Chapter 38: No Sex

Paul got up and said, "Emily made leftover pot roast for both of us, lets get you fed."

I was about to get up when Paul said quickly, "No, stay at the sofa. I'll feed you there."

I said, "oh.. okay!"

He went to the kitchen and brought out a bowl of pot roast. He sat down next to me, and he had the fork in his hand. I looked at him questionably.

He said hesitantly, "I..I want to feed you. It'll make both of us happy for taking care of you and our pups so, can I?"

I said warmly, "sure you can , so he proceed to hand feed me with a spoon. I didn't realize how hungry I was because every bite I had, I would moan from how good it was. It brightened up Paul's sorrowful expression to even a more brighter expression. Emily truly is a good cook.

I finished the bowl quickly, and Paul was very eager to get more for me. He also ate his share on the bowl as well, so we were eating together and sharing the same bowel. Eventually, I ate about 4 bowls when I told Paul that I had enough while Paul ate 7. I think it was to recover from his wounds, I am not sure. I was so full that I think my belly grew a little more in size as well. Paul put down the bowl on the floor, and then he started caressing lovingly my belly. He murmured, "You grew so much."

I looked down and place my hand over his hand. I said, "Yeah. Crazy, huh? I look like I am about to pop at any moment in a normal pregnancy, but I am barely halfway there. I can't imagine how much more bigger I am going to get in the next few weeks."

He purred lustfully, "Yes. I love to see how much rounder you are going to get with our pups."

I stayed quiet, unsure what to say next after everything that went down outside with Jacob.

Paul was the first one to say, "…after Jacob clawed me and seeing you cry in his arms, it was like a veil was being taken off from my eyes. I'm so sorry honey for how I acted with you." He leaned forward to push my small curls behind my ears with tears building up in his eyes and said, "I'll do everything to prove to you, how sorry I am... I have such a wonderful mate, so forgiving and I don't deserve you."

I looked deep into his brown eyes, and I grabbed his hands with both of my hands, and kissed his cheek before saying, "don't beat yourself up too much from it…You already faced the consequences for it and you know what'll happen next time... But.."

He cocked his head to the side, and repeated "But?"

I said hesitantly, "but..you can't resolve things through sex, Paul."

He stayed quiet, and I said, "..the fact that you used sex to show your dominance over our relationship like that..that's not right Paul..I..gave myself to you Paul and it wasn't easy to do that.. I..felt loved and empowered when we make love together, but for you to use it to punish me. Even though at the moment, I enjoyed it, but afterwards, I felt used and it felt really..hollow...I..I don't want to feel like that ever again. Sex is personal and not to be used as punishment Paul. Now when I think about having sex, the images of last night keeps popping up..I..I need space and time to move on from that …so , I won't have sex with you for a while."

Paul nodded slowly, "I understand..I..I didn't take it in consideration what would be like afterwards and how it would impact you…I only thought about satisfying my wolf spirit at the moment that I didn't consider how it could turn you off from wanting it in the future.. I am so sorry, Ale…Is there anything that I can do to make this up?"

I said honestly, "I don't know Paul.. I may not want sex for a while, but I do still want to be physically affectionate because that's how I am. I like physical touch and that is how I respond to love and I know that is how you respond to love too Paul, so I won't be too inconsiderate and cruel by being totally abstinent to physical touch..just not sex for a while., and I want to enjoy being physically affectionate without having sex. I..I think maybe we did rush it a bit with having sex often besides completing the claiming ritual, so I want to value it more."

He nodded very solemnly, "..I understand…"

I added, " so don't ..beat yourself up about it.. Lets focus on moving forward, okay?"

He nodded tearfully, "alright."

I was jolted with a surprise when I felt multiple kicks inside of me. He looked at me for confirmation, and I nodded sweetly so he put both of his hands on belly, feeling the babies kicking inside of me. He kissed it and it made one of the babies to kick in response. He was grinning very proudly as he was purring in content.

I said blushingly, "haha. I think the pups wanted some attention too besides you giving me attention."

He said cheekily, "mhm. They were feeling how much I love their mama and they want to be loved as well."

He asked nervously, "Does it hurt?" as he continues to stare my round stomach.

I shook my head, "Nope. It actually feels nice, and it makes me feel happy to see how energetic they are."

He continued to be fascinated of my round belly, then I whispered, "Paul.."

He asked worriedly, "what is it, love? Something wrong?"

I said, "we're having two boys and a little girl. Isn't that exciting?"

He purred, "yes" and I giggled in response.

He asked, "Do you have any baby names in mind for them?"

I said, "Hmm..I was thinking of giving them their part of their name, and you give them a first or middle name to carry both of our heritages. How does that sound?"

He smiled brightly, "I love that idea. I need to think on it, discuss it with my wolf spirit, and I let you know."

I said sheepishly, "Okay, I, uh, was thinking Evangeline for our little girl and maybe give her a nickname Angie for short."

He smiled as his eyes lit up in anticipation, "Sounds perfect, love. Any particular reason for that name?"

