37.

Hermione:

Study or chocolate?

Break and a kiss?

Pansy had sung a part of "Wonderwall" in her ear, a Muggle song by one of her favorite bands, Oasis, and she was nowhere near getting over it even though it had been a couple of days now.

She rested her elbow on the table and used her fist as support for her head. She let out a sigh, peeking back. In this Transfiguration class Hermione had sat next to Harry and Ron in the front, while Pansy, Rachel and Sophie were a few more rows in the back. She straightened in her chair, concentrating on Professor McGonagall.

"Vanishing" the teacher began to write on the board quickly, but still in legible and precise handwriting. "Peculiarities of vertebrates" she added below, in smaller print. She couldn't help but wonder if Pansy was paying attention, she would always gossip with Rachel when the teachers turned their backs... She turned her head a little, and to her surprise, Pansy was writing on her parchment. Happier and calmer, she looked straight ahead again.

"When we try to vanish something, changing its original matter, we find that there are different levels of complexity depending on the element we are working with," McGonagall explained, turning to observe her students. "Can anyone tell me why, in a living being, the skeleton is the most complicated?"

Hermione raised her hand in a blink and the teacher gave her a subtle nod, allowing her to speak.

"Because of the calcium, professor. It is a complicated element to manipulate with magic, that is why potions are almost always used to heal bones."

"Excellent. Five points to Gryffindor."

She smiled proudly, re-holding her pen to continue working. McGonagall continued to write on the board and Hermione copied her words. Yet again, her thoughts were out of her control: now she wondered why Pansy never participated in class. She's not shy and there were things she did know, things she even studied with Hermione in the library, and yet she never raised her hand when a teacher asked.

Looking straight ahead again, she paled. Several new things were written and she hadn't noticed! How long had she been in her own mind? She hurried, writing without concern for neatness; she would rather rewrite her notes later than risk not being able to write it all down.

Hermione had never been such a bad student until now. She could only think of Pansy right now, of her showing her support and offering her help in any questions she had about the magical world, of her smiling flirtatiously with a glass of wine pressed to her lips, of her singing softly... She urged her to finish the class right now! She wanted to be with Pansy, she wanted to be near her, to talk to her. Lately they only got together in the library to study for the OWLs and always with several friends accompanying them, they spent almost all their free time on that.

"Excellent," McGonagall said. "Five points for Slytherin."

Sophie had just answered a question the teacher asked... and she didn't realize she asked anything at all.

"You're very distracted today," Harry observed, not looking at her face so as not to attract McGonagall's attention. Apparently she was not the only one surprised that she had not raised her hand again to answer.

"I'm just... nervous about exams," she lied.

Hermione was beginning to think that Pansy Parkinson was going to be her downfall. And what's worse: she did not care. Or well, not too much, not so much that she wanted to do something to remedy it.

. . .

"I have to talk to Professor McGonagall guys, you can go without me today," Hermione said without getting up from her chair when class ended.

They made a pretense of leaving, but in the end they turned to wait for her.

"Okay? Don't you want us to stay outside until you come out?" Harry hesitated.

"Snake on the prowl," Ron warned, rolling his eyes as he noticed Pansy a few feet from them, walking towards them.

"Ah," Harry snorted with a grimace of amusement. "We lost Hermione then." He turned to get a better look at Ron and proposed, "Do you want to go see if Dobby will give us something in the kitchens? I want to eat chocolate."

"Study more for OWLs or chocolate, what to choose?" He asked in a tone of false doubt.

They smiled in a knowing way, and without waiting even a second, they answered at the same time:

"Chocolate."

"Don't eat too much," Hermione recommended. "Especially you Ron, two days ago you got sick to your stomach."

The aforementioned grumbled, but did not argue. They both walked towards the exit, giving Pansy a quick goodbye as they crossed her in the hall.

"What happened? He looked angry," Pansy asked when she arrived, looking at Ron curiously until he disappeared out the door.

"He doesn't want to accept that his stomach has limits. He says he has a second stomach for sweets."

Pansy chuckled, as she leaned her hips on the desk and crossed her arms to keep talking more comfortably:

"We're going to start the practical part today, right?" And at Hermione's nod, she added, "Then the library is not an option."

"Don't worry, we can go to the patio or the gardens..."

