Author's note: Sorry for the delay in publishing the last chapter. Life and a bit of writer's block got in the way. Enjoy!

Chapter 39 – An Early Morning

It was no use.

Sirius Black tossed and turned on his bed; unable to get comfortable, unable to fall back asleep. He threw his sheets off and on. He tried counting Hopping Hippogriffs. He needed more rest, the proper deep kind that helped heal. His mind was refusing what his body desperately needed.

Sirius quietly pulled the curtains around his bed open, and was relieved to see the sun starting to peak out of the horizon. As long as the sun was out, it wasn't too early to start his day, he reasoned. His mates were all still sound asleep, and he had no intention of changing that. A younger version of himself would have started jumping on all their beds; excited for an extra hour with his friends before the summer break. This morning, the sound of their even breathing brought enough comfort.

Now that he was up, he needed something to do. Sirus looked down at the Homonculous Charm book on his nightstand. He could head out now to return the book; slip in and out without any fuss. Underneath the book was the green envelope, and even though he had intentionally placed it there, the sight of it turned his stomach.

He'd be telling the Potters all about that later this day. At least, he'd convinced James that was his plan even though he was still unsure. In fact, his idea from days ago about running away into the Forbidden Forest and living as Padfoot was looking once again promising. He'd leave the envelope with James, so he could still turn it in.

A wave of shame washed over him. He knew his thoughts were cowardly. He was once again leaning on James. He was counting on James to push him to do the right thing. And if that still wasn't enough, he was counting on James to do the right thing by himself. James had already saved him from himself earlier in the year when he'd rescued Snape.

James was like Professor Keenan, who had lived and died like a true Gryffindor.

And wasn't that what Sirius had always striven for? He'd always exulted bravery. He wanted to be brave. His parents had always painted his choices as cowardly, but Sirius had known that was not true. To face against the Noble and Ancient House of Black was the face against the most monstrous of beasts. He'd done that, lived to tell the tale...and now he wondered if it had all been false bluster.

He owed Professor Keenan. He repeated that statement over and over. He would keep repeating that to himself until the time came to sit down with Potters. Until he did what was right, good, virtuous.

Sirius opened the nightstand drawer taking out the two-way mirror. He slipped the mirror and the envelope into his robes. The mirror so James could contact him if he awoke before Sirius returned, and the envelope because he had started carting that around with him as a reminder.

Sirius decided not to 'borrow' the Cloak. While curfew was technically still in place, he knew the risk of getting caught was minimal. After years of sneaking out and back in, they knew Professors were not on the lookout for early risers.

His steps echoed in the silent hallways, the early morning sunlight, brightening his path. He was completely alone; not a portrait stirred or a ghost flew by. He kept his pace steady, and reached his destination far too quickly. As he turned the last corner, he was brought to a stop. He stared at the bits of paper covering the wall to the left of Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom.

He frowned, stepping closer to read the words.

Thank you for everything!

Thank you for listening.

You will be missed!

Rest in Peace.

Sirius stared at the words, disconcerted. He'd seen the grieving students at the Memorial Service, but he hadn't given it any further thought. He'd been far too consumed with his own guilt, and getting through it with James. He couldn't afford to be concerned about anyone else.

He now felt even more like a fraud. These students were probably Keenan's favorites. These students hadn't caused Professor Keanan trouble. These students could honor Keenan and the person that he had been, far better than he ever could.

There was a loud crashing noise from inside the Defense classroom causing the hair on his arms to stand up straight. The classroom door was open a sliver, and Sirius peered inside cautiously. He could see a person moving around, and then the figured turned.

"Hello? Is someone there?"

Sirius backed up immediately, but it was too late. The person had seen him, and was walking towards him. As Sirius grabbed for his wand, the door opened revealing the last person he'd thought to encounter. Auror Anderson stood in the doorway, one hand on the door knob staring at the wand leveled at his heart.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you."

Sirius lowered his wand, his heart still beating rapidly, realizing how close he'd been to hexing an Auror. He doubted it would have gone over well in the Ministry to hear he'd attacked an Auror even in self-defense.

"Sirius Black, it's good to see you," Anderson began. He was dressed in nondescript dark green robes. "How...how are you?" Sirius simply stared back. Anderson couldn't actually be happy to see him. At the scene in the shop, Anderson had not known the details of the situation. He had not known Sirius's involvement in his friend's death. Now that he did, he would think much less of him. Anderson smiled wryly. "Stupid question. I bet you are sick of people asking you that."

