A/N: Alright there's a birthday retcon in this chapter that I didn't want to wait for the rewrite to put in, for the date. I realized an old OC of mine (different fandom and long retired) had the same birthday gimmick and it put me off.

Chapter 37: Farewell To My Love

Priss hobbled downstairs, having awoken earlier and feeling shaken from yet another nightmare about losing her child. This time, it felt like she was completely reliving the event, swearing she was actually feeling the physical pain of the pregnancy coming to a tragic end all the way up to the point of the surgical procedure of removing 'the remains.' The mental toll carried over into her waking life, but she had to do something to keep her mind elsewhere. It seemed like an impossible task – the emotional scar of the miscarriage remained fresh, and she at this point accepted that it was an event that would haunt her for years to come, if not her whole life – but if dwelling was all she did, it'd get her nowhere but stuck in a well of misery.

A sudden gurgle in her stomach made her jump so hard she nearly fell down the few steps that remained; even though it wasn't painful, the sensation brought her back to the nightmare she kept reliving night after night. Once she balanced herself out, she briskly walked over to her kitchen counter where she left out her cook book and opened it up to try and find something to make for breakfast. Putting her focus on something intensive like concentrating on following a recipe seemed like a good way to distract her from her woes. She thoughtlessly flipped through some of the pages, staying in the early sections of the book where the breakfast foods were until her eyes landed on 'blueberry pancakes.'

"...I don't have blueberries..."

Priss was staring down at what was supposed to be one of the more simpler recipes in the book that was charitably donated by Zeke's grandmother, but the idea of blueberry pancakes was somewhat thwarted from the get go, which got her mildly frustrated given she already was in a bad mood thanks to her bad dream. She didn't even thumb through the recipe book before she went on her first grocery trip, nor was she suggested to so by the ever-brilliant Zeke, and in retrospect it seemed like it would have been a good idea. She had the rest of the ingredients that would make a basic pancake, which would have to do – and hopefully her attempt at cooking would distance her mind from her lingering unpleasant thoughts.

"Don't even know if I like them anyway," She said of the berries as she straightened out her back after leaning over the counter top, having almost literally put her nose in the book. She then clapped her hands together and loudly proclaimed to herself, "PANCAKES." As if saying it so grandly would ensure they would come out right.

Priss wasted no time in gathering her ingredients listed in the book, minus the berries of course. She kept an air of confidence as she worked – she both wanted to start on her road to being able to cook great meals for her husband when he returned to her, she also had a desire to outdo Zeke's cooking failure from last night's cooking disaster. As she worked, checking the cookbook regularly as she went along, she hummed her own improvised tune. It didn't take long for her to get the batter nice and mixed, so she moved onto the stove – where the real challenge would be; this was where the risk of burning her hard work would come in.

While the pancakes cooked, she stared down at them at the ready to flip them. She smiled, slid the spatula under one of the half cooked pancakes and sloppily flipped it over... it got messy to say the least, and it also seemed a bit overcooked on the other side. Her resolve started to waver as she saw her far from perfect first attempt, but she shook it off and pushed forward until she finished up. She carried her personal serving over to her table with her silverware and glass of water. Some of them looked a bit burnt while others were very burnt, and the evidence of the slight lingering smell supported that even more. Priss now faced the reality that, no matter how hard she proclaimed she'd get it right, practice would be what makes perfect.

And only god knows how much time she would have to practice – the time Reiner would spend away at the war was still totally unknown.

She exhaled sharply and just dug in. She chewed on one of the rougher looking ones first, going for the 'save the best for last' approach... or rather the 'least botched for last' in this situation. After some contemplative chewing, she swallowed with a grimace and shrugged.

"Not... thaaaaat bad... Not terrible..." She told herself before she went back to eating the less than stellar breakfast she made for herself, "But I'll get better, I know I will. I have to."

