A small flotilla of five ships slowly encroached upon Thriller Bark. The first rays of sunlight reflected upon their backs. Using sunlight as a camouflage, the fleet had crept within 100 meters of the island.
"So this is the largest ship in the world." A blunderbuss wielding midget looked up with awe. His blue and white striped shirt was damp with sweat.
"Keheh! What you afraid of Fou'? Boss smart. Shadow man no home." An obese tanned giant grinned widely. An oversized axe, large even for a giant, rested on his shoulder.
"Nervous? I'm not nervous, you're the nervous one Three!" Four shouted to be heard by the giant.
The midget, Four shifted his eyes left and right to make sure no one was observing him. Everywhere his eyes observed, he saw the stiff backs of his fellow killers facing away from him.
"Hm, hm, no one heard, that's good." Four fingered his blunderbuss in happiness.
While Four was smiling with a feeling of content, there was a slight click.
"Uh oh."
After a two second delay, Four's blunderbuss shot towards the portside. Shrapnel like shots littered the deck.
"Holy Sea God, I'm alive!" One of the Eighty Eight's cheered.
"We're all alive!" The dozen or so killers who were in line of sight from the blunderbuss' discharge all wore smiles of relief.
Seconds later, the constant sound of bells ringing sounded from Thriller Bark.
"I think you gave us away Fou'."
"What makes you say that Three?"
In response, Three lifted one meaty finger.
Following the direction Three was pointing in, Four saw the giant lip gates of Thriller Bark open up. A moment later, the group of ships were rapidly sucked inward due to the water level imbalance.
"Ah. We still have the element of surprise. Surely, One won't decapitate me, right Three?" Four all but squeaked. The already damp and sweaty shirt had become entirely soaked through.
Seconds later, cannon fire churned up great splotches of water. Clusters of musket shot accurately struck the sails and bow of the ship.
"Haw haw, weh goin in lowd now Fou'! Lev ah da snickin ta Twaoo." Three grinned from ear to ear.
The giant lifted his ludicrously large axe with both hands. Pulling it behind his head, he squinted one eye, took a step forward, and released with all his might.
*Thump*
The double headed axe sailed through the air, absolutely demolishing a section of the cobblestone walls that ringed the island.
"Less go!" Scooping up Four onto his shoulder, Three jumped forward.
"W-wait Three, I don't think you can make-" Four screamed out before he was submerged underwater.
Three reached out his hands towards the island in a classic superman pose, only to belly flop halfway there. A large plume of water spilt into the air.
"Imbeciles." From another boat, One hissed at what he had just witnessed.
Turning to glare at his subordinates, he hissed one last time, "Remember your orders."
Adjusting his tie, One jumped from his boat to the shore, before disappearing into the island.
Bags underneath his eyes from a sleepless night, Absalom was awake and praying in the chapel for Moria and his departed nakama. He was the first to react to the alarm bells.
Scrambling to a balcony, Absalom observed the ships with his sniper scope.
"Three ships, merchants maybe?" Absalom muttered to himself.
"Should I rouse Hogback for a friendly tour of the mansion, your greatness?" Blue asked from the side, a steaming pitcher of coffee in hand.
"Yes yes. No, wait! A giant, and with an axe that big? No, no. Those are pirates looking for plunder."
Voice filled with command; Absalom ordered Blue. "Give me the den den mushi Blue!"
Jumping at the sudden serious tone coming from Absalom, Blue tossed the coffee, and scrambled for the den den mushi.
"Your den den mushi, sir!" Blue handed the snail over.
Mean mugging Blue with a murderous eye, Absalom snatched the device from Blue's hand. Droplets of coffee spraying out onto the zombie's face in the process.
Dialing a number, Absalom had access to speakers set up all throughout the island.
"Attention crew! Enemy's approach from the islands entrance. All forces, engage the enemy!"
"I've got this towel for you Absalom-sama." Blue held up a certain elephant themed towel for Absalom to wipe his face off with.
Taking a look at the towel, Absalom grimaced. Without a word, he jumped off the railing before turning invisible.
"Ah, am I in trouble?" Blue looked out towards Thriller Bark's entrance as the steady beat of cannons began to go off.
Walking along the corridors of Thriller Bark's Castle Mast, two zombies escorted their charge toward her prison. Initially, they walked past paintings of maidens, dignitaries, towns, and flowery fields. The deeper they trudged into the tower, the more gruesome, and macabre the paintings became. Images of suffering, slaughter, and hard labor became the norm.
"Hmph, I can't believe we missed out on the action at Tequila Wolf! If we were the one's fighting the Revolutionary commander, just the pair of us alone could've taken her out! Throwing those two pups at her was a waste of manpower." Fu Manchu snarled.
The torchlight in the hall reflected off the bronze armored General Zombie. He rested a giant, bloodied blade against his broad, shoulders. His mustache hanged low to the point of touching the ground, similarly caked in gore.
