Grateful

(Wednesday Morning, October 2nd)

"Audrey." Ben sits up in the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking in." She sits next to him. "How are you doing?" He lifts the red gelatin, and she frowns. "Not very many calories in that."

"I'm going to lose my damn mind." Ben grins. "Again. But, you know, feeding tubes and the hole in my stomach. All those worms, but they had to think 'long term'." Ben finger quotes the words. He wets his lips and frowns at her. "They weren't expecting me to wake up. They thought they would have me on life support for a year and then…" His eyes lower. "And I wake up, and Mal's not even here."

"Chad was," Audrey reminds him.

"Audres," he exasperates. "That would never work."

"Look." Audrey assures, "I'm not a big fan of this whole sinning thing, but he cares about you. And I know you care about him."

"But I love Mal." Ben's eyebrows furrow, and she quiets. "I know that she's not the person people wanted me to be with, but I feel normal around her. Chad. I could eat a steak around him, and he looks at me like I'm a zoo animal."

She whispers, "Blood makes him squeamish."

"Well, I can't choose not to have it." Ben reminds her, "Every time I tell myself I can live without it, I end up hurting someone. And that's going to be Chad if he can't accept that."

"You're right." She agrees, "Chad has a lot to work on, and his view of you is very idealistic." She falters. "I don't know another word for that."

"It's okay." Ben nods. "I get what you mean."

"But Mal's been on the Isle for a month," she continues. "Whatever you taught her here about kindness and love, she can't use it there. Either she's dead or the girl you knew is."

"I don't care what she did. Or what she's doing," he rejects. "People do bad things in bad situations. But she deserves to be happy."

"I think she was," Audrey opinionates. "When she first got here. Before she was told to change. After she left that abuse."

Ben frowns. "You think she'll be happier without me."

"I have a hard time wrapping my mind around what Mal is," Audrey admits, "but, yes. She deserves to be free. Like your cousin. If you go there and she says no, you need to respect that. You tried chaining her to the ground before… It didn't end well."

"She's more than a dragon," Ben defends.

"And you're more than a—" Ben looks away, and she pauses. "What you are… But you still have needs. So does she, and I don't think you can give that to her."

"Because I won't have sex with her," he assumes.

She cringes. "TMI. But I guess her heat issue is a real issue that needs real help."

"And I'm supposed to let some random person give it to her?"

"Why won't you have sex with her?"

Ben purses his lips. "You're right. It is too much information."

"No. Seriously." She says, "Most guys would jump at a girl who's just willing, and you don't even have a God who would say—"

"Audrey." She turns her head up at him, and he bites the inside of his lips before smiling. "Thank you for coming."

"Wait." The boy repeats, "The fifth? I thought the lock-in was at the end of the month."

"A little oversight we all had." Audrey strains a smile. "The weekend prior was too soon to do, and it can't be on a school night."

He watches her scrape the brownie batter into the pan. "These are the regular brownies, right?"

"Yes." She places the tin into the oven. "The blood ones will have food dye in it. Having a heavy red color will make it more appetizing to carnivores."

"I was going to say," he inputs, "not to mix those two up."

She widens her eyes. "Not a chance." She leans on the countertop and turns towards him. "Just don't eat any, please. I'm going to need to bake five times as many regular brownies, since there are more humans at the school."

He squints. "Is there?" She frowns, and he elaborates, "I mean, obviously there's less carnivores, but… there are other things, right? And this school does have a reputation for being welcoming to all kinds of people."

Audrey murmurs through a fake smile, "I wouldn't call a dragon a person, but you are right about how progressive this school is." She flips her hair over her shoulder. "It could be more conservative with the kinds of people they let in, if you ask me." She places the bowls into the dishwasher, closes it, and then reopens it to the shiny dishware. "Anyway." She grabs the mixing bowl. "Since most of the student body aren't demons, I plan to serve more for them." His green eyes stare at the floor, and her expression slips. "Right. I've been meaning to ask… you're like a fairy or something, right?"

He looks up at her. "What?"

"Well, you know." She grabs the sugar. "Just how you never show up on camera. You have some kind of cloaking spell, right? Well, not spell. You're reflecting light. All magic stems from reality." He doesn't answer, and she notices his deep stare.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She sets the sugar down. "So, you didn't know about the camera?"

