A/N: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. I want to know if you saw this coming.

Chapter Forty-One

The euphoric feeling does not last. The room at Dauntless is ready. It haunts the back of my mind, knowing that I have been a key part of this, of what will happen. I have been trying to shove it back, to focus on my own need for survival but I am not sure it is working anymore. I am a gear helping set this in motion. I do not know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for this. For any of it.

It is astounding walking through the halls of Erudite and knowing what I know. The fate that awaits an entire faction is a weight that will drown me. The vast majority here do not know, but as I pass the ones Jeanine invited, they all have that knowing look. They nod at me as if satisfied that they are involved. Something in my chest tightens every time.

I reel in my emotions as I make my way to Jeanine's office. I cannot show any inkling of my true thoughts on this. I cannot show my fear. I do not know if anyone will see the changes in the code or will know what to do with the information presented. I can only hope that it is enough. If I am honest, I do not believe that it will be.

I am drawn out of my thoughts as I see the Prior boy exiting Jeanine's office as I arrive. It is an unusual sight. Jeanine does not lower herself to deal with the initiates, not unless they have some use to her. Even then she waits until they have passed initiation. I have Caleb's results as they currently stand. He is averaging in the 70s. That is not enough to draw Jeanine's attention. She did not request any information from me on the boy, despite that she assigned me to watch over them. This cannot be good.

Regardless, I smile as he walks towards me.

"Ms. Elswood!" He greets.

I nod in return. "I see you have had a meeting with our Leader," I say lightly. "How lucky you must feel."

He grins back. "I am. She asked to meet with me, wanted to know my thoughts on Abnegation since I transferred from there."

Of course, she did. "And?" I ask, lightly prompting him. We are far enough away that Catherine cannot hear us though I see her eyes narrow as she watches from her desk.

"I think she's right," he says softly. "A lot...they never told us anything in Abnegation. Not how things were delegated despite how much I asked. It'd be easy for them to try to undermine our whole system."

My throat tightens as he parrots Jeanine's words back to me. I do not know what I can say to him. "It is a difficult thing," I finally say. "To realize that the adults in your life are as human as the rest of us, even at your age."

His eyebrows raise but he nods as he thinks about it. "You're right. Thank you, Ms. Elswood. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my research."

"Of course," I say. "Good luck."

"Thank you!" He waves goodbye to Catherine before nodding at me again and leaving. I watch him go. Everything seems so simple when you are first entering a faction. It is no surprise that they believe Jeanine's lies and indoctrination so easily. I am beginning to wonder if I was ever that carefree or if I have spent my life finding ways to survive.

Catherine does not stop me as I head for Jeanine's office. It is a small relief.

I knock and wait for permission to enter. Once I hear Jeanine's voice, I walk in.

"Close the door behind you," she motions. I do so and move forwards, standing next to the seat across from her. I know why she requested my presence, but none of the other possibilities set me at ease. This room is as tainted to me as my home is.

She finally glances away from her screen to look at me. "Sit, Amelia."

I do so quickly and fold my hands together on my lap. They rest over my tablet. It is one of the few things that grounds me but now it is beginning to feel like a chain. I try not to think about that.

"How are preparations coming at Dauntless?" Jeanine asks.

"The room is ready," I say. It has been a week since I saw Eric. My last venture to Dauntless had me in and out of the place within an hour. Max had guided me. I had been told that Eric was indisposed with the initiates. It did not matter. The work was finished much quicker without his presence hanging over me. "We have a final shipment of the serums. After that, it is just preparation for the...initiation." It was the easiest way to refer to what she had planned.

"Excellent. We will be present at the Dauntless final test. Make a note in your calendar for next week and inform the leaders to expect us. We will bring a small party of Erudite. They will get used to our presence there."

I open my tablet and do so quickly. I do not want to be there. I do not want to see the faces of the people they will control. It is only slightly better than visiting Abnegation at this time. Her last comment does not fully make sense though. Why would Dauntless need to get used to Erudite's presence in their own faction? Is this part of her plan that I am not informed about? The only reason I can think of is that she will eventually have Erudite in every faction and hold control over them all somehow with that.

Jeanine watches me for a moment before she leans forward, her forearms resting on the edge of her desk. "Our actions will bring about great change for the better of our society. Sacrifices will be made. You understand that, don't you?"

I stare at her for a moment, slightly confused. I have already sacrificed enough for my survival. I do not know how much more she expects me to give. "Of course," I say. "True progress is not possible with sacrifice, just ask the rats in the labs."