"Jajaja, what's that dripping from your blade then?" Captain John laughed merrily; his pearly white teeth opened thirstily only to be met by an empty bottle.
"Hasta la madre!" Seeing the bottle was empty, John cursed, and smashed it against the floor.
Fu Manchu's shoulders shook, and deep laughter filled the halls.
Walking in between the two of them, their charge, Nico Robin had her face down. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat.
"Eh, why the glum look? Cheer up little one, your fate isn't so bad. The big man upstairs said that as a fellow student of history, you'll fit right in. The graveyard is filled with monuments collected from ancient history, and the paintings here all tell their own story. Many are based on real events! Heck, you're looking at an ancient relic right now!" John attempted to comfort her.
"Pfah! Don't let John fool you, he's been dead for less than 20 years. Ancient! Ha! Listen to me little lass, if you want to see ancient, then you've got to go to our basement. You'll be in for a shock then." Fu Manchu butted in; his tone of voice was similar to that of a two-bit gangster.
"Thank you for your consideration Mr. John, and Mr. Mustache." Robin looked up, a beaming smile that didn't reach her eyes met John and Fu Manchu.
"Why you little brat." Fu Manchu raised a fist.
"Jajajaja, here we are, Perona-sama's 'Wonder Garden.' Here you'll be enjoying your stay surrounded by all sorts of exotic plants. Beautiful flowers seem to be its specialty as of late." Taking a bow, and flourishing his hand, John directed Robin into the garden.
"Another one already?! See, I told you Nojiko, this is all that big guys plot to build a harem!" The pink haired Lola parted her large lips, and pointed an accusatory finger Robin's way.
Running a hand through her short blue hair, Nojiko sighed. Ignoring Lola's outburst, Nojiko turned to address the newcomer. Seeing her face, Nojiko tried her best to be approachable.
"Welcome to this gilded cage we call home. My name is Nojiko, and the rude one is named Lola. It's dark out now, but why don't you come join us for some tea? The host of the event, and owner of this garden asked us to gather before going into her room. Seems she's forgotten about us, but I'm sure you'll make good company."
"So, what are you in for? I'm a political prisoner, because my mom is important. And Nojiko here is being held prisoner because her sister stole from Moria's treasury." Lola blabbed the second Robin took a seat.
"Lola, to soon!" Nojiko scowled at Lola, all the while gesturing with her eyes towards the two General Zombies standing at the entrance.
"Ohh, uhh, my bad?" Lola scratched the back of her head in embarrassment.
"Jajaja, no need to mind us, we're just little missy's guards for now. Order from the big guy." John waved at Nojiko.
"Hmph, I'm watching you." Fu Manchu crossed his arms.
"Jajaja, you're just salty she got the drop on you, and snapped your neck."
Cheeks burning red, Fu Manchu growled in displeasure.
"Jajaja."
"It's okay…Ms. Pink, and Ms." Robin paused mid-sentence, her eyes widening.
"You said Nojiko's sister stole from him…perchance, is your sister's name Nami!?"
"You know my sister?!" Nojiko stood up in shock. Her tea fell onto the floor, only to be caught by one of Robin's many hands and placed neatly back on the table.
"Know her, I'm in the same crew as her. I, well, at least I was. I knew I shouldn't have believed in them. Who knew a month of happiness and freedom would be all I get? In the end, it always comes down to me." A bitter smile spread across Robin's face.
Nojiko didn't know what to say, and Lola went to comfort Robin, when all of the sudden, explosions started to light up the night sky.
bump da thump
"Does anyone hear that?" One of the animal zombie residents questioned his peers.
"Nah, you're crazy man." A stuffed zebra zombie replied.
Bump Da Thump
"There it is again! Tell me you didn't hear that? Actually, it's louder, and sounds like it's getting closer…"
"Uhh, maybe? I'd have to hear it again."
BUMP DA THUMP
A dark-skinned man adorned in purple and gold cloth burst through the wall. Around his neck hung a chain of gold with the letters L A, and he wore a golden hoop earring on his left ear. Behind him were a squad of people playing instruments, creating a funky, and hip hop-like bass.
"Puh puh! Awe, it's all over my clothes!" The man was caked in a chalky mess of dust and granite.
"…" Everyone in the garden was speechless at such an 'overbearing' entrance.
The man wiped dust off his green glasses, and shook his mohawk free of rubble. Looking left and right, his eyes focused on the bust of three women sitting at the table.
"Ahh yes, my nose has never led me astray before. This room is full of the honeyyy's"
Without waiting for a chance at dialogue, Fu Manchu raised his giant blade. The curved sword, that was longer than two meters swiped down at him with great force.
"Now that's just rude, I haven't even had a chance to introduce myself!" Unsheathing a katana, the man deflected Fu Manchu's attack, and kicked him back.
"Listen good, and listen right. I am the Crazy Eighty Eight's numbah 2! Da Samoorai!"
"Hrah!" Lunging forward, Fu Manchu trampled the grass with his rhinoceros legs. He took large, wild sweeps with his blade. Each strike was perfectly parried to the side, so that the maximum force never hit Da Samoorai.
