Unraveling
Chapter Notes
I admit that I fought with the subject matter in Lena's POV, not certain that I pushed
too hard. But in the end, it feels right for the emotional tone, so away we go!
My poor, hurty bbs….
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Lena's POV
How can the quiet that isn't really quiet be so nerve-wracking? The… unrest that plagues me is
almost familiar now, like an ache that won't heal.
It's the middle of November now, seventeen days since we drove away from the farm. Almost
twice as many days away as we spent there have passed. Still, the feeling that the time away is
more real than my real life just won't subside.
I've kept my free time occupied with obsessing over the project. While I have no say in the bones of
the… shouse -I'm not sold on that stupid name- I can certainly get involved in decorating the
interior to my liking. Still, I don't have the flair for this big of a project and have called in some
help. While I really don't feel like I have the energy for Andrea today, I've already put her off once.
She'd let me off the hook, I know this, but I have to finish what I've started. Even if the distance
between here and there seems insurmountable.
A clatter of sound and a muttered curse informs me that I won't be alone with my thoughts for
more than a few moments and I best pull myself together. Jess chuckles at Andrea's antics, striding
over to me with drinks in hand. I sip at the very weak martini while water runs and Andrea finally
rejoins us.
"It's still hard to believe this was the shithole bar we stumbled into all those years ago," she says
airily and flops down onto the couch with a great, weary sigh. Sure, I'll take the bait of reminiscing,
maybe it will stop the impossible wants in my head and heart.
"Oh, and wasn't it your idea?" The tease earns me an affectionate glare.
We've known each other since we were kids, as much sisters as competitors as first loves. Now
there's a comfort in the familiar and really, she knows my style better than anyone and has learned
to incorporate Sam and the girls.
It's not a concession, but Andrea changes the subject with a prim, "hmm. I think we should call out
for some lunch, don't you?"
We're hashing out what we'd like to order in when the buzz of my phone puts an immediate stop to
everything. The thing is set on one of my personal modes and only truly important calls will come
through. When I see that it's Lily's school, I can't thumb the green button fast enough.
"Hello?"
"Miss Luthor? This is Karen Braeburn, Lily's teacher."
Like any parent, I am shaken with alarm. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine, at least so far as school is concerned. It's just…" In the pause while my worry
spikes, I can almost anticipate what is coming next. "She hasn't really been herself lately. Nothing
concrete, but she's so quiet. I was hoping that perhaps together we could help."
I'm searching for a reply when the next words derail my thoughts to a smoking wreck.
"It seems like only farmer Alex can cheer her."
That jarring sensation of worlds colliding is not something I like. Completely thrown, my voice is
a little faint. "How… how do you know Alex?"
"Oh. I had assumed Lily spoke to you about the calls." There's a warmer tone to her voice now,
less of the careful professionalism that I feel is real care about her charges. "Oh, this is awkward.
It's just, when there are sudden behavioral changes, we at the school feel we should bring attention
to that, for the sake of the student. I just wanted to ensure that everything was okay at home. For
Lily's sake, of course."
I want to wail at this stranger who isn't really a stranger that no, everything isn't all right at all! The
urge is so strong that it makes my throat ache and my eyes water.
The silence has grown notable and I hear Lily's teacher ask tentatively, "Miss Luthor? If everything
all right?"
Breathing deeply keeps the sob in my chest from escaping and my voice only quavers a little bit
once I find it. "We had a very emotional vacation is all. We were all sad to leave."
"I'm glad to know that it really is just Lily missing her new friend. I was concerned there was some
sort of affair or that you and your partner were getting divorced. I'm sorry if that seems as though
I'm invading your privacy, it's just that small children aren't always good at boundaries."
Really, I want to laugh hysterically at this unexpected twist in my strange saga with Alex Danvers.
I'd probably sound like a madwoman. Imagining my mother's disapproval makes the urge well up
even stronger, but this is a terrible place to give in and I know it. This isn't about me, this is about
Lily, and I will brave anything for her.
Even ignore my aching heart to wrap that ingrained Luthor aloofness around me like a shield.
"No, no, Miss Braeburn, nothing so dramatic, I assure you. Alex was a lovely surprise in how she
got on with Lily and her sister. And the chickens of course."
The deflection works, Miss Braeburn chuckling warmly. "Ah yes, the chickens have been a great
hit with the whole class in the several video calls we've had."
Several video calls? Lily hasn't said a word about that. Not like her indeed.
I'm jarred back to the present by Miss Braeburn continues on.
"It's a shame that the farm is so far away."
I couldn't agree more.
Sam's POV
The sense of things being hopelessly off kilter gets stronger by the day it feels like. First Lily's
school calling to make sure things were okay which unfortunately fits in with her being so quiet
and sad. Then Ruby calls and tells us she's going to stay on campus for the weekend to study.
