DO NOT DISTURB: AUTHOR IS IN TEARS

CHAPTER 38

Enjoy life while you can

It can be taken in a heart beat

Jasmin Morin

Taeyong smoothed a comb down the middle of his bangs. He had dyed them blond with streaks of pink and blue. He set the comb down and wove colorful beads into his hair. Dusted his eyes with silver glitter as a final touch before grabbing his bag, a hoodie, sunglasses, and sliding his feet into a pair of jewel-encrusted six inch heels.

He missed Eliza and Millie. Kai had told him not to go out of the house for his own safety but Kai was nowhere in sight at the moment and so Taeyong decided to visit the nearest Walmart to buy a cheap phone and a SIM card. He would disguise himself with the hoodie and sunglasses. He was using Kai's money. It made him feel sick to the stomach. Taeyong vowed to himself he would pay back every single penny he was borrowing from the Hiwatari.

Taeyong descended the deep brown wooden staircase with loud steps, heels clacking, keychains tinkling. When he rounded the corner to the living room, he spotted Kai's housekeeper in the kitchen. He had only ever seen the woman once before and just her back. He lingered by the stairs for a moment before taking a deep breath and walking over to say hello to the woman.

She turned around when she heard him approach and Taeyong's knees nearly gave out when he saw her face. The woman froze, spatula in hand dripping curry on Kai's speckless floor. "T-tae?" She stuttered.

"Noona?" He breathed.

His sister laid the utensil down to walk over to him stupefied and engulf him in a tight hug. Taeyong shook with shock in her warm embrace. "What are you doing here?"

Mia stepped back to look at him. She cupped his face in her hands. "How?" she asked. "How? This is impossible."

Taeyong broke down into tears.

o-o-o-o-o

BROOKLYN

I realized that Hiro liked me more than he liked anyone else a long time ago.

I may just have been his most favorite person in all the worlds.

But would he ever accept it?

No

Hiro circled his hand in the sparkling water, sitting on a rock across from me, a few meters from the shore where we could dip our feet in and stay dry from shin up.

"This place is like earth before humans inhabited it," said Hiro. "Only more beautiful." Eyes on the large flowers and shrubbery near the sea.

The full moon hung in the dazzling night sky scattered with stars, like a big, bright, sepia-coloured pendant. Hiro kept looking at the gigantic rock in space because he'd never seen it from this close before. "That's awfully big."

"Yeah"

"It's unsettling"

I tilted my head at him.

"I like the climate here. It's the perfect temperature."

I bet if I'd given him a journal he'd have written down everything he could. Gone on a full adventure around the land and made meticulously detailed and boring observations in the book.

He couldn't stop marveling at his surroundings everywhere we went.

Hiro was playing with the water now. Mesmerized by the tiny glowing particles in it. He scooped some into his hands and poured it back in. "It's heavier. More viscous. I think I'll die if I drink this."

"Don't drink it," I said with alarm. "I only take what Zeus gives me."

Hiro shot me a glance. "You don't go exploring on your own?"

I stared at him long and hard. "As beautiful as all this may be, there is danger here."

Hiro looked back at the moon. He was comically distracted by it. "How did I cross over so early?" he asked me. "I didn't face all of my fears."

"You don't have to confront all of them. Just enough to challenge the limits of your mind. Make it believe that anything is possible. Once you firmly believe in that, you just have to have an extreme traumatic experience to transport your body here."

Hiro had a confused expression on his face. "How does that work?"

"An extreme traumatic experience could be almost dying. When it seems your body can't continue living in the human world anymore, your mind can take you into another world you believe exists." I tried to think of another way of explaining it. "Sort of like teleporting?"

Hiro stared. He dunked his hand in the water again. Something brushed against my leg. Hiro's fingers closed around my ankle and he lifted my foot out. Holding it as the water drained and dripped from my leg. He was watching with a smile. I looked at him puzzled. Hiro met my eyes and let my foot drop gently back in. "You belong here," he told me.

I wondered what he meant.

o-o-o-o-o

FLASHBACK

Tala blew smoke into the air in the shape of a perfect 'O'.

Bryan stared mesmerized for a second. "Whoa, that was hot."

Tala turned to him with molten black eyes, his head resting on the settee. "Yeah?" he asked in a silk-like voice.