Beginning to become enraged at his lack of progress, Fu Manchu coated his blade in a layer of black haki.
"Tsk tsk, are you trying to break my momma? I'd say, you're not tough enough!" Da Samoorai likewise coated his sword in a layer of armament haki.
"Jajaja, go get him Mr. Mustache" John catcalled from the sideline. He merrily drank from a new bottle of wine while enjoying the spectacle.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't care about your whore of a mother, fight me like a man, damn you!" Fu Manchu wrecked the walls, and scenery. Precious fruit bearing trees, and a couple unfortunate 'cute' zombies became collateral between their crossfire.
Pointing towards his katana, Da Samoorai addressed the room. "This here, is my momma. Now don't chu be talkin bad about my momma. Isn't that right momma?"
Raising his voice a few octaves, Da Samoorai spoke for his sword "Mmmhmmm, mmm hmmm, that's right baby."
BUMP DA THUMP All the while, the beat kept being played in the background.
"Mnn, here it comes, the crazy eight!" Swishing his sword in the shape of an 8, sword ki formed, and launched towards Fu Manchu.
"Childs play!" Fu Manchu slashed downward, cutting through the sword ki and a sizeable portion of the garden slid off the tower, and onto the ground.
While Fu Manchu was focused on dispersing the sword ki, Da Samoorai had snuck up on him.
"And here comes the sucker punch." Da Samoorai tapped Fu Manchu on the back of the shoulder.
"Huh?" Fu Manchu turned his face, only to be punched squarely in the jaw.
"Suckaa!" Da Samoorai blew on his knuckles, and waved his hand from the heavy blow.
Emerging from the rubble, Fu Manchu's scowl was in full effect. A large, fist shaped indent was visible on the side of his bronze helmet.
"Don't just stand there John, do something!"
"Jajaja, but weren't you just complaining about not getting enough action? As your friend, I figured you'd want the glory of taking out this poser in a 1v1."
"Well you thought wrong! Now stop slouching against the wall, and get your lazy ass into gear. We're going to teach this clown a lesson!"
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you. Just call me. A posa?" Da Samoorai lost his ever-present upbeat vibe, and his voice took on a deadly edge.
Even the musicians in the background stopped playing. They eyed each other, and gulped, taking a few extra steps backward as an extra precaution.
"Jajaja, that's right, you're a poser. You have no respect for the old school!" John replied, mockery in his voice.
"Old school? Ain't no apple sauce eatin, rag wearin, old as dirt, wrinkly ass old man gonna come up into my crib, and tell me what I can do, or what I am! I am certified fresh! Mm mm, dj, drop me a beat!"
Tsh Bop Csh
"Jajaja, you call that a beat? Better stick to what you know boy, maybe getting intimate with that 'momma' of yours, and sticking it where the sun don't shine."
"Ahhaaha, he got you good." Walking out of the rubble, Fu Manchu joined in on John's roast. His baritone voice let loose with a deep belly laugh.
"I warned you, don't you be talkin bad bout my momma!" Eyes glowing red with rage, Da Samoorai jumped into the air, and brought his sword down with a mighty force.
John simply dodged to the side, and brought his half empty bottle down on Da Samooria's head, knocking him to the ground.
"Jajaja, you haven't even touched a flower, yet you're so sticky. Perhaps you're a little premature in your preparations?"
"I'm gonna knock you out!" While on the floor, Da Samurai exchanged blows back and forth with John. Stone chips flew from the ground, pelting everyone in a dozen meter radius.
"Momma said knock you out!" Flipping up from the ground Da Samoorai began gaining tempo, pushing John back. Da Samoorai's voice started to move in tempo with his band.
Going into a frenzy, Da Samoorai repeated those two lines over and over again. All the while, he slashed left right, left right, left right.
Grinning from ear to ear, John matched his tempo. Each swing of John's sword was at maximum power. His zombie endurance, powerful muscles, and skill with the sword made for an impregnable defense.
"Huff huff, momma said huff, knock, you, huff, out! I'ma, huff huff, knock you out!" Da Samoorai took in deep gulps of air. Sweat began to drip from his forehead, fogging up his glasses.
Da Samoorai reached up with his off hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead. The moment he did, John lunged forward.
"Hahaaa, didn't think you'd fall for it. Take this sucka!" Da Samoorai expertly parried John's sword with his own, and then reached forward with his fist.
Before Da Samoorai's fist could connect, he was trampled over by four rhino legs.
"I'm mad!" Shirt torn, Da Samoorai ripped it off, exposing a six pack of abs, and bulging muscles. His whole body was covered in dust and sweat.
"Jajaja, who's sucking what now?" John approached Da Samoorai, Fu Manchu trailing at the side.
"Huaaaagh!" Snarling in fury, Da Samoorai swiped his sword at John, only to be attacked from the side. He had no choice but to dodge. Every time he wanted to go on the offence, the other General Zombie would force him back.