"No." His eyes shift. "I heard your friend say I didn't show up on them. I just… I have no idea why I didn't."

"I mean, obviously you have magic of some sort." She grabs the measuring cups. "Unless someone photoshopped you out of the video, but who would do that?"

"Audrey," he monotones.

"Don't worry about it." She dumps the scoops of flour into the bowl. "Believe it or not, I have some verrrry distant relatives who weren't entirely human. Plus, my mother was raised by fairies, so it's not like I'm going to judge. Harshly, that is." She grabs the cocoa powder and releases a breath once she sees his grim expression. "Okay. What did I say?"

"Nothing." He eyes the floor. "I just… feel sad, I guess."

"What did I say?" she asks again.

"I don't know if it was you." He meets her eyes. "I just have this feeling… I feel like no one's ever really accepted me before."

"Well, I'm going to change that." She grins. "You should totally come to the lock-in. It's going to be loads of fun."

"Fun?" he inquires.

"Yeah." She explains, "We'll have board games, loud music to dance to, and even a few side shows, you know, if you're into that kind of thing." She raises her eyebrows. "Actually, the psychic might be right down your alley."

"Psychic?"

"Probably some witch," Audrey's voice turns to disdain, before she takes a deep breath. "But Fairy Godmother claims they're not demons. They're the bridge between life and death." She rolls her eyes. "Whatever that means. So, maybe—just maybe—I'll look into it." She half laughs. "I mean, Evie wasn't exactly what I thought a witch would look like, aside from her compelling beauty, deadly potions, and manipulative charm. I mean, she wasn't that mean."

"Do you think she could help me figure out what I need to ask you?" he contemplates.

She turns towards him and slightly nods. "Maybe."

"Chad." The coach orders, "Get a move on."

William walks over to him. "Come on. You can spot me."

Chad stands; however, when William reaches for the dinosaur, Chad holds him tighter. "Don't touch him!"

Several eyes face them, and William faces Jenkins. "You know, it's a nice, cloudy day out. Maybe we can walk the track?"

"Go on," he allows, and William places a hand on Chad's back.

He wiggles free but follows all the same. They turn out of the weights' room and exit at the end of the hallway. "This isn't healthy."

"What isn't?" Chad murmurs, as they reach the pavement.

"Whatever he's doing," William notes, "you act like you're powerless."

"I am powerless."

"You could say something," he suggests, and Chad halts.

"Say something?" William turns towards him, and Chad huffs. "Like how I told you guys Hawthorne visited me in the hospital, and you all said how lucky I was. I could barely get a word in with everyone saying how grateful I should be that he molested me."

He said it. His breaths shake. He said it. "Chad." William frowns. "We didn't know."

"Because at least I had someone there," Chad quotes. "Not everyone has someone who can visit you when you're paralyzed. Not everyone has someone who can stab you in the thigh, reach under your hospital gown, and give a lecture on predators all at the same time." Chad whispers, "But I'm so lucky, because he wanted to help me so much that he came before my parents did and slipped past the nurses. All so that he could reassure me that even if I had no future in sports, at least my dick still worked."

"We should have let you talk more," William apologizes.

"Not sure it would've helped," Chad confesses. "I was so angry and confused." He chokes out, "I mean, I thought it was my fault. For not calling for help. For asking him for a scientific explanation for homosexuality. For admitting I was so inclined." He grits his teeth, but they chatter as he speaks, "I trusted him. He was the only one I had told about anything, and he blackmailed me for it. Either I wanted it to happen, or I was so hopped up on oxy that none of it ever happened at all."

"Chad." William shakes his head. "It's not your fault." He watches as Chad squeezes Dino harder. "You know… I could hug you right now." Chad gulps before nodding, and William wraps his arms around him. "You're going to make it through this."

"Not too sure about that."

He lets go. "Why not?"

Chad half laughs. "He's my new supplier. It doesn't matter that all my secrets are out now. If I back out, I'm royally fucked anyway." He cries. "I mean, how could I do it? If I'm thinking about it this much right now, what if I had nothing to numb the pain?"

Chad heaves into a sob, and William hugs him again. "It's going to be okay."