Kai watched their interaction from a nearby couch. The room was hazy with smoke from the weed his companions were having a fun time with. They had a good training session earlier and decided to hang out for an hour in the smoking room in the bladers residence afterward. "Get us some girls in here, Kai," rasped Tala. "We have the weed, the ambience, now all we need is some good company."

Kai's attention shifted to him and he must have had a less than thrilled expression on his face because Tala felt the need to elaborate. "You don't have to participate. I know Granger's got your dick in a bind but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't have fun." He tucked the joint between his teeth and spoke around it. "Get the girls, Kai."

"Sorry for being an ass but I don't understand why you're dating Granger," said Bryan, offering his two cents without prompt.

Kai appraised the glass walls around the red tinged room. He could make out their reflections in them.

"Of all the people in this whole wide world," Bryan sounded drunk as he went on, though he wasn't drinking. "You chose Granger. That measly, annoying little runt of a person. I don't even find him good looking. Do you think he's good looking, Tala?" He nudged his friend next to him who snorted loudly. Almost choking on smoke as he was a little late to pull the joint out of his mouth.

Tala waved his hand at the air in front of him to clear it. "Tyson?" He dissolved into a fit of laughter, shoulders shaking, disdain rolling off of him in tides. He raised his head and collected himself after a minute. "To put it lightly, so as not to insult our dear old friend here," he said, looking at Kai. "Not at all."

At receiving no satisfying response, they chuckled some more. "I mean what was wrong with Irina, Kai?" Tala asked him, the joint hanging off his fingers. Bryan rubbed powdered cocaine into his teeth from the packet he'd brought with him. He hid it in his jacket pocket so Tala couldn't finish it all off on his own. Kai tolerated their jibes quietly, looking slightly bored as Tala continued glibly. "She was hot and smart. She came from a powerful family. She had everything going for her. What idiot would leave her?"

"An idiot like Kai," supplied Bryan.

Tala gave him a delighted fist bump. "And the worst part is you left her for Tyson Granger." He took a moment to lament silently, heel of his palm against his forehead. "Why?" he asked emphatically, eyes wide and unusually expressive.

"I just don't understand." Bryan cried by his side, hands on his knees. "Is it because my brain is too small?"

"Your brain is proportionate to your size," Tala comforted him, covering Bryan's hand with his own for a second. Then turned toward Kai again. "But what about you? You're ruining your own life. I know- I know I said a couple of positive things before," he said alluding to the conversation they'd had a while back, "I wasn't being entirely honest then. I'm being honest now. I am horrified that you are with him. Granger's one annoying piece of shit. He's way beneath all of us-"

"Yeah" agreed Bryan.

"- Don't you remember how annoying he is, Kai? You used to say that yourself."

He was high. His tongue was loose. He was saying all the things he shouldn't have been saying to Kai, yet he was being real. He was straight up asking Kai to break up with Tyson. And by the way he was implying things, in a hurtful manner too. Because Tyson didn't deserve to date someone like him. Kai was hearing Tala talk yet the words simply wouldn't register in his brain. It was like he was speaking a different language.

They kept talking, taking his silence to mean agreement.

"You should be with someone more of your status."

"Right"

"Someone smarter. Wittier. I don't even care if it's not a girl."

"Yeah"

"Just someone who would mesh better with you."

"Yeah"

"Granger. I swear. He- Why do you even associate with him?"

"Why would anybody want to associate with him?"

"He's trash."

"Literal trash"

"Thank god he's nowhere near this building. We can avoid him better. Delete his number."

"Better yet, block him."

"Oof yes, block him. Cut him out. Just like that. No explanation. No closure." Tala scissored his fingers, mimicking snipping the air. "Just like that."

Kai stood up, unable to take it anymore. He grabbed a bottle of beer from the wine cooler next to the door and chugged it all down in one go.

o-o-o-o-o

"I can't believe he cut my call again." Tyson glared at his phone screen. "What the hell?"

"What a jerk," mumbled Max. They were in the study center. Tyson, Max, Emily, Michael, and Michael's girlfriend Chelsea were clustered around a long table in chairs and sectionals.

"Was that your boyfriend?" asked Chelsea, her long straight blond hair framing her face in pretty swoops. She was sitting next to him in an arm chair, a book open in her lap and her bag stuffed next to her in the seat. She was wearing jean shorts and thick boots, a spaghetti strap top under Michael's letter jacket.

"Yeah" Tyson clicked his phone locked and put it away, dragging his textbook toward himself.

