August 2021
Anna looked up from her book when she heard Timmy's laugh and happy shrieks. They had been on vacation in Mary's and Matthew's beach house in Cornwall for about a week. The last weeks at the hospital had been as strenuous as ever. There were still occasional Covid clusters here and there, despite the vaccination campaign moving on, and the Indian variant was still a worrying prospect looming over their heads. Anna had almost had to cancel a part of her planned holidays, when the HR had asked for volunteers to take extra shifts. But John had put his foot down. Anna had not had any proper time off for over a year, it was high time she let the hospital fend for itself for a while. So here they were finally, in the house Mary and Matthew had lent them for two weeks. A few yards away from her folding chair, John and Timmy had built a sand castle that was now being slowly destroyed by the upcoming high tide, causing Timmy's yells. She smiled at seeing them so happy together. One could say that they had really found each other. No one who didn't know them, looking at them in their daily life, could have guessed that they were not biological father and son. She often regretted not having met John sooner. He had told her several times, that he would have loved being there to see him grow up from his birth. Anna was sure John would be a great father to a little baby. He was so kind and caring. The picture of John holding a small baby in his arms, a look of utter joy on his face materialized before her eyes, and the seed of a new need started growing in her heart. They had only just started on the adoption request file, and it all but looked like it would be a long and complicated process. She had thought at first that they would wait for Timmy to be officially theirs both before starting on a new baby project, but right now she wondered if she would have the patience. Anyway they had not discussed the baby topic since that day when they had visited John's home for the first time, months ago.
Moments later, when the castle had been completely erased, John and Timmy came back to the place they had laid out their towels.
- So? said Anna. I bet the sea won that fight again?
- Yes, said Timmy. But it was fun!
Anna looked at her watch.
- Shall we go home? I think it's time for a little boy's shower!
Timmy frowned.
- Already? But we only just started playing!
At that, John made a mock exhausted face:
- Are you kidding me lad?! We've been on that beach for three hours!
- Come on Timmy, repeated Anna, getting up and starting to put their stuff in the beach bag. Time to go back.
As the boy started whining, John sent a look to Anna, and suggested casually:
- Hey, how would you like we ordered pizza for dinner?
- Oh yay! screamed the boy, forgetting his complaint from the moment before.
Later that evening, John and Anna were lounging on the master bedroom's balcony. Timmy had been asleep for half-an-hour, well worn out by a day at the beach and sated by a large chunk of pizza. As she enjoyed the sunset-on-the-sea view, Anna mused:
- Isn't it nice to have rich friends?
She was of course referring to the terrific house they were spending their holidays in, a kind of house they could hardly afford if they had had to rent it.
- Sunset on the sea is free for everyone to watch, pointed John. I know I would be happy anywhere as long as you're next to me.
She beamed at him:
- Of course my darling. Me too. But still, she winked, the big balcony and the pool are not disagreeable.
- I can't say they are, he agreed.
John went back to his book, while Anna sipped a bit of her tea. A moment later, she looked back to John, and said almost shyly:
- John?
- Hmm? he replied distractedly.
- I was thinking, earlier on the beach…
- About what sweetheart?
- About how I wanted to see you holding our own little baby. About how I wanted a baby with you.
At those words, the book soon was forgotten on the table, and John looked intently back at Anna:
- Oh. Well I do want a baby with you too. But I thought you were not in any hurry about that? I thought you wanted to wait?
- I don't know any more. I told myself I'd prefer to wait until Timmy's adoption is complete, but how long is this going to take? It seems like an endless process. Earlier on the beach, I felt like I wanted to do it right now.
- Like right now, right now? Should we move that conversation to the bed?
Anna laughed.
- No, not like today… Anyway you know I have a contraceptive implant, so even if we wanted, I'd have to have it removed before we had any chance of success. How long do you figure the adoption thing is going to take?
- Well… Matthew seemed to think it could drag on for a year or maybe even more…
Anna made a desperate look and sighed heavily.
- I wished things could be as simple as Timmy saw them. We could go to the judge tomorrow, tell them we're all agreed and sign the papers and we're done. Why does real life have to be so complicated…
John gave her a look of sympathy.
- I wished it would go faster too. Even more than you I guess. I'm the one who could still lose Timmy if you ever decided to take him away. Or if anything happened to you.
- Yeah, you're right. I have no right to complain.
- That's not what I meant darling. We're in this together. We both can't wait. No, the three of us can't wait, he corrected, remembering how Timmy regularly pestered them to know when they were going to go see the judge.
- Maybe… we could wait till the end of the year, and see where we're standing with the adoption file. And see if we'd like to start on the baby project?
- Alright, sounds good to me.
