A/N: I really just wanted to post this chapter now instead of waiting until it was closer to the weekend. You can all thank eliiesmeow for this chapter. She's the reason it went the way it did. I was aiming for just the usual angst but she convinced me this needed to happen. I'm really excited about the next few chapters. I hope you all like it! Thank you for all of your support and love! I really appreciate it. 3
Chapter Forty
Dauntless awaits like a physical manifestation of my fears. I have not seen Eric since his last appearance in my parent's home. The memory of his bruised hands lingers in my mind. A stark reminder that I am the cause of more death. Just as I will be in the future.
I cannot stop Jeanine.
I did not sleep the night she informed me of everything. My mind raced, trying to find some possibility, some way to stop her. There is none. If I attempt to bring it to light in Erudite, no one will believe me. The faction adores Jeanine. Any other faction will likely hold that same disbelief, aside from Candor. I cannot go to Candor though. I am well aware of their liberal use of truth serum. The role I have played in an attempt to gain my safety has led to the deaths of others. Jeanine has also worked hard to promote and induce fear of Divergents. If they found out what I was...it will all have been for nothing. Candor believes in merciless justice. I will find no sanctuary there.
Eric stands at the door, arms crossed, as we arrive. My heart pounds as I open the door. Eric's hands come to my waist, helping me down before I can even make an attempt to do so on my own. They linger slightly before he removes them.
"Amelia," he greets. "No more problems?" His eyes meet mine. The look is intense. I try not to react. He is goading me with the reminder of what happened to Riley.
"None," I say. I give a pointed look around at the others in the area.
He glances around before he grabs my arm. "Come." I am given no choice but to follow. We do not move far, but he pushes me back until we are hidden behind some boxes. He cages me in against the wall. Of course, he has found an alcove where the others cannot see us. My heartbeat picks up as the nerves flutter in my chest. I cannot stop the fear but I can make an attempt to ignore it.
"Have there been any other complications regarding the room?"
"None," he parrots back. "Unfortunately, I can't stay long. Once I lead you to the room, I have to leave you. The initiates this year are unimpressive and I need to keep an eye on Four. I'll be back before you leave."
"Unimpressive?" I ask. "In what way?"
"One threw himself into the chasm. While some show promise, there's a stiff who might be someone Jeanine is looking for. I've already informed her."
A lump in my throat grows. Of course, there is another one.
His hand reaches up and rests against the side of my neck. His thumb strokes my cheek. My breath catches as he leans forward. His forehead touches mine.
"You sure you're okay?" His voice is surprisingly soft. I haven't heard him sound like this since the last time I was in his bed. He told me I was safe there. There cannot be safety in the arms of a killer though.
"I am fine," I say.
"Don't lie to me, Amelia."
"I am," I stress. "I just need to get back to work."
His other arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into him. My hands move to his chest automatically. I cannot deny that it is tempting to give into him even with everything he represents. He offers so much that I cannot take.
He moves his forehead away from mine and instead moves to bury his face in my hair, despite it being pulled back.
"Eric…"
"Don't."
His nose brushes my cheek and I feel myself still. His lips move against my skin before he kisses me. It is so easy to kiss him back. The feeling of his mouth against mine centres me in an alarming way. His grip tightens as he pulls me closer against him.
"Eric," I try to say.
"No," he mutters before kissing me again. It takes me a moment before I can break the kiss.
"They are steps away. We cannot-"
"Just one fucking minute," he says. His mouth moves to my neck.
"Wait." I cannot stop myself from leaning back, giving him more room. "Eric, please. Not here."
He pulls back. "No one's going to say a fucking word," he promises.
"That is not the issue. Please, I need to work and it would be remarkably easier to do so if I did not have to concern myself with more rumours in Erudite."
His jaw clenches. "Fine." Despite his words, he kisses me quickly again. "Let's go." He stops for a moment and smirks. "Fix your hair."
I scowl at him before trying to feel how much he messed it up. It is not easy while trying to hold the tablet. He grabs it from me. Thankfully it isn't too out of place. Eric watches as I fix it before finally handing me the tablet back.
