Gabriel pulled the blanket draped over his shoulder tighter around him. He briefly closed his eyes, but when the image of Lillian's battered body appeared he opened them again. Instead he stared into the darkness, the light of the fire to his left only going so far.

The dream had been the same as the one that had haunted him last night, making sleep difficult. The night before though, tears hadn't been involved. At the thought of realizing there were teardrops on his face when he woke up, he felt his face flush. It was a strange feeling in itself, as the rest of him felt cold. Not that Nathan hadn't seen him cry before, because he had. Just as he had seen Nathan cry. However, it seemed silly to cry over a dream. A dream that didn't even depict reality.

Jack had threatened Lillian but he hadn't done anything physical to her. Much the same way Sinclair had made an implied threat against her. The simple fact was he could have and like Jack had told him at the trial, he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

"Gabriel, I can't make you talk to me," Nathan stated, his arm still across Gabriel's shoulders. "However, if you don't, chances are I'll be sending a wire to Elizabeth when we get to Brookfield telling her there will be a delay in my return."

"Trying to blackmail me into talking?" Gabriel accused, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that," he said.

"I'm just concerned about you. You clearly didn't sleep well last night, and I've got a good idea why now."

"It was the same dream as last night," Gabriel replied, knowing that if his friend was concerned about him he would delay his return home. Just like he would do if their positions were reversed. "I couldn't protect her. Lillian was calling out for my help and I was powerless to do anything. Even when she was lying on the ground at my feet, battered, I couldn't even comfort her. What if it had happened that way? What if instead of just locking them in a room, Jack had raped one or both of them while I was tied up downstairs?"

"What if you had tried to overpower Jack Trenton, and he had shot Grace? Or Lillian?" Nathan said from beside him.

Gabriel felt a shiver go up his spine, because he knew that Nathan's scenario would have been very likely if he had pulled his gun or tried something else when he first saw Jack.

"Playing the 'what if' game never leads to anything good, Gabe."

"I know," Gabe stated. Hadn't he said close to the same thing to Clark only the other day? "I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to Lillian, or one of those children, because of my job."

"That's always a risk," Nathan agreed. "The fact that our friends and family could be put at risk is one of the dangers of our job that they make sure we're aware of during training."

"I know. I've just been really aware of it lately."

"Having someone you love around you tends to do that," Nathan said. "That danger became real for me when I became guardian to Ally. One night it just hit me, if some bad guy wanted to hurt me, going after that little girl would be the way to do it. Now, I've got Elizabeth and Little Jack to be concerned about as well."

"How do you deal with it?"

"I've come to realize that all I can do is try to stay aware of what is going on around me and know that if there ever is a danger, protecting them isn't all on me. I know I've got Bill and others in Hope Valley that would help. The force would also send back-up if needed."

"Sometimes that back-up seems far away," Gabriel commented, thinking about the situation with Sinclair. But Nathan was right. He and Sam might not have been best of friends, but Gabriel had known he could count on the other guy to look out for Lillian. Others in Brookfield would have been willing as well. Chuck and Joe apprehending Jack because he had been unaccounted for was proof of that.

"I know exactly what you mean," Nathan replied. "I may have gone into this job not wanting a family of my own because of what my father did to my family growing up and the fear that I would turn out like him. However, this kind of situation is what helped convince me that the view point that a Mountie shouldn't have a family was correct."

"Ironically I'm starting to wonder if a Mountie loving someone is a disservice to them."

"Gabriel, what happened with Trenton was not your fault," Nathan told them. "He didn't target the orphanage because of your relationship with Lillian. He didn't even know about it at the time. He went to the orphanage because he saw it as an easy target. It's set apart from town and is run by three women. He didn't bank on you showing up. If you hadn't shown up, someone in that house could have gotten hurt worse and the guy might have gotten away."

