Well, she was fucked. Maybe if she just controlled her breathing. She could handle that. All those years of swim and yoga taught her how to even her breath and ensure she wasn't gasping for air. With fifteen minutes trapped in a vault, losing oxygen, and facing Amanda, she had to keep herself together. Michael coming to get her, Birkhoff hacking his way through Gogol and Zetrov security, and Alex keeping Ari busy in the board meeting was a huge help. She could focus entirely on herself and surviving. That wasn't impossible. She had been surviving on her own for years- what was fifteen more minutes. If only Amanda wasn't on the other side of the bulletproof glass, lying in wait, ready to attack, "You're really going to do this. And for what? The undying gratitude of a mother who didn't want you?"
"Pink slips for you and Ari. That is why you're doing this, right? Love," If Amanda wanted to make digs and taunt her, then Nikita would happily return the favor. She sat on a crate next to the energy device, absolutely smug. The rogue continued to have the upperhand in the situation, despite facing asphyxiation. The item needed to catapult Ari into the vacant CEO position was locked inside with her. And, as heard through her coms, Alex was shoving him further out of that seat of power by seeding doubt amongst the board. The team was well on their way to victory. They would've achieved it by then had they not hit a snag.
"What about your siblings? What about Michael? You prepared to leave them all alone? You and Michael are still together?" And, God, was Amanda an annoying and detrimental snag. Nikita had performed spectacularly on the mission before then. She infiltrated the building, snuck onto the research level, beat up some guards, made fun of Birkhoff, and grabbed the device. It was a pretty standard op, quips and fists and all. An argument could be made that stumbling into a problem like Amanda was standard for the team as well. There always had to be some sort of drama when it came to fighting Division. The bitch was even trying to stir up more by questioning the rogue's relationship. But she wasn't going to give in.
"You should've shot me," Although she was being sarcastic as she began to pace in frustration, a small part of Nikita meant it. She should've just died. So many times, she should've just died instead of being saved. Yet those weren't the thoughts to have at the moment. She had to concentrate on breathing. And she couldn't let Amanda into her head. The bitch had fucked with her enough. Her statements, assumptions, whatever, couldn't claw their way under her skin. She had to prove that she truly had escaped Division. The rogue had to show that she was better than her enemies.
That was easier said than done, however. Frustrations rolled over Nikita. No matter how many times she snarked or rolled her eyes, Amanda's words still bit at her. She would've been lying if she said she hadn't thought about those things before. Her heart was so tied to her loved ones, it was terrifying at times. Michael once asked her if she had any idea how he would feel if he lost her. And maybe she did. No doubt he'd feel how she would without him, her team, and her siblings- just absolutely gutted and heartbroken. She couldn't leave anyone to experience that, even if she wouldn't mind dying. As for how much that extended to her adopted mother, however, Nikita would much rather listen to Amanda than think about that, "What are you doing here, Nikita? I didn't put you in Division. I didn't kill Daniel. I didn't kill Ryan…"
"Oh I'm so grateful," Nikita couldn't believe Amanda could mention Daniel and then wonder why she wanted to destroy Division. That hellhole ruined innocence and lives; it couldn't be left standing no matter who was in charge. Besides, not killing people didn't make the bitch a saint. She had caused enough damage as it was with her manipulation and control. She didn't get to play the victim to the rogue's wrath. It didn't even come down to avenging her late fiancé's death anyway. That was just a small part of her whole crusade. It was about bringing justice to a world full of monsters. For that to happen, all monsters had to be eliminated.
"You should be on your knees. I saved your life. When you came to me, you were nothing- a daughter abandoned by her mother. But I made you better. I made you amazing. And what did you do to repay me? You broke my heart," The bitch was actually upset by her confession. Although she undermined who Nikita was as a person and took all the credit for making her the indomitable agent she was, Amanda was serious. The rogue broke her heart by escaping Division. She had cared for her and raised her, and all she got in return was ingratitude. At least, that was what she believed.
Nikita could only stare in shock for a moment. That was the third time. That was the third time a woman she had looked up to and let care for her tell her Division was good for her. When Madeline told her, she was furious and ready to rip heads apart. When Ms. Bennet told her, she wanted to run away. And when Amanda told her, her whole being just snapped. She stalked towards the glass parting them, rage shaking her body, "You think you gave me some kind of gift? You took a hurting girl, and you made her a broken woman. You told me I was beautiful. You told me that I was special…"
"You were," Despite Amanda's interruption, reminding Nikita exactly who she was talking to, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Madeline. Even thoughts of Carla and Katya came floating to her mind. But their decisions to follow dangerous men instead of the girls attempting to help them didn't sting as much. It was being praised and loved and offered such a great life that you couldn't imagine anything else, only for it to all be a lie that shattered her very being. The world was built up beneath her, surrounding her with support and security. Then she was shoved out into the cold dark when she didn't live up to the standards set before her. Nikita dared to be herself, and Madeline and Amanda gave her up to people who hurt and broke her.
"You lied! I was ripped from one home, and you promised me another. That never happened! Instead, you dressed me up all pretty and served me up to them- just like Madeline did," Tears filled her brown eyes without her wanting them to. The world became muted and dulled around her. Michael's assurance that he'd be there soon, Birkhoff successfully breaking through Gogol's security system, and Alex awesomely putting Ari in his place was barely registered though her com. All her focus was on Amanda. The resolve to not let the bitch under her skin was long gone. It fell away just as her tears did, "I broke your heart? You broke mine."
