Name: Blaise Debeste

Vehicle: Red Reaper (The son that Blaise never had; this motorcycle has been the death of countless dogs, cats, and toddlers who had the misfortune of walking on the wrong street, sidewalk, public park, or- in one case- beach at the wrong time.)

Vehicle Armor: 1/5 (What's the point of investing in defense when everyone who's out to get you ends up disappearing before they can even lift a finger to do so?)

Vehicle Speed: 6/5 (From decades of experience as a prosecutor and felon with a rap sheet longer than a Christmas dinner grocery list, Blaise will be the first to tell you that even a little extra speed can mean the difference between escaping a lifetime prison sentence and being caught at the scene of the crime like an idiot. As such, Blaise has made it a point to upgrade Red Reaper to be the fastest vehicle in 20 countries.)

Vehicle Handling: Tight (While slightly less noticeable than vehicle speed, one can't deny the utility of being able to swerve in and out of traffic or easily navigate through a dark alley when escaping a crime scene. Plus, if you're chasing down your idiot son on your hog for fun, there's no better feeling than him gaining a glimmer of hope in his eye when he jumps out of the way, only for it to quickly disappear when you effortlessly turn the motorcycle around and simply try again.)

Special Weapon: ?/5 (The Magician- W-Wait! A NUKE!? Is that even allowed…? It IS?! Well folks, I hope you've enjoyed my lovely commentary on all of these stats because it'll probably be the last time you'll hear from me since we're apparently allowing a sadistic psychopath with an obvious grudge against this show to use a miniature nuclear warhead with enough firepower to level an entire city and more!)

Bio: I can't believe that they gave my powers and show to some prissy little snob who thinks he's hot shit just 'cause he killed a guy with a bottle, poisoned another, and ruined the career of an upstanding goody-goody. Y'know what I called that before Edgeworth put me in jail? A Tuesday! Well, that doesn't matter, 'cause y'see, once I get my wish, this'll all disappear and everything will go back to normal.

Inside Kristoph's dirigible, the host of Debauched Steel can't help but smirk as he enjoys his bird's eye view of his demolition derby from the comfort of his purple armchair, a good book- Machiavelli's The Prince, to be exact- in one hand and a tall glass of red wine in the other. But despite the satisfaction Kristoph is deriving from seeing many of his self-righteous and annoyingly idealistic enemies fighting to the death over a wish, he can't help but feel… unfulfilled. Though the ex-defense attorney for the life of him can't figure out why.

Thanks to these powers, Kristoph could have anything his heart desires. If he wanted a billion dollars, he could snap his fingers and he'd have more money than he'd know what to do with; if he wished to know any detail pertaining to his universe, all he'd have to do is focus on the thought and all of his questions would be instantly answered, no matter how trivial; if he wanted a sea of screaming fans, with a wave of his hands, he could materialize a hoard of frenzy followers that would make his brother's legions of fangirls look like a small book club by comparison. Heck, if Kristoph wanted to, he could kill and revive his most hated enemies for as long as he desired.

Though even before receiving his powers, Kristoph had it all- intelligence, money, influence, good looks, a great sense of style, a charming personality, and the admiration of his friends and family… well, at least until the day of that trial- a trial in which his entire life was ruined thanks to a single playing card that should never have existed.

Kristoph takes his eyes off the destruction and carnage unfolding beneath his dirigible so that he can stare down at his glass of wine, gently twisting his wrist to and fro so as to watch the sanguine liquid swirl about like a choppy sea.

What a cruel, hypocritical world I live in… Kristoph sighs, a heavy sorrow filling his eyes. I ruin Wright's career with forged evidence out of anger, an impulsive desire for revenge against a stranger who stole my shot at glory with blind luck, and they view me as the scum of the earth; yet when Wright does the exact same thing as a calculated move against a man who showed him nothing but friendship and kindness for seven years, they deem him a hero… Maybe that's why I can't help but feel morose despite effectively becoming the ruler of a universe. After all, what good is it to bend reality to your will when you can't change the esta-

However, before Kristoph can finish his thought, he's interrupted by a deafeningly-loud booming noise as his dirigible violently shakes, resulting in him nearly falling out of his chair.

"What the heck was that?!" Kristoph exclaims, getting up out of his chair to get a better look at the ground below, only to see that the entire combat area has been completely leveled, the sprawling arena that once housed a variety of buildings, walls, and tunnels for the contestants to use to their advantage now contains only rubble, smoldering metal heaps that were contestant vehicles, and a motorcycle speeding around the space- most likely the winner given that it's the only thing moving in the general area down there.

So with the competition effectively over, Kristoph snaps his fingers, prompting his dirigible to fly over to the road where he will meet the winner of Debauched Steel so that he can give them their reward: the ability to wish for anything their heart desires.

After waiting for a few minutes on a bench off to the side of the road, Kristoph is greeted by the loud roar of Blaise's motorcycle as the ex-PIC chairman rides up to him, prompting him to get up from his seat.