"Yea...a bit," Sirius replied cautiously.

Anderson glanced between Sirius and the wall of notes. "Were you...?" He gestured to the wall.

"No," he answered quickly. Too quickly. Would it not seem strange, even cold, for him not to want to write a note? But what would he even say? How could he express the jumble of emotions inside of him in a few words? "I was...returning a book. Professor Keenan gave it to me. It was on loan from one of his friends. I don't know who...so I thought I'd leave it with his other things..."

"Can I see it?"

Sirius handed the book over. "It's not yours, is it?"

"No," Anderson replied, as he flipped through the pages. "I can ask around, if you want? See if I can find out the owner."

"Yes. Thank you." Sirius stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling especially out of place. "What are you doing here?"

"Picking up Alex's personal belongings. Dumbledore had the house elves pack it up for me. I thought I'd pop in before my shift." He stepped back so Sirius had a clearer view of the room. There were several boxes stacked on the desks. Otherwise, the room was barren, looking like any other empty classroom. It was as if Keenan had never occupied the room, all evidence of his presence had been scrubbed clean. "His parents are Muggles. I volunteered after it was decided it would not be prudent for them to travel to Hogwarts."

"Did you tell them what happened – the Muggles?"

"A version close to the truth. As parents of wizards, they do have more clearance than other Muggles, but there are still things we must protect. In fact, there was discussion to erase their memories completely."

"What? Why?"

"It was thought that it was no longer necessary for them to have knowledge of the Magical World. That was vetoed after I and several others argued against it."

It was awful enough thinking Keenan's parents might not know the full truth, but that they wouldn't even know they had a wizard son was even worse.

"He's being awarded the Order of Merlin. I found out last night. We'll explain to them what an honor that is, of course." Anderson moved into the room looking around with a frown. He turned to Sirius who hovered in the doorway unable to push himself further inside. "I could use some fresh air. How about it?"

Sirius could have easily excused himself. There was no reason for him to spend more time with the Auror. He'd completed the task of returning the book, and even if it was rude to decline the invite, that sort of thing rarely stopped him There was some level of trust with Anderson being Keenan's friend, but he was also a Ministry Employee, and Sirius knew better than to trust the Ministry. He was an unregistered Animagus, member of the Black family, and he held evidence pertaining to a murder in his pocket...spending any amount in the presence of Aurors was a really bad idea.

So, of course, he nodded in agreement. The uneasiness that settled in his gut, as he ran his fingers along the envelope in his pocket, served as a warning to tread carefully. He wouldn't talk long. He was curious why Anderson wanted to spend further time with him. And he might be able to find out information about the investigation.

They sat side by side on a bench in the courtyard. The early morning sunlight bringing warmth and comfort of a new day. Sirius breathed in deeply, the sweet smell from a nearby flowering bush invading his senses. He was finding the outdoors more and more comforting as of late.

Sirius was the first to speak, bringing the topic of conversation directly to what he wanted to know most about. "Do you have any leads?" He still half hoped that the murderer would be uncovered without him turning in the evidence.

Anderson closed his eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I can't discuss an on-going investigation."

"Right...just like no one was supposed to know James and I were there, and yet it was around Hogwarts before we were even discharged from the Hospital Wing?"

Anderson regarded him carefully. "There was a leak."

Sirius scoffed. "I figured that out myself."

"We did investigate it." Anderson sighed. "The leaker claims it was a misunderstanding."

"You know who it was?"

"Yes. He...or she claimed not to be aware of the secrecy involving you and James, and assumed that Alex's heroic actions – saving two students – would be celebrated, not hidden."

"That's bollocks!"

"It is what it is."

"Is that the Ministry's official stance? Have you read what they are saying about Professor Keenan in the papers? About what they are saying about Hogwarts? About what they are saying about me?"

"There will always be those that take advantage of a tragedy. You know what I also see? That Alex made a real difference in the lives of his students. No splashy headline can take that away."

Sirius crossed his arms. "A splashy headline can do plenty of damage."

"You didn't know Alex like I did, he would-"

"Don't!" Sirius stood up abruptly, stepping away from the bench. "I don't need someone else to tell me-"

That he was worth being saved.

He'd heard it enough, and hearing it again would not make him believe it more.

The Auror stayed quiet. With his back still turned, Sirius asked, his voice back under control, "So, you can't tell me anything about the investigation?"