The truck is empty when we get back and the others are gone.
"They're in the room already. Come on."
Eric's hand lingers on the small of my back as we walk. Thankfully, it does not remain once we reach the room. He does not follow me in, just closes the door behind me to attend to their initiation. The other Erudite who accompanied me are already at work. They glance up as I arrive but quickly turn back to their tasks.
It is the first time in a long while that I am alone in this room without Eric watching my every move. I cannot take direct action against Jeanine but there are other small measures that I can choose. At the very least, someone might be warned.
I move for one of the terminals that is already connected and running. All it takes is an unimpressed look for the others to move away, leaving me to my own devices. My position at Erudite grants me this at least.
It takes a few moments before I find the code that I helped create. It is not my specialty, but I can recognize enough of it. I just need to edit a small part. The code has already been approved and held up to the standards of Erudite. They are unlikely to look closely now.
I type quickly, trying to find the exact areas that I can use.
"Ms. Elswood?"
I look up at the voice. One of the technicians is standing near, waiting for permission to approach. Usually, they approach without waiting. My look must be more effective than I imagined it would be. "Yes?" I ask.
"Your typing speed is impressive," the man says.
"It is," I agree. "It took practice." I do not have the time to cater to their desires for advancement in their position. I need them to stay away. I stand up, surprising the man. "Let me make it clear," I call out. Everyone turns to look at me. "I am in the process of doing quality checks on the work done here. I will be reporting back to Jeanine. If I find anything insufficient, the person responsible will be providing the explanation for the deficiencies to Jeanine herself." That prompts all of them into moving quickly and turning away from me, desperate not to draw any negative attention. I sit back down and return to my own work. Hopefully, I can finish this quickly.
I feel his stare before I even realize he is back in the room. I quickly close the program. It is not much but something should slip through.
"What are you working on?"
I look up as Eric approaches. "Final adjustments." I look around quickly. "Have you finished already?"
"It's been hours," he says.
I blink. "Has it?"
"Yes, come with me."
"Why?" I ask carefully. "I am supposed to return to Erudite."
He looks at me carefully. "There are many things you're supposed to do, aren't there?" He glances around quickly before looking back at me. "Your signature is required for your visit to our medical centre."
I pause. I do not know the process of their medical centre. I do not know if a signature is actually something that is required or if he is using it as an excuse to remove me from this area. The only problem is that I am unsure if it is because he wants to kiss me again or if he will threaten me. I still have not given him the days he asks for.
"Now, Amelia."
I try to hold back on giving him a dark look at his demand. I feel as though I have been stretched thin and my control is tenuous at best. I stand up. "Make this quick."
"That depends on you," he says. "Let's go."
I follow Eric out of the room. He does not lead me anywhere near the exit nor the infirmary. Instead, he opens a familiar door and I walk into his office. He closes the door behind us and I turn to him.
"Why am I here, Eric?"
He moves closer. "You need to eat."
That is not what I am expecting. "What?"
He motions to the desk. "You've been here for hours, Amelia. I was there when the doctor gave you orders. You need to eat."
I glance at the plate on the desk before I look back at him. "I do not think the doctor meant cake when they said it."
He smirks. "It's food." His amusement fades as I do not move. "Just eat the fucking cake, Amelia."
I cannot stop my frown. He is positioned in the doorway. I am stuck in the room until he moves. "Very well." I look around for a chair but there is only one and it is behind his desk. He watches me carefully as I go and sit behind his desk. It feels vastly uncomfortable. I do not belong here.
Eric's gaze turns intense as I slide the plate towards me. I try to ignore him as I take the first bite. The taste of chocolate explodes in my mouth. I had forgotten how good it tastes. Eric steps up to the desk and places his hands on it, leaning forward.
My eyes close automatically as I take another bite. I had not managed to eat the last one Eric had given me. I regret that now. I cannot stop myself from letting out a low moan at the taste.
"Fuck."
My eyes snap open. I forgot that Eric is there. His pupils are blown and he's closer than before. My breath catches in my throat.
"Take another bite," his voice is low.