After a moment of sitting there and trying to force down a few more bites of her sad pancakes, she shook off her delusion, stood up and took the plate over to the garbage can where she dumped the sorry attempt at the breakfast into. She then thoughtlessly tossed the plate and silverware into the sink where they clattered loudly; Priss had no idea what to try and do to feed herself properly since she knew she needed something more to eat, she also knew she couldn't just give up like that if she wanted to improve at the whole cooking thing. For the moment though, she just grabbed her glass of water and headed out into her small back yard. As she sipped her water, she looked to the sky near the military zone and waited to see the zeppelins take flight – one last, distant good bye to her lover.

"I'll get better at all this, I have to... for us," She repeated, murmuring as if Reiner were there next to her. She imagined how he'd react if he was there to experience her first shot at pancakes. Priss knew he wouldn't lie, even for the sake of her feelings; she knew they'd both take a few bites, toss them aside with a laugh and he would assure her they would figure something else out together. Or maybe they would have worked on cooking them as a pair right from the start.

She smiled as she continued to sip her water, letting her mind wander to thoughts of what their married life would be like when he returned. One thing was for sure, it would be massively less chaotic than the lives they lived on Paradis. It wouldn't be exceptionally exciting, but just being together would be paradise – a calm slice of heaven. In fact the more she thought about the idea of joint cooking, the more she was falling in love with it. Such simple pleasures would make life heavenly.

But the ever-present bad news she'd have to deliver was inescapable and started to creep up on her, but before her fantasy was ruined by the painful reality, she was shocked out of it by the sound of a dog barking somewhere nearby; somewhere she couldn't see from her high fenced in yard.

Zeke marched along towards the deployment zone of the military base. Many of those fighting would be Eldians like himself, but while some would be shipped out via the naval fleet, he and Reiner would be boarding zeppelins. The Warchief had undergone some tidying up of his appearance before suiting up – his hair and beard were trimmed and he looked far more acceptable than he did with his wild, dirty look he had been sporting on Paradis where his personal hygiene wasn't that much of a priority (but Reiner was always well groomed of course). Now though, he had to look at least somewhat presentable since he was both back in the civilized world as well as representing his country.

As he went along, he remembered the last interaction with Anteros he had before his departure.

"How sweet of you to take time to visit me before you leave on your big mission," The ethereal man said with a gentle smile, "I trust you passed on my message to sweet Addie?"

"I did," Zeke confirmed, "She wasn't receptive to it though."

Anteros' charm instantly dropped and he became accusatory, "Did you say anything to sway her?"

"No, of course not..."

"Hah..." The white haired, slender-framed man let out a breathy laugh, "She is frustratingly headstrong, isn't she? No matter... I'll find ways to pay her a visit now and then. With you gone, I won't have a liaison anymore, so I'll have to do it myself. Tybur supplied me with one of those red arm bands, so I can disguise myself as one of you swine, as horrible as that will be... but what else am I to do when her connection to me is gone? Hard to call you a connection she trusts, but it was close enough. After the incident and all, she no doubt had some change of heart towards you. But old habits will always die hard, we know all too well how stubborn she can be."

"I've done what I can to help the best I can," Zeke said, "I'll never fully be able to make amends, but I've done what I can. And will continue to."

"Oh and I'm sure she'll appreciate it so much," Anteros grinned, the sarcasm in his words was intentionally poorly concealed, and he dropped it into harsh mockery as he went on, "I suppose you're in a hurry to get going. Shame you won't be around for her birthday, but I'll be sure to tell her you send your best wishes to her."

Zeke's eyebrows furrowed curiously, "Birthday?"

"August 1st," Anteros informed him, which sent a shocking chill up Zeke's spine.

"That's..." Zeke began in disbelief, "That's the same as mine."

"Ohh..." Anteros cooed, "How very interesting... Perhaps that means you two were truly destined to meet? Like everything's meant to fall into place for us."

Zeke turned around and prepared to silently depart, but Anteros unexpectedly spoke up again, causing him to falter, enough so that the photos of Priss he had fell from his inner pocket.

"Perhaps I'll share that bit of info with her and she'll send you a nice little birthday letter? Wouldn't that be just so nice of her?" He mocked. Zeke didn't respond to him, instead he had quickly dropped to the floor to gather the peculiar something that fell from him after his stumble. Anteros of course noticed this and raised one of his arched eyebrows curiously, "Hm? What's that you got there?"

