All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property to the respective author. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer (and the motion picture Savages). No copyright infringement is intended.

*All the mistakes are my own*

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Out of everybody in this world, Edward's the last person you want to be tracking. He's not some average Joe off the street. The training he's had and the things he's done as a SEAL make trying to find him challenging and nerve-racking. Jasper's concerned about him but not freaking out. Not like me. He tells me that Edward will lose his steam and find a bar to drink away his anger. It's a nice thought, but he's sparing me the truth. I know my boy better than most, and if we don't find him before he finds Mike, he'll do something terrible and irreversible. Edward's a hothead; he will react, take out his vengeance, and ruin our whole lives without a second thought.

Yes, I know Mike deserves to pay for what he did to me, but my Edward shouldn't be the one serving the judgment.

"Call Phil," Jasper says.

I'm barely here and can't take my eyes off my phone. I've texted and called Edward several times. All of them have gone unanswered. It's all too familiar of the time we broke up those miserable months ago.

"Ugh," I whine, frustrated. "Why is he ignoring me?"

"Bean," Jasper says softly, reaching over and putting a cooling hand on the back of my neck. "We'll find him. What I need from you is to call Phil and get Newton's address."

"Okay." I get right with myself with a deep and calming breath. "He owes me this."

Jasper nods and says under his breath, "That's bare minimum."

Phil answers in the middle of the first ring. "Belly? I was just about to call you."

"I need…"

"Mike's address?"

"Um, yeah." I glance over at Jasper with confusion, and he mouths, 'What?' "How did you know that?"

"Edward."

I don't need to hear more.

"What's the address?" I say, far more urgently, we're already on borrowed time. Phil hesitates as my patience runs thin. "Tell me."

He rattles it off, and I repeat it out loud. Jasper enters it into the GPS, and we're thirty minutes away.

"Thanks," I say, and as I am in the process of hanging up, Phil calls out my name. "What?"

"He's not the same guy," he says.

I'm struggling to understand. "Who's not the same guy?"

"Mike," Phil says quietly.

Another dagger to my heart. It's hard to breathe.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because whatever happened between you two, I think it should be squashed." I merely nod as he continues to 'squash' me. "You can't hate him forever."

That's when I hang up or the call gets dropped, I'm not sure, but Phil's no longer there.

Jasper feels the turmoil in me. "What's going on? What did he say?"

"He, um, said that..." I say but falter as emotions get caught up in my throat.

"You know what? Don't tell me," Jasper says, yanking the phone out of my hand and placing it on his side of the SUV's dash.

"Why?"

"Because I'm fighting really hard here not to let Edward just kill the guy. I don't need to add Phil to the list."

That simple acknowledgment that I'm not alone anymore sends me flying over the center console and wrapping my arms around Jasper. I'm kissing his cheek and neck and making it hard for him to stay in his lane. He's chuckling but not fighting me off.

"Bean, babe. You gotta let me drive."

"I know," I say with a dreamy sigh. "You guys just mean everything to me."

Jasper reaches up and grips my forearm but says nothing. It's understood.

We drove that way for some time, tangled limbs and just relishing in each other's warmth.

Things get complicated when we pull up to Mike's district and see he lives in a gated community with a standing guard. Jasper curses and drives past. We park at the end of the street and turn off the SUV headlights. There was no Plan A, but now we have to come up with a Plan B.

"Maybe this is a good thing," I say to break the silence and unsurmountable tension.

Jasper quirks an eyebrow at me. "How so?"

"If we can't get in, then, maybe, Edward couldn't get in."

"Did he ever tell you the story where he had to crawl through a sixteen inch by twenty inche crawl space in Afghanistan?" I shake my head, and he continues. "He crawled through that tunnel for nearly two miles to get into an insurgents hiding spot. It took him four hours and it had to be at a hundred and twenty degrees."

"Soo…" I waved him on to get his point.

"Edward's already in the house."

