Maggie says with a chipper, sarcastic voice.

Alex finishes typing an email and sighs, might as well get this over with. She gets out of her chair, grabbing her bag and heading to the door.

She knows she can't be hostile forever. She doesn't like Maggie, in any way, but she's not going to ruin this for either of them because she refuses to be civil.

Alex stops at the door. "Coming?"

Maggie gives another cocky smirk and Alex clenches her teeth in a failed attempt to stop heat rising to her cheeks. Maggie grabs her bag and follows Alex.

Their food arrives at the table and it breaks the consistent silence that has been surrounding them. After they give their thanks to the waitress though, it's right back to quiet with just the sound of the few other full tables and traffic outside to make it not entirely awkward.

Maggie takes a bite of her Caesar chicken sandwich while Alex starts to poke at the chickpea salad in front of her.

Alex takes the opportunity to ask what has been on her mind since she found out about this job.

"So, what is this for you?"

"What?"

"Why are you here? To get back at me?"

"Are you kidding me? This job is a great opportunity for me. We both know that The National City Times is much better than National City Weekly. I have a chance here to really make my career what I've always wanted it to be. The pay is better, as I'm sure it is for you too. It's a stable column I can put my name on and be proud of. Plus, the two weeks to write an article instead of a few days is amazing, I can do so much more. Producing what is basically a mini-essay every week in this format is a great opportunity."

Alex bows her head, kind of ashamed she even asked. She knew all this already, but she was too self-centred to realize Maggie was seeing it the same way, that it wasn't about her. Alex vehemently ignores the disappointment she feels at the realization.

Maggie picks up her glass of water, in the process of bringing to her mouth as she says, "trust me, working with you factored very little into my decision."

Alex watches Maggie's lips wrap over the rim of the glass as she thinks, but it did play into it a little.

A week later, their working relationship hasn't really changed. Maggie asked to read Alex's article for Thursday before it would be published. Alex ended up showing it to her. It's her first article of their column, after all, if they're going to be in this together Maggie probably deserves to know what's being written. What Alex didn't expect, however, was to find a printed copy of her article covered in notes in red pen on her desk when she got back from lunch. She didn't even look at it.

Alex is out for her usual lunch date with Kara, listening to her talk about the impossible errands Cat Grant has her running because she can't trust her new assistant.

"So, what time were you going to get to Charlie's? I was going to meet Winn there at 6:30," Kara says nonchalantly.

Alex looks up in confusion. Some of the people in the office organised a welcome drinks event for Maggie at a bar down the street for the end of the week but she wasn't planning on going and she sure as hell didn't expect Kara to go.

"I'm not going to that."

"What?" Kara exclaims. "You have to!"

"No, I don't."

"Alex, come on."

"What, Kara!" she says, exasperated.

"I thought you said this week wasn't too bad with Maggie."

"We barely say two words to each other each day. Every time I look up, she's right there. She radiates this passive-aggressive, smug energy constantly, it's absolutely infuriating. Why in hell would I go to a bar to celebrate her working with me when I wish it wasn't happening."

Kara just looks at Alex, seeing right through her.

"Stop," Alex says.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Stop making that face. Stop thinking what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"You're thinking I'm antagonising her. That I'm being dramatic. Which I'm not."

"Alex, you said you were going to try and let this all go."

"That was before she came to where I work and started taking over my job. What do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to be the bigger person."

Alex scoffs. "Why should I?" she asks, incredulously.

"Because someone has to. And I believe you when you say that she's not exactly acting like the easiest person to work with. But I also think that this conception of Maggie you've built up in your head these last two years is being projected onto actual Maggie. You've worked towards this for years. Don't let her ruin it but more importantly, don't let yourself ruin it just because you didn't try to make the best of a bad situation."

Man, it's annoying when Kara reads her like that.

"So, go tonight. Play nice. Hopefully, it will be the first step to a good working relationship. Maybe even more."

Alex scrunches her eyebrows together and her cheeks turn a slight shade of red.

"I meant," Kara clarifies. "Maybe you two could be friends one day."

"I don't see that happening," Alex scoffs. Before Kara can respond, Alex continues. "But I will go tonight. We'll see how it goes."

Kara gives her a small smile. "That's a good decision, Alex."

"No promises about the rest of it," Alex clarifies.

"That's fine."

"Thanks, Kara," Alex says, quietly, bringing her coffee to her mouth.

Kara beams, not even trying to play it down.

"Anytime."

Alex goes back to her office after lunch, which also means going back to the tension-filled silence of her shared office. Maggie is in there when she arrives, it doesn't really look like she left. Come to think of it, she hasn't left the office for lunch or even been talking to anyone in the office since she started. It's hard to be the new person and Alex, as her closest co-worker, isn't helping her to adjust and be comfortable in the new workplace. Being completely adamant on keeping this rivalry between them. Alex pushes the thought away.

It's easy to spark up a routine in less than a week when your days involve basically no interacting with the person who sits six feet away from you. Maggie is usually already here when Alex shows up in the morning with her coffee on her desk. They don't say hello to each other and mostly sit in silence except for a few work-related conversations every now and again. They both tend to leave the office later than everyone else, walking out without saying bye to each other.

Alex walks into the office, finding Maggie at her desk and turning to walk towards her own. Alex decides to go through the online comments about her article that came out yesterday, the last one before the revamp to include Maggie and expand the column. She gets the standard 'aliens don't deserve basic rights and are a danger to society' bullshit but she also gets some good comments from people that have some basic critical thinking skills. While she's excited about the changes to the column (for the most part), it's the end of an era for the work she's been doing for the past few years.

Without even realizing it, Alex sighs. This makes Maggie look up at her from across the room.

"You 'right there, Danvers?" Maggie asks with a head tilt and slightly raised eyebrows. The way that Maggie's lips quirk up in the corner catches Alex's attention in particular, but she quickly looks away.

"Yep," she replies simply, unsurprisingly choosing not to share the sentimental moment she just had.

Maggie just nods in response.

Before they know it, the end of the day has arrived. Alex gathers her things to go back to her apartment before she reluctantly goes to the bar with Winn and Kara.

"I'll see you tonight," Maggie says, just as Alex is at the door, not even looking up from her computer. It's not even phrased as a question.

"What makes you think I'm going?" Alex asks in frustration, crossing her arms and turning to Maggie.

Maggie looks up with a cocky smirk on her face. "Just an inkling."

Alex clenches her teeth to stop from rolling her eyes and turns to leave without another word. Now she really doesn't want to go tonight.

When she walks into the bar behind Kara, she finds most of her co-workers spread throughout the room in little groups. She inadvertently scans the room for Maggie, finding her leaning against the bar talking to James.

Alex and Kara walk around in search of Winn who's watching a game of darts between two other people from IT.

"Kara! Alex!" Winn exclaims, walking over to them. "You're a bit late," he says looking at his watch.

"Let's just say that Alex took her time," Kara says, obviously referring to the stalling Alex did to avoid coming at all.

Alex gives her a side-eye look, but she purposely doesn't look over.

"I'm going to get us some drinks," Alex says. The only way she can get through being here is if she's intoxicated.

The bar's pretty crowded, it is a Friday night after all, so it takes a second to push herself in just to wait for a bartender to notice her.

The couple next to her leave and Alex comes face-to-face with Maggie. Alex quickly turns away once she realizes it's her.

"Told ya," Maggie mumbles just loud enough to be audible.

"What?" Alex asks, not even sure whether she cares about the answer.

"Told you you'd come."

Alex rolls her eyes. "I'm just here with my friends."

"I didn't say you weren't," she says. And with a tilt of her head and a shrug of her shoulders, she's gone.

Alex carries the three drinks back to the table Kara and Winn found, now joined by James and Lucy. Lucy works in the marketing department for The National City Times, which is located on the floor above them, so Alex doesn't get to see her very much. She used to date James but they stayed friends after the split even though she doesn't join them as a group as much as she would when they were dating.

"Thanks, Alex," Winn says, taking his beer.

"Hello, where's mine?" Lucy asks.

"First of all, I didn't even know you were here. And second of all, what's stopping you from getting your own?"

"Oh, how I miss you Alex. We should really hang out more."

Alex laughs and nods. They really should.

"So, we saw you talking to Maggie earlier," Kara says to James, also taking her drink from Alex.

"Yeah, we go way back. I did quite a few stories as her photographer when we were starting out. It's nice seeing her moving up."

"No one asked for a history lesson, James. We all know this already," Alex says, projecting her annoyance onto him.

"Oh, is that who this is for?" Lucy asks. "I just heard there was a party."

"It's not really a party," Winn says quietly, knowing that detail isn't really that important.

"How did you not hear about this?" Kara asks like it's the world's most important news when it's really just some overrated gossip.

"I've been busy, I haven't been keeping up with office goings-on clearly. So, what happened?"

"Maggie, Alex's arch-nemesis-" Kara starts before she's interrupted by a slap to the arm from Alex for her dramatics. "Hey! Rude," she says, even though Alex knows for a fact that hurt her more than it hurt Kara. "Anyway, as I was saying. Maggie got hired at your newspaper to do a shared column with Alex every week and things aren't exactly easy going."

"Oh, is this the same woman you've had a rivalry with for the last few months."

"Two years. But yes," Alex responds.

"Man, I really am behind. I never caught her name; it was always just a mysterious whisper of her which seemed way too much effort to get into."

"Well, now you know. Congratulations," Alex says, taking a large sip of her beer.

"Wait," Lucy says suddenly. "There's no way this Maggie is Maggie Sawyer, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Alex says, confused.

"Oh my god! No way."

"What's happening?" Kara asks.

At that moment, Maggie walks up to their table right next to Lucy.

"Lucy?"

"Maggie?"

"Do you work here? At the newspaper?" Maggie asks, completely shocked.

"Yeah! I'm in marketing, the floor above yours. I had no idea you were joining us. In all honesty, I didn't even know this was for you I just heard there was after work drinks."

"Wow. This is," Maggie pauses, taking a second to look Lucy up and down. "Unexpected."

"I missed you, babe. Come here," Lucy says, pulling Maggie in for a hug (that lasts a bit too long in Alex's opinion).

"So," Winn awkwardly starts. "How do you two know each other?"

"Oh, we went to college together," Lucy replies.

Of course, they did. This is exactly what Alex needs.

"Yeah, we were roommates. Great friends ever since," Maggie adds.

Maggie and Lucy share an intense look and Alex dreads what's coming next.

"Friends, huh?" Kara asks, she must've noticed the change in the air too.

"I guess you could say there were some… benefits to our friendship…" Lucy says with a mischievous smile.

"Some pretty great benefits one might say," Maggie says, sharing the smile.

Alex just stands completely still, no idea what to do.

"I would say that," Lucy responds before clearing her throat. "Those days have ended though, even through my protests. But we've stayed in contact over the years either way."

"It must have been a few years since we last caught up. Life's been so busy."

"Good news is now we don't really have an excuse since we work one elevator ride apart."

Maggie laughs. "It'll be nice to have a friend here."

"You got one," Lucy replies. "Also, I didn't know you knew James."

"Oh, yeah. For quite a few years actually."

"We actually dated last year," Lucy says a bit awkwardly.

"Oh. That adds a new level to our friendship," Maggie laughs.

"It's all good, don't worry. Lucy and I are on great terms," James adds.

"I also didn't know you were the woman Alex has been obsessed with for the last few years."

"Lucy!" Alex exclaims.

"What? Your feud isn't exactly normal behavior."

Alex groans in frustration and embarrassment.

"We should catch up," Maggie says to Lucy, seemingly avoiding the comment that was just made.

"Definitely," she says, taking Maggie by the arm to lead her away. "See you guys later."

Alex swears she can't catch a break.

Chapter 3: chapter three

Summary:

Just as their working relationship seems to be improving, an event arises which could throw them off course or be just what they need to face the truth.

Notes:

hey everyone! took a little bit of a break over the holidays but hopefully should get back to regular updates from now on. please enjoy and would love feedback and comments :)

Chapter Text

Their routine has progressed over the last few weeks of working together. Maggie has settled into the job, probably with the help of Lucy giving her the proper introduction that Alex failed to do. The atmosphere of their office is less hostile than it was when Maggie first arrived which makes working easier. They talk more too. But just about work. They have to make sure they're not doing the same stories after all. They also had to write an introduction together for the first issue of their column which was a challenge, to say the least.

It's Wednesday morning, Maggie's second article having come out on Thursday last week. Because aliens are so unexplored and there is so much propaganda about how dangerous they are, it can take a few days to figure out what they want to write about and find a good essay topic or current story.

"Have you decided on an article for next week?" Alex asks Maggie who has her eyes glued to her computer screen.

"Yeah, I was thinking of doing a profile on Krells. Along with a few other species but I'm still tossing up between which ones to include."

"I did an article on them last year," Alex says, wondering if Maggie is just doing this to annoy her or if Maggie's been paying the same level of attention to Alex as Alex has to Maggie.

"I know," Maggie says, finally looking at Alex. "But their population has grown over the last twelve months and they're more visible, so I think it's appropriate to update it. There were some things that weren't in the article you did that I think are important to mention."

"Are you serious? That was a great piece."

"I didn't say it wasn't. Mine's just going to be an update."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"What, Alex," she replies, annoyed. "You asked I answered. It's not just about Krells, it's a profile on a bunch of high population alien species in National City. Not everything is about you."

"Whatever," Alex says. Maggie's obviously just doing this to get to her and she hates to admit that it's working.

"Whatever is right," Maggie says under her breath, but Alex still hears it.

"I'm going to lunch," Alex says with frustration, grabbing her phone and her bag. She's supposed to meet Kara at one and it's only 12:30 but she doesn't want to be here anymore.

She's out the door before she can hear Maggie sigh.

"I can't stand her, Kara. Is her one goal in life to get under my skin? Because, if so, she's doing a hell of a good job."

Kara sighs. "Alex, it sounds like she's just doing her job."

"No, she's doing my job. And I don't get a choice in the matter."

"It's not just your job anymore Alex. I thought you said it's been good between the two of you lately?"

"More like tolerable, at best."

Kara puts down her knife and fork and Alex knows she's in for a talking to.

"Just take everything she does with a grain of salt. Maybe your article was an inspiration not a way to make you upset. She's just trying to do her job; it's not always going to be about you."

"You sound just like her."

"Well, maybe there's a reason for that Alex," Kara says casually, picking up her utensils and digging back into her plate of food.

Alex sighs. It's something she doesn't want to admit but maybe they're right.

"Anyway, enough of that," Kara says. "Ms Grant has me taking care of her dog until Friday while she's out of town and I have no idea what to do. Could you come over and help me?"

Alex smiles. "Sure, Kara."

"Yay!" Kara exclaims. "It'll be fun, we can make a sister night of it. Order Chinese, watch romantic comedies and eat ice cream. It'll also give you a chance to have a much-needed break from all your work stuff."

"Sounds good to me," Alex replies, now definitely calmer than she was when she arrived.

Cat Grant's dog, well more like her son's dog, sits patiently and watches them eat their Chinese food while The Proposal plays on the television in the background. Kara sits with her knees pulled up to her chest in an attempt to block the view of the dog so she doesn't feel as guilty for not sharing her potstickers.

"If you just give her one it'll keep her occupied for a while so you wouldn't have to hide from the tiniest dog on the planet," Alex says.

"But," Kara hesitates. "They're mine."

"Then you have to live with that guilt," Alex says, dropping a noodle from her chopsticks on the ground for the dog to eat.

It's nice to be around such light-heartedness after the day she's had. She went back to the office to stone-cold silence. After talking to Kara though she hasn't been able to shake the feeling that she was being unreasonable to the point where it was affecting Maggie's ability to do her job as well as Alex's ability to do hers. A little competition was fine, motivating even, when they weren't working together but now things have changed. In all honesty, she doesn't know how long they can go on like this. But every time she looks at Maggie she can't help but be brought back to that night two years ago and start to feel all the pain that followed back in full force. The more time she spends with Maggie, the more feelings that start returning and that is not a place she wants to find herself back in again.

"Ryan Reynolds is so attractive," Kara says, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Sandra Bullock is so attractive," Alex adds.

"This movie really has something for everyone."

"It sure as hell does."

The next morning, the sound of Alex's phone ringing wakes them from where they had dozed off on the couch. It takes Alex a second to get her bearings but Kara's groan of annoyance at being woken up gets her into action. She grabs her phone, standing from the couch and moving to the kitchen area. She squints at the screen and sees J'onn's name.

"J'onn, hi," Alex says in a voice still shrouded in sleep.

"Alex, are you watching the news right now?"

"Um, no," Alex says, confused and concerned. "What's going on?"

"Turn to CBS."

Alex does as she's told, walking back to the couch and turning on the news.

There's a reporter standing in front of a hospital in Nebraska.

"The attack took place in the early hours of the morning on the outside of Beatrice, Nebraska. The four male victims, aged between seventeen and nineteen, are all in stable condition in the hospital behind me."

"What happened?" Alex asks J'onn, while the reporter talks more in-depth about the injuries sustained.

"There's a report that a pair of aliens attacked a group of young boys near to death."

This surprises Alex for a few reasons. The alien population in Nebraska and many of the southern states isn't very high, or if it is, they don't make themselves known. Contrary to popular belief, aliens don't tend to attack humans very much at all. There's more danger in making yourself known than any benefits that could come from messing with humans so drawing attention and exposure like that is not a situation aliens tend to put themselves in.

"I need you to come straight to my office when you arrive."

"Of course, be there soon."

She hangs up and looks down at Kara who's now awake, watching the screen with a worried look on her face.

"Do you think it's true? Do you think that's what actually happened?"

"I don't know, Kara," Alex says, regretfully. "I have to go to work, I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah," Kara replies.

Alex leans down to plant a kiss on her sisters' cheek before grabbing her jacket to head to the office.

Alex rushes to the elevator as the doors start to close, getting her hand in just in time. The doors slowly open back up and she's face to face with Maggie. Of course.

"Danvers."

"Sawyer."

Alex can see Maggie looking over at her as they travel in silence.

"You must've had a good night," Maggie says, casually.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're in the same clothes as yesterday," Maggie replies just as the doors open and she walks out.

Has she been paying attention to what I've been wearing?

Alex pushes down both the disappointment that Maggie thinks she's recklessly sleeping with people to the point she can't get a change of clothes for the next morning and the excitement that Maggie is paying such close attention to how she looks.

Alex quickly catches up with her, both heading towards J'onn's office.

"I stayed overnight with my sister. J'onn called me in straight away I couldn't go home and change."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me, Danvers," she says, a look on her face that isn't easy to read.

Alex just groans. God, she's infuriating.

J'onn is already in his office when they arrive.

"Alex, Maggie, thanks for coming in early. Take a seat," he says, indicating to the seats in front of his desk.

"So, I talked to both of you about what's going on. The story is everywhere, everyone covering it the same way saying the same things. And the upcoming signing of the executive order to provide America's extra-terrestrial visitors with amnesty means that politicians and the news cycle are going to cling onto this for weeks. Four kids could've died, it's a big deal."

Alex is always inspired by his passion for what he does, especially when it comes to her column, well, her and Maggie's column now.

"I want you two to go deeper and find a story that no one else has."

"Both of us?" Alex asks. She thought it would be Maggie's next story seeing as it's her turn next but was hoping J'onn would want her to take it.

"Alex," he says, turning to her. "Your new article came out today. And, Maggie, yours is scheduled for Thursday, a week from now. How would you feel about postponing it a week?"

"Um, yeah," Maggie says. "That's fine."

"Good," J'onn clears his throat. "What I'm proposing is, the two of you go to Nebraska and cover this story from the source. There's a flight first thing tomorrow morning which would give you both some time to look into how the story is being shaped as we speak as well as pack and, otherwise, get your effects in order."

Going on a trip? Just her and Maggie? No fucking way.

"I don't need her, I can do this myself," Alex demands.

"Hold on, it's my week to release an article. I can do this myself."

"I've been here longer; I should get this story. J'onn, come on."

"Ladies," J'onn interrupts before either of them can continue with their bickering. "I want you both there. It's a big story. You both have different strengths and expertise that will be needed there, I assure you, especially since the species is currently unknown. Just think of this as an opportunity to learn how to work together and, more than that, respect each other."

Alex and Maggie look at each other. There is no way this meeting could have ended worse than it did.

Chapter 4: chapter four

Summary:

Alex and Maggie prepare for their trip to Nebraska and, once they get there, things turn sour fast. How long can they keep this up?

Chapter Text

Alex sits at her desk researching for the rest of the day, quietly stewing in anger at this new development. There are so many things about this that she can't stand. She's going to be trapped in working with Maggie one-on-one for god knows how long. Then she's going to have to write the article with her in what will surely be a collaborative nightmare. Plus, she's not going to have any outlet like she has here with Kara so who knows how she's going to be able to handle her feelings, anger or… otherwise.

Maggie sits across from her, radiating the same energy as Alex. She's also doing research on the current reports from other news outlets about the attack. The story is everywhere, any station that has a news segment has had a profile on it. Not much more has come out as the day has progressed. The main story being that an unidentified alien or group of aliens attacked four teenage boys for no reason on the outside of Beatrice, Nebraska where they sustained moderate to serious injuries.

By the end of the day, they both feel defeated. There's no fighting with J'onn when he makes a decision, but Alex doesn't see how this story can make anything better between them.

"This is going to suck," Alex says, absentmindedly.

"Yeah. It is," Maggie replies, much to Alex's surprise.

Alex looks up and Maggie is looking at her. There isn't any anger or frustration in her face. It's almost like a look of regret that they've got themselves to this point. Not just having to take a trip together but that their relationship with each other is so messed up that just the thought of a trip is something that strikes up so much resistance and animosity. Alex feels the same way.

They just look at each other for a long few seconds before Alex breaks it, not letting herself get out of control.

After work, Kara joins Alex at her apartment to pack for the next morning. She has to be at the airport at six in the morning, so Alex doesn't really want to stay up all night packing and Kara was more than willing to help her anyway.

"So how exactly is this going to work?" Kara asks as she folds some of Alex's clothes.

"I don't know, to be honest," Alex replies, going through her closet for what to bring with her. "We'll figure it out as we go, I guess."

"You've done big stories like this before, right? I guess you'll just have to split the workload."

"Yeah but nothing this big. There'll be a lot to do. Talking to the police, victims if we can, any witnesses, other people in town. Somehow getting police reports and character profiles. Writing it together which would be difficult even if it wasn't Maggie I was writing with," Alex says, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

"This might be a good chance for you two to get closer and put your differences aside."

"Did you and J'onn set this up as some kind of intervention?" Alex accuses, her voice rising. "I don't want to get closer to her, Kara. Do you know how torturous it is to see her every day and have to face her every day after what happened between us? Do you know how humiliated and betrayed I felt? No. So I don't want to get closer and I don't want to make up or whatever bullshit you think is going to happen on this trip. I just want to stop having to remember it every single day and feel the same things I felt back then."

"You still have feelings for her?"

"No," Alex says with as much conviction as she can muster. "It's just… a reminder."

"Okay well, Alex, I was there when this whole thing happened. I obviously didn't experience but I know the effect it had on you and it was hard to watch."

Alex bows her head, memories of Kara's support coming back to her.

"But," Kara continues. "I also think this conflict can't go on and it won't go on if you do something about it. Or maybe she'll be the one to start making amends. Just be open to it."

Alex is still hesitant. She really doesn't know how long her and Maggie can go on like this but she doesn't even know how she would begin to make things easier between them. At the end of the day, unfortunately, she knows that she's going to go back to her default aggression when she sees her anyway.

"We'll see."

Alex is up too goddamn early the next morning. She takes a cab to the airport, eventually making it to the departure gate half an hour before they're scheduled to leave. They are taking a plane to Lincoln and renting a car to drive the hour to Beatrice.

Maggie is already there when Alex arrives. Her eyes are glued to her phone, no doubt doing some research or other work for their trip.

Alex hesitantly sits next to her, leaving a seat between them.

"Hi," Alex quietly says.

Maggie mustn't have noticed she was there because she whips her head up towards Alex, biting the inside of her lip and bowing her head back down to her phone.

"Hi," she replies.

The flight is quiet. They had sent each other a copy of their research on the attack to see how they compare, and Alex takes the time to read it on the plane. It's thorough and it gives the same impression that she found herself. There are still no perpetrators that have been arrested or even a release of the type of suspects they are looking for. There's a lot of speculation to the circumstances surrounding what happened which makes it easily manipulated, an occurrence all too common with news concerning aliens.

"I think we should rent a car, go to the hotel to check-in and drop off our luggage and then head to the crime scene," Alex says bluntly while they wait for their suitcases to appear at baggage claim.

"So, that's how it's going to be this weekend, huh? You calling all the shots and me blindly following behind," Maggie states.

Alex rolls her eyes. "Well, what else do you suggest we do? It's not that deep," Alex replies harsher than she should.

"You can at least make room for me to contribute. It's not that hard."

"Fine," Alex groans but takes a deep breath to settle herself. "Is that plan alright with you?"

Maggie ignores her, spotting her bag and going to grab it. Without looking back, she walks towards the corridor with an arrow labelled Car Rental Service.

Alex sighs at her lack of restraint. A few seconds later, Alex spots her own suitcase, picking it up and following Maggie.

After twenty minutes of silent waiting in line, Maggie drives them to their hotel to check-in. Alex is relieved when she finds out their rooms are on opposite sides of the hotel. They go their separate ways and the relief from the heavy silence that's been hanging between them for hours is a godsend.

Alex gets to her room and doesn't even bother unpacking before dropping face-first onto her bed. They haven't even started working and everything between her and Maggie is so tense. She doesn't know how they can keep going like this, one of them is going to snap eventually. How else could this end?

After a few minutes, Alex forces herself to get up. They agreed that they would just drop their stuff off at their rooms and then head straight to the crime scene. They both just want to get this over with as soon as possible and the best way to do that is to start.

When Alex and Maggie arrive at the crime scene, there are several people hanging around and the area is surrounded by yellow police tape. It's a bit over twenty-four hours since the event but there are still groups of officials at the scene. Alex can see FBI agents doing their investigation behind the tape, with their own forensics and what she assumes are experts on alien activity. The local police are acting more like security with some higher-level officers speaking with the agents. Unsurprisingly, there's also a group of onlookers. Clearly, this is the most interesting thing that's happened in this town in a long time. There are some cameras and reporters from both local and national news networks.

"If we say we're press they might not tell us anything," Alex starts talking absentmindedly. "If we say we're civilians they surely won't tell us anything. And we definitely can't get in there to have a look ourselves."

"Ask the press that's here," Maggie replies, looking out at the scene in front of her. "I can say I'm just a local, see how much information they're getting out of these officers," she indicates towards the cops and FBI. "It'll give us an idea of what we're facing with these people."

Alex looks over at her with an eyebrow raised. "You sure you're up for that?" Alex asks sceptically.

Maggie meets Alex's gaze and rolls her eyes. She watches Maggie walk over to a woman behind one of the news cameras. Alex recognises instantly that she's flirting with her. Whatever Maggie's saying is making the woman smile and laugh way more than a normal conversation would. Maggie steps forward so she and the woman are practically breathing the same air.

Alex forces herself to look away, pushing down the jealousy she's feeling. She turns her gaze to the crime scene. There isn't much there, just signs of some kind of fight. She can see samples of human blood and what must be the alien's blood, a deeper red, almost black. There are FBI agents that look like they're trying to track any trace of residual alien technology use in the vicinity. From the dozens of articles she's written on the topic, Alex knows that the government are still developing ways to track and catalogue alien species which is probably why they're still at the scene the next day.

"So," Maggie says, coming up beside Alex. "They aren't revealing more than what we've already seen from all the media outlets. Any other information that the press try to get out of them has been met with a lot of 'no comment' answers."

Alex doesn't look at Maggie, rather keeping her eyes on the FBI behind the tape.

"Well, trying to get information from them as civilians won't work any better. Unless you want to seduce someone else for a scoop, that is."

Maggie turns abruptly to look at Alex.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Maggie asks, angrily.

"What? Is that not what you were doing?" Alex replies, sarcastically.

"I was talking to her. Even if I was flirting with her, it's just talking. It's not like I'm going around sleeping with people left and right for my articles every week. Even if I was, it's none of your business."

Alex clenches her jaw. God, Maggie is infuriating, what did she ever see in her?

"You're right," Alex says through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to argue back. "It's none of my business."

A silence falls over them.

"I'm going to go interview the onlookers, see if they know anything," Alex mumbles, walking away.

The words Maggie said to her a few days ago ring in her mind. Not everything is about you. If that's the case, why does Alex keep making everything about Maggie?

Alex doesn't get much out of the people she talks to. It seems like the people in this town are about as ignorant about aliens as you'd expect. A lot of them didn't even know that there were aliens living in their city until now. Some still don't think there is and that this is all a conspiracy theory.

Alex looks over at Maggie, who has been doing the same thing. Just by the look on her face, Alex can tell that she's having the same amount of luck with the bystanders as she is.

Alex knows she shouldn't have said what she did. She had no right to and she knows that. There's really no good excuse. They've both been pushing down a multitude of things between them for years, one more fight shouldn't inhibit their ability to get on with the job.

"Anything?" Alex asks Maggie.

"Nope," Maggie replies.

They keep looking around the crime scene, trying to determine their next move, on the lookout for anything suspicious. Really just looking for anything they could draw from.

"Maggie?" a voice says, leading both women to look around at the person.

"Ian?" Maggie responds with a smile starting to spread across her face

"No way," the man says, moving towards her.

Alex takes a step further back from the two of them, not really sure what to do.