A vein began to bulge on Da Samoorai's head.
"It's helicopter time!" Spinning rapidly in a circle, Da Samoorai resembled a spin top. His sword moved at an incredible speed, and easily blocked both Fu Manchu, and John's attacks.
Several minutes of this went on, before Da Samoorai put his hand on a wall. Eyes spinning in circles, he barfed on the ground.
When he came to, he looked up to see the pair of Zombie General's grinning at him.
At the end of his wits, Da Samoorai frowned in consternation. During this time, bells began to ring non stop across the castle.
"Attention crew! Enemy's approach from the islands entrance. All forces, engage the enemy!"
"Heh heh, that's my boys. They'll pull up here and blast you if you take another step forward!" Da Samoorai shouted.
Grinning maliciously, the two zombies took one step forward, then two, and three. Until they were less than a meter apart. Blades held aloft, they were prepared to end this fight.
"Now hold up! Hold up I say! We can resolve this peacefully. We're civilized men after all! I came here for one thing, and one thing only! I was told by some reliable sources that a pink haired beauty made this her home. I came here to serenade her! Love her! Squeeze her, kiss her, hold her! Now, no offense to you two bozo's, but have you got a clue as to where I can find her?"
"If it's a pink haired beauty you want, will I fit the bill?" Sauntering out of a battered corridor, Lola stepped out onto the rubble strewn garden.
Lifting his head in the direction of the voice, Da Samoorai's eyes zeroed in on her breasts.
"Whoa momma! Those are some big knockers! See gentleman, even the lady wants me!" Without taking his eyes off of the mountains, he zipped next to Lola.
He began talking in a soft, and gentle voice. "Hey baby girl, I'm gonna treat you right. Once we leave this stuffy dead place, it's gonna be tight."
"Oh husband, I've been dreaming of this day!" Grabbing Da Samoorai's head, she smashed his face into her chest.
Rubbing his head in between the two pillars for a solid minute, Da Samoorai took a deep breath to remember the scent, before extracting himself.
Turning to his crew, he grinned from ear to ear. Proud in his conquest, he raised his voice for all to hear.
"Ahh, you see that gentleman? Your boy has got game!"
In response, the guys holding the instruments turned their heads to the side. Not a one of them met his eyes.
"Huh?" Confused by their response, a befuddled look came upon his face. Da Samoorai turned to Lola, and looked at her, really looked at her to see what had his men so askance.
"Godamn!" Was all he got out before foaming at the mouth, and passing out to the side. His body flopped about like a fish that had come to land.
"Ahem, well boys, how about I teach you about the 'old school?" John grinned toward the frightened squad of guys holding instruments.
"And then I was like 'Would anyone else like a taste?' After blowing up the bandit boss with my mushroom powers, everyone else surrendered quickly. It turned out that they had turned to banditry because everyone was starving, and trade had dried up. There wasn't much I could do, but I did help them set up a mushroom farm in their village." Kenji enthusiastically retold his bandit capture mission to his family at the underground village on Thriller Bark.
"Har har, you do an old man proud Kenji." A toothless old man smiled warmly.
"It takes great courage and valor to uphold your morals considering who you've sworn your service to." A man dressed in tattered, western styled priest garb said to Kenji.
Kenji beamed at their praise. "Thanks to you Gramps, Priest, and all the villagers for teaching me." Kenji bowed.
"None of that now lad, none of that." A hunched old woman came by and lifted him up. Her pale face, awash with messy red rashes gave Kenji a proud smile.
Taking a deep breath, Kenji took in the village he had spent half his life in. The dilapidated, molding support beams. Dim, glowing mushroom ceiling. The rotten blankets, rat bitten feet. He clenched his fists, before exhaling. Things were going to change for his family, and he would be the catalyst for that change, or he wouldn't be the man they had raised him to be.
Regaining his bright smile, Kenji raised his head, and turned toward the villagers.
"Tales of the outside world aren't all I bring!" Cracking open a giant box, goods spilled out.
"Bless my heart, are those futons?"
"This smell…that smelly smell that smells…smelly. Anchovies! Finally, some fresh fish!"
"Heh heh, thanks boy. Leave behind some more of those purple shrooms of yours before you leave! It's uhh, for medicinal purposes!"
"Hey, a newspaper. I can finally read about the latest discoveries from Ohara!"
The dozen plus crowd shuffled past Kenji and rummaged through the box.
Walking up towards his old man, Kenji spotted a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Don't think I forgot you Gramps. The island has this amazing place with all sorts of astounding food! You always said the one food you missed were peaches. Well…surprise!" Holding out his arm, Kenji held out a basket of peaches.
"I, I couldn't take those Kenji, they should be shared with the villagers!" Gramps stuttered, pushing the basket away.
"Just take the basket ye stubborn fool." Priest walked by, a shiny new crucifix in hand.
"I. Oh. Welcome home Kenji." Gramps reached out, and embraced Kenji in a tight hug.