"I can tell you we have interviewed all witnesses...as well as your father and James Potter's. There is still some hope that one of the Death Eaters will inadvertently brag to the wrong person about their involvement, especially once they believe to have gotten away with it."

Sirius turned slowly back to face Anderson. "My father spoke to you? Willingly?"

"Your father gave a statement. I can't say anything more." Anderson looked out onto the grounds. "This will be in the paper soon enough...the shop keeper was found dead."

"Murdered?"

"Presumably."

Sirius had a hard time caring. Had the man not literally thrown him at a Death Eater? Even if it had been to save his daughter, it was a cowardly move. Thought the Shop Keeper had also had been the reason help had been dispatched. If the Aurors hadn't turned up...Sirius didn't want to think about all the terrible, possible outcomes of that situation.

"And we have set up a way to receive anonymous tips, though I am not hopeful that will yield any additional information."

"You accept anonymous tips?"

"Yes, though It's not our preferred method if someone wishes to remain anonymous."

"There's another way?"

Anderson looked at him curiously as if only just realizing how odd the line of questioning was. "Yes. We prefer at least one person in the Auror Division knows the identity of the person with information. It's a way to protect the person, and let us vet their credibility."

"So...someone could tell you information and you would pass it along without telling anyone else who gave it to you?"

"Yes."

Sirius stayed quiet. He had thought briefly of anonymously sending the information to a reporter, but he'd never thought of this more direct approach. Suddenly and quite unexpectedly before him was another option. An option that allowed him more control than any other.

He thought about the last few days, and all that he'd been through. He thought of his conversations with Dumbledore, McGonagall, Regulus, and his friends. The grief, the guilt, the worry. The disappointment, the hope, the possibility of a better future.

He was also tired of the fight against his family. If there had been any hope that their games would end with those letters from Iola Black, that had been erased.

He wanted to do what was right. He was brave. He was a Gryffindor.

He owed Keenan. He owed Keenan. He owed Keenan.

And he also owed himself.

The thought took him by surprise. The voice in his head sounding awfully like McGonagall. A thought he hadn't dared think while consumed with guilt. He did owe it to himself. That Killing Curse had been meant for him, and he deserved justice as much as Professor Keenan.

He might not win the war against the Noble and Most Ancient House of Blacks. But he could still win battles. He could still win this battle.

Anderson was waiting patiently, perhaps sensing the internal argument going on in his head. Waiting for Sirius to speak first.

"I have information." His tone was the opposite of how he felt, cool and in control.

"Information?"

"I want to remain anonymous."

"You have information about what exactly?"

"I know who did it. I know who killed Professor Keenan."

Anderson hid his shock quickly, his face changing to a grim seriousness as he regarded him. "Sirius, before you go on, please consider one thing; you are on an official record stating that you did not recognize any of the men in the shop. You were asked repeatedly if you knew the identity of any of the men, and you repeatedly stated you did not."

"I wasn't lying at the time. I didn't know then."

"Then how do you know now?"

"I was given this." Sirius reached inside his robes for the envelope. "His name is Edwin Arthur Moore. Inside this envelope is the evidence you need. There's a picture of him, and an address."

"May I see it?"

Sirius took a seat as he passed over the envelope. He anxiously watched Anderson looked through the contents. When Anderson began examining the map of the house, Sirius pointed at the 'x', and stated, "Tha - there – looks like a hidden compartment. Professor Keenan's wand was never found, right? Maybe it's hidden in there?"

Anderson threw him a sideways look. "How do you know his wand was never found?"

"Because I was asked where it was during the questioning."

Anderson frowned. He appeared to be doing some quick thinking. "Who gave this to you?"

"I can't tell you. I want them to also remain anonymous."

Anderson sighed deeply. Sirius had no idea what the Auror was thinking or what this looked like to him. Anderson barely knew him, and there was no reason for the man to trust him, a Black. He could take him into custody right now if he wanted to. "That's not how this works."

"But you said-"

"If I am going to vouch for you, I need you to be truthful to me. I need to know everything. Only then can I keep your identity and the identity of the person who gave this to you between us. For this to work, we need to trust each other. Understand?"

"But-"

"Sirius, if you refuse to cooperate, I will have no choice. I will take you into custody. So, are we going to trust each other?"

Sirius nodded.

"I need a verbal agreement."

"Yes."

"Good. Then I'll ask again. Who gave this to you?"