"I could say the same thing to you," she jokes back, going in for a hug. "I can't believe you're still in this beat-up town."

"I only came back recently. College in New York."

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. Computer science, right?"

"You always had a great memory. I ended up doubling in forensic science as well. Did some IT work in the city for a few years but I had to come back when mom got sick."

"Oh, no. Is she okay?"

"She's okay. More stable now which is good. I'm all she has; I couldn't leave her alone."

"I always knew you were one of the good ones. I missed you, man."

"I missed you, too. It's been too long. Anyway, there was a job opening for analytics in the police department, so I took it and here I am. What's your story of the last ten years then? It was journalism at Berkeley, wasn't it?"

"It was. Just been working my way around newspapers since. Gotham, Metropolis and now National City. That's why I'm here, actually," Maggie says, motioning towards the scene in front of them.

Ian looks over at Alex who's still trying to keep a respectable distance but clearly interested by what's happening and who this man is. Maggie must suddenly remember that Alex exists because she turns around curiously to just be met with, well, her.

"Oh, um, this is my colleague, Alex Danvers."

Ian holds out a hand which Alex gladly shakes.

"You must be so confused," he says with a chuckle. "Maggie and I were friends in high school. Basically, the only one either of us had."

"Hey, don't forget Danny, the exchange student."

"Danny," Ian repeats, drawing out the word with affection. "He was great."

"Remember how we would invite him over to play our video games with us, but he would just sit in the corner and read."

"Oh, yeah," Ian laughs. "He had some good taste though. Too bad he didn't care about comics; we were the experts on them."

"I keep my collection at my aunts', sometimes when I'm in my apartment I wish I could just pull one out and start reading."

"I have all mine with me now that I'm back home. Jealous?"

"Obviously."

Alex is a little overwhelmed by the amount of information she's trying to take in. Maggie? A comic book nerd? And a video game nerd? That she did not expect. But she takes in all the facts about Maggie as though they are the most precious things in the world. Oh, boy.

Maggie looks over again at Alex and the probably dumbfounded look on her face and her cheeks start to turn pink at how exposed she feels.

"Um, I hate to be that person," Maggie says to Ian. "But is there any way you could get us some info on what happened here? We can't get anything out of these guys. You'd really be helping me out."

Ian hesitates for a second. "Does anybody here know you're press?" he asks under his breath.

They both shake their heads.

"Here," he says, taking his phone from his back pocket and unlocking it. "Put in your number and I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you," Maggie says, taking his phone off him. "You're a lifesaver. And even if you can't get anything, text me anyway. I'd really love to catch up."

Ian smiles at her. "Will do," he says, taking the phone back. He leans in for another hug, "I'll talk to you soon."

Maggie wears a soft smile on her face as she watches him walk away. Alex can't draw herself away from looking at her. It's like a whole other person that Alex never knew existed, or even considered could exist, has shown themselves and it honestly throws Alex for a bit of a loop. They barely even know each other. How can two people that know so little about one another hate each other so much? Maybe they don't really.

Alex and Maggie spend the rest of the day driving around to the town's hot spots and talking to more locals. They even try to go to the hospital, but they don't get far enough in to talk to victims as they're met with several cops and security guards. The large majority of people they talk to don't know much about aliens or the incident just like the onlookers they spoke with at the crime scene. Those that do, however, are largely informed by the negative propaganda about aliens telling them that they are taking over their cities and putting ordinary people's at risk lives by bringing danger and crime with them. Even fewer people were liberal-minded and talked openly about how it's no surprise that some people in this town could be violent towards what's different.

They haven't gotten very much information at all so far. They've learnt that the incident took place at about one or two in the morning, in a part of town that's made up of small farms, many saying they don't understand why there would be anyone out there so late which just adds to the unusual nature of the event. They still don't know the species of alien that are accused of hurting those boys but that's not overly surprising as the people here wouldn't know the names of specific species.

Alex hopes that maybe Maggie's cop friend can pull through and give them some insights, it would really help them speed the process along and get the story no one else is. That is, assuming their hunch is right that there's something deeper going on here.

Maggie and Alex don't talk very much for the rest of the day. This whole experience is turning out exactly how Alex expected. She acted pettily and made everything more complicated and hostile than it had to be. She hates that her pain still exists and that it causes her to act in such stupid and childish ways. The worst part is that she knows that's not enough of an excuse to treat Maggie the way she does. Maggie barely even does anything towards her. She bites back and acts in small ways just to annoy Alex, but she doesn't openly call her out about her sex life in front of a crowd of onlookers.

Maggie pulls into the car park of their hotel completely unaware of how uncomfortable and guilty Alex has been feeling the entire journey. She knows she should apologise, and she wants to but there's a part in her brain that's telling her that would be too vulnerable and if she opens herself back up to vulnerability around Maggie then the ramifications could be disastrous.

Maggie parks and they both get out of the car, Maggie locking it behind them. They are walking the same direction for a bit until they have to go their separate ways to their rooms, still no words being spoken.

Maggie starts to veer off to the right towards her room. Alex starts to walk slower, knowing she should say something because the silence too is starting to feel vulnerable within itself.

"You did a good job today," Alex calls out to Maggie who's a few yards away from her now, her shame not letting her apologise like she knows she should.

Maggie turns back to look at Alex, trying to read her.

"I know."

Maggie continues to look at her with curiosity.

Alex nods, turning to walk away. She's already taken a few steps when she hears, "you too."

She turns back and smiles slightly at Maggie who returns the expression. They continue in opposite directions towards their rooms.

Chapter 5: chapter five

Summary:

Alex and Maggie struggle to get anywhere in the case, leaving Alex plenty of time to think about what she's been avoiding.

Chapter Text

Alex wakes up at her usual time which, to the usual person, would be awfully early. It wasn't even intentional though but probably due to her own body clock and how stressed she is at the moment. First, this story isn't going anywhere and they're struggling to get an exclusive or even any new information. Second, being around Maggie is taking more of a toll on her than she initially expected it to. She had been dreading how frustrating and tough it would be to be stuck with Maggie during this trip, but it's developed in a way she didn't expect. The hatred that she developed for Maggie over the years is starting to break down and the other feelings from that night, as well as the past two years, are starting to rise back to the surface. She's still trying her hardest to push all that down, it's just not as easy as it was when she only saw Maggie once every few months.

She gets up, wanting to put her mind to something to delay the psychoanalysing that's on the horizon. Alex decides to keep working on their assignment with another visit to the crime scene guessing it'll be less busy and crowded so early in the morning.

She gets dressed out of her pyjamas, grabbing her wallet, phone and hotel key card before leaving her room. It's only when she gets to the rental car that she realises that Maggie has the keys. She had briefly thought about asking Maggie if she wanted to come with her but that wouldn't exactly help her mindset, plus it's six o'clock in the morning. Those facts haven't changed just because she wants the keys to the car.

Alex figures it's a small town and surely the walk won't be too far, so she sets off on foot. Unfortunately, this leaves her mind to wander, just the thing she was trying to avoid. She questions the decisions she made all those years ago. Was she right to assume the worst in Maggie? Probably not.

After a forty-minute walk, she arrives at the crime scene. It's basically what she expected, there's no police around just some tape to keep people out. They must have got everything they needed, all the evidence that Alex never got to look at, otherwise, there would be someone here to keep a lookout for people trying to steal anything important.

Alex looks around to check there's no one in sight before ducking under the tape and wandering around. There's no residual blood or other bodily fluid she could take a sample of, no footsteps she could take a photo of to compare with her database for a match, no shrapnel of technology she could track the origin of. There's absolutely nothing. Just a large patch of dirt.

Really helpful, she thinks.

Since she doesn't find anything and it's still terribly early, Alex decides to wander around town just for the hell of it. It's a nice little town, she thinks. It's not exactly the small town that you see on TV, with the unnecessarily wide roads and where the woman who owns the inn takes four seasons to finally date the guy who runs the diner. It's pretty close though. Definitely not somewhere you expect a story like this to come from.

It's definitely a change from where she grew up right by Midvale's beaches. Alex is drawn back to whole days spent on the beach with her parents. Her dad teaching her how to surf and her mom building sandcastles with her. In her spare time, she used to go back on her own after Kara arrived and she got a bit older, not that she got much spare time after Kara arrived. It all became about her. She loves her sister and she's glad that she has her in her life but sometimes she thinks about what her life would be like if she stayed an only child.

Looking back, she can see how she never got the chance to understand her sexuality and realize that she's a lesbian. She didn't have moments to think about herself because it was always about Kara and keeping her safe. Then her father died, and she started to repress that so why not just repress everything else about herself. Her mother constantly berated her with expectations that she pushed herself to meet but as soon as she achieved one thing, something else would come up that she had to excel at, and it never seemed to stop. Once she got away from her mother, she continued to pose the same expectations on herself, never giving herself the opportunity to learn about herself outside of her studies and career. She just told herself (and Kara) that she was too busy for boys and she just never met one that she was interested in (which was true but for a different reason).

But then Maggie came along.

Alex shakes the thoughts from her head. She stops to take a better look around her at where she is. She guesses she's in the main part of town, with shops and businesses all around her that are starting to get busier with people. She pulls her phone out of her back pocket to check the time, it's nearing nine o'clock. It occurs to her that she hasn't talked to Kara since she landed in Nebraska, apart from a few texts, so she decides to give her a call. She could use a familiar, comforting voice.

She scrolls to Kara's name in her contacts, clicking it and holding the ringing to her ear, waiting for Kara to pick up.

"Alex! How are you? I miss you already," Kara says, Alex can hear the frown on her face for that last part.

"I'm okay. A bit cold. And we haven't made any progress on this damn story yet, which is annoying. How's everything back there?"

"You'll get the insight on the story, you always do. And things are good back here. James is going to come over tomorrow night to watch a movie."

Alex smiles. "Just James?"

"Yes, just James. We were talking yesterday, and I was saying how you were gone for who knows how long which means we'll probably miss a sister movie night or two. Then James offered to come over in your place."

"Y'know, Kara. That sounds a lot like a date to me."

Kara has liked James for the longest time and by the looks they often share, Alex would hazard a guess that it's reciprocal. She has no idea why it's taking so long for one of them to do something but to be fair Kara can be pretty oblivious sometimes. Maybe something is finally going to happen.

"What?" Kara scoffs. "It's not a date. It's just- he's just coming over for a movie. It's no big deal."

See. Oblivious.

"Well," Alex starts. "Maybe you should make it a big deal."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, go for it. Make a move. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Um, I don't know," Kara says, sarcastically. "He could reject me and I'd be incredibly embarrassed."

"Trust me on this Kara, he's not going to reject you."

Kara hesitates, probably in thought.

"No promises."

"No promises," Alex repeats.

"But I won't rule it out."

"That's my girl," Alex says with a smile.

"Anyway, enough about me. How are things going with Maggie?"

For a second, it strikes Alex as the kind of question that someone asks when you're dating someone like she and Maggie were dating. She ignores the part of her brain that wishes that was the context of the question.

Alex sighs.

"It's fine, I guess."

"It doesn't sound fine. Has she been pestering you?"

"No," Alex lets out with a frustrated laugh. "More like the opposite."

"You don't sound very pleased about that."

"I don't know I just… I've been thinking about everything that's happened between us. It's just a lot to think about."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Alex considers the offer.

"Not just yet, I'll let you know."

"Please do, Alex."

"I'll call you later. Have a fun date tomorrow," Alex teases.

"Shut up," Alex can practically see Kara roll her eyes. "Love you. Talk to you later."

"Love you too. Bye," Alex says, hanging up.

She keeps walking, coming across a diner and she realizes how hungry she is from getting up at 6am and not eating breakfast. It's your typical 50's themed diner with the bright red booths and the jukebox in the corner. She walks in a little further to take a seat at the bar. There aren't many people inside so she has plenty of options. In fact, there's only one person at the bar and as she gets closer she realizes who that person is.

Maggie is harbouring a mug of black coffee, scrolling through her phone. Her dark hair is down, framing her face like it always is. She bites her bottom lip as she reads her screen and Alex bites her own lip at the sight.

Alex debates whether she should turn around and leave but the rumbling of her stomach is begging her not to. Then she wonders whether she should even alert Maggie to her presence, but it would be even more awkward if she avoided her and Maggie saw her later. It's not like there's an abundance of people or noise to hide behind.

Alex takes a deep breath and starts the walk towards Maggie. She stops a few feet away from her.

"Hi," Alex says, unusually nervously.

Maggie turns to look at Alex with the same unreadable look on her face that she had when they parted last night.

"Hey, Danvers."

Alex stands there awkwardly for a few moments. "Can I sit?"

"Sure," Maggie says, sitting up a bit.

Alex dubiously takes a seat on the stool next to Maggie, making sure to leave an appropriate amount of space between them.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Maggie comments.

"Uh, yeah, well I couldn't sleep so I thought I might go visit the crime scene again with fewer people around," Alex realizes what that may have sounded like to Maggie. "I would've come and got you, but it was so early. I wasn't trying to leave you out or anything."

"It's okay, I didn't think that. I'm glad you let me sleep," Maggie says with a bit of a chuckle. It's been a while since Alex has heard that beautiful sound.

"Good. Anyway, I walked there, obviously since I didn't have the car keys. In the end, though, there wasn't to be found, unfortunately. They must have cleared everything they could and hid or destroyed anything they couldn't take."

"Of course, they did," Maggie says, exasperated

"So, I kept walking and then I realized I haven't had breakfast and came in here."

"Well, you chose the right place, the breakfast is great here."

"You've been here before?"

"Only a couple of times a week for three years while I was in high school," Maggie says, nonchalantly.

Alex looks over at her with curiosity.

The waitress, Cassie, asking her what she wants to order knocks Alex out of her thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. I haven't looked at the menu yet," Alex replies.

"That's okay," Cassie says. "I'll come back in a few minutes."

"Wait," Maggie says, out of nowhere. "Do you like pancakes?" Maggie asks, turning to Alex.

"Uh, yeah totally."

"The banana and blueberry pancakes here are great, you should try them. If you want," Maggie says that last part with a shrug, looking back down at her mug.

"That sounds great, thanks," she says both to the waitress and Maggie.

"No problem," Cassie says. "Coffee?"

"Yes please," Alex answers and she pours her a mug of black coffee just like Maggie's.

"So, what are you doing here?" Alex asks.

"Um," Maggie hesitates. "I wanted to visit my aunt before she left for work. I didn't get to see her last night and this story is unpredictable so who knows when I'll get to see her next so I thought I'd see her when I know I can."

First Ian, then the diner, now her aunt. Maggie must've grown up here. But she only mentioned coming to the diner for a few years. And living with her aunt? What happened to her parents? She realizes that she wants to know all of these things. She wishes she was in a position where she could.

Her perspective of Maggie was solely based off one event and she's treated her the same ever since. But she knows nothing about her, nothing real. She has a life outside of Alex, obviously. Except Alex never stopped to consider that, or even her side of the situation that sparked this hostility in the first place.

"How is she?" Alex asks, out of a lack of feeling like she's in a position where she can ask much else.

"She's good. She was happy to see me," Maggie says with a smile playing at the corner of her lips.

"That's good."

It gets awkward after that. They're not exactly used to sharing their lives with each other, more like trying to make the other's life a living hell. It's dangerous territory. It could be the potential for more ammunition to use against each other. It could be something that brings back the memories of that night and lead to more heartbreak for both of them. It could be the start of everlasting uncomfortableness if they never address what they are and what happened. They were just eternally stuck in between.

Alex thought they could just work on their column in passive hostility for as long as it lasted. That doesn't seem like a viable option anymore.

"Should we talk about our next course of action with the story?" Maggie asks.

"Yes, let's do that."

They go back to the hospital in an attempt to get any information from anybody, they're desperate at this point. With the help of a male nurse who was clearly just excited by the fact he had two beautiful women that wanted to talk to him, they were able to get a better description of the 'victims'.

Four boys, two aged seventeen, one eighteen and the other nineteen, all white. The nineteen-year-old and one of the seventeen-year-olds are brothers, the eighteen-year-old their cousin and the other one just a friend. The younger three are still in high school and the eldest one apparently has some manual labor job in town, nothing particularly impressive. Two of them got out with a concussion each and just a couple of cuts and bruises. One of them had a broken arm and the last one got some broken ribs and some pretty severe bruises. There's no doubting that it was an extreme incident.

More interestingly though, they seem to have a reputation around town. For vandalising, drug use, staying out late, bullying - basically anything you'd expect from young white guys with way too much ego. It would be pretty safe to assume these boys were not innocent bystanders in what happened. They weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time. The blindness caused by alien panic and the unending praise of young, white boys as innocent angels has clearly spun the story into something else.

They're in the hospital waiting room, eating food from a vending machine they found while they go over all the information they have, no matter how seemingly insignificant it is.

"Any alternate story we could come up with, and we could come up with one, would be based on speculation," Alex says. "That's not enough."

"I agree," Maggie replies, looking at her laptop with focus. "We have more time here; we have time to come across something else. You never know."

"Yeah," Alex says, zoning out while just looking at Maggie concentrating on her screen.

Maggie's phone rings an indeterminate amount of time later.

"Hello?" she says. "Ian! Hey, how are you?"

Ian. Hopefully, this is a good 'I have some intel for you' phone call and not an 'everything is confidential I couldn't get anything' phone call.

"I'm good. Would really love some good news from you though," Maggie says sceptically, looking up at Alex. "Really?" She continues with a smile. "Yeah, we'll be there. Thank you so much. See you then. Bye."

Maggie hangs up the phone.

"He says he has something to help us. He wants us to meet him at a park downtown to talk about it. Up for it?"

"Of course."

Chapter 6: chapter six

Summary:

Alex and Maggie have a breakthrough with the story and maybe even between the two of them as well.

Chapter Text

Maggie pulls up to the kerb, just a short walk from where Ian wanted to meet.

"Ian was always the reliable type. If he could get some info for us, he would," Maggie says, turning the engine off.

"Let's hope so," Alex replies while unbuckling herself.

They get out of the car and Maggie leads them, clearly knowing where she's going, to where Ian is sitting in civilian clothes at a picnic table.

"Ian, hi," Maggie says as they get closer, going in for a hug again as Ian stands.

"How's the story coming along?" Ian asks.

"Not as well as I hoped it would be, to be honest. But hopefully, you can change that?" Maggie asks, sceptically.

"I hope I can too."

"Thank god," Maggie says with a huge smile on her face.

"Here, come sit," Ian says indicating to the table behind him. "Hi, Alex."

"Hey Ian, thanks for helping us out."

"Anything for Maggie."

Maggie and Alex sit opposite Ian who has a few pieces of paper sitting on the table in front of him.

"So, what have you got for us?" Maggie asks.

"Well, I've got a species for you."

Both Alex and Maggie's faces light up with excitement. Finally getting somewhere.

"They're called Okaarans."

"Oh, I've heard of them," Alex says.

"They originate from a planet called Okaara, from the Vega star system. They have yellow skin and white hair, with ridged brows, porcine noses and two tusks that extend from their lower jaws but the body type of a human."

"How did you get all this information?" Maggie asks. "Surely towns like this don't have databases on aliens like the cities do."

"The department brought in an expert from Lincoln, she gave us all this information according to the descriptions from the victims," Ian says, pushing a small stack of papers across the table. "I got photocopies of it all. There's everything they have there; history, characteristics, known Earth presence. Your database back in National City might have more though, might be a good idea to check."

"That's a good idea. I'll give J'onn a call later and see what the paper has," Alex says.

"Anything of particular interest in there?" Maggie asks.

"Definitely. Their species was originally very peaceful until the arrival of the Psions who abducted and experimented on some of them. They then forced them to train for battle and changed their entire philosophy of peace and care to one of destruction and horror. Some who were against this were able to escape and that's how they became intergalactic refugees, some of them ending up on Earth."

"So, those who escaped would've just been trying to escape the new war clad nature of their planet, meaning they were most likely just seeking safety and peace," Alex says.

"Doesn't exactly sound like the kind of alien that would attack a group of young boys for the fun of it," Maggie continues, looking over at Alex.

They're thinking exactly the same thing.

"That was my thinking too," Ian adds. "Anyway, I'll leave you ladies with all of this," he says getting up from the picnic table. "Maggie, give me a call next time you come to town, we should catch up properly."

"Definitely."

"It was nice to meet you, Alex," he says, reaching out to shake her hand.

"You too," she says, accepting his hand.

Ian walks away, leaving Maggie and Alex to look over all the information he gave them. It's all really helpful information, enough to make a story out of for sure. But Alex has a feeling there's something more, that she could get further into what actually happened.

"I'm going to call J'onn, see what he knows," Alex says. "Do you want to do it on speakerphone with me?" Alex asks Maggie, something she probably wouldn't have even considered doing just yesterday.

"Yeah, sure," Maggie replies.

Alex takes out her phone, searching for J'onn's contact and pressing call.

"Hi, Alex," J'onn answers.

"Hi, J'onn, you're on speakerphone with Maggie and me."

"Oh, hi Maggie."

"Hey, J'onn."

"So, how's everything going? Have you been able to make any progress with the story?"

"As a matter of fact, we have," Alex says. "Turns out Maggie has a contact in the police department here and he was able to give us some information on the accused alien species. Have you ever heard of Okaarans?"

"Sounds a bit familiar," he replies.

"Do you think you could go on my computer and search through the collection I have? My login is on a post-it in the second desk drawer."

"Sure, give me a minute," J'onn says, putting them on hold.

"Do you think you'll have anything?" Maggie asks.

"Probably. There's a lot of species in there that I've collected over the years. There's sure to be at least something. Would you have anything? Like from when you were at your old job, did you keep a database?"

"I did and I was able to keep a copy after I quit. Well, more like snuck it out on a hard drive but that's neither here nor there," Maggie says with a bit of a smile. "But I doubt I would have much. I don't really recognise the species and if I did have anything and just forgot I doubt it would be more than what Ian gave us."

"Ladies, you still there?" J'onn voice comes back over the phone.

"Yeah, what could you find?" Maggie asks.

"You have a few pages of information that could help, should I email them to you both?"

"That would be great, thanks," Alex replies.

"There's also a map here of where they commonly settle."

"Oh, really?" Alex says. That wasn't in what Ian gave them. "Where does it say?"

"Well, there are a few maps. The world map puts them mostly here in the US. Then the map of the country has some in South Dakota, some in Arkansas but most in Nebraska. Then the map of Nebraska puts them in Valentine which is on the other side of the state from Beatrice where the incident happened."

Alex and Maggie look at each other with a look in their eyes of satisfaction that they are finally getting somewhere with this story. And they aren't done yet.

"That's something," Alex says.

"It sure is," Maggie responds.

"There should be some helpful stuff in there, I'll send it to you now," J'onn says.

"Thanks, J'onn," Alex says.

"Keep me posted on how everything goes. Remember, ideally the article will come out in exactly a week, next Thursday, like an article for your column usually would."

"No worries, J'onn. We'll keep you updated," Alex answers.

"Please do, talk to you soon," he says before ending the call.

"We really have gone from basically nothing to so much to work with," Maggie says, sounding a bit stunned.

"I haven't written a story this exciting in a while," Alex says.

"Neither have I," Maggie says, looking over at Alex. They share a moment of looking at each other, the dread of working together that they both had at this start of this trip now mostly being a thing of the past.

"We couldn't have done it without you though," Alex says, prompting a curious look from Maggie. "I mean with Ian, you having a contact in the police department was a great surprise bonus to this place," Alex adds awkwardly.

"Right. Yeah. Nice coincidence for sure."

They sit silently (and a little awkwardly) at the table looking through the papers and the emails that J'onn just sent them.

"How about we go to the library? We can use the wifi to do some research on Valentine and the Okaarans. Plus, we can photocopy this," Maggie says, indicating to Ian's research. "So that we can both have a copy. Try and figure out our next move."

"Sounds good to me," Alex says. "But can we go via a Starbucks or the Beatrice equivalent because I'm going into withdrawal."

Maggie laughs. "Sure, Danvers."

They stayed at the library for three hours until it closed, prompting them to go back to the diner they were at that morning to get some food and keep working. They sit at a booth this time rather than the bar, meaning that Alex has a pretty good view of Maggie who is sitting right across from her.

Maggie bites her bottom lip when she concentrates, Alex learns. And every five or so minutes she tilts her head, from side to side. You'd have to wonder how she doesn't get dizzy. She also learns that Maggie eats healthily but has a weakness for chocolate, or so she would assume from the garden salad she ordered and the fact she's onto her second chocolate milkshake. Although, Alex lets Maggie steal a few of her fries from her plate after she caught her eyeing them off so maybe she's not a health nut after all.

The fact that Alex is paying this close attention to Maggie isn't a good sign. It was easier when looking at Maggie meant being reminded of all the terrible things that have happened between them and she would end up looking away in frustration and anger. But now looking at Maggie seems to be more about discovering who she is now, and who she was separated from what took place between them. She's been stuck in the first mindset for so long, basically as long as she's known Maggie, so that changing so significantly now is something she's struggling to figure out how to handle.

"So, the drive to Valentine from here is about six hours," Maggie says, reciting their plan from an afternoon into a night of research. "We'll leave about midday after trying to get to the victims, if we can really call them that, in the morning one more time. Depending on traffic we'll get there at night, find some dinner and a hotel and start exploring the next day. Sound about right to you?"

"Yeah," Alex replies. "We might be hard up finding a hotel though. I mean, its population is less than 3000 which is more than three times lower than here. What if they don't even have a motel or anything?"

"I guess we'll sleep in the car if it comes to it. I've tried to look up something but there's not a lot on the town in general. I don't get the impression they're an overly Internet savvy town."

"So, you're saying no Four Seasons hotel with a complimentary breakfast buffet in the morning? I chose the wrong career, clearly."

That makes Maggie laugh, like really laugh. All her other laughs have been a couple of amused, breathy huffs. But this is like an actual laugh. It makes Alex smile as wide as humanly possible.

"Maybe not, Danvers. But the breakfast here today was pretty good, right?"

"It definitely was. I would've had a hard time resisting coming here for breakfast before school every morning that's for sure."

"It was tempting, I assure you," Maggie says with a big smile still on her face. "The tiramisu here is brilliant, you should try it. It's not as good as my aunt's but it's still worth it."

"Oh," Alex says. "Don't you want to go back to the rooms? We both were up pretty early, and we have a long day ahead tomorrow."

"Right, yeah, of course," Maggie says, her smile gone now. "That makes sense. Obviously, you want to go."

"Shit, that came out wrong," Alex says, backtracking after seeing Maggie's withdrawn reaction. "I just meant if you're tired, we can go home. I want to try the tiramisu, trust me."

Maggie gives a soft smile back, but Alex still misses the other one that made her heart jump.

"I know it's caffeine but I'm telling you it'll be worth it."

"Bring it on," Alex says, with a smirk.

Maggie calls over the waitress and orders two plates of tiramisu. They share a few jokes and Alex assumes they must know each other from her teenage years but she doesn't dare ask, it seems too personal for where they are right now.

While they eat, Maggie looks at Alex like she's examining her, assessing her. Alex feels nervous under her gaze. She wouldn't put it past Maggie to hold the same grudges and hurt that she has been for the past two years. Maggie would be totally justified to hold at least some resentment towards her after all the drama and bullshit Alex has put her through. It's not like there aren't wounds on Alex's end that she needs to work through but at this point, she's more inclined to work through them than justify keeping them. Maybe Maggie will want to do the same. One day.

"So," Maggie says. "What do you think?"

"You were right," Alex says. It actually is really good, Maggie's hype was well deserved.

"Told you so," Maggie says, with yet another tilt of her head. "Now we should probably go."

"Yeah, you're right," Alex agrees, even though a part of her doesn't want the easy-going nature of the night to end.

They start packing up the table, compiling their papers and putting their laptops back in their bags.

The waitress comes over with the check and Maggie immediately takes out her wallet to leave some cash on the table, holding her hand up to Alex when she starts to do the same.

"Wait, Maggie, you don't have to pay for both of us."

"It's fine, I was the one who made you get dessert anyway."

"But I had more than the tiramisu, don't be ridiculous," Alex says, opening her wallet in search for the appropriate amount of money.

"Consider it as me paying you back for my first day when you paid for lunch."

Alex considers it for a moment, pursing her lips in thought.

"Fine," Alex concludes, reluctantly.

"Good," Maggie says. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," Alex says, and they get in their car to head back to the hotel for a good night's sleep.

Chapter 7: chapter seven

Summary:

Alex and Maggie take a road trip to continue their investigation in another town and find themselves with plenty of time to start talking and becoming close to each other in more ways than one.

Chapter Text

Alex managed to sleep in for a bit longer this morning before meeting up with Maggie in the hotel's breakfast room. After both grabbing something to eat, they head off to the hospital for the third time in three days.

The victim's rooms are still bordered off and guarded by police, but the rumor is that their conditions are improving. There are also talks around the building about the boys signing a deal with FOX News to share the exclusives on their story. This development doesn't surprise Alex and Maggie in the slightest. The fact that these boys would want to drag out their fifteen minutes of fame contributes to their hunch that there's something else behind these events.

If Alex and Maggie's idea of what actually happens actually turns out to be correct or they can at least prove there's reasonable doubt to the story told by the boys, it might just ruin that exclusive and that would really be the cherry on top of all of this.

After a few hours, they head back to their hotel rooms to pack for the six-hour drive ahead of them. Stuck in such close proximity to Maggie for such a long time with the state that her mind is in is going to be interesting, to say the least. With the mask of hurt and hostility from the last two years starting to break as she gets to know Maggie more throughout this trip, she's starting to think that how she acted and the assumptions she made might not have been called for.