"Congratulations on your victory, Mr. Debeste." Kristoph states with a warm grin. "But before you ask, I'm not giving you your show back. I may have looks, but I'm no idiot."

"Coming from the guy who took nearly four months to release an episode?" Blaise sneers.

"I'll admit that there were some slight… delays in getting this episode out, but it's not my fault that I had to contend with technical difficulties." Kristoph defensively snaps as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Riiight..." Blaise replies with a roll of his eyes before proceeding to play with his lighter. "Y'see, it may have been nearly five years since I was in charge, but I know how things work around here, and I know that they're not working so well for you, Gavin." The ex-P.I.C. Chairman cackles. "That's why this shows on the verge of ending."

"N-Nonsense." Kristoph curtly responds, pushing his glasses up to hide the nervous look forming on his face. "Debauched Steel is far from over."

"Don't play dumb with me, Gavin" Blaise cackles. "Y'know just as much as I do that while those powers make you the strongest being in our universe, at the end of the day, you're just a pawn in his little game- a game that he plays for his amusement and that of others. Y'see, even though I no longer have those powers, if he wants me or anyone else to know or do something for the sake of dialogue or to make things interesting, then he'll make them know or do it. That's how I know how long this show's been going on and that he's getting ready to end things off by having the new host interacting with the old one as one of the final episodes, but not before having a somber chapter that explorers our purpose in the grand scheme of things and the epic confrontation between you and your arch nemesis. Easy as that. That's why you don't have to worry about me wishing for Pick Your Poison! back."

"You're not?" Kristoph asks, cocking his head to the side out of confusion.

"Of course I'm not. If I did and you accepted the wish, then Pick Your Poison! Would be canceled right before the first punishment and I'd be left with n-nothing…" Blaise whimpers, pulling on his fake beard as his goggles start to fill up with tears. "That's why I'm wishing that we swap bodies- I become you and you become me." Blaise smirks as he empties the tears from his goggles. "A pretty good deal if you ask me, y'know? I get my powers back, you get a handsome bod, and everyone goes home a winner."

"Except for me!" Kristoph snarls, glaring daggers at the ex-P.I.C. Chairman. "What on earth makes you think that I would ever grant a ridiculous wish like that?"

"What on earth makes you think that you have a choice in the matter, Gavin? Y'see, as you've probably learned, he likes to make things interesting. And what better way to do so then by doing this?" Blaise sneers as both of their bodies begin to glow. "And so it begins…"

Before Kristoph can object, a glowing ball of lavender energy emerges from his chest, rendering him unconscious as an identical orb in every way except it being sanguine in color and radiating a black mist leaves Blaise's body. After floating in place for a few seconds, the orbs speed into the air, spinning around each other- slowly at first, but speeding up until they were nothing but two blurs- before quickly entering the bodies that weren't their own in a

"No…! This can't be happening!" The demented host shouts, springing to his feet as the light diminishes, only to find himself standing face-to-face with his own body.

"Oh, it's happening, Gavin." Blaise states with the same condescending headshake that Kristoph himself had done so many times as he get up off of the ground. "Sure, this body's a bit girly for my tastes, but y'see, that's a small price to pay if it means that I can do something like this again!"

Blaise raises his arms in the air, causing bolts of electricity to stream between his hands, emitting a blinding light.

When the light fades, Kristoph finds himself on the Big Tower's rooftop observation deck, which is in perfect condition- as if he never destroyed it or the rest of Los Angeles as part of his show. But before the ex-defense attorney can take in his surrounding or come to terms with how Blaise has forced him out of his perfect, god-like body and into his own decrepit, ungroomed one (which Kristoph is all but certain has more STDs than a brothel toilet seat given how his crotch is currently burning more than his hatred for Phoenix ever did), he's snapped back to reality by a loud, bellowing screech as he finds himself face-up on the ground, his waist pinned in place by a large blueish-yellow talon.

Looking up, Kristoph's able to get a good look at the creature attacking him: Polly the parrot, the very same bird that helped Phoenix take down Manfred von Karma, only instead of being the small, demure-looking pet that he read about in the file for that case, this beast appears to be at least half as tall as the Big Tower with ruffled, unkempt feathers and a long, jagged beak, making it appear as some kind of prehistoric monstrosity. Though what's even more unnerving than the giant bird's size or appearance is it eyes- black as pitch and devoid of all emotion… well, except for hunger as it stares down at Kristoph as one would eye their next meal.

With another screech, Polly lunges her open beak down at Kristoph's head in an attempt to consume it not unlike how one would go about plucking and eating a berry. However, while Kristoph may no longer be in his body, he's still in possession of his razor-sharp intellect and quick wit, thus allowing him to waste no time in grabbing Blaise's lighter from a pocket inside of his jacket and using it to fire a torrent of flames directly into Polly's face, causing the monstrous bird to stumble back and release her grip on him as she violently shakes her head in an attempt to extinguish the flames.

Taking advantage of Polly's distracted state, Kristoph dashes into the nearest stairwell and makes his way towards the tower's ground floor. However, before the ex-defense attorney can even think of lowering his guard, he hears a furious squawk before feeling a sizable object hit him square in the back, causing him to roll down half a flight of stairs, followed by the feeling of something constantly jabbing him between his shoulder blades.

