I am so, so, so, so, so ,so SORRY FOR HOW LATE THIS IS I HAVE NO WORDS.
I bit of more than I could chew this term and was so busy I could even think about Atria.
SIRIUS MAKES AN APPEARANCE.
I hope you like this chapter it hurt my heart to write but it was defiantly one of my favourite parts so far.
I hope you love it as much as I do.
Atria moved quickly down the street as the familiar gate grew closer and closer.
"Harry don't dawdle," she snapped at the boy behind her who was fine staying a leisurely pace.
"Its right there, we can slow down now," he responded.
Atria rolled her eyes and kept going until she stood in front of the black gate of 12 Grimmauld place.
She undid the latch before walking through, forgetting to hold the gate open for Harry behind her who winced when the metal gate hit his legs.
"Hurry up," she said as she reached the door, not hesitating before knocking as loud as she could while Harry made his way up the stairs.
"Atria calm down," Harry said frustratedly as he reached the top of the stairs, "They'll be fine."
No sooner than that the door was opened by a dishevelled Remus, "Atria," he said, his eyes widening at the sight of Harry. Atria's eye travelled to the tired bags under his eyes, to the worry lines on his face that looked more prominent, as if he had been using them more.
"Remus," Atria said, her excitement diming.
"Quickly inside," he said before ushering them through the door.
"What are you doing here?" He asked as he closed the door, "Why didn't you write?"
"Is that a problem?" Atria asked, knowing she should have written, but it had all been so rushed, she hadn't had the chance.
"Hey Remus," Harry said shyly.
Remus gave him a tired smile, "Harry. Good to see you," he said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder before turning to Atria, "could I talk to too you for a moment?"
Atria nodded. Remus led her to the old lounge room and closed the door behind him.
"I'm sorry I didn't write but.."
"It's not about that," he said, his brow furrowing with worry.
She came to her conclusion that something had taken place a Grimmauld between now and her last visit, and there was only one plausible option. "Where Sirius?" Atria asked.
Remus nodded, "Sirius," he said as if he too was about to approach the subject, "Something happened while you were away."
"That much is obvious," she said sarcastically. "Remus, you're worrying me what's wrong?" Atria asked.
She caught Remus' eye, but he kept looking away nervously."Kreacher and Sirius had a bit of an argument and Sirius lost his temper," He explained before his words started to get choppy, "In retaliation, Kreacher started to.." he trailed off.
"Yes," Atria urged him on.
Remus gave her a solemn look, "To talk about things. Things that happened in Malfoy Manor."
The room fell silent to the point Atria was sure she could hear the old wallpaper cracking around them, "What did he say?" she asked. She knew better, she knew what had been said, but she still hoped not.
"Remus?" she urged.
"I think you need to talk to Sirius about it Atria," He said simply.
Atria let out a huff.
"He hasn't spoken since," Remus reasoned, "it's been two days and he hasn't slept."
"Why didn't you write to me?" Atria asked angrily.
"I didn't want to put any more stress on you," he said, "But you're here now and you need to tell him."
"Remus, I can't do that," she said shrilly, as she started to panic.
"You have to," he said sternly, "He needs to hear it from you. It can't be me."
"Sirius?"
She watched as Sirius visibly shook before he quickly turned to look at her, "Atria," he said. He looked tired, no, he looked exhausted, his hand went to his head as if the quick movement had hurt it. she watched as he visibly stopped himself from standing up out of the chair as if he wanted to go to her, but he didn't.
"Are you alright?" She asked as she slowly walked into the room.
Sirius gave her a bright smile that maybe could have hidden his mood had it not been for his red eyes and pale face, "I'm fine," he said.
"Sirius," Atria said her eyes meeting her father's whose were fixated in her, "Remus told me that…" she trailed off, her eyes landing on the ground as she took a deep breath, "Kreacher may have said some things and-" she trailed off unable to finish her sentence. Maybe it hadn't been that bad, she didn't know what Kreacher had told Sirius and she didn't want to give her self away and make it worse.
"I understand why you didn't tell me."
Her head shot back up. His fingers were nervously bouncing in a light tap on the wood of the chair. He gave her a small smile, one she had seen before, one that was trying to be something it was not, to be okay, he was just trying so hard to prove that he was, to be strong for her but his resolve was failing, falling quicker and quicker with every second he looked at her.