But, how do you say that to someone after all these years? Her memory about the events has definitely been selective over the years to favour the position she believed to be true. Now she just has to try and see what happened from Maggie's point of view. She's worried that this process won't exactly put her in a good light.

Alex finishes packing her things and leaves her hotel room to go check out. When she gets to reception, she can see Maggie through the glass doors to enter the building talking on the phone. The man at reception collects her key and goes through the rest of the administrative business while Alex watches Maggie. She seems emotional. Alex can't really tell if that's good emotional or bad emotional. She looks sincere, sombre even.

"Thanks for staying with us, come back soon," the receptionist says as Alex starts to leave.

Maggie has hung up by the time Alex reaches her.

"You ready?" Maggie asks.

"Yep," Alex replies simply and they both get in the car.

Before they head off to the highway, they go via a drive-thru for some lunch.

The ride is quiet between them, just the soft beat of the radio and the ruffling of paper as they eat their lunch. It's not like Alex expects them to get along like old buddies but she thought that maybe after how they got on yesterday that maybe they were getting on a little better now. But Alex can't shake the feeling that it feels a bit like Maggie isn't talking to her purposefully. She can't say that isn't a little disappointing.

A car changes into their lane, a little too close to them for comfort but not too close that it wasn't within reaction time, just forcing Maggie to have to put on the brakes a bit. This clearly doesn't sit right with Maggie because she beeps her horn and starts swearing at the driver knowing full well there's no way they can hear her.

"Sorry," Maggie says softly to Alex beside her.

"It's fine," Alex says, kind of uncomfortable. After a few seconds of deliberation, Alex asks, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just this guy's an idiot," Maggie says instantly.

Alex doesn't want to pry so she lets it go and the two of them go back to their silence.

About five minutes later, once Alex has started to totally invest herself in a game of solitaire, Maggie speaks up again.

"It's just… I haven't seen my aunt in so long and I barely got to see her now and I already have to leave. And it's not even like I planned this trip anyway, it was just a coincidence. I wish I could see her more that's all."

The vulnerability of Maggie at that moment is something that Alex never expected to see, especially after what they've been through. But even when they first met, Maggie was this big personality with bundles of confidence and empathy, never really seeming like the type to show herself and, especially, her soft side too often.

Alex doesn't know her family situation, yet another thing they never got to talk about. But there's something there that doesn't indicate a typical childhood. Maggie talks about her aunt like it was her that raised Maggie, or they have some kind of special relationship.

"I'm sorry, Maggie," Alex says. After all this time, you'd think being empathetic and caring towards Maggie would make her uncomfortable, but it doesn't. "I'm sure she misses you too. Hopefully, soon you can see each other properly and spend some real time together."

"Yeah," Maggie says, sadly. "Hopefully."

That conversation drops but they continue to talk about other things and the air in the car seems to lighten.

They've already taken a stop or two just to stretch their legs but about halfway through the journey, they swap so Alex is now driving. It's the first time Alex has driven during the entire trip, Maggie was the one to rent the car and she had kept the keys since. To be honest, it's nice being able to drive. It's one of the other things along with running that helps her to clear her head and she could really use some of that right about now.

Their casual conversation about nothing more exciting than the odd local sights they pass on the highway continues until they hit the peak hour traffic and the lull of the radio takes over as they barely move forward on their way to Valentine.

I'm in my bed
And you're not here
And there's no one to blame but the drinkandmy wandering hands

Alex looks over at Maggie as she stops for yet another time behind the car in front of her after moving just a few yards. Maggie must've taken off her boots at some point because she has her sock-clad foot visible from where her leg lies under the knee of the other leg which is settled on the floor of the car. Her hands rest in her lap and her leather jacket is rolled up against the window as a makeshift pillow for her head as she sleeps.

Forget what I said
It's not what I meant
And I can't take it back
I can't unpack the baggage you left

Alex wishes she could pull over the car to somewhere quiet, just so there's less chance any traffic noise could wake her up or Alex could put a blanket over her to keep her warm. It would also give her the opportunity to look at Maggie for a bit without having to keep up with the traffic. A chance to really notice how relaxed her face is when she's sleeping, how her hair drapes around her face in soft waves that look so effortless. She might notice how defined her jawline is and how softly her chest rises and falls as she breathes. She might come to realize how peaceful and beautiful Maggie looks and how she could never tire of learning new things about her body.

But, of course, she doesn't have the time to notice any of that. Or so she tells herself.

What am I now? What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'
What if I'm down? What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm fallin'

Alex swallows roughly and turns her head back to the car in front to wait for an opportunity to move forward but not before turning down the radio considerably.

It's almost eight o'clock by the time they get to Valentine. The roads are wide and the blocks which the houses occupy are larger than any you would see in the city. They drive around for a few minutes, in search of a hotel. By the time they find one, they are both exhausted and starving. Mustering all the energy they have left, they both get out of the car to head to the reception desk.

The middle-aged woman at the desk greets them as they come in. "Good evening. Welcome to the Valentine Inn, what can I help you with?"

"Hi," Maggie says, and Alex can hear the tiredness in her voice. "Are we able to book two single rooms for tonight?"

"Hmm," the woman hums sceptically as she flips through a notebook in front of her. "Just as I thought," she continues in her thick southern accent, looking back up at them. "We have a wedding party this weekend, and we don't have two single rooms available."

Both Maggie and Alex groan in frustration. All they want right now is a comfortable bed.

"Oh wait," the receptionist says. "We do have one room left with a queen bed. You girls are welcome to share that if you want. I used to share a bed with my girlfriends back in the day, have a little slumber party. There's a couch in the room."

Apart from having to swallow a groan about straight women using the term girlfriend for their platonic female friends, Alex hesitates and tries to slyly look over at Maggie who is clearly doing the same thing.

"Uhhh," Maggie stalls while the woman looks at them expectantly.

"I'll sleep on the couch, I don't mind," Alex says. "It's better than the car."

"I can sleep on the couch, it's no big deal," Maggie insists.

"Oh, it's okay you don't have to," Alex replies with more insistence.

Maggie smiles. "Either way," she says, turning to the receptionist. "We'll take it."

"Great. It'll just take about twenty minutes to set up the room and then it's all yours. Here are your keys," she says, passing them each a single key with a tag on it that reads 12. She collects their credit card information to pay for the room and wishes them a good stay.

With not much to do while they wait and being extremely hungry, they decide to take a stroll around town in search of some food. The idea of sleeping in the same room as Maggie is making Alex extremely nervous. That situation is way too vulnerable for her liking. Even though they'll probably end up on opposite sides of the room, she just knows she'll struggle to sleep properly simply due to the energy of the room.

There are no brand name fast-food restaurants around so their options for food are very limited, but they come across a dive bar and it seems like as good of a place as any.

It's got a dark and gloomy interior, with booths lining the walls and a bar straight in front of them as they walk in. There are a few more tables spread out in the middle as well as a couple of pool tables and a darts area off to the side. There aren't many people there, just a few guys that look like they're taking a load off after a day of driving a truck or doing construction.

Maggie walks in like she's seen her fair share of dive bars. She walks straight up to the bar and Alex follows not far behind. They take a seat and look over the menu's the cute bartender brings them. Alex notices Maggie's eyes linger on her a second longer than they normally would, and Alex feels a pang in her chest that she promptly dismisses as she looks her menu.

They order quickly, the sooner they order the sooner they get to eat and that really couldn't come soon enough.

"This town looks like a whole lot of nothing so far, if you ask me," Alex says as she takes a sip of her beer.

"That's probably part of its beauty," Maggie replies, putting down her own beer. "It looks like nothing on the outside, but it will surely have some kind of history that has kept it that way, that has kept it as small and inconspicuous as it is right now. Like what kind of town that has less than three thousand people living in it also has the highest population of an alien species? It's got something going on beneath it, I can feel it. I can't wait to figure out what it is."

The way Maggie's mind works enthrals Alex. Alex is a practical thinker, she trusts what she can see and what she knows to be true, she can't always look deeper than the surface like Maggie can. Maggie can see the 'why' behind what Alex sees; she can see how this dingy little town has the potential to harbor so much more. She can see how a story like this wouldn't just mean justice for the aliens in the firing line but could open up the possibility for the whole of society to see the myths and villainization of aliens that have been perpetuated by the world around them. It makes Alex wonder how Maggie saw the events between them those couple of years ago, what it really stemmed from and not just what Alex told herself it was about. Maybe Maggie doesn't look at her with the hostility and confusion that Alex always assumed she would. That would make a huge difference.

"Neither can I," Alex responds.

Their food arrives not long later, and they are too preoccupied with the promise of their long-awaited feed to keep talking.

They each order a third drink after they finish eating and just soak in all the events of the last few days. Alex imagines that Maggie is thinking over the case and about what they still have left to explore. Maybe she's wondering why Alex isn't treating her as badly as she usually would. She hopes that Maggie has noticed the shift because not only does she not want to be that person anymore, she ashamed of how she acted towards Maggie.

Maggie seems to be matching Alex's change of attitude but that makes Alex question if she really ever treated Alex with aggressive hostility in the first place. Maybe she would just defend herself or retaliate to Alex's onslaught. She feels a pang of guilt in her chest and starts to become very aware of her position next to Maggie. She feels like the one who ruined what they had so now it's her responsibility to make things better, if that's even possible at this point.

Maggie empties the last of her third beer into her mouth and Alex pretends not to notice the way her lips wrap around the rim of the bottle.

"I guess we should go then," Maggie says but she doesn't make an attempt to move just yet.

"Yeah," Alex replies, downing the rest of her drink and swivelling around on her barstool to take one last look around. "Or we could play a game of pool?" Alex hears herself say and instantly regrets how casual the invitation sounded, like how you would ask a friend.

"Really?" Maggie asks like she's as shocked about the question as Alex is.

"Uhh," Alex says, trying to figure out whether she should backtrack since Maggie clearly seems thrown by the idea or to keep with it in a show of comradery and more importantly a sign of surrender of their feud. "Maybe, I mean if you want. You probably just want to sleep it's been a long day. Stupid idea."

"No, it's not that," Maggie replies, still eyeing her curiously. "Doing something physical after sitting in a car all day sounds great. But," Maggie hesitates. "Do you really want to go up against me in something? You and I in competition is, well, not the most civil of interactions."

Once Alex draws her mind back from the other physical things Maggie and her could be doing, she starts to feel guilty about all the times they've butted heads the last few years in the name of competing against each other.

Alex doesn't really think this is the time to go through all the times she treated Maggie terribly over the last few years, so she decides to try and make the best of a bad situation, careful to not brush off Maggie's point.

"We don't have to keep score?" Alex awkwardly suggests.

Maggie smiles, letting out a breathy huff of a laugh. "Sure, Danvers. Let's do it."

Not without getting another drink each, they head over to one of the pool tables in the corner.

"Your suggestion. You can break," Maggie says.

Alex takes the first strike and pockets two striped balls.

"I've got myself into it now, haven't I?" Maggie says, surprised (and a bit impressed) by Alex's skill.

"No comment," Alex replies with an excited smile.

The end up playing about three games, Maggie wanting to keep going until she beats Alex at least once which she does in the end.

"I knew you weren't unbeatable," Maggie remarks with a victorious smile on her face and a hint of a slur in her words from all the alcohol.

"I let you win," Alex says, with the same slur.

"Bullshit. Alex Danvers? Letting someone win? No fucking way."

Alex scrunches up her face. "Okay fine. You beat me."

Alex would rather admit that Maggie finally beat her than pretend like she wanted to humor Maggie. Maggie genuinely beat Alex which she honestly wasn't expecting to happen judging from their first two games. If this had happened a few weeks ago, even a few days ago, Alex would have been livid at the idea of Maggie beating her at something, even something non-journalism related. But now she doesn't really give it a second thought, she's just enjoying spending time with Maggie that isn't complicated by the grudges of the past or the regrets she's been starting to have.

"Ha!" Maggie exclaims with a fist pump.

"You know I still have the best of three, right?" Alex says.

"You know you said you wouldn't keep score," Maggie retorts.

Alex ducks her head in acceptance. "Right. I did say that."

"Anyway, I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted and a bit tipsy," Maggie says, stretching her arms above her head. Alex definitely doesn't fail to notice the way her shirt rises up just slightly but just enough for Alex's cheeks to turn redder than they were because of the alcohol and look away with a conspicuous cough.

"Same here," Alex says. "Should we get going?"

"Sure," Maggie replies, and they hang up their pool sticks back on the wall and start the walk back to the motel.

It's a quiet trek navigating the dark and unfamiliar streets of Valentine, with only the clinking of their boots against the pavement to fill the silence. It's clear that they haven't yet settled into their new dynamic, or even sure if it's going to last. Clearly neither of them knows how to approach the subject so they just keep walking.

Maggie goes to reception to double-check that their room is ready. Meanwhile, Alex starts to unload their luggage from the car which has become considerably heavier after all the research they've been printing out the last few days.

Maggie comes back from the lobby to help Alex take their bags up to their room. Their single room. As in the room which turns out to be one open area with a small bathroom in a separate room to the side. Meaning that they will be sleeping in the same room, the bed only a yard away from the couch. Alex suddenly feels a whole lot more sober.

In theory, she knew this was going to happen, it's not like she's experienced short-term memory loss in the last few hours. Now that she's faced with it though, it's something completely different. Even though Alex has been trying to change the way she acts with Maggie, this is going from one to one hundred way too quickly. Alex has a feeling she isn't going to get much sleep tonight.

Maggie drops her bags on the floor but then pauses, probably going through the same dilemma Alex had just experienced.

"You take the bed," Alex says quickly.

"Alex-"

"Seriously. You drove us most of the way here and you had more to drink. You deserve the bed."

"Because I had a couple more beers than you, I get the bed? That doesn't make any sense, Alex. Plus, I'm," Maggie sighs. "It's a small couch and you're… tall, well taller than me. I should take the couch," Maggie says, rushing the words.

Alex face slowly breaks out into a smile. "Did you just admit to being short?"

"No," Maggie says, adamantly. "I said you're taller than me."

"So, by default, you're shorter than me."

"That's just a technically, Danvers," Maggie replies, starting to blush.

"This conversation has been enough of a prize for me already. Really, you take the couch." Before Maggie starts to argue, Alex continues. "But if it makes you feel better, we can alternate nights until we can get our own rooms."

Maggie contemplates the proposal for a second. "Fine," she concludes to Alex's relief. "But no more height comments."

Alex holds her hands up in innocence. "You got it, Sawyer."

Maggie walks further into the room, putting her duffle bag up on the bed and taking her laptop bag from over her shoulder and putting it next to it. Alex flops down onto the couch in exhaustion, letting her bags drop to the floor. She drops further into the couch than she expected to and comes in contact with the wooden beam in between the two sides of the couch. This isn't going to be a comfortable night, Alex thinks.

They take turns using the bathroom, both wanting a shower after the long day they've had. Maggie lets Alex go first, and she savours the feeling of the hot water hitting her skin. She lets the heat of the water and the steam consume her in an attempt to clear her mind, wanting the only thing she's able to feel to be the sensation of her skin turning increasingly red from the water temperature.

As much as she wishes she could stay in there forever, she doesn't want Maggie to not have any hot water left and since she doesn't know the amount of time she actually could have in there without using it all, she decides not to risk it.

If she was at home (or even in her own hotel room), Alex would take the time to blow dry her hair and moisturise or shave, but not tonight. She just quickly dries herself, throws on some clothes (she made sure to look for something she could sleep in but was appropriate enough to been seen wearing in front of Maggie, settling on a pair of leggings and a loose-fitting top), brushes her hair and then brushes her teeth.

When she exits the room, Maggie is sitting against the headboard of the bed, smiling at something on her phone.

"All yours," Alex says to Maggie.

Maggie looks up at Alex but takes a second to react. In the span of just a couple of seconds, Maggie looks Alex up and down, her eyes stopping every now and again as her gaze rises higher. She reaches Alex's eyes and quickly looks back down at her phone but now biting her lip.

Maggie clears her throat before replying, "okay, thanks." Maggie gathers up her things and speeds into the bathroom before another word can be said.

Alex stands still where she is for a few minutes. Sure, it's not the first time Maggie has looked her up and down vein but it's usually in a smug, cocky, 'you don't have any effect on me I'm just trying to get a rise out of you' way. But that did not seem like an indifferent, show-off way of checking her out. It looked like she was actually…

Alex shakes her head in a will to rid the thoughts away. She doesn't want to go back to that place. Right now, she has to focus on trying to build their relationship back up to a point where they can at least work together with some civility. Or if she really stretched it maybe they could even be friends. But nothing else. That's not what she wants.

Like a hypocrite, Alex looks at Maggie exactly the same way when she emerges from the bathroom. Her hair, still damp, is put up in a bun with some loose strands framing her face. Not that she usually wears much makeup each day but even without, she looks beautiful. She's wearing plaid patterned shorts that show off her toned, tan thighs along with a black t-shirt that reads Bare Naked Ladies using the elements of the periodic table.

If only Alex knew how deep her feelings were at this moment.

Alex swallows in an attempt to bring some moisture back to her extremely dry mouth. "Bare Naked Ladies, huh?" Alex says, indicating to Maggie's shirt.

"Oh," Maggie says. "Yeah. You a fan?" Maggie asks.

"Yeah, since college."

"Me too," Maggie says excitedly. "I went to one of their concerts senior year of high school."

"No way. How was it?" Alex asks, excitedly.

"I bet it was amazing." "It really was. Have you ever seen them live?"

"Nope. I almost got to go in high school but then," Alex hesitates. "Then my dad died and everything got messed up and I haven't been able to go see them since."

Maggie sits down at the end of the bed. "I'm sorry, Alex."

Alex shrugs. "It's fine," Alex replies. After years of saying it, you'd think it would actually start to feel that way but it hasn't really got any better, just easier to ignore.

"They're still around. Maybe you'll get to go see them eventually, you never know," Maggie says, with a soft smile.

"Maybe."

Maggie puts her things from the shower back in her bag and sits back on the bed and they fall into an awkward silence.

"You're sure about the bed?" Maggie asks.

"Yes," Alex says in a mock annoyed voice. "I might need to steal a blanket though."

"Right, duh," Maggie says.

She bundles up one of the blankets left at the end of the bed and passes it over to Alex who repositions all the cushions to make a pillow and lays the blanket on top.

"Should I turn the light off?" Alex asks.

"Yeah sure, go for it. If you want." Alex nods and walks over to the light switch that's next to the door to come into the room.

The walk back to her makeshift bed in the pitch black is a bit of a struggle but, luckily, she doesn't trip on anything. As she lifts up the blanket to get under it, Alex can hear Maggie doing the same.

Alex tries to position herself so she's lying comfortably but gives up and settles in a tolerable spot. Although a few seconds later she kind of wishes she still had the distraction because the uncomfortable silence of the dark room is deafening.

"Well, this is awkward," Maggie says.

"You got that right," Alex says with a bit of laugh and soon enough they are both laughing, massively relieving the tension.

Alex doesn't really know how they got to this place. Like, sure, it's awkward having to share a room with each other but it's still light. If she was told two weeks ago that she would be sharing a hotel room with Maggie and they were being completely friendly and civil and even possibly having a good time, she would have never believed it.

It makes her wonder what she and Maggie could be if they had started acting like this sooner, if Alex had given up on this feud or not even started it in the first place. Would it have worked out like it has now, or was it too soon? Would they be friends? Would they be more?

"Goodnight, Maggie," Alex says, hoping that Maggie is thinking the same thing she is.

"Goodnight, Alex."

After that, it didn't take either of them very long to fall asleep but only an hour or two later Alex is back awake again with a terrible pain in her back. She's been curled up to fit on the short couch and, on top of that, she's had the wooden beams of the couch sticking into her back.

When she tries to move, she groans in pain before she remembers that she's not alone in the room. Alex stills for a few seconds, waiting to see if she's awoken Maggie. Once the coast is clear, Alex tries to sit up but it's not as easy as it sounds. There's no way she's getting any sleep on this couch.

In her exhausted state, she basically rolls to the ground with a thud, bringing her blanket and pillows with her. It feels like she's just got back to sleep when she's waking up in pain again. But this time it feels like she's being kicked in the ribs.

Wait. That's because she is being kicked in the ribs.

"Why are you on the floor?" Maggie asks in a loud whisper, but it takes Alex a few seconds to register what's happening.

"The couch," Alex groans, rubbing her eyes. "Too uncomfortable."

Maggie sighs. "Get up," she says, walking back to the bad.

"What?"

"Get up and sleep here," Maggie reiterates.

"But," Alex starts, not really sure how to finish the sentence.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't sleep on the floor."

Alex hesitates. "Are you sure?" she asks, not really sure whether it's a good idea.

"Alex. I'm not letting you sleep on the floor."

Alex takes a deep breath. After a few seconds, she gets up, leaving behind the blanket but taking her pillows with her. Maggie is laying on her side on one side of the bed, so Alex goes around to the other side and stands there awkwardly.

"Alex."

"Okay, okay."

Alex is lifting up the blankets of the empty side of the bed when Maggie starts talking again.

"If you're uncomfortable you don't have to. But you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor while I sleep in the bed. That's not fair."

"It's okay. Honestly, a bed sounds great, I'm exhausted."

"Okay, good."

Alex continues lifting the covers and lays down next to Maggie. She lets out a sigh and sinks down immediately like she had forgotten just how comfortable a mattress could be.

Maggie says something else much quieter than the rest of their conversation.

"Let's just sleep. Tonight."

Alex doesn't answer. She knows she's going to probably going to have a lot more thoughts about this tomorrow morning but now her only one is how tired she is.

Chapter 8: chapter eight

Summary:

Alex and Maggie make huge developments with their article and Alex makes a decision to face the past.

Notes:

Hi! I just want to thank everybody for their positive feedback and encouragement about this fic. I was having trouble finding the motivation to continue, I just started a new job and the state of the world is a bit exhausting at the moment. I am excited to keep working on it, I have about two chapters of writing to go and about half of the fic left to edit and upload. Thank you to everybody who has commented and let me know their thoughts on the fic, I really appreciate the support and I'm glad you're enjoying it :)

I hope you like this chapter, it's a bit of a long one. Prepare for a flashback next chapter...

Chapter Text

In their drunken state, neither Alex nor Maggie had thought to close the curtains and as a result, Alex is rudely awakened by the sun shining directly into her eyes. The drastic change in light makes Alex instinctively open her eyes but she instantly realizes what a mistake that is and her eyes are forced shut again from the brightness. She moves to put her head into the pillow to block out as much light as possible but it's then that she realizes that she's not alone in the bed.

The events of the night before slowly start coming back to her. Playing pool and not once having an argument or trace of unsportsmanlike competition. Sharing a hotel room. Sharing a bathroom. Insisting Maggie take the bed. The discovery that the couch was just a torture device disguised as an innocent piece of furniture. Finding an ounce of solace by settling on the floor instead. Being kicked in the side until she got up into bed. The same bed that Maggie is sleeping in.

This realization came to her thanks to the resistance she felt when she tried to move, soon discovering her arm trapped between Maggie's stomach and the mattress. She opens her eyes just slightly, now having adjusted enough to the light, in order to look at her predicament.

The blankets are still up over their shoulders, Nebraska proving to be as cold as expected. Maggie is lying on her front, her face turned towards the entrance to the room so Alex can only see the back of her head.

Her hair cascades down to the pillow under her, also covering a large expanse of her back that's already covered by her t-shirt. It looks soft, Alex thinks. She gets the urge to reach out and run her hand through it.

Before she can continue thinking about any of that, she needs to free her arm which she has lost basically all feeling in. She positions herself up on her other elbow for leverage and slowly pulls her hand out from underneath Maggie. Her shirt pulls along with Alex's hand causing it to rise up and expose a bit of Maggie's side. Once she finally gets it free, the velocity causes her to fall onto her back but not hard enough to rock the bed.

She sighs and lays there, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes contemplating how much has changed in the last few days between her and Maggie as well as within herself. Even how much has changed in her life since she met Maggie. How she made her question everything and how her life completely shifted directions since Maggie arrived. How good she could've had it if she didn't go and ruin everything. If the timing hadn't been so terrible.

If them lying together in this bed had been on completely different terms. Better terms. Wonderful terms.

She wants to roll over and embrace Maggie like she could've if the stars had aligned. If she wasn't so self-destructive.

She finally looks back over at Maggie who's still sleeping peacefully. Even though Alex can't see her face, she just knows that she would look beautiful at this moment. Maybe it's better that she can't see her face.

Nevertheless, Alex still feels a rush of guilt. Does Maggie blame her? Does she feel guilty too? Does she even think about it? Probably not. Why would Maggie care after all Alex did to hurt her?

Alex feels tears starting to prick in the corners of her eyes, so she carefully gets out of the bed as to not wake Maggie and goes to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She takes a deep breath as she closes the lid of the toilet to sit on top of it. Her head drops to her hands with her elbows propped up on her knees.

She's careful to be quiet, forcing herself to calm down and breathe deeply. They were never anything together. Not really. Nothing a normal person would call important. But, in all honesty, Alex has never been able to get over it

Alex has dated a handful of women now but part of her thinks that subconsciously she's compared them to Maggie. And her and Maggie didn't even date. The tears falling down her cheeks are interrupted by a soft and quiet laugh at how absolutely stupid that is. Why couldn't she just be honest with herself?

She wonders if the effect on Maggie from all this is as devastating as it has been on her. Alex doubts it. Maggie is a much stronger person than she is as the last few days can demonstrate.

Either way, Alex can't continue like this. She doesn't want to have to run off to the bathroom to cry when she thinks about the guilt and repressed heartbreak she feels. Something needs to change, for both of them.

Alex takes a final deep breath and gets up to look in the mirror to see the state of her eyes. It's not too bad as far as she can tell but it's difficult to remember what your face looks like sans puffiness when just when you need to the most.

She waits a few minutes, just to have a few moments to herself before she has to put back on the facade that she's okay. It's supposed to just be another day in their investigation and that's what she has to make sure it is, for Maggie at least.

When she exits the bathroom, she finds Maggie now awake, sitting up against the headboard and scrolling through her phone.

"Hello sunshine," Maggie says, looking up at her. "You got up early."

Alex's heart skips at the nickname.

"Yeah," she stutters. "The sun was shining directly into my eyes."

"Damn."

"You didn't sleep in much longer than me though."

"Yeah," Maggie says. "Got a bit warm I guess," she shrugs and turns back to her phone. "Should we talk about the fact that I almost tripped over you sleeping on the floor on my way to the bathroom?"

"You would not believe how uncomfortable that couch is, I swear to god," Alex rants and Maggie starts to laugh. "I'm convinced that the person that made this couch did it on purpose just to fuck with people. Like why else would they make such an uncomfortable set of wooden beams disguised as a couch? And should we talk about the fact that you kicked me as a way to get me up? I'm in pain a little respect would be nice, Sawyer."

"You done?" Maggie asks with an amused smile on her face.

Alex slowly exhales, "yes."

"First of all, yes, I'm confident the couch manufacturer has a personal vendetta against you. It's probably because you're too tall for their couches and this is the punishment. And kicking seemed like an effective method of communication, plus a little bit of fun."

"Oh, ha, ha," Alex says, mock laughing. "Fun for you, not for me."

"That's the most important type of fun."

Alex gives her a look of annoyance but there's an undertone of lightness to their whole conversation and boy is it a welcome change their conversations from the last few years.

"So," Alex says, sitting down on the end of the bed. "What should the plan for today be?"

"Scope out the town? See what we can find. I think that will help to lead us where we need to go. Take our research with us and let it lead us."

"Sounds good to me."

They both get changed, collect everything they think they might need and leave the room in search of somewhere to eat breakfast. However, they decide to stop off by the reception desk of their motel first, thinking anyone that works there should probably have a pretty good understanding of the town and hopefully willing to share some of their local insights.

"Good morning you two!" the same receptionist as last night says in a cheery southern accent. She couldn't be older than her mid-twenties, with her blonde hair done up in a bun on the top of her head and a heavy layer of makeup. "How was your night?"

Alex looks over at Maggie who gives a polite smile (that doesn't look completely genuine) to the receptionist. "Good, thanks."

Well, I had to sleep on a tiny couch, then the floor and then in the bed of a woman I may still have feelings for; would be Alex's answer, but she would never dare say it.

Anyway, the bed was comfortable, it's not like those rooms are designed for two people that aren't going to be sharing a bed.

"I'm happy to hear it," the receptionist (whose name is Piper, according to her name badge) replies with the same enthusiastic smile. "What are your plans for today?"

"We were actually hoping you could help us out with that," Alex says. "We're just visiting, not really sure of what there is to do or the history of the town. Anything we should know?"

Alex decides to keep it vague at first. They could be really resistant to outsiders or hostile to the subject of aliens, there's no way to know. Better to get an idea of where Piper and the town stand before they jump into wanting to know all the deep and dark secrets.

Her extra caution may not have been needed if Piper's enthusiasm is any indication.

"This town is full of such interesting history! Everywhere you go and everyone you meet, especially the old folk, have a story. Most of them are supernatural, you know; aliens, spirits, extra-terrestrial objects, strange and unexplainable things you couldn't even imagine."

Alex and Maggie look at each other. It's starting to look hopeful that they might have something here, something good.

"Like that incident that happened out in Beatrice? With the aliens and those boys?" Alex asks.

"We haven't had anything like that. Not in a long time, anyway. The aliens here just keep to themselves really but when they do come into town, they don't make any trouble for anyone. We're all used to it."

