Chapter Thirty-Eight

To Denerim

I hadn't really believed we'd run into Beyha Joam – the man pedaling fake documents – so easily… nor did I think we'd find a small caravan of refugees fleeing darkspawn. We came across a discarded flyer with a fairly accurate likeness of me drawn on it. It said: Wanted; Alive – 250 Sovereigns.

Well, that was upped. Alistair cursed, "He's determined to 'rescue' you."

I called Inas, "Hey Bro… I need a favor…"

"How big this time?" he sounded worried and resigned.

"I need to be disguised. You see… I've got a bounty on my head that would give people here wet dreams."

"Oh, is that all? Had me worried it was another weapon set. Let me get Rachel and we'll port on over." Rachel was a mage friend of ours from the Kirin Tor.

When they got to us, we were 2 hours outside Denerim. Rachel was 5'6 with long brown hair, pretty green eyes and a dark complexion. I loved her milk-chocolate skin more than anything.

Rachel gave me a hug, "Hey, honey – Whatcha need?"

"… Make me look like her sister?" I pointed to Morrigan. Rachel motioned the witch forward.

Morrigan glanced at me in interest but came forward. Rachel put a hand on each of our heads. I felt my hair shortening to my mid back and felt the tingling sensation of getting thinner. This would wear off in no more than a month if left alone, sadly.

"Alright, honey – you now look human with black hair and gold-brown eyes… you also got a nice tan. You know how this works, right?"

"I'll be me again in a month if I leave it alone – or I can remove it at any time. Thanks' Rach. And thank you Inas for asking her."

He grinned, "Nessa sends her love."

"Getting close to time, isn't it?"

"Another 2 months," Inas beamed.

I smiled, "Alright, thank you both. I'll call if I need you again – and feel free to do the same."

"The Accuser thinking that the Prince will want to meet you, but as I haven't gotten him out of the Maw yet…"

"Yup – bye." And off they went. Alistair was pouting, "I like you better as you were."

I heard Leli giggling, "Aww that was cute."

"Well, I like my hair better the other way… and I miss my tattoos already. But look, I'm thin!"

Sten snorted, "You do not truly care."

"Actually, I do – but honestly this is a visual disguise not an altering one. I can still feel my gut and people would still run into it. I'm still the same; I just look different to the eye."

Alistair seemed to perk up at that, but Lyna just had to test it. She poked my ear, "Ooh! I can still feel the tips!"

I chuckled, "At least you didn't try to feel my gut – I swear, some people would do that."

We made camp since it was light out now.

Daylen spoke up, "Er… right, then… what's the plan for Denerim tomorrow?"

"Just getting into the City is going to prove challenging. They're watching the gates for anyone who matches the descriptions provided for the five wardens and myself. So, since they're looking for a group, we're going to split up. No more than 3 or 4 to a group. Alistair, Aedan, Rulen and I will be one group. Daylen, Carver, Morrigan and Sereda you're group 2. Wynne, Leliana, Lyna and Zev, you're group 3. Sten… pick a group – you'll stand out regardless, so you're playing mercenary."

I set about making Rulen look like Lelianas' brother – because Loghain hadn't met Leliana at this point.

"I will follow you, Kadan."

I nodded firmly. "Once we're all inside, our meeting spot is the Pearl. My group will handle things in the market for the most part. Sereda… Gorim is here if you wish to seek him out, but be warned – things have changed with him. He's selling wares in the market most days. Leliana, you will see out Marjoline here. You're group should be able to handle her as 2 rouges and a healer, but take this. It's a beacon. If you set it down on the ground, I'll know and teleport to you."

Sereda looked worried as she asked, "What… what changed commander?"

I shook my head, "There is no easy way to say it, Sereda… and honestly, you'd deny it if I told you. Alright, we will meet at the pearl at midnight and get some extra sleep. We need to do our things in the daylight here in Denerim, so that's what we're going to do."

Everyone ambled off to their tents. Alistair held me in our tent and said, "I really do like you better as you normally are."

I smiled, "I'm glad. Get some sleep love – we meet Goldanna tomorrow."

"Why? She's not actually…"

"To keep up appearances. No one can know that you know who your real mother is – not now, at least. If you go to Goldanna, she's going to make it known when you take the throne. Meaning Eamon won't have a reason to try and block you from the throne. Just… trust me, okay?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead, "Of course I trust you."

The next evening, we entered Denerim in batches – Sten, Aedan, Alistair, Rulen, Shana and I were in the first group. The guards did look at Aedan and Alistair in suspicion, until I spoke up to them.

