Quivering. Fear. Confusion. Ellana trembled as she glanced up at Cullen, quietly whispering "Cullen, how did you…"
"Are you okay?" His voice was broken with fear. Holding her tightly, wrapped in his arms.
Unsure and yet still nodding, Ellana attempted to answer him. "I… think so…"
Where to begin? Ellana's mind furiously grasped to understand what led to all of this. Had she intended to kill the Knight-Captain when she left to search for him? 'No!' she clamped her eyes shut in resolve – she hadn't meant for this happen… had she? Eyes nervously brought back to Cullen, desperately attempting to solve the look spread across his face. Was it anger? Fright? Disgust? Her eyes began to well.
"Ellana." He pulled her upwards, forcing her to stand.
'No,' she thought, it is none of those things. He is in Commander mode; protector mode. She could see the thoughts formulating behind those tiresome eyes. He had a plan on how to get her out of this; how to clean up her mess – figuratively and literally, she cringed.
His hands methodically pulled off her long gloves, red in color from the Templar's blood. Next, her cloak. "Careful," his voice cautioned as her socked feet almost stepped in the pool of blood on the floor.
"Cullen, I – " she began again, desperate to find some words that would explain; that would excuse… but, there were none. She had fucked up. Seriously, fucked up. There was nothing more to say. "I have to tell someone," she weakly mumbled.
"No." Cullen grabbed hold of her face, bringing her eyes to his. "The Circle cannot find out about this – not while we are here. They will never give us the Litany after this and Maker," his eyes were frantic, "we need that thing to cure you."
Ellana solemnly nodded. Yes, she needed to be rid of this horrid thing inside of her. She felt her mind slowly slipping into oblivion these past weeks, slowly losing the small parts of herself that held out against the growing darkness. She would do whatever Cullen ordered; she needed to fix this.
Cullen pointed towards the door, "Go wash up in the privy chamber and make sure that no one sees you. Stay in there until I come to get you – understand?"
Ellana slowly nodded and began walking to the door but quickly turned around. Could she leave Cullen here to… deal with this? He noticed her hesitation and came over to place a hand on her shoulder, mumbling that he would be fine and that she needed to get herself out of here. Unable to do anything helpful other than obey, she quickly slipped out of the room.
Red streaks spattered across her face. Ellana's eyes widened in horror as she looked at herself in the mirror. 'I look like a wild animal…' she hardly recognized herself. Placing shaking palms on the stone countertop, she leaned closer to the mirror – unable to accept that the woman staring back was truly herself. Vision blurring as she moved closer, suddenly her reflection gained dark eyes and wickedly smirked at her. Throwing herself back into the wall behind her, Ellana's heart was racing. Boom. 'That was a mistake.' Boom. 'Eyes deceiving me.' Boom. 'It can't be.'
Boom. A loud knock on the door. Ellana froze, panicking and lost in her anxieties. More knocks. 'Let them come,' Ellana grimaced. Whoever was on the other side of the door, let them find her. She deserved to be caught, deserved to be punished for what she had done.
"Ellana!" Cullen's voice broke through to her ears; it was him; he had finally pushed his way through the door upon her lack of reply. "You're safe," his arms – Creators, she didn't deserve his arms right now and yet, there they were: placed gently around her, pulling her back to safety.
Shoulders tense and face permanently contorted into a shameful fright, she suddenly felt something warm washing over her skin. Cullen stood before her with a washcloth, slowly wiping away the dried blood from her forehead, gently down her nose, following the lines of her vallaslin, gingerly cleaning her reddened lips. His eyes were broken and she found herself unable to keep eye contact with him for any longer than a mere second.
"I'm so sorry…" she reached out for his arm only to have him back away.
He quickly recoiled, pulling her into a hug. "I didn't mean to – I just, that was…"
"I know…" broken whispers escaped Ellana's lips, "I let it have control."
Cullen gently stroked Ellana's hair for a few moments before clearing his throat, "I wasn't able to remove… it's somewhat hidden but – I've jammed the door. We need to get out of here, quickly. Someone will eventually find…"
Ellana nodded and pulled herself together, preparing to return to the meeting room.
He sees you as an abomination.The voice spoke within her head. 'No,' Ellana closed her eyes, 'that's not true!'
She jumped when Cullen laid his hand on her waist, attempting to guide her back into the hall. 'Don't make me go back there' her eyes pleaded with him and yet she knew there was no other option. They had to return. She had to act calm. They had to obtain the Litany. She needed to leave this place.