"So, you live with the aliens?" Alex asks. "Side by side?"

"Yeah, kind of. They tend to live in a section on the east side of town but they're in no way isolated to there. Where are y'all from? Is it not like that there?"

"We both live in National City now," Alex says. "We do get aliens all over the city but it's not always the mutual respect that it seems to be like here."

"We're just used to it, I suppose. Ever since I was a kid, there have been aliens or back then just people who looked different but there wasn't any hate there, at least not by the people around me."

"Does the town not get attention from the FBI or anything?" Maggie asks.

"Apparently there was, back in the day. There wasn't any trouble being caused, we must've just fell under their radar."

There was nothing in the newspaper's records or in any of the research that they did that would indicate any violence or altercations or even the need for an investigation. Seemingly, aliens just popped up in this town and when alien-related incidents starting occurring all across the country to more hostile and dangerous results, that must have drawn the attention away from Valentine to the point that they can now live like any other US citizen.

"Is it just the one alien species here, or is there a few?" Maggie asks.

"Just the one."

They both stop and think. What do they do with this information? Where do they go with it? What happened to make it so a town like this could even exist?

"Do you know how this relationship came about between this town and the aliens?" Maggie asks.

"Well, all I know is back when they arrived, the mayor at the time, Tim Baker, struck up some kind of deal and made it so they were welcome. Wasn't easy but eventually, most people got on board and they weren't run out of town. Those that didn't like it called the cops and that's what got the FBI here. When they left so did the people that had an issue or at least the ones that were vocal about it."

"Any idea where we can find this mayor?" Alex asks.

"What for?" Piper says, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion.

Usually, when you say you're a journalist, people tend to get reluctant. Alex gets the feeling that they'll get this reaction from Piper, especially considering she's been telling them things that she potentially wouldn't have if she knew who they are. Of course, Alex and Maggie's intentions are good but that doesn't mean the people of this town will believe them or want this information out to the public, regardless of intention. Judging by the look on Maggie's face, she agrees. Lying to someone you're interviewing about who you are isn't exactly ethical but sometimes necessary. In a small town like this though, where they'll have to be honest eventually, it probably isn't a good idea to tell two different stories about who they are.

"We're…" Alex says. "Writers. We're working on a piece about alien rights and what you've told us would be a great edition."

"And being able to talk to the mayor that was here when the aliens first arrived would be an amazing insight," Maggie adds.

It's not the whole truth but it's not untrue either.

Piper looks at them, sceptically. "Y'know a lot of us here in town have been trying to convince Mayor Baker for years to put down what happened in writing so we can have it entered into the official history of the town, but it's never happened. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to make that happen."

Alex lets out a sigh of relief and so does Maggie beside her.

"We'd love to help with that."

"Great!" Piper replies with her ever so enthusiastic smile. "You'll probably find him at his farm," she says, getting a post-it note and pen to write down the address. "There's also a local museum there where his son works, he could probably take you to him. Plus, you might be able to find something in the collection that could add to your writing."

"Thank you," Maggie says, taking the paper being given to her from Piper. "You've been a great help."

The drive up to the farm is a long dirt road with paddocks on either side, some with cows or horses and some without. There's a sign at what they assume must be the entrance to the farm that reads LOCAL VALENTINE MUSEUM IN 300 YARDS as well as some opening times (thankfully it's open on a Monday) and an arrow indicating for them to turn to the right.

After the turn, the view of the museum is clear and it's not much more of a drive before they're there. A bit further up, Alex can see a gate blocking the road from continuing all the way up to the house in the far distance. The museum is located on a small block of land, cutting into the paddocks on the left side of the road, accompanied by enough room for a small parking lot. From the outside, it looks like a small room separated from a larger building, about the size of a gas station building. There mustn't be too much town memorabilia to display as it's not very big. It looks as though it's been well maintained over the years though. The door is a dark green, in contrast to the dark wood panels that line the exterior of the building. There are two display windows on the front exterior wall, but Alex can't quite make out anything in them just yet.

Maggie parks in the makeshift parking lot outside the museum, dirt big enough for maybe three or four cars at a time.

"What should we say?" Alex asks Maggie as they undo their seatbelts.

"I think that our first priority should be to get to the mayor. If we have to censor the truth a little bit to his son then maybe we should."

"What if we don't get time alone with him to talk about our true intentions? It's going to come out and the son is going to think that we lied to him."

"We could write the cover," Maggie suggests.

"As in?"

"As in we write the profile on the town. If what Piper told us is true, there would be plenty to say and plenty we still don't know. It would be easy to make an article out of this even if it isn't connected to the events in Beatrice. So, we wouldn't even be part lying when we tell them we want to do a profile on the town. We can say who we are, that we're with the National City, our alien column, all of it. Then hopefully we can transition into the investigation over in Beatrice and the connection. Hopefully, the son doesn't enquire further than the first story. It's a bit sneaky but it might just get us in."

"That's clever. It might just work," Alex says, smiling at Maggie.

"I think so. Hopefully," she adds.

They get out of the car and head towards the door. There's a sign in the window that reads 'open', so they go right in.

At a glance, there are some old black and white photos hanging on the walls, some framed pieces of writing which on closer inspection are some old town charters, and some agricultural items in glass boxes for display. It's a little darker than you'd expect when wanting to put things on display and it seems a little dusty but it's still a pretty impressive collection.

The door closes behind them, alerting the man behind the desk of their presence.

"Good morning!" the man says to them cheerfully. He looks like he's in his fifties, with a short beard and wearing a blue button-up shirt and blue jeans. He must be the mayor's son. "Let me know if you have any questions."

"Thanks," Maggie replies.

They take a few minutes to look around, Piper did say they might be able to find something relevant to them in the museum so they might as well have a look around while they're there. Plus, they don't want it to look like they only came here to get to the ex-mayor.

The only alien-related item that they find is a photo album of sorts, with newspaper clippings from the last few decades about the alien activity from the town. There's only about a dozen or so and they don't seem to explain why or how the relationship with the aliens in this town came to be. The articles tell of some of the developments and strives towards inclusion such as benefits employers would receive from the local council for hiring aliens, the establishment of a law office and medical centre which is run by and specifically for the Okaarans, specific laws of anti-discrimination to protect alien rights.

It strikes Alex just how forward-thinking this town has been. From what they know now, it seems like this town is the perfect example of living in peace with aliens. She's just itching to know how this could have come about. And she just knows Maggie is as well.

Maggie takes her phone out and takes a photo of each of the columns and looks at Alex, nodding in agreement that it's time to talk to the shop clerk. He's still behind the counter, doing something on the old box-like computer.

"Very interesting museum," Alex says, as they walk up to him.

"I'm glad you think so," he replies with a smile. "How long are you two in town for?"

"Not sure," Maggie says. "We were actually doing some research. Maybe you could help us?"

He looks at them interested but a bit unsure.

"Research about what?"

"We're planning on doing an article about the history of aliens in America and we've heard this town has a pretty interesting and unique history," Maggie explains

"What's the article for?"

"We work for the National City Times and are the writers for an article called Aliens of National City," Alex says.

"But we like to explore aliens broadly," Maggie adds. "From what we've heard about this town and how it has embraced and valued aliens for as long as it has, it is something to admire. I wish that National City could adopt some of the initiatives I've heard here. I wish every town would for a matter of fact. Anyway, we'd love to learn more, and we've heard that ex-mayor Tim Baker might be the one to talk to and that he might be here."

He continues to look at them with scepticism.

After a long pause, he says, "you have to understand, this town has a lot of people interested in our alien population and that's hardly ever a good thing. And we, especially myself, value this aspect of our town and don't want to see it exploited."

"And we don't want that to happen either," Alex says. "If there are privacy issues and you don't think the town would want the publicity or attention that might come with the article then we can find a way around that. But what you have here is special and important and people should know about it because this country needs an example of how humans and aliens can live harmoniously together."

He considers it, looking between the two of them.

"Ex-mayor Baker is my father. I'll take you to see him when I close up the museum at midday. Does that suit you?"

"Yes," Maggie says. "That would be fantastic."

"I can't make any promises, he might not want to speak with you."

"Of course, we totally understand," Alex replies. She looks at her watch and they have about an hour to kill before he closes the museum. "My name is Alex, by the way. And this is Maggie," she says, indicating to Maggie beside her.

"My name is Jason Baker. Nice to meet you," he says, holding out his hand to shake both of theirs.

"You too," Maggie says. "See you back here in about an hour?"

"See you then."

Alex and Maggie leave the museum to go to their car.

"What do you wanna do? It's only an hour, we could just wait?" Maggie asks.

"Sure," Alex says. "Let's do that."

"I'm going to make a call, I'll be back."

Maggie walks away, out of earshot, but it doesn't stop Alex from watching her. It must be a happy conversation because Maggie is smiling at whatever that person on the other end is saying to her.

Surely this trip isn't the time or the place to bring up the topic of a few years ago but on the other hand, maybe the sooner they talk about it and get it all out in the open, the sooner they can stop trying to avoid the elephant in the room that is their past. Alex honestly doesn't know what she's going to do.

Maggie comes back and they go over how they are going to approach their meeting with the ex-mayor. Their plan is basically the same as it was for the son but with a little more honestly about their real reason for being here, the incident in Beatrice. There's not really a lot else they can do so they wait, nervously. Somehow though, just knowing Maggie will have her back helps Alex to relax.

They follow Jason's car up a winding dirt road to a fair-sized house. He leads them through the house, leaving them in the living room to go find his father. Alex and Maggie sit awkwardly on one of the floral couches in the room, facing the fireplace. It's exactly the kind of house you'd expect an elderly man from Nebraska to have. The decor is quite old and dark, with football paraphernalia covering the walls. There are also quite a few pictures of his family and some of his mayoral achievements.

They wait for quite a few minutes, presumably while Jason convinces his father to talk to them. Thankfully, he must have been successful because Jason re-enters the room with an older man in toe, one that Alex recognises from the photos around the room and many of the articles from the book in the museum. He and Jason take a seat opposite Alex and Maggie.

"Dad, this is Alex and Maggie," Jason says, indicating to each of them. "And this is Tim Baker."

"Very nice to meet you," Maggie says. "We've heard great things about the town, and your work while you were the mayor."

"I'm glad to hear it. It's a great town if I do say so myself," Tim says with a grin on his face. He seems like a nice man and Alex is relieved to say the least. "What can I help you with?"

"Well," Alex starts, not really sure how she's going to continue or what's she's going to focus on first. "We were hoping we could talk to you about your experience with aliens in this town. We've been doing a lot of reading about your town and your time in office as well as looking around that great little museum you have down there and from what we can tell you were an amazing advocate for aliens and their rights. It's truly admirable."

"Thank you," he replies. "I have to say though, I don't tend to speak on those matters. Jason told me you were journalists as well."

"We are," Maggie says. "But we're not looking to draw any negative attention or in fact any attention towards the town if that's something you're worried about. We're from National City, we do a weekly article at the National City Times about the true nature of aliens, trying to educate the public and garner a safer society for us all to live in. We would love to do an article on the lessons we could learn from your town from so many years ago, and today as well."

Maggie looks over at Alex like she's looking for reassurance. Alex knows exactly what's she's referring to and gives her a small nod.

"In all honesty, we were sent here by our editor to investigate the incident in Beatrice," Maggie continues. "Through our work there we found out about this town and the Okaaran population here. We are fairly certain the Okaarans that police suspect of hurting those boys aren't guilty and we are set on proving it. But for that, we need your help. We'd love to know more about them and their history with this town. If we were able to talk to some of them as well using the connections you or this town have with them, that would be amazing. I'm sorry if this comes across strong or ignorant but I," Maggie hesitates, "both of us, really want to expose the unfair justice system for aliens in this country and we need your help to do it. This is a big moment for alien rights in this country and I don't just want to let it pass by without doing something to fight for some fairness and equality for those who need it most."

Maggie lets out a breath after her speech. Alex is amazed at just how articulate and passionate Maggie was. It's not a shock, Alex has always known those qualities about her, even from the night they met. But seeing her in action is enthralling.

Tim looks at them curiously and silently.

"You two didn't tell me that's what you were here for," Jason says, his voice on the verge of anger.

"That's part of it, yes," Alex says. "But once we heard about this town, we were desperate to know more. Not just so we could explore what happened on the other side of the state but from what we already know about this town, it could be the perfect example of aliens and humans living in harmony and I think that deserves to be known. Other aliens deserve to know a life of peace is possible in America and Americans should know that it is their responsibility to make that happen."

Tim looks at them with an intense stare like he's cautiously considering what Alex and Maggie are asking of him and, by extension, his entire town whom he has to speak on behalf of.

"About forty years ago, we had started to hear rumours around the town that there were immigrants setting up on the outskirts of town," Tim says and both Alex and Maggie let out a relieved sigh and settle in for the rest of what will hopefully be just the story they're looking for. Just the story that will answer all of their questions. Alex quickly takes a notebook out of her bag to take notes.

"We wanted to calm the people in the town, assure them that there was nothing to worry about or be scared of. So that's exactly what we told them, that they had no reason to be concerned. But we didn't know that for sure. We sent our town sheriff out there to have a look, but he came back empty-handed so we thought there really was nothing to worry about.

"Until one night, I saw them with my own eyes. This one," he says, indicating to his son next to him, "when he was ten years old decided it was a good idea to run away for some stupid reason I can't even remember now. We got a few people together: the sheriff, my wife, myself, a few neighbours; and we went looking. I was out searching by the train line when I found him walking along the track, bag on his back like he was actually going to get on a train to Hollywood or something.

"It's important to note that back in those days, there were no cochlear implants and the hearing aids on offer weren't the best."

Alex looks up to Tim and sure enough, he's got a cochlear implant on his ear, wrapping around to the back of his head. She looks over at Maggie who has the same expression on her face. How did neither of them notice that?

"They especially don't work if they aren't charged. So unbeknownst to Jason, a train was coming along the tracks from behind him. I ran, I yelled, I tried to get there in time but there was no way I could. I was just too far away. But like a gift from God, someone ran out of the bushes closer to him, diving and pushing him to the other side of the tracks. I waited in agony as the train went by so I could see if he was okay. When the train passed, Jason was there, scared out his mind. But there was an alien there too. I'd never seen anything like it, yellow skin, the shape of his face.

"Before I could thank him or talk to him, he ran off. A few days later, I couldn't get his selflessness out of my head. He saved my son's life, I needed to thank him. So, I went out on my own and it took a lot of work, but I found them and got talking with them and realized that they just wanted a safe place to live. And after even more work and education and consultation, I got the council on board and then we got the town on board. And here we are now."

"That's amazing," Maggie says with awe in her voice.

"Truly," Alex concurs.

"How did you keep the feds away? How did they find out?" Maggie asks.

"Well, we weren't one hundred percent successful in convincing every one of the good intentions of the Okaarans, some people weren't convinced that they were going to be safe. We assume that's how the feds got involved. We would do our best to create diversions and hide them and protest their innocence. It didn't always work but we did our best. After a few years, they started to leave us alone as everyone got used to them being a part of our town and the feds got fed up with making trips for nothing when they saw the majority of people in the town had no concerns."

"That's such an incredible story," Alex says.

"It really is. It's so admirable and it's great to hear what genuine effort went into accepting these people into your town," Maggie says, almost speechless.

"The Okaarans sound like a peaceful species. Do you think there's any way that they could've been behind the attack in Beatrice?" Alex asks.

"I would bet my life on the fact that it wasn't an Okaaran that did that. Or if it was one then they were forced or coerced into it somehow," Tim replies.

"We were thinking the same thing," Maggie says. "It could have been self-defence."

"Do you think you could help us get in contact with the Okaarans?" Alex asks. "We just want to help clear their names."

Tim looks at them sceptically.

"We've spent a long time trying to protect them from exposure. Surely you can understand my hesitation."

"Of course," Alex says.

"We understand, we really do," says Maggie. "But I worry about what will happen if we don't do anything."

The ex-mayor looks between them for a few seconds.

"Let me think about it," he concludes. "I'll get back to you in the morning."

"Of course," Maggie says. "Thank you for the time you've already given us. We really appreciate it."

"Yes, thank you," Alex concurs.

Alex and Maggie shake hands with the Baker's after Maggie gets Jason's phone number. Alex and Maggie head back to their car, both releasing a sigh when they close the doors.

"That was…" Alex trails off.

"Yeah," Maggie concurs.

"I didn't expect a story like that."

"I don't know what I expected."

"There's no way an Okaaran hurt those boys for no reason."

"Definitely," Maggie says looking over at Alex, holding her gaze for a few more seconds than usual. Maggie takes a sharp inhale, turning back to the wheel in front of her. "I guess we go back to the hotel room and wait. Write up those notes you were writing. Although you might need to do that by yourself because you have just about the worst handwriting I've ever seen, there's no way I can read," Maggie says with a bit of a chuckle.

"Hey!" Alex says in offence. "It's called shorthand. And at least I took notes, you've only got your memory to rely on."

"My memory has a little bit of help," Maggie says with a smirk, holding up her phone on the voice recorder app.

Alex mock gasps. "That's not very ethical of you, Sawyer. You're supposed to ask before you do that."

"They saw you taking notes and didn't ask you to stop. Let's just say you have really good shorthand."

"Which I do."

"Sure, you do," Maggie says through a doubtful squint and a hint of a smile.

They had a late lunch at another diner they find in town (which seems to be a theme with them), ending up doing the majority of their work there as well. They wrote up their notes, did more research into the town and the Okaarans now that they have some more details and even outlined a plan for the article. It's a tough job, to make a story that doesn't expose the safety of the Okaarans in Valentine but also emphasises how they have demonstrated their non-violent nature throughout their presence on Earth. They also have to focus it on the incident in Beatrice and the dangerous assumptions of the police and other government authorities involved.

They do all the work they can with the information they have to this point. If this were a week ago, it's now that they would take this opportunity to get away from the other one as soon as possible. But they don't because that's not how they relate anymore. Their conversations continue effortlessly and there's no undercurrent of hostility to their moments of silence.

Getting the vibe that the waitresses are getting kind of fed up with refilling their mugs with coffee even though they haven't bought anything in hours, Alex and Maggie go back to the bar from the night before. They order a basket of fries and a basket of hot chicken wings to snack on as well as a few beers while they resume their games of pool from the night before.

Alex feels guilt over how much she enjoys spending time with Maggie. She likes the way she celebrates when she pots the ball and how she pouts when she misses. She likes the way she talks to herself under her breath as she tries to come up with a strategy to win. She likes her smile, her genuine smile. She wishes that this could've been their relationship all along. She probably doesn't deserve to have affection for this woman after all she's put her through.

But Maggie doesn't treat her the way that she probably has the right to after the years of bitterness Alex exposed her to. She has her guard up, for sure. She's protecting herself from Alex possibly hurting her again which she has every right to. But Maggie has been receptive to Alex's change of attitude and mindset, even if she doesn't know what exactly is going on in Alex's head. Although, to be fair, neither does Alex.

This is, without a doubt, the best their relationship has been in two years. So why does she want to risk all of that progress in order to be honest and talk about what happened between them to create the hostility in the first place? Because it's not really progress if they aren't addressing the issues they have to progress from. It's all just fake.

Alex still wishes that they could stay in this place of oblivious decency bordering on friendliness for just that little bit longer. But each time today that she has thought about putting it off, she remembers that she cried, silently and alone, on the toilet this morning from the stress and guilt. She doesn't want to experience that again.

"You up for another match, Danvers?" Maggie asks.

It's already after ten o'clock. She didn't even notice the time go by. If she's going to do this, she needs to leave them enough time for them to sleep after they talk in order to be functioning adults tomorrow. Plus, she's significantly tired from her uncomfortable and constantly interrupted sleep from last night.

"I'm pretty beat," Alex confesses.

Maggie looks away, nodding. "Yeah, right," Maggie says like she's upset with herself for asking such a ludicrous question. "You must be exhausted after last night. Let's go back to the room."

They walk back since they had driven straight back to the motel and walked to the diner this afternoon. It's silent and Alex feels awkward, knowing the skeleton's she's about to dig up. Part of her wants to blurt it out now and get it over with but she feels too exposed in public even though there's no one around.

As they get closer and closer to their room, Alex feels herself starting to panic. The real kind of panic she would get in stressful moments like after her dad died or just before an exam or when Kara would go through hard times, knowing the pressure she would experience as well.

"Hey, I-um… I have to call my sister," Alex says to Maggie just as they get to the stairs up to her room. "I promised her I would."

"Okay," Maggie says.

Alex knows that Maggie can sense that something is going on, but she doesn't enquire. They don't have that kind of relationship. At the moment.

Alex gives her a nod and walks back to the parking lot they just walked through, standing underneath a lamp post. She takes out her phone. It's already twenty-five past ten, there's no way Kara's awake. She didn't even plan on calling Kara when she said that to Maggie but she could do with a chat to Kara right now.

She presses the little phone icon next to Kara's name, holding the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" comes Kara's groggy voice from the other end of the call. She was definitely asleep.

"Hi, Kara."

"Alex? It's 10:30, is something wrong? Are you okay?"

"Everything's fine. I just… I wanted to see how your movie night with James went yesterday," Alex says, not feeling bold enough to jump into what she really wants to talk about.

"Oh," Kara says, seemingly perking up at the mere mention of his name. "It was good," Kara drags out.

"There's no way you don't want to tell me every detail. You don't have me fooled."

Kara goes on for at least five minutes about James and her movie night, watching 10 Things I Hate About You. Sitting next to each other on the couch soon turned into cuddling preserved for those more than friends. Nothing really happened between them, yet. Although, Kara is just as ecstatic as if they committed to spending the rest of their lives together right there and then.

"But how are things in Nebraska?" Kara says, finishing her loved-up rambling about James. "How's the investigation?"

"We've made a lot of progress actually. We have an angle that we think is going to really make for a great article."

"That's great, Alex! I knew you would do good work there; this story needed your skill to look at it from another angle."

"I couldn't have done it by myself. Maggie has been," Alex pauses. "Great. Essential."

Alex can basically hear the cock of Kara's eyebrow through the phone.

"Is that so? How has everything been going been you two?"

Alex sighs. How does she even begin to explain the conflict going on inside of her? The guilt and self-hatred she feels about the way she has treated Maggie over the past two years. The time she's been spending with Maggie being enjoyable, something that she finds herself wanting more of. The feelings she had for Maggie before possibly starting to return. There's so much it's hard to be sure what is real and what she's been hanging onto for years and has come to believe as the truth.

"Things are… complicated."

Kara doesn't say anything, waiting for Alex to continue when she's ready.

"I think that we need to talk about what happened between us. I think I need to apologize."

"What makes you say that?" Kara asks.

Alex starts to pace.

"It's just- we've been starting to get along and that has been making me think about all the animosity and hatred between us and if it was really called for. I think that the way I acted was not totally justified. What am I talking about? I was awful."

Alex feels the tears from this morning return, sparsely starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Are you sure this is the right time?"

"I don't think I can keep this inside me very much longer. Even if this ruins whatever progress we've made during this trip, I don't think it could get any worse than where we were. We have enough material to write the article if it goes really bad. I need her to know that I'm not proud of how I acted, that I'm not that person anymore."

"I'm proud of you, Alex. I think this will be good for you, for both of you. I'm just wondering what you hope to get out of this?" Kara asks, cautiously.

"I want her to know I want our relationship to be better. I want my own guilt gone. I just want us to be on good terms, friends even."

"Nothing else?"

"Nothing else is as important right now."

"Okay," Kara says, a tone in her voice that Alex can't quite trace. "I think this is a really good idea. Good luck. Let me know how it goes, you can call me whenever."

"Thanks, Kara, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Alex," Kara says before ending the call.

Alex brings the phone away from her ear, locking it and putting it back in her jacket pocket. Alex takes a deep breath in an effort to calm herself, but it doesn't work. She forces herself to bite the bullet and walk up the stairs to her and Maggie's room.

She pauses again outside the door, whispering encouragements to herself in an unsuccessful attempt to build up the courage for what's about to happen.

She feels like she should knock before she enters like she needs Maggie's permission. Her permission to come in and her permission to change everything.

She resists the urge and enters to find Maggie sitting on one side of the bed, using a hairdryer. How didn't Alex hear that? She must be way too deep inside her own head.

"Danvers, I thought I'd take a shower while you were out. Get one of us out of the way," Maggie says with a bit of a laugh at the end.

Alex just nods and tries to give a smile back which she knows is weak. She goes over and sits down on the couch that sits opposite the end of the bed. She sinks further down into it than she expects, temporarily forgetting its lack of functionality. She makes a small yelp at the unexpected drop.

"You 'right there?" Maggie grins.

Alex nods, still struggling to actually form words.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Maggie remarks with a quirked eyebrow.

Sometimes it feels that way. That ever since Maggie got hired to be her partner, she's constantly faced with ghosts and, maybe more accurately, demons from her past. Especially in this moment, where it feels like she's face-to-face with one of the worst moments of her life. It feels like she's face-to-face with a ghost and there's no way she's going to get out of the situation unscathed.

"I think we should talk," Alex forces out.

Maggie's face changes to one that is more serious. "Okay. About?"

"I need to apologize," Alex continues.

Maggie tilts her head, waiting for her to continue.

"I need to apologize for what happened between us two years ago."

Chapter 9: chapter nine: the history

Summary:

When Alex and Maggie meet for the first time at a work event, Alex's worldview is turned completely upside down. What happened between them to lead them to such a terrible place with each other?

Notes:

Hi all! This is the long-awaited chapter about what happened between Alex and Maggie years ago that led them to have the relationship they had at the start of the fic. It's a bit long and I've put a lot of work into it and I'm actually quite happy with how it turned out. Please note there is a change of rating that has come with this chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

About two years ago

"Alex! Come on, we're going to be late," Kara yells through the bathroom door.

"No, we're not," Alex replies, applying mascara in the mirror above the sink. "Stop bugging me."

"Hey, I didn't have to agree to go with you. You could've found a guy to go with you instead."

What would be the point in that? She would just have to spend the night feigning interest and knowing he would expect some kind of 'appreciation' for going with her and that never ends well for her.

"It's for work, Kara. I wouldn't bring a date to that. You're trying to get into journalism too, I thought you might be interested. Sue me."

"I know, I am. Just hurry up."

Alex puts the brush back into the mascara, twisting it closed and placing it on the bathroom sink counter. It's not often that she dresses up or puts on a full face of makeup like this, but it seems like the kind of event where that's to be expected.

They're attending the celebration of Governor Harry Colton's tenth year in office. He's been a staple in National City for a decade but hasn't really changed his platform in that time despite the changes that have happened in the city, especially concerning the alien population. That's why Alex got a press pass from her editor, perhaps she could get some content for the next story of her new article collection, Aliens in National City.

She's been working on it for about two months now and put out three articles. Her editor, J'onn has been approving articles as she writes them and putting them under the same title. She's hoping that J'onn will allow her to work on it full time and make it an official, permanent series for the paper. It definitely doesn't help that it hasn't been getting the traction she hoped it would just yet. There's a lot of prejudice concerning aliens in National City, so most readers aren't exactly open to reading anything positive about them, viewing her articles as alien propaganda from the outset. Diversifying her articles to be of a more political nature will hopefully bring in some more readers from other interests.

Alex takes a step back to look at herself in the mirror. She's wearing a navy-blue dress that comes up to about mid-thigh length and has a small triangle cut out around her midsection. Alex shrugs. It'll do.

The cocktail party was more uneventful than Alex expected. There were quite a few people in attendance. If they're giving the press pass holders plus ones you know that they are just wanting to fill seats. It's not like he's been recently re-elected into office, they must just be desperate to crowd the giant hall they rented out in the middle of the city. It would look good to the press after all, showing him with so much support. There were a few speeches by some of his staff and a couple of constituents boasting about how he's helped the city. Mayor Colton's speech was also pretty lacklustre, not addressing any of the controversies he's been involved in or inviting questions from the attending journalists, which is in no way surprising.

After the formal part of the night finished, quite a few people started to filter out. Kara made sure that they stay back long enough to take control of the catering table. They're not the only ones hanging back though, there are quite a few people continuing their conversations around the hall.

Alex is busy writing in a note on her phone with the ideas she's had throughout the evening. Kara is firmly planted at the dumpling station, unsurprisingly joined by a guy most likely attempting to get her number. Without looking up from her phone, Alex starts to walk over to Kara to give her an out if she needs rescuing from this guy. She's barely taken a few steps when she gets knocked off balance and comes crashing to the ground, her phone sent spinning across the floor.

Alex gives herself a second to prepare for the embarrassment she's about to feel when she has to get back up in front of this group of professional, uptight people.

"Need a hand," a soft voice comes from above Alex. She's blocking the light so all she sees of the woman is an outline of her long, flowing hair and a shadow of her face. She's holding out a hand to her, but Alex doesn't take it.

Alex manages to get herself up and realizes it would've been far more graceful if she just took the hand offered to her.

"I believe this is yours," the woman says, holding out Alex's phone to her.

It's the first time she gets a chance to really look at the woman. She has bright, light brown eyes and a slightly cocky but full smile. She's wearing a black button-up shirt with a light grey blazer on top, along with some extremely tight black jeans.

It takes a second for Alex to break out of her daze.

"Yes, thank you," Alex replies then clearing her throat.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Alex says quickly, not making eye contact due to her continuing embarrassment.

"Not make any assumptions but… do you need me to call you a cab? If you were going to be driving or anything."

