Chapter 41: Going for a Jog

Meredith put on her shorts, a tee shirt and a blouse, and searched in the closet for her unused trainers. The days of the greatest summer heat were over, but she could take advantage of the remaining good weather and get back into the habit of jogging. She felt she was slacking off somewhat, Addie did find the time to run every morning.

When her eyes opened this morning with her cheek on Derek's chest, she felt a sort of lingering calm and a surge of energy. A jog would perfectly complete her morning.

"My God, what time is it?" groaned Derek rubbing his eyes. He wasn't woken up by the noise she was making but rather the absence of her soft body next to his.

"Shh, it's early, sleep on," she said softly and sat on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on. "I'll wake you up when it's time."

"Where are you going?" he propped himself on one hand letting the duvet fall down to his waist.

"I'm going for a jog," she turned to him to plant a kiss on his nose and played with his messy hair. "Go back to sleep."

"You don't jog," he insisted with a frown.

"Now I don't," she shrugged, "but I used to. I think I should go back into the habit or I'll get fat."

He smirked at her mischievously, "I think you found a perfect substitute in the form of other physical activity…"

She giggled; he was absolutely right.

"… which is so much better than jogging," he wiggled his eyebrows and pulled the covers off his naked body. "I'm ready to help you with your workout again."

Her eyes glazed at the sight of his morning hardness. She licked her lips; wouldn't she like to hop on… She glanced at the clock, she had time both for a jog and a quickie.

She smiled at him playfully and stood up, "I think I'll go for that run."

"What?" he opened his mouth in surprise. Meredith Grey willfully resigning from sex?

"What do you say, I'll go out for a half an hour, you can sleep in and then you'll give me some additional workout in the shower, hmm?"

He pouted and got out of the bed after her, "I'm going with you."

"Aren't you tired?" she asked with concern. "Yesterday couldn't have been easy for you."

But he didn't listen and got dressed into his shorts and his old tee-shirt he left at her place one day.

"You want to run with that wood between your legs?" she chuckled.

"You know, we could do something about that," he offered as his head reappeared from his shirt.

"I did something about that yesterday."

"I know," he breathed and moved to kiss her hand. "Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"You're very welcome," she smiled up at him and tugged at his hand. "Come on or we'll never leave."

They went out into the grayish morning and trotted past her neighbors' houses. They ran in silence, glancing at each other from time with tiny smiles. At last, they burst out in laughter and halted to catch some air.

She reached to play with his locks, "You need a haircut."

"You're criticizing my hair?" he asked feigning indignation.

"It's just a little wild," she explained softly, "and long, well, and sex tousled."

He laughed freely, looking in her eyes, her fingers still in his hair. He felt calm and excited at the same time, he wanted to start every day of his life like that, at her side.

"I love you," he breathed out. The moment seemed ordinary and unique, perfect.

Her hand stilled and she took it away. He watched with beating heart her eyes going wide and he cringed recognizing traces of fear.

She shook her head frantically, "You what?"

"I love you," he repeated clearly.

She became rigid but her face softened, "I'm sorry, Derek."

"You're sorry?" he asked disbelievingly.

"I can't say it back-"

"Right," he nodded harshly and continued his jog.

"Derek!" her fingers clenched on his bicep holding him back. "Look at me!"

"I've already heard what you have to say," he bit. "You were crystal clear."

"Shut up! You will shut up and listen to me!" she growled at him and he flinched, hunching before her. She continued calmly, "No one ever said this to me before. And I have never said this to anyone before."

He let out a deep breath, he understood it was more than just her unwillingness to commit.

"I am not ready to say it, yet," she underlined the last word and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I want to be sure of it and really mean it. But I can promise you will be the first person to hear it from my lips."

He pressed herself to him and he relaxed in her embrace. In spite of Meredith's affirmation an uneasy tension fell between them for the rest of the jog. Derek couldn't help feeling embarrassed and rejected.

Meredith followed him into the kitchen and watched him fill a glass with cool water. He needed more reassurance than her promises and sex could convey.

Her arms went around his waist as she clang against his back.

"I'm really into this," she murmured snaking her palms over his pectorals underneath his tee.

He then felt her hand dive into the pocket of his shorts. He expected her to move to the front and grab his crotch, but her hand disappeared. Instead, he felt something heavy in his pocket. He pulled out a single key and turned to face her curiously.

"You won't need Addie to let you in while I'm gone," she explained. "I told you, I'm in this, even if I can't say it back for now."

She kissed his nose when sleepy Addison came into the kitchen in a red bathrobe. "God, are you even able to do something else?"

"Like you and McSteamy are doing something else?" smirked Meredith.

Addie stuck her tongue out at her, "You want breakfast?"

"Uhm, we've had a shower in our plans," Derek looked hopefully at her.

"Yes, we have," she smiled and outstretched a hand towards him. Their fingers met and he knew they would be good.