Her lips quirk slightly. I rarely see Jeanine truly smile as though she means it. Everything with her is carefully calculated.

"Spoken like a true Erudite," she says. "I expected nothing less. Continue your tasks," she dismisses me with a wave. "I expect the reports on the initiates to be sent to me by the end of the day, understood."

"Yes, ma'am." I stand up slowly, somehow feeling as though I am missing something vital. The mention of sacrifice sits at the base of my throat, threatening to strangle me if I give it more thought.

"And send Catherine in as you leave. She and I must speak."

I nod. There is something in the way she says it that does not bode well for Catherine. I have heard that tone used on various others in the faction. They tended to cry afterwards.

I pause at Catherine's desk as I leave. "She wants to see you," I tell her.

Catherine looks surprised before smiling smugly. "Of course she does. Likely to tell me how much I am achieving here and how far superior I am to her last assistant."

I leave without a word. Let her think what she wants. From my understanding, she will likely be proven wrong. It is not my concern.

Jeanine's words still ring in my head. Sacrifice. There is something about how she said it that leaves me on edge. I am not one for sacrifice. My actions so far have led to ensuring I did not have to give up anything...though the effects they have had on my own morals is questionable.

I wonder for a moment if anything will change after this. Aside from dealing with the other two factions, will it finally be enough? Once Jeanine has the control she desires, will she slow in her search for Divergents or will she root them out one by one in each faction. The consequences of her finding the truth about me terrify me. She would call that a necessary sacrifice as well. I remember Vera's screams as she begged for help and the sound of Henry dying in the MRI. I cannot let that be me.

Despite the assurance that my apartment has been thoroughly cleaned and my father's invention informs me that there is no trace of poison in my home, I do not want to return there. The only thing that keeps me going back is the knowledge that if I arrived at my parents', they would be concerned. I cannot have that. I cannot have them worry over me or ask questions that I cannot answer. Not now.

That leaves me with the only option of returning to a place that tried to kill me. Even if returning makes my heart pound in my chest and I fight the desire to run every single time.

The apartment is dark when I get in. I barely close the door when there is an unfamiliar knock on it. Fear bubbles up in my stomach. The only one who ever knocked on my door at this hour is Eric. I cannot deal with him.

I open the door. To my surprise, it is not Eric, nor the occasional Brighton. It's Catherine.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. I clutch at my tablet, holding on to some ounce of familiarity.

"Not inviting me in?" she asks.

I pause before stepping back. My curiosity does not allow me to refuse her entry. I want to know why she's here. She glances around the room before turning to me.

"Why are you here?" I ask again.

"Don't you think it's interesting that Jeanine allows you your little forays in Dauntless?" She looks far too smug for my liking.

"I am doing necessary work for Jeanine."

"That work involves being on your back?" she smirks as she says it.

I try not to react. I know she is trying to push me into a reaction. "Obviously, it does not. My work in Dauntless is of the utmost importance to Jeanine."

She scoffs. "Your work is a bonus to her, a side effect of your real purpose."

I try not to frown. "You are clearly misinterpreting things," I say. It is possible she's lashing out because of whatever Jeanine said to her. "And paying too much attention to the rumours of the faction. I suggest you focus on yourself, Catherine."

"You really think you're something special, don't you?" she crosses her arms as she stares at me. She smiles slowly. "You have no idea."

The way she says it makes me clench my teeth. "Catherine, if you do not have any actual purpose in this, get out of my apartment."

"I wondered for so long what it was about you. Why she chose you when there were so many other better options? But I know now that it had nothing to do with your skills or intelligence."

I freeze. "What are you implying?" Fear clutches at my throat and I feel as though my heart is going to burst out of my chest. She cannot know.

"Jeanine made a deal, Amelia. Why else would she choose you? Why do you think you're allowed to have your dalliance with the Dauntless maniac?" She steps forward towards me. My hands grip my tablet tighter, trying not to react. Every ounce of my control is focused on not reacting.

"What are you saying?" I ask, my voice far more calm than I feel.

"She sold you," Catherine stresses. She grins as she does it. Everything stops. "She sold you to that Dauntless leader."

Something in me snaps. I move without thinking, slamming the tablet across her face. "No!" I hit her again. "No!" I cannot stop. I follow her down as she falls. She is wrong. She has to be wrong. She has-

I stop and drop the remains of the tablet, scuttering back away. Catherine's eyes are wide and blank, staring at me as blood drips across her face. What have I done?

[tbc]