Cullen and Ellana quietly slinked back into the meeting room and sat down in their chairs. Cullen noticed Cassandra had an odd look on her face, yet chalked it up to the fact that he and Ellana had been missing for a little while – she was probably upset with them about it.
Ellana noticed the First Enchanter staring at her with an impish look on his face. She felt herself beginning to redden under his gaze and finally shifted her eyes up to meet the old man's. 'He knows.' Somehow, the mage knew that Knight-Captain Morin was no more – Ellana was sure of it. The old man winked at Ellana and a small smile formed on his lips. She slightly startled and quickly shifted her eyes back to the Knight-Commander. 'Does he approve?'
"As I have been telling your companions," the Knight-Commander turned to Cullen and Ellana, "I will give you the Litany of Adralla."
Ellana's eyes lit up and she could tell Cullen's had the same reaction. Creators, they needed a win.
"But not at your request." the Knight-Commander continued, "You will be given the Litany of Adralla at the request of Markus Pentaghast, current ruler of Nevarra."
Ellana raised an eyebrow and shifted towards Cassandra, "A distant uncle of yours pulling favors?"
Cassandra grunted, clearly having heard the rest of this story already. Ellana returned her gaze to the Knight-Commander, eager for him to continue.
"Our King heard of the Inquisition's planned visit to Nevarra. His raven arrived last week, requesting that I agree to whatever it was that brought you so far away from your lands. He has one condition, which I am to obtain your word in following through with in exchange for the Litany."
Ellana leaned forward in her chair, anxious to hear of this request.
"There are rumors circulating of possible candidates for the new Divine – I am sure you are familiar with whom I speak?"
Ellana nodded, seemingly understanding where this conversation was to go. "Markus wants the Inquisition to formally support Cassandra for the position. That isn't a problem – we have already spoken about this in great detail. I would be more than happy to – "
"Quite the opposite." Cassandra spoke, which caused Ellana to turn towards the Knight-Commander in confusion.
"Our King will require your formal opposition to the Lady Seeker's appointment as Divine; along with guarantees from the Seeker, herself, that she will not accept the position – if it is offered to her nonetheless."
"Why would he – " Ellana was deeply confused.
"Markus Pentaghast cares for only one of our family name to be in power." Cassandra scoffed, "Maker help him if there was another Pentaghast, which rivaled him."
"It is in response to actions carried out by your parents." The Knight Commander spoke, "If their child was to be rewarded with such a title, it would be a disgrace to his name."
Ellana turned towards Cassandra and gave her a sympathetic look. "Cassandra, how would you have us proceed?"
"I recommend that we accept the terms." She lowered her eyes to the ground, "We require the Litany of Adralla. We should accept."
Ellana furrowed her brow in frustration. This was no longer requiring sacrifices from just herself or Cullen, now her friends were getting involved. Should Cassandra be required to make such an agreement for Ellana's sake? She gave Cassandra final glance and watched as the Seeker nodded in support before turning her gaze back towards the Knight-Commander.
"Very well, we accept." Ellana begrudgingly nodded, "however, I will be demanding the inclusion of the elf that we mentioned in this deal. She is to leave the tower with us, today."
The Knight-Commander turned towards the First Enchanter and received a tiny nod of approval, before they both rose from their chairs and left the room to fetch Avexis and the Litany.
Ellana and her companions remained quiet, absentmindedly staring off into the empty room. Ellana took the opportunity to glance towards Cullen, the demon's words echoing in her mind. Did he really see her as that – an abomination? What about his templar abilities – how had they returned? He couldn't have been taking lyrium; Ellana would have detected it.
This changes things. The voice called out to her. 'It doesn't!' she shook her head in frustration, causing Cullen's eyes to shift towards her. She gave him a weak smile and watched as he quickly turned his head to look away from her. The demon's laugh echoed through her throbbing skull, seemingly pleased that it had been proven correct.
Release me!
Ellana curled her hands into fists, desperate to block out its pleas and calls. They were so close! Creators, the Litany would be in their hands in mere moments. She needed to hold out just a little longer…
The door behind them creaked open with the Knight-Commander returning, carrying a small pouch. He handed the object to Cullen before nodding and exiting the room. Behind him, a tiny blonde elf slowly entered. Ellana's eyes met the elf's and she froze in awe: it was her sister, she was sure of it. Avexis stood before her with the same piercing blue eyes and white blonde hair, missing her vallaslin – as she had been taken as a young girl – but it was her forehead which caused Ellana to crumble: the tranquility mark was placed in the center, glaring at Ellana and causing her blood to boil.