In all of these years of boarding school, she has never done that voluntarily.
I'm anxious as a cornered rabbit, ready to jump at any sound, skirting paranoia about how it feels
like my family is crumbling around me. I should talk to Lena, give her clear sadness an out, but
words turn to noise in my brain. Somehow I have to find a way out of this spiral because there are
serious conversations that need to take place with my partner and kids, no matter how it scares the
shit out of me.
And why the hell does this familiar city still feel so big and crowded and loud?
Is this what a mental breakdown is like?
Then all worries are swept aside -not to mention the dead sleep I'm woken from- when I get a
phone call no parent enjoys.
Ruby has been in a fight.
To say that I am stunned is an understatement. Ruby is not the sort of kid to get into some sort of
neanderthal vulgarity like a physical confrontation. And it sounds like a real fight too, not just
some pushy-shovey screaming match. The Headmistress' voice is tense with anger and frustration,
though she reassures me that there is no permanent damage. At least of the physical kind.
I must make some reassurances that we'll be there to retrieve our wayward daughter as quickly as
humanly possible. Still shocked and drowsy, I stagger into the living room, completely uncaring
that I'm wearing nothing but a scrap of underwear. The sounds of Lena and Andrea at their project
as usual guides me, the former gearing up for a smartass remark that stalls in response to what must
be the look on my face. Lena goes paler than normal and rushes towards me.
"What's wrong?"
Through my half-numb panic I'm so relieved that we're still sympatico and maybe I'm freaking out
over nothing. Except for my shocking news.
"Ruby's been in a fight."
The morning is a blur after that. While I get dressed and grab the last few things for our departure,
now a day early. Lena's called for a car, which I'm grateful for, and we're off for the start of what
should have been a nice family trip for Thanksgiving at the Luthor country estate.
A call has Lily pulled out of class early to get her things together and we're only waiting a few
minutes for her to appear in the administration building. She looks as worried as we feel and rushes
over for hugs, her bag clattering to the floor.
"Shh, baby, it's okay," I reassure and stroke her hair. God, it's so good that I can still be a parent. I
was starting to fear that I would never find that ease in me again. "Ruby's just had some trouble at
school and we need to go get her. Then we'll head out to see Gramma and Grampa and Uncle Lex,
okay?"
She only nods silently where she is pressed to our bellies.
It isn't long before we get to Ruby's school and the woman I know is the Headmistress' assistant
rushes out to meet us. What, had she been lying in wait? Then again, fights are rare here, so…
With a minimum of words, we are led to the medical wing where Ruby is curled up on her side in
one of the beds there. She startles as our noise alerts her, expression wracked with emotions before
she shutters them once more. Normally I might grouse silently to myself about teenage ennui, but
right now, I'm just worried. Even from across the room I can see the damage to her face, the split
lip and bruises coming up over forehead, cheek, the bridge of her nose.
Obstinate and clearly hurting, my baby is as rigid as wood as I rush over and wrap her up in a hug.
Clearly expecting something else, she holds out for a moment before softening into me with a sob.
"It's okay, baby, we're here."
There will need to be serious discussions about this, both among our family and with the school,
but the assistant simply nods and asks that we ring in for a meeting when school reconvenes next
Tuesday. As we ready to leave, one of Ruby's friends drops her bag off and we can go. I'm grateful
that my baby leaves off clinging to Lena to tuck herself under my arm and be led away.
I just wish the affection came with a better circumstance.
Alex's POV
It's been twenty-three days and the reminders have yet to fade. Seriously, how could ten fucking
days have such an effect?
I almost hacked the old piano to pieces and tossed the beautiful cedar slabs into the rain to rot.
Thankfully, some sane part of me resisted and the pieces remain hidden away, just like I've tried to
do with my broken heart.
There are more than a few tears caught in that wood.
The kids are still missing this place and the phonecalls tugs at my heartstrings more than I can say.
Lily gushes on when we talk, but just this last weekend, Ruby reached out too. It took a little
coaxing, but I'd managed to get her to open up a little. School has gotten harder as she's gotten
older, and apparently there's a bully that has been stealthily tormenting her.
It's so wrong to want to punch a damn kid, but there's a real part of me that wants to track down
that bully and put some fear in her.
In my regular life, things are moving along steadily. After that first real workday, we'd persuaded
the work crew to settle in more comfortably, watching in awe as they threaded their enormous
trailers into the RV slip behind Brainy's barn. Seeing a full-sized semi-trailer move through our
little village had been something else. They'd laid out huge, heavy rubber mats on the Rambeau's
lawn to protect it from the semi-truck from chewing it up in maneuvering its trailer. Nothing was
left behind but some flattened grass that quickly sprung back. The other living space trailer was
tucked up at the nose of the trailer while the mechanic trailer and the stretched truck/motorhome
they call a toterhome set up camp right on the road near the red barn.
