tw: brief allusions to racism
Blake trudged along the path. Heavy steps brought him to the edge of the lake, the water rippling as it haplessly lapped at the shore. He bent to pick up a rock, angling his toss to make it sail across the top of the water and skip out into the darkness. Footsteps snapped his attention away from his amusement, his eyes turning to catch the source of the disturbance. His eyes fell on Maka, who was starting on the wooded path, slow but steady steps bringing her towards him.
"Maka," he started but paused as his only answer was that haunting song. "Why the hell is she walkin' right before we have our damn meetin'..." Hesitation didn't line his stride as Blake jogged to catch up to her shadow. "Now I gotta follow you, make sure you don't take a dip again," he huffed in annoyance. He chased her footsteps, irritation fading to concern as he saw the soles of her feet rather than the treads of her shoes. "Guess you can't stay outta trouble, huh?"
No answer but the same haunting melody left her lips as she strode forward. It was then that the swooping, chattering nightingales started to weave through the sky, crisscrossing their dives in front of Maka's feet. A few swept at Blake's pant legs, but his feet refused to slow, just keeping in step regardless of their twittering cries. "Get it through your bird-brains that I'm protectin' her too," Blake called out to the watchful eyes that were now staring from the bowers of the willow. "Great, now I'm talkin' to the fuckin' birds," he muttered to himself as they approached the safety of the tree.
Maka wavered, knees swooning slightly at the edge of the bract. Before Blake could reach for her, an eerie trembling aria from the birds split the air as Maka disappeared into the darkness of overhanging branches.
He watched the sky pepper with the tiny bodies, a few downy gray feathers fluttering to the ground around him before he slipped in behind her. Blake barrelled through the bower, pausing only when he found long dark brown curls as a completely different woman stood at the foot of the willow.
"Rhys?" Pale hazel eyes in a beautiful spectrum of honey to green pierced him with silent pleas beyond the name as the woman turned as she turned towards him.
"Nah." Though Blake didn't need to offer the negative as the woman's brow had already begun to furrow in displeasure. "Who the hell are you?"
The woman bit into her lip before spitting with just as much annoyance, "Who the hell are you?"
"Blake Star," he crowed proudly. "And if I'm guessin' right, you took Maka, didn't you? You ain't Kilik's sister and not Viv, so…?"
Her brow furrowed. "She took my locket."
"Ah, so you're the one Soul's grandad was shackin' up with," he chuckled.
"Seren," she corrected harshly. "I'm trying to find Rhys."
"Well, it ain't fair what you're doin' to Maka," Blake let the flat accusation cut through her sadness. "I get it; you want this fixed, but hijackin' her ain't the way."
A stubborn pout came to Seren's lips. "I've waited decades."
"So?" Blake scoffed. "Listen, let her go. I'll tell her what you want, but you give her a little more time. And whatever the hell you thought you were doin', quit it."
Seren's attitude was the last thing to melt away as curls relaxed and lightened to straight blonde, eyes deepening in their verdancy and freckles sinking back into creamy skin. Blake was quick to act as her eyes closed, hands coming to her elbows to keep her on her feet. Her now lightened lashes fluttered back open to unveil wide eyes. "Blake?"
"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?" He steadied her with a laugh. "You think you can stand?"
"Yeah," Maka murmured weakly as she pulled one of her arms out of his hold to rub a hand over her face. Her brain was nothing more than static fuzz while her skin needled with an odd warmth. "What happened?"
"What's the last thing you remember?" Blake tentatively released the other arm, watching her waver only slightly before staying on her feet.
"I opened the drawer…" I wanted to look at the shell. I wanted to think about Viv for a little and try to figure out how I ruined everything. The glum reality was tugging at her heart as Soul's angry face flashed over her mind. "I didn't actually go for the locket but Seren-"
"Is a bitch," Blake cackled. "I mean, who just steals somebody's body? I told her to cut it out, but she seems hell-bent on seein' Rhys."
Maka threw weak hands up. "How the hell am I supposed to do that? I barely know when I'm channeling her, so how am I supposed to add another ghost?"