"Hehe heh." Kenji scratched the back of his head, and smiled into Gramps's chest.
It wasn't long before the moment was broken by the loud sound of cannon fire. The soil shook, and the sounds of men shouting came from above.
The villagers began to scream, and all took cover in their respective hidey holes.
Kenji pushed himself away from Gramps, a vigilant and fiery look in his eye.
"Don't go out Kenji, it's safe in here." Gramps held onto Kenji's arm. Unwilling to let go after he had just came back from a battle.
Kenji hesitated for a moment. A thought of schadenfreude entered his head. 'Maybe I should stay down just this once, and let the invaders do as much damage as they can without the monster holding down the fort.'
Right after he thought this, the intensity of the soil falling onto the village intensified.
"I have to go Gramps. I can't let outsiders discover you guys. What if you get exposed to the sun, and disappear?! I can't let that happen." Murder in his eye, Kenji ascended to the surface.
"Daka daka daka daka!" An obese giant swung his huge axe at a hoard of zombies. More and more kept emerging from tunnels in the ground.
"Blargh! S-slow down Three!" Four shouted from Three's shoulder.
"Daka daka daka daka!" Lost in a blood rage, Three kept slamming the ground. Whenever a zombie would get back up or emerge from the ground, he'd make sure it stayed down. Broken limbs, and a white, green grey fluid from their splattered remains saturated the soil.
Slipping out of the ground behind the giant, a silent killer analyzed his prey. Eyes focused, Sergeant Omaida brandished a haki tipped katana, before quickly slicing through the giant's achilleas tendon. Soon after, he grinned Kenji's way, and slipped into a nearby tunnel, disappearing from sight.
"Daka daka daka daka!" Ignorant or uncaring of the wound, Three kept smashing the ground. Wherever he spotted a tunnel, he would dig a spot up, and crush the zombies within.
"Oi, you're bleeding you idiot!" Four screeched into the giant's ear.
"Eh?" Three looked down.
Three blinked. Then he blinked again.
Lifting his axe, he slammed it down "Daka daka daka daka!"
"Why am I friends with this idiot?!" The midget, Four shouted into the sky.
Pausing in his slaughter, Three took a moment to consider.
"Undoubtably. You are aware? I ask myself that question every time I set you on my shoulder, Four."
"What?"
"Wut?"
A moment of silence passed, and the wind blew. The silence was swiftly broken by a sudden explosion on Three's midsection.
"Da ememy approaches!" Shouting in rage, Three pointed at Kenji.
Rushing through the smoke caused by the explosion, Three ruthlessly churned up dirt, and trees on his warpath.
Eyes widening at the ineffectiveness of his green series mushroom explosion, Kenji jumped away. Creating a green mushroom beneath his feat, he blasted himself away, just in time to evade a swing by the giant's axe.
Shooting several more blasts the giant's way, Kenji's mind was ablaze. 'What the hell is that bastard Omaida doing here so close to the village?!'
Another swing of the axe, and Kenji had to focus back on the fight.
Running into the forest, Kenji shot explosives at the giant to keep his attention, and pull him away from his village.
A loud click sound echoed to his location, followed by a boom. A second later, the trees around him exploded into thousands of pieces.
Eyes wide, Kenji saw smoke drift away from the giant's shoulder. A midget with a blunderbuss began to lackadaisically reload his gun.
Breathing heavily, Kenji had run half way across the island while under attack.
'These explosive mushrooms aren't strong enough! With how strong that giant is swinging, I don't think I could beat him with my fists. Do I stall him till help arrives?'
Images of Omaida's villainous smirk flashed in Kenji's mind.
"No!" Shaking his head at the thought of Omaida potentially making trouble for his family, Kenji knew he had to do something.
"But what? It's not like I can do something miraculous like that purple haired revolution lady?"
"Wait, purple? Why does this sound familiar?" Scrunching his nose, Kenji fell into deep thought.
'It's medicinal!'
"That's it!" Shouting in excitement, Kenji finally had a solution.
Far enough away from his home, he stopped and turned around. Purple mushrooms with white spots sprouted all along Kenji's body. A slight, purplish haze began to accumulate around his body, and drift in the wind.
Picking a purple mushroom off his body, he held it aloft. His entire being was enticed by this wonder. Kenji's eyes were focused entirely on the mushroom. After much difficulty, he uttered a line: "Purple Series: Purple Haze"
Giggling in ecstasy, he threw the mushroom with all his might at the giant, before collapsing on his back. He gazed into the sky, lost in a psychedelic dream.
The mushroom exploded into a big purple cloud right in front of the giant's face.
"Something's happening."
"Help me." Three reached up, scratching the skin off his arm.
"It's the purple haze." Eyes wide, Four looked at the purple cloud. All earlier anger lost into a befuddled mind.
'Why am I so angry with Three all the time. I should just go with the flow more.' Four dug into Three's shoulder, and laid down to nap. It felt like he had fallen into a perfect land of complete softness.
