Sasuke makes a plan to kill the elders, the ones who had plotted Itachi's path of betrayal and deceit. Along the way, Madara promises us a bijuu to assist with destroying the village. Not totally interested in the chakra monsters themselves but desiring more power that will guarantee a positive outcome, Sasuke accepts. We join with Akatsuki. I refuse the cloak they give me. I stare straight ahead whenever Madara talks and answer Sasuke only in staccato affirmatives.

As much as I can, I try to shove everything down like Sasuke does. I try to get rid of all the faces I once saw and think only of my family, how they had been wronged by the village – I had done it before, when I first left the village, but even then there were moments when I cried because I wanted someone with me, someone to hold me and know me. I couldn't kill that part of me that loved and wanted to be loved.

I can't be like Sasuke. I can't forget Konoha. I can't desire the same thing that Sasuke does.

Unable to withstand the blaze of his hatred any longer, I turn on Sasuke.

I think I always knew it would be this way. It was only a matter of finding the right time.

I go with Sasuke to capture the Eight-Tails on behalf of the Akatsuki, making small moves to ensure that we will fail in some capacity. Karin suspects my sabotage, going so far as to have Suigetsu attack me and hold me back. But Sasuke has them let me go, promises that if I actually betray them, I will face him. He digs into the bond to see what I'm planning, but there's so much distance between us now that there's no way he can see any truth in my heart. He has me implant Itachi's eyes into him. I consider it a parting favor.

I go with him to the Kage Summit, and there I make my betrayal known.

Sasuke begins his attack, and I leap in to intervene. I fight alongside Gaara, countering all of Sasuke's ninjutsu until he's forced to withdraw. When Sasuke leaves me, his Sharingan shine. If I didn't know any better, I would think that he's crying for me.

The Kage capture me, unconvinced of my motives, and I don't resist. It isn't until Gaara steps in that the Kage release me into his custody.

Gaara was one of the last people I saw before I left. "You're looking for forgiveness," he said, "aren't you? You're looking to make up for everything you've done."

Gaara understood. He meets my eyes now and says, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Gaara offers me his hand. I take it, the warmth of his fingers spreading through me. I press his knuckles to my forehead, overwhelmed by the kindness, the unconditional forgiveness, the magnificent grace. I lean on Gaara's shoulder and anchor myself in his harbor. His arms around me renews my heart, refills it incrementally with the love that had spilled out over time.

"It's okay," Gaara says and rests his head against mine. "It's good to have you back, Ren."

My arms tighten around him at the sound of my name. "Gaara," I say. "Thank you."

All at once I remember the love I felt, how I had fallen under the weight of it, how it had consumed me until I thought I was gone – but it wasn't that I was lost. It was that I was reborn, rising from still waters. Unfamiliar with safety, certainty, I had mistaken my new identify for loss. I had chosen what was familiar with Sasuke over what was right with Konoha.

Gaara takes me to Naruto, Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai, who are here to appeal to the Raikage and ask him to forgive Sasuke. Their appeal failed, though, and instead they're stuck with me. Gaara hands me over, telling them about how I had turned against Sasuke, how I stood alongside the Kage after Madara declared war against the Five Nations. They welcome me back into the fold, though Naruto keeps his eyes lowered.

"Sasuke doesn't see you," Gaara says to Naruto. "He longs only for his own darkness. You once told me you would become Hokage. Since then, I have become Kazekage, and I've learned something. If you are prepared to bear the title of Kage, then do what you must as Sasuke's friend."

Gaara extends his hand, hoping that Naruto recognizes the gesture, the familiarity of it. Instead, Naruto knocks Gaara's hand away.

Temari shakes her head. She glances at me like I should know what to do, how to get through to Naruto. And then she says, "Hatake Kakashi, Suna will proceed under the assumption that you are Hokage. I pray there won't be any more miscommunications. And Ren." She presses her lips into a tight line. She turns on her heel. "Shikamaru has been worried about you. He'll be glad to have you home," she says without looking at me, and my hands tighten into fists at my sides. "Let's go, Gaara."

Gaara pauses. His gaze hasn't left Naruto. "I think of you as a friend," he says. "I used to think 'friend' was another word, nothing more, nothing less. But when I met you, I realized what was important was the word's meaning. Think about its meaning and what you're trying to do for Sasuke."