"I hear you, Nathan. Logically, I know you're right. I can't help but wonder if Lillian feels that way. I know she was angry at me with the Sinclair situation. She had every right to be. Sinclair threatened her because he saw us together at the hotel."

"Then ask her," Nathan stated simply.

Gabriel looked over at his friend. He couldn't believe that Nathan had so casually suggested that . . .

"Look, most of the early arguments I had with Elizabeth were because we weren't being open with one another. We made assumptions and those assumptions caused a lot of confusion and unnecessary hurt feelings. I'm not going to claim it solved everything. We still argue and inadvertently hurt one another's feelings on occasions but by being open with one another those situations get resolved quickly. You can't just assume you know how Lillian feels."

"I don't ever want her or anyone else at the orphanage to get hurt because of me."

"So what are you going to do?" Nathan asked. "Leave?"

"Putting in for a transfer has crossed my mind," Gabriel admitted.

"You don't think, after everything that has happened, that you won't hurt Lillian by doing that?"

Gabriel sighed. Nathan was right. He had got what he wanted. Lillian had told him she loved him. He knew that he had found that special someone to share his life with. It was what he had wanted all his life.

Now here he was talking about turning his back on all that.

"The one thing I have learned over the years is that we can't always protect those we love. People get sick. People get hurt. Bad people do bad things. All we can do is try to prevent what we can, and learn how to live with what we can't."

"I thought that seeing Lillian lying on the floor of the burning infirmary was the worst feeling I could ever feel. I was wrong. The worse feeling is knowing that someone you love is in danger and you can't do anything about it."

"I know what you mean. When Colleen was dying, all I wanted to do was take her place so that she could stay with her little girl. There was nothing I could do though except be there for her during those last days and promise to take care of her little girl. Feeling helpless is never easy but I've come to realize something reading the letters that Colleen wrote near the end. The fact that I was there, that she knew I would be there for Ally, that brought her peace at the end. I have a feeling that Lillian took comfort in the fact that you loved her enough to put yourself in danger to protect her."

Gabriel knew his friend was right. Nathan wasn't just saying things to try to make him feel better. The situations were different, but Nathan knew better than most how he felt.

"Don't waste time on what could have happened or what could happen. Just love Lillian, Gabriel. Make the most of whatever time you get with her. How long we have isn't in our hands."

Gabriel's vision blurred as he felt the emotions well up inside him. He wasn't the first person to face the emotions he had been dealing with. His friend had gone through them. Elizabeth had dealt with similar feelings and had still allowed herself to love Nathan after losing her first husband to the duties of a Mountie. Tess had lost her husband and continued on with the ranch her husband had started. He knew Joe had lost his wife in a wagon accident though his friend refused to give details. Every child at that orphanage had lost family, whether they remembered it or not.

Gabriel realized that he had been lucky when it came to loss. Yes, he remembered losing a grandfather and grandmother, but he hadn't been close to them. They had died peacefully after a long life. There had seemed something natural about their passing away.

Every other time he had ever seen death it had been with someone he didn't know or hadn't been close to, except for the men he had lost up in the Northern Territories. Though he had felt those losses deeply, it hadn't felt like this. He had grieved their loss but it hadn't felt like a knife piercing his heart. He hadn't even loss Lillian. She hadn't even been physically hurt and all Grace had suffered were some bruises.

Yet he had seen her death in his dreams. He could even now see her battered body from the most recent dream and all he wanted to do was protect his heart from further hurt.

Gabriel reached up and wiped tears away. "This is ridiculous. I'm crying over some bad dreams."

"Dream or not, the feelings are real," Nathan said, giving Gabriel's shoulders another squeeze. "Just remember that you don't need to deal with this alone. You've got me and you've got Lillian. Talk to her. Share your feelings with her. That's part of what being in love is about."

Gabriel nodded, as he rested his head against his friend's shoulder. Right now, he just wanted to know he wasn't alone.

"Those potatoes are not going to peel themselves."