"Bet he does it all the time," she said confidently, tapping her pen on top of the page. "How fast does he reply to your texts?"

Tyson stared at her uncertainly. Chelsea had a habit of poking her nose in other people's business and had a generally cynical view of the world but she was still a sweet person. And her tendency to pry came from a desire to help others. Tyson shot her a small smile, then shrugged.

Chelsea raised her sleek pointed eyebrows. "He doesn't? At all?"

"He's a busy person. So he doesn't get a lot of time to-"

"Pay attention to his boyfriend?" she challenged.

"No, I mean." Tyson rubbed the back of his hand under his nose. "He doesn't reply unless it's like really important, you know?"

"Yeah" she said, dragging the syllable out. "I know. My ex boyfriend was like that. He never had time for me. He was always caught up in club business. He was a pretty shitty boyfriend. That's why I dumped him. Michael's an absolute dream compared to him."

"Not everyone can be me, babe," Mike crowed from the other end of the couch Tyson was sitting on, working diligently on a project. Chelsea blew him a kiss. He caught it in a fist and flattened his palm against his chest. She grinned at him, heart in her eyes.

Oh they were in love.

Tyson took his highlighter back in hand and tried to read the text in front of him.

Chelsea brushed a sheet of hair off her shoulder. "See that's the thing. Don't settle for less. If he can't put you over work then don't be with him anymore. Dump his ass. You can do so much better."

Tyson drew the nib of his highlighter across a couple of lines before telling her, "I'm in love with him."

She tilted her chin, thoughtful. "What's your ideal boyfriend like?" she asked after a beat. "Go on." She sat up straight, excited all of a sudden. "Describe your ideal boyfriend to me."

Tyson groaned in good humor, feigning irritation. "I'm trying to study."

"We've been studying for hours," she argued. "We need a break."

Emily shot them both disapproving looks from across the table before pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and going back to taking notes from a lecture she'd recorded in her laptop.

Tyson sighed, surrendering. "Okay" He gave a tiny laugh. "Erm," he made a thinking sound as he closed the highlighter pen. "My ideal boyfriend is obviously six foot tall and handsome." He grinned at Chelsea who mirrored his expression. She nudged his leg with her boot. "He's smart and funny. He takes me out on cute dates to the park and holds my hand just for the sake of holding my hand." Tyson's heart clenched for a second in yearning and then he couldn't stop the words from tumbling past his lips. "He shares milkshakes with me and gives me his jacket when I'm cold. He calls me in the morning and at night just to hear my voice. He tells me he loves me out of nowhere. He makes me mixtapes and listens to music with me. He takes me dancing and gives me back rubs. He always texts me first when we're apart and surprises me every chance he gets."

By this point, Max had stopped working in his notebook completely and was listening to Tyson with rapt attention.

"He's patient and funny."

"You said 'funny' twice," Max pointed out.

"Yeah. It's an important trait. He's supportive and gentle. He likes to cuddle and has great sex with me."

"Fucking hell," Emily muttered, pissed she was unable to concentrate on her note-taking because of Tyson.

"He loves spending the night in with movies and popcorn. He adopts pets with me and goes on bike rides with me. He always looks out for me and cooks dinner for me. He basically treats me like I'm the most important person in the world to him," Tyson finished with a nod addressing everyone else in his study group who were no longer studying and was watching him sigh over the man of his dreams.

"That's not over the top, right?" Emily asked the rest of them. "That's a pretty realistic man right there, isn't he?"

"Yeah" agreed Tyson. "So I don't see why I haven't found someone like that yet."

"You have to be kidding me," Emily shut her notebook and packed her laptop. "You have met many people like that, Tyson. You just don't want them." She zipped up her bag after putting all her things in it and stood up. "I'm going to go somewhere I can actually focus on my work."

"Nerd" Michael teased with a cough.

Emily rolled her eyes and stalked out of the study center. Tyson stared after her. "That's not true," he whispered.

"Babe, can you get me a juice bottle? I'm thirsty," Chelsea's voice dragged his attention back to her.

"Yeah sure" Michael jumped out of his chair to go to the vending machine.

"We can't help who we're attracted to," Chelsea said, looking at Tyson again. "But if he doesn't bother to answer your calls or your texts then it's pretty obvious that he doesn't care about you nearly as much as you care about him." She canted her head sympathetically as Tyson's face fell. "I bet he's with girls right now."