"Well…" Blake rolled his eyes practically out of his head. "There's this guy- Soul- he's that guy's grandson, who maybe-"
"I can't ask him to do anything!" she burst as her fingers slid into her hair, trying to pull at the roots to quell the idea of tears.
Blake heaved a sigh as his hands came to her elbows to pull her away from the pain. "You guys have a fight?"
No matter how much she willed it away, her eyes flooded. "Blake-" Maka let a feral groan leave her mouth as she ripped her arms away from him. "Why?" she accused the air as her eyes blinked out the first glistening lines over her cheeks. "Why can't I have anything without ruining it? I try to make it perfect and all I do is just make it crumble to nothing! I did it with Soul- I did it with Mama!" The horrible reality burned on her tongue, loosening another mournful cry from her lips.
"Hey." Blake grappled with her, letting her fight until she stood still, his hands easy but comfortingly firm on her arms. Each syllable cut sharply as he spelled it out for her, "What happened with your mama wasn't your fault."
She shook her head defiantly. "No, I-"
"No," Blake blared back. "What happened with your mama wasn't your fault." This was no longer calm, a strange tight seething tremor running under each word. "And what's happenin' with Soul isn't the same thing. He's not gonna abandon you." His fingers tensed, waiting for her resistance. When she showed none, he pulled her closer, meeting her eye to eye. "'Specially since I told him I'm feedin' him to the gators if he hurts you."
Maka refused to smile but at least the tears had started to dry at the corners of her eyes.
"Now listen," he muttered before sighing. "She's gonna keep doin' what she wants until she gets what she wants. Soul can either get you somethin' of his grandfathers, or- who the fuck knows. Maybe Rhys and him are so much alike that they can swap."
"He does look a lot like his grandfather," Maka murmured as her eyes trailed away, trying not to let Seren's memories rush forward.
"So we just dye his hair," Blake chuckled. "Think he'll go for it?"
Maka shrugged weakly but a smidge of a smile started at the corner of her mouth.
Blake heaved a breath before he released her to shove a hand in his pocket. "Well, let's get goin'. I'm pretty sure the girls are already here, and I doubt Kilik's that far behind." He snatched her hand, starting the walk with her trailing only slightly behind. "If you want, I'll go get him."
"No," Maka barely gave enough strength to her voice to have it sound over their footsteps.
"No, you don't want, or no, because you're too miserable to think he'll come runnin' if you asked?" Blake tossed that over his shoulder, his eyes not bothering to turn to find the look on her face he was already expecting.
Maka offered only a sour smile and steady silence.
"He would, you know- come runnin' that is." Blake squeezed her hand in his.
"Stop trying to make me cry," Maka muttered.
"Can't help it- you're just a big baby." He shrugged with a throaty laugh. "And can't help it that he is what he is- a guard dog, and sorta in love with you." Blake dropped her hand. He didn't have to speed his steps to leave her behind since Maka's feet stuck at the words.
Loves me. She tried to rip the word from her mind and any sort of residual from her heart. How could he say that so easily? Like it was obvious? As if Soul would ever- would ever even say something like that or- she hesitated, touching at her pocket to find her phone missing. Why does it matter… as if I'd take it out and ask him. As if I'd have the nerve. As if he'd even answer my call.
The books were strewn across the kitchen table, but Maka could feel their eyes on her, tender glances in reply to the obvious absence in the room.
"Where's Soul?" Patty chimed as soon as she slipped into the chair next to Maka.
Maka's glance at Kilik's face across from her told her that the same question had been sitting on his tongue.
"Well, it's not like he has to be here." Liz waved off the name with all the disinterest she could muster.
"Doesn't have to," Kilik murmured, "but should. Especially since if we're talking about Chi, we're probably gonna talk about Viv."
"I didn't-" Call him, text him, try him because after my last little tearful bout what else can I do? I already told him it's up to him- his forgiveness is his to give and only if he really wants to give it.
Patty's hand crept over Maka's on the table. "If you give me your phone, I can call him."
"Don't bother," Kilik sighed as he stood up from the table.
"What-" Maka started.
"I'll be back in a bit." Kilik shot over his shoulder as he moved towards the kitchen door.