"F-fire!" Three dove into the ground, and started rolling around.
Four was violently flung off, and crash landed into a tree.
"Oof, what'd you do that for? Looks like you had a bad trip. See, I told you that you got cut down there."
"Puru puru puru."
"Puru puru puru."
"RUN AWAY!" Three continued to roll around on the ground.
"Hey, that's pretty cool Three. You know what, we should go to the moon. Not just the moon, ALL THE MOONS!" Four smiled. Putting his hands behind his head, he relaxed into the crook of a tree.
"Ugh, where am I?" Saga reached to hold a hand to his aching head, but winced in pain. His arm reached halfway, before flopping uselessly to the side.
Turning his head left and right, Saga found himself resting on an operating table in a dim, candle lit room. Resting on two operating tables next to him lay an unconscious Golas, and El Drago. The floor and tables were covered in a dark, cakey crimson, coated by a new layer of bright red.
"You're in my mansion of course." Approaching from the shadows, Hogback introduced himself. Scalpel in hand, he slowly sidled up next to Saga.
Hogback began to idly trace the instrument over Saga's bicep. Not a word came from his mouth, as he maintained absolute focus.
"Get back dog. I demand to know what I'm doing in this, this squalor." Saga gnashed his teeth, spitting at Hogback.
Wiping spittle from his glasses, Hogback grinned.
"Why, improving you of course! Your flesh is weak. New flesh will make you stronger. More perfect. Don't you want to be perfect Mr. Saga?" Hogback asked in a clinically detached tone.
Hogback lowered himself next to Saga's ear.
"My art improves a specimen's agility, speed, and might tenfold. Strength Mr. Saga, isn't that what you seek? Don't be so fast to reject my…ministration."
Pulling away, Saga walked to a sink and began to thoroughly wash his hands. Humming a cheery ditty all the while.
Conflict played across Saga's face. On one hand, power was being openly offered to him. For free! As it should be, a small part of him told himself. But what was the price? Looking like a freak. Like that lion?
Saga licked his lips. 'Maybe. Maybe I should say ye-.'
A sudden explosion rocked the large wooden door leading to the room. Large chunks of wood sprayed everywhere, as an axe head withdrew itself from the door. Swiftly after, a second hack of the axe swung against the door.
It was at this point that Saga noticed the bells ringing.
"I had hoped things wouldn't come to this." Sighing in disinterested exasperation, Hogback pushed his glasses up.
"Well, I might as well get dressed. Cindry, my dear. Would you be so kind as to grab my new outfit?"
"Right away Hogback-sama." Cindry bowed.
"And I told you to call me Trash-kun!" Hogback hollered at her departing form.
Another axe strike, and the door started to give way.
"Quick, untie me fool! Grant me my blade, I can heal damnit!" Starting to lose his cool, panic was setting in Saga's eyes.
"Women, eh? Ahh, I wish she'd go back to breaking my plate, and spitting in my food." Hogback toyed with his surgical mask in exasperation.
Saga's face went from panic to fury. "We're about to die, and those are the last words I'm going to hear!?"
"Ello love, we're not interruptin nothin, are we now?" Waltzing into the room, a clean shaven, skinny man in suspenders, and a bowler hat made his entrance.
Standing behind the man were nine others, each armed with a variety of weapons.
"Sorry'bout the door ere. Ole Mickens used to be a lumberjack e did. But where are me manners, I'm Sir Enry Finchgerald III. But my boys call me Finchy. Outsiders might know me as Five. You must be the world renowned doctor, Hogback I presume?" Finchy took off his hat, and gave a short bow.
"…Eh? You lads, you bow to now. This ere's a real miracle worker e is! Once transplanted a brain int an entirely new body. If that don't get yer panties in a twist, then I don't know what would!" Finchy was all smiles, as he addressed his men.
"Now be good lads, and bow to the good doctor." A threat of violence entered Finchy's voice that saw his men rapidly bow.
"Good, good. That's enough now. E get's the message ya twits, enough with da bowing! Sorry'bout this sorry lot. I keep apologizing, and aven't gotten to the reason o my visit! See, I'm representing some big interests, and they're very interested in your talents good doctor."
"Hm, I'm very happy with my current employer. Corpses are aplenty, no pesky peers clamoring about morals. Best of all, I don't have to deal with those sniveling mud people. Do you have any idea what it's like to be hounded, begged to save someone's life?" Hogback's face was one of utter disgust.
"Sure, one or two is fine, if anything, it's fun to work on a new case. But after thousands of surgeries, I've seen them all. There is no challenge anymore. No excitement! What I want most is to experiment freely to my heart's content! Moria-sama provides this for me all to well. Good day sir, we have nothing further to discuss!" Crossing his arms, Hogback turned his back on the invaders.
"Don't be so fast to reject my…proposition. As I understand it, they'd be offering you carte blanch. All the test subjects in the world to work with, both living and dead. No restrictions, no fear about being imprisoned or executed as a pirate. Full, and total clemency. All the bells, and whistles. Frankly, doctor, I'm jealous of the benefits you'll receive working for them."