I said, "..Her name means, bringing good news. It's a hopeful name. I don't know if this selfish for me, but because I came from a different world and timeline to help as the peacemaker, I want our children be able to carry part of my temperament and role to continue to bring good to this world even when I am gone."

He said thoughtfully, "I like that a lot."

I said with a surprised tone, "You do?"

He purred loudly as he pulled me closer to nuzzle me at the neck, and he asked, "Yes. Do you have any names for the boys?"

I hummed, "I thought of names fitting for that like Lucas or Luke in English, Mateo or Matthew in English with Mat for his nickname and Andres. Lucas means bringer of light, and I thought because the world is going to change once the supernatural gets exposed. He'll be a light like a bridge as a shapeshifter for humans and the supernatural. Mateo means God's gift, and I thought it would be fitting since the spirits blessed me my baby boy as a gift. Then there is Andres, and it means warrior. I thought it would be a fitting name since they are going to be shapeshifters in the future."

Paul continued to nuzzle me at the neck, it made me shiver with the hair in the back to stand up. He chuckled when he saw how my body was responding to him, so he said, "I like Lucas and Mateo. I'm not feeling it for Andres. Hmm, my wolf spirit and I can give them warrior names for the middle names, so don't worry about that part."

He looked back at me with his silver eyes, so I said, "okay, I'll trust you and wolf to name our children."

He nodded and his eyes went back to normal. I asked, "Is your wound, okay?" as I hesitantly touch his bandages.

He shook his head and said, "I don't feel any pain anymore, but because I was the last one to receive treatment, there are going to be scars..but I deserved it, don't feel bad about it, kay?"

I said quietly, "kay, but can I see them?"

He nodded, "Sure. On the that thought, I think its time for us to have a bath together."

I tensed, and he said, "Is that okay? We don't have to bathe together, if you don't want to?

I like that Paul is being considerate of me and following through what I wanted. I said, "Only to wash and sit together in the bathtub, but no making out in the bathtub because we would be naked, it'll lead to something else."

He said, "Okay, I can respect that", so he lifted me off the couch, carrying me in a bridal style to the bathroom.

I said teasingly, "Are you ever going to let me walk, Paul?"

He said, "nope. Not until our appointment. I don't want Sue getting on me."

I said, "lol. Okay."

He said, "Okay, hon. I am going to get the bathtub ready, are you okay to stand for a minute or two?"

I nodded, "yeah" as he gently placed me down to stand. It took a moment to adjust to the added weight on my body, and my lower back ached just a bit, so I slid off my blue maternity dress off and it fell down to the floor. I took the time to check myself out in the mirror. I no longer have pale-skin or dark circles under my eyes. It seemed like my hair got longer and fuller. My breasts got even bigger even though it hasn't been filled with milk yet. My nipples gotten a darker color to it as well, so I wasn't sure how to respond to that. My belly button was poking outward than inward, and when I push it inward, it would come back out again. Man, I can't imagine how much more bigger my breasts are going to get when I start producing milk. Most likely due to the pregnancy, I looked like I have a glow to my skin. I looked down to my very round pregnant belly, I placed my arms around my belly and gave myself a twirl. Wow, I am huge.

Something caught my attention in the corner of my eye. I turned around, and I saw that my claim mark has changed shape. Now, there was another crescent moon inside the claim mark, it was across from the other crescent moon. The color inside the crescent moon looks golden instead of Paul's color in my other crescent moon mark. I was marveling it when Paul, naked came behind me.

He purred, "looks beautiful, doesn't it?"

I said in awe, "Yeah."

I turned around, and asked, "Can I take off your bandages?"

He nodded in agreement, so I went to take off his bandages, and underneath it, there was like 4 lines and a half of a claw mark across his chest, and there were five puncture wounds on his shoulder. It looked angry red, but I could see that it'll become a scar. I was gently trailing his scars with my fingers.

Paul said, "These scars will be a constant reminder of not loving you like I should, and it'll help me to do better whenever I get tempted to go back how I used to be."

I looked at him, feeling his sincerity, so I simply nodded. I wasn't sure how to respond to that because..actions speaks louder than words, so I have to see how he behaves from this point on. Paul was the first one to get on the bathtub and he extended his hand for me, to help me get on. I slowly got on, and being very careful with me, he gently helped me to sit down with my back against his chest. He had his legs side by side of me, and I just lay back against his chest and relaxed.

I whispered, "You can wrap your arms around me, its okay."

He slowly wrapped his hand around my round belly with his hands laying on top of my belly. I laid my hands on top of his hands, and Paul started to purr lowly. It felt nice feeling the rumble of his purr on my back, it felt like I was getting a small massage.

I asked, "How is it for you now that Jake is Alpha?"

He said, "It's different..so much different compare to Sam. With Jake, it didn't feel like I am dealing with Jake. It felt like I am dealing a different entity. He's radiating so much power, dominance, confidence that I can't help but follow him. It's making my wolf spirit very happy because you know me and my wolf spirit, we are very possessive and dominant wolves. Not saying Sam isn't dominant, I admit even Sam sometimes don't know how to handle me, so in a way, I..we feel like we can be more ourselves in the pack. I don't know if that makes sense?"