I groan and snag my phone. "I'm calling him again."

"Good luck," he says, only half-heartedly. He opens the SUV door. "Stay here, I'm going to walk around and see what I find."

"Okay," I say, but I'm too immersed in repeatedly calling Edward. The bad news, he never answers. The good news, it rings and doesn't go directly to voicemail. I'm hoping he'll cave and pick up. On the fifth try, I leave a voicemail. "Baby, please call me back. I don't want you to do something that lands your ass in prison. If you are taken away from me, I can't think of what it would do to me. It would be impossible to live without you." It's a dirty trick and an awful lie, but desperate times call for desperate measures. "I might even kill myself."

When I hang up, I try to shake off that bad vibe. With all this stress of these last few days, a little something, something might smooth down my frayed edges. I'm searching through the center console, the glovebox, and the compartment under the stereo, looking for kush, but there's nothing. Jasper's probably carrying, but he's been gone for over thirty minutes, and I'm not sure when he'll be back. This hiccup makes me antsier. I look out the windshield but can't see him anywhere.

So frustrating.

As I pick up my phone to call him, it rings and vibrates. My fingers can't accept fast enough. "Edward! Babe! Where are you?"

"Outside your window."

I turn and come face to face with him.

He's pissed.

"Unlock the door, Bean," Edward says through the phone before hanging up. I press the button, and he's opening the door as soon as he hears the 'unthump.' He's on me before I can say a word. "What kind of message was that?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

He glares. "You say shit, I won't fucking repeat, just so I will call you back?"

My smug smile fades. "It wasn't my proudest moment."

"Jesus," Edward says, but his body is slowly relaxing. He places a shaky hand on my knee. "You don't know how close I was."

My heart speeds up as I give him a quick lookover. There's no blood. "Were you at Mike's?"

The hatred in him turns his green eyes black. "Yeah, I was in Newton's house, but he wasn't there. I'd planned to wait him out, but then I was an idiot and listened to your fucking message."

I let out a loud, relieved sigh. "So, everything's okay?"

Edward rolls his eyes at my enthusiasm. "You've effectively taken the wind out of my sails."

"That's so great!" I throw my arms around his stiff shoulders and nuzzle my face into his warm, sensual neck. God, he smells like sweat, but it's all him too. "I was so worried, baby."

This panic and retrieval was never about Mike or saving his life. It was about my life, about us, and how the sin perpetrated against me wasn't worth what my boys would be paying in the end.

Edward runs his hands up my back and then settles into me. "How am I supposed to let this go?"

"You'll have to find a way to be okay," I say, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Edward will stew on this for life. Hell, neither of my boys will get over the offense. The reminder will be there with every Baseball season. Even the Dodger's logo will constantly nag at them.

"Guess those season tickets are shit now," I say, only jokingly to lessen the tension.

Edward nods but then pulls back abruptly. "Wait a fucking second."

"What?" I'm so tired and confused. It's been a long day.

"Phil knew what Newton did before dinner, right?"

I nod slowly, still not understanding the workings of his brain.

"And he offered your boyfriends season tickets?" Edward chuckles sourly. "Either your stepdad is dense or more sadistic than he lets on."

It clicks with me. "Mike was the friend, huh?"

"Looks like it." Edward sighs as I feel the vibration in his pant pocket. "That's a problem for another day. Right now, we gotta go."

"Where are we going? Shouldn't we wait for Jasper? He left a while ago looking for a way in," I say.

Edward holds up his finger to silence my rambling. He takes out his phone and answers. "Yo, I'm back at the SUV with Bean." He pauses as Jasper says something. "No, I left before he got home." His green eyes fall on me, and they're accusatory, playful even. There's a smirk pulling at his beautiful mouth. "Naw, my conscience called me and set my ass straight." He laughs. "Yeah, I know. See you soon." He hangs up the phone. "He's on his way back now."

I smile, genuinely happy to have both my boys safe. "We can go home then?"

