"So – what exactly is going on with you and the Commander?" Dorian's voice startled Ellana from her late afternoon nap.

She sleepily lifted her head off the pillow to glance at him as he walked over to her bed and gently sat down on the side. "Not now, Dorian." She mumbled.

A raised eyebrow told her she'd be required to provide much more than that for him to back off the subject. He continued to stare at her, quickly rejecting her plea for dismissing the topic. Ellana lifted herself up to sit on the bed with Dorian and recalled the earlier events of their return to Skyhold…

Cheering – there had been lots of cheering. The majority of Inquisition members thought Ellana had been travelling across Orlais and Ferelden for diplomatic relations; only a select few knew of their journey to Nevarra. It had been several weeks since their departure however, and the soldiers always gave her a boisterous welcome after such an extended absence. The fact that their Commander had been travelling with her this time had only furthered the celebrations of their return.

There had also been confusion – a lot of that as well. They had returned with two additional companions: both Elven and both mages. That had certainly startled the Inquisition folks. Leliana and Josephine requested a War Room meeting to debrief. Ellana had wanted to skip it, but begrudgingly pulled herself towards the main castle hall.

Oh, it was uncomfortable. Ellana updated Leliana and Josephine on the status of Avexis and Silvhen: that they were her sister and past lover. The eyes of the two women quickly shot to Cullen for his opinion on the matter, only to find that he had been ignoring the conversation and studying the map – or, attempting to look as though he had been ignoring the conversation. Josephine wanted to set up a small get together for the five of them to celebrate Ellana's cure, jokingly mentioning that she would refrain from organizing the event this evening – as she was sure Ellana and Cullen would prefer some alone time. Her innuendo was accompanied by a wink, clearly driving the message home and leaving no room for error in what she spoke of.

Ellana blushed and mentioned she was tired, looking forward to an early night's rest. Cullen lowered his eyes and mumbled something about checking in with the recruits.

Leliana's eagle eyes caught everything – and this was no exception. Ellana caught the Spy-Master scrutinizing her awkward facial expressions while glancing at Cullen. She also noticed Ellana pull her arm back in haste when Cullen shuffled past her upon exiting the room – she had mistakenly assumed he was reaching out to grab her. 'Fantastic,' Ellana scowled, 'they're all caught up.'

Dorian must have been speaking to Cassandra – that's the only one who would have mentioned something to him. "Have you already heard everything?" She glanced over at her friend and laid her head on his shoulder, "Please do not make me recount details you already know. It is too painful."

"He didn't tell me anything, I could just tell from his face. Along with the fact that he's not in here with you right now… clearly, there is something going on."

Cullen. Ellana sighed and slowly recounted all of her deepest thoughts and fears over the past few months. She told Dorian of the dreams she had been having – how they had switched from lovely picturesque cabin in the woods to unimaginable horrors with blood dripping down her forehead. She told everything to him and felt exhaustion wash over her as the last few words escaped her lips.

Dorian reached out and pulled her into a hug; he didn't know what to say. After a few moments he quietly whispered, "Do you still love him?"

Ellana threw a disgruntled look at him, "Of course I do. I just feel… I feel exhausted and confused and… like I'm losing my mind, honestly – but yes, I still love him. Completely."

"Then you'll work through the other things." Dorian waved off the look of frustration growing in Ellana's face, "I know – it's not that easy; but it also doesn't have to be that difficult. You're madly in love with the man! He's madly in love with you. You'll figure it out! Deal with this after you've handled that annoying little man perched in Orlais and his horrid cousin. You two have bigger fish to fry, my Dear."

Ellana threw herself back on the bed. "Creators, Dorian… I had forgotten about that. With everything else going on… Fenedhis! I am a fool… I haven't even talked to Cullen about it."

"Consider what I've said." Dorian stood up and prepared to take his departure. "Don't lose something that makes you so happy because it comes with complications – however difficult those complications may appear."

Ellana climbed into her bed and hid herself underneath the covers, intending to remain there for the rest of the evening and avoid any further communication.

The next morning, one of the Skyhold servants lightly knocked on Ellana's door which startled her from her sleep. "Good Morning, Miss." A small Elf bowed towards Ellana – she must be new, Ellana didn't recognize her. "Lady Montilyet has requested your presence in her office, immediately." Ellana grumbled and pulled herself out of bed.