I swallow tightly. "I should get back to work."
"Amelia," he reaches up and grabs the fork from me. He uses it to scoop up another piece and offers it to me.
I should not be doing this. It is oddly intimate. I have not forgotten the blood on his hands but I can see the heat in his eyes. It feels like giving in. That does not stop me from leaning forward and taking the bite.
I watch Eric carefully as I move back and swallow. The taste of chocolate lingers before Eric wraps a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me closer. He kisses me hard.
His lips move against mine, demanding more. I cannot help but let him in. All the panic and the fear are pushed back by the feeling of him. He breaks the kiss.
"Come here."
"Eric…" I breathe. "We should-"
He moves around the desk until he's standing next to me. He yanks me to my feet before shoving back the plate on the desk. He lifts me and sits me down on the desk. He shoves my skirt up before stepping between my legs.
"You're not listening," I say.
"I don't care, Amelia. You're just going to say the same shit as always. I told you, it's you and me. Accept it." He kisses me again. His hand moves to the back of my head and his fingers dig into my hair.
I clutch at the collar of his jacket. There is a part of me that wishes it is as easy as he claims it is. I can pretend for a moment if only to stop thinking.
Eric's hand slides up my thigh under my skirt. The heat of his hand on my bare skin raises goosebumps. He pulls back for a moment to move my hand and shrug off his jacket. He leans back in. I look up to see him watching me. There's something in his expression that I cannot place but I've seen it before.
"What-" I am cut off as his mouth meets mine. The kiss turns deeper, almost desperate as he yanks me closer against him. My legs wrap around his waist automatically. I am torn between wanting to push him away and needing him closer. I just want to stop thinking.
I slide a hand up under his shirt and drag my nails across the muscles of his stomach. They contract under my touch. Eric groans against my mouth. He bites on my lip before pulling it into his mouth for a moment, trying to soothe the sting.
I break the kiss, moving to his jaw and then his neck. Curious, I drag my teeth across his tattoos. His hips bucks against mine.
"Playing dirty?" his voice is low.
I don't answer. I pull him closer, my hands against his skin. I need more. I kiss him hard. Eric is eager as he deepens the kiss. One of his hands is pulling out my shirt from where it is tucked into my skirt.
"You're wearing too much," he murmurs against me.
"Don't rip it," I plead. I need to be able to walk out of here. I push him back and it's only when I reach for my own buttons that he really moves. I open my shirt quickly. There is no moment to feel exposed. Despite Eric's gaze, he wastes no time before his mouth is on my skin. I can feel him hardening against me as he rocks his hips against mine.
"No marks," I say.
"I won't leave any visible," he shoots back.
He kisses my neck and I feel myself arching into him. My eyes close as one of his hands pushes down my bra, exposing my breast. He cups it before pinching my nipple. I cannot stop the slight yelp I make but I can feel Eric smirk against my skin. I reach between us, cupping him as well as I can through his pants. His hips jerk as I slowly rub. If he wants to play games, I will not be the only one suffering in them.
"Fuck, Amelia," he groans. His hand wraps around my waist before he pushes me to lie back against the desk. He pauses for a moment, just staring as I lay pinned beneath him. "Like you like this," he says.
I cannot help but scowl. "If you are just going to tease, let me up."
"No." He kisses me again. His mouth moves lower. Heat pools in my stomach as he kisses down my chest before covering my nipple with his mouth. I cry out at the feeling.
Eric lets go of one of my hands and I cannot stop myself from reaching for the back of his head. His hand slides back up my skirt and I am half aware of the feeling of his fingers hooking into the side of my underwear as he tries to pull it off. He moves to lavish attention on my other breast while his fingers abandon their task. Instead, he presses against me, sliding under the underwear.
My head falls back. He finds my clit with ease and as he teases his thumb against it, he pushes his fingers in. I am lost in the sensation of his mouth and his hand.
"Eric, please."
He bits down gently on the side of my breast. "Tell me what you want."
I try not to whine. "I want to forget," I breathe. I did not mean to admit that but his fingers crook up before they start a slow pace, moving in and out. "I want more."