"It's nothing..." Zeke dismissed as he rose to his feet, but Anteros wasn't satisfied with Zeke's obvious lie. The man grabbed Zeke by the shoulder and spun him to face him, revealing the two photos in Zeke's hands.

The green eyes of Anteros grew wide with realization and a thoroughly amused smile appeared on his face. He couldn't hold himself back from chuckling at his lackey as he spoke, "Photos of my sweet Addie? Hm? One of these pictures of her is for her devil husband, isn't it? But why do you have two? Ohh, ohh don't tell me you got a copy for yourself, Yeager. Are you really so pathetic that you'd secretly carry that with you? And for what? As much as I despise him, I would love to see the look on that demon's face if he found out you were holding onto a photo of his wife."

Zeke was just about ready to collapse in on himself in humiliation, but Anteros was right. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Reiner would react if he discovered the secret photo he was keeping for himself as they went off to war. It was one thing for a man to keep a picture of his wife in his pocket as he marched off to slay his enemies – it's unquestionably romantic to keep that motivation to come home, that reason for what he's fighting for, close to his heart – but for another, lonely man who is pining for the same girl to do it, that just makes him an oddball creep.

"Well, how can I blame you? Look at that lovely smile she has..." Anteros went on with a smirk, admiring the beauty of his younger sister. His eyes flitted back up to Zeke, swiftly shifting to a cold gaze, "Part of me wants to take it from you... but I think it'll be far more interesting if you go ahead and keep it."

"Wow..."

Reiner marveled in awe at the stunning photo Zeke had given him as they sat in the interior of the zeppelin that was taking flight, just as he promised Priss he would. Reiner had seldom found a reason to feel so uplifted nowadays, not since that night where Zeke managed to get his beloved into the prison to see him briefly. This still image would be the only way he could see Priss for the foreseeable future, so he would protect it with his life. He didn't want to tear his gaze away from her beautiful smile, he had a life or death job to do so he couldn't just stare at it all day, but the imprint in his mind of that brilliant smile and glimmering eyes would stay with him vividly until he could steal a glance at the photo again. It was just the right size to fit in the pocket on the left side of his chest, so with a pleased smile, the blonde tucked it away in that spot over his heart and then pounded his fist against it.

"Thank you, Warchief Zeke," Reiner said gratefully, "You've done so much for us, I don't think just saying 'thank you' is enough."

"Just stay alive," Zeke replied somberly, "Stay alive and make sure you come home to that girl of yours, that's the best way you can thank me at this point."

Something about Zeke's tone roused a suspicious feeling in Reiner; his commander spoke with an air of sadness and Reiner couldn't help but call him out, "Warchief Zeke, something about you has changed recently. The way you talk about..."

"Huh? What do you mean? I'm just looking out for myself!" Zeke insisted, thrusting himself into being far too overly defensive, "If you died but I made it back home, I'd never hear the end of her shrieking about how it HAD to be my fault somehow. Day in, day out 'til the day I die, she'd just blame me over and over for your death, even though I wouldn't have anything to do with it. I wouldn't be able to stand her incessant whining, she's already bad enough, so make sure you live through this war and keep her mouth busy with something else."

Reiner was thrown off by what sounded like a sexual innuendo, whether it was intentional or not, but what was more strange was how Zeke had shifted from his bleak tone to an over the top defense that was closer to his older way of speaking about Priscilla – but Reiner could tell it was merely a mimicry of his old ways when it came to her. When Zeke had told him to 'stay alive and come home to that girl,' there was more to that which went unspoken but Reiner heard it all the same: come home and make her happy. Zeke's earnest wish for her to be happy draped in a dreary tone was telling that Zeke was feeling far differently than he used to about her, which Reiner had also noticed a few times when Zeke had spoken to him while he was imprisoned.

"...Did something happen between you two?" Reiner asked, unable to avoid directly asking at this point.

Zeke sighed, pained at the thought of what really did happen to cause his shift in his feelings, but he knew it wasn't his place to share it with Reiner – that was the agreement Zeke and Priscilla came to, "The time I spent with her getting her settled in, helping you two get married... changed my perspective. But make no mistake, it's not like she and I are best friends now. Far from it. I think that'd be Gabi."

