AATS
Chapter 42
Testament

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

- Christopher Reeves.

"It's time to go."

"I won't leave."

"You can't stay like this. You've done enough."

"Let me have this just a little longer."

It was an argument they had been repeating for the last two hours; chaos' steady, careful words and Gaignun's absolute rejection of them. It was pathetic and pointless to argue. With every exchange Gaignun could feel himself weakening.

Jr. had finally calmed. His power was little more than hot wisps of steam flickering absently beneath Gaignun's palm. He wouldn't leave. If this was the only thing he could do for Jr. then he refused to leave.

"You have to rest."

Gaignun felt chaos' hand on his shoulder. He hadn't noticed chaos moving around the room and jumped slightly at the contact.

"He's safe," chaos said with a rigid certainty, as if he could see past the embers of their link straight into Jr.'s mind.

"All that's left for us to do is wait for him to wake up."

"I'll be here when he does."

"It may be a long wait."

"It doesn't matter how long it takes. I have time. I can wait."

chaos brought over a chair and sat next to him. Gaignun resisted the urge to look at him, knowing that if he did, he would break.

"This isn't your fault, you know," chaos said. He was eternally gentle and unceasingly wise. Gaignun always felt like a child in his presence. "He didn't tell you about Albedo. You couldn't have known."

"I didn't try hard enough," Gaignun argued. "We've been keeping secrets for so long that it feels like we've forgotten how to speak to each other."

Gaignun placed his hand flat against Jr.'s chest and sighed.

"He needs Albedo. They've always needed each other. I tried to bring them together a few times, but it never worked out. They're both too stubborn, too prideful...too dangerous."

Gaignun frowned and slowly, anxiously removed his hand.

"I could see that he needed help and I left anyway, thinking that would be better for him, for both of us. I don't have the right to criticize either of them."

"It's not always easy to know what's best for the people we care about," chaos replied. "It's always easy to blame ourselves for the things we didn't do. Hindsight is always 20/20."

Gaignun turned to face him. He was afraid of how much chaos knew, of how much he might expose himself if he were wrong. It would be pointless to bear his soul now, in the twilight hours of his failure.

"chaos...would you promise me something?"

"That depends on what you're asking."

There was a chill in his voice; a waiting dread. Gaignun understood that dread and deeply hated himself for saddling chaos with this burden, feeling that the two of them had been burdens to him from day one.

"In the event that I...if Jr. isn't able to bring Albedo back and there's no one else - "

"I know what you're asking," chaos interrupted, ending Gaignun's struggle. "And I can't make you that promise."

Gaignun wanted to argue. There was no better choice. chaos was the strongest person he knew. chaos smiled, but it was painful and laden with sympathy, with an unyielding understanding.

"It's been an experience, watching the two of you. I never meant to become so close. I kept telling myself that I would move on, but I always found excuses to stay. I wanted to see where you would go, what you could do, and in the end it became impossible to leave. I felt responsible for you but even more than that...no other place has ever felt like home."

chaos' words had acted like a spell that had stripped away his mystery. For a moment he seemed human, almost vulnerable.

"I can't do what you're asking of me," he continued. "I can promise that I will do whatever I can to protect you, both of you."

chaos stood and moved in close to Gaignun. He pressed his hand firmly against Gaignun's chest. chaos kept his eyes on his hand but Gaignun couldn't stop looking at him, at the worried crease in his brow as he concentrated. chaos felt like warmth, like safety and comfort; relief.

Gaignun recognized this warmth. He'd felt it thousands of times in quick seconds: in pats on the shoulder, in greetings and gift exchanges. chaos had always known.

"It's not much," chaos said as he pulled away.

It was enough. Gaignun had never expected to be cured. He and Yuriev were one, as much as he loathed to admit it. There was no way to untangle them, there never had been.

"But I hope it's enough to help you sleep."

chaos smiled and it was lighter, friendlier.