Of this Tyson was sure of. "No" he said immediately. "No way."

Chelsea kept nodding. "Yeah. Most probably. Call him and ask him where he is."

"No" Tyson said firmly. "I trust him."

"Well if you trust him there's nothing wrong with calling him, is there?" She stared at him with sky blue eyes.

Tyson considered her silently. "Ugh" He gave in, pulling his phone out and punching Kai's number in. He raised the phone to his ear and waited as it rang. Kai picked up just before he cut the call. "Oh hi," Tyson stammered.

"What is it?" Kai sounded slightly pissed, although he could hardly hear him over the music in the background. Which was weird. Tyson had thought Kai was at work.

"Why did you cut my call earlier?"

"Because I couldn't talk."

"Why? Where are you?"

"I'm with Tala and a couple of…friends," he said, exasperation clear in his tone. What was up with him? Tyson's mouth tightened. He could hear laughing in the background, of both men and…women.

"Are those girls in the back?" he asked, feeling horrible.

"What do you want, Tyson?" Kai snapped.

"I want to know where you are."

"You want me to tell you where I am every second of the day?"

"No, I-"

Kai hung up suddenly and the beeping tone followed. "Fuck you" cursed Tyson, throwing his phone back into his bag. "Son of a bitch."

Max winced. Michael came back with a juice bottle and handed it to Chelsea. "Thank you, babe." They shared a kiss. "So he seems pretty shitty," she said to Tyson, opening the bottle. "Take my advice. Dump him. You can do much better." She took a swig of the juice her lovely boyfriend brought her.

o-o-o-o-o

Tyson ignored Kai for the next few days. They'd had the argument over the phone on Tuesday night after which Tyson had gotten really drunk and passed out cold in somebody's front yard with his phone still in hand. When he woke up, the phone was gone and he was yet to find it. He was using a burner phone at the moment and he hadn't even bothered to let Kai know.

He didn't have to anyway. It was not like Kai was going to call him. And he certainly wasn't going to reach out to Kai first. Not after the stunt he pulled on Tuesday.

Thursday night, Tyson had stared numbly at his phone wondering whether he should call him since that was when Kai usually made plans with him for the weekend and since Tyson hadn't informed him he'd lost his phone and was using a burner instead. He was distraught. He was mad at Kai but he also missed him and sort of still wanted to see his face by the following night. So he spent a lot of time deciding whether or not to call him. In the end, he let his ego win and went to bed with his heart in his throat.

Friday rolled around and Tyson was having lunch with his friends in the cafeteria, Kai at the very back of his mind. At the bottom of his list of priorities. And seriously beginning to question why they were even together if Kai wasn't half as interested in Tyson as he was in Kai.

He really could have done so much better. Kyle Fraser, his former track teammate and Campus Heartthrob had sidled up to Tyson in the library on Thursday evening and shamelessly flirted with him. Tyson hadn't drawn the line that he should have drawn a long fucking time ago till Kyle moved in for a kiss and he had had to awkwardly decline, telling him he had a boyfriend. Kyle had visibly deflated with disappointment. "I hope he knows how lucky he is," he'd said to Tyson afterward. What an amazing guy. And Tyson knew how that whole fiasco made him look. Like a desperate man in an unhappy relationship.

He needed to put an end to this.

The thought had just entered his head when a pronounced hush fell in the otherwise cacophonous cafeteria. Tyson looked around to spot the source of disturbance and saw Kai at the entrance, looking like he'd stepped straight out of some magazine. "Aw shit" He gathered his tray and bag, already on his way out of there. If they made a scene in the cafeteria, they would make it onto the news. Or worse, the tabloids. He had to run.

"Bye" Tyson bid a quick farewell to his friends and climbed out of his chair, trashing his unfinished lunch in the bin and walking out through the exit directly opposite to the entrance. He didn't make it five steps to the garden behind the cafeteria before a hand clamped down around his wrist and spun him around.

"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?" Kai asked him, trying hard to keep his voice contained. "I've searched fucking everywhere."

"No, you don't get to be angry." Tyson ripped his wrist free of Kai's grip. "You're the one who's been ignoring my calls and my text messages."

"Where's your phone?"

"I lost it."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"No! Because you don't care!"