"Yeah, about that..." she murmured, looking down at the ground.

"Ladies," McGonagall called, managing to startle them both.

Hermione looked around, everyone had already left. Only the two of them and the teacher remained.

"Granger, Parkinson," she greeted them as they approached her desk, though she didn't take her eyes off her papers. She moved a few things, unhurriedly. She lined up a scroll by tapping it lightly on the table, then rolled it up with a swift execution of wandless magic. She looked at Pansy and handed her the paper. "If you follow all this to the letter and dedicate many hours to it, I have faith that you will achieve good results in my course, Parkinson."

"Thank you very much Professor."

"Thanks for taking the trouble," Hermione added.

Both students took a step back, to leave. But McGonagall stopped them:

"I have something else," she said, rummaging through her papers again. She held out another scroll to Pansy, who, puzzled, took it gingerly. "A guide similar to the one I just gave you, but for Charms. I took the trouble to ask Professor Flitwick if he could take the time to help you as well."

"Um... Thank you Professor."

"I hope you're responsible about your studies, Parkinson," she warned in a stern tone, and Pansy swallowed. "Professor Flitwick and I took your request seriously and decided to help you, so I assume you will do your best and the results of your OWLs will be satisfactory."

"Sure," Pansy said in a small voice.

"She will, I promise," Hermione joined in.

"In that case, you can go now. Have a nice day."

As they left the Transfiguration room, Pansy let out a heavy sigh that she had been holding back.

"Professor McGonagall makes me nervous," she admitted, as they began to walk.

"Why?" Hermione asked. "She is very kind. Maybe a little serious, but kind."

"Believe me, when she looked into my eyes, I didn't feel kindness at all."

"You're overreacting."

"I think she hates me."

"Pansy," she laughed. "She doesn't hate you."

"Of course she does, since I got together with you, actually."

"What? Why would she hate you for that?"

"Maybe she thinks I'm going to corrupt you," she suggested.

"I doubt it," she dismissed.

"I swear. She is protecting her kittens from the evil snakes."

"That's ridicul..." She stopped, then glared at her. "We are not kittens."

"Of course not," she agreed with an innocent tone and smile.

"I hate you," she muttered, and ignoring Pansy's giggle, added, "Do you think we should study in the gardens? It's nice weather today."

"Oh, about that," she murmured, playing with the ring on one of her hands. "Can't we go somewhere better?"

"Sure, where?" She conceded, though she was puzzled by the uncertain tone with which Pansy spoke.

"There is an empty room we can use, the door is open."

She frowned, suspicious of the Slytherin's intentions.

"We're going to study," she reminded her.

"I know. It occurred to me to use one after seeing the one the Weasley twins had for their things." At Hermione's raised eyebrow, she snorted. "I'm serious we're just going to study!"

"Why there?"

"Because yes," she answered reluctantly.

Hermione crossed her arms, starting to get annoyed:

"You just promised Professor McGonagall that you will study responsibly."

"And I'll do it!" She exclaimed angrily.

She was staring at the wall, her jaw clenched, because Hermione wasn't responding. Pansy uncomfortably tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, but with some harshness. Her actions seemed to blend with her emotions.

"Okay," she relented, seeing what was coming. "It's fine. Sorry for not believing you."

Pansy looked very surprised by her apology, as the spark of anger in her eyes faded.

"Shall we go to the classroom then?" Pansy asked cautiously.

"I'll hit you with a book if you lied to me."

"Fair deal," she agreed with a half smile.

. . .

Just like Pansy said, they entered an abandoned room. It had no curtains so the Sun illuminated the interior smoothly, making it even hotter than other parts of the castle. There were many more cobwebs than she would like and the desks were well laid out, as if they were set up for students to take a class there.

"There's a lot of dust," Hermione remarked, once she closed the door. The table tops were grayish-white.

"I found it before going to Transfiguration class, I didn't have time to try to make it more habitable."

"Why did you try so hard to find an unused room?" I ask.

But Pansy ignored her, walking into the room. She chose one of the tables near the window and cast a spell to clean the dust off it. She spread the Scroll of Transfigurations on the table and winced at the sight of it. With little spirit, she sat down in the chair.

"It's... so long."

"We should start," Hermione resolved, moving closer to her.