Silverite and Fiona were disguised as kittens.

I put on an Antivan accent, "Excuse me – where would I find the market? I hired these as escorts but none of them know anything about Denerim, it seems! I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. A brute, a stable-hand and squire… doesn't exactly scream knowledge, does it?"

The guard relaxed and gave me a flirty smile, "No, I suppose it doesn't. Might I ask your business in Denerim, sweetheart? It's a bit of a terrible time for overseas travel."

I forced a blush and said, "My… you are a bold one. I am visiting an uncle of mine – I was only recently made aware of him, so I doubt he knows of me. But we nobles can't allow any such shame as working in a smithy to continue. Herren… that was his name."

Alistair was getting a bit agitated at the act – I could scent his jealousy and anger.

"Ah – I know him! He works for the most famous smith in Denerim – Wade; from Wade's Emporium. Now that you mention it, I do see a bit of resemblance. I didn't realize he was Antivan."

"He is not. Not born there anyway. So… could you point me in the right direction?"

"I'll do you one better – I'll escort you myself. My shift here is over; Ted there is my replacement."

I smiled, "Oh that would be just wonderful."

I knew my companions were on edge. "So, how did an Antivan get a Mabari?" the guard asked.

"Oh, it's not mine. The squire there… what was your name again, boy?"

Aedan coughed, "Thomas, M'lady." He had roughened his voice and spoke like a lowborn – good man.

"Yes… Thomas is Bann Teagans squire. Apparently the bann had a soft spot and allowed it?"

"I've heard the bann is a bit too good to his people. How'd you get the other two?"

"The brute… what did you call yourself?"

"Sten."

"That's it – such odd names they take, no? Sten was caged in a small town – I figured what better bodyguard than that, right? And the stable-hand… well, every good noble woman has at least one good-looking man to fetch for her."

Rulen snorted, "Now, cousin – do not start rumors."

"Of course not – everyone has something pretty that they look at."

The guard looked amused, "I never did catch your name…"

"Reyna – from a branch of the Montilyet that was based in Seleny. Have you ever been, Ser?"

"Landon, my lady. And no, I can't say I have…"

"Oh, Seleny is such a lovely city. We are famed for our graceful bridges and structures. You should go sometime."

"I think I might. Anyway, here we are – this whole area is the market, but this building here is Wade's Emporium. It was lovely to meet you, Lady Montilyet."

I flushed as he kissed my hand. The minute he was out of sight, I pulled them into Wades – because I knew the man was still watching.

"Hi… I'm looking for Herren?"

The brown-haired brown-eyed man at the counter looked stunned, "That's new – usually people are looking for Wade…"

"I might give him materials, but I can make my own armors. Herren… I need your help."

Wade had heard us, "Just what armors could you make that are better than mine?"

I blinked at him and pulled a dagger from my pack, handing it to him before also pulling out a cuirass.

Wade was looking them over and I looked back to Herren.

"Look – I can set your shop up for life. Drake scales, dragon scales, star metals, and even gold. All I need you to do, Herren, is pretend that you're my long-lost uncle who was separated from the Montilyet family out of Seleny, Antiva. I'm willing to give you 100 gold coins now if you swear it."

Wade cried out, "Please say yes, Herren! Look at the craftsmanship, it's perfect. I've never seen such metal before, either."

"But… I'm not a Montilyet!"

"I can fix that. In about 10 years, I really will have ties to the family so… if anyone asks, a distant niece named Reyna came to try and convince you to leave this shop, and you refused. That's all there is to it, I promise."

"I… you have the money…?"

I pulled out a pouch and handed it to him. He looked in it with wide eyes. "I suppose I could… call you my niece for now."

I smiled and handed Wade a box from my void storage, "This is full of drake scales and hides. I think there's some left-over star metal in there too."

Wade was giddy, "Ooh, you do know how to spoil your family! Herren, you never told me you had such a lovely niece!"

I chuckled, "Keep up the lie until I come to see you in a few months, I'll give you another 100 gold Herren."

He nodded, "That's really all you need from me?"

"That's really all. After the blight ends, you can crow from dawn to dusk that it was a lie and I won't care – just… while Loghain and his men are being ass-hats, I needed a cover."

I saw Herren smothering a grin, "Okay – that's more than fair. You have a deal."

I relaxed, "Thank you so much."

He nodded and we left. I made sure my face was a bit sour as we headed to the pearl – after talking to Kylon and getting the mission to clear out the thugs there.