"Yeah," he says, putting both his hands on my neck and pressing his forehead to mine. "Our home."

And my heart flutters, knowing that our home is a little bungalow on the beach.

()()()

The last day in Arizona was uneventful. We spent our time lounging around the pool at the Phoenician. I made it a point not to see Renee and Phil after our dinner. It'd been an exhausting week, and I didn't want to see my stepdad after the Mike issue. Besides that, it was too much for my boys. Phil was on their shit list and they figured it was best to distance themselves from the drama. Also, I was tired of discussing everything to death - including my relationship. I'd spent too much time worrying over what people thought, how they would react, and whether or not they would give us their blessing.

I can finally say that I'm over it.

Fuck everyone.

They can think whatever they want about us.

On the plane, my boys and I went over how to move me out of Charlie's. I had an elaborate plan, all Mission Impossible like with wires hanging from the ceiling, but my boys liked to play it low-key. Sadly, Jasper wouldn't be a part of it. Once we landed in Laguna, he would have an hour layover before catching a flight back to San Francisco. He had class the next day and wanted a few hours to review for his final exams. It left Edward and me to break the news of our win to Charlie and load my stuff up in the Bronco.

Typically, I would be nervous, but things were changing inside me. I'd laid my soul down and survived the stomping. What else could anyone do? It was arrogant, but I felt invincible.

"Charlie gave us his word," Edward says. We're right outside the apartment door. My guy is giving me one last hoo-rah before we face my dad. It's cute. Not necessary, but cute. "So, if he tries to weasel his way out of it, don't freak out. Let me take the lead."

I smile as wide as possible. "Not a peep from me."

It's funny how confidence makes you easy-going.

Edward raps on the door with his knuckles.

Charlie's expecting us, and it's no time before he's in our face. "Welcome back. How was your trip?"

I roll my eyes and walk into the apartment. "Like you don't know."

Charlie feigns innocence. "What do you mean?"

But I don't want to do this dance with him. I'm tired and want to go to bed and fall asleep in Edward's arms. "I'm just here to grab some clothes. We'll be back tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff."

"You're moving out?" Charlie's genuinely surprised and follows me to my room. Edward hangs back and sits down on the living room couch. "I thought you would stay until after Jasper graduates and spend your birthday here."

My hands freeze on the zipper of the duffel bag as Charlie's sad tone hits me. The grand scheme of keeping me here for three more months failed, and now he's grasping at straws. Dad isn't an evil man, just a father who's unwilling to let go of his daughter. Our relationship is complicated. I hate him one day and love him the next. Today, I hate him, but I'm exhausted, and it's easy to make me feel bad. I do not want to feel bad for him.

It'll only convince me to stay.

I shake my head and push forward. "We never agreed to that."

"Bella," Charlie lowers his voice and shuts the door behind him. "Look, I know we haven't had the best track record, and these past few months have been rough, but I thought we were really turning a corner. The therapy has been helping. You've seemed happier."

"I'm happier because of them."

It's honest and hurtful, but a low blow. I feel like a bitch for saying it.

"I can't keep you here," he finally says after an awkward minute of silence. "I know that."

My back is turned to him as I busy myself with packing a week's worth of clothes. He stands there for a few more seconds before leaving, but the angst doesn't follow him. I take a breath and toss the bag on the floor. That doesn't help. So, I angrily kick the wall and then dramatically throw myself on the bed.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

Coming back here and leaving was supposed to be easy, but look at me! I can't fathom how he can break my steadfast resolve so fast.

Where did my arrogant confidence go?

Ugh!

I want to scream.

Or smoke.

Just do something to relax me.

Edward pops into my room. "You okay?"

"Where is he?" I ask, raising myself a little to see around him.

"He took a walk," Edward says and joins me on the bed. I don't have to say anything. He knows. "When all else fails, Charlie likes to lay on the guilt."