They both silently read the first paragraph, but Hermione was distracted. Although this time not because of Pansy, but because the place was a real pigsty. She tried to ignore it, and they went a long way with the text, but it was all so full of dust and cobwebs that...

"Read aloud," she ordered, losing her cool.

"What? Why?" Pansy asked, looking away from the scroll.

"I'll listen to you, while I tidy up the place."

"Do you want to clean all of this now?" She looked at Hermione like she was starting to lose her mind.

"Studying in a cluttered space is not helpful. I'll do it, don't worry, you must learn all that."

"And why do I have to read aloud?"

"So I can help you. In addition, it helps you memorize."

Pansy had no chance to complain again, as Hermione rolled up her sleeves and pulled her wand out. She cleaned the place, trying to be as quiet as possible, so as not to distract her and to be able to listen without difficulty to what she was reading. They worked without major interruptions, each busy with her task. Whenever Pansy finished reading (usually five paragraphs of explanation and tips for technique), she began to try the practical exercises. Sometimes she would get frustrated and say an insult or kick one of the table legs.

When Hermione finished cleaning, Pansy moaned in disgust:

"My back hurts and my throat is already sore from reading to you so much," she complained. "I'm tired."

"Well... you studied an hour straight. I guess it's okay for you to take a break, we just got out of class." She reluctantly relented.

Pansy was sprawled across the table, her eyes closed. She didn't seem to have any intention of doing anything else for the rest of the day.

"It's not that bad, drama princess," Hermione said, once she came closer.

"I'm going to die."

"And today was the first day."

"Is it too late to drop out of my studies?"

Hermione rolled her eyes as she leaned against the desk like it was a wall. For a change, she seemed to be the taller of the two, since Pansy, although she straightened in the seat, remained seated.

"Studying is horrible," she continued.

"But you must," Hermione reminded her.

"It's not fun."

"It's not supposed to be fun."

"Doesn't it amuse you?"

"Well yeah, it's fun for me. I like studying."

"Make it fun for me too."

"You're asking a lot!" She complained, pressing her lips together to contain a smile. "You do not enjoy the same things as me."

"I'm sure we have common ground," she insisted, as a more mischievous smile spread across her lips.

Her eyes fell, catching on Pansy's mouth. Today she was wearing lip gloss, it just made them a little shinier than normal, and it surely moisturized them too.

"No," she refused, adding a stern look when she looked up.

"No what?" She asked with a frown.

"You said we only came here to study."

"I'm on my break!" She defended herself.

"What results did you get? Practicing." Hermione changed the subject.

"Well, terrible. Just as expected."

"What spell?"

"The one in today's class, I can't get it to hold for more than a few seconds. And it's just an object, a feather! It's not even a damn mouse!"

"Let me see the motion you make," she soothed her.

Pansy let out a reluctant sigh, but obeyed. She made the motion and just as she claimed, the object did not stay invisible for more than two seconds, and it was flickering, like a poorly adjusted light bulb. Hermione held onto Pansy's wrist, changing her angle. The Slytherin repeated the spell again, achieving the same result.

"You tense the movement too much, you make it very straight. Keep the wrist like I taught you."

"Well, I'm tense," she growled. "I was doing this stupid thing all day."

"Getting frustrated won't get you anywhere."

Pansy's pale cheeks turned color, but she said nothing more. She repeated the exercise three times.

"You're still tense," Hermione pointed out.

"I know!"

"It's no use getting angry, Pansy."

"Then stop telling me to repeat the spell," she snapped.

Hermione put her hand to her nose, clenching the bridge and mentally counting to compose herself.

"You need to calm down," she said, both to Pansy and to herself.

"I hate this."

"I realize."

"I feel silly."

She gasped indignantly, but suddenly the frustration she was feeling trying to calm Pansy faded to worry. Her voice didn't sound right, she seemed distressed, and Hermione tried to meet her eyes to verify, but she escaped her gaze.

"I knew it wouldn't work out," Pansy murmured.

"It will work out once you practice enough."

"Five years with Transfiguration classes seems little to you? "She asked, raising her voice again. The insecurity was consumed again by anger. "You heard the teacher, I must pass. What if I can't? The OWLs will be in a few weeks. And I still haven't practiced Charms!"

"Pansy," she whispered softly, "I know you can do it."