"My brother, Regulus. Regulus Black." Sirius sensed his every word and gesture was under deep scrutiny. The friendliness between them was gone; this was all business. "But I don't think – I don't know if he knew what was in the letter. He's only fourteen."

Sirius remembered uncomfortably his friends claiming that his reluctance to turn in the information had to do with protecting his parents and brother. Was that what he was doing right now? Protecting his brother? Regulus was naive...and he would follow an order from their parents without thought.

"Regulus said he was delivering this letter for someone?"

"Not exactly...but someone had to have given it to him. How would he discover information like this on his own?"

"Who do you think gave it to him?"

"My parents. Or someone else in my family. Probably my parents."

"Why do you think they would know this information?"

"They have connections...and the Death Eater claimed to have known my father."

Anderson nodded. "Was this information given to you freely?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked. He already knew he couldn't tell the Auror about the Offer coming this summer from Voldemort. Nothing good would come out of sharing that.

"Did you seek it out? Pay for it? Use extortion?"

"No. No, of course not. Regulus came to me."

"Ok. He approached you and said?"

"He - um – wanted to see how I was after – everything. As if he cared...as if they cared."

"They, refers to who?"

Sirius sighed. "My parents. He handed me the envelope, and..."

"What did he say?" Anderson prompted.

"I don't remember the exact words..."

"A summary is acceptable."

Anderson waited patiently as he fumbled to find the right words. "I thought, at first, it was an invitation to a family party. Regulus said it wasn't...and that I'd find the contents inside useful."

"Useful?

"Helpful? Or something like that. He...ummm...said there were no strings attached."

"What did you believe he meant by that?"

"That I could use the information...without cost...without making any promises."

"What sort of promises?"

"To return to the family. Be a proper Black. A proper pure-blood. That's what they want. With the Potters taking me in, I'm not living in the desolate conditions they'd hoped. So now the only other acceptable outcome is for me to come crawling back to them in shame." He stopped. He was rambling, and giving this man more information about his family than was needed.

"And then?"

"He left."

"You did not open the envelope in front of him?"

"No. I waited until he left."

"How many days ago was this?"

"Three. About three days."

He waited for Anderson to admonish him for waiting, for not turning it in immediately. He waited for him to ask what he planned to do with the evidence if they had not bumped into each other. However, neither question came. Perhaps the Auror knew it was better not to ask.

"Did you tell anyone else about the envelope?"

"James."

"James Potter?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"The day before yesterday."

"Anyone else?"

"My friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. They found out at the same time James did."

Anderson took out a notebook and scribbled down three names. "Do you trust they will keep this information to themselves?"

"Yes. They won't tell anyone."

"I can speak to them if not. Until we look into this, it is imperative that no one else can be told."

"I trust them. We – James and I – were going to tell his parents..."

"I prefer if you waited. I'd like to speak to James's father myself again. If he recognized the name and picture of the man, it would help the case. That is if it gets that far."

"Ok." Sirius frowned. "Why wouldn't it get that far?"

"We have to consider the possibility of this being a trap. Anderson scratched his chin. "And not just for us – you too."

"Me?"

"Imagine if you had turned this in directly. You would have been lauded publicly for providing us with this information. Then say, if a team of Aurors was ambushed while investigating– some injured, some captured, some killed...and-"

"It would look like I had a part in it."

"Exactly."

A shiver ran up his spine. He didn't believe that it was likely. It would be the exact opposite of a 'show of faith'. Unless that was the point? A false promise for his treachery?

"I'm sure it's him," Sirius argued, refusing to believe it was a trap. "I recognized his eyes immediately, so did James! I brought up the color during the questioning-"

Anderson had been jotting down a few notes glanced up at him. "Yes. You did, but we have to consider the possibility of a doctored photograph." He must have seen how distraught Sirius looked because he added. "We'll be careful, and take all necessary precautions. That's not something for you to worry about."

"Right."

"Is there anything else? Anything you want to add?"

"No."

"As promised, I will keep your identity private." Anderson retrieved two cards out of his pocket. "This is a way to contact me directly – tap the blue circle with your wand. Give the other one to James. Explain to him he is not to speak to anyone else about this. Not without first speaking to me. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"I promise you I will do everything in my power to bring this murderer to justice."

Sirius nodded, staring straight ahead, his focus on the white clouds scattered in the blue sky. He didn't know what else to say.