"The first morning back," Ellana called out to Josephine as she entered her office, "You can't let me sleep in for one morning. Josephine, how much you must detest me!" She laughed until her eyes landed on Cullen, who was seated in one of Josephine's chair by the fireplace. Suddenly, Ellana noticed Cassandra and Leliana were in the room as well.

"My apologizes, Inquisitor. There are…" Josephine started.

"Pressing matters." Ellana finished for her, "I can tell. What is going on?"

Josephine scrunched up her face, "Well… the Emperor has heard of your return to Skyhold. He requests your presence in the Winter Palace later this week. He, ah…" she lowered her eyes.

"He wants to make the announcement." Ellana once again finished the sentence, knowing all too well where this was going. "Of our engagement, along with…" she signaled towards the Commander, unwilling to make eye contact with him.

"He does." Josephine nodded.

The room fell quiet and everyone cast their eyes in a different direction. Ellana sat down in one of Josephine's chairs and stared into the fireplace. She hadn't prepared for this decision to be made so quickly. "Can we stall?" she knew the answer, but had to ask.

"It would certainly signal that there is an issue…" Josephine was recommending against it. Ellana expected as much.

Cullen's voice startled Ellana and she turned to look at him as he quietly spoke, "I will proceed in whichever direction you feel is best, Inquisitor." His eyes met Ellana's and she found a surprising amount of emotion buried beneath his amber irises; there was a burning fire within. Where his words conveyed his acceptance of his fate, his eyes were pleading with her to provide some sort of comfort – assurance that she wouldn't force him to go through with this… that she, herself, wouldn't go through with this.

"I – I haven't decided how to proceed." She quickly stood up. "We'll depart for the Winter Palace in two days. I'll have my decision on what we'll say by the end of day tomorrow. I need some time to think."

After she left Josephine's office, she found herself instinctively walking to the stables. She quickly mounted her horse and told the Skyhold guard that she would be out for the majority of the day and likely tomorrow.

Hours later, she found herself surprised at her chosen location for some quiet meditation. Haven. She stood before the rumble of Haven and found herself longing for the early Inquisition days when they were stationed here. She jumped off her horse and started to trek through the pile of bricks and wooden planks to make her way towards the old campsite. She dropped to her knees at finding an old Inquisition banner lying on the ground, covered in dust, and allowed tears to slowly fall down her cheeks as she gave in and allowed the melancholy to wash over her.

…..

"What do you mean she left without telling the guard her whereabouts?" Cullen was angrily snapping at one of his men. Ellana had been gone for two days – they were to leave for Orlais any minute now and she was nowhere to be seen.

"I am sure that she will return shortly." Leliana smiled.

Cullen gave the recruit an angry glare, "She had better. If something has happened to our Inquisitor because of Thomas' stupidity in failing to ask for her intended destination…"

"You know very well that if Ellana didn't want to share her location, she wouldn't have." Leliana placed a hand on Cullen's arm. "She is fine and will be returning shortly, you will see."

Sure enough, Cullen heard the main Skyhold gates opening around an hour later. Relief and anxiety instantly flooded him upon seeing her blonde hair furiously blowing around in the wind; he was glad to see that she was safe, yet dreaded her response to how they would handle Gaspard and Celene.

He felt his heart quicken as he walked down the stone stairs, nearing the main gates to greet her and prepare for their departure. The moment he saw her quickly drop her eyes to avoid his gaze, he knew.

"So, it is decided." He whispered to her once the distance between them was but a mere few inches.

"I'm sorry, Cullen." Her hands were grasped into tight fists. "I can't find a way out of this, where we're not placing everyone in Skyhold in danger. At least I'll be miserable with you."

"In no way does that make this better." He reached out for her hand and let out of a sigh of relief when she allowed him to lightly gaze her fingers. "I would accept far worse to save you from this sentencing; far worse, my love."

His heart ached as she pulled back her fingers and turned to look at Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine. They were ready to depart. Ellana mounted her horse and took a deep breath of fresh air as she rode past the Skyhold gates. This may be the last taste of freedom she would experience for quite some time.