"Mary and Shelley are still waiting for you outside. They won't leave until they see you."

Gaignun remembered where he was and glanced frantically toward Jr.

"I'll stay with him," chaos reassured. "He'll be here when you wake up."

Gaignun moved but it was unsure.

"I know where to find you if something goes wrong."

Gaignun took one long look at Jr. and sighed.

"Alright," he said, giving in. He rose slowly and reluctantly from his seat. chaos had given him a gift, one that he knew he couldn't afford to waste. He was on his way to the door when he paused and said over his shoulder, "Thank you."

chaos only smiled as he watched Gaignun exit. The door slid open and chaos could hear the worried voices of Mary and Shelley in the few seconds before it shut behind him.

"What am I going to do with you?"

They were alone now and all the hectic panic from earlier had settled. He brought Jr.'s arm up and gently pulled it out of his jacket sleeve. He did the same to the other arm and raised Jr. up just enough to slide the jacket from under him. He sat him back down against the bed.

"I don't regret it," chaos said as he folded Jr.'s jacket and placed it near his head. "We would have found each other eventually. Still, things might have been easier that way."

He delicately pulled off a glove, freeing each finger one by one as he monitored Jr.'s expression.

There was a pain in knowing someone and becoming known, or as known as chaos would allow himself to become. Loss was inevitable. No one could avoid it. chaos had suffered it for centuries and cycles, unable to escape. He refused to be numbed by it any longer.

chaos placed a naked hand against Jr.'s bare shoulder.

"I would have missed meeting my best friend."

Jr. hadn't always been given a choice. There hadn't been a choice in the space-time anomaly. There hadn't been any choices in the nightmares. The choices hadn't begun until he'd found Roland Kukai on the Durandal. Eventually, even those choices had been taken away on the tar-covered beach. Afterward, he had been left with only one choice and in making that choice, he had taken away Albedo's.

They had taken so much from each other. It was a wonder that there was anything left between them. It was madness to love each other but Jr. kept running into the absurdity, desperate to drown. It was Jr.'s choice to wrap the embodiment of that madness in his hands, to breathe against his lips and to give something back. They had made millions of mistakes but Jr. knew this wasn't one of them.

"I love you, Albedo."

Albedo burst into light.

It sprang from his chest and sent Jr. flying backward onto the crystal floor. He rose to his feet instantly, screaming for Albedo. Jr. couldn't see him, he couldn't feel him. He began to panic, afraid that he was waking up or even worse, that Albedo's vampire had come to separate them.

The light spread, growing larger and brighter. Jr. shouted for him again, but his voice was lost, swallowed by the encroaching light. It swept his crystal surroundings away. Jr. threw his arms over his eyes as the light washed over him. He stayed like that for a few moments, heart in his throat, afraid of what he would find.

Jr. knew he couldn't stay like this forever and when he finally, mechanically lowered his arms and opened his eyes he found a beach on the other side. He blinked stupidly, as if doing so would make sense of the scenery. Blinking didn't help. A silver beach and a white shore stretched out in front of him. The whole area from the sand to the sky was awash in a light gray, as if the color had been stolen from it.

This wasn't his private beach. It wasn't Sakura's beach. Jr. had never been here before. It wasn't a construct of his mind. It was completely new and unfamiliar. The entire place was covered in an odd sort of serenity and was completely undisturbed by Jr.'s presence. This beach felt mystical and endless. A gentle wind swept over him from the sea's surface, beckoning him to relax and embrace this new place. It was tempting. He wondered if this beach belonged to Albedo.

Albedo.

Jr. spun in the sand.

Albedo. Where was Albedo?

The sea breeze turned into a strong wind that pushed into his chest. He stumbled in the gust as it spun him around until his back was facing the sea.

A gray field was waiting for him when he turned. It was sprinkled heavily with white flowers that swayed gently in the sea breeze. The wind brushed impatiently against Jr.'s back. It rushed past him, tearing through the flowers and spraying their petals wildly into the air. Jr. followed the wind, tripping over himself in the sand until his boots met solid ground.