"I better head back in. I need to finish packing before my shift." Anderson stood up. "Are you ok out here? Should I-"

"I'm fine. I'll head back to the dormitory soon."

Anderson shook his hand, and then headed back quickly into the castle. Sirius stayed seated. He let out a large breath. He'd expected a big weight to have been lifted off his shoulders, but at the moment he just felt odd.

It was over. Did he feel better? Less cumbered? He wasn't sure. Then the mirror in his pocket moved. He took it out to see the panicked look of his best friend.

"Padfoot?! Where are you?"

"Outside. Went for a walk."

"A walk?"

"Yes...it's when you move your two feet...and..." The realization dawned on Sirius. "Did you think my parents had kidnapped me?"

James didn't need to answer. The look on his face said it all. Of course, James would think that was a possibility. James, for all his optimism, knew the lengths the Blacks were willing to go to get their way.

"I'm fine," Sirius said quickly, not waiting for an answer. "I went for a walk, dropped off the book in Keenan's office. I'm heading back up now."

"Ok." He could see James peering at him through the mirror, as if sensing there was something else. "Are you ok?"

"See you soon, mate."

"Actually..." James turned and Sirius could hear Peter's voice in the background. "Peter says he's hungry. Want to meet in the Great Hall instead?"

"Sure. See you there."

He realized that he'd finished one difficult conversation only to now deal with an equally difficult one. He'd have to tell James what had transpired before they left Hogwarts, but it wasn't a conversation to have over the mirror. James would be hurt and disappointed. He knew there was no changing that. In Sirius's head, this had always been between himself and his family...himself and the Death Eater. He knew James thought differently. James saw himself as part of the greater fight.

He'd also rather explain without Remus and Peter listening in. Three opinions would be harder to deal with than one. In all truthfulness, he'd been rather thrown off by Peter lately and his candid comments. He'd always looked down at Peter for not speaking his mind...yet it had also been nice to have a friend that didn't challenge him. He wasn't thrilled by the change, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

His stomach growled in anticipation of being fed soon. He headed in the direction of the Great Hall. There was a slight pep in his step that had not been there before.

Remus followed the others out into the court yard. He was full from a hearty breakfast and was feeling especially fond of all his friends. After eating, the Gryffindors had packed the last of their belongings, and were now spending the last half an hour before the carriages arrived outside. Soon they'd be sixth years, and in a few weeks, they'd have the results of their OWLs. He would be the first werewolf with OWLs. It was something to be proud of even if his future was still so uncertain.

"Going to miss us, Moony?" James asked, throwing his arm around Remus's shoulders.

"What's there to miss?" Remus answered, pushing him away playfully.

"You wound me, dear sir!"

Remus grinned. He would miss them terribly. He'd worry about them. Being friends with James and Sirius was thrilling, exciting, intense...and also exhausting. There was also a part of him that was glad for the time apart. He was certain it would do them all good. So much had happened the past year, and they'd barely survived it in one piece. The Whomping Willow Incident, their friendship broken, their friendship repaired, and then almost losing Sirius in the most final of ways. If Professor Keenan hadn't acted, Sirius would be dead. The idea was so horrible to contemplate that Remus's mind refused to think past it.

He'd never been more concerned for his friends' mental health, but they had now edged away from that cliff. James and Sirius were doing loads better (some lightness back in their eyes and in their mannerisms). Remus found himself thinking again about friendship, loyalty, and the appalling behavior after OWLs. He always thought too much and acted very little. The opposite of Sirius, who only worried about the consequences after the act (and sometimes not thoroughly enough even then).

He knew, as a prefect, he should revisit what had happened after OWLs with Snape. He had wanted to earlier, but then this had all happened. It wasn't that James and Sirius didn't realize what they did was wrong. They knew...and they knew it would embarrass Snape. And they did it anyway. Because they could. Without any real consequences.

Because he let them. The other students let them.

Remus knew they were also capable of good and selfless acts. That did not erase any of their wrongdoing, but it made it a lot harder for Remus to tell them off.

"Moony, you agree with me, right?"

Remus was thrown out of his thoughts to see James looking at him expectantly. He hadn't been listening. "Yes?" He saw Sirius shaking his head. "I mean, no?"

"No?" James said with false indignation.

"What was the question again?"

James, Sirius, and Peter all burst out laughing. Proper laughter that Remus hadn't heard for some time.

"Ignore Prongs, he's just being a prat," Sirius said fondly.