With that, Gaara leaves. Yamato and Kakashi speak softly with Sai about next moves. I'm still focused on Naruto, though, still letting Gaara's words turn over in my head, ignoring the implications of Temari's final words to me.

"Gaara is right, you know," I say quietly to Naruto. "Naruto, I was with Sasuke for three years and he never once – there were times when I think he loved me, but never once did I think that he cared for me."

"Weren't those other times enough?" Naruto says suddenly, finally lifting his eyes to glare at me. His face is pale, and he trembles as he shouts at me. I hold up my hands, wrapping the vibrations around him. "Isn't that – one moment – enough to show you th-at th-there's a par-t—"

Naruto doubles over, clutching his chest. He wheezes and gasps as he falls to his knees and presses his face into the snow. I kneel beside him and place my hands on his back, saying, "Naruto, breathe."

Naruto tries to shrug me off of him but he's too weak. I hold onto him tightly, applying pressure that will calm his central nervous system. But he continues to writhe, pushing against me, and I can't get a firm enough grip on him. I charge chakra to two fingers and tap the side of his neck – the sudden jolt of chakra is enough to knock him unconscious.

I raise Naruto out of the snow, brushing clumps of ice out of hair. Kakashi sighs as Yamato takes Naruto from me. "As unfortunate as this is," Kakashi says, "at least he won't be able to interfere."

"Interfere with what?" I ask.

Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai exchange looks. I frown, my stomach dropping as Sai steps forward.

"Sakura," he says, "she's going to stop Sasuke herself."

I go with Kakashi to stop Sakura. There's no way she can stand against him, even with all her training. Her heart hasn't hardened enough when it comes to him. She doesn't have what it takes.

We catch Sakura as she freezes in front of Sasuke. Kakashi grabs Sasuke and redirects his Chidori, and I grab Sakura, restraining her as she lunges forward. She blinks at me, afraid, but I ease the kunai from her hand and say, "It's okay. I'll do this."

I can't do it. Even with Kakashi's help, I barely manage to land a scratch on Sasuke. He's too powerful now with Itachi's Sharingan, and he's always been too fast for me.

Sasuke unveils Susanoo, a massive figure of enormous black chakra that moves to Sasuke's will. I clench my teeth as I stare up at it, watching all the shadows of my past grow and loom over me, manifested.

I freeze, letting Kakashi push himself in front of me, letting him protect me as I cower, watching as the Susanoo dissolves in black mists. I freeze, seeing a streak of pink leap toward Sasuke, watching in slow motion as Sasuke regains his bearings and moves to kill Sakura – only for Naruto to appear, sweeping Sakura off her feet and saving her at the last minute.

Madara interrupts our reunion. He scolds Sasuke and beckons for me. "We can forgive what happened earlier," he says. "Come back."

"Never," I say. "I'm where I'm supposed to be now."

"Come back," Sasuke snipes, and there I feel the weight of the bond behind the words.

I can't stop it. My feet fly forward, and I reach out for him. I feel Sakura's hands and Naruto's, but I shove them away, moving toward Sasuke.

All around me – he's everything. He's it. This is it.

Sasuke stares me down, his left eye dripping bloody tears. And this time I stare back.

In him, I see everything: everything I once had, everything I lost. I see the boy I loved, the one who would walk with me on the surface and eat snacks with me that I brought back from supply runs. But I also see the boy who would use my dreams against me, who would watch me cry after breaking free from his genjutsu and do nothing. I see the boy who cowered in the nightmare of our past, letting the shadows overtake him, even when I was there, calling for him.

"Sasuke," I say, taking his face in my hands. I wipe his eyes. His blood tracks over his cheeks, my fingerprint smeared over his skin. "Please. Please. Let me go. I'm – I'm begging you. I have never asked for anything from you. Please, this one time, let me go. If you're not willing to come back, please—"

"Sasuke," Madara says.

"Sasuke," I say, stepping closer to him until our shoulders bump, "please."

Sasuke stares at me, unblinking. And then the darkness of his eyes change to bright red, the tomoe of his Sharingan spinning.

Sasuke lets me go home.