"Oh, so they're getting along?" Reiner asked, his expression lightening again; he couldn't entirely shake the feeling that Zeke wasn't telling him the whole story though – the harder Zeke deflected, the more suspicious he came off as. Reiner knew with the utmost confidence that Priss wouldn't have done anything to lead Zeke on or do something unsavory behind his back while he was locked up, he knew her far too well to even think that could have happened; she had said herself Zeke had started acting strange the last time he saw her. Regardless, Reiner's curiosity about what was going on in Zeke's head had to wait.

"That'd be an understatement," Zeke replied, "Your cousin took to her right away, I think she sees her as something of a big sister."

"Makes sense," Said Reiner, "Gabi's an only child. I was absent for much of her life due to my Warrior training and mission on Paradis, so she's never had someone around to fill that role of an older sibling to look up to."

"I'm sure it'll be good for both of them," Zeke assured.

"That's good to hear..." Reiner's head suddenly sank, hanging forward as he stared at the floor, "I just don't want her to be alone."

Zeke gave Reiner a reassuring clap on the shoulder, "She won't be, and she'll be just fine until you get back and you both can be together again. Like I said, she has Gabi. Your mom too. I even asked my grandparents to help her out if she ever needs it... And who knows, maybe she'll make some friends."

Reiner let out a half hearted laugh and patted his hand on Zeke's in a show of camaraderie, "Thanks Warchief Zeke."

"Bah... just call me Zeke."

"Hah... It'll take a while but I think I can manage that. But I also imagine calling me Vice Chief Braun would be a hard adjustment for you to make after all this time of just calling me by 'Reiner' or 'Braun.'"

"That settles it then, keep it casual... Er, except when the situation calls for professionalism of course."

Reiner raised his head back up and gave Zeke a weak smile; the man wanted to stay optimistic, especially since the conversation was ending on a pretty good note, but he couldn't be entirely happy as he was being taken away from Priss once more – and now, further than ever. As Reiner smiled at Zeke, the Warchief's stomach lurched as words from Anteros came back to him.

"There's one more thing I want you to know, Yeager... Something I want you to think about every day for the rest of your human life."

That comment didn't just apply to when he saw Priscilla, but it was called to mind as he looked at Reiner in that moment too. He did whatever he could to push that awful feeling those words brought to mind as best he could; with Priss, it could be a bit easier since their interactions didn't always leave room for him to dwell on his wrongdoings, and now with a war to focus on, Zeke was sure he'd keep his mind on his mission and off of Anteros' haunting words that applied to Reiner as well. Zeke wondered just how long he could keep it to himself, though – he had no doubt in his mind that someday, as hard as he tried to hide the guilt, he wouldn't be able to contain it forever.

"...It's a shame you won't be there for her birthday, I'm sure she wants you there more than anyone," Zeke awkwardly added in, "Funny enough, I found out it's the same as mine."

"Huh, yours is August 1st too?" Reiner asked in disbelief, "It was already unbelievable that she and I were both born that day... but what are the odds all three of us were?"

Zeke went silent. He never had any reason to need to know Reiner's birthday, so it wasn't knowledge he had until now. It made him think back to what Anteros said about how Zeke and Priscilla having the same birthday may have meant the two of them were meant to meet, but it was unquestionable that the ones who were meant to meet and be together were Priss and Reiner. On the other hand, all of it could just be chalked up to a wild coincidence in the end. Yet, he still couldn't help but wonder... The serendipity surrounding all three of them coming together was beyond absurd. Reiner played a part in bringing Priss to Zeke, who was tasked with taking her to Marley by her brother – perhaps Anteros had a point after all.

"I wonder..." Reiner's voice was sullen and pulled Zeke from his introspection, "Where I'd be if I just ignored her on the street that day. No... more like, what would have happened to her. Where I'm at now, I can't imagine any sort of life without her. There is no life without her. What would have happened if I made the wrong choice?"