Sten looked at me, "Why the deception?"

"Well, Sten – I don't think I could win against the whole country trying to capture me. Not all roads lead to death, right? Think of me as Ben-Hassrath rather than Antaam."

"Infiltration for the purpose of protecting the people… understood."

Aedan chuckled, "So… do we have to keep up the fake names?"

"You are the only one with a fake at the moment… but for now, yes."

We got to the pearl, so I looked at the leader of the mercs. "You are trespassing. Naughty boys – you know our mutual friend won't be pleased about this…"

"You… you're one of Howes' men! We didn't know miss, I swear. We'll be on our way."

That was quick. Alistair looked at me amused, "How long are you going to keep up the accent?"

"Until we leave, darling."

The rest of our group came filing in so I talked to the owner, "I need 7 rooms, dear – for three days. I'll pay it all up front."

The woman looked me over with a sly smile, "Any services required?"

"Oh, not the kind your thinking, sweetheart. Meals for breakfast and dinner."

"For getting rid of those brutes, I'll give you a bit of a discount. For 6 rooms and meals, 36 total meals… 12 sovereigns."

"My but that is a deal. Here you are, dove."

"Can I get your name?" she was flirting hard.

"Reyna from Antiva. And if you hear anything about Wardens, I'd love to know – I'll pay extra for any information."

She got serious, "There are some me in the far back room… I don't approve of what they're doing but they have a powerful backer. Last door on the right; they are luring any Warden sympathizers to them with a flyer in the market and killing them."

I nodded and passed her two gold coins, "Thanks for the tip… how much would I need to pay you for disposing of their corpses when I kill them?"

She smiled, "Only what you just did. That will take care of cleaning the room."

"I'll make it as neat as possible, love." I winked at her. She smiled and nodded, "Here's your keys – first 3 rooms on either side and the 4th on the left down that hall there."

I shot her a grin and we all found a table, "Alright, rooming arrangements. Daylen, you're with Morrigan room one on the right; Aedan is rooming with Leli in room two on the right; Zev and Lyna have room 3 on the right. For the left, Alistair and I will take room one; Wynne and Sereda in room two; Sten gets room 3. Carver and Rulen will get the final room."

I spotted the pirate I the corner fighting 4 men and smiled. "Zev, dear – introduce me to your friend over there."

He glanced and lit up. "Of course, Bella."

Lyna looked confused as we all headed over after Isabela was done handing the men their asses and we had eaten.

She looked almost exactly like from the second game; wavy brown hair – it actually reached her mid-back and was done up in a ponytail – lovely green-gold eyes, golden tan skin, signature white dress and black corset, black thigh-high boots, blue bandana and gold jewelry. Her daggers were more like mini scythes with black hilts. She was dealing with three thugs.

"And look who we have here. Come to apologize for leaving me bereft of my Lord husband and then vanishing without a trace?" Isabela remarked upon seeing Zev.

"You know it was just business Isabela; business that turned out well for you, I see. You inherited the ship, I take it."

"Hmm, I suppose I never did like the greasy bastard, and the Siren treats me far better than she ever did him. Any catching up Zevran and I have to do, we couldn't be doing out here. Now Zev, shouldn't you introduce us?"

"Bellissima, allow me to formally introduce you to Isabela, Queen of the Eastern Seas and the sharpest blade in Llomerryn. Isabela, this is Lady Atarah Stormlight – leader of the Wardens in Ferelden, and a woman I have pledged to protect during the blight. And the other lovely women are Lyna – my lover – Sereda, Wynne, Morrigan, and Leliana. The men are Alistair, Aedan, Daylen, Rulen and Sten."

A pleasure to meet you in person, pirate queen; I can't wait to see what the future holds," I gave her a smile as I held out my hand for her to shake. She looked amused.

"Are you attached to any of these men, kitten? You look just my type," she purred.

I smirked, "Who isn't your type, dearest?" she burst into laughter, "True enough! But that doesn't answer the question."

"Alistair is mine for now. But I could be persuaded to share."

Alistair flushed and replied, "You really want to… are you… I mean…"

I grinned at him and turned, "Why not, my love? It could be… interesting – besides, I already got permission from Cullen and Anduin."

He groaned and I knew the whole party was watching us as he said, "Interesting, she says – like it was a good book or maybe a delightful pastry. Well… Makers' Breath – I'll say it! I am a weak, weak man; guess I'll just… have to play along." Jaws hit the floor – I was beaming and Isabela looked amused as she said, "And what about you, Zev? For old times' sake?"