It was Amanda's turn to stare. That wasn't where the night was supposed to have gone. One of them was supposed to have grabbed the energy device, and secured their power over the other. There was standard mission protocol to follow, and locking Nikita in the vault that sucked out all the oxygen shouldn't have changed anything. But the bitch not shooting the rogue had. Adrenaline and confusion forced confessions to explode in the air that neither wanted to explore. All that was left to do was wait out the timer. Nikita would soon run out of air, and Amanda could take the device for herself and Ari. Though, that option seemed so lackluster after everything they had done together, "So what happens now?"
"I guess I die. And you lose," Sitting back down, Nikita turned a resolved gaze towards the bitch. Tears continued to blur her vision, but she didn't care. In the last few minutes it would take to lose oxygen, Alex would've completely decimated Ari in front of the board, and Michael would've arrived with the Hazmat team. The team could still win the day, even with her dead. That was something to rogue could accept. She didn't want to think about Michael's, or Sean's, or Alex's, or even Birkhoff's reaction to her sacrifice. If it meant they lived and didn't lose themselves to the bitch's power, then it would be alright. Her team and siblings would have each other anyway; she wasn't leaving anyone alone.
She really had to concentrate on her breathing. Nikita shook away those thoughts, and focused entirely on controlling her breath. The air was getting thinner, and she could feel her head about to spin. She needed to get a handle on herself. She had slipped up way too much in that vault. Alex, Michael, and Birkhoff were still fighting, so why couldn't she. At least until Ari was fully dragged by the Zetrov board (led by Alex's amazing insults) the rogue could keep being a distraction to the bitch. Her attention was too narrowed on what was to happen next. Nikita had to force Amanda to recall the past- like she had done to her countless times before. The window of opportunity was closing, though. She had to act fast, "It's almost time."
"Where is she? Amanda?" Maybe Nikita was reaching. The bitch might not have had a heart worth softening. But what was their conversation and that moment in the junkyard if not proof that Amanda wasn't always 'the inquisitor'. There were moments in Division as well, where it all seemed so normal with her. The hardened exterior she paraded around could've been a mask just like the one the rouge had. Though, all of those thoughts were a stretch, born from last second thinking while being deprived of oxygen. But Nikita had to attempt something. Amanda had to be delayed just a little bit longer. Alex had Ari on the ropes and she couldn't let her down. The young woman deserved to finally get justice for her father.
"I think you're getting delirious," Amanda cautiously dismissed Nikita. There was a chance she was right, anyway. The rogue was panting for breath and stumbling around as she loosely gripped her weapon. Soon, she was going to pass out and asphyxiate; her words couldn't hold much credence. Yet Amanda was still intrigued by them. Nikita was staring at her with pleading eyes. The tears were long gone, replaced with apprehension and confusion. It was potentially her last moments alive, and she was spending them focused on Amanda instead of calling out to her team. The bitch couldn't help but be intrigued by that.
"You told me once that there were two Nikitas. The one that the world sees, and the one that… the one that I had to keep locked away. Where's the Amanda you keep locked away? Because I think I saw her standing over me with a gun. I realized what I saw in your eyes. You were terrified. That's why you didn't do it," Lying down- half in an effort to even her rapid breathing, half in an attempt to sell her play- Nikita mumbled. She no longer thought she was reaching. That had to have been the case. Amanda's hesitation had to have come from that whole 'masks' and 'heartbreak' thing. Why else would she have not killed her target. She still saw her as the girl she believed she raised.
"I had a moment of weakness. It's passed," Stiff, Amanda argued. Although Nikita's eyes were falling closed- again, half against her will and half to keep buying Alex more time- she saw that second of hesitation once more. Apparently the bitch wasn't the only one who could claw their way beneath people's skin. The rogue could use the very same techniques Amanda had taught her to trick and manipulate her. It was satisfying to have the tables flipped. But it was even more satisfying to have finally figured her out. Nikita believed she had solved who her old tormenter was. She was a broken woman just like her, only far more corrupt.
There were probably more similarities between them, yet Nikita was struggling to think. It was getting harder to keep her breathing under control. Her eyes couldn't stay open either, and her body was numb. None of that was a part of her act; she really was losing consciousness. Her last attempt at deception had to be worth it. Alex was winning, Michael was coming, and Birkhoff was waiting to bring it all home. She just had to fight the fog that settled in her mind, making her believe Madeline was in the room instead of Amanda. Couldn't that conversation have been doubled anyway. With an intake of nothing and a drop of her gun, Nikita managed to shove that aside. She just needed one more push, "I think she's still there, Amanda…"
As soon as her body slumped, air rushed into the room. Her ruse had worked; Amanda was so concerned about her that she bust the door down early. There really was another Amanda beneath that bitchy exterior. But Nikita couldn't revel in the fact that she was right, or gasp and breathe in the fresh oxygen all at once. She had to continue waiting for the perfect moment to strike. A Gogol agent slowly approaching her was as good a chance as any. As he poked her with his weapon, she attacked. Lightning quick, she ripped away the pistol, shot at the agents, rigged an explosive, and threw it at Amanda. It all happened so fast, both the rogue and the bitch were stunned. Nikita recovered faster, however. She marched over to Amanda, gun raised. Her finger itched to pull the trigger, but she didn't give in to temptation, "You want to know the difference between me and you? You see a moment of weakness, and I see a moment of strength."
Despite their similarities with masks and being broken, Nikita was still so much stronger than Amanda. The rogue pistol whipped the bitch, and left her unconscious amongst the ruin. Her com was coming alive more than ever then. Birkhoff set off the alarm, alerting the Zetrov board to the situation. Alex successfully got them to turn against Ari and fire the head of Gogol. And Michael had arrived on the scene to bring Nikita home. She grabbed the energy device, and rushed out to meet him. Not once did she look back at Amanda. She didn't have to. She couldn't hurt her anymore.