He was out on the steps before any of them could voice displeasure and continued striding out into the sunlight on the lawn. Nothing impeded his steps, bringing him quickly to the pristine white house that held such ironic darkness. He contemplated his phone, tapping it through his pant leg before moving the tentative finger to the doorbell instead. The silence of the house was suddenly broken by footsteps, and not the small pitter-patter he expected. Instead, it was slow and steady until the door opened, showing the older version of the man he was looking for.
"Oh, Kilik," Wes's voice displayed his shock just as much as his eyebrows.
"Hey, sorry to intrude-"
"No- no intrusion." Wes was quick to open the door and wave Kilik into the foyer. "Did Soul call you?"
"No, just-" Kilik cut himself off with a bitter laugh. "Maka's one step away from crying at the mention of his name, so I assume he's just about in the same boat."
Wes's welcoming smile fizzled away with a sigh. "Something happened, yes, but as you can imagine, he hasn't been entirely forthcoming."
"Can't imagine he would be," Kilik forced the humor. "But you spoke to him?"
"I tried," Wes huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Kilik hesitated, uneasily tilting on his heels. "What's 'tried' mean, Wes?"
He studied Kilik, suddenly adopting the air of his brother as he moved his hands to his pockets but still caught the other man's glare. "We talked about Vivienne, about forgiving ourselves for what happened and moving forward. I-" Wes interrupted himself with a bitter sigh. "I told him I would try to be a better brother to him and a real father to Reginald."
Kilik broke into a grin. "Alright, Wes, way to go."
Wes shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "Congratulating me-"
"Is well deserved," Kilik butted in with a laugh. "C'mon, the two of you haven't said two constructive, consecutive sentences to each other since she died, and I don't see you with a blackeye so it must have gone well."
"Soul would never swing a punch." Wes tried to chuckle it off but the amusement drifted away from Kilik's face.
"At you," Kilik corrected. "Because he still loves you, Wes. If he lost that, though- well, I think he's just as apt to scrap as I am." He hitched a thumb towards the stairs. "He up there?"
"In his room." Wes nodded somberly. "He hasn't been out all day. Even sent Reginald away."
"Sure does know how to pout." Kilik started to turn but he caught the tail end of Wes's rumbling laugh, making him pause on the stairs. He turned back towards the other man, letting his smile inch back across his face. "Seriously, Wes, what you did- it's exactly what he needs. The more we tell him it's OK to live his life- give him that permission- the closer he's going to get to it."
Wes took a breath to refuse any flutter of pride in his chest. "Why can't he just do it without our blessing?"
Kilik shrugged that off easily. "He'll get there. We just have to get those two back together first."
"Do your best."
He nodded before continuing up the stairs. It had only been once or twice he'd walked these halls but the sadness seemed to drift aimlessly from behind the only closed door, leading him easily to his quarry. Kilik didn't bother to knock, not surprised by only the white hair evident above the comforter. "I get it, Wes," Soul grumbled. "But jus' lemme stay in bed for today."
"No," Kilik barely stopped himself from marring the seriousness with a laugh.
Soul shot up, the blanket tumbling off of him as he turned quickly towards Kilik. "What-"
"I was at Maka's." Kilik managed to get the words out and two steps before Soul collapsed with a huff back into the sheets. "Nah, nah, nah," he scolded as he grabbed the blankets to expose the other man cursing under his breath. "C'mon, I'm not leaving until you talk about it."
"Nothin' to talk 'bout," Soul muttered before shoving his head into the pillow, hoping the loss of air would be a temporary fix. Instead, he felt that familiar hand grasp his shoulder, pulling him back into the fresh air. "Kilik, I fucked up."
"Shocker." Kilik chuckled as he rolled Soul onto his back. Red eyes stared up with as much apathy as they could muster. "You didn't put your foot in your mouth too much- she seems more sad than anything."
In a flash, the indifference melted away as a grimace planted firmly on his face. "She should be angry."
"Not thinking that's the case." Kilik shook his head firmly to punctuate, watching as that further tore away Soul's mask, leaving him to do nothing but sigh in reply. "I know your mama tried to force you into that shit with Clara, and I'm guessing Halloween didn't end up very romantic after the kitchen incident, but… look, Wes said you two talked, so I'm hoping that means he told you Lenora can't use Reggie as a bargaining chip."