"Ah… no. You will have your hands full as it is with these two – perhaps another time, if we can convince Lyna?"

"I will hold you to that, Zevran. Come, then – my ship is down by the docks and I'm sure you'll find my cabin quite… comfortable."

I looked at the rest of the group with a smirk, "Play nice… I'll be back in a few hours… maybe."

When we got back, I was… practically goo. "That was intense, lover…" I muttered to her as we entered the Pearl. She grinned, "That it was."

Alistair looked a bit embarrassed and stuck beside me, his arm around my shoulders as we re-entered the Pearl. I spotted our group and we headed over. Bela had been mostly thoughtful on our trip back… she was right though – her cabin was very comfortable.

Just as we got to the table where everyone was convened, she turned to me and kissed my cheek before saying, "My dear… you wouldn't consider… leaving Alistair with me, would you? Perhaps letting me borrow him for a few weeks every summer? I'm sure we could work out a deal…"

Zevs' eyebrows shot to his hairline and Leli looked stumped. I giggled, "That's up to him, isn't it?" the whole group was looking at Alistair as though in a new light.

Alistair coughed as he flushed, "Not that the idea of being… borrowed isn't terribly fascinating… but let's not forget the Darkspawn. There may not be a week every summer or any summer."

Isabela let out a laugh, "Darkspawn! Is that the only thing men think about these days? What about the good old obsessions – breasts, firm buttocks or wet frocks?" I let out my own laugh. Bela smirked as she looked at me, "What about you, sweet thing? Could I borrow you?"

"Sweet, sweet thing – I have three husbands. The boys just let me play with women once in a while."

"That explains his… determination to do so well. Still, if you ever decide to have some more fun, I'm sure you can find me around… we could even invite your other husbands. That might be a night to remember."

"Oh, good luck; Anduin is a Priest and far too… noble to ever agree to that and Cullen… well, we might get him to agree."

"Just point me to this… Anduin and we can talk," she smirked.

I pulled out my phone and held up a finger. Anduin answered on the third ring – must have been doing something.

"My Queen?"

"Honey, I have a special friend that would like to meet you. That woman I told you about."

"By the Light… I'll meet her – but I'm not… getting into bed with another woman."

I gave Bela an amused smile, "Don't make promises that you might not keep, love."

I brought Bela to Alistairs' and my room with the Templar. Actually most of our friends followed out of curiosity.

Anduin stepped through and instantly went to kiss me. He was a very affectionate person. Bela looked ravenous all of a sudden as she looked up at the High king.

I made introductions, "My love, this is Isabela – Queen of the Eastern Sea, according to the assassin I keep as a pet. She could put Nessa through her paces, at least. She's a pirate. Bela, my sweet, this is High King Anduin Wrynn of the Alliance, King of Stormwind and the Illidari."

Anduin – not one to take my words lightly – gave Bela a bit of a bow before moving to kiss her hand, "My Lady."

She hummed – more of a purr, "Oh, my… I'd love to see what you have…"

Anduin flushed as I grinned, "He's a giver."

"… You sure that we can't convince you, sweetness?" she asked Anduin.

Anduin coughed uncomfortably – I saved him, "He's a Priest, Bela."

"Oh – but he's married to you?"

"He's took vows to me during our wedding – that he wouldn't take another. I obviously didn't take those vows. It's fun, but it will be very rare that I find a woman to bed. The point here is that Anduin took Vows and won't go back on them."

"What sort of King would I be – no, what sort of husband would I be if I did?" Anduin straightened. He didn't take a vow to take no other, but it was getting him out of bedding the Pirate so he wasn't going to contradict me.

I pulled him down so that I could kiss his cheek. He obliged. He continued, "And if you really like her – you can consult with Cullen, but I see no problems in making her a… regular occurrence in your bed. But that's up to you."

"Oh, Bela doesn't commit – she likes fun." I commented as I moved to lounge on the bed.

Bela winked at me, "Oh, I don't know – you are a Queen…"

"Oh I could get you anything your pirate heart could ever want. I'm richer than a whole faction of people – of which I am the Queen only recently. You want a ship? I could do that. You want a ship that traverses the sky instead of the waves? Guess what I can do?" I winked at her.

"Oh – you do know how to charm a girl, don't you?"