We've gotten used to them very quickly. They're a good bunch of people, even if it's weird having
males around again. Brainy is thrilled to have another nerd in Luke, who is a calm, soothing
presence. Dick's an odd one, much older than the others and a quietly intense manly man built like
an NFL quarterback. Yet, there's no superiority to him, which is nice. The last thing I want to deal
with is an arrogant mansplainer. Dinah and Helena's constant bickering has me wondering if they're
siblings or fuck-buddies. They look nothing alike, but then neither do Kane and Mary.
The ones I really like are the quiet married couple. Kelly's hot, but like, safe hot in that she's
happily married and momming one of the cuter rug rats in the world. Charlie is a handful to say the
least, active and curious and getting into everything. He reminds me of Lily and I'm so grateful for
the random phone calls I get. And in Brin, I've somehow gained what feels like a big brother. This
new kinda-sorta butch feeling that has been growing in me isn't something I've looked at too
closely, but with a mentor, the self-exploration feels… grounding for lack of a better word. And
Brin is just damn good company.
They met in the Army Service Corp, Kelly a therapist and big, tough Brin a dreaded -gaspadministrator.
We've gotten some laughs out of that. They were on the same command chain and
had to court in secret, but the fulfillment of their twenty years to the Army has them both home for
good.
Rounding out their little family unit is Charlie's nanny, his Gramma Beth, Kelly's mother. Her
stable, eagle-eyed presence has been good for all of us, and Beth has taken Nia, Brainy and Kara in
particular under her wing. It's adorable how much they loved the momming.
Yeah, everyone here likes the new people in our lives.
After five days of concrete work that feels more like a month, actual structure is finally going up.
The beefy footings had gone in with little drama, the ground soggy but not winter-cold yet. But the
slab work had been far more complicated. Huge electric blankets were spread out over zones, then
removed for steel to be laid down before dense, drier concrete was poured and the blankets settled
once more. I don't care in the slightest that the process has left the slab looking like a giant chess
board. The build crew has already promised to fill the seams in with a stiff rubber, enhancing the
ability of the huge slab to expand and contract with temperature.
In the slab coming to fruition with its anchor bolts and burly steel strapping standing read to hold
down the coming walls, I can finally start to see some of the shape. There is a peace in that and I'd
spoken casually, my filter a bit erratic lately. "They're gonna love this big, silly thing."
For a moment, Lucy was quiet, but I read her silences well and when she asked, it was gentle.
"What would you do if they came back?"
"They will come back," I'd said a little too hastily, neither of us missing the note of desperation.
"They promised to visit."
It wasn't what she meant and I knew it, but before either of us could pursue or reject the thread of
conversation, there was a shout and we were back in the fray.
Hours later, I'm still mulling over it.
With so much wood drying for next year, we've stoked up a bonfire nearly every night, the firepit
a natural gathering place. And it doesn't overcrowd the clubhouse, much to Nia's relief. She likes
the new people, but all the noise and energy is taking some getting used to. As the hours drag on,
the others have drifted off to bed, but the quiet of the night feels like a dangerous comfort and I've
stayed.
Just me and my thoughts. Joy.
I haven't missed that Brainy has been unusually merciful in keeping the camera away from me
unless I search him out. Gone is the live feed in my shop, gone are the little tutorials I once
enjoyed, gone is the desire to work on things outside of necessity.
It rankles a little that a makeshift but serviceable table has appeared in the clubhouse, expertly
kludged together with some of the better scraps of the rising shouse. The construction team can't
know how that conflicts me. There's also more chairs now, even if two of them are five gallon
buckets with padding taped to them.
The new blood has been good for us, even as my heart will not be comforted.
"You're brooding again."
It says something that Lucy's unexpected voice barely startles me. It's really late, the night a deep
blackness beyond the reach of the little fire warming my feet.
With a quietness characteristic of Lucy's deeper moments, she slips into the seat beside me, just
close enough that we can touch elbows if we need the contact. Her very quietude has finding words
just that little bit easier.
"I suppose I could try being cocky about it, hooking in two of the hottest women in the world, but
they've really rocked my world."
I don't have to look over to feel the soft concern and it makes me hyper aware of the blistering
feelings that don't feel like they should be my own. But the ache in me is desperate to be let out,
burning my eyes and throat and belly.
"Lucy, I don't know how to explain it. They just made me… better. There was nothing wrong with
me before them, and there's nothing wrong about me now, they just made me better."
The words feel right, honest, and they settle some part of the restless and hurting in me.
"They took my heart with them." There's something perversely poetic about the rain that is
suddenly spattering down and I tilt my head back to let it carry away the endless tears. "And it
really feels like it will never grow back. And I'm never going to be the same."
And Lucy does me the solid of just sitting quietly with me as I weep with bowed shoulders and a
shattered heart, our elbows just touching.