"Oh, I haven't been drinking. I just wasn't looking on my way to go and save Kara from getting hit on by this guy," Alex says. "Oh my god, do people think I'm drunk," Alex continues, looking around the room at the people still side-eyeing her after her fall.

The woman laughs softly and smiles at her. "It's possible," she says tentatively.

Alex can feel her face heating up.

"Where's this Kara?" the woman asks, and Alex is happy for the change of subject.

"Over there," Alex says, indicating to Kara who thankfully didn't notice her epic fall.

"She doesn't look desperate for saving. Why does she need rescuing? Is she your girlfriend or something?"

Alex screws up her face for a second. "No, she's my sister. She can just never tell when men are hitting on her, she just thinks they're being nice."

"If you keep rescuing her, how's she going to learn the difference?" the woman comments with raised eyebrows.

The statement shocks Alex for a second.

"That's just… not how it works... with us," Alex replies.

It surprises Alex that she feels the urge to elaborate and tell this woman her life story. She feels the need to explain away how a large portion of her existence has been watching Kara until she needs rescuing.

Alex sees the woman nod out of the corner of her eye as they continue to watch her sister by the buffet table.

"A few of us are going to a bar down the street, Willards. You're welcome to join if you want," she replies with a shrug. "If it's time to let her figure it out on her own, that is."

The woman gives Alex one last smile and walks away towards a group of people near the exit.

Alex watches her walk away; her eyes planted on her like there's a mystery to decipher about her.

She tries to shake it from her mind as she begins her walk over to Kara for the second time. In the time it took for Alex to get up and finish speaking with the strange woman, the man is closer to Kara so that he's now almost standing over her. Kara looks a bit uncomfortable and unsure.

Alex starts to walk towards Kara looking where she's going this time, but then there's a voice that echoes in the back of her head.

If it's time to let her figure it out on her own.

The thought stops Alex in her tracks and rather she watches Kara, curiously but intently for any sign things may go wrong.

Kara glances around like she's trying to figure out a way to get out of her situation. It doesn't look like she's panicked, Alex would be able to tell. However, she definitely looks like she needs an escape.

Alex has basically given up on the idea that Kara will be able to handle the situation herself and starts to walk over to get rid of the guy when something happens that surprises Alex. Kara pushes herself away from the man, taking a step back and looking up at him. It seems as though she gracefully but firmly excuses herself from his presence when she finally spots Alex and starts heading towards her.

"You okay?" Alex asks when Kara gets closer to her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kara says with a huff but also a smile. "No big deal."

It had never been a part of Alex's responsibility to Kara to eventually stop being responsible for her and let her find her own way. The thought had never even really occurred to her, it's just not something that she ever saw giving up. Ever since Alex's parents adopted Kara, it has been made constantly clear that Kara was her obligation. They couldn't just let a newly Earth-bound alien go into the world unsupervised. All the while, Alex had to be living up to the expectations that her parents had for her; impeccable grades, entry into a top tier college and eventually a stable and respectable career.

Of course, there have been times when Alex thought about the weight of this responsibility. She loves her sister, that much is obvious. But there are times when it's hard not to see the dynamic of their relationship as a burden. Whenever that thought does occur to her, she feels nothing but guilt. She wouldn't give up Kara for anything in the world and she knows that her sister feels the same. Sometimes, however, she thinks about whether Kara still would feel that way about her if it weren't for all that Alex did for her.

And now here they are, sharing an apartment in the city and interacting with very little difference to when they were kids back at home. It's not like that's a particularly surprising series of events. It was always very obvious to Alex that they would continue to live their adult lives together like they did their teenage years. It hadn't even really been a second thought.

All of this rushes through Alex's mind at what feels like a million miles per hour, so much so that she can almost feel the wind rushing through her hair. Or maybe that was just the residual feeling of having the wind knocked out of her by the mysterious, dark-haired, beautiful woman.

Suddenly there is a flash in her vision as Kara waves her hand in front of Alex's face, breaking her out of her deep thought.

"Should I be the one asking you if you're okay?" Kara says with a bit of an amused huff.

Alex fakes a small laugh in agreeance while still very much caught up in her head.

"Well, are you? Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah," Alex mutters, the crinkle between her eyebrows becoming deeper with each word. "Do you ever think about our relationship?"

"Like, with each other?"

"Yeah."

"Uhh," Kara muses. "Want to be any more specific?"

"Like," Alex sighs. "Where do you think we would be if we didn't have each other? If we weren't as close as we are now?"

"I know that I would be lost if it wasn't for you, that's for sure," Kara says with a bit of a laugh.

"What about me?" Alex says with a serious tone in her voice.

Kara furrows her eyebrows. "I think that's kind of hard for me to say. Where do you think you'd be?"

Alex pauses. "I don't know."

"Hey, are you sure you're okay? You look a little out of it."

Part of Alex begs her to be honest but then again that's the part of herself she's been pushing away for the last decade or so, making it easy to continue her old patterns.

"No, no, I'm fine. Really. Just had a little too much to drink, probably."

"Maybe we should head home."

Alex nods and they make their way towards the exit. The crisp coldness of the air makes the hair on Alex's arms stand to attention. She feels like she can finally take a clear breath in, exhaling the busy-ness of her mind.

Kara pulls out her phone, probably to reply to a few messages while they wait for an empty cab to pass by. Alex looks up and down the street for an opportunity to catch an available taxi.

Alex is watching cars drive her direction and pass at a steady pace. Her eyes drift to the still lively street, people making their way home on a Friday night and probably even more on their way out to spend their Friday night with friends.

Alex glances up at a sign bordered in light bulbs in the far distance that reads Willards. That must be the bar that the woman was referring to.

"Alex, come on," Kara calls out, one foot already in an empty taxi.

Alex spares one last glance over to the bar and then obliges, sliding into the cab next to Kara on their way back to their apartment

Alex's life continues as normal. She wakes up at the same time she always would. She goes to the same coffee shop around the corner from her office and gets the same order. She goes to her same cubicle, surrounded by people she barely speaks to. She works on writing the assignments given to her as well as finding stories towards convincing her editor to take her article series seriously. She goes home at the end of night and cooks while Kara tells her about her day at her new job at CatCo. Then she goes to bed and tries to sleep, 'tries' being the operative word.

It's been two weeks and Alex still thinks about the woman she met at the tenth-anniversary event for the Governor. It doesn't really make sense to her, why she would still be thinking about it. It's not like she'd never thought about her obligations to Kara that were pointed out that night. But it was the first time that they were seen by another person. The first time that part of herself was validated. And by a stranger, nonetheless.

But now she's in a state of limbo, not knowing what to do. She barely even knows what she wants at this point. It's like she wants things to change but she's worried about what life will be like if changes do happen. She doesn't want to go back to the time in college where she let the pressure of trying to be her own person take her over. Those months in college where she would get drunk every night, go clubbing until she could barely hear her own voice the next day, and let men touch her because that's how it's supposed to be.

That wasn't being herself though, that was desperately trying to be someone else.

Part of her is scared to find out who she could be. Kara is her protection in that sense.

Alex struggles to sleep because of the constant battle in her head about her next step but mostly about the fact that she still hasn't done anything about it.

It's the end of the week and Alex's day passes the same as everyday has for the past month. She's in her office working on a story for the paper when news breaks late in the day of an alien hostage situation at a gas station downtown. Alex is out of the office in an instant and on her bike heading to the scene. For weeks, she's been waiting for something to happen that she could take on for an article to hopefully give a boost to her series as something to note.

It's almost dark when she gets there, the street is blocked off and the sirens of police cars flash red and blue over the crowd and surrounding buildings. She not-so-eloquently finds her way to the front of the crowd for the best view. There's not much happening, just a lot of officers standing around, waiting and talking in groups.

The nature of hostage situations is that of a waiting game. Alex spends the next hour just watching and trying to eavesdrop on the officers that walk by. Alex makes sure to send Kara a text that she'll be a little bit later home than usual tonight. She sees a lot of people come and go in the crowd around her and tries to talk to anyone about anything they've seen going on.

Then, all at once, the SWAT team enters the building with guns drawn and a lot of yelling. No shots seem to have been fired and the hostages come running out of the building followed by a few of the armed officers for protection. The commotion dies down and, eventually, the culprit of the heist is led out of the building, hands bound behind his back.

Alex is instantly confused. He appears to be just a regular human. Obviously, some aliens don't outwardly look unlike humans, Kara is the perfect example of that. But if there are reports of someone holding up a gas station and there are claims made that they are of alien descent, surely that's based solely on appearance.

Alex hangs around for the next half hour and manages to grab the attention of one of the officers running the operation who advises her that they have no reason to believe that the man that was arrested is an alien.

Alex thanks him for his time and lets out a sigh of annoyance. Not only has she spent hours out here for nothing, the speculation of an alien being behind this just feeds into the idea of aliens as criminals.

Alex starts heading back to where she parked her bike a couple of blocks away. It's only then that she really takes note of her surroundings. She stops in front of the theatre hall that held the celebration of the Governor's tenth year in office. Her eyes instinctively move to the end of the street at the familiar sign for Willards.

Alex bites the inside of her bottom lip, being taken back to her decision that night. It isn't the first time she's wondered what would have happened if she'd taken the mysterious woman up on her invitation to join her at that very bar.

Alex keeps walking until she's in front of the bar, telling herself that it doesn't have to mean anything if she goes in or if she doesn't.

The streets are busy and it's no time before someone bumps into her accidentally and knocks her out of her stupor. She's spent too much time drinking at home that it might be time for a change of scenery, she settles on.

There's an air of smoke that Alex has to step through in order to enter the bar. It's quite busy which isn't really that surprising given it's a Friday night. The room is full of the sound of people talking with a soundtrack of the eighties playing in the background. Alex looks around at all the people, sharing drinks, food and laughter. The lighting is dim and hazy probably to keep people in the mood to buy more drinks.

Alex takes a quick glance around in an attempt to find a place for herself amongst the crowd. She feels a pang of anxiousness. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all.

A couple get up from the bar leaving two empty seats in their wake. Alex bites the bullet and takes the chance to sit at the bar. She lowers herself down onto the stool and tries to ignore the puddle of liquid on the bar in front of her. She watches the bartenders and tries to get their attention each time they have a free second but to no avail.

It's not often that she's in an environment like this, only when forced to by Kara and her gang of friends or an office party that she feels obligated to attend. She feels out of place and the logical part of her is begging her to leave.

But then, out of nowhere, a bottle of beer is placed in front of Alex. She turns and it's the woman who's been on her mind for the last month, staring down at her with a quizzical look in her eye.

"You're a bit late, I hope you have a good excuse," she says with a smirk on her face.

Alex is so caught off guard that she just stares at the woman in silence.

"This is just going to get more awkward if you don't say you recognise me. The sooner the better," the woman says, smile still on her face but looking to be a bit more uncomfortable.

"Oh, I do, yes!" Alex exclaims and she's instantly embarrassed at her enthusiasm. "Sorry, yes, I remember you. I just- you caught me off guard. And not in one of my finest moments," Alex says, indicating to the complete lack of attention she's received from any and every bartender.

"Seems like a bit of trend between us."

Alex's cheeks heat up even more at just the mere memory of her epic fall in front of this beautiful woman.

"Don't worry, I'm not fazed yet," the woman adds. "You might have to keep trying."

"Maybe there's a pole somewhere around here that I could walk into."

"Don't get too excited, it's not that kind of bar."

"Oh," Alex says, her eyes widening in mild panic. "I didn't mean… I know that it's not-"

The woman lets out a small laugh, bowing her head so that some of her dark hair covers Alex's view of her face. Alex laughs in turn.

"I'm Maggie, by the way," she says. Maggie takes the seat next to Alex.

"Alex," she replies. "Danvers"

"Danvers, huh," Maggie repeats, rolling it around her tongue quizzically. "Sounds familiar," she continues, with a slight tilt of her head.

"I'm a journalist from the National City Times, that might be it."

"Oh, thank god."

Alex gives Maggie a curious look.

"I was mildly worried you were at that event last month because you actually liked that dim-witted loser up there. And as I'm saying that I'm realizing that could still be a possibility."

"Oh, don't worry. He garners no political support from me. Just the amount of attention needed to write a definitely non-biased article about his bigotry."

Maggie looks at her with a smirk of intrigue.

She sighs. "Girl after my own heart."

Alex laughs softly and she feels heat spread to her cheeks. She takes a sip of her beer to move her mind onto other things.

"Thanks for this, by the way," Alex says, indicating to the bottle in front of her. "I don't think I said it before."

"No problem," Maggie replies taking a sip of her own. "You can owe me one later."

"Sounds like a deal," Alex agrees.

Alex feels nervous but she isn't sure why. It's no secret to herself that she's thought about this woman probably every day since their first meeting. Alex initially reasoned that this was due to Maggie being a symbol of the realisations that's she's had about her relationship with her sister since that night. She never stopped to think about there being any other reason for it. But now that she's sitting across from this woman, their gazes locked, and even the simple fact of being able to put a name to the face after all this time, Kara isn't even a second or third thought.

"So," Alex says, trying to focus. "Why were you at the Governor's event?"

"I am a journalist as well. At National City Weekly."

"Oh, no way," Alex says in shock. "I guess I can say the same thing about you then."

Maggie cocks her head to the side and squints her eyes in mild confusion.

"About the- your reason for being there. At the event," Alex stumbles out.

"Oh," Maggie says. In realisation of Alex's meaning, she temporarily places her hand on Alex's hand that's resting on her knee. "Gotcha. Yes, don't tell me you took me for a Colton supporter. I'm going to have to some re-evaluating."

"No, no. You could've been, I don't know, a party crasher waiting for the right opportunity to throw an egg at the Governor and start a riot for all I know."

"Coincidentally, that's exactly the look I was going for," Maggie says, smiling directly at Alex and it's almost overwhelming for some reason.

"So, how long have you been working there?"

"Not long. A couple of months. I just moved here from Gotham."

"Oh yeah? I'm sure you got some great stories to cover over there from what I hear that goes on."

"Definitely. It was great, really. I was at a great paper, the Gotham Gazette. A lot of amazing opportunities and a lot of great teachers and people as well."

"Why did you leave?" Alex asks. "If you don't mind my asking."

"I just needed a change," Maggie admits. "I'd been there since college and I wanted some new challenges with my career. Plus, I'd just had an awful break up with my now ex-girlfriend and it felt like the right time.

It's like Alex's brain attempts to skip over the word girlfriend like an old, worn-out record player. But it's clear on the next play and it stands out even more than it would have the first time.

Alex swallows, breaking eye contact momentarily. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. It was time."

Alex just nods, taking a generous swig from her beer before turning her attention back to the woman next to her.

"So, what brought you here tonight, then?" Maggie asks.

"Oh, I was just around the corner, at the hold up at the gas station. I thought there might be a story there, but it didn't work out."

"Didn't work out? Seems like a pretty straight forward story to me. I mean, not something that I would want to write about but if it got given to me, doesn't seem like it would be too difficult."

"Well, I heard that the… holder-upper, you know, the guy doing the holding up," Alex sighs but Maggie just laughs. But it isn't a cruel, how-dumb-are-you laugh, it's just a laugh that tells Alex that Maggie is enjoying her company. "The person that was holding the gas station hostage," Alex successfully clarifies and Maggie winks at her. Alex has to do her best to keep herself on track and remember what she was going to say. "Was rumoured to be an alien. I've been trying to get a series about aliens off the ground for a few months now and I thought it could be a good story to actually draw people in. Right now, it isn't going as well as I was hoping. Anyway, the police told me that had no reason to believe he was an alien so that was a bust."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out. I'll have to check out your series though, I have a bit of an interest in aliens myself. Gotham was more populated with your regular old vigilante criminal than aliens."

"How simple life was back then," Alex jokes and she's a bit surprised when Maggie laughs.

"Exactly," Maggie replies. "Well, seems like you could use some cheering up, then. How about a game of darts? I'll only let you win the first time to get your spirits up and then it's on."

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to pretend to let me win."

"Confident, are we?"

"I would just say realistic."

"Is that so? Then it's on."

They actually end up winning two games each. Both Alex and Maggie are on their third beer. It's not enough to get them near drunk but it's successful at keeping them talking late into the night.

"So, did you grow up here?" Maggie asks, now seated in one of the booths.

"No, we grew up in Midvale. Wrong coast."

"I'm going to assume the 'we' is your infamous damsel-in-distress sister? Lara, was it?"

Alex beats herself up inside at the fact that she answered as if the question was about Kara, that they're so intrinsically linked that a question about her childhood couldn't have just been about her childhood alone. She hates more that she didn't even notice and that Maggie had to point it out.

"Kara, yeah," Alex all but mumbles. "Sorry, I didn't even realise."

"You don't need to apologise to me. What's the deal there? Are you guys just really close?"

"Yeah, I guess," Alex says in a way that almost sounds like a question.

"You don't sound so sure," Maggie questions.

"There's just, I don't know, a lot to it, I suppose."

Maggie just waits and watches and it fuels her to keep talking. That is the opposite of a common occurrence with her.

"My parents adopted her when I was fourteen and she had some," hard to control alien abilities, "well, she found it hard to adjust. And, I guess, it fell onto me to take care of her. And by 'fell onto me', I mean, it was made very clear to me that she was my responsibility. I guess, that's just still how we work."

"That's a long time," Maggie comments.

"Yeah. It's fine though, I'm used to it."

"Those are two very different things. Being fine and being used to something."

"Yeah," Alex mulls. "I don't see anything changing though so what's the point?" Alex adds after a minute of thinking.

"Do you want it to change?"

It feels natural to be talking to Maggie that it surprises her when she remembers she's basically a complete stranger. It's not that the question catches her off guard. She's been asking herself that same question for the last month, if not the last decade.

It's clear to both of them that the silence is Alex's answer.

"Any plans for the weekend?" Alex asks in a poor attempt to change the subject.

"No plans," Maggie replies. "You?"

Maggie throws her head back to put away the rest of the beer in her near-empty bottle. Alex watches her hair fall back and the way her neck extends as she leans back. Alex takes another sip from her own beer and feels the heat of the alcohol spread through her chest.

"Nope, nothing."

"This place is starting to get less of the social drinking crowd and more of the didn't-know-when-to-stop crowd. Do you want to maybe go for a walk and sober up a bit?" Maggie asks.

"Yeah, sounds good," Alex replies.

Maggie and Alex step out into the cold night air after navigating their way to the exit.

"You know, I still want to read the alien articles you've written," Maggie says, as they start to walk down the street in no obvious direction.

"I have the links on my phone, I can text them to you if you want."

"Yeah, sure" Maggie says, handing Alex her unlocked phone.

Alex can see the background of Maggie's phone is a photo of a Labrador smiling up at the camera with sparse backyard space laid out in the background.

"Do you have a dog?" Alex asks, swaying slightly into Maggie's side (whether due to the cold, the alcohol, or the want to be close is unclear).

"I wish," Maggie says with a bit of a laugh. "It's my aunt's dog, Peach. She got her a year before I left for college, she's the most joyful dog I've ever met and that's not exactly an uncommon trait in dogs so it's saying a lot.

Alex finds herself smiling down at Maggie as she talks with such love. Maggie looks to her, meeting her gaze and biting her lip.

Alex takes a deep breath and looks back to the phone. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop."

"You're a journalist, I wouldn't expect any less."

"Fair point," Alex replies.

Alex presses the home button and goes to contacts. Alex enters in her details and sends herself a text for future reference. Alex sets Maggie's phone back to the home screen and hands it back to her.

"Well, my deductive journalist skills also noted that it looks like that photo was taken on some farmland or a field of some kind."

"But you can't specify which one," Maggie says, ending her sentence with a tsk, tsk.

"Oh, come on. That would be impossible!"

"To the untrained eye, perhaps."

Alex rolls her eyes.

"We went exploring in the fields behind my house one day."

"See, I said field didn't I?"

"Surprised you haven't been nominated for a Pulitzer yet."

"If you could put in a good word for me with the board about what just happened here, I would really appreciate it."

"I'll get right on that as soon as I get a word in with congress about our gun laws. I have pull with many bodies of power."

"Of course, I wouldn't assume any less," Alex says. "So where are these famous fields behind your house? Where are you from?"

"Nebraska. My aunt owns this little plot of land where she farms her own chickens and vegetables. She's neighbours with one of the biggest landowners in Nebraska. You could get lost in there for days and no one would be able to find you."

"Sounds like you know that from experience."

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell."

"Oh," Alex says, a bit caught off guard. "You really wouldn't want to get caught in there then, that's for sure."

"Definitely not. You don't have to doubt me, though. Clean record. Never been caught."

"I'm sure that's the journalist in you. Fading into the background."

"Not sure that's one of the essential characteristics of a journalist. I noticed you when we first met."

Alex feels her cheeks heat up. "It would be pretty hard not to notice someone falling on their face in front of you."

"Before that."

Maggie takes Alex hand in her own slowing their walking down to a stop. Maggie's hand is as cold as hers is but there is a growing warmth now that they're connected. Alex's breath gets caught in her chest. She's met with Maggie gazing intently into her eyes.

"Honestly, I'm surprised I've never noticed you before, we must have been running in the same circles before tonight," Maggie says softly but they're close enough that Alex can hear each word clearly.

Alex doesn't know what to say. It's safe to say that she never thought she would find herself in a situation like this. She feels the need to analyse the situation, her whole existence really. That's how she makes all of her decisions after all, through lengthy critical thought. She needs to think about the outcomes, what will happen with each choice she makes for both her and Kara. Alex still feels the slightest buzz from the drinks she had earlier in the night but it's not the kind of influence that makes her decisions for her. It's the kind that tells her to let go of the overanalytical decision making that brought her to this place in her life where she doesn't even know who she is.

Alex lets her instincts overtake her and she's leaning in and taking Maggie's lips with hers.

Alex feels Maggie inhale deeply when they connect and she takes a step closer to Alex, her free hand coming up to cup her cheek. Alex's hand finds its way to Maggie's bicep and she feels Maggie's muscles tense at the touch. Alex can feel her heartbeat all the way through her body and her head feels light. All she can feel is, well, Maggie.

Somehow it feels as though an entire lifetime has passed them by but, in reality, it is only a minute or so before they separate. Maggie looks up at Alex and lets out a soft, huffed laugh, smiling at her.

When Alex pulls back further it's like the rest of the world comes back into frame around her. What did she just do? Her body is telling her she wants more of what just happened but there's something in her head telling her she shouldn't.

"My, um, apartment is just a few blocks from here if you want to come up for a nightcap?" Maggie asks, her voice heavy.

Alex's mouth feels dry when she tries to answer. She doesn't even know what to say. She just knows she needs to leave. She needs to think about this. She needs to figure out why she didn't need to think before she kissed this woman in front of her.

"I-I should go," Alex says, trying to sound as casual and natural as possible but it still has her signature stuttering spin on it.

Maggie nods enthusiastically, definitely overcompensating for the awkwardness of Alex's backing away from Maggie's embrace. "Of course, yeah."

Alex's heart begs her to stay, she almost feels the pull of it in her chest wanting her to stay close to Maggie as her feet drag her away.

"I'll send you those articles," Alex adds, backing away but still facing Maggie.

"Yeah, great," Maggie says, seemingly letting out a relieved breath. "I'll call you," Maggie says, and it definitely sounds like a question.

Alex nods and forces a smile before she turns to walk down the street, not even aware she's walking in the complete opposite direction of her bike.

Alex's nails dig into her palms as she walks, her mind simultaneously blank but spinning out of control. It's almost half an hour before she's even able to navigate herself back to where she parked. She can still feel the sting of Maggie's lips on hers when she gets on her bike with the decision made to forget tonight.

By the time Alex approaches her apartment door it's well past midnight. When she walked into her building, she found that she had four missed calls and twelve unanswered messages from Kara throughout the night. She feels immensely guilty for inadvertently ignoring Kara for hours. She hesitates before she walks into their apartment, not sure if she's going to have the energy to face Kara. She feels like a teenager sneaking home from a night out drinking or committing minor vandalism. Well, she assumes this is what that would feel like as she never actually did any of those things as a teenager. She just feels like she did something wrong.

With an inhale to brace herself, Alex slides her key into the door and, as quietly as possible, goes inside and closes the door behind her. Before she can really even turn around, she has arms wrapped around her, forcing her face over Kara's shoulder and into her long blonde hair.

Alex feels instantly uncomfortable with the contact. She's never been one to initiate physical contact with anyone really; not her parents, not Kara, not friends, and not men. That clearly wasn't the case tonight.

"Don't take this as an indication that I'm not annoyed at you right now," Kara mumbles into Alex's shoulder.

Alex sighs and separates them.

"Don't get me wrong," Kara continues as Alex walks towards their kitchen, Kara closely in tow. "I'm glad you're going out with your friends, but you could've let me know."

Alex steps into the kitchen and finds the remnants of packaging from their local Chinese take-out.

"I thought I'd surprise you," Kara mumbles. "Not only that. You were at the scene of a hostage situation and hours passed, and I had no idea whether you were safe. I had to look it up after getting in my head with worry."

Alex makes the decision there and then to go back to how things were yesterday, the day before and ever since she's known Kara. She doesn't want to see Kara upset; she loves her. Who cares if she hurts herself in the process, she knows that life. She doesn't know who she is without it and judging by tonight it's not something she wants to think about. At all. Ever.

Alex closes the gap between her and Kara, placing her hands on Kara's arms. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. I just needed some time to myself."

"I understand that Alex. But I still need to know you're safe."

"I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Kara pulls her in for another hug and this time Alex reciprocates.

Kara pulls back and brushes some misplaced hair behind Alex's ear. She then moves her hand to run her thumb under Alex's eye and her no doubt smudged eyeliner from the cold or, more honestly, from the involuntary tears she shed on her walk back to her bike.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kara asks, curiously.

Alex puts on a thin-lipped smile, "I'm sure."

Kara nods but there's some apprehension in her eyes.

"I might go take a shower, long night and all," Alex says.

"Okay," Kara replies quietly. "I'll make you something to eat, have you eaten yet?"

"No, it's okay. I think I'll call it a night," Alex says, retreating to her room.

"Okay, good night," Kara says as Alex leaves.

Alex quickly ducks into her room to get some clean clothes and makes her way to the small bathroom they share, closing the door behind her and leaning against it with a deep exhale. She doesn't even know where to start with the thoughts that she's having so she starts with the easiest one, Kara. It will be easiest for everyone involved if Alex moves on and everything goes back to when things were normal and, more importantly, simple.

Alex busies herself with stripping off her clothes and turning the water onto hot until it's almost scalding. She lets the water run over her skin and focuses on the feeling of the hot water hitting her. She watches as her skin starts to turn pink from the heat. She takes the soap and uses it with determination like she needs to rid herself of this evening.

When she gets out of the shower, she feels exhausted. She dries herself off and throws on the comfy, old clothes she grabbed from her room. Alex goes over to the vanity and starts brushing her teeth. She looks up at herself in the mirror, she looks just as exhausted as she feels.

There's a loud knocking on the door.

"Alex, I'm going to bed. Sleep tight!" Kara's muffled voice comes through the door.

Alex spits out her toothpaste and washes out her mouth. She looks back up at herself again, promising to leave yesterday behind for good. It was a one-time mistake, there's nothing more to it than that.

By Sunday, Alex is back to her usual routine. She's scouring the other online news outlets from National City and the major national news outlets for possible alien-based article topics. It works as a good distraction.

Kara is back to her usual self by now, although she does throw Alex a curious glance every now and then.

When she's not refreshing the news tabs in her browser, Alex busies herself with cleaning and rearranging the furniture of their apartment while blasting music in her headphones. It's a bit of a cliché distraction but it does the job.

She's replacing the sheets on her bed when her music is interrupted by the sound of her ringtone in her ears. Alex takes her phone out of her pocket and finds a number on the screen that she doesn't recognise. That's not exactly an unusual occurrence, she often gets people calling her in relation to work. A bit odd for a Sunday though.

Alex pulls out the headphone jack and takes off her headphones, throwing them on the bed.

"Alex Danvers," she says, bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Danvers, hey. It's Maggie."

Alex falls silent with shock. This, she didn't expect when she answered the call. What's the point of sending yourself a text off someone's phone to get their number if you don't even go to the effort of saving it?

"From the other night… at the bar…" Maggie continues through the awful silence.

"Yeah, yes, I remember, sorry," Alex clears her throat. "Just caught me off guard a little, that's all."

"Oh, sorry, did I get you at a bad time?"

"No, no, it's fine. I was just cleaning," Alex says. It would've been easy to lie and have a good excuse to get off the phone and not have to face what's coming next. Too late now.

"Well at least one of us is having a productive weekend," Maggie jokes and Alex laughs nervously.

"Anyway, I was just doing some reading on Twitter and I came across a report about the hold up at the gas station from Friday and it occurred to me that you never sent me the links to your articles. I wasn't sure if you'd forgotten me and the start of this call definitely didn't help that argument," Maggie laughs.

"Oh, sorry," Alex fumbles around her words. "Just been so busy the last couple of days."

"It's okay, I'm sure I could use some basic investigating and find them myself. Anyway, I've been thinking about what a great time I had with you the other night. And then I found your number in my phone and I thought, it's worth the question. Do you want to meet up and go out sometime?"

While Alex has convinced herself that she has been successful in busying herself enough to repress the events of Friday night, it's not totally accurate. All day yesterday was spent trying to pretend it didn't happen, making excuses in her head. She was drunk. She was in her head about Kara and wasn't thinking straight. She was pressured into it. All of which she knows are untrue, but the lies are easier to digest.