"I don't want to feel bad about moving out." I try to gulp back the sadness, but it's coming on me fast. "But dad's right. We were getting better. Maybe it's too soon. Maybe I should wait until I'm eighteen."

Edward wipes a single tear away from my cheek. "Bean, I'm not good at this comforting crap, but what I can tell you is the truth."

"Which is?" I ask, anxiously biting on my thumbnail.

Edward looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Charlie is fucking manipulating you. If you stay here, he'll only use that time to distance you from us." He stands, picks up the duffel bag off the floor, and tosses it on the bed. "So, pack up the rest of your shit and stop your fucking crying."

()()()

We leave before Charlie gets back, but I write a note about picking up the rest of my belongings tomorrow and posting it on his fridge door. The worst part of being young sometimes is the rapid influx of emotions. I'm growing up as a person, but it's still hard not to cry or be upset and occasionally overreact to situations. I want to be more like Edward and Jasper. They're always calm and able to assess a situation before they take action. Rarely do they regret how they responded to a problem.

It was me who threw them off their game.

Thinking back to the early days, Jasper and Edward fought to keep me at a distance. My boys assessed me, overthought the complications of getting involved with me, and still acted out of character.

I guess even the strongest are weak sometimes.

As we enter the beach house, Edward takes my bag to our room. I beeline to the kitchen, and my smile goes from ear to ear when I come across two cases of my soda, strawberry yogurt, and pepper jack string cheese. My boys took the time to fill the cabinets.

They always knew that I would be back.

Edward sits down at the bar as I grab a few snacks. "I was thinking about getting some takeout from Golden Dragon, but it looks like you got dinner covered."

I gulp down my bite of pepper jack cheese and toss the remainder in the trash. "I want orange chicken, mongolian beef, pork fried rice, and some egg rolls."

Edward laughs and pulls out his phone to order. "Is that all?"

()()()

An hour later, we're sitting on the futon eating our food and watching a Christmas romance movie on Netflix. Edward tolerates it because he loves me. I'm beside myself. The life of mine is simple and comfortable. I can't even begin to explain my happiness. After all the turmoil, the indecision, and months of self-induced agony, I can honestly say the outcome was worth every second.

Naturally, I wished none of it was necessary.

Jasper calls before bed, and we put him on speaker.

"Hey, hey, man," Edward greets, and it's so jovial and not like him, at all.

"Hey, babe," I say.

Jasper groans. "You guys sound good."

"You don't," Edward says and curls an eyebrow at me. "What's up, man? You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired and want to be done with this shit." He chuckles, but I can hear the exhaustion. "I miss you, guys."

"We miss you," I say, and the thought of running up to Berkeley crosses my mind. Edward sees this and shakes his head. He's right. Jasper has one more day and can be back to us by tomorrow night. I opt to change the subject. "Charlie was up to his old tricks again. He wanted me to stay there until my birthday."

"Sounds about right. I figured he would lay on the guilt trip. Works every time with you," Jasper says.

The insinuation hurts me. "Does not."

"She would be there right now if I didn't drag her out," Edward says, and he's smiling, clearly amused by it all.

"I…" But I can't defend myself. "Ugh. Why am I like this?"

"Bean, you giving a shit about your dad isn't a bad thing," Jasper says.

"Some assholes don't deserve her though," Edward adds.

"Arizona has established that," Jasper says. He sighs. "Fuck. I gotta go."

It's abrupt and concerning. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"My dad's calling me. It's…" He curses. "I'll call you guys tomorrow after finals, okay?"

"Okay," Edward and I say together, but the line disconnects.

My stomach drops. "That didn't sound good."

Edward nods.

"What do you think that was about?" I ask.

"Jasper has been fighting with his parents."

It's a slip of the tongue. I can tell by the way he's avoiding my eyes now.

"What?" I sit back and twist my body to get a better look at his face. "Since when?"

"I don't know."

That's a lie.

"Why hasn't he told me?"