"Was it about Quidditch?" Remus questioned, and they all burst out laughing again.

The last half hour went by quickly. Many students stopped by to wish them a good summer. They waited until the last moment to say their goodbyes. The last stragglers had headed towards the carriages as Remus said, "I think it's time for us to go."

He hugged Sirius first. "Be good. Be safe. And if you need a break from Antler-boy, my door is always open."

Sirius smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Spending the summer at the Potters was what they had all wanted for Sirius, but Remus knew, despite Sirius's protestations, that his family's rejection had left a scar that would never fully heal.

"Take care as well, mate." Sirius then, lowered his voice. "Particularly during a certain phase of the moon."

"I will...and don't worry, it will give my parents a chance to fuss over me."

"And if you need us, we will find a way."

Remus nodded; any further words stuck in his throat. That, there...was why he couldn't ask for better friends. They would always be there if he needed. He'd been lying to himself earlier; he would not speak to them about the attack on Snape. Not now and not later. He would let the incident go without further comment.

"I second that," James said as Remus moved to hug him next.

Remus repeated the same words. "Be good. Be safe. My door is open to you too...if your parents decide they like Padfoot more than you..."

James laughed, clapping him on the back. "Too late, Moony. They already do."

"As they should," Sirius replied.

It was Peter's turn to say goodby. He hugged James and Sirius quickly, exchanging the usual goodbyes. Peter was careful to not bring up any potential summer plans. They all agreed that they would see each other soon.

The carriages took them to the train station, and they sat in their usual compartment. Without James and Sirius...it felt so big and quiet. As the train picked up speed, Peter stared glumly out the window, chewing absentmindedly on a bag candy.

"Anything the matter Wormtail?" Remus asked.

"It's just-" Peter stared down at his shoes.

"Just what?"

"I know I don't have Voldemort-sized problems or even Werewolf-sized ones, but my life isn't all rainbows and sunshine either! I have problems too."

Remus stared at his friend – he didn't know if he was more shocked that Peter had used Voldemort's name or that he held such grievances. Eventually Remus found his voice. "Well...is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No, not at this moment. It would be nice to for my problems to be acknowledged once in a while."

"I am here to talk anytime...if you need."

Peter nodded and then turned back to staring out the window. Remus wanted to say more, but he was distracted by a knock. He stood up to find Lily Evans standing awkwardly outside their compartment.

"Oh...Lily. Hi? Is it time for the Prefect meeting already?"

"Not yet. I was wondering...it's just you and Pettigrew in here, right?"

"Yes," Remus answered as Lily glanced into the compartment as if to make sure that James and Sirius were really absent. It was no secret that James and Sirius were going to the Potters via the Floo Network. Peter was looking at Lily with a sudden interest.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Err..." Remus glanced back at Peter. "Just you...?"

"Just me," Lily affirmed, her cheeks turning pink. "I'm looking for somewhere quiet to read, and more importantly, not to have to listen to all the perfectly wonderful plans everyone seems to have for the summer."

"Not looking forward to summer then?"

Lily frowned. "Not really."

She didn't elaborate further. Remus had some guesses. He knew that Lily lived near Snape, and that they likely spent most summers in the others company. Now that the sole Gryffindor-Slytherin friendship looked to be officially over, she would have a lonelier break.

"Me either," Peter piped up.

"No? I figured Potter would have planned endless adventures for you lot..."

"Not this year," Remus said quietly.

"Oh. Right."

"Or at least not with us," Peter muttered under his breath.

Remus shot him a look, but Lily either didn't hear or was pretending not to have.

"It's been a year...hasn't it?"

"It has...well, you are welcome to join us." He stepped back to let Lily in. "Come on in. Take a seat-"

"Thank you." Lily paused, looking back down the corridor. "Actually, I'll join you after the Prefect meeting. I need to grab my bag first...and say my goodbyes." She looked like she wasn't looking forward to explaining her decision to sit elsewhere. "See you up front?"

"I'll be there in a few," Remus agreed.

He slid the door closed; a bit befuddled. He was a lot closer with Lily this year than any other. Their prefect duties had forced company on each other, and he had spent more time with her and the other Gryffindors while he was still angry with Sirius. It was impossible to get truly close with her being friends with Snape...and his friendship with James and Sirius. Their loyalties had never been discussed, but it was always the large elephant in the room. Now though she had cut ties with Snape, there was an opening that hadn't been there before.

"James isn't going to believe this," Peter said.