"I could get you the best Galleon if that's what you like. I could get you a beautiful ship that looks perfectly legit and better than anything you could get here. Ah, and I wouldn't keep you tied to me, either. You could do whatever you please with whoever pleases you." I was smirking now – my group seemed to not know what to do with this.

Alistair and Anduin were flushed as Bela came over and sat on the bed with me, "Talk like that will get you everywhere, doll."

I lifted an eyebrow at Alistair, "Can I keep her? I've already licked her – I can't put her back."

Rulen almost bust a gut laughing. Anduin was red. Alistair said, "S-shouldn't… we ask… Cullen?"

I hummed and called him, "Hey Cullen – you remember that pirate I asked about?"

"Y-Yes? Maker… Er, it's my wife, Knight-Commander… I'm not entirely sure how this thing works. She's in Ferelden… My Commander wants to speak with you."

"Okay…"

"This is Knight-Commander Meredith Stannard – who is this?"

Well – she got the concept of phones right away. I smirked, "This is High Queen Atarah Stormlight, Queen of Stormwind, Queen of the Illidari, Queen of the Vampires, Duchess of Northshire, Crown Princess of Ferelden, and Daughter of the Lord Regent of Quel'Thalas."

"And I'm the Queen of Antiva," She remarked drily.

I heard Cullen cough and say, "Knight-Commander… she really is a queen of… several things. I wouldn't… offend her, if I were…"

"Ask Cullen to show you his crown – he's Prince Consort of all those places too. It's stamped on the inside."

"Knight-Captain – you have a crown?" Meredith asked.

"Maker… it's here. I keep it on my person at all times…" Cullens' voice sounded embarrassed. He seemed to take the phone back. "You were talking about a pirate?"

"Can I keep her? She's feisty. The others said it was up to you – she came on a little hard and sort of seduced Alistair into saying yes and Anduin said if it makes me happy."

He choked, "Er… I mean… I-I's have to meet her…"

"Mmmh – so this conversation will have to wait about a year then… okay."

Meredith exclaimed, "Captain – why was I unaware that you are a crowned prince?"

"Because it… isn't relevant to my job?" Cullen sounded so lost. "It was ordered by the Divine for me to marry her – the title that came with that is shared by the future King of Ferelden so…"

"The divine ordered you to marry this woman?" Meredith sounded confused, "Why?"

"That… isn't my place to say…"

She must have snatched the phone, "Why were you ordered to marry my Knight-Captain?"

"To promote relations between my lands and Thedas. We're a very prosperous people. You can contact her – ask her yourself. Anyway; I only called for permission for something and the answer was not for the moment so, I'll talk to you later." Click.

Anduin lifted an eyebrow, "So, you don't like her, then?"

"Not a scrap – she's a bigot, bitch and a few other unsavory words that I don't dare repeat in front of innocents." That was a hint. If my mates didn't catch on at this moment, then that was their own fault.

Anduin didn't – he thought I was talking about him, "I've heard worse."

"Uh-huh – you don't swear. Until you do, I can't trust that you've heard such naughty words. Anyway, Meredith makes me feel uneasy. She's the type that – when she knows I'm a mage – will want to lock away my children like rats. So no – I don't like her."

Bela pouted, "So I don't get a new ship?"

"When you lose the one you have and I can be reasonable sure you won't leave me high and dry." I winked.

She laughed, "Fair enough – the Sirens Call is a good ship."

"Yeah – but what would you call a new ship? The Wet Dream? Aquaholic? Reel Booty? Sea-Ductress? No – I got it! Miss Behaving!"

She burst into giggles as Sten snorted – surprising me. Carver said, "I suppose any of those would work for a… woman who likes to play around, right?"

Bela looked him over, and I almost shot up giddily at her words, "You look like a man I once dueled. He was a little intimated by my reputation as a vicious pirate, but rose to the challenge."

Anduin caught on that I was excited and gave me an amused look. Carver tilted his head, "He looked like me, you say?"

"It went on all night, under the stars, the waves lapping at our ankles," Her voice was lightly wistful. By now, Alistair, Sten, Morrigan and half the others had caught on to my amused excitement so they didn't comment.

"On the beach? In the surf? How did you get proper footing?" Carver looked lost.

"We didn't. There was quite a bit of tumbling around, and we were soaked and sore by the time the sun came up." She was grinning.

"Oh… did you… win?" he seemed to catch on finally.

"I managed to get on top in the end, but I considered it a tie." She winked.

Carver went red. I laughed, "And now it's awkward. I love this girl – so awesome. Right, but what would you name a new ship?"