They exchanged a loving smile, that transformed into a cheeky grin on Anna's face when she said:
- So, about moving that conversation to the bed…
- Yes? replied John, one eyebrow raised.
- Shall we?
- Your wish is my command Milady, he said, getting up and offering his hand out to her.
x x x x
Anna sighed as she desperately shuffled through the high stack of paper sheets that constituted the adoption file.
- Just how many different papers can one be asked to provide? she asked in an annoyed tone. Soon they'll be asking for my great-aunt Patricia's marks on her GCSE!
Matthew laughed at her outburst.
- I know it's tedious. But I think we're close to gathering everything we need?
- Yes, we are. I'm just waiting to receive my Army file, added John.
- Alright, then we'll send the complete file, and we'll be in touch with the Child Services, to arrange an appointment with one of their social workers. They'll want to interview each of you separately, and also Timmy, alone.
- Alright, sighed Anna. Do you know how long it takes to have an appointment?
- A few weeks I daresay. Maybe a month or two.
- Jesus… said Anna impatiently.
- Well, there is an emergency procedure, but I really don't think you'll want to be needing it.
- Why?
- It's used to secure a child's future when one of the requiring adults is seriously ill and in danger of dying in the short term.
- Oh. Well, yes, we can't complain we're not eligible then, she admitted.
- There's one more thing, added Matthew.
- What is it? asked John.
- I gather you have no plan on getting married?
- No, replied Anna. Why?
- Well, it's just that the process is usually faster, especially the social inquiry, and the judges are usually better-disposed towards requiring couples who are married, or in the process of getting married, or at least have formed a civil union.
- Oh, she stated.
- It might sound foolish, but I'm afraid social services are still a bit old-fashioned.
- Thank you for having us informed Matthew, said John.
- So, you'll forward the last papers to me, and I'll have it sent to social services right away?
- Yes, I will do, concluded John.
x x x x
Late September 2021
Anna was pacing back and forth in her living-room, straightening the cushions on the couch, picking up stray things here and there and putting them away. The social worker was scheduled to arrive any minute now for her first interview. Timmy was at school, and John was at the Abbey working. She was feeling very nervous, uncomfortable to find herself under the Child services' scrutiny for the first time in her life. She startled when the doorbell rang.
- Hello, are you Miss Smith? asked the middle-aged lady.
- Yes, I am, hello, Mrs…
- Mrs Williams, from Child Services. We have an appointment I believe.
- Yes, absolutely, come in please.
As she entered the living-room, Mrs Williams looked around the house and Anna was a bit reassured that their home seemed to make a good first impression on her.
- Would you like a cup of tea? she asked her visitor. Coffee? Water?
Minutes later, both women were seated at the dining-room table, sharing a cup of tea. Mrs Williams had laid out their adoption request in front of her, and started:
- Ms Smith, I can see you are nervous. Don't worry, I am not here to trick you or to have you pass an examination. Our sole concern is the child's safety and well-being. We only want to know if it is safe to grant Mr Bates parental rights to your son. So, please, relax.
Her smile seemed genuine, and Anna felt herself relax a bit indeed.
- Thank you. I'm sorry, yes, I am a bit nervous about all that. We want to be a real family very much.
- Very good. I'm sure nothing will come in the way of that. So, tell me a little about your and Timmy's history. You have always been a single mother before now, I believe? And you're a doctor at the hospital? That must have been a challenge to handle?
Anna answered Mrs Williams's questions for a while. The social worker seemed genuinely interested and benevolent, and with a little time, Anna almost felt like she was talking to a friend. They talked over her pregnancy, Timmy's early childhood, the makeshift family she had crafted for her and her son, for lack of a real family. Mrs Williams seemed impressed with her resilience and how well she had organized their daily life. They then tackled her relationship with John and how it had evolved. Anna explained to her how John had got along very well with Timmy from the beginning, how he had committed very quickly to helping her taking care of him. How he had volunteered to come look after him during the January lockdown, how he had caught Covid while taking him to the hospital, how he had taken on teaching him how to play guitar, and every detail she could think of to illustrate how she thought John was being a real father to the boy. She even showed her the video of them singing "Cover me in sunshine" that she still kept on her phone. Mrs Williams listened attentively and made plenty of notes on her notebook. Then she asked to have a look around the house, and after a little less than an hour, she was gathering her file back and packing.
- Very well, Ms Smith. I think I have everything I need. I'm seeing Mr Bates in a few days. And do you confirm that I can meet Timmy next week, on Tuesday after school?
- Yes, no problem.
- You have provided us with a list of character witnesses too, so I'll be in touch with them.
- Alright.
- I have one last question for you, before I leave.
- Yes?
- Are you planning on getting married, or forming a civil union?
Anna tensed a little. She had braced herself for that question.