Soul nodded weakly.
"At least he got that right." Kilik finally relaxed his fingers, letting the sheets drift back into Soul's clutches. He allowed his grin to come alive, leaning back on the bed with his arms to prop him up. "So, you probably don't know this, but that's when you're supposed to go over there, apologize for whatever you might have said to hurt her, and kiss her after she agrees to forgive you."
Instead of mirroring the amusement from the advice, Soul planted a hand over his eyes as he pulled in a slow breath. "It ain't that simple."
"Why?" Kilik nudged Soul's side with his knee. "How badly did you lose your temper?"
"Bad," he muttered. "'cept that ain't it either."
"Look, if it's still your mama- you can come stay with us for a while. Chi's room's open and all you'll have to do is put up with Mama ribbing you every five minutes, but-" Kilik stopped the jovial ramble as Soul's lip started to tremble under his hand. "Hey, c'mon, man, it's OK-" He placed a hand on Soul's shoulder just in time to feel it tremble with the sob he was trying to suppress in vain.
"She wanted to show me Viv," Soul hissed out between tightly drawn teeth, trying to keep the wounded bray at bay. "And I tol' 'er no- I can't. I'm a coward 'cause I can't face my mistake and I can't stand the idea of Maka seein' what I've done. I-" he stuttered over the vowel, pulling in a painful breath before continuing, "I know bein' a teenager and bein' an asshole're practically the same thing, but I jus' can't- I can't forgive myself so how the hell can I expect Viv to forgive me?"
"Soul," Kilik eased out his name on the back of a heavy sigh. "Yeah, you were an asshole, and you still can be when you really want to. You've even been an asshole to Maka, remember? But no matter what, it seems like she finds her way back to you. You're not perfect- she knows that, and I don't think she expects that." He slapped a hand to Soul's cheek before rubbing away the sting and his tears. "And goddamnit, Soul, it was just a few months of you acting out in your pain. For one second, can't you accept that you've spent the last five years making up for that? It's enough. It's really enough."
His fingers slipped from his eyes, the agony and the fear shining bright as a polish ruby. "Kilik, do you think she'd say that? Do you think Viv'd look me in the face and say it was fine?"
Kilik pulled in a painful breath to feed the whispering words, "In a second. Viv would take one look at how you've raised her son and she'd know just how much you loved her."
A gurgling choke rattled up from Soul's chest as he pressed his hand back over his eyes. "I dunno- dunno- I can't-"
"You can," Kilik pressed back as his hand moved over the top of Soul's. "It's time. You don't have to face Viv- see Viv but you have to start accepting that you don't have to live your life being punished for one moment. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or next week, but sometime soon you're gonna have to realize you're worth it. Wes thinks so, I think so… and so does Maka." He peeled Soul's fingers away, getting a view of those bleary red eyes again. "And it doesn't have to be today or tomorrow, but you have to talk to her."
Soul nodded weakly as his lip continued to wrinkle in misery.
"I'm gonna hold you to that." Kilik chuckled softly as he smeared more tears off of Soul's cheeks. "She misses you."
"Stop tryin' to make me feel better," he muttered in return, eyes closing to avoid the smile starting on Kilik's face.
"Actually trying to make you feel worse." Kilik brought his hands back to his lap, rubbing off the wayward tears on his jeans. "We're supposed to be having a meeting of our little ghost crew and without you there, I gotta say it's pretty pathetic."
"First job should be thinkin' of a better name." Soul managed a weak smile as he cleared away the remaining shine on his cheeks. "And I'm sure Blake livened the party jus' fine without me."
Kilik shrugged. "Opposite. Technically, he didn't say a word."
"What an asshole." Soul heaved a sigh as he rolled over onto his side. "You get to talkin' 'bout Chi?"
"Wanted to come here first…" His head tipped to the side, a lopsided smile striking his face. "Guess I was putting it off myself. What happened in the kitchen… Maka said it was when Chi's 'fate was sealed,' but she also said it was Justin who killed her so how do those two go together? How does taking some pill make Justin want her dead?"