"I.." He tried but he couldn't, instead, he turned to look at the backdoor, the escape he had been fixated on for the last two days.
"I've been sitting here looking at that door for too long," he laughed to himself, he turned to look back at her and he stopped laughing at the site, her face had dropped, the muscles in her face had simply gone limp, her eyes were wide and nervous as she watched him and he felt the tears begin to burn back up.
He changed so fast. A man was now before her that had no resemblance to her father but rather of the fugitive whose photo was on every wall in diagon ally. "I could leave right now and do it," he said, his tone cold and threatening, yet earnest as if asking to do a favour of great importance. His face hardened and his tone was pointed as he continued, "I could kill him."
"Sirius you can't," she said softly.
"But I could," he said ardently his tone harsh as he snapped. Atria winced at the sound and Sirius saw her, he stood from his chair as if about to approach her but he stopped.
"I used to sit in that cell picturing what you would have been like," he said, his voice trembling, "12 years of thinking you were dead, I didn't have to imagine what would happen to you, what your childhood would have been like without your mother or I. I was free to just imagine the good," he said as the guilt began to overcome him "what could have been, I didn't have to think about what would happen when my mother found you or what she would have done with you. In my head, all you were was mine."
He grew angrier and angrier and Atria couldn't stop as tears came to her own eyes, because she had to admit his words hurt, but she knew she had to hear them, "and while I was in that cell, loathing in self-pity and hatred you were alive and you needed me! I had given up, I didn't try to go out to find you because I had deserved it. I ruined everything! Your mother was dead because I wasn't there and you were gone, I didn't know where or how to find you and so I excepted it. Why after everything did I deserve you of course you had to be gone !" he finished. He wiped his face wiping the tears away as he sat back down again in the chair, "The childhood I had was the reason I left home because I knew I would never let my child go through the same thing I had." He said resting his elbows on the table as his hands went to his hair grasping it tightly. He shook with small sobs trying to hold them in. Atria walked over to him slowly, she looked down at his defeated figure before she placed her hands gently on his shoulders in a small act of comfort. One of his hands slowly moved to place his hand over hers, he held onto it for dear life and a sob broke through his chest, "I should have been home with you, I should have protected you and..." his hand shot to his brow rubbing his eyes desperately as he cried, "I failed everyone! I fought in a war to protect my family and I lost them all!"
"Your right," Atria said letting go of his shoulder before moving to his side to kneel down beside him, "it could have all been different but we can't turn time back and change that," she explained as he looked down at her, "I used to think of what my life could have been like, how different it all could have been. It was the only escape or hope I had and I clung to it," she said as tears left her own eyes. She fought off her self preserved nature to open up to him, pushing through, trying to get the wors out of her mouth, "But I have it now," she said, "I have you now, I have Remus, I have Harry and I couldn't lose that again," She finished, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry you had to find out like that I was going to tell you, but please don't leave me again," she begged him.
Sirius's hands went to her cheeks as he cradled her head lovingly in his hands, "I should have been there," he said softly as he looked down at her.
Atria shook her head, "You're here now," she said smiling through her tears, as she placed a hand over his on her cheek, "and I would not change that for the world."
Her body acted on impulse as she threw herself into his arms, without a thought of propriety. "I love you, dad," she whispered softly.
Sirius let out small cry as he held her close squeezing her tight, "I love you to Atty."
Atria nuzzled her head further into his shoulder as his hand cradled the back of her head. Years of dreaming of a moment like this had come to an end. She felt nothing but bliss and contentment, she felt so complete she thought she would burst with it.
She had him now.
"Now I have been in contact with Dumbledore," Remus cautiously said, putting a cup of tea on the table in front of Atria where she was sitting. Atria showed no sigh of approval.
"But why?" She demanded making Harry wince at her tone, "Sirius could have gone straight back to Azkaban if we weren't careful," Atria said aggressively.
"Dumbledore is on our side, he knows about Pettigrew," Remus reasoned.
"What if he hadn't been?" Atria asked still digging in to Remus. Remus who had been so cautious but seemed to only be cautious with others and not his own actions.
"But he did," Sirius said comfortingly putting his hand on Atria's shoulder as he looked down at her.
Remus nodded in agreement before continuing, "Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. He knows, the order knows-"
"The order, "Atria said, cutting in looking between Sirius and Remus, "What's the order."
"we'll leave that for later," Remus said turning back to the kitchen, "now time for some dinner."
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