"It sounds like you've found yourself quite the client Sir Finchgerald III. I must admit, what you're offering sure is tempting, but…"
"But?"
"But, unfortunately for you, you could offer me the world as my personal playground and be unable to offer the thing I most value. Love."
Finchy placed a hand against his forehead and sighed.
"I wish you didn't say that doctor. I really, truly wish you didn't. Well boys, you eard the man. Negotiations failed, we'll get'em next time." Finchy turned back to the door to walk away.
"You mean we're going to leave him. Just like that?" Mickins, axe in hand, asked from within the crowd.
"Mickins, Mickins, Mickins. O'course we're not going to leave 'just like that." Approaching Mickens, Finchy made a sudden movement, gripping him.
"Five, what are you!" Mickins screamed out, before he was tossed at Hogback.
*Ptah* Finchy spat to the side.
Walking up to the tangle of limbs that was Mickens and Hogback, Finchy had a grin on his face.
"Mickens. My dear Mickens. Didn't I just explain to the doctor, that my friends call me Finchy?"
"I, I'm sorry Finchy! It's not like that! I was just surprised is all. Honest!"
"Oh how I wish to believe you Mickens. But don't think I didn't see you talking with the other killers late last night."
"Y-you what?" Mickens's face paled at the accusation.
"That's right, plottin to see me killed, and take my place you were. So go on, call me Five. That's why you singed up with the Crazy Eighty Eight, right? To be another number in 'Er Majesties' army, right?" Finchy slowly walked up to Mickens, and placed his palm around his skull, lifting him from the ground.
"Five, fuck you Five! I always hated the way you talk! Guys, jump him now! His back is turned, quick, do it now!" Mickens's desperately cried out to the men standing behind Finchy.
"I'd say it was a pleasure knowin you, but then again, eh. G'bye Six." A hint of armament haki covered Finchy's finger tips, before he crushed Mickens's head to a pulp.
Finchy looked down at his not entirely coated fist of armament haki, and sighed. 'I need more training. Oh well, time to send the boys a message, they've been acting up to much lately.'
"Ow ya boys angen up, all good?" The gore drenched Finchy turned towards his crew and smiled.
Mute, the squad of men quickly nodded.
"Good, now let's get this show on the road, we have a doctor to kidnap."
Right when Finchy turned around to take care of business, a ham sized fist slammed into the ground below his feet. The ground caved in, partially collapsing the room. A plume of dust and debris obscured the scene.
"Ack, blasted controls." At least a dozen voices said the same line from the center of the dust plume.
"What the ell is this all'bout now?" Covered in dust, Finchy patted himself off. Early morning rays of sunlight peaked into the room, illuminating the scene before him.
Standing opposite him was a four meters tall patchwork abomination. It had the head of a fly, and an elephant head for a torso, instead of a trunk, there was a viper swaying left and right. The creature's back was a mass of swaying tentacles. The left arm was a giant crab pincer, and the right was a gorilla arm. In its grasp was a rapier. The legs were surprisingly normal, and looked like they could've come from an adolescent giant, or particularly large human.
"Fos fos fos fos fos! You like my art. Right? Right? I call this beauty my Red Tuxedo. How does it feel to be witnessing perfection? Are you watching, Saga my boy? This set of clothing is a small step at what I could provide you. Of course, you'll have to rely on your own shadow to power yourself, fos fos fos fos! We can't all be favored by Moria-sama, and provided with shadows for training, and secret projects like this!" Squished behind layers of flesh, Hogback sat within the monstrosity he had created.
Multiple screens had given Hogback vision from the fly eyes, and elephant eyes. Likewise, audio inside of the chamber was provided by the elephant ears, and a few other audio receptors. Whenever he spoke, multiple voice boxes would convey his words. Old voices, sexy voices, worn voices, men, women, children. Each time he spoke within his cocoon, the entire spectrum of humanity spoke for him.
Gripping a pair of joysticks, and pressing buttons reminiscent of an arcade cabinet, Hogback directed Red Tuxedo.
'Now if I just spin this down and to the right, A, B. Hotdouken!' Controlling Red Tuxedo, Hogback launched his fist forward, away from his body.
"Rocket fist?!" Was all a member of Finchy's squad got out before he was punched unconscious.
A moment later, Hogback pressed some buttons, and reeled the fist back. A long and pink, sinewy cord of flesh tensed up, and brought the fist back to the main body for reattachment.
"Bloody ell! I really want to recruit this guy now!" Finchy exclaimed.
A number circled behind Red Tuxedo's back, and raised his katana.
Catching him on the heads-up display, Hogback maneuvered his other joystick, and pressed a set of buttons.
"Your inability to properly pronounce the letter 'H' is really starting to annoy me!"
The tentacles on Red Tuxedo's back perfectly countered the number's blade, snapped it in half, and sent him flying into the wall.