"Dr. Delacroix." Soul set that firmly against the pillow, any sadness drifting away from his eyes with determination. "Somethin' Wes said's been botherin' me, and now maybe I don't think I'm so crazy anymore- about Delacroix bein' in the house the night Viv died."
Kilik's brow wrinkled. "What did Wes say?"
"That Viv was sick." Soul's eyes moved away from Kilik, catching the memory in the back of his mind of his brother's pained face, the drawn look of a man who'd lost his love. "She was takin' pills that Delacroix gave 'er- or Wes said she wasn't and that was the problem. Look, I know Stein found nothin' in the ones she gave Maka, but what if he didn't know what he was lookin' for? Or what if there was some kinda mistake 'cause Delacroix sent Crona to Maka's room-"
"What?" The other man snapped upright, his eyes widening. "Crona doesn't even know Maka."
"They've gotten pretty well acquainted since," Soul muttered bitterly as he found time to nurse that corner of jealousy in his heart.
"Turning a little green there," Kilik teased.
Soul huffed a heavy breath. "Ain't like I can tell 'er who to be friends with, but… snakes don't give birth to anythin' but snakes, and his mama is a goddamn adder." The amusement didn't fade from Kilik's face and Soul found himself faltering, crumbling into further disarray. "Fine. I'm jealous. I saw 'em holdin' hands the other night on 'er porch and I can't get it outta my head."
"Holding hands- that's like third base for you, huh?" Kilik nudged his side, receiving a frustrated grunt in reply. "But he was in her room before they got friendly enough to hold hands?"
"Yeah, snoopin' for that pill bottle she'd thrown in the trash." Soul finally gave up on the bed, tilted up on his elbow until he pushed to sit up. "And we both know it ain't a coincidence Crona works at the pharmacy. Makes it easy pickin's to mess with what goes into anythin' his mama orders."
"Chi wasn't getting meds from Delacroix though," Kilik mumbled thoughtfully.
"But Justin could," Soul broke through Kilik's wonderings as his voice turned colder, "or Viv, and both of 'em were close enough to 'er."
Kilik started with venom on his tongue, "Justin and Chi-"
"Happened." Soul stabbed the word sharply through Kilik's. "Blond, blue-eyed. I know it ain't all that rare, but you think'a who she was around, and Justin-"
"Wasn't-" Agony stirred in his chest, the words splintering in his throat as he tried to expel them. It couldn't be him. Justin just- he's just not who Chi would be with!
"We don't know." Those words were dull, the knife already dug deep into Kilik's chest. "But a preacher fatherin' some children without bein' married and… with how the town is 'bout mixin'," Soul muttered sourly. "Jus' didn't peg Justin to be the type- quiet, a little strange, but you could prolly say the same about me."
Kilik's laugh in reply was bitter on his tongue. "Then again, Justin isn't cursed."
"Sure coulda fooled me." Soul leaned closer, hands splaying between them as if to display the thought in his palms. "We all know what Henry did- talk'a the town before Viv. Then Maka adds on to it that it was Edward, his grandfather, who had 'er great-grandma burned alive. If that ain't a family that's been cursed…" he trailed off with a half-hearted shrug. "So maybe it's what I said before: snakes don't give birth to anythin' but snakes. Crona, Justin-"
"And you?" Kilik offered with a languishing sigh. "Not that I want to stand up for Justin, but we could say the same thing about you. I don't want to say I don't believe Maka, but… none of it seems to make sense."
"That's why she's gotta spend more time as Chi and-" His fingers tensed into fists, trying to concentrate on the strength of his hands while his heart faltered. "-Viv. Maka needs to walk as Viv again."
The concentration softened on Kilik's face as he reached for Soul's clenched fingers. "You sure about that?"
"No," Soul laughed bitterly. "I ain't sure in the least, but… Maka said Viv and Chi were the two times she felt sick and we need to find out if that means what happened to 'em was the same. 'Cause if it was the same pills, if it was somethin' with Dr. Delacroix or Justin or whoever else is in on this- it could mean that Viv-" The words splintered in his throat but he swallowed down the pain long enough to force the rest, "Maybe that means Viv didn't kill 'erself."
Kilik only ran his thumb over Soul's knuckles, letting that settle into a silence between them.