The trapped petals were pulled roughly into the strong gusts and trapped, pulling together into a white column in the middle of the field.

"Albedo!" Jr. shouted. His voice was like an explosion in the haunting quiet of the bone-white beach. Jr. ran faster. He was a complete disaster, robbing the sleepy field of any and all tranquility.

The column broke apart and in the shower of glowing white petals stood a tall, hooded figure. Jr. recognized his outline immediately and slid to a halt.

"Testament?"

Jr.'s boots tore into the field, destroying the flowers at his feet. His fingers flinched for his guns but stopped short. In this grayscale world this Testament should have been a dark stain in the middle of the white field. Instead, his suit was a pure, stark white.

Rubedo.

Albedo's voice rang through him, a light chuckle. The figure turned, his cape dragged slowly behind him as he did. Jr.'s hands fell away from his guns. His heart found its way back into his throat as the man reached a clawed glove to his mask. It clicked as he moved it away from his face.

"You did it."

Albedo's bright purple eyes were the only splash of color on the beach. They were the only color Jr. cared about; his favorite color.

"Rubedo," Albedo said as the mask fell away. "You did it!"

Jr. drove forward. Albedo threw his mask aside and leaned down, arms open and ready to catch Jr. the moment he landed into them. Jr. slammed into him so hard that it knocked his hood off.

"Sweet Rubedo," Albedo gushed, his voice thick and wet. He wrapped his arms as tightly around Jr. as he could. "I had given up so long ago."

"That's all it took?" Jr. laughed. "That's all I had to do? I'll say it a thousand times! I love you! I love you! I love you!"

Albedo kissed him, interrupting his mindless declaration. Jr. threw his arms around Albedo's neck, laughing into his mouth. Albedo fell back into the flowers, pulling Jr. down with him. Jr. raised up, and his smile filled every frozen corner of Albedo's chest until he was breathless. He reached up to pluck a white petal out of Jr.'s hair.

"Rubedo, my beloved other half..."

He cradled the back of Jr.'s head, running his claws carefully through Jr.'s red hair.

"Stop," Jr. laughed, swiping at his eyes. "Don't get sappy on me."

"Oh? It's just me then?"

Albedo moved his hand to Jr.'s wet cheek. "Pathetic. Cut the crap, Rubedo."

"I love you," Jr. said again, just to say it, just to watch the way Albedo's breath trapped in his chest every time the sentence left him. "I'll always love you. I'll never stop."

Jr. kissed him again and Albedo welcomed him back into his arms. It wasn't until his claws scraped against his skin that Jr. remembered. He pulled away, inspecting Albedo's suit.

The color in their field had returned. The grass beneath Albedo was a new, fresh green. White pansies dotted with various shades of purple in their middles swayed lazily on dark stems around them. Jr. sat up to take in their surroundings. A small circle had been brought back to life around them. The silver sea and blanched beach remained devoid of color. They were a teardrop of paint on a white-gray canvas.

"Where are we?" Jr. asked. Albedo shifted beneath him and Jr. moved so that he could sit up.

"Nowhere," Albedo replied, looking past their color to the shore. "This beach is the end of your universe. It belongs in the gap between."

"You're telling me it doesn't exist?"

"It doesn't. This is a place for lost souls to find peace."

He turned to Jr. and smiled softly. "I had always hoped to meet you on its shores, under different circumstances."

Jr. shook his head, "So you can't get here unless you're...dead?"

"Or close," Albedo said with a nod.

"Or unless..." Jr. motioned toward Albedo's suit. "You're...a Testament."

Albedo grinned back at him.

"Does my body upset you, Rubedo?" Albedo teased. "I assure you it works just fine."

"Come on, Albedo. I need to know what this means."

Jr. took in the sight of him.