"What?" Lillian asked as she tried to process the words she had barely heard. She looked at Eleanor and then down at the bowl in front of her. So far she had managed to peel one potato.

"Sorry," Lillian murmured. "I guess my mind is elsewhere," she added as she picked up a potato and started to peel it.

"Yeah, like listening for approaching hoof beats," Eleanor replied, as she went back to mixing the dough for the biscuits. She had made more than normal, anticipating having two Mounties joining them for super that night. Two Mounties that would enjoy a warm meal after the long ride back from High River.

"Guilty," Lillian admitted.

Laughter from the sitting room floated into them.

"I thought Grace was supposed to be helping those children with their spelling words," Eleanor stated.

"She was. Knowing Grace, she probably incorporated something creative into it instead of simply learning spelling words."

"I just hope the kids learn along with all the fun."

"I'm sure they will," Lillian commented as she went about peeling the potatoes. She made a mental note to quiz the kids on a few words later just to be sure.

Lillian got through two more potatoes and was picking up the third when a couple of the children called out, "Constable Grant and Mountie Gabe are back!"

Placing the potato back in the bowl and putting the knife down, Lillian headed for the front door. What she wanted to do was run outside and throw her arms around Gabriel. However, that would not be dignified, so she kept her pace to a quick walk.

Reaching the sitting room, Grace was herding the kids away from the door and back into the sitting room.

"They are both going to be joining us for super tonight. There is no reason for all of you to swarm them right away," Grace was telling the children.

"Yeah, besides Miss Lillian probably wants to welcome Mountie Gabe back with a kiss," Christian teased.

Lillian felt herself blush, as Grace tried to get the children focused back on their spelling. Her sister specifically asked Christian one of his spelling words in an attempt to distract the boy. Lillian had a feeling there would still be little faces in the window and found she didn't care. She was glad the children were excited about her and Grace's relationships with Gabriel and Chuck. Given all they had already loss, it would be easy for the children to feel as if they were losing her and Grace to the new relationships as well. Instead, they were seeing it as gaining something and Lillian knew that was good.

As Lillian stepped out on the porch, Gabriel was dismounting Apollo. Dropping the reigns, he hurried up the steps. Before Lillian had taken more than a couple steps, she found herself in Gabriel's embrace.

The suddenness of it all took Lillian by surprise. All of Gabriel's embraces and kisses thus far had been slow and tender. This embrace had an urgency about it. Though she didn't know why, she felt as if Gabriel needed to hold her tight to reassure himself about something.

For now, Lillian wasn't going to question it. Instead, she simply wrapped her arms around Gabriel, and resting her head on his chest, held him close as well.

"I missed you," Lillian told him quietly.

Gabriel started to speak and then got choked up. Raising her head from his chest, Lillian looked up at him. She could see the swirl of different emotions in his eyes.

"What is it?" Lillian asked softly.

Her answer was a slight shake of Gabriel's head. Deciding that now was not the time to press for an explanation, Lillian moved her right hand from around Gabriel's waist to reach up for his campaign hat. Removing it, Lillian rested her chin on Gabriel's left shoulder, the hand holding his hat resting against his back, She leaned the side of her head against his.

Looking over Gabriel's shoulder, Lillian met Nathan's gaze. The other Mountie had Newton and Apollo's reigns in his hand.

"Just be there," Nathan mouthed to her before heading in the direction of the shed with the two horses.

The instruction made Lillian feel a little better as it told her that Nathan knew what was going on. The fact that Nathan wasn't hovering told Lillian that there wasn't any immediate concern. Gabriel also didn't seem to be injured. However, that didn't mean Gabriel didn't need her. It was clear that he did, by the way he was holding her. There would be time to find out what was going on later.

"I love you," Lillian said softly as she held onto Gabriel, hoping that just her presence was helping bring him some kind of peace.

Gabriel didn't repeat the words, but that was okay. The way he was holding her told her that he felt the same way.