"Lily seeking out our company?"

"Yes...and without him!"

"Would he rather we turn Evans away?"

"Well no..." Peter looked pensive. "Do you think he has a chance with her?"

"If you'd asked me before OWLs, I would have said yes. Now...I don't know." He straightened out his robes looking at his friend carefully. Did they overlook Peter sometimes? With Sirius's problems with his family and his monthly ones, there was little time for the mundane ones. "Are you really alright? Because I can skive the meeting..."

Peter shook his head. "I'm fine. Remember, I'm supposed to be the good influence on you. And I'll have you know that I take my position very seriously."

"Are you sure?"

"Go on. I'll see you after the meeting." Peter then all but pushed Remus out of the compartment

As Remus headed towards the front of the train, his head was full of thoughts. This would certainly be the summer for reflection.

Sirius and James looked at each other expectantly. Now that they were completely alone neither appeared to know what to do. They were saved from making any disastrous plans by the appearance of McGonagall. She was striding towards them on the same path Remus and Peter had taken. She had obviously been one of the Professors overseeing the students being herded into the carriages.

"Time to head back inside, boys. The Floo should be set-up within the hour. You may wait in the Transfiguration Classroom until I fetch you."

"Yes, Professor," James said, nudging Sirius to follow. Looking around, Sirius knew he'd miss this over the summer; the sprawling lawns, the Giant Squid, and the majesty and magic of the castle.

As they pushed through the entrance doors, James stated wistfully, "The whole castle to ourselves and we aren't allowed to properly enjoy it..."

"Wonder why?" Sirius replied innocently. "With our stellar, responsible reputation?"

"It is indeed a mystery," James agreed. "But what possible trouble could we get into in an empty castle?"

"That's probably the point...they don't want to give us the chance to find out."

"Right..."

"Guess who I ran into this morning?" It was time to tell James about his decision from earlier.

"Snape?"

"No."

"Regulus?"

"No."

"I give up. Who?"

"Anderson."

"The Auror...Professor Keenan's friend?"

"Yes."

"What was he doing here?"

"Picking up Keenan's personal belongings. His parents are Muggles so..."

"Ah...right." There was a long silence between them as they continued down the quiet corridors. "Did he say anything interesting?"

"About what?"

"The investigation."

"No. Not really. He said he couldn't talk about it...active investigation and all..."

"An active investigation involving us?"

Sirius shrugged. "I did find out a few things. Shopkeeper was found dead, probably murdered, and Keenan's getting the Order of Merlin."

"Oh..." James trailed off; his brow furrowed.

"I - umm – I also decided to give it to him."

James stopped midstride to stare. He was looking at Sirius with the greatest perplexation. "Give what to him?"

James had to have known or at least guessed, but Sirius knew he was going to have to say it out loud. "The evidence. What else?"

"You gave it to him?"

"He is an Auror," Sirius replied defensively.

"He is, but-"

"I know I said we'd tell your parents-"

"Which I'll remind you, was your idea. Not mine."

"Only because you lot pressured me. I wanted to take care of this on my own!"

James looked on the verge of saying something, but nothing came out. He simply continued walking. Having to quicken his own pace to match James's stride, Sirius asked, "What?"

"I just...I can't figure out where your head is in all this."

"If you do figure it out, let me know...because I don't know either."

James didn't smile at his attempt at humor. It was hardly something to be amused about. His mind and thoughts were a mess, and it sometimes worried him too.

"Ok." James sighed again running his hands through his hair. "Ok," he repeated.

"Ok?" He had expected more pushback than this.

"What else is there to say? Short of kidnapping Anderson and erasing his memories, you've made sure I have no say in the matter."

"This my fight."

"One you don't have to face alone!"

"He'll still get arrested. A Death Eater behind bars, and isn't that what matters most?" He knew he was throwing James own words back at him from the other day.

James threw him a look of the greatest aggravation, but he didn't respond directly to the statement. "So, you told him everything?"

"Well..." Sirius looked sideways at James. "Not everything."

"You left something out?"

"Nothing directly tied to the case... but I didn't tell him about the Offer. I didn't see the point. How could the Aurors help with that? They'd either have to post guards around me or-"

"Order you to join as a spy."

"I can't go back to them – not even as pretend." As he glanced at James again, his friend met his gaze directly. James didn't understand everything about his complicated relationship with his family, but this he understood. He could not go back. It was too dangerous, too risky, too soon, too raw.