"You know what I want to hear," he says. I open my eyes to see him staring at me. His eyes are dark.
There is a tightness in my chest that has nothing to do with edging closer to an orgasm. "Please," I plead.
"Tell me," his tone is sharper. He is losing patience. I do not want to be left wanting as I was the last time I was on this desk.
"You. I want you."
He kisses me hard enough that I wonder if my lips will bruise. There will be no explaining that one. He pulls back and I have to lift myself up slightly to see him unbutton his pants. He lets them fall, shoving down the underwear he wears before stroking himself slowly. I drop myself back down and Eric is above me. He shoves up my skirt and I lift myself up just enough to help him slide down my underwear. I wrap my legs back around him and he adjusts himself before pushing in slowly. My mouth falls open. How long has it been since I felt him?
He moves an arm under me before pulling me to sit up. I drop my head against his shoulder as he slowly pulls out. He thrusts back hard.
"Shh," he says as I cry out. "You really want someone coming to find us?"
I shake my head and try to muffle my sounds in his skin. Eric's strength holds me up as the orgasm hits suddenly. I bite into the juncture of his shoulder, trying to hold back. I hear him swear, but he doesn't stop moving.
"Please, please please," I beg. The sensation is overwhelming. No matter how many times we have had sex, somehow it is always intense.
"Fuck," he grinds out. "'Melia, fuck." His grip on my waist and back will leave bruises. I cannot bring myself to care. Not when the pressure is building up again. His pace increases.
"Eric!"
I am thrown into another orgasm and I try to hold on to the feeling. It is bliss compared to what awaits me when we are finished. His hips stutter against me and I feel his release inside of me. He does not pull away.
As I try to catch my breath, he kisses me again. It is gentle this time and slow. It feels as though he is trying to savour something that should not be there. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. His eyes meet mine.
I look away first. "I should go," I say. We should not have done that but I cannot bring myself to regret it. It is a small moment before I return to the promise of mass murder.
His jaw clenches. "One day, you won't say that."
I try not to sigh. "This has to end eventually, Eric. It cannot last." I am Erudite and he is Dauntless. If the threat that he poses is not enough of a reason to stay away, our factions are.
"It will." He pulls out. The feeling is unpleasant and I look for a way to clean up. There is no material to do so with though.
"I need to clean myself," I say. Eric looks confused for a moment before realization sets it. It is always simpler for men. He glances around before he pulls off his shirt and hands it to me. I stare at him. "Are you certain?"
"Do you see anything else you can use? I'll dispose of it after. I can wear my jacket."
My lips press together but he is right. I am out of options. I hop off of the desk and try not to think about exactly what I am doing as I clean the residue off of me. Eric just watches. When it is satisfactory, I place the shirt on the desk and start looking for the underwear he removed from me. Despite my searching, I cannot find it.
Eric is of no help. He refuses to look and after minutes of watching me search, he reminds me that my ride is expecting me. I swallow my irritation. He likely has them, but as my last endeavour to have my underwear returned to me after he stole them failed, I am unlikely to succeed in retrieving the garment now. I fix my hair quickly and button my shirt. In moments, I am back to looking as pristine as I can manage.
"Feel better?" Eric asks as he leads me back through Dauntless. Some of the other Erudite will be left here to proceed with ensuring everything is prepared. "I do." He is far too smug.
"I will inform you of my return," I say, ignoring the attempts at goading me. He was a release. That is all.
"We'll see."
I do not have the chance for rebuttal as we reach the truck that is waiting for me.
"Alright, Ms. Elswood?" the driver asks as Eric opens the door.
"I am fine."
Eric's hands go to my waist, helping me step up into the cab. I cannot stop the memory that floods me at his touch and I try not to react at the tender spots. When I look back at Eric, he has that smirk on his face. I reach over and close the door, ignoring him. Thankfully, there are enough people around that he does not protest. I doubt he will forget it though.
"Let's go," I say. The driver nods and I look out to see Eric staring as we drive away. Hopefully, he will now stop pestering me for the nights he demanded. This has to count.
[tbc]