They fought behind the cafeteria. Tyson beyond livid that Kai thought he had a right to be mad in this situation. He yelled at him till Kai realized he was in the wrong and began apologizing. At which point Tyson began pulling away from him, telling him he didn't have to be with Kai. He could be with someone who treated him better. At least with someone who considered him important enough to answer his damn calls.

Kai persuaded him to go to a café with him. To talk and sort this mess out somewhere people wouldn't overhear them. Tyson tried his best to give him a harder time, but Kai was wearing a black fitted t shirt and jeans and sunglasses hung from the neck of his shirt. His voice was irresistible and his eyes held Tyson like he was the moon. He gave in easier than he deserved.

God, he was so shallow.

Tyson was led to Kai's car and he called him a show off for bringing his Aston Martin and parking it right in front of broke college students. They went to a café where Tyson pointedly ordered a milkshake with just one straw. And drank it with an expression of utter boredom as Kai said his sorrys.

"If you think it's that easy to fix this, think again," Tyson told him once he seemed done.

He made the promises to answer his calls from now on. Tyson grew mellower the more he talked to Kai. By the time they stepped out of the café, he had progressed from wanting to kill Kai to merely teasing about killing him.

Kai invited him home then. "If you think I'm going to have sex with you after you cut my fucking calls you're insane," Tyson had huffed at him in response.

No sex. Kai proposed. Just hanging out. To remind themselves why they liked each other since distance was their major enemy.

Tyson had sullenly agreed at last at the offer of free homemade food.

When he arrived at Kai's house, he was treated to dinner cooked by Kai himself. And later, he was taken upstairs where there was an open floor gaming centre. Kai suggested they play cards. Tyson called him ridiculous. They played anyway and at some point Tyson's rude remarks turned playful and his glares transformed into adoring glances from behind the cards. He was full on giggling and blushing by the end of the game. For the last match, they made a bet. If Tyson won, Kai would get him a puppy and if Kai won, he would get a proper kiss from Tyson.

Tyson had been confident in his abilities and agreed without much argument. Then he lost. And Kai called him to his lap. Tyson perched gingerly on his leg. Moved in too fast to get it over with quickly but Kai stopped him and made him slow down. "I said a proper kiss, Tyson."

Tyson had leaned in slower then, letting the tension between them heighten to meteoric levels. When their lips touched at last it was like a switch had been flipped inside of him. Or like a spell was cast on him. Because he couldn't get enough of Kai's kisses. They were supposed to have stopped with just one kiss but they ended up tangled in bed, Tyson's moans loud in Kai's ear.

Tyson was supposed to have gone back to the dorm that night but he didn't. He spent the rest of the weekend in Kai's arms, almost entire days in bed.

Kai let Tyson give him blowjobs and fulfilled every other demand he had. By Sunday night, Tyson was sticky with cum. "I'm so disgusting right now," he said, spreading his fingers and toes.

He got a kiss on his cheek for effort. "No. You're kind of cute."

He was completely in love again. Tyson gasped as the thought struck him. The shitty boyfriend conversation he had had with Chelsea came to mind. He had to discuss it with Kai. "You know," he began tentatively as his hair was brushed back from his forehead by gentle fingers. "Somebody asked me why I was with you even though you don't satisfy like half the criteria for being my ideal boyfriend. And you cut my calls."

Kai had the sheet pulled up to his chest. A rare amused expression crossed his features. "That's funny because Tala asked me something similar."

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"He asked me why I was with you on the night we had that argument. Right before we had it actually."

"W- was that why you were so mad?"

"He was getting under my skin. I got a bit drunk."

"You got drunk?!" Tyson's eyebrows jumped.

Kai sighed, staring at the ceiling. "I had one beer. I don't drink because I don't like how it makes me feel. Out of control and angry. I'm sorry I took it out on you." He closed his eyes, pinching his nose bridge. "He wants me to break up with you."

Here's where Chelsea had gone wrong and Tyson slightly blind. Unlike Chelsea's club obsessed ex, Kai wasn't someone who texted everybody else and ignored his boyfriend. No. Tyson was the person Kai texted the most despite how little that was. He preferred face to face conversation or even calling where he had more to go on how Tyson was truly feeling than simply words on a screen. And while it was true Kai put work over Tyson sometimes there were many instances where he put Tyson over work too. He wasn't a shitty boyfriend. Just not his ideal one.

And he cut his calls only two times. Both in the same night.