After quickly jumping to his feet and a surprising amount of struggling, Kristoph is able to remove the object from his back, revealing it to be Rifle, a Little Penguin that was involved in another one of Phoenix's trials, who, despite being in the ex-attorney's grasp, continues to fight by attempting to peck at his face, resulting in him releasing his grip on the aggressive bird, allowing it to land safely on its feet as he falls down another half-flight of stairs.

Getting back up on his feet again, Kristoph hears Rifle squawk once more, and upon looking up the stairs, sees her rushing after him at an alarmingly swift pace. So in order to avoid a repeat of what happened just seconds prior, the ex-defense attorney sprints down to ground-level and out of the Big Tower as fast as his legs can carry him, a smirk spreading across his face as Rifle runs headfirst into the building's glass doors as they close behind him, rendering her unconscious. But any semblance of joy that Kristoph feels is once again short-lived as upon walking out into the street, Polly's bellowing shriek can be heard as she takes flight from the tower's roof, the flames that had saved him having been extinguished, and dives down towards him.

Though fortunately for Kristoph, Polly won't be able to catch him so easily this time on account of how he spots Blaise's motorcycle parked close to his position, but right as he starts the engine, he's greeted to the sound of the radio blaring Nicki Minaj's Anaconda. However, before the song can get past the first 'my anaconda don't', it's abruptly ended by Kristoph ripping the small radio out of the bike with one swift pull.

"Not this time, Debeste!" Kristoph snarls, tossing the radio off to the side before speeding off away from Polly, weaving back and forth to dodge her talons until riding into an alley that's too narrow for her to enter.

But like in the Grand Tower's stairway, even though Kristoph is successful in escaping from Polly for the time being, a new threat quickly rises up to take her place, this time making itself present in the form of the sound of a smashing pot coming from behind the motorcycle. Though when Kristoph glances back to see what the source of the sound was, he can hardly believe what he's seeing and almost crashes the motorcycle out of pure shock.

Keeping pace with the motorcycle is Cracker, a macaw that played a role in yet another one of Phoenix's cases, though while the creature's feathers may have the same yellow and blue coloration that he's familiar with thanks to the omniscience that his powers provided for him, its body is now that of a large raptor with its wings replaced by a pair of black gaunt, yet strong arms. Though what's even more shocking is that fact that Money the Monkey is riding Cracker like a noble steed and is trying to pelt him with an endless supply of potted Charlies that he's pulling out of a pouch attached to the macaw/raptor's side.

"Really, Debeste?" Kristoph irritably questions as he slightly weaves back and forth in alley to dodge the Charlies being thrown his way. "My show may have had its fair share of delays when it comes to releasing episodes, but I've never had to resort to using characters from that mediocre cross-over that was a glorified Professor Layton game that treated our series as a mere gameplay gimmick. But I shouldn't have expected anything different from- Aaaah! Get them off! Get them off!" The ex-defense attorney screams as he rides out of the army, only to be immediately swarmed by a flock of the little birds that followed Acro around, using one arm in a vain attempt to fend them off and keep them from pecking at his face while using the other to control the motorcycle.

Unfortunately for Kristoph, in his distracted state, he doesn't realize that he's at the city's harbor until he rides up a makeshift ramp comprised of crates and a long piece of rusty sheet metal right next to the water until he finds himself airborne. But before the ex-defense attorney can fall into the bay, Polly swoops in and grabs him with one of her talons, resulting in him releasing his grip on the motorcycle. As the motorcycle falls into the depths and sinks out of sight, Polly flies Kristoph high into the air.

Though right as Polly attempts to eat Kristoph once again, she's stopped by a massive version of Orla rivaling her in size leaping up from the water and sinking her sharp teeth into the monstrous bird's torso. Of course, Polly frantically wriggles about and rapidly flaps her wings in an attempt to escape, but no matter how much she struggles and fights, she can't shake the mighty orca off. Eventually, Orla's weight proves too much for Polly to handle, resulting in her, and by extension Kristoph, falling into the water before being dragged down into the cold, dark depths to become just another meal.

Meanwhile, Blaise is watching what's happening to Kristoph on a monitor that he spawned into the area, turning it off as soon as the ex-defense attorney is dragged underwater by Orla and turning to face the camera.

"And here I thought that suggestion from FranzyPearlFan was good for nothing…" Blaise chuckles with crossed arms as he turns to face the camera. "Well, I hope you liked that punishment, viewers, 'cause y'see, there's gonna be plenty more where that came from now that I'm running the show once more." The ex-P.I.C. Chairman smirks, reverting his body to its original form with a snap of his fingers. "I am Blaise Debeste, and I welcome you to Pick Your Poison! 2."

A puff of smoke then appears as Blaise Debeste vanishes into thin air.

A/N: I would like to thank Aeliren85, Engardian, and s3731997 for suggesting the idea for this chapter.