She feels confused which isn't a feeling she comes across very often. It makes her frustrated. She's always known who she is, where she's going in life. But now the path seems less clear.

"Look, Maggie, that night was a mistake."

"Oh… okay…"

"I'm not like that, I'm not… gay," Alex forces out, whispering the last word like it's got some satanic consequence. "It never should've happened."

"Oh," Maggie says into the silence. "I guess I got the wrong impression."

"I-" Alex doesn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry, I have to go. It was nice meeting you."

Alex can't bear to wait for an answer, bringing the phone away from her ear and ending the call. Alex knows her voice sounded pained the entire time. She puts on her headphones and presses play on her music in an attempt to quiet the voice in the back of her head that's telling her she just made a huge mistake.

It's been a few weeks since that fateful Friday night and it would seem like she's completely back to normal to anyone looking in. Or never changed, really. The reality, however, is quite the contrary. When she stays late at work it's no longer to get a jump on the other journalists in her office, it's to keep her mind occupied against the other thoughts trying to surface. When she's tossing and turning in her sleep, it's not because she struggles to stay still in one place for too long but because she can't get her mind to give her a break from her intrusive thoughts. When she has a drink at the end of the night in front of some mind-numbing reality TV show, she's trying to give herself a break from the relentless questioning as opposed to just relaxing after a long day.

Alex thinks about that night and heart lurches. She keeps trying to tell herself it was a lapse in judgement, a mistake that has never and will never happen.

But then she remembers. When she was sixteen, she had a friend named Vicki. Best friend, actually. They did everything together. When she wasn't with Kara, she was with Vicki. She would sleepover with Alex almost every weekend, in Alex's bed. Alex's heart speeds up when she remembers that feeling. When Vicki would roll over and rest her head on Alex's chest. When Alex would curl into her and Vicki would run her hand through Alex's hair. When Vicki teased Alex that she'd never kissed anyone, so she helped her practice. Just the once though.

It fell apart when Kara had an anxiety attack when she couldn't find Alex after school because she and Vicky had decided to go for ice cream. It was an accident. Alex thought that Kara was going back to her friend's house but that was actually the day after. Alex had heard an earful from her parents about her recklessness and how irresponsible she was. She knew from that point on that she couldn't let anyone come before Kara and her family responsibilities.

Alex knows now that her decision was partially motivated by the confusing feelings she was having towards her best friend. Kara and her needs were a welcome distraction from dealing with everything going on inside her head and inside her heart.

The downside is, she has to deal with it now.

Alex packs up her desk to leave earlier than she has been this entire week. She locks her computer and heads towards the exit, navigating her way through the desks. As she walks past the desk of the receptionist, she gives her a quick goodbye which is politely returned.

Alex finds her way out onto the crowded street, everyone making their commute home just like she is. As she walks, she notices things that she never has before. She sees pride flags hanging from balconies or in the corners of shop fronts as a show of solidarity. She notices gay couples who hold hands as they walk (though they are admittedly few and far between). She chances glances when she sees beautiful women walk by her.

Alex lets the bitterly cold wind be her focus as she walks the half-hour back to their apartment. When she gets inside and closes the door behind her, she is again met with silence around her but noise in her head.

She's tired. She's exhausted from these debates in her head. She needs to act on it. It can't be a 'what if' idea anymore. It could still be just thoughts that have no basis, a phase. She still might not be… you know.

It's barely 7pm but Alex grabs her usual bottle of Jack Daniels and goes to her room, locking the door behind her. Kara had a late meeting today and was planning on going out after, so Alex isn't expecting to see her anytime soon. But it's still better to be safe than sorry.

Alex kicks off her shoes and sheds off her coat, blazer and black jeans, throwing her favourite Stanford hoodie over her head and pulling on a pair of sweatpants. She grabs her laptop off her desk and sits cross-legged under the covers on her bed.

The next few hours consist of a steady stream of mildly embarrassing Google searches that she feels too old to be searching. She watches as two women fall in love in television clips on YouTube over and over, feeling her heart lurch and her eyes well up with each one. She reads about LGBT history and what it means to be gay in this country right now. She cringes when she struggles to find results that aren't all about sex or pornography when she googles the word 'lesbian'.

Alex has never been an overtly sexual person, that was never a part of her that seemed to develop. It's not like she's never had sex, mind you, she could count all of her partners on one hand. At least the ones she remembers, the ones she was sober for. It was just not something that she craved. It was always… otherwise motivated. When she slept with men it was never because she was desperate for it or even because she wanted the intimacy. It was because she no longer wanted to be a virgin or she wanted to show the man she was dating that she was actually into him so she didn't have to be alone or she wanted to try to understand what the hype was all about.

Over the years, Alex found it more efficient and more effective to find her own release every now and again. It became more of a routine than something of pleasure. She lets the vibrations take her over the edge without a thought in her mind or image in front of her. It's purely mechanical.

Alex hasn't felt turned on in god knows how long (actively forfeiting that night). That's why Alex feels completely thrown off when she feels a warmth watching videos she has stumbled upon of two women together.

It can't be the first time that she's seen two women kissing with this kind of intent. But it is the first time she's acknowledged the effect it has on her and her body.

Alex starts to analyse the video. The lighting is a bit dark, probably to give the impression that the video is real. The camera work definitely is an indicator that it is entirely fabricated.

Of course, it doesn't take long for her to get distracted though. She gets drawn in when the blonde woman removes the brunette's bra. Her thoughts fall silent when the blonde takes her partners nipple in her mouth. Alex bites her lip when the blonde goes lower, slipping a hand down the other woman's pants which soon leads to the speedy removal her pants altogether.

Alex, almost without a thought, leads her hand to the hem of her sweatpants. She slips it underneath, repositioning herself so she's leaning back against the cushions with her laptop positioned beside her. Her hand travels down until she feels an ounce of relief that she's desperately seeking.

As she keeps an eye on the screen, she feels just how wet she's quickly become. She runs her fingers up and down her slit, trying to steady herself. When she shifts her focus to circling her clit a soft moan escapes her lips, feeling pleasure rush through her.

Usually, she would never have even gotten to this point without reaching for her vibrator and lube to make up from her lack of genuine arousal. That definitely isn't the case right now.

It doesn't take long for Alex to feel like she's approaching her climax, her fingers getting more frantic and determined. Her eyes flutter closed in concentration. Though she's only shared a kiss with Maggie, it's still her that her mind travels to. She pictures Maggie's hands in the place of her own, moving to palm one of her own breasts through her hoodie. She can almost feel the warmth of Maggie hovering above her. She can almost hear Maggie's moans of pleasure, whining her name. It's enough to send Alex over the edge.

She comes down from her high, catching her breath and feeling her heart rate slow back down. Alex opens her eyes, staring at the ceiling. She feels a deep yearning inside her. For what? She's not exactly sure. But there's no doubting that she's on the road to finding out.

Alex hates lying to Kara. She's never liked doing it. Alex had always felt as though Kara had enough pain in her life and she never wanted to be the cause of any further hurt or betrayal. But for the last month, she's been hiding things from Kara and it's been difficult, to say the least.

Alex has been trying to explore herself and figure out her feelings. She hasn't felt ready to share that with her sister just yet.

She made herself a Tinder account which is something she swore she would never do. It was initially for research purposes only; she is a journalist after all. But then she got tempted and started swiping right more than left. She started getting messages from some absolutely stunning women and decided that her experiment could be taken a little further.

She's gone on four dates now, two of them with the same woman. She didn't get further than a kiss with any of them, but it was still enough for her to know that she's on the right track.

Last weekend she also stopped in at an LGBTQ bookshop, coming out with more than an armful of books. She then spent the whole day in a cafe reading one of her many new books. She has done this a few times, leaving the house to read or just to think. Alex usually tells Kara she has to work late or follow up a lead for an article she's working on.

The thought of telling Kara just makes her feel nervous. At the end of the day, she knows that Kara loves her like genuinely and unconditionally loves her. But that doesn't mean things aren't going to change. Alex isn't even really sure of what label she should be using just yet.

At this point, she's attracted to women. That night with Maggie wasn't a misguided mistake, it was her true self trying to get out. Alex is glad that it happened. She always had a feeling that there was something missing, that she could be more. She always thought that the way to quench that feeling was through her career, but it never got her anywhere. Meeting Maggie was life-changing.

The past few weeks have given her a lot of time to reflect and, with that, she's been thinking more deeply about what happened with Maggie. She's never met anyone like her before. Someone who she felt immediately connected and attracted to. Being with Maggie was one of the most genuine moments she's ever had. Maggie's kind, smart, confident, and definitely beautiful. The dates with the other women were more affirming than they were abundant with chemistry. Alex wants that instant connection she experienced with Maggie and more than anything she wants it with Maggie herself.

Unfortunately, Alex knows she's not ready yet. When Alex rejected Maggie over the phone, she said some things that she's not exactly proud of and that she's come to realise aren't really accurate. If or when Alex approaches Maggie again, she wants to put forward the best and most complete version of herself.

And then there's the question of men. She's definitely never felt the passion and attraction she felt for Maggie towards any men. But she's also never felt that way for another woman. All the short and, frankly, apathetic relationships she's had with boys were largely built on peer pressure and convenience. It was that step in a person's life where they start to explore their romantic and sexual interests. At the time, Alex just thought that those weren't interests that took priority for her. Sure, in the back of her head she thought one day she'd get around to exploring it seriously, but it was always something she found excuses to delay. Now Alex is able to recognise that the real reason why she was never able to click with any of her lacklustre boyfriends and why she never had the drive to explore that part of her life any further.

The thought of completely ruling men out of the picture is a bit confronting and slightly scary. If she goes with her gut and says that she's not attracted to men at all, it means that she's also giving up all of the images and expectations she was made to believe her future would include. It's hard to completely let go of societal and personal intentions for the direction of her life, like rewriting all of her ingrained assumptions and knowledge. But it's the only way for her to move forward no matter how much of a struggle that will be.

Alex gets home quite late, especially for a Friday. On the last day of the work week, Alex usually gives herself a little bit of a break and leaves on time. However, after leaving the office Alex made her way to a local park, utilizing the last of the setting sun for the next few hours to continue one of her books. She then decided to take a walk, retracing her steps from that night that was now almost two months behind her. She quietly hopes maybe she'll run into Maggie even though she knows she has areas to improve before she sees her again.

By the time she gets home it's nearing eight o'clock. She finds Kara sitting in the dark watching the TV.

"Don't you know it's bad for your eyes to watch a screen in the dark," Alex says, flipping the switch to turn on the lights just inside the door.

Kara doesn't look up at her when the lights switch on. Alex shrugs off her coat and hangs it just inside the door. From her new angle, she can see right into the kitchen where there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and a plate stacked with her favourite pasta. It takes Alex a few seconds to realize what must have happened as Kara looks at her with a saddened look.

"Oh, Kara."

"I just thought I'd surprise you but then you didn't come home. Again."

"I'm sorry, I got caught up."

"That seems to be happening a lot lately."

"I know, I've just... had a lot on my mind."

"Why won't you talk to me about it? I can see that you've been going through something. You've been different lately."

Alex hesitates.

"I've missed you. I know you've been around for me when I've needed you, but it feels like we don't just spend time together anymore. Alex," Kara continues with some desperation in her voice. "Come and talk with me."

Alex takes a deep breath and sits down on the couch next to Kara. Alex bites her lip and tries not to make eye contact with Kara just yet. She thought that when she did tell Kara, she'd have time to build herself up and practice what she was going to say. But at least she feels emotionally ready to tell her. She just hopes that Kara can understand her hesitation.

"I've been a bit distracted lately, clearly. I've just been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting and well…" Alex tries to swallow the lump in her throat, but it doesn't really do much to help her. Alex meets Kara's eyes. "I'm- I'm gay."

It's the first time she's said that out loud. It's all she's been thinking about for the past several weeks and she's said it in her head a multitude of times but never out loud before.

Alex wrings her hands together in the silence. Kara looks shocked more than anything, so Alex tries to explain herself.

"That night a couple of months ago when I came home late and didn't tell you. I met someone. A woman."

"Oh."

"I just- I felt something that I've never felt before when I was with her, something I haven't felt with any man, like, ever. I know this is a shock, trust me. It was for me. I've been trying to get my head around it. I'm sorry, I just needed time to figure out if what I was feeling was right."

"You don't need to be sorry, Alex," Kara says, placing her hand on top of Alex's.

Alex feels an instant sense of relief.

"You know that this doesn't change how much I love you, right? Nothing could ever change that."

Alex nods, finding it harder to talk than earlier due to the emotions building inside of her. She looks at Kara through welling eyes and nods. She's probably cried more times recently than she has her whole life and she lost her father when she was sixteen.

"So, you're sure about this? It's totally fine if you are, great even, it's just you said you were thinking about it. Did you settle-"

"Yeah, Kara, I'm sure," Alex answers Kara's question and confirms it within herself at the same time. It feels right.

"Okay," Kara says.

A silence falls between them yet again. Alex watches Kara who has a look of deep concentration and conflict on her face. Alex's thoughts immediately rush to the worst possible things that Kara could be thinking about. Does she actually not accept this about Alex? Is she angry that Alex hid this from her for so long? Is she uncomfortable with the thought that Alex is attracted to women?

"What are you thinking about?" Alex asks with some worry in her voice.

"It's nothing," Kara sighs. "It's just- why didn't you talk to me about it?"

Oh.

"I get that it's a personal thing and takes a lot of reflecting and all that but… it couldn't have been easy. I just wish I could've been there for you. I know it's completely different, but I know what it's like to adjust to a whole different kind of existence. When I came to this planet, I was different from everyone around me and it wasn't an easy thing to come to terms with. I don't mean to make this about me, but you were there for me through all of that. I just wish I could have been there for you along the way. Did you think I wouldn't support you?"

Alex's heart feels heavy. She can't do anything but be honest.

"It's not that. It's just-" Alex hesitates, how is she going to phrase this? "You said it yourself, I was always there for you, your whole life. To be honest, that's the quality I have defined myself by for the longest time. Now I had this whole new part of myself that I had to worry about, and I didn't want to worry you about it as well."

Kara starts to tear up and Alex instantly feels guilty.

"Kara," Alex doesn't really know what else to say.

"I want you to worry me about stuff like that. I'm sorry that you didn't feel like you could. I'm your sister, Alex. I want to be there for you just as much as you want to be there for me. I want to be a better sister to you. I'm sorry I haven't been."

"You have been a good sister," Alex insists.

"Not as good as you are to me."

Alex doesn't really know what to say. She definitely didn't expect this response.

"You don't have to try and defend it. I just want you to know that I love you so much and I want to be here for you when you need me. All you need to do is let me in."

"Okay," Alex says through a teary smile. "I love you too."

Kara leans in for a hug and Alex embraces the warmth and love from her sister. This is honestly not what she expected to come out of her coming out, so to speak. It sounds stupid but Alex genuinely didn't think that Kara had the same level of love and care for Alex that she did for her. Her relationship with Kara was always based on her own selflessness for Kara's wellbeing but she never really stopped to consider how Kara saw Alex apart from her protective big sister. Alex always saw their relationship as static rather than something that could grow and change as they themselves have. Maybe that's about to change.

"So, tell me, who's this woman you met? Is that where you've been going all the time?" Kara asks, trying to lift the mood.

"No, I haven't seen her since. She called me a couple of days later to ask if I wanted to go out again, but I said no. I thought the kiss was a mistake."

"Was it?"

"No," Alex says with some regret in her voice. "But it's too late now."

"Maybe you could try and find her again. Now that you know it wasn't a mistake."

"Maybe, I don't know. It's embarrassing though, I mean, I'm a woman in her late twenties and I didn't even realize I was attracted to women."

"You shouldn't be ashamed of that. Everyone has different paths, different timelines. There's no guideline to measure yourself against. If anyone is going to understand that, it's another gay person, right?"

"Maybe, yeah. I've gone on a couple of dates with other women to figure out what I was feeling. None of them compared to what I felt with Maggie."

Kara gives Alex a small smile like she's proud of her.

"Well, all I know is that anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

Alex rolls her eyes. "Suck up."

"It's true!"

"Thanks, Kara," Alex says with a small, shy smile. "Right, well, there's no reason to let the food you cooked go to waste. You know what they say, it's always the best the next day."

"I don't think that's true with pasta. Also, I only made it like two hours ago."

"Well, I'm sure it took on the emotional labour of a week in that twenty-minute conversation."

"I think if it sat out for a week it wouldn't exactly be safe to eat."

Alex just gives her a look.

"How about I help you get it ready?" Kara offers

"Better."

Alex and Kara spend the night eating pasta and binge-watching Schitt's Creek. Alex reflects on her conversation with Kara and how much more they worked through than she expected.

The hardest part is over, she told the most important person in her life that she's a lesbian. There are definitely more steps ahead, a lot that she probably doesn't even realize just yet, but it's definitely time to find out what they are.

Alex has been working on herself. Like, really and truly trying to be a better person and understand herself more. This period of her life is the first time in a long time she's actually wanted to care about a future that existed outside of her career. Finally acknowledging and accepting a part of herself that she didn't know about or actively told herself she didn't know about (probably a combination of both), is incredibly liberating and makes her want to try out her new identity with her whole heart.

She's been trying to be honest and open with herself about her feelings, not pushing thoughts aside and leaving them to fade away with the next bottle of whiskey. She's been starting to think about what her future could look like. While she thinks about a domestic future with a woman, Alex makes sure to remind herself that she is new to all of this and she has a lot left to figure out.

As much reminding as she does, there's one thing, one person, that she can't stop from coming into her thoughts.

Maggie.

Maggie has been on her mind ever since Alex met her months ago. Back then, she was in denial and confused about her thoughts about Maggie, so it was easier to push them aside with the closest alcohol. In her attempt to work on herself, she tries to take in the thoughts about Maggie and really understand what they mean. Alex has come to the conclusion that she's not over Maggie and it won't be easy to forget about her either.

The thing is, she doesn't really know what to do next.

Kara has been encouraging Alex to contact Maggie, and pretty convincingly too. You never know unless you try, Alex. She's gay herself, she would surely understand how hard it can be to figure out for some people. Alex knows there's truth in what she's saying but it's hard to accept how she treated Maggie when the woman was nothing but kind and honest with her. Kara reminds her that if that's how she treated Alex then, Maggie would probably treat her the same way now, with understanding. But Alex can't get over the shame she feels about how she spoke to Maggie. It's something she's working on.

On her lonelier nights, Alex finds her thumb hovering over Maggie's contact in her phone. Sometimes she just wants to call and hear her voice again. Sometimes she wants to type out a novel-length text message explaining herself. Sometimes she wants to delete her contact and, with it, the temptation. Maybe even just send her the articles she promised her she would. So far, she hasn't done any of those things.

While she's trying to explore this side of her and come to terms with her new personhood, she can't let it take over every aspect of her life.

Alex gets a call about a suspected underground alien fight league downtown towards the end of her day. The FBI raided their hideout this afternoon and news is spreading about the nature of the investigation and it's definitely something that Alex wants to check out. Her alien-based articles have started to gain more traction and J'onn has decided to approve her to make a regular, permanent article series with them. The first one is set to go out in two weeks on Thursday and he's planning on putting some promotional materials in the issues leading up the first article. It's incredibly exciting. Kara is really proud of her and in all honesty, Alex is really proud of herself too.

She grabs her leather jacket off the back of her chair and her bag, ducking her head into J'onn's office to let him know where she's going on her way out the door. Alex parks in a nearby street, hopping on her motorbike and heading to the scene.

There's a crowd of onlookers that has formed behind the yellow police tape, with cops in uniforms and a few in suits with badges on their belts guarding the perimeter and talking to civilians. Alex manoeuvres her way to the front of the crowd to see what kind of a view she can get of whatever is going on inside. There is a bar that must act as a front for whatever criminal activity has been going on. The alley next to the building has a set of stairs leading down to the basement where much of the attention seems to be focused. Alex can't get much of a view of anything from here. She contemplates just quickly ducking under the police tape and seeing what kind of insight she can get before she gets caught. On second thought, it's never ended well the other times she's done it and she does not want a judgemental Kara paying her bail again. It's all part of the working on herself, she tells herself.

Alex makes her way back through the crowd in the hopes of grabbing a witness or two once the police finish talking to them. However, as soon as she works her way through the bulk of the crowd, she collides with someone, sending their notepad and pen to the floor.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Alex says quickly, immediately kneeling down to pick up the person's dropped items.

Alex stands back up to the unmoving person to return their items only for them to be dropped out of her own hands when she's met with the shocked face of the woman that's been running around her mind for months.

Maggie.

Alex's jaw draws slightly but noticeably. That's really the only thing that she manages to do, standing there frozen still.

Maggie manages a little better. It seems like Maggie had noticed it was Alex before Alex could notice the same, so she's had a few more seconds to react. Maggie bends down and picks up her notepad and pen, standing back up to meet Alex's eye line.

Alex is still stuck. She'd forgotten how beautiful Maggie is in person.

"Danvers," Maggie says, void of emotion.

"Maggie, hi," Alex says with a deep exhale.

"How are you?" Maggie asks even though it's clear that she's uncomfortable.

"I'm good, really good," Alex says. This might be her chance. "How are you?"

"Good."

"That's good," Alex replies, probably a bit too excited.

Maggie nods.

There are a few beats of silence. Alex doesn't really know what to say or how to begin.

"Look, I should be getting back to it. My editor asked me to see what the deal was at the scene."

Maggie gives Alex one last nod and starts to walk past her.

"Wait!" Alex says more loudly than she needed to with Maggie only a few feet away.

Maggie turns around, head tilted to one side and eyebrows slightly scrunched.

"Sorry, I just- could we talk, maybe?"

Maggie sighs and smirks like she already knows what's coming. She nods and walks over to a bit of a clearing to get away from everyone, gesturing for Alex to follow her.

"So, your editor wants you to write a story about this?" Alex says, feeling she should start somewhere neutral rather than get straight into pouring her heart out.

"Yeah," Maggie replies. "I think she wants to get more into alien affairs with the paper. What about you? How are your alien articles going?"

"I actually just got approved to make it a permanent series in the paper. It's starting on Thursday in two weeks time."

"Congrats," Maggie says plainly but with a bit of a smile to show she does mean it.

"Okay, um," Alex stalls, not knowing where to begin. Alex wrings her hands, looking down at them as she thinks. "First, I suppose, I… I want to apologize for how I spoke to you during that phone call a couple of months ago. I was rude and dismissive, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Danvers, really. You don't owe me anything. You don't owe me an explanation."

"I know," Alex says, biting the inside of her bottom lip. "But I'd like to give you one if you'll let me."

Maggie gives her a small smile and a nod, prompting Alex to continue.

"I've-" Alex sighs. "I've done a lot of thinking since… well, since that night. A lot of thinking. And, I guess, I started to rethink some things and really think about why I kissed you when that is something I've never done before. I've never been with a woman before and that night I spend getting to know you… it was probably one of the best nights I've had in a long time."

Maggie raises an eyebrow and her cheeks turn a subtle shade of pink.

Alex brings her hands up to run them through her hair, trying to calm herself and really think about her words. She feels like she's being a bit too forward but she's trying to be really honest and genuine.

"I just mean that it forced me to think about things that I must have been avoiding and without that, I have no idea when I would have been able to face those things. So, thank you."

"You don't need to give me credit for that, Alex. You decided to confront it, you shouldn't underestimate how hard that is to do."

"Yeah," Alex says, a lump in her throat. She can't tear her gaze away from Maggie's deep brown eyes. "I know what I want now. I want to live the rest of my life as who I am, a lesbian."

Maggie smiles at her and it makes her heart jump.

"I'm happy for you, Alex. That's great."

"Thanks."

Alex takes a deep breath. This is her chance. She doesn't want to miss out on it again and have another thing in her life to regret.

"I feel like I'm in a good place at the moment, ready to do things that I wasn't before. Long story short, could I take you out sometime?"

Maggie breaks eye contact for the first time the entire conversation and drops her gaze to her feet and Alex's heart drops with it.

"I'm seeing someone."

"Oh."

"It's fairly new but I think we might be going somewhere. I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't worry. It's okay."

"I really am happy for you," Maggie offers a small, soft smile but Alex can't look at her for more than a second at a time.

"Thanks," Alex speaks out. It's an odd compliment to take, a lovely gesture but it leaves a bitter taste with Alex because it means Maggie doesn't want her. "Well, I should get back to work," Alex says with a dry swallow.

"Of course, me too."

Alex gives her a nod and turns to walk back to the scene.

"I'll see you around, Danvers."

Alex hears that farewell ring in her ears for hours only broken by the sound of whiskey being poured into a glass and her quiet crying into the night.

It's been a couple of weeks and Alex still walks around with a numbness that won't go away. What hurts the most is that Alex was so set on Maggie, so determined to make up for what she ruined the night she met Maggie. If only she had known who she was back then things would be so much easier, with no 'what if' scenarios bombarding her. But she was too late, and she hates herself for it. Why couldn't she have been one of those people who have always known who they are? Wouldn't things have been easier? She wouldn't be where she is now, that's for sure. It feels like mourning a part of herself that could've existed. And it feels like it's all converging right now in this heartbreak.

All the progress she's been making in the last few months has gone out the window. During this whole process of self-discovery, Alex placed a lot of pressure on being with Maggie at the end and now it's all gone.

Kara's been trying to lift her spirits basically every night since Alex told her what had happened. She's organised movie nights and game nights and got food from Alex's favourite restaurants, anything to keep Alex's mind off Maggie. It hasn't worked yet, but it has been sweet, nonetheless. It's still a strange feeling to have the tables turned in their relationship like this but she's happy with the progress they've been making so far.

She's also been fading in and out of her work, not producing the standard of writing that she prides herself on. It's been especially frustrating in the lead up to the release day of her first article for her alien series. It just feels like she can't concentrate which is a strange feeling for her. Usually, when she's stressed or confused, she throws herself into her work. Heartbreak doesn't motivate her the same way apparently.

Her first article in the series is scheduled to be printed tomorrow. J'onn and Kara are very excited about it, but Alex is having a hard time finding her own enthusiasm. Thankfully, her first article was mostly written before her run-in with Maggie, so it's been basically unaffected by her slump.

Alex gets up from her desk and walks over the office's reception desk where the paper copies of the top newspapers from around the country are kept after they get delivered. She can't help it when her attention floats to National City Weekly, the paper that Maggie works at, picking it up and taking it back to her desk.

She flicks through it slowly, like she's actually reading some of the stories when really, she is just searching for the name of the woman who broke her heart and who she can't stop thinking about. When she finds it, she takes a moment to look at the rest of the page and she's caught speechless.

There's a large print banner at the top of the page that reads Aliens Among Us: What We Know and What We Should. Alex keeps scanning the page and finds a title for an article; Alien Abilities and What That Means for Law Enforcement.

Alex scrunches her eyes in confusion. At the top of the page, just under the title for the series, there is a small introduction to the series Aliens Among Us, a new article collection of short thought pieces or informational sections each week about aliens by the one and only Maggie Sawyer.

She feels instantly betrayed like she has been taken advantage of. It's a direct copy of what Alex has been trying to run for the past few months and now Maggie can swoop in with the same idea and get it to run that easily. The day before her own series is set to premiere at that. She feels hurt, again. But this time, it's accompanied by anger. Anger that she wants to act on.

In an instant, Alex has her phone out of her back pocket and is searching for Maggie's name in her contacts. She brings the phone up to her ear, waiting for Maggie to pick up the call.

"Sawyer."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Danvers?"

"It's clear where you get your inspiration from. Aliens Among Us, concept sounds a little familiar, don't you think?"

"Are you serious right now?" Maggie huffs with disbelief.

"Me? I should be asking you that! It's identical to what I've been doing for months and now that it's becoming permanent and has some real backing behind it, it's worth copying."

"You can't talk to me like this. You're not the only one writing about the alien population, you didn't come up with the idea. It's the direction the world is going in. If my editor wants me to write about it, I will. I told you my editor had an interest, that's the whole reason we ran into each other at that crime scene."

"And it's just a crazy coincidence that the first article came out the day before mine does. I told you that when I saw you. I didn't think you would stoop that low."

"You really think I have any control over things like that? Fuck that, if I want to write about aliens, I will."

"That's fine, you can spend the rest of your career riding my coattails. The proof will be in the writing."

"Don't flatter yourself," Maggie says before the line disconnects.

There's a voice in the back of Alex's head that's screaming at her that she made a mistake, that she was wrong. But it's overshadowed by the louder voices of betrayal and pain.

Notes:

I'd love to hear your thoughts! There will be more explanation in the next chapter when Alex and Maggie discuss what happened. Thanks for reading :)

Chapter 10: chapter ten

Summary:

Alex and Maggie have a conversation about their past and make some serious progress with their article.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"I need to apologize for what happened between us two years ago," Alex says, forcing herself to sound confident and sure but her voice still shakes with nerves.

Alex looks up and finds Maggie looking at her with shock and intrigue, waiting for her to continue.

Alex takes a deep breath and bites the inside of her cheek.

"The way I spoke to you, what I accused you of those years ago, was completely unfair and uncalled for. And more importantly untrue. I was…" Alex looks down at her hands nervously sitting in her lap, momentarily struggling to find her words. "I was hurt, and I think I wanted a reason to be angry at you because I didn't have one. You listened to me when you definitely didn't have to. And you were so kind and honest even when you were rejecting me. I was, well, heartbroken and I was searching for an excuse to make you feel as hurt as I was feeling. It was immature and awful. I really am so sorry."