"Sister," the blonde elf spoke in a strangely impassive voice, "is that you?"
Ellana required a few moments to compose herself before stuttered, "You… remember me?"
"Yes. I seven when I joined the Circle here at Cumberland. You were three, and therefore likely do not have any memories of me. I however, can remember you."
"You didn't join the Circle…" Ellana grumbled.
Avexis didn't have a reaction to Ellana's comment; instead, she merely continued: "Knight-Commander Hovath has informed me that I will be leaving the Circle to join you and your companions."
"Yes," Cassandra stood up, "and might I suggest that we leave? It seems that we have all that we require."
Cullen quickly rose. "Agreed. It is best that we leave – immediately." Cassandra gave him an odd look, catching on to the fact that she had clearly missed something that occurred within the hall.
The group of five quickly made their way down the various staircases and promptly exited the Circle tower. Cassandra suggested that they backtrack to the Inn in the nearby village to stay there for the night and to use the Litany.
Along the way, Ellana kept glancing over at Avexis – who had been placed on Cassandra's horse – and found herself in shock. She remembered Ellana, had instantly recognized her as her sister. Why hadn't she told the Templars about her existence? Maybe the Templars had never asked…? Ellana wasn't entirely sure how tranquility affected one's mind – if it just removed the presence of any emotion, if it impacted one's ability to lie, one's motivation to conceal… it was all a large mystery to her.
She switched her focus over to Cullen and found herself equally confused. Had he truly regained his Templar abilities and if so, what did that mean for the two of them? Could Ellana accept that? He caught her staring at him and gave her a concerned, yet reassuring smile. She felt herself relax and melt under his endearing gaze, suddenly wishing that she could switch over to his horse and feel his warm arms wrapped around her.
…
"Are you ready?" Cassandra's gaze was set intensely on Ellana. She was in one of the Inn's rooms with Cassandra and Cullen, preparing to use the Litany of Adralla.
Ellana was nervous. Excited, but nervous. What if this didn't work? She hadn't allowed herself to consider the possibility of Solas being incorrect in his assumption that the Litany would cure her, or that he had possibly deceived her... Standing in the small room with the Litany held before her in Cullen's hands sparked months of fear and doubt to spread through her mind; it left her with a sinking pit in her stomach and tiny shivers began to unfold across her body.
"I need a moment," she whispered, "with Cullen."
Cassandra solemnly nodded and left the room. Cullen laid the Litany on a nearby table and placed his hands on Ellana's arms. "This will work." He wasn't sure if the message was directed more towards Ellana or himself. It had to – they didn't have another option.
She nervously glanced up at him with tears welling in her eyes, "I'd like for it to just be you and I."
He nodded and leaned in to give her a comforting kiss. Her mind felt refreshingly clear as his lips gently graced her own.
Ellana took the small bundle and gently pulled out the parchment; noticing aged and withered corners, she carefully unrolled the script. She began to slowly whisper the ancient text, feeling a hesitant shriek erupt from deep within. The demon, spirit – whatever it was – wanted her to stop. Her chant became louder, delivering each word with a desperate resolute. 'This needs to work.' Frantically repeating the words in her mind, she found herself nearing the end of the Litany.
I can protect you. A desperate attempt to keep its clasp upon her mind and heart. "No," she spoke to it through inner thoughts, 'it is your time to leave.'
The last word escaped her lips and Ellana felt a warm sensation pulse out from the old parchment in her hands. It slowly spread across her body, quieting the anxious whispers in her mind and bringing a sense of inner peace to her deepest thoughts. She curled the script back to its original form and slipped the Litany back into the velvet pouch, placing it on the table.
Cullen's eyes followed her every movement. Ellana reached out to grab his hand and opened her lips in preparation to whisper, "I think it worked." Unfortunately, a loud knock from the door interrupted her and they both jumped as Cassandra's voice called out, "The Cumberland First Enchanter is here. He says the Litany of Adralla will not cure you from the Blood Magic taint."
"Not fully." The old man spoke from behind the door, correcting Cassandra's statement to accurately reflect his warning.
Omgggg finalllyyy cured! Well, partly -_-
Next chapter: a new skill & an old acquaintance...