Soul filled it with a few breaths before whispering, "You do too much for me as it is, but you think you could tell 'er that for me? And- please jus' watch over 'er if she does that."
"Well, I'm part of the gang, right?" Kilik gave the top of his hand one more squeeze before releasing him and leaning towards his feet. "I'll watch her, so will Blake. But that's temporary, right?"
He nodded silently in reply.
"Fine." Kilik rose to his feet, taking a slow look around the room before honing in on Soul again. "But get the hell outta bed, OK? It's alright to be sad, but this is just dramatic." He added a jovial laugh before turning on his heels and starting for the door.
Soul let him get a hand on the knob before he called, "Hey, Kilik."
"Yeah?" He paused but didn't turn.
"I think Wes is tryin' too," Soul started softly before he cleared his throat. "Like maybe both of us're gonna start livin' again, doin' what we want to do."
Now he threw his head over his shoulder, wrinkling an eyebrow. "OK?"
"I'm jus' sayin'..." Soul flicked his wrist, mixing the air as if he could stir up the words.
Kilik blinked slowly as his eyebrows raised. "Soul Evans, since when do you not mind your own business?"
"I am," Soul scoffed. "I only said it 'cause maybe with all this talk'a me and Wes maybe you should consider yourself too. If I'm worth it, so are you. And if- you know- if Wes is still-" He struggled until he gave up with a shrug.
"You think I'm still pining over your brother?" He flashed a smirk before turning his attention back towards the door to open it. "Amazing how the guy who can't even kiss the girl he likes is trying to give me love advice." Kilik tossed that over his shoulder as he exited, closing the door on any of Soul's mutterings. He allowed a laugh at Soul's expense as he started down the stairs, feet a step away from the marble just as the voice caught him.
"How did it go?"
Kilik turned, eyes meeting the man who always sat at the back of his mind when talking to Soul. "Time will tell, won't it? I think he's on his way, but you know how he likes to sabotage himself."
Wes chuckled as he inched closer, hand coming to the banister to lean. "Unfortunately, I can't say you're wrong. Let's just hope Maka keeps to her stubborn nature and refuses to let him."
A short laugh was all Kilik could offer. While the meeting left behind was calling to him in the back of his mind, he found himself stuck in molasses at the foot of the stairs.
Wes cleared his throat before letting a tentative smile break his lips. "You've been a good friend to him, Kilik. I know it's not really my place, but thank you."
Kilik shrugged. "What friends are for, right? And if you honestly want to thank me, you can be there for him too. Today was a good start, but he needs you, Wes. Always has."
"I meant what I said." Wes treaded lightly with his words. "I don't expect Soul to be the only one making strides, changing. I want that as well."
The weight of the breath that left him rattled his ribs, but Kilik pulled in another so his words sounded something close to firm. "Soul said something about that- getting our lives back. So I was thinking… you haven't been to Sable's since Chi died."
"What- you're still bussing tables?" Wes's smirk mimicked Soul's just without half the toothiness.
Kilik snorted a laugh, "Nah, just turns out to be my kind of place."
Wes's eyebrows popped upwards for only a moment before he restrained them, his grin slipping away as he tried to push back on that wisp of a feeling.
"I was planning on being there Saturday." He paused for an uncollected breath as he cracked a knuckle out of pure nervous habit. "You know, living a little like Soul suggested. Maybe you'd like to do the same."
His features pulled tight, echoing a mask Kilik had seen on Soul's face many times before. "Join you?"
"Yeah, Saturday. Around nine." Another knuckle cracked as punctuation.
A breathy laugh left Wes as his smile broke through the stone, his eyes trailing away to his hand as it tapped at the banister. "You're sure about that?"
"To be honest, Wes," Kilik let a throaty chuckle break his words for a moment before continuing, "I'm not so good at being sure about a damn thing when you're around."
A momentary flash of contentment tugged the corner of his grin. Wes ran a hand through his hair, entirely unaware of how that anxious motion only tortured Kilik. "I really thought… for a moment, I really thought you'd made a mistake."
Kilik couldn't risk a step closer, instead finally making the turn towards the door to hide the smile that was starting. "Sometimes you're just as oblivious as your brother."