"What is a Testament?"

Albedo's eyes lit up and he smiled excitedly.

"Would you like to know, Rubedo?"

He cradled Jr.'s face in his hands and sighed. "I will answer all of your gnawing questions. All you have to do is ask."

Jr. felt their barriers fall apart at his words. The protections Albedo had put into place and the pieces of Jr. he had undone to recreate them vanished. There was nothing between them. Jr. could feel him completely; every thought, every breath, every leap of his heart when their eyes met. Every one of Albedo's senses streamed into him and his into Albedo.

"Albedo..." Jr. said, adrift in their open link. "I..."

Understand. Jr. finally understood.

The Alviss. The shapeshifter. Albedo's lack of U-DO. The answers fell into him like the pieces of a puzzle clicking perfectly into place.

Albedo was both the villain and the hero; the complete duality of madness. He would never be completely stable but would Jr. want him any other way?

Have you changed your mind? Albedo asked. Now that you know what I have done to bring you here?

As if, Jr. answered. He was lost in the minutia of Albedo's game. I'd ask you to do it again.

The game brought more questions and Jr. searched hungrily for them. Albedo guided him easily, happily.

The identities of Albedo's fellow Testaments and their mysterious benefactor were hidden from him. Jr. only saw masks and shadows. He tried to sift through the details but Albedo was still protective and unwilling to budge.

Albedo's answers only brought more questions. Jr. was insatiable and demanding in ways Albedo hadn't anticipated.

You've worked for him for so long, Jr. sent. His words were a mirage in the rush of memories.

It was worth it.

Albedo's words felt like claws playing on the outer shells of his ears. He couldn't separate physical from metaphysical anymore. Their thoughts played out on Albedo's white suit as if he were the backdrop, the screen. It was a surreal double-vision. When their eyes met the effect quadrupled.

Was it?

Albedo's suit was a cuff, a collar. This man, this vampire owned him. Jr. was a treat; an appeasement, a gift...to the Weaver of the Eternal Circle of-

How will this work? Jr. asked, his thoughts watery and transparent. What was a Testament? What did bringing one home mean? Was it possible?

Albedo belonged to someone else, to other people...people who kept popping up in unexpected places with uncertain goals. Jr. knew they were dangerous but to whom? What did they want? The Zohar? Lost Jerusalem?

Had the game really mattered or had it all been...a trap?

Albedo pulled away stiffly; jerking as if in a panic.

"Albedo?" Jr. asked, blinking roughly back into the present. The beach felt blinding.

Albedo stood suddenly and began looking around them wildly, as if searching for something.

"What's wrong?"

Albedo's panic was a steady-growing, unbroken wave. Jr. caught snippets of his thoughts as he twisted in the white field.

It was a trap. Albedo could feel the jaws of it snapping closed around them. He had always assumed that once the spell was broken, he would be able to return home with Jr. but the beach...there was something about the beach that was making him nervous.

The beach and his friends...Albedo was afraid of what he would be commanded to do and what would happen to Jr. if he were to reject those commands.

Jr. stood and grabbed him by the elbow. Albedo stopped his frantic turning.

"No more secrets," Jr. said. His grip was strong and painful; demanding. "Stop hiding from me. Whatever you're afraid of we'll face it together."

"These last few that I keep are to protect you, Rubedo. There are things too dangerous for you to know."

"This won't work unless you tell me what's happening," Jr. insisted. "I can't bring you home if I don't know what I'm dealing with."

"I'm not coming home, Rubedo."

"What are you saying? We won we ca-"

Their link widened. Albedo became a gaping abyss pulling him deeper and deeper.

You are mine, Albedo said, his presence like a sweet poison. But you don't belong solely to me. What about your scientist? Your swordsman? Your cyborg? Your sisters? Your little pêche?

You won't hurt them, Jr. said confidently.

No? Are you sure?

Jr. felt as if he were suffocating, as if those gentle claws were seizing around his friends, choking them.