"My friends want me to break up with you too," said Tyson.

They looked at each other. And started talking at the same time. "Do you want to break u-"

"-with me?"

They grinned. Tyson rolled onto his elbows and gazed down at Kai. "Why are we together, Kai?" he asked with a smile on his face and in his voice. "We don't have much in common."

"Why am I with you?" Kai asked thoughtfully.

Tyson nodded. "Why?"

He didn't reply for a long time, a frown marring his brow. Tyson buried his face in his hands. "What are we doing?" he muttered to himself, not offended Kai was taking so long to find a reason why he liked him.

A minute passed. May be an hour passed. Kai found something in the end anyway. "Do we need a reason?" he asked Tyson softly. "Because if there is a reason why I love you then doesn't that mean when the reason changes I would stop loving you?"

Tyson stared at him dumbstruck. He leaned up on his arms to give Kai the kiss of his life. "Who are you?" he asked between kisses. "How did you suddenly turn into Shakespeare?" Tyson sat up and plucked a pillow. "Where did you pull that line from?" He slammed the pillow down on Kai's head. "Which romcom did you steal it from?" He continued to assault him with pillows as Kai put up his arms to protect himself, grinning. "Huh? Who do you think you are? You can't say stuff like that and not expect me to fall in love with you. I know your little games. You twisted, sneaky, son of a- mmmph!"

His words were smothered when Kai threw his arms around him and pulled him down into the comforter, rolling them over. Tyson was sandwiched in between the blanket and Kai, and they were all wrapped up like a nice burrito. "You smooth bastard," whispered Tyson.

Kai grinned at him. "Look at yourself. You're covered in my cum-" he couldn't even finish his sentence before dissolving into laughter.

Tyson forgot how to breathe. Kai was always a vision when he laughed. Everything about him just lit up. Tyson felt soft and gooey inside because he'd made him laugh. Their bodies were touching in all the right places. Tyson felt the contract of Kai's muscles against his own stomach. He basked in the rich quality of the sound. God, it was even better up close. Him and all his white teeth and his devastating voice. It took Tyson a while to realize Kai was laughing at him, not with him. When he did, he kicked him. "You're sticky too," he said viciously.

"Mm" Kai snorted. "Let's get stickier." He whispered and pressed their lips together. Kai made love to Tyson that night.

END OF FLASHBACK

o-o-o-o-o

BROOKLYN

"Ricardo calls it crossing the veil. But it's not a veil exactly. You're moving from one location of existence to another. Like if you're on a 2D X-Y plane, and you almost die on that plane, the effects of the trauma should lead your brain to open a path from the X-Y plane, to Y-Z or X-Z. But we're dealing with more than three dimensions here. So it's a bit more complicated than that."

"Do you have an idea of how many dimensions?"

"We can perceive four. According to Einstein's concept of spacetime. Minkowski space is a combination of three dimensional Euclidean space and time. We're in a 4D space which is part of a higher dimensional space. Like a 2D object in a 3D space. Do you understand?"

"So we're 4D beings in a higher dimensional space?"

I nodded with a smile. "Mhm! Correct!"

Hiro's eyes held a certain light as they took me in. He liked it when I talked smart. We were in the grounds adjoining the house I'd fashioned for myself. The vegetation here comprised of giant, glimmering, night-blooming flowers. The dew on the petals making them glow. We sat on rocks facing each other amidst the breathtaking flora. The beasts retired to their homes at night time, and so they were nowhere to be seen. I didn't see many during daytime either. Their land was spacious while their numbers were few. Zeus, and Niambra, were the only ones I saw daily. They slept in caves nearby. Zeus liked the sea. He lived adjacent to the shore. Metal Drigger and he had had a fight over that stretch of land earlier because they both wanted the place to themselves and didn't like sharing. They ended up sharing anyway. Settling down as far apart from each other as they could get. Niambra liked flowers. She was sleeping somewhere close to us.

"What about your body back in earth?" asked Hiro.

"You leave an image behind. An image of your body in the state it was in right before you left."

He dragged a hand down his face. "We found your remains. I buried you."

I shot him a smile. "Thanks. You jumped off a cliff, right?" Hiro nodded. "They probably won't find yours."

Hiro was wearing another one of my clothes. He was adapting surprisingly well. He was staring at my shoulder, where the tunic had slipped. I didn't bother tugging it back up. Let him look. He could touch too if he wanted. Although he would never do that. Hiro repressed too much of himself.