- Hum, no, not at the moment.
- Oh? Why is that? If Mr Bates is such a good partner and father to your child?
- Well, it's only me, really. I told you a bit about my difficulties with my own parents, and I guess my mother's history has made me very reluctant to give up my own independence.
- I see. So, if I may put it that way, you are willing to entrust Mr Bates with your son's future, but not yours?
Anna frowned:
- Well, no, that's not how I see it at all. In my mind, and for both of us, really, we have already committed our futures to each other. We don't need a legal bond to enforce that. We're both adults, and we've bound ourselves to each other, privately. It's different for a child. He needs a legal protection, if anything happened to either of us.
- Alright. I hear your point of view. Although I can't say the judge will see it that way. They always look with a better eye to cases where the parents are married. It is a sign of stability to them. Maybe you should think on it. That detail set aside, I think you have a very good case. I'll be on my way now. Good afternoon Miss Smith.
- Thank you Mrs Williams. Good afternoon.
x x x x
Two weeks later, Mrs Williams had interviewed John and Timmy too, and was in the process of interviewing their relatives. She had mentioned the marriage thing to John too. He had told it to Anna when they had discussed the interview afterwards, but had not insisted on it, and had not come back to the topic since then. She knew he was willing to marry her, and he didn't intend on forcing her to change her mind if she was not ready. He had always respected her own rhythm since the beginning, and intended to continue. If she didn't want to marry, and if that made the adoption process lengthier and more complicated, he would make do with it.
However, Mrs Williams's words had kept turning in Anna's head since that day. "You are willing to entrust Mr Bates with your son's future, but not yours?" But she was willing to entrust John with her future, a million times. She had once thought that she would never let any man into her private life and intimacy, but then John had come, and patiently won her over. He had always been kind, caring, attentive to her needs, had never asked for what she could not give. She had thought he was asking for what she could not give, that day she had broken up with him, but he wasn't. She could give what he was asking for, she only didn't know that she could, or was too scared to try. Even then, he had respected her wishes. She knew deep down that he would never hurt her or push her to do anything she didn't want too. Besides, everyone kept telling them that it would be best for them to marry to make the adoption simpler, but he had never tried to convince her to do it. He knew that she knew, and only waited patiently for her to come to her decision, in her own time. And after a lot of thinking, maybe her own time had finally come. Maybe it was finally time for her to let go of that last ounce of fear and mistrust, and go for it.
They had taken advantage of a nice autumn Saturday afternoon to go on a walk in the countryside, to admire the trees' flamboyant colours. They were walking hand in hand along a river, Timmy riding his bike back and forth around them. At one point they stopped on the river bank, fondly looking at a pair of ducks minding their business in the water. Suddenly Anna looked up to John and said:
- John?
- Yes my darling?
- Will you marry me?
John stood speechless for a moment, before he found his voice back:
- Er… What?
- Will you be my husband? Make me your wife?
A happy and puzzled grin lit up John's face, as he asked:
- Are you serious? I thought you didn't want…
- There are many things I didn't want at first, then changed my mind for, don't you know it by now? she smiled. Yes, of course I'm serious. I want to be your wife.
- Oh, Anna, darling, of course I'll marry you! It's all I've ever dreamed of!
A tear ran down his cheek as he took her into a loving embrace, and captured her lips with a sweet kiss. They were starting to deepen the kiss when they startled apart, at the sound of Timmy's voice:
- Yeeww, Mum, Dad, please!
They both laughed, cheek against cheek. Then Anna reached for Timmy's hand, and said:
- We're happy, because Dad and I have just decided to get married.
- Oh, yay! cried Timmy. Will there be a party?!
Anna chuckled:
- Ah ah, always the good question. We've not thought this through yet. We'll see.
Later that night, as they were settling in bed, John asked:
- Anna? Might I ask what made you change your mind?
- Hum… Several things I guess. Something Mrs Williams said when she came to interview me. She asked why I was willing to entrust you with my son's future, but not mine. I thought it was not true, that I was definitely trusting you with my future too, but that I didn't need to make it legal and public. But then I thought about it, a great deal, and I had to admit that yes, there was a small part of me that was still scared of making that last commitment. And that it was rather silly to make it for Timmy but not for me. And what convinced me in the end, is you.
- Me? he asked, astonished. But I never mentioned it to you.
- Yes, precisely. The fact that you never tried to convince me to marry you when you knew I didn't wish to, the way you were ready to take the long road if that was the price for respecting my wishes. That made me realize that you were the right person to entrust my future with.
- I'm so happy you changed your mind my darling.
She beamed to him, and bent to kiss him.
- Shall we celebrate? she suggested with a mischievous grin.
- I think we should, he agreed, his hand finding his way up under her T-shirt.