Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie.
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down.
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know it's never simple, never easy,
Never a clean break. No one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe without you
But I have to.
-"Breathe" by Taylor Swift
A/N: I'm sorry my writing is so dramatic, but I just love angst
Goldenfightergirl- Don't worry, this chapter will clear things up!
JanaDowneyEvans- I understand your pain, I had tears too
May 18, 2018
As I began to gain consciousness, I squinted at the natural light in the sky. I didn't know how long I was out, but I could hear voices around me. I pushed myself up and looked around. Soon all my senses were heightened and my body filled with fear as I witnessed people fading into dust. People from the Wakandan army, falling in their place into a pile of ash all around me. I didn't understand. I couldn't move for what felt like an hour. Suddenly I heard Steve's voice.
"MADDI!" I heard from a distance. My eyes shot in the direction of the sound. Over by the forest I was previously fighting in, I heard my name again. I stood up as quickly as I could and began running that way.
"Steve," I tried to yell, my own voice felt far away too. Soon I saw him. I called out again and he turned, finally hearing me. The relief on his face was so sudden, it looked like it knocked the wind out of him. He didn't even say my name again, he just sprinted faster than I ever saw towards me. Within barely a few seconds, he had his arms wrapped around me. We fell to our knees holding each other. His hand held the back of my head firmly against him.
"I thought, I thought you were, I-" he tried to say and I spoke up.
"I'm here, I'm here," I said. "Steve, what happened? What's happening?"
He pulled back slightly and looked into my eyes. So much pain flooded his own, so much loss. I put my hand on his cheek. We lost. I could tell, just by looking into his eyes I knew. I couldn't wrap my head around what that meant though.
"Half of all life," he whispered. "That's what he wanted." I looked down and frowned. That didn't sound right. How could that be possible? But watching the people in the field just disappear before my eyes before, I knew it was. It was possible.
"Margaret," I said so softly, I didn't even hear myself.
"What?" Steve asked.
"Margaret," I said again slightly louder, looking up at him. "Steve, we… we have to find Margaret," I could barely say it. My entire body clenched in fear. I couldn't even think about the possibility. I had to find my baby. I had to see for myself that she was okay. Steve's own fear on his face reflected mine. He nodded once, and he pulled me up to stand next to him. He grabbed my hand and led me back to the others. I made no effort to talk or lead in any way. I would follow him until he took me to our baby. I could not talk until she was in my arms again.
He spoke with Okoye, King T'Challa was nowhere to be seen. She said he was gone, I couldn't think about how many more were gone with him. I had to focus on Margaret. Once I had her, then I could cry for the others. She took us to the safe room that would have the Queen, our baby, and anyone keeping them safe. Steve held my hand tightly the entire way there, neither of us capable of saying a word.
We made it to a small room, but it couldn't be the right room. The Queen was not there. Margaret was not there. There was only one woman there.
"Where's my baby? Where's Margaret?" I managed to say. I looked between the two kingsguard in the room and the looks on the women's faces told a story I did not want to hear. "Where is my baby?" I repeated more clearly.
"Queen Ramonda was holding her, when they both. The baby first and then the Queen," the woman already in the room said to us three. She continued to speak to Okoye. As soon as I knew what she meant, I pushed myself out of Steve's arms. I had to get out of there. I needed a room that wasn't so enclosing. I needed some sort of fresh air. I couldn't breath. I heard Steve's voice but I didn't hear what he said as I ran out the room. I kept running. I ran until I somehow made it outside.
I fell to my knees on the concrete floor and I screamed. I yelled and I screamed and I yelled until I couldn't hear my own voice anymore. I didn't know when Steve showed up next to me, but he held me in his arms as I cried and screamed some more.
My poor baby. I should have been with her. I should have been holding her. It should have been me instead.
A/N: So good news is, Maddi is alive! Sorry for trying to fool you all there. But the bad news truly is heartbreaking. Not gonna lie, I cried while writing this chapter. I felt all of Maddi's pain, it was hard to convey that pain through words, so I hope I did it justice. This chapter was short because I wanted to focus it all on just this one moment. Let me know your thoughts! I've been planning this out for so long, you do not know how happy I am to finally get to share it with you. Sorry for the angst galore to come, but at least we all know happy days will eventually be here. But that won't be for quite a while…
This TS song "Breathe" is pretty well encompassing for how Maddi is feeling. She can't breathe, she can't live without her daughter, but she has to now.
(Also I know a lot of other fics have done this where the OC loses their kid in IW, and I went back and forth between the ideas of who to dust and who to keep. But ultimately, this is what works best for what I have planned during the blip and after.)