"Honestly?" Edward grabs our plates and stands. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" I take the rest of our trash off the coffee table and follow him into the kitchen. "Of course it's a big deal. I'm your girlfriend and want to know things like this."

"Baby, you're our only priority. The shit Jasper goes into with his dad is fucking fodder."

I narrow my eyes. "Fodder? As in…"

Edward sets the plates in the sink and turns to me, clearly trapped and flustered. "As in, they're a bunch of rich fucks arguing about meaningless, elitist bullshit." I cross my arms over my chest and give him that look. He throws up his hands. "What?"

"Tell me what they're fighting about," I say, but regret it a second after as his eyes tell me that I don't want to know.

"All right, but this stays between us, you fucking understand?" Edward holds out his pinky. "Swear to me."

"This is serious," I joke and intertwine my pinky with his, and we shake. "I swear."

Edward can't back out now, and he scratches the scruff on his face. He's trying to decide how to word it. I would be lying if I said that didn't make me nervous. "Okay."

But then he says nothing.

I groan and half-laugh. "Fucking tell me, drama queen."

Edward casually grabs himself a beer out of the fridge and pops off the cap. He takes a big, long swig before taking a deep breath and spilling the beans. "Jasper's parents want him to work for the family business after his graduation."

"And?" I press for more because, honestly, there had to be more.

"And Jasper said he was going to be in Cambodia for a year."

There it is, the real reason for keeping it from me, but do I believe it?

"No," I say out loud, answering my silent question. "He's lying, right? I mean, it's so his dad gets off his back, right? The Cambodia trip was only for a month, right? He wouldn't leave us for a year, right?"

Edward sees me spirling. "Bean, just relax." His eyes search the kitchen until he finds what he's looking for, and the next thing I know, my boy is packing the pipe, setting it ablaze, and handing it over to me. "Smoke."

I inhale as deep as my panic breaths allow and that shit slams me hard. I cough. Not once, but thrice. Edward pats my back gently. The discomfort in my lungs doesn't stop me from taking another strong hit. My eyes glaze over, and I'm calmer with my high. However, I'm like a dog with a bone and demand answers.

"He lied, right?"

Edward slowly shakes his head. "We were going to tell you after the summer."

"The summer?" I repeat, but words don't make sense anymore. There's a blissful haze coming over me. Well, played, I think. My body slacks, and I sit down in the chair behind me. "Why wouldn't you just tell me now?"

Edward crouches in front of me. "Because after everything we've been through this year, we wanted to give you those months without anything hanging over us like a black cloud."

"And springing it on me at the last minute is..." I can't even speak. The pain of not seeing Jasper for a year is too real and painful. "Why? Why is he doing this?"

Edward tucks a wayward strand of hair behind my ear and shrugs. "He needs to do this."

"And what about us? What about me? Doesn't he care?" Inwardly, I'm sobbing, losing my shit, but outwardly, I sound calm and robotic. "It's our lives too."

"I know, and I told him that, but…." He stops and forces a smile. "Hey, he comes home tomorrow and we have almost six months together. Focus on that."

"Okay, you're right," I say as if I'm accepting the situation, but without him knowing, I've called Jasper on my phone. Edward's clueless until he hears our boy's voice on the speaker. "But I'm no quitter."

"Babe," Edward says as he reaches for my hand, but I'm up from the chair and running away from him. "Fuck!"

"Jasper?"

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Isabella Marie!" Edward uses his stern voice. "Give me the phone."

I glare and put the couch between us.

"Bean?" Jasper's frantic now. "Tell me what's going on."

Edward's pleading with me. "You pinky swore."

And if I was sober, he may have a rational person, but I'm high and desperate to keep my boys home.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, and as Edward leaps for me, I blurt it out, "So, a fucking year in Cambodia?"

AN: There's an alternate scene that was deleted and the reason this chapter was held up for so long. Bean had a fantasy I needed to nip in the bud. I will have it posted on my KrazyK85 Group. Just in case, you're curious. See you next update.