"You're a terrible actor anyway. It would never work."

"It wouldn't." He gladly grabbed onto that excuse rather than the real one.

"What's going to happen now? They'll go arrest him?"

"Anderson said they'd look into the information. They need to make sure it's not a trap, and all." They had now reached the Transfiguration classroom. They entered, choosing two desks close to the window to sit on top of. "And there's another thing...Anderson and I came to an agreement. I'll be able to remain anonymous."

"Is that something you wanted?"

"Yea...I think it is. Spare the masses another headline about the Black family."

"It would have been a positive story...for once."

"Mmm..."

"Or negative, depending on the side you are rooting for."

James was too perceptive not to pick up on the obvious. In protecting himself, he was also protecting his brother, and even his parents. So, Sirius found himself insisting the opposite. "I know what you are thinking, but I'm not protecting them."

"It's ok if you are."

"It's more than that though! I wanted to have some control. I might be forced to play my parents' games, but I can still change the rules. Does that make sense?"

James looked like he wanted to say something more, but then he simply nodded. "Yes."

Sirius fumbled for one of cards in his pocket. "Here's Anderson's card. He wants us to only talk to him about the investigation. At least until the man's arrested or we're given the go ahead. That includes your parents."

James accepted the card. "I figured as much."

There was so much more Sirius wanted to say, but he felt too emotionally drained. He wanted to explain how much it meant, simply knowing his friends were there for him. That even though he had chosen to face this alone, knowing he didn't have to, was what had given him the strength. They'd have the whole summer to really talk.

Still there was one thing he could do – say - to show his appreciation. "I still want to tell them. Your parents. About the Offer."

"Yea?" James looked surprised, pleased.

"Yea." He still wasn't sure how they could help, but James's parents deserved to know. They'd taken him after he'd runaway...while James and he were still fighting. He needed advice, and he'd learned one thing over that year, adults did sometimes know what they were talking about.

McGonagall cleared her throat as she entered the room, allowing them to seamlessly move away from the heavy topic. "Checking in. Glad to see you haven't set the room on fire."

"We're growing up, Professor," James said.

"Perhaps. Feet on the ground, you two." They slid off the desk, sitting down on the chairs. "Now, the Floo should be ready shortly. I'll be back when it is."

There seemed to be nothing left to say as they waited to be called upon. They gazed quietly at the grounds both lost in thought. McGonagall returned, and shuttled them into her office. A box of Floo Power lay open on her desk.

"I'll be in touch once your OWL results are in. We'll sit down and set up an academic schedule that will keep you engaged in worthwhile pursuits. Understood?"

James and Sirius both nodded solemnly.

"Have a good summer. Rest up. Enjoy yourselves." McGonagall gestured toward the fireplace. "Mr. Potter, you may go first."

"Thank you, Professor," James said, throwing her a grin. "Have a good summer!" He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and threw it into the flames. Within moments James had disappeared into the dancing green flames.

"Mr. Black, your turn."

Sirius didn't immediately move. He had been counting down the days for this moment, but now that it was here, he wished for more time. The last week had been terrible, but nothing had been expected of him. He could wallow in peace. He could be difficult with little pushback. Now that summer was about to begin, he had to think seriously about his conversation with McGonagall. He had to decide if he was going to follow her advice.

"Mr. Black?" McGonagall beckoned him forward.

There was no reason to stand there any longer, so Sirius grabbed a fistful of powder. He glanced once more at McGonagall. "Don't worry Professor, this is the part of the story where I turn my life around...and then we'll all live happily ever after."

He was being sarcastic obviously. Still within the sarcasm there was a hope, a possibility, that he would indeed do just that.

McGonagall shook her head, with amused exasperation. "Have a good summer, Mr. Black"

Sirius tossed the powder into the fireplace. He called out the Potter's address as he stepped into the rising green flames.

The End.

Author's note: This story is finally complete after many years! It has been a journey, but I am really proud of it as a whole.

I hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much to those who have been with me since the beginning, and also to those who recently discovered the story. I'd love to hear what your thoughts! Please leave a comment and review!

I have some good news. I now plan on writing a short sequel covering the summer months. I won't start posting that until I have a good portion of that written, so don't expect anything for several months. I also have a few ideas for one-shots; Remus post Hogwarts, Peter post Hogwarts, and maybe one on Regulus Black. If you are interested in continuing to read my stories, the best way to keep up is by adding me to your author alerts.