My choices are limited, Rubedo. If it is you or them, then there really are no choices left, are there?

I can stop you. I can protect them.

But Jr. quailed at the darkness enveloping their link and the sickening feel of Albedo's claws closing around him. Jr. was reminded of Shelley's confidence for a moment before that memory turned black and oozing with doubt.

What is a Testament, you ask? What does it matter? A miracle or a monster I am here now, Rubedo. And now that you know what will you do?

You're trying to scare me away. Jr. replied. His hands moved to cover Albedo's. Try harder.

You would condemn them to death? Albedo replied.

I've killed you once. I'll just have to get a little more creative this time.

Albedo rejected his response.

Oh, threaten me, Dread Dragon.

I'm not going to run. Stop messing around and show me what it really means to be a Testament.

Jr. broke through and Albedo caved inward, unable and unwilling to hide from Jr. any longer.

I was only promised that I could reveal myself to you. Albedo said through the rush of memories. There is no escape for me. By bringing you here I have doomed us both.

Testaments were phantoms; a half existence whose sole purpose was to serve-

Time and space were meaningless to them. The universe moved at their whim, at the command of -

There were four of them, but there could be more. Each one had been captured like gasping fish on the shores of this very beach and reeled in with a promise, an exchange of power.

"What was it that you prayed for?"

How many times had Albedo been asked that question? Pleroma's abbey and now the white beach. Another proposal. Another deal struck in Jr.'s name.

You stupid bastard, Jr. sent. You wanted to die more than anything and after all of that you give it up and for what? To protect me? What are you so afraid of?

Albedo's memories warped into a white-gray swirl and Jr. lost the answer in the curves. Albedo hadn't become a Testament to protect Jr. from his benefactor. This was an old fear, one well-hidden. Jr. heard the echo of it prodding at him.

Albedo slipped out of Jr.'s grasp.

"There's more, isn't there?" Jr. asked. "What's wrong with the beach?"

"Do you not see, Rubedo? This isn't my beach. It's yours."

Their little circle closed in and became white. The still, peaceful atmosphere that had surrounded him from the moment he'd opened his eyes felt deceptive and heavy; a monochrome sedative.

"Mine?"

Albedo's eyes retained their color. Jr. clung to them; comforted by them despite the fear they held.

"I'm dying?"

Jr. didn't feel any different. He wasn't in pain. He didn't feel as if he were coming apart.

"You won't," Albedo insisted.

"If we don't find some way out of here, I will."

Jr. inspected his hands. The usual bright red of his numbers were dull and dark.

"This isn't our link. I'm really here so that means...there's no way back."

He dropped his arms and turned back to the sea.

"This really is a trap."

They weren't the only ones here, Jr. realized. Albedo had made his deal on the same beach or one like it. All the Testaments had and now, the only way out was for Jr. to do the same.

"No!"

Albedo grabbed Jr. by the shoulders and spun him around.

"I will find another way."

As the words left his mouth, Jr. knew that there was no other way. It had been planned this way. Albedo had been so blinded by the idea of seeing Jr. again that he'd neglected to read the fine print. The ink had long dried now. Albedo's largesse; the gifts and a curse of love and longing had a price. The bill always comes due.

They were still connected. Albedo could hear his thoughts turning like cogs in a well-oiled machine.

"No," Albedo said. He shook Jr. roughly. "You will die!"

"You're not dead."

Albedo started to object but Jr. cut him off.

"You still exist."

"This is no existence," Albedo spat.

"But it could be if I could become what you are."

Jr. patted Albedo's hand.

"If I were a Testament we could be together, right?"

"Rubedo," Albedo said angrily, fearfully. "Don't be a fool."

"It's the same price you paid!" Jr. shouted back.

"It isn't worth your life!"

"But it was worth yours?"

"I became this-"

"To protect me! If I become one then you won't have to!"