"You wouldn't have made the wrong choice," Zeke replied, "Seeing you two together makes it clear that there's no way you would have just walked away. Like you said, there is no life without her, and I know she'd say the same about you."

"Crazy thing is," Reiner went on, "I was never all that virtuous or brave before that moment, but from then on... I had something, someone, personal to protect."

Zeke sighed and looked upward, "She does have a way of inspiring change in people."

A flash of her innocent but goofy smile from their younger days ran through his mind as Reiner briefly reminisced. The moment where everything changed for them forever always brought a warm feeling to his heart, but inevitably he was lead back to the unfortunate circumstances she had fallen into when he wasn't there by her side. What he wouldn't give to be able to go back in time and kill that evil man. Reiner had no legitimate reason to blame himself for what happened to her, he had no idea where she had gone or gotten trapped in, but all the same he wished he could have done something.

"I just wish I could have done more for her back then."

Why do I still have this?

Priss stood in her kitchen, in her hands she held the baby name book that Gabi had brought to her that got left behind when she had her outburst. Thinking back on the event always made her chest tighten up – she hated that she wasn't able to control her emotions and how upset it made Gabi, but Priss had to wonder if there was any way she could have told the kid without upsetting her. One thing was for sure, she probably could have found a way to break it to Gabi more easily as opposed to having a meltdown, but her naturally volatile emotions would ensure that she couldn't stay calm over such a deeply devastating loss that was still fresh. Would she ever be able to address this in a level headed way? Only time will tell.

She was gripping the book so hard that her hands began to tremble as she stared down at it. A storm of emotions churned within her: anger, despair and even a bit of fear. With a sharp exhale she suddenly marched towards the garbage bin and raised the small book with one hand to dramatically spike it into the trash... well, she would have, but something gave her pause. Almost as if something had grabbed her by the wrist and was preventing her from throwing it down. Her eyes were fixed on the only place the stupid book belonged in but she just couldn't bring herself to toss it away.

"What's wrong with me?" Priss asked herself in a wavering voice, "It's a dumb thing to hold onto... I don't need it anymore... So why can't I just...?"

Her hands refused to stop shaking, and try as she might, she couldn't deny the fact that she felt the need to keep it. Priss slowly lowered her arm with it eventually limply falling to her side as she hung her head with a sigh. She couldn't tell if she should be disappointed in herself or not for being unable to discard what was objectively something useless to her. Why should she be afraid to get rid of it?

In the back of her mind, she believed there would always be another chance. As much as the odds were stacked against them, not even the tragic circumstance of losing their child could completely extinguish the hope of she and Reiner one day being able to have a baby. To get rid of that book was throwing that all away and she couldn't bear the though of that. She refused to abandon the faith she held. Instead of pushing the thought of a child away due to her loss and the idea put in her head about the genes she and Reiner had being incompatible with life, she embraced it. Priss held the book close to her chest and headed for her room, where she slipped it under her pillow so it would always be nearby. She considered maybe reading through it a bit, thinking maybe it'd be fun or soothing, but she elected not too. Even though the hope for a baby with Reiner was still alive in her, thinking about it too much now would definitely be too soon.

Regardless, she cracked a tiny smile, "Hopefully Gabi doesn't want it back just yet..." Now that her mind was on that vibrant kid, she couldn't help but wonder how she was doing. She also remembered the packet of flower seeds Gabi had brought her and how they still had to plant them, only problem being that Priscilla didn't have any gardening tools. She hummed to herself contemplatively; she wasn't thrilled at the idea of asking Karina if she had any, interacting with her at all wasn't an opportunity she was eager to jump on. This left her with the other source of help she had been explicitly offered: The Yeagers. Zeke didn't get a chance to formally introduce them, but he made sure that addresses a phone numbers were exchanged and encouraged his grandparents to reach out to her, and vice versa.

"I wonder if they'll be as hostile to me as Karina was," She mumbled, "Still... help is help, I guess. Won't hurt to ever ask. So he claims."