He truly believed his brother was still going through a phase. He'd told me he was happy Tyson had begun to show interest in girls as well. America was doing wonders for his sexuality. Yet he'd seen Tyson hanging out with Kai around campus once and said he'd looked more taken by him than ever. He thought Tyson had a Kai fetish. I didn't even know what that was supposed to mean. But Hiro believed the attraction would pass once he'd had enough of him.

His conviction was unbelievable.

Hiro adhered to gender roles. He thought skirts were meant for girls and pants for boys. He stuck by all the societal norms. He scolded his brother for showing the slightest of interest in anything girly. He reprimanded and chided anyone who didn't abide by the same rules, but with me? He looked past all of that.

If Tyson were to wear an earring Hiro would never let him hear the end of it, but when I had worn an earring, he'd called me beautiful. A princeling. He didn't apply the gender rules to me the way he did to everyone else. If I did anything girly, he chalked it up to the quirkiness of my genius. He always gave me the free pass his brother deserved from him. And I'd like to think it was because he believed I was special. Not defective or something.

It was unfair to Tyson. And half the reason why Tyson had always been slightly jealous of Hiro's relationship with me. The other half was because he simply paid more attention to me.

Tyson would have to call Hiro's name more than three times to make his elder brother look at something amazing he was doing. I had only had to call him once. Sometimes I didn't have to say anything at all, he would already be looking at me.

Was it only platonic, Hiro? Was I a replacement for your brother even if I was nothing like the 'strong man' you wanted Tyson to be? Or was I something more?

o-o-o-o-o

FLASHBACK

They came out of nowhere. One moment he was brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed the next he was staring unseeing into his fear-stricken eyes in the mirror. The stink of the abbey invaded his senses. Dank walls and rat infested cells swimming in his mind. The visions were so clear Kai was afraid the hallucinations were back.

Then he heard the soft click of Tyson opening the bathroom door. "Kai? You okay?"

He blinked. Pristine white walls and sparkling ceramics surrounded him. Foam oozed from his toothbrush into the spotless sink he was standing in front of. Kai cleared his throat. "Yeah" he lied out of habit. Tyson laid a reassuring hand on his bare shoulder. "Hey, look at me," he whispered.

Kai met his warm brown eyes in the mirror, such a stunning contrast to his icy pale ones. Tyson smiled at him. "It's okay. You can tell me." He nodded encouragingly.

Kai rinsed the toothbrush and his mouth out. He dropped the brush in the holder on the counter next to the sink. He wiped the water from the lower part of his face. "Do you know we're related?" he asked him. "The man who killed your father, and your grandfather, and your friends?"

He saw something shift in Tyson's gaze. There was concern now. "Yes. You told me." He brushed his lips against Kai's skin, above his arm.

Kai nodded slowly. "How do you not hate me?"

"Why would I hate you because of who you're related to?"

"The entire Mogilevich family is after King because his brother killed off one of their precious heirs."

"Okay, but that's the mafia. I don't think like them." Tyson pressed a small smile into his shoulder. "For someone so smart, you can be really dumb sometimes, you know."

Kai sniffed. Everything was silent for a minute. "I saw the abbey," he said quietly.

Tyson's lashes fluttered against his skin. "When?"

"Just now." Kai clutched the edges of the sink. "Before you came in."

Tyson wrapped his arms around his waist, molding into his body as he hugged him from behind. "Like how you used to see it during the last championship?" Tyson asked him in a whisper.

Kai began nodding, then shook his head. "Not entirely." He sighed. "It was more like a…a vivid memory." Tyson was wearing his shirt. It was slightly big on him. The sleeves cut off at his elbows. He moved around Kai till he was squeezed in between him and the sink and hugged him softly. Kai brought his body closer to his own. He fisted the material of the white shirt in one hand. Tyson breathed quietly against him.

"Tell me about that day," Kai said to him. "The day of the attack. You never talked about it in detail with me." He felt the rhythm of Tyson's heartbeat change in his hold.

He drew back slowly. Kai picked him up and sat him on the counter. Tyson's hands rested between his naked thighs. He swung his legs lightly, back and forth, thinking. Kai ran his fingers along his bangs.