"That, that redirection of force! That's fishman karate!" One of the number's exclaimed in shock.
Finchy cracked his neck, and walked up to Red Tuxedo.
"Let's rock." In a moment, Finchy jumped up, and slammed forward with one mean right hook. Armament haki covered the tips of his knuckles as he aimed at Red Tuxedo's fly head.
Dodging backward, Red Tuxedo evaded the strike to the head, but caught a hit to his elephant torso. Flying backward into the mansion. However, as Red Tuxedo fell backwards, the viper that had replaced the elephant trunk struck out.
"It's gonna take more than that I'm afraid." Finchy moved to the side, slapping the snake head to the side.
"Puru puru puru."
"Puru puru puru."
"That's the signal boy's, it's time to pack up and move out! Grab Seven, and Eight, then let's head out! We don't want to miss our window of escape here!" Finchy checked his den den mushi, and moved to the door.
"Yes!" Nodding grimly, the members of the squad grabbed their brothers, before disappearing from the mansion grounds.
"Stay and fight me weaklings! Tremble at the might of the future ruler of the world! Saga!"
"So you yell at them when their backs are turned? How pathetic." Cindry stood beside Saga, and looked down at him in disdain.
"Watch your words wench." Saga spat from the operating table.
"Ooo, I'm so scared." Cindry rolled her eyes.
Red Tuxedo approached the center of the damaged room from the hole he had been flung into before stopping. He looked at Cindry's hateful face. Then he glanced down at the operating tables. Loud breathing voices sounded from his voice boxes, before he disappeared back into the shadows.
"Cerulean." A cultured voice quietly uttered.
"Mantle." A soft whisper coated in steel responded.
Two lithe men stood across from each other in the dark depths of Thriller Bark's Frozen Block. Silently staring each other in the eyes until one gave in.
"When angels are thrown out of heaven, they become devils. You agree. Don't you Neko." The soft voiced was the first to break the silence.
"Why did you come here Ichi? Or are you going by One now? Always so quick to establish yourself as the leader. Uno, Yi, Wahid. You've become oh so predictable wherever you go." The cultured voice, identified as Neko mocked.
"And yet, here I am. One. Leader of the Crazy Eighty-Eights. A top killer organization with ties across the underworld. The information I'm privy to moves the world round. I've killed others for looking at me the wrong way, what's to stop me from ending a failure like you?" One slowly, and casually drew his blade. His eyes stared mockingly at Neko.
Neko adopted a smug smile of superiority, and pushed up a pair of glasses. "Although it pains me to admit it, you were always superior to me in martial pursuits. However, it was no mistake that saw me into my current state. You can keep your petty connections."
"So the younger brother has grown teeth has he?" Smiling, One closed the gap between the two of them, and gently placed his blade on Neko's neck.
Neko continued to stair One down.
"Hmph. Your style is still the same. Utterly shallow and pedantic."
"I always told you that smug ass attitude of yours would get you killed someday." One whispered in his ear.
*snick*
Withdrawing his blade, One swiftly grabbed a folder from Neko's hands before turning around.
"Julia is dead, by the way. Threw herself off a cliff once she heard you died. Till next time."
While walking away, One reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a den den mushi.
Dialing a specific number, he ordered the retreat.
When One's back had disappeared around the corner, Neko held up a trembling hand to his neck.
'Blood.' Neko's knees trembled, and he sat on the cold ground.
Neko heard a muttered "Soru" down the hall, before One's figure slowly reemerged from around the corner.
"Oh by the way, I caught this pest sneaking around in the hallway. Based on the look of surprise on his face, he probably didn't know I could hear him the entire time. You should probably do something about this so your cover isn't blown. Good luck little brother." One casually tossed a blonde haired, lion faced head onto Neko's lap.
AN: Yep, he dead! Maybe it's to easy, but think about it. Absalom is weak af! Sure, he has a shadow empowering him rn, but that's a sniper's shadow! Sorry to all the people who voted for Absalom to find true happiness. I really was going to ship him with Nojiko, but alas. It was something I really struggled with, whether I should have Absalom, or Kumashi (Perona's bear) die. But, it's 5:30 AM my time when I finished this, so. Thems the breaks.
Moving forward, Perona will feature more heavily, I think. Absalom's death will act as the stimulus to push her forward. I kind of envision Saga, Perona, and Kenji as Moria's own "monster trio." Next chapter, w/e I get to it. should be a shortish interlude where I introduce more members of the Wu Tang Clan, and maybe introduce a new Admiral/Shichibukai.
Neko's identity should be pretty easy to guess, I think. I've been semi setting up for his character to go the spy route for a while now. And if that doesn't work, process of elimination should do just as well.
Oh yeah, and if there's any confusion for Hogback. He basically made a flesh golem, and had a shadow empower each individual part. He's inside the flesh suit, and it's named Red Tuxedo.
There's a new cartoon, Invincible. Google it, and watch it. I can only describe it as a DC clone, but if all the buildings and cars actually had people in them when a super fight breaks out.