I said, "I think I get it..do you have an idea what happened to Jacob before he stopped yall?"

Paul said, "No. We only see what he let's us see. We only hear when he speaks to us directly that is how we saw the possible future of what happens if we kill off the Cullens through the pack mind."

I said, "Oh..then how did Jacob became Alpha?"

Paul answered, "He..was there waiting for us at the Cullens' house. Once we all got there, he let out an Alpha call. It made all of our wolf spirits to go nuts and immediately kneel down before him. We couldn't resist that call. It was much more powerful than the alpha order from Sam. Our wolf spirits immediately obeyed him before we actually understand what was going on. Since our wolf spirits immediately recognized him, the transition of power from alpha was felt through the packmind. Then, Jacob sent us the vision that he received from the spirits of the possible future of what happens when we kill off the Cullens. He alpha ordered us to return back to the reservation after he made his goodbye to Edward. Once we got behind my house, he alpha ordered us to wait naked in front of everyone as he went inside to retrieve you and everyone else."

I said, "interesting."

I still wonder what Meyers do to bring the Cullens back to Forks when they had everything prepared to leave. On that thought, I need to call Rosalie and I have a good talk with her. Imma go talk to her after the meeting with Jacob tonight.

He said, "Yup."

I then to grab my shampoo and started to wash my hair. Paul started to wash his hair too and his body. Once we finished washing ourselves, Paul was the first one to get up, he gently took me out of the bathtub. He went back to the room, to grab clothes for me and for himself. He got dressed, and I asked him to help me put my underwear on since I can't put it on my own. I was sitting on the toilet seat as he put on my underwear then he put it on properly once I stood up. He didn't make a move on me which I'm thankful for. I put on a forest green maternity dress on as Paul helped me zip it up in the back. I told Paul that I would be taking a nap, so I slept on my side.

I woke up with Paul slighting shaking me, and I was immediately hit with the smell of food, and my mouth was immediately salivating with my belly rumbling in hunger. Paul chuckled and he said, "hon, I made dinner. I made some grilled salmon, mac and cheese, and instant mash potatoes with gravy."

I said, "Oh! Thank you, Paul. that sounds delicious."

Loving the praise, he gently carried me to the seat to eat at the table. He had the plates all set up with candles in the middle of the table. It looked like a romantic dinner, and I tried to hide a smile. It was cute, but it wasn't enough to make up with everything.

He sat down across of me, and we ate to our fill. Paul didn't let me wash dishes, so he again carried me to the sofa as I lazily watched some movies. I got the chance to see Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla, so I started watching it. I didn't think I would watch some retro Godzilla movies. Ayy. I remember watching them through Crackle website, before they took it down. Ah, the good old day. Paul eventually sat down next to me, and he started belly-laughing.

I asked jokingly exasperatedly, "What?"

He said half-smirking, "I didn't think you would be a Kaiju fan. Seth is crazy about that."

I said bashfully, "Haha. Yeah, I would watch the movies illegally online back in middle school and early high school. My mom..introduced me to them, but I was introduced to the English dubbed versions first , so I started watching the original Japanese ones with English subtitles online."

He hummed and said nothing else. We watched the movie in silence, and it was a comfortable silence.

I asked him, "Did you had work today?"

He said, "Nah, we took a day off, but we go back to the schedule tomorrow…I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone for long period of time though…"

I said, "I think I would be okay. I won't overdue it, but if anything happens, I call someone for assistance and I let you know, okay?"

He sighed, "okay."

Paul looked at the clock and said, "it's time for us to start heading to Jake's place."

I said, "okay" and we got on Paul's dads' car since it would be too hard for me to get on Paul's truck.

I asked him on the way there, "Do you have an idea what is going to happen?"

He said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Nope…"

I just nodded, and we finally arrived at Jake's place. Billy, Old Quil, Sue, Jared, Sam, Emily, and Kim were already there. We were waiting on Seth, Brady, Collin, and Leah to show up. I sat next to Old Quil on Jake's sofa. As the guys greeted each other with nuzzle to the head as they all got a beer and sat down on the table in the living room. Jacob was the head of the table, and he was easy to spot due to his physique. He looked tired, and I knew he had a conversation with the elders after this morning. Maybe it was what tired him out?

Is Leah going to come back in time? Or is she going to get here late? Finally the rest showed up, and Leah came in last. She was at the back leaning against the wall, avoiding eye contact from everyone including me.

Then, Jacob cleared his throat, "We're going to start the meeting now."

Author's Note:

Imma publish the next chapter maybe by Sunday night, but latest Monday night. I have stuff to do tomorrow, so I am sending this short chapter out there.

We're going to see changes in the pack dynamic, and then Jacob going to talk with Ale later on what happened to Jacob before he got to the Cullens place.

As always, reviews are very much appreciated.