"I woke up happy," Tyson began gingerly. "Till I turned around and saw the bed empty by my side. You were gone. I checked the room. I tried calling you." Tyson shook his head. "I didn't know where you went. I thought-" his voice trembled, "I thought I'd done something wrong. Like I might have disappointed you somehow or grossed you out." He looked down, pulling at the fabric. "It was my first time. I didn't know what I was doing. I thought may be-" Tyson's mouth quivered down into a sad pout. Tears filled his eyes. "May be you found me disgusting." A tear fell. Kai took his face into his hands and wiped the wetness off his cheeks.

"I didn't," he told him.

Tyson nodded. "I know"

"You were perfect."

He almost laughed at the sudden confession. "'Perfect'?" he asked Kai. "Have you ever called anyone 'perfect'?"

"No" Kai said with an almost smile.

Tyson rubbed his nose. "I was heartbroken." He told him how the rest of the day unfolded, trying to be as elaborate as he can with the details. Kai listened to him intently, thumbs drawing soothing circles on his knees, and comforting him when it got too much.

When he was done, he had his head hanging. Kai shifted closer to him. Their foreheads touched. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

A sad, wavering smile pulled at Tyson's lips. "It was…just a terrible day. For both you and me."

"You more than me," Kai admitted in a whisper.

"Do I need to see someone?" Tyson asked him in a small voice. "I'm doing so much better now though." A troubling look passed his features before he pressed his face into Kai's chest. "He helped." Kai almost didn't hear him.

"Who?" Kai asked him very carefully.

Tyson had his face hidden from Kai. "Black" he said in the softest voice.

Kai frowned, having a hard time understanding him. "How?"

"He said some things." Tyson stayed silent after for a few minutes. "He's a monster. He doesn't have a soul." He grabbed the sides of Kai's torso. "But he said some things." His lips moved against Kai's collarbone. "Things that made sense." The words hung heavily in the air threatening to tip the balance of the entire universe till Tyson said he hated him again.

Kai rested his chin on Tyson's head, holding his nape, and decided not to push him any further sensing he had reached his limit. "Talking to someone might help. A professional, I mean."

"Okay"

Kai patted him. "I'll go with you."

END OF FLASHBACK

A/N: *STILL CRYING* YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I DONT WANT THIS TO END. THERE ARE LITERALLY ONLY TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! WTH. i dont want it to end. I dont even want to write the finale. I'm going to go ahead and tell yall right away that the next two chapters are going to be INTENSE so that when you finally get to the intense bits it wont be AS intense. You get me?

Also, what's with the overwhelming sweetness in the reviews section? You guys, we gotta die like men. Keep it together. Because if we're all a mess who is driving the bus? KEEP IT TOGETHER.

On another note, I am thinking about making an account on tumblr. Hmmmmmmmmm. I dont know. Is that where everyone is? Because if that's where you are I would love to be there too. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

(Reply to Ressyfaerie: I didn't know the Beyblade fandom was still alive and kicking. It's crickets in here. Apparently, yall are wylin on tumblr? *raises eyebrows* COOL. I literally write for fun but when I get reviews like yours I can't help but dissolve into a puddle. GOO. I AM AN EMOTIONAL GOO. YOU'RE SO FUCKING SWEET. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? I'm glad (*says while crying hysterically*) to know that this colossal monstrosity of words has affected you enough for you to make a whole account on this shitty site and write such heartwarming- (*dies for a second*) heartwarming reviews. I love you. I would love to connect with you on tumblr. I dont know how to use it though. So...ahem. What are your headcanons, bro? You keep saying we think alike.)

Keep it fucking together. Anyways, two more chapters to go. You have anything to say to me, you better say it now. Whatever it may be, because! This is the end...

Can you hear me crying?

I just wanted to thank you all for reading this fic. Those of you who have been around since 2017, yall are fucking legends. Thank you for all the support and love. And the newer readers, yall are just as precious. I love reading your feedback. Each and every single one. It never gets old. *starts crying again* Shit. I'm crying mostly because of the ending. I don't want to write it. Don't make me write it. It is a little too much. But we will do it together, yes? Yeah. *cries again* You're not gonna see me here the next chapter. I will be in bed. Broken beyond repair. So that's a lovely future to look forward to. I will write it when I'm ready.

For now, enjoy! I hope you had fun. I hope you're staying safe. Covid is rife here. PLease take care of yourselves. I love you all. Bye bye. See you soon. Leave a review! Mwah.

(I love you, Macibacsi)