Maggie looks at Alex with soft eyes like she can't quite believe what she's hearing. "Alex…"

Alex can't stand the silence while Maggie figures out what to say so she starts back up again.

"I know I've been an absolute asshole these last two years and I'm really sorry for that as well. I don't expect you to forgive me right away or at all if that's what you want. I just want you to know that I regret what happened and I wish that I could go back and change it. I don't want to be that person anymore."

"Alex," Maggie says again, this time her voice sounds heavy with emotion. "Thank you for saying that. I don't really think I realized how much I was holding onto what you said, it did hurt I'm not going to lie. But I think it fuelled me as well. To be honest, I always had a feeling that your actions were coming from a different place as you said."

Alex feels uncomfortable and embarrassed. Even though it's true, it's hard to hear how clear her pettiness and selfishness was.

"So, I was always taking your words with a grain of salt as hard as that was sometimes. So, thank you for saying something because I always hoped we could get to a better place. And I can't pretend I'm totally innocent. I've treated you badly over the last two years as well and I'm sorry for that too."

"You wouldn't have been like that if I hadn't provoked you."

"I still didn't have to be so rude. If we're both sorry we can move on."

Alex nods.

"I don't know," Maggie says, shaking her head. "I thought about you a lot after that night with you and when I called you a few days later."

Alex basically stops breathing with nerves and anticipation.

"I found myself reading your articles every week and back reading what I could find. Turns out you didn't have to send me the links to them in the end," Maggie laughs softly which thankfully does its job in relieving the tension between them. "I've thought about it a lot and, I don't know, maybe I took a little too much inspiration from your alien series."

Alex shakes her head, but Maggie continues anyway.

"I've always been interested in alien communities and populations. My editor had been getting people on and off to write about aliens. When I told her about your series, how much traction it was receiving and how much it was inspiring me, she wanted to try me on our own version. And then when we met up at that crime scene, it threw me for a bit of a loop. I went back to her and was telling her what happened, I just wanted to confide in her. She had been really the closest I'd had to a friend since I'd arrived in National City. I ended up mentioning the date yours was going to premiere without any ulterior motive. She insisted we take advantage of that information and rush what we were preparing to come out the day before yours," Maggie looks so emotional, her voice full of regret.

"I didn't want to do it. I told her that, but she wouldn't budge. She really wanted me to believe that it would be good for me, but I know she really just saw an opportunity for the paper to get a leg up. That's why I was so eager to leave that job. I couldn't stand my editor. I thought she was being a supportive friend and then she betrayed me and led me to betray you. And I regret it. I should've done more to stop it, I don't know, called you or just straight up refused. But it felt like I didn't have a choice. I know that's not good enough, I'm sorry."

"Maggie, I'm sorry. I mean, it sounds like your editor, your friend, took advantage of your trust. It felt personal when I thought you took that detail that I shared with you and used it against me, but it sounds like it was used against both of us."

Maggie nods, looking like she's trying to compose herself. Alex feels the same.

"You were right back then," Alex continues, "you should be able to write about whatever you want. It was what National City was becoming interested in, what they still are interested in. Just because we were both writing about aliens doesn't mean we were writing about the same things, which we rarely did. I'd read your articles every week and honestly, they were amazing. Made me feel bad that I didn't think of some of those ideas first."

"I felt the same about yours," Maggie says with a small laugh.

"You're writing is brilliant," Alex says looking right into Maggie's eyes. "I should never have insinuated that it wasn't. I'm so glad that we get to work together now."

"Me too," Maggie says with a smile that then falters slightly so she has a more serious look on her face. "You know, I, um..."

Alex scrunches her eyebrows in concern, watching Maggie intently.

Maggie shakes her head slightly. "Nothing, I just, I'm glad we cleared the air."

"Me too," Alex says, a little confused. "So… we're good?" Alex adds, hesitantly.

"Yes," Maggie assures. "We're good."

Alex sighs in relief. It feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off her shoulders for the second time in her life. She's been holding onto this animosity for years that she doesn't really know what her life will be like without it. But she's excited to find out.

"Well, I should go get ready for bed. Busy day tomorrow and all," Alex says.

"Okay, sounds good."

Alex collects her things and goes to the bathroom. Being emotionally exhausted, she quickly washes her face and gets changed in order to get into bed as soon as humanly possible. Alex is about to walk out the door back into their shared bedroom, but she pauses. It's been awkward between them this whole trip. An underlying tension with all their interactions. The unspoken feud between them that had been slowly fading away over the last few days had garnered a different kind of tension than the one where they couldn't stand each other. And now after their conversation tonight Alex is sure it is going to change again.

Alex doesn't really know where she stands when it comes to romantic feelings towards Maggie. It took her a long time to get over her. Or, at least, she thought it took her a while because she'd just assumed it happened somewhere along the way. She'd had a steady girlfriend for about five months, but they separated at the beginning of the year for no particular reason. It just wasn't working out. It's kind of hard to get over someone when you're constantly thinking about them and telling yourself it's because they're a threat to your career.

The worst part is that she knows Maggie would never return her feelings. After everything that's happened, how could she? For all Alex knows, she still has a girlfriend waiting for her at home.

But she's getting ahead of herself. She hasn't looked at Maggie like that in years.

Alex walks out of the room to find Maggie sitting on the bed where Alex left her, scrolling through her phone. Maggie looks up at her like she's going to say something but then nothing comes out.

Maybe it was because Alex was so in her head before, but now she can't help but notice how beautiful Maggie is. Her hair has mostly dry from her shower by now and looks incredibly soft. She's wearing achingly short pyjama bottoms and a loose but clinging shirt.

Alex swallows and walks further into the room around to the side of the bed she slept on last night.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sleep on the floor? I don't mind," Alex asks. She can't not double-check after the conversation they've just had.

Maggie just looks at her with raised eyebrows and Alex smiles to herself, slowly sinking down onto her side of the bed. "Just checking."

There's an awkward silence. Neither of them quite know what to do. It's a difficult thing to air so much history and then try to go back to normal only ten minutes later. But even then, what would their normal be now? It's already changed from the tense, borderline hatred it was only a month ago. In the last few days, they've been nice to each other which was a massive change within itself but there was still an unspoken understanding that their past was holding them back from being close to each other. Now that that's gone, who fucking knows.

"When do you think we'll hear back from Jason about meeting with the aliens?" Maggie asks.

Work. A safe topic.

"Well, he said by morning. Hopefully, they get back to us early. There's only a couple of days until we have to have the story submitted for printing in our column. What we have isn't like the news updates that have been written since the story broke. If we're right, we could expose something huge here. The sooner it gets out there, the better."

"I'd love to talk to them ourselves, really get the Okaarans side of everything. I've never heard anything like the system they have in this small town."

"Neither have I."

They go back to silence again and Alex feels pressured to break it with something, but her mind is torturously blank.

"Well," Maggie says, "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted. I might try and sleep."

"Yeah, yes, sure," Alex stammers. "Me too."

They both switch off their side table lamps and Alex stares at the ceiling in the dark for the next hour, her mind racing with what the next few days could bring.

Alex wakes with the sun yet again. The events of the night before quickly catch up with her and her eyes bolt open to the ugly beige ceiling. She looks over at Maggie who's facing Alex in her sleep, her hair fallen messily over her face and waving with her slow inhales and exhales. A small smile spreads across Alex's face at the cute scene in front of her. She then notices that in the night, Maggie has draped her left arm across Alex's stomach and shifted closer to her.

Alex feels her heartbeat deep in her chest. Having Maggie so close to her and her arm settled across Alex's bare midriff is becoming increasingly overwhelming.

Alex feels the need to vacate the situation immediately and slowly inches herself away from Maggie. She crouches down to go through her suitcase in search of a sports bra and shorts. She needs to go for a run. Alex goes into the bathroom and quickly gets changed, grabbing her headphones and phone before closing the motel room door quietly behind her.

She doesn't quite know where she's going, it's not like there's much choice around here anyway. There aren't a lot of people around this time of the morning, so she gets free reign. Alex just looks straight ahead and runs.

Her head is still stuck on what happened last night; how surprisingly well her apology was received and what Maggie said in return. She also can't help but wonder about where they're going now. Being so close to Maggie brought up something in her that she thought she had moved past. She can't help but think about how all she wanted to do this morning was move closer to Maggie and sweep the hair out of her face.

Alex runs faster.

It's probably been over an hour by the time she makes it back to the hotel. Maggie is awake and dressed by the time Alex gets back. She walks through the door, her breathing heavy and wiping the sweat from her forehead. Maggie is flicking through the channels of the tiny television that's mounted on the wall when Alex enters. Maggie's eyes roam up and down Alex's figure before she turns back to the screen. She must look like a mess in this state. Great.

"I wondered where you'd gone," Maggie says with an expression like she's trying to hide a smirk.

"The best way to start the morning if you ask me," Alex replies, dropping her phone and earphones into her open suitcase on the floor.

"We are different people," Maggie says with a bit of a laugh.

Alex's heart drops just the tiniest bit.

"I mean," Maggie continues, "I don't mind a run, but I prefer to sleep."

Alex nods in understanding.

"I might have a quick shower."

"Okay," Maggie says, watching as Alex collects some clothes to change into.

"I think I might go down to the diner and get some breakfast," Maggie pauses. "Do you want to meet me down there. Once you're done, of course."

"Yeah, sure. I won't be long," Alex replies, going into the bathroom.

Alex listens as Maggie turns off the television and walks out the door of their room. Alex rests her head against the back of the bathroom door, begging for a normal rest of the day.

Alex is only halfway into her walk to the diner when she runs into Maggie who's on her way back, her hands stocked with coffee cups and paper bags.

"What's up?" Alex asks as Maggie gets closer.

"I got a call from Jason," Maggie says, and Alex feels an instant hit of anxiety. "He spoke with the Okaarans and they are willing to meet with us!"

Alex exhales in relief. "That's amazing!"

"Right!" Maggie reiterates. "I thought I'd bring us some food and we could go straight there."

"Oh, thank god. Great idea."

"Black coffee, obviously," Maggie says, handing Alex a cup. "And I had to guess but I got you a poppy seed bagel and some butter packets. I'd offer to swap if you don't like it, but my order can be a little specific."

Alex scrunches her eyes in curiosity. "Poppyseed is fine, thanks," Alex says, turning to start walking back to the motel with Maggie in toe. "But now I need to know your order."

"Hm," Maggie hesitates.

"You can't leave me hanging with that, come on," Alex persists.

"Sesame seed bagel, dry. Double toasted."

"Gross."

"Don't knock it until you try it, Danvers."

"I think I might."

Alex and Maggie made their way to ex-Mayor Baker's house where they met with Tim and Jason for a discussion regarding the conditions of meeting with the Okaarans. Along with general respect and understanding of boundaries, the importance of privacy and anonymity are stressed to them. They've lived in this town for decades in safety and security, that can't be put in jeopardy now.

Alex and Maggie follow behind Jason's car as he guides them to the part of town where the Okaarans live. It's more out of the way than the rest of the town, if that were even possible.

As they drive up, past a lining of trees, they see a small crowd of Okaarans standing outside a small block of houses. The descriptions they read were right. They have yellow skin and white hair, with ridged brows, porcine noses and two tusks that extend from their lower jaw but with the body type of a human. They are of all ages, dressed in civilian clothes.

Jason pulls along to the side of the road, Alex pulling in and doing the same. Jason and Tim get out of the car and Alex and Maggie follow suit, keeping a few steps behind them as the two men greet the Okaarans like old buddies.

"This is Alex Danvers," Tim says to an older Okaaran man. "And this is Maggie Sawyer."

He extends a hand towards Alex which she promptly shakes hand. "I'm Stannak but most humans just call me Stan."

"It's nice to meet you," Alex says.

"You too," Stan replies, who then turns to greet Maggie.

Alex watches the little kid hiding behind his legs who ducks back out of view when they see Alex looking.

"And this," Stan says with a smile and an encouraging hand behind the child's head to guide them into view, "is my son, Moraj, or MJ."

"Hi there, MJ," Maggie says brightly.

MJ gives her a little wave and almost indiscernible 'hi' and Alex can just tell he's a tiny bit infatuated with her already. She really can do that to people.

"Should we go inside?" Stan offers, motioning to the house behind him.

Tim and Jason follow Stan and his son into the house while the others disperse back to their own houses. Alex and Maggie trail behind.

They are greeted into a small living and kitchen area and are invited to take a seat around a dining table.

"A lovely home you have here," Maggie comments.

"Thank you," Stan says, bringing over a jug of water and some glasses. "But you really should be complimenting Tim and Jason, they're the ones who built it for us."

"Wow, really?" Alex says.

"Well, we didn't do it all," Jason says. "We set up a few fundraisers and got some sponsors around town, got a lot of donations. We all pitched in to build all these houses."

"That's amazing," Maggie says.

"They're very generous people," Stan says. "So, Jason explained a little bit about who you are, but I would like to hear it from you."

Alex looks over to Maggie, giving her permission to start.

"Well, we work for the National City Times on a column devoted to raising awareness for issues affecting aliens in today's America and, hopefully, help to inform those who are ignorant to aliens."

"And when we heard about what happened in Beatrice, we got sent by our editor to Nebraska to look into it because we just knew there would be more to it than what the mainstream news was letting on," Alex says. "Anyway, long story short, we found out that a couple of Okaarans were the accused suspects and found our way here."

"I guess," Maggie continues, "what we really want to achieve is to give the other side of the story that doesn't get the attention. In talking to Jason and Tim and doing our own research, we find it hard to believe that those boys were attacked by Okaarans. We would love your help to legitimise that theory and tell us your story because we know how valuable it is to raise your voices."

Stan looks between the two of them for a few seconds, contemplating what they have said.

"I find it hard to believe as well," Stan finally says.

Alex lets out a relieved breath she didn't know she was holding.

"We're not a violent race, typically. However, we're not all the same. But I don't think we're stupid. I don't see why some of our own would want to bring that attention to themselves without any prompting."

"Exactly what we were thinking," Alex says.

"I do worry, though. It's not like we haven't been of interest to law enforcement and media outlets in the past, but we've always tried to prioritize our community. And to do that, we did our best to hide and preserve what we have because it was already more than enough, more than we had expected in living on this planet. But maybe you two have come at the right time. As of late, I have been thinking about the part we could play in the oncoming alien rights movement. Maybe we could be doing more. Maybe what we're doing here is important to more aliens than just us."

"Speaking for myself," Alex says nervously. "I have a very personal connection to aliens, someone very close to me is an alien."

Alex can see Maggie looking directly at her from the corner of her eye.

"I know I can't relate to what you go through personally, but I can start to understand it. I was so in awe and honestly in shock when I found out about a community like yours. There's still so much hatred and segregation in National City. I take what I do very seriously, and I truly believe that what I do, what we do," Alex corrects herself, turning to Maggie to find her looking intently back at her, "has the opportunity to make serious change. I really think that what you have here is extremely commendable and could really open people up to what we could be like as a society if we really tried. And, along with that, hopefully, make people think about how they see alien populations with regards to this news story. How easy it can be to convince people of the easy conclusion that alien populations are violent and destructive and how far from the truth that can really be."

Stan holds eye contact with Alex until a small smile spreads across his face.

"You have quite a way with words, Alex."

"Kind of comes with the job, really."

"Okay, I believe you've convinced me."

Alex can't help a proud smile spread across her face and notices the same for Maggie.

"However, I don't speak for everyone here. I know they all trust me, but I don't believe I am at liberty to put everyone's privacy on the line. I'm happy to share our way of life and our history but I insist on anonymity in regard to our location. We live out here, surrounded by these hills and valleys that keep us mostly hidden unless you know what you're looking for. Don't get me wrong, we're not out here, separated from the rest of Valentine because that's how the town wanted it. When this began many years ago, we thought it was in our best interest and safest to live relatively separate from the rest of the town. I don't want to go back on that decision we made as a group and sacrifice that safety for this story."

"Of course," Maggie says. "We're happy to oblige."

"Definitely," Alex adds. "May I ask, though, they haven't caught the Okaarans that they think did it, do you think it was someone from your community?"

"I don't think so. I haven't noticed anyone leave recently and I think if someone here got themselves caught up in this, they would've come to us. We're quite close here."

"So, there are other Okaarans across the state?"

"Some, I'm sure. We've had people who've left over the years and some that have come to us later than when we first settled here. Just like regular humans, some people have different plans for their lives. Some want to continue the foraging life that we had on Okaara and thought that our way of life here is conforming to an Earth lifestyle that we have no business assimilating with. Obviously, the people here are happy to be here with our sense of safety and community. I'm not to say how anyone chooses to live their life."

"We wouldn't want to bring undue attention to your community if law enforcement decides to still pursue a criminal investigation into an Okaaran. Not disclosing your location would be important for a few reasons," Alex says.

"That's a good point," Stan says.

Alex and Maggie spend the better part of the morning speaking with Stan who tells them the story of how they came to live in a community so close and in harmony with the humans of Valentine. He tells the same story that Tim told them about Stan saving the life of Jason one night over a decade ago and what followed for the two species' to be able to set up a life of co-existing and standing by their alien neighbors.

Alex and Maggie spend the rest of their afternoon and into the night in the trusty old diner, writing up the article. They've made it through many cups of coffee and many plates of pancakes in the process of compiling their evidence and creating their structure. It's clear that it's already going to be a long piece in an attempt to include all the background of the investigation into the attack in Beatrice and then going to the history of Okaarans on their planet and then on Earth. They decide the best way to go about it is to divide and conquer, writing different sections of the article between them.

She hasn't written one piece of writing with someone else in a long time, probably since a torturous group project in college. Alex is notoriously a bit of a lone wolf in her work and in all aspects of her life really. That's probably why she hasn't been able to hold down a girlfriend more than a few months.

Collaborating with Maggie on this article though is going much smoother than she would've predicted at the beginning of this trip. They are bouncing off each other and balancing the other with ease. It feels natural.

Definitely unexpected.

"How are you going?" Maggie asks.

"Pretty good, I think," Alex says, promptly followed by a yawn.

Maggie laughs. "Maybe a bit tired as well?"

Alex rolls her eyes and tries to hide a smile. "Maybe."

"Do you want to go back to the motel? Deadline isn't until tomorrow night, I think we've done enough to finish it before then if we call it a night?"

"Yeah, sure. It's been a long day."

They start packing up the table of their booth, gathering all the notes and news stories they've collected along the way as well as the information given to them by J'onn and Ian. Alex takes the time to double-check that she's saved her Word document and emailed it to herself as a backup. Their waitress sees them packing up and comes over to deliver the check, leaving it between them on the table. Maggie puts her card down and gives it back to the waitress before Alex can get a hold of it.

"Hey, you paid for breakfast," Alex comments. "You should have let me get this one."

Maggie just shrugs. "I'm sure you'll make it up to me."

They make the quick drive back to the motel and start to lug their things back up to their room when they run into Piper, the receptionist at the motel.

"Good evening, girls," she says with a wide smile and thick southern accent.

Alex and Maggie both offer a small greeting that definitely does not match Piper's energy level.

"Oh, I'm glad I ran into you two," Piper says, and Alex and Maggie regretfully stop to listen. "The wedding party that we're taking up the majority of the rooms left this afternoon. I can move one of you into another room if you like. I just got done flipping them."

"Oh," Alex says. She wasn't expecting that.

Maggie and Alex look at each other.

"Well, yeah, I guess," Maggie says.

"No reason not to," Alex adds.

"Yes, great. That would be good, thank you," Maggie says to Piper.

"Great!" Piper says, excitedly. "I'll move you next door to your current room. I'll just run and get the key and meet one of you there!

Alex and Maggie stand there for a few seconds watching Piper's retreating figure.

"Where does she find the energy to be that excited all the time?" Maggie says laughing to herself.

"She reminds me of my sister with an accent."

"Growing up with that sounds… interesting," Maggie says, turning to walk back to their room which won't be their room for much longer.

"Well, at least I got fourteen years of peace and quiet," Alex says following behind her.

"Oh, yeah. She was adopted, right?"

"Yeah, when we were teenagers."

"Well, she seemed nice when I met her a few weeks ago, definitely a lot of excited energy to her though," Maggie says fondly. "A wonder how so little of that rubbed off on you."

Alex is shocked for a second until she sees Maggie smiling at her, clearly just trying to joke with her. It reminds her of the way Maggie was with her the night they spent in that bar.

"Ouch," Alex mocks. "You should count yourself lucky I'm not like that twenty-four-seven, you would have been begging Piper to change rooms."

"I don't know, your sister doesn't strike me as a person who sleeps on the floor waiting for me to trip over her rather than ask to share a bed."

Alex hesitates. "You've got me there. You'd be surprised the number of times she's insisted on sleeping in my bed during the time we shared an apartment after college."

"Wow. This is definitely a whole, unknown side to you, Danvers."

They make it to the door to their room and Maggie takes her key out of her back pocket to unlock the door.

Alex drops her arm full of papers and her laptop onto the couch, perching herself on the arm of the chair. She watches Maggie who places her things on the bed, looking around awkwardly until she meets Alex's eyes.

"I don't mind packing up my stuff and moving. I mean, unless you would rather have a different room," Alex says.

"Well, it will take me much less time," Maggie says with a bit of a laugh, nodding her head in the direction of Alex's open suitcase which is more like a pile of clothes and belongings with the suitcase as a barrier around them.

"Ouch," Alex says, hand over her heart like she's been stabbed. "You would be surprised at how good I am at packing it when it's like that."

"As tempting as that is, and it really is, I don't mind."

"Okay," Alex says, a hint of sombreness in her voice that she hopes Maggie doesn't notice. "If you're sure."

"It's totally fine, honestly."

Maggie takes only a few minutes to pack up everything into her insanely organized suitcase and meets Piper next door for the key to her new room. Alex spends the rest of the night ignoring the loneliness that she feels in their old room. A loneliness she feels like she only got rid of twenty-four hours ago just to have it back already.

Notes:

I wonder what Maggie was going to say...

Chapter 11: chapter eleven

Summary:

Maggie and Alex finish their article in Nebraska and take an unexpected stopover before heading back home.

Notes:

Thanks for coming back! Hope you're all staying safe :)

Chapter Text

Alex wakes up strikingly alone in her bed. She had only shared a bed with Maggie for two nights but now she feels like something is missing without her.

Alex takes longer than she usually would to get up and get ready to go for her daily morning run. She hopes that this will be the last time she has to run around these streets. It's not as though important and incredible things haven't happened here, not only regarding writing what might be the article of her career up until now. But she can't wait to see her sister again and for things to get back to normal.

What is her normal now though?

She and Maggie aren't the people they were when they left National City, there's no telling what could happen when they go back to their shared office. It would be just as easy for them to drift apart as it would be for them to become closer. The idea of either is intimidating.

Alex makes it back her room just in time to pick up Kara's incoming phone call.

"Hello?" Alex answers through her rapid breathing.

"Hey, Alex," Kara replies.

Alex sighs. She only talked to her a few days ago but she missed the comfort Kara can bring her.

"Hey Kara," Alex says, sitting down on the side of the bed as her puffing starts to subside.

"So, tell me everything that happened! Are you okay?" Kara laughs.

"It's been an… interesting day and a half since we spoke, that's for sure."

"Don't leave me hanging then!"

"Well, we made some huge progress on the story and we've been writing all afternoon yesterday. I think we'll be able to get it all written by today."

"That's great, Alex, but I know there's something else on your mind. Come on now, spill!"

"Okay, okay," Alex takes a second to collect her thoughts and where she should begin. "After talking to you about feeling guilty about the stupid feud between Maggie and me, I went and apologized to her for accusing her of stealing my work and everything I've done since then."

"That's amazing, Alex. You should be proud of yourself, I am."

"A little, yeah. I'm more just relieved that we were able to talk it out and she doesn't hold it against me."

"She forgave you?"

"Yeah. She apologized for how she has acted over the last couple of years as well and we talked through it all. It was just a really good conversation. I'm just happy we're on good terms again."

"That's great, Alex."

"Yeah," Alex says with relief.

"So, did you guys sort anything else out?" Kara asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what really happened between you?"

"What are you talking about?" Alex says although it's fairly obvious what Kara is talking about.

"You know," Kara pauses. "The fact that you kissed and then you rejected her and then realised you're a lesbian so tried to get back with her and then you asked her out but-"

"Okay, okay," Alex stops her. "I mean, we touched on it. Like I explained where I was coming from during that time and she did a little bit as well. But we didn't go into it."

Kara asks her the question she's been asking herself all week. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

"I…" Alex starts, hoping she'll find the answer as she continues talking but the plan fails her. "I don't know. Maybe? But I don't know how she feels about. Even if I would want it to go anywhere, with all the history we have it would probably be a disaster waiting to happen."

"Maybe. But maybe there was so much tension between you over the last few years is because you still care about each other. Maybe you still had to find a way to be in each other's lives in some way."

She's been having those thoughts in the back of her mind this whole trip, if there was more than a feud between them these few years. But either way, Alex knows she couldn't face having feelings for Maggie and being shot down again. It was so hard the first time.

"Maybe, Kara," Alex sighs. "Right now, I just want to be friends with her. That's a lot considering what our relationship has been for most of the time we've known each other."

"You're right. I'm really glad you two were able to sort it out. That's a huge step."

"Yeah," Alex says, a bit lost in her thoughts.

"Well, I'll let you go. I'm sure you have a lot of writing to do. Do you think you'll be back soon?"

"Yeah, a few days maybe. We don't really have anything left to do here. We just have to finish writing and then make our way back to the airport and then home."

"Yay! I've missed you. Let me know when you'll get back, I'll see if I can pick you up from the airport"

"Okay, I will."

"See you soon, hopefully."

"Hopefully. Bye."

Alex ends the call and looks around her empty room. While she definitely can't wait to get out of here, she feels a pang in her chest when she thinks about this trip with Maggie ending.

Maggie and Alex meet at the diner again for breakfast and get straight into finishing the article. Alex doesn't let her conversation with Kara this morning distract her, her eyes and mind solidly focused on the article in front of her. Maggie is the same, head down and fingers skating across her laptop keyboard.

After several cups of coffee and multiple walks around the block to keep their circulation going, the article is put together and finalised.

Alex sits with her elbows on the table and her head in her hands as she watches Maggie finishes her final read-through of the article. Alex is a faster reader than Maggie but she's not the most patient person.

It allows Alex to do what she hasn't been letting herself do all day, really look at Maggie. She watches as Maggie's eyes move left to right across her screen and how the corner of her lips peak up into a small smile now and again. She knows that she feels something for her but can't identify whether it's just happiness that her feud with Maggie is over or whether her feelings for her have returned. Or possibly more accurately, rediscovered. But it doesn't feel like it did the first time she had a crush on Maggie. If she did have feelings for Maggie, wouldn't it feel like it did back then?

Maggie abruptly sits back against the booth and sighs, knocking Alex out of her trance.

"It's good," Maggie says.

"It better be!" Alex replies and Maggie laughs.

"Should we send it off?" Maggie says with a proud smile.

"I'm happy if you are."

"So happy," Maggie laughs, and Alex joins her.

Alex watches as Maggie taps away at her laptop.

"There! Sent to J'onn."

"Wow."

"Wow is right."

"It's… actually done."

"After everything that happened on this trip, we were able to turn it out. Part of me didn't think we'd be able to do that when we first got here," Maggie says with a nervous laugh.

"Me neither," Alex says.

They share a solemn moment of just looking at the other. Alex feels a fluttering in her heart at being watched at so closely, almost intimately.

Alex's ringtone breaks the moment. It's J'onn.

"Hey, J'onn."

"Hi, Alex. I just got Maggie's email. You're both done with it then?"

"Yep. Pretty happy with it, actually," Alex says, smiling up at Maggie.

"Great, I'm excited to read it. To be honest, I expected more phone calls of complaint from you this trip. I expect you'll both be coming back alive?"

"Haha, very funny," Alex says, rolling her eyes which makes Maggie scrunch her eyebrows and tilt her head in curiosity. "Do you want us to do anything else here before we head back to National City?"

"If you two have done all you wanted to there, I have no reason for you to stay. Do you want me to get my assistant to organise a flight back?"

"I'll talk to Maggie and get back to you."

"Okay, I'll see you when you get back."

"See you then," Alex says, hanging up.

"We on our way back?" Maggie asks.

Alex sighs, whether out of relief or reluctance of the unknown waiting for them on their return she doesn't know.

"On our way back."

While she waits for Maggie to pack up her room, Alex sits on the bed in her room looking at hotel rooms in Lincoln where they can sleep for the night before their flight at seven the next morning. The major hotel in Lincoln partially collapsed in on itself yesterday and its structural integrity is being questioned so they aren't housing any guests. It also means that all their hundreds of guests have been relocated to all the smaller hotels in the area and Alex hasn't had any success in finding one with availabilities.

Maggie knocks on Alex's open door before she enters, dragging her suitcase behind her.

"Any luck?" Maggie asks.

"Nope," Alex says, not looking up from her laptop. "J'onn's assistant is looking too but I don't think we'll be able to find anywhere in the city for tonight. Maybe I could look up surrounding cities? But by the time we find one, call them, drive there and check-in, we'd probably only get an hour or two of sleep before we have to wake up and make the drive to the airport. It's already almost dark out."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"Well, maybe," Maggie starts, biting her bottom lip like she's considering her next statement. "My Aunt Lexi only lives less than an hour from the airport and she has a spare room. I could ask her if she would mind putting us up for the night?"

"Oh, yeah, great. I mean, if you're comfortable with that and your aunt is happy to have us, then totally."

Maggie smiles. "I'll go give her a call."