"Mmmh – you've given me so many good ideas. I'll think on it – and let you know when I see you again, Kitten."

I gave playful purr and winked at her before she left the room.

Anduin shook his head, "You really called me here to try and get me in bed with a Pirate?"

"Alistair did – thought it might be interesting to see if you would too."

Anduin gave Alistair a shocked look, "You…?"

"Ahem… she… gave a convincing argument?" Alistair muttered.

I grinned, "But really – this was just me having fun teasing you. I like seeing you get red."

He rolled his eyes before moving to kiss me, "As long as you know that I only want you."

"I know – I love you, my King." I smiled.

"I miss when you would call me Prince Charming." He sighed. I had – I'd called him Prince Charming from the time he was 8 to the time he took the throne. He'd loved it – because I'd actually written a book under a pen name with a Prince Charming; but not Cinderella. It was meant to be what I imagined Anduin would be like… and it was.

I smirked, "You do know I wrote that book, right?"

"You did?" he looked surprised.

"Yeah – you were the inspiration behind Prince Charming."

"But that book was written centuries… ago… By the Light…" Anduin flushed, "That book was part of what made me want to be… it sort-of moved me to be like… so I was essentially modeling myself after myself?"

I grinned, "But I can't call you that anymore – you're a king, not a prince."

He chuckled, shaking his head, "You are terrible. But I love you, my Queen."

"You used to call me Rose," I hummed.

"Of course – I fell in love with you and you called me Prince Charming; how could I not call you rose?"

"Wait, what?" Alistair asked.

"In the story that I wrote, Prince Charming marries the Rose Princess – the princess was fictional, but the prince was always Anduin. Well, I started calling Anduin 'Prince Charming' when he was about 8 – when he turned 14, he started calling me 'Rose Princess' which devolved into just Rose when he was 16."

"And you didn't realize he was basically proposing to you from that first moment on?" Aedan pointed out.

"Oh, I knew – but with his future and the fact that we weren't mates – so I thought – it meant we couldn't be together. Though I was flattered by his interest. Especially because it never waned."

"Chromie tells me that she only muted your half of the bond while actually amplifying mine when I turned 14. I was already on the path to falling in love with you – but if you hadn't shown interest, I would have backed off a long time ago without the increase in feelings. And if I had backed off, we'd never have been together – because you wouldn't have been attached to me enough to go into the maw."

"Really? But… it was always my plan to prevent that… always, Andy. From the moment I opened my eyes in Azeroth…" I muttered.

"Well, Chromie says that you wouldn't have if I had backed off." Anduin shrugged.

Chromie never lied – she had no reason to. I hummed, "Well, if she says it… I can't see it, but Chromie has never been wrong."

I yawned, "And anyway – it's bed time. Long day tomorrow. Oh – have someone put together some smithing materials; good quality, from this list. I promised a new fake uncle that if he pretended to be my uncle, I'd provide materials he'd never seen before with smelting instructions. I needed a cover for being in the city due to that bounty."

Anduin looked it over, "This is simple enough – nothing exotic and mostly fairly cheap. Mithril, True-silver, Dark Iron Ingots, Fel Iron, and cobalt are easy; oh – the Lightning Steel might be pricy, but it's doable. How much of ach do you need?"

"Not much – just about a crate of each for Wade to play with. In all, it shouldn't cost more than 50,000. Take it from my estate."

He smiled, "If you insist. Though, I could take care of it, you know."

"But this is my expenditure and doesn't actually benefit the Alliance so… I should pay for it."

"Hmm – you have a point. But I do have one question. Your step-father and uncle are tight-lipped but seem to be the only ones that actually know when your birthday is. I'd like to know. You know when mine is, so it would only be fair."

I frowned, "I don't celebrate my birthday, Andy. I have like… 4 of them. And none of them are the same day! It doesn't matter much to me…"

"But…" oh no… he was giving me that pout that he knew I could almost never resist.

I groaned, "Very well – my human birthday was the 5th day of the eighth month, Skyrim was the 3rd day of the 1st month, Azeroth was the 1st day of the second month and here was the day I came to Thedas."

"Well, the Azeroth one was your birthday the longest – shall we continue using that one?" Alistair asked.

"Why do we have to celebrate at all?"

Alistair pulled a guilt card, "Because not celebrating would… um… make our children not want to celebrate theirs?"

I snorted, "Low blow, Alistair – using our kids as an excuse. Even if you're right… fine. Guardian 1st it is. Now – bed time twerps."