Jr. wrapped his hands around Albedo's wrists.

"You're more powerful than I ever thought possible but if I become a Testament, if I do this, then I'll be strong enough to protect myself. I'd be strong enough to protect everyone from anything. Even from you."

Albedo was furious and frantic. Jr. could feel him like a thunderstorm. He was like lightning striking the ground as he searched for a way to dissuade Jr. The idea flashed for a second and disappeared the moment Jr. heard it.

"If that power was turned on your friends?" Albedo hissed through clenched teeth. His claws dug painfully into Jr.'s shoulders. He was getting desperate and violent, but this was Jr.'s beach. Jr. knew that they weren't alone. All he had to do was ask. All he had to do was strike the deal. Albedo had no say in the matter.

"He will destroy, you, if you resist! What would be the point then? You'd have me for a day!"

"It's better than losing you! We're wasting time! If you can't come home, then what was this all for? Knowing that you're still alive isn't enough anymore. You're worried about my friends but what if I have to fight you? What if I'm forced to kill you again? If we're on the same side-"

"You would choose me instead?"

There was an obvious skepticism in his voice. Albedo was certain that Jr. didn't fully understand. Despite their open link, despite what he had learned, Jr. didn't understand what he would be giving up.

"I've always chosen everyone else over you. Let me make the right choice this time. Let me choose you."

Albedo softened at his words but not enough to release him. His claws stayed sharp and rigid.

"I can't," Albedo said. "Not like this."

He pulled Jr. close, locking him into his arms.

"I love you too much to let you become this. I won't let you give up your life for me."

"You won't have a choice soon."

"There's always a way."

Jr. wasn't a Testament and didn't have a Testament's knowledge. When he reached for those parts of Albedo he couldn't understand them. It was a different language, one Jr. would never understand without the cloak, the mask or the claws. Albedo wasn't a weapon anymore, he was a force of nature, of space and time. Nothing about his existence made sense. It defied all logic, scientific or otherwise.

Jr. had never heard of this beach. He didn't think there would be records of it if he were to search for it. If there was a way to escape it Albedo would be the only one able to find it.

Jr. wanted to speak Albedo's language. If he knew the things that Albedo knew, he could find a way to protect everyone. He could have both. There had to be a way to make it work.

Jr. caught sight of Albedo's mask in the white field and wondered what it would take to contact Albedo's vampire. He'd appeared on Albedo's beach without any sort of ceremony or summoning, but Jr. doubted that Albedo had expected him to or had even wanted him to come. Albedo had said that he'd hoped to meet Jr. there. He'd never intended to be resurrected.

What would Albedo do if he showed up on Jr.'s beach? What would it take to bring him here? What would happen if Jr. were to pick up that mask and take another choice away from Albedo?

What was fair? What was right?

"Rubedo?"

Albedo had caught on to Jr.'s thoughts and Jr. knew what he had to do. He pushed away from Albedo and ran for the mask. He wasn't sure if it would work, but he had no other ideas. Albedo realized just a second too late. By the time he caught up, it was too late. Jr. was holding the mask in his hands, having slid through the field on his knees in order to avoid Albedo.

"Whatever happens," Jr. shouted back. "I'll take care of it."

The mask smoked. White steam curled around Jr.'s hands. It didn't burn or dissolve or explode, but he did hear a voice. Jr. gripped it tighter and held his breath. What had it said? He couldn't hear it.

"Rubedo, stop! Put it down!"

Albedo's words didn't reach him. Everything was fading. The flowers, the beach and even the tight hold on their link began to fade until there was nothing; not even the white mask between his fingers.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Kukai."

A/N: So I lied, obviously. I intended for there to be only two chapters left but as I was writing this I realized that it flowed better if I cut it in half. So I split this one into two chapters. Hope that doesn't disappoint too much. I'm working hard on the next chapter and hopefully it will be up by the end of the month.

Thanks again, everyone. Stay safe and healthy~