"At least only you will see me fail and not the whole damn school," she muttered.

Hermione then felt like an idiot. Pansy was only trying to escape prying eyes by coming here, because she was embarrassed to fail in front of others. She remembered the doubts she had earlier. Could it be that she did not participate in classes because of that? It was still hard for her to understand why Pansy felt more insecure about her way of being or thinking than about her looks or relationships. The opposite was the case with Hermione.

"Do you have any idea how wonderful I think you are?" Hermione asked, getting the blush on Pansy's cheeks to reappear, though now it seemed to be from a more positive feeling. "Whether or not the spell comes out, I'm not going to respect you less for that."

"But…"

"I like you a lot. You know?" She stopped her, trying to boost her ego.

"Well, I guessed it, so you think I'm wonderful..." she teased, embarrassed.

Hermione's heart beat a little faster, to see that softer side of Pansy. She did not resist extending her hands to her face. She liked the way the smooth skin felt against her fingers. She caressed her cheek and was lost for a moment in her green eyes, which were brighter than normal because of all the emotions she felt: anger, shame. Had Pansy been about to cry?

She was still standing, so she leaned down, until at last their faces were level. She sighed when their lips met. She had missed kissing Pansy, she loved the feeling of fullness that filled her chest as she did so, she felt like she could comfortably drown under that warmth.

"I love you," Hermione whispered, barely detaching herself from her mouth.

The pleasant tightness in her chest deflated, and became even better, like a sweet tingle that shot through her body, from stomach to throat, escaping with her words. Pansy, on the other hand, stood still for a few seconds, even without breathing. Hermione was about to pull away, to get a better look at her face, to make sure everything was okay, but she stopped when she felt one hand grasp her wrist, and then she felt the other on her neck, caressing it with her fingertips.

"I don't believe that anybody / Feels the way I do about you now" sang Pansy with a half smile.

"Learn another song, it's not worth repeating the same trick all the time," she teased her, letting out a laugh.

"You should show me more music that you like."

She only managed to smile more, since she couldn't think of anything other than how much she loved the girl in front of her. She really liked the way her idea sounded, too. Hermione didn't sing, she didn't like to. Pansy seemed more comfortable with that, although she was far from talented as a singer, she did manage to sound pleasant to the ear. Without a doubt she should show her more Muggle songs, Hermione wanted her to continue singing her favorite songs between kisses and whispers; Right now it seemed like a basic necessity for her life.

During the silence, Pansy decided to try her lips again, rising from her seat. With her free hand, Hermione gripped Pansy's waist tighter, tangling her fingers in her shirt. When she felt her teeth bite her lip, along with a sneering grin that spread pressing against her, she tugged at her clothes, pulling her closer to her body.

"So... on breaks I can do this?" She asked, pulling away from her mouth, but without taking her eyes off it.

Hermione pouted, and it got worse when she felt Pansy draw closer to her; she was getting away with it, Hermione was losing her composure a bit. On top of that, she couldn't go back because of the desk. Though she doubted she'd really wanted to escape, with or without furniture. If she was honest with herself, she liked being close...

"I love you too," Pansy whispered. She had partially hidden her face in Hermione's neck before speaking to her.

She trailed her hand up the curve of her body until she felt the start of Pansy's ribs, then lowered herself, gently grasping her hip.

"I guess this is fine, being able to be alone for a bit," Hermione agreed.

Pansy jerked away, staring at her face with wide eyes, searching for any trace of lies on her face. But she wasn't going to find anything there. Although it sounded weird or inappropriate, Hermione wanted to do more than just study with her.

"After studying," she warned anyway, exams were the priority. "Neither before nor in the middle."

Pansy's smile widened, pleased with the arrangement.

"I knew you could think of a way to make studying fun," she murmured.

"You are very unbearable."

"Wonderful," she corrected her, with a wise voice, "the word is won-der-ful. Not unbearable."

Hermione did not bother to try, she just pulled her skirt again, to bring her closer and be able to kiss her again.

Notes:

CURIOSITY # 5

In Spanish we have two options to say "I love you": "Te quiero" and "Te amo". An "Te quiero" is softer, somewhat more shy. That's what Pansy said in the original. The "Te quiero" is also used for friends, but it is still a cute thing for a couple. When the relationship becomes more serious, they would use the "Te amo".