Maggie comes back a few minutes later with permission from her aunt to stay the night at her house. They load up the car with their luggage and Alex takes the first shift driving.

As she drives, Alex starts to feel increasingly nervous about meeting Maggie's aunt. They talked about her aunt on the night they met but only in snippets, not in detail. If she's honest, she doesn't know a lot about Maggie at all, let alone her past. Maggie doesn't seem like the type to share much of herself with people and yet that's exactly what Alex finds herself craving. Not only has she spent the last few years with a death grip on a false idea of this woman, but she is also infinitely fascinated with everything about her.

But that's normal. Right?

After a rest stop to get some dinner and swap drivers, Alex and Maggie arrive at Lexi's house. It's just outside the city so she has a decent-sized piece of land with a small house in comparison. It's dark out now but Alex can see there are lights on through the window.

"Well, we're here," Maggie says. She fumbles around with the controls in the car before switching off the engine and getting out to collect her things from the trunk.

Alex follows her, lifting her suitcase out of the car and trails behind Maggie up the rocky path to the front door. Maggie hesitates, visibly deciding whether or not to knock on the door or go straight in as if this was her home. Maggie brings her fist up and knocks. Alex hears what sounds like scampering behind the door before the door is swiftly opened.

Maggie's aunt is older, possibly around sixty years old. Her hair is slightly greying but brown otherwise. She's wearing loose, flowing clothes with a tie-dyed poncho over the top. As soon as she sees the two of them, she breaks out in an enormous smile. The Labrador at her feet gallops in circles with the same excitement.

"Maggie," Lexi exclaims, going straight in for a hug with her niece.

"I only saw you a few days ago," Maggie laughs, mumbling into Lexi's shoulder just loud enough for Alex to also hear.

Lexi pulls back, her hands still on Maggie's upper arms. "Yes, a couple of days ago for the first time in over a year. Just making up for lost time."

She turns to Alex, her smile never fading. "And you must be, Alex."

"Yes, it's nice to meet you- oh!" Alex exclaims, surprised when Maggie's aunt goes straight in for a hug.

Lexi pulls back to look at Alex. "I've heard a lot about you, it's great to finally meet you. I've been reading your articles, you're very talented."

"Oh, well, thank you. That's very nice of you."

"Come in, come in!"

Alex and Maggie navigate them and their suitcases through the door. Maggie kneels to greet the excited dog at her feet.

"And this is-" Lexi starts.

"Peach, right?" Alex suggests, digging the name out of some deep memories she'd once hoped she could've forgotten forever.

Maggie looks at her with shock and intrigue to which Alex just shrugs. She feels incredibly exposed under Maggie's gaze like she's said more than she should've. Alex turns to look at Lexi who's looking between the two of them with a devilish smile.

"That's right," Lexi says.

Peach walks over to her and Alex leans down to pat her head while she looks up at her with a lazy smile and tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth. It makes Alex smile and laugh softly.

"She's very cute," Alex comments.

"I only got her on Maggie's continued insistence but now she's my best friend. Have you two eaten? I made some fried rice and then scones for dessert."

"Sounds great," Maggie says.

Alex and Maggie follow Lexi through to the kitchen. It's the type of home you imagine when someone says the word 'homey'. There are flowers on almost every surface you can see. There are several bookshelves full to the brim with all kinds of novels and magazines. There are photos and artwork hung up all around the house, some of them of teenage Maggie and her aunt which Alex takes a second longer to walk past so she can get a better look.

When they get to the kitchen, they both get a small bowl of rice, having last eaten about three hours earlier.

"So, how has the trip been?" Lexi asks as they sit around the small dining table.

Alex and Maggie look at each other.

"Really good," Maggie says, still looking at Alex before turning back to her aunt. "Very productive."

"I think our article turned out extremely well," Alex adds.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Alex, tell me a bit about yourself. Where are you from originally?"

"I grew up in Midvale."

"Lovely warm weather there, I wish I lived there, I could grow all the succulents and sunflowers I want. Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a younger sister, Kara."

"Are you close?"

"Very. She's actually my adopted sister, she came to live with us when I was fourteen and she was twelve, but we've been pretty inseparable ever since. Inseparable to a fault really. It's better now, though. She's like my best friend," Alex says that last bit mostly for Maggie's benefit. Subconsciously, Alex wants to show Maggie that things have improved between her and Kara since she first discussed her relationship with Kara during her evening with Maggie.

"That's lovely, being so close with your family. I wish Mags here lived closer," Lexi says, moving her hand to rest on top of Maggie's as Alex tries not to smile too much at the sweet nickname they share.

"So, what's it like working with Maggie?" Maggie looks to Alex, a mix of panic and curiosity on her face. "If it's anything like living with her, I'm so sorry."

Maggie straight turns to her aunt, her face now showing annoyance.

"You know I'm joking, honey," Lexi clarifies with a laugh before turning back to Alex for her answer.

"Well," Alex starts. She gathers that Maggie has never spoken to Lexi about her and Maggie's relationship, professional or otherwise. If she had, Lexi probably wouldn't be asking. So, Alex decides to answer truthfully.

"We got off to a bit of a rocky start, I guess you could say," Alex says, turning to look at Maggie. "But working with her is a privilege and I look forward to working with someone as intelligent and talented as her as long as I have the opportunity."

Maggie's gaze feels so overwhelming Alex is forced to look away and back to Lexi. "But, to be honest, her driving has me crossing my fingers at times."

Maggie scoffs in amused insult. "Rude."

"That may be my fault," Lexi adds, sheepishly raising her hand. "I've been known to be a bit of a drag racer at times."

"That's nothing compared to her road rage."

"The number of people I come across who you'd think got their license from a cereal box. Someone has to set them right!" Maggie exclaims.

Alex, Maggie and Lexi continue to talk for the next couple of hours, discussing their upcoming article and enjoying dessert. Peach lays right next to Maggie's chair the entire time, looking up at her with love and Maggie leans down periodically to scratch her behind the ear.

Lexi yawns. "Well, I might call it a night. Alex, I set up the fold-out couch in the living room, I hope that's okay."

"That's great, thank you. And thank you for the meal, it was lovely."

"No trouble at all. Try not to stay up too late, you two. You have an early flight." Lexi goes to walk out of the room, passing by Maggie and planting a kiss on her forehead. "Good night."

"Good night," both Alex and Maggie reply.

They sit in silence for a second. Alex is all too aware that Maggie has been visibly nervous ever since they arrived at her aunt's house like there's an element of pressure and vulnerability that comes with this meeting. They have come a long way this week but maybe they didn't come far enough to be in this situation. But it was Maggie that suggested it in the first place so it should be okay, right? Maggie and her aunt seem really close like she spent a lot of time with her growing up.

"Your aunt is really sweet," Alex comments when the silence becomes too much.

"Yeah, she's great. In a lot of ways really," Maggie says, staring down at her finger as it circles the rim of her glass of water.

"It feels so cosy and homey here. My house growing up was always so organised and put together as if no one lived there."

Maggie just nods slightly.

"It's a mystery that I ended up as messy as I am," Alex pauses, waiting to see if Maggie is going to say something. It's as though she's deep in thought. "I blame Kara. I don't know why but it probably is. Her frantic energy rubbing off on me, maybe."

"My parents' house was like that as well," Maggie says only just above a whisper. "Nothing was ever out of place, sterile in a way. In that regard, it was definitely a shock when I came to live here."

Alex raises her eyebrows in shock and intrigue, but she quickly corrects herself to not come off as judgemental as Maggie is surely looking at Alex in the corner of her eye.

"I came to live with Lexi when I was fourteen," Maggie says with more confidence now, looking up at Alex. "My parents had kicked me out of the house after they found out I was gay."

Alex can't control her facial reaction to that admission, her jaw falling and her eyes beginning to prick with the hint of tears. It's like she got punched in the throat, all the wind being knocked out of her. It's completely awful.

"I had a crush on this girl in my history class. It took me over a year to decide to tell her how I felt. I really thought she felt the same way. We were so close; we loved the same movies, we shared in each other's struggles, we had sleepovers every other night. We were basically inseparable," Maggie says, drifting off into her thoughts for a second with a sombre look on her face.

"Anyway, I left a note in her locker telling her how I felt and asking her to go to the school dance with me. She told her parents who then told mine and, I'll be damned, is that a night I'll remember forever," Maggie says, trying to sound jovial and play it off like it's not this monumental, heartbreaking moment in her past. "And, well, I think you can imagine the rest."

"Maggie," Alex says, both not knowing what to say and the only thing she can manage at the moment.

"It's times like these when I hate that Lexi doesn't drink alcohol," Maggie says, standing from her chair and walking into the attached kitchen, putting her plate in the sink and starting to wash it.

Alex also stands, bringing her plate and cup over to the sink, setting it on the bench next to Maggie.

"Maggie," Alex starts, "For whatever it's worth, I'm so sorry for what you went through. It's awful, you didn't deserve it."

Maggie puts her washed up plate on the drying rack, then taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the edge of the counter, bowing her head.

"I don't tell that story to everyone. Or really anyone. But I wanted to tell you," Maggie turns and looks up at Alex. "Because since you told me what was going on with you back then, I've been thinking about how much I recognised it. That heartbreak of the first person you truly have feelings for not returning them, all after years of confusion and long nights of inner turmoil, it's not an easy thing to accept. I was angry. There was a lot to be angry at in that situation don't get me wrong. But I was still angry she didn't want me."

Alex's throat begins to tighten at Maggie's words.

"Maybe I had an idea of what was happening with you back then and maybe over time your anger turned into something different, something unnecessary. And I kept up my own snarky, bitter facade over the last two years as well, don't get me wrong. But I don't want you to think my coming out was easy for me or that I was on some kind of high horse because I knew who I was when we met. Or that I judged you for not knowing. And I don't want you to think that I was upset with you for not knowing your sexuality when I asked you to go out with me, I know it's hardly ever straight forward. No pun intended."

They both chuckle through heavy hearts.

"Sorry, I'm probably making this all about myself now which was definitely not my intention," Maggie says, wiping at the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"No, no, it's-" Alex sighs. "I thought I-" Alex pauses to rephrase, "I did miss my chance with you, and it sucked. It was like no heartbreak I'd ever experienced, and it made me do stupid things and behave like a teenager. Which is probably why most people experience this when they are teenagers," Alex says with a small laugh.

"I don't know," Alex continues, "I guess I had it in my head that when I saw you again it would be like the end of some cheesy romantic comedy and our fairy-tale ever after would begin when really it was more like a kind of anticlimactic season finale and they decide to bring in a new love interest while the first one gets pushed to the side."

Maggie smiles. "You watch a lot of TV."

"Too much, yeah," Alex laughs too. "And I am sorry again for everything I did during that time," Alex says more seriously.

"You don't have to apologise again, it's alright," Maggie adds.

Alex nods, thinking to herself. "It is comforting to know that you were taking my actions with a grain of salt and that you didn't hate me as much as I thought you did. Because I definitely didn't hate you as much as I thought I did."

Maggie smiles up at Alex, her soft, wide eyes focused on Alex's. Alex chances the quickest and minutest of glances to Maggie's lips before returning her eyes to meet Maggie's.

"I'm glad to hear that," Maggie says. "You had every right to turn me down back then, whether or not you knew your sexuality at the time. But after that night, even though it was such a short time, I really liked you."

Alex's heart speeds up, hanging onto each word Maggie's saying.

Maggie shakes her head, laughing softly. "I'm sure you had no trouble moving on from me. Someone like you must've had plenty of women waiting at your door."

Alex laughs uncomfortably. "You'd be surprised. I mean, there hasn't been no one though," Alex insists, feeling self-conscious. "I spent a couple of months with someone, but it just didn't work out, I guess." After a pause, Alex adds, "what about you and your girlfriend?"

"Oh," Maggie says. "That didn't end up lasting as long as I expected. She thought I was too career-focused and socially hostile. You know, the usual."

"That's ridiculous."

"Nah, it's fine," Maggie says, trying hard to casually brush it off. "She wasn't the nicest person. In the end. There's more fish in the sea, as they say."

"Yeah," Alex says, shifting her gaze down to Maggie's lips again. "Plenty."

Alex meets Maggie's eyes again and she's completely drawn in. Maggie is looking back at Alex with the same intensity and Alex is barely able to breathe regularly.

"I should probably finish washing up," Maggie says, clearing her throat and looking back at the sink. "It's getting late we have an early flight in the morning."

"Yeah, of course," Alex says, running her hand through her hair. "Do you want a hand?"

"No, no, it's okay. It won't take long."

"Okay. I might go get ready for bed then."

"Yeah, no worries. The bathroom is down the hall, first door on the right."

"Great, thanks," Alex says, stopping by her suitcase to grab her toiletries bag and finding the bathroom.

Alex looks at herself in the mirror, feeling like she can finally breathe normally for the first time since she entered this house. She'd wanted to apologise for her actions in accusing Maggie of copying her but hadn't really considered how much they needed to have a conversation about their feelings. Not only did it clear the extra level of awkwardness between them, but it also confirmed something for Alex.

Her feelings for Maggie are definitely back. If they ever left at all.

Chapter 12: chapter twelve

Summary:

Alex and Maggie make their way back to National City.

Notes:

Hi! Thank you for coming back :) I'm trying to get this done, only one chapter left to write. I'm still really proud of this and it will not be incomplete. It's hard when you lose your love for something, really because it was a painful thing in the end. But I still love sanvers and this story. I really do thank you for sticking with it!

Chapter Text

The alarm blaring from Alex's phone wakes her from a shallow, restless sleep. She groans as she blindly searches around the bed to find the source of the insufferable noise. She finds her phone and opens her eyes just enough to press 'stop' on the screen instead of 'snooze'. She lets her head fall back on the pillow, careful to keep her eyes open enough so that she won't fall right back to sleep which is difficult given the sun hasn't even shown itself yet.

She's had last night's events running around her head all night long. Maggie's confession, or should she say, confessions. First, the events of her coming out which were heartbreaking. And then the revelation that Maggie had stronger feelings for her than Alex had ever considered. Plus, she's single.

Oh, and the worst part; her feelings for Maggie are definitely back and she has no idea what to do about it.

She grumpily turns to lie on her back, opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling. She hates that these feelings are back. She doesn't want to be attracted to Maggie, especially now when things between them are becoming civil and, dare she say, enjoyable. The only two capacities she ever thought about her and Maggie in were as enemies or as a couple during her weaker and more idealistic days. She never thought of them as becoming friends. But now that's where they're heading and is there any point in ruining that with her feelings? Probably not but who knows how sustainable that will be.

Alex wipes her eyes and sits up, looking around Maggie's aunt's lounge room. She takes an extra deep breath, hoping it'll bring some needed energy to her body and help her get out of bed. There's a hue of sunshine starting to rise, helping her navigate the dark room and find a set of clothes to wear to the airport and her toiletries.

After stubbing a toe and muttering several swear words, Alex is up with what she needs to get ready for the day and heads in the general direction of where she remembers the bathroom to be.

The ringing in her head from her sleepless night is Alex's excuse for not hearing the running water from the shower in the bathroom as she candidly opens the door to find a naked Maggie standing under the showerhead. It happens quickly but it's agonisingly slow for Alex as her eyes adjust to the light of the bathroom and she then focuses on Maggie's strikingly dark hair splayed against her tanned back. Maggie turns around at the noise and now Alex's eye line is perfectly lined up to get a side profile view of Maggie's breasts, her arms reaching above her head, washing the product out of her hair.

She feels a deep thud in her chest like she just returned from light speed and her senses finally kick in. Alex's gaze rises as Maggie's head turns to meet hers. Alex's jaw falls open like she's about to say something and she quickly closes it again.

"I-" Alex says, full of horror and panic. "Sorry."

Alex fights against her shocked paralysis and ducks her head, her gaze falling with it and getting one last look at Maggie through the fogged, raindrop painted glass before turning and closing the door behind her. Alex drops back against the outside of the door, her eyes squeezed shut and her head falling back against the wood with the thump. Alex feels a pulling in her abdomen at the sight of Maggie's naked body, resisting the urge to squeeze her thighs together for some kind of satiation that she definitely does not deserve.

A bolder Alex might have walked in and taken what she wants from Maggie. This, of course, in the alternate reality where Maggie has the same feelings for her.

Her head flashes with what it would be like to touch Maggie in such an open, vulnerable state. How she could glide her hands over Maggie's hips, tracing the outline of each of her ribs until she reached the underside of her breasts earning a gasp from Maggie. Alex taking the opportunity to capture Maggie's lips with hers, swallowing her whimpers as Alex teases her nipples, feeling them grow stiff under her touch.

As if Alex's world hasn't been already knocked out from underneath her enough times during this trip, she feels the full impact of it this time. The bathroom door she was leaning against is quickly pulled out from behind her and Alex tumbles backwards until her head hits against the tile of the bathroom.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Maggie says, worried.

Alex forces herself to open her eyes, doubting her ability to just fade away into the floor and cease to exist. Maggie is backlit by the ceiling light and looking down at Alex. Her wet hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head and it looks like she's quickly thrown on a pair of black jeans and a plain, army green t-shirt. It's not even something that would typically be 'attractive', but it definitely doesn't help Alex's current situation.

"Ow," Alex mumbles, prompting a small laugh from Maggie.

"Come on, you," Maggie says, reaching out a hand to help Alex up. Alex accepts the hand and even though it's not the kind of contact she was imagining just moments ago; it still sets her nerves on fire.

"Some things never change," Maggie remarks and Alex gives her an inquisitive look, completely standing now. "The night we met. You fell right in front of me," Maggie says, grinning at the memory.

Alex's heart jumps, wondering if Maggie remembers the events of that night with the fondness that she does.

"Well, if you remember correctly, I didn't let you help me get back up that time."

Maggie's face softens, dropping her gaze. "Well, there you go. Things can change."

Well, she knows that to be true. The way her feelings for Maggie have changed over the years is enough proof of that. Or at least her stance towards those feelings has shifted. Even within the last few days.

Alex suddenly realises that she's still holding onto Maggie's hand drops it. Maggie puts both of her hands in her back pockets.

"Um, I'm really sorry about… walking in… not knocking…," Alex trails off, struggling to make eye contact with Maggie. "I must've been half asleep and it just didn't occur to me to knock or listen for anything first. I'm an idiot, sorry."

"No, no, it's fine," Maggie says, bringing her arms up to cross over her chest. "It was a late night and a very early morning. Don't stress about it. Can't go back now."

That along with so many other things about Maggie.

Alex nods.

"Do you want to...?" Maggie asks, indicating behind her at the bathroom.

"Oh, no it's fine. You finish up. I'll, um, make us some coffee."

Maggie nods and gives Alex a small smile. "Sounds good. I won't be long."

"Take your time," Alex assures, sighing a deep breath and hanging her head in her hands when Maggie closes the door.

She silently beats herself up at how disastrous the last ten minutes have been as she walks to the kitchen. Her expectation to get the chance to calm her heartbeat after that series of events is soon ruined with a shock when she walks back to the kitchen.

"Well, that sounded interesting," Lexi says, smirking and holding a mug up to her mouth. "Oh, and a bit late on the coffee."

Alex's eyes go wide and a hand instinctively covers her heart, trying to shield her from the surprise at finding Maggie's aunt only metres from one of the most awkward conversations of Alex's life.

Alex doesn't really know what to say so she just nods and mumbles a 'morning'. She doesn't move from her spot, not really knowing where to go or how she should be acting.

"I made a whole pot," Lexi adds, indicating to the coffee maker on the kitchen counter. "Mugs are in the top left cupboard. There's sugar on the counter."

"Thanks," Alex says, loud enough this time that it's actually audible.

She walks over to the cupboard and pours herself some of the freshly made black coffee. Alex turns around to face Lexi again who indicates to a seat at the dining table, so Alex moves into the chair, settling her mug on the table.

"Excited to be going back to National City?" Lexi asks. It sounds like an innocent enough question, but it feels like there's something deeper underneath it.

It's honestly a question that Alex has been thinking about for the last couple of days. She misses her sister, her usual job, her apartment, her own bed and her motorbike. But she doesn't want to have to miss Maggie being around her twenty-four/seven which will inevitably happen.

Something about Lexi's gaze makes her want to tell the truth.

"Yes and no."

Lexi doesn't say anything, just waiting for Alex to cave into continuing.

"The trip has been exhausting and I can't wait to get back to normal," Alex pauses. "But it's been fun and interesting and… important, I guess. It's like we came here and so much has changed between us and I don't know what's going to happen when we get back. I don't think I'll be able to handle her hating me again."

When Alex's realises the intimacy of what she just said, she looks up to find Lexi studying her, but Alex struggles to hold her gaze.

"There are people in this world that Maggie may hate or people who have hurt her," Lexi says calmly, and Alex's mind immediately goes back to their conversation last night about Maggie's parents. "But she doesn't talk about them. She doesn't give them the power or the space inside her."

"But she talks about you. Before you worked together, she talked about the work you were doing, the events you were both at, details about your writing style. I don't think she ever really hated you. And she definitely doesn't now."

Alex feels an unexpected amount of comfort at Lexi's words. Kara would say that she endured the same conversations over the last two years as well. Maybe things won't take a turn for the worse when they get back.

"You know, I've never really met any of Maggie's girlfriends before. She didn't have one in high school and then she was in college and building a career and one never lasted or was important enough for me to get the opportunity to meet. But I'd love to see you again."

Alex's eyes go wide and she opens and closes her mouth a few times. "We're not- She doesn't- It's not like th-"

"I know."

At that moment, Maggie enters the room, her hair dried and her make up done. She looks as beautiful as ever.

"You're up early," Maggie says to her aunt.

"Well, I wasn't about to let you leave without spending a little more time together."

Maggie walks over and pours her own mug of coffee, taking a sip. Maggie moans in pleasure and Alex has to try really hard to pretend it doesn't affect her.

"I really needed that. Thanks, Alex."

"Oh, I didn't-"

"She makes a great cup of coffee, that's for sure," Lexi interrupts. "Could get used to that."

Lexi looks between the two of them.

Maggie clears her throat. "Alex, I'm done if you want to use the bathroom."

"Right, of course. Thanks," Alex says as she ducks out of the room, collecting her toiletries that she left outside the bathroom before closing the door behind her.

They return their car rental and make their way to the terminal. They take a seat next to each other in the waiting area, still having about twenty minutes before they can board. Alex pulls out the newspaper from her bag that she found at the Starbucks in the airport.

"You know you're not supposed to take those, right?" Maggie questions.

"I'm just," Alex starts, "paying it forward. I'm sure I'll leave it somewhere and someone else will find it."

"Yeah, like in a garbage can?"

"Look, it couldn't have stayed there forever. Either someone else will take it or an employee will throw it out a week later."

"Here," Maggie says, taking the newspaper from Alex and collecting the pen from her front breast pocket. She clicks the back of the pen, using her knee to lean on as she writes. She passes it back to Alex and up the top of the front page it reads, 'Property of Alex Danvers'.

"In case anyone doubts your ownership. There's no debating that."

Alex laughs and then mocks, "Haha, very funny."

"It's yours forever now. No going back."

Even though Maggie is just messing with her, she knows deep down that she'd do anything Maggie says.

"That's what I call binding," Alex says.

"Exactly, Danvers."

Alex flips through the pages of the newspaper for any news she may have missed over the past week as they fall into a comfortable silence. The whole time Alex is all too aware of Maggie's presence next to her and the moments when Maggie's forearm brushes hers while Lexi's words run through her head.

Their plane gets called to board about fifteen minutes later and Alex tucks the newspaper back in her bag.

The plane ride home is a stark contrast to the trip to Nebraska. Maggie and Alex talk the entire trip, mostly about work and the office but the conversation flows onto many things. Time seems to fly so effortlessly between them now that it feels like just minutes have passed by the time they've collected their bags and are heading towards the pickup area outside the airport.

When they walk out of the sliding doors, Alex immediately spots Kara, leaning against her tiny blue car in the pickup lane. Kara jumps to attention and squeals when she sees Alex, running up to her and throwing her arms around her. Alex can't help but smile into her shoulder.

"It feels like it's been forever!" Kara exclaims right next to her ear.

Alex pulls back. "Okay, doesn't mean you have to deafen me."

"Sorry," Kara says, hands placed on either side of Alex's face. "I just missed you."

Alex brings her own hands up to remove Kara's from her face. "Yeah, me too."

Alex's cheeks blush pink when she remembers Maggie is standing rather awkwardly next to her. Kara must notice at the same time Alex does.

"Maggie, hi! It's nice to see you again."

"You too," Maggie replies with a genuine smile.

"First things first," Kara says, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder and one on Maggie's as well. "Are either one of you a ghost or did you actually survive this week together?"

Maggie laughs but Alex just rolls her eyes and bats Kara's hand off her.

"Very funny," Alex deadpans.

Maggie turns to look at Alex with a smile still on her face and Alex's demeanour instantly softens.

"I think we survived," Maggie says.

"See, I knew it was possible," Kara says, knocking Alex's arm with her elbow.

"Okay," Alex says, pushing Kara away to hide how embarrassed she is.

"But seriously," Kara continues. "How was the trip? Did the article go well?"

"Yeah, really well," Maggie says. "Well, I think it did?" Maggie says, looking to Alex.

"Yeah, really well. I'm really happy with it. I think it might cause a few shockwaves but that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned."

"Definitely," Maggie confirms. "It was good for other reasons too."

Alex subconsciously holds her breath at what Maggie's going to say next.

"Like I'm from Nebraska so I got to see some family for the first time in a while."

Alex's heart sinks.

"And it proved we can actually work together."

Alex looks over at Maggie and just the hopeful look in her eyes makes Alex's breath hitch.

"Who would've thought?" Maggie adds, with an awkward chuckle.

"Not me," Alex says, trying to sound casual but really there's so much truth behind that statement that it's almost overwhelming.

"That's great!" Kara says in that oblivious kind-of-way that she's known for.

They stand awkwardly in a circle until Kara asks if Alex is ready to go.

"Yeah, sure," Alex says, bending down to pick up her suitcase. Alex turns to Maggie, "is someone picking you up?"

"Oh, no. I was just going to catch a taxi," Maggie says, indicating her head towards the line up of cabs waiting for business.

"You can… come with us. If you wanted. I'm sure Kara wouldn't mind dropping you off."

"Oh, it's alright. I wouldn't want to put you out."

"You wouldn't be," Alex says, the moment of separation coming quicker and quicker towards her and she's scrambling to try and delay it just a little bit. "You can't be that sick of me already, can you?"

"No," Maggie chuckles. "Honestly, it's fine. Go home, catch up with Kara and rest. It's only a short ride home for me, anyway."

"Okay," Alex reluctantly says. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure. Now go, your sister's waiting."

"I'll see you at the office tomorrow?"

"You will. See you then, Danvers."

Alex turns and bows her head as she walks towards Kara's car. She places her luggage in the back and gets in the passenger seat. She looks over at where Maggie was standing but she's gone and Alex can't ignore her disappointment.

Kara pulls out into the street and talks as they drive, mostly about the gossip around her office and her texts with James after their date the other day.

Alex is mostly tuned out. She's too focused on thinking about the details of Maggie's face. The dimples that form when she smiles. How her eyes squint when she's happy. The way her hair falls around her face, framing her features perfectly. She also hears her laugh playing in her head. She holds these little titbits of Maggie's life like they're precious.

Fuck, she's in deep.

Alex is knocked out of her thoughts by Kara.

"Hello? Earth to Alex!"

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"That's not important. Where were you just now?"

"Nothing. Nowhere, I mean. I'm just tired," Alex says, admittedly unconvincingly.

"Come on, Alex. What's going on in there?" Kara says, softly knocking her head with her knuckles.

It makes Alex giggle and smile, knocking Kara's hand away playfully.

"I… I don't know," Alex says, defeated.

"Is it about Maggie?" Kara asks, carefully.

Alex just nods. Kara waits patiently for her to continue.

"I don't want to have feelings for her again," Alex says, her eyes starting to well up with tears.

"Do you?"

She says it so quietly that it's barely audible, "yes."

Kara leans over and takes hold of Alex's hand, giving her a tight squeeze.

"It hurt so much last time," Alex says trying to hold back her sobs. "I'd never felt anything like that before and didn't know how to handle it. And then I turned into a terrible person."

"Making mistakes doesn't make you a terrible per-"

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't," Kara, says, giving her hand an affirming squeeze. "You acted irrationally. You made bad decisions, some of which, admittedly, did hurt people. Including me. But I can tell you for certain that you are not a terrible person. You made some mistakes and you're better for it now. I know you are not going to turn into that person again just because you have some feelings. She doesn't have that power over you."

"But what if she does?"

"She doesn't. Not anymore."

Alex nods. She knows she has grown a lot over the last few years. Even though she held a grudge and was pretty awful towards Maggie for a long time, she was getting better. She was more accepting of things out of her control, more considerate of other people's positions, more honest with herself and others. All those things are especially true now that she faced her relationship with Maggie and how it was holding her back from being her best self.

"Your feelings for Maggie aren't bad, Alex. Things might not go like they did last time."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you." After a pause, Kara adds, "the way she was looking at you ear-"

"Don't," Alex interrupts.

"Don't do that, Alex. It doesn't have to be bad. Maybe you should just talk to her, you never know."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Well, give it some time. Maybe you need to settle into this new dynamic between you. Just don't get so down on yourself. You've done so much to make things better between you and that's going to pay off one way or another. You deserve to be happy, Alex. Maybe this is your opportunity."

Maybe, Alex thinks as they drive to Alex's apartment and the tears running down her cheeks stop.