Now wasn't the time to worry about that though, if the only reason she felt like reaching out to someone was for gardening supplies then that was way far down on the list of priorities; it was a purely leisure activity, in theory anyway, in practice it would be work but still within the realm of a hobby or pass time. The flower seeds could wait. She then glanced over to the window by her bed; the afternoon sun was still high in the sky. When she had spent time outside earlier the weather was pleasant, so she figured that maybe a walk through town would be a good way to spend her time. She had taken notice of some charming looking outdoor street markets before but never went and explored them properly.

With her plan in mind, she grabbed her armband off the top of her dresser and slipped it on. Wearing it had quickly become more natural and easy to remember, which was good because she wouldn't even have the chance of someone bailing her out like Zeke happened to previously. Even though she had seen some small amount of women on the street without their hair covered, she still opted to cover up even though it was her least favorite part of her ensemble – perhaps in the future she would go without it, but for now she told herself it was helping her not attract as much attention than if she weren't wearing it.

Maybe I should get a haircut she thought. Not only was the color of her hair abnormal, but it's significant length stood out too.

Priss threw her worries about wearing the scarf and general thoughts about her hair into the back of her mind until another day. She didn't plan to go out for too long, she hadn't received her first round military spousal support income yet so it wasn't like she had money to throw around anyway. She traveled through the streets until she came upon the avenue that was populated with small vendors and their quaint wares. The girl was attracted to a stall where an older woman appeared to be selling hand crafted jewelry made from simple materials, not fancy by any stretch of the imagination, but everything still looked pretty darn cute.

Upon seeing a potential customer start looking over her merchandise, the woman running the stall greeted Priss warmly, "Good day miss," she said with a warm smile, "See anything you like? The woven bracelets are discounted today."

"Ohh I'm just browsing for now," Priss responded. She admittedly started to feel a bit embarrassed over the fact that she didn't intend to buy anything since naturally the seller would expect her to, "I hope that's alright. Everything you have here looks real nice though."

"Don't worry about it, miss. I don't mind people just taking a look," The woman assured her.

Priss laughed lightly, "When I have some cash to spare I'll definitely have to buy something from you. I like the look of those necklaces..."

"Why don't I treat you to one?"

A chill ran up Priscilla's spine as a familiar voice whispered in her ear, one that she didn't expect to hear within the safe confines of Liberio. She suddenly felt his looming presence beside her, standing uncomfortably close to her; he had come up so unbelievably swiftly and quietly that it was like he was a ghost.

Priss kept her eyes forward, she didn't want to reveal the fright in her eyes over the unexpected appearance of her brother, "What are you doing here...?"

Even though she wasn't looking at him, she could just tell his mouth had curled into a dark grin. As if things weren't already bad enough, he casually wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Why, can't a man spoil his dearest love?" He asked, "Though... all this seems a bit low class, don't you think? I could take you to a real jeweler."

The vendor looked equal parts shocked as she did offended by his comments and Priss felt horrifically embarrassed and guilty, even though it wasn't her fault that her piece of shit brother spoke so flippantly.

"I'm sorry!" Priss exclaimed, shrugging off his arm and stepping away while still keeping her gaze off him, "This man is an utter jackass. I'll come back another time, ma'am... I'm, I'm so sorry about him."

Before the woman could fathom a response, Priss walked off with her head down. Predictably, Anteros was close behind her and she could feel his cruel eyes on the back of her head – he would not be shaken off.

Not here... she thought as panic continued to set in, how could he be here?

She never would have expected him to show up in the Eldian Internment Zone even though Zeke warned her that if Anteros wanted her, he would find a way to get to her.

"Truly a lovely day for a walk," She heard him say, feeling him walking beside her now as he matched her pace, "I imagine you're feeling lonely, aren't you? The war has begun and your devil husband is gone... but you're lucky that you have such a loving brother who would go through the trouble of traveling to this sad ghetto just to see you. To lower myself from my luxurious surroundings and come here just for you. Really Addie, you should be more appreciative of what I do for you."

Without warning, his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her close to him, "You don't honestly think living here is better than what I could offer you?"

"I promise you, it's way fucking better than whatever that would be," She sneered at him, "And I seriously think you should get your hands off me."

"Oh? Or what, dear sister?"