Melon. Sweet cantaloupe pieces hang above him, and Ben attempts to bite the fruit off the string; however, it sways back-and-forth. He moves with them, and once one falls, he follows it over the pit of darkness, losing his balance, before he jolts awake, feels the woman's hand on his hand, and he pulls away. "It's okay. It was just a dream."

Ben glances over the room, but no one else is there. "How long have you been here for?"

"Not too long."

She tries reaching for him again, and he scoots away. "Don't touch me."

She laughs, hurt. "Ben. I'm still your mother."

"I don't want to hurt you," he stresses.

She folds her hands. "Very well. If that's what you want."

"Mother." Her brown eyes meet him. "Why are you here?"

"Yes, well," she pauses, "I was hoping to have some lighthearted conversation before such a serious discussion."

"And what discussion's that?"

She faces him again. "I thought you'd like to know that Mrs. Potts passed away." He stares, and she continues, "It happened shortly before your coma. We've laid her to rest in the family mausoleum if you'd like to pay your respects."

"Okay," Ben accepts.

"You know, I thought you'd be more upset about this," she states. "You've known her your entire life. She cooked every meal—every birthday cake. You should be grateful."

Ben's frown deepens. "You assume I'm not?"

"Well, you're not showing it."

He shakes his head and looks away. "You can go."

"You—"

Ben roars at her, "I said 'go'."

She keeps her posture. "You don't scare me."

"It's not supposed to scare you." Ben yells, "It's supposed to get you to listen. Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"I'm your mother," she enforces. "I don't have to do anything you say."

Ben gapes, and the male nurse knocks on the open door. "Queen Belle." She turns toward him. "It's time to leave."

"Visiting hours aren't over," she disproves.

He steps into the room. "I need to check the king's vitals before bringing his meal."

She stands and wipes the wrinkles away from the front of her dress. "Of course."

He watches her pass him, and Ben releases a breath. "Thank you."

"It's my job to take care of my patients." He moves towards him, grabbing the chart and examining the monitor. "What's your appetite like today?"

"Shit." Ben looks up. "About three thousand calories of peanut butter, pepperoni, and mozzarella cheese."

He informs, "You get a sandwich with a pint of blood. Turkey or salami?"

"Both."

He eyes over at him. "You have to pick."

Ben's eyes lower. "I don't want to pick."

"Then I'll pick for you," he threatens.

"Don't do that." Ben smiles. "Just give me two sandwiches."

The nurse sets the clipboard back in the metal box. "You've gone without solid food for over a month. Given your prior injuries, you're at high risk of stomach rupture if you eat too much too soon."

Ben frowns. "But I'm hungry."

"I'm sure you are," he acknowledges, "but we need to take things slow." Ben slumps in the bed, and the nurse turns away.

"Kyle," Ben urgently says, and the nurse turns at the doorframe. "Could you… I don't want her on the visiting list."

He nods. "I'll bring you a form."

The nurse exits the room, and Ben stares at the TV. His stomach clenches, and he wraps his arms around his smaller waist. Maybe one sandwich isn't a bad thing.

"Where are you getting it from?" Brendan chases after him. "I'm your donor. I have the right to know."

William turns around, and Brendan halts before him. "No. You don't. My fluids aren't going into you. Yours are going into me. You don't have the right to know anything about what I'm doing with anyone. It's my right to know about you."

"I'm your friend too," he reminds him.

"Yes," William firmly replies. "Which is a big reason I'm doing this. Don't you feel healthier only having to donate once a week?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then stop complaining." William continues, "You know, I didn't have to let you rest when you were sick. I had every right to take what I was promised. And legally."

He whispers, "I thought you were worried about getting sick."

"I only get sick if it's serious," he disputes. "I'm not going to catch your cold. I let you rest because you're my friend. I'm reducing your donations to once a week, because it's probably what got you sick in the first place."

"And I'm grateful," he reassures. "But as your friend… I'd still very much like to know about this new resource of yours. Is it safe?"

William relaxes. "Yes. They have a doctor on site and everything."

"On site?" he repeats. "What is it, some sort of club?"

He takes a moment. "I can't tell you that."

"Well, is it legal?" Brendan questions.

"Vampires aren't allowed more than one donor." William flusters, "They're not allowed to drink from anyone who's not a donor. Of course, it's not legal."

- Posted: 05/23/2021