Chapter 42:

Tara Daichi, District One, Age 18

Victor of the 117th Hunger Games

Tara's pretty sure she was less scared to volunteer than she is right now, the clock counting down the minutes until the interviews start. She's pretty sure she might vomit and regrets eating as much lunch as she did. How much of a laughing stock would she be if she vomited on national television during her interview? Just asking for a friend.

It was so much easier to tell her District team the truth about her identity but even then, still difficult to get out the words. Yet they were so accepting of her immediately and made her believe that she could come out during the interviews. She could go out there and tell her awful family the truth about herself, push back on the awful things they did over the years, forcing her to suppress her true self to foolishly try to be their image of their perfect 'son'. Fuck that, no more lying to herself and them.

But now that the interviews are so close and she's all dressed up in the prettiest dress – something so expensive she doesn't feel worthy enough to be wearing – she wants nothing more than to rip it off and put on a suit, continue living the lie she's spent the past eighteen years living behind. "I can't do this."

Marianne stops fixing her hair in the mirror immediately at her comment and turns to face her. She puts her hands on her hips, being stern and not backing down, acting almost as Tara's backbone in this. "Yes, you can do this. What's the worst that can happen? They're going to accept you, look at how quickly our team did."

"My family won't," Tara says quietly and hates that she feels any sadness at that. They've been nothing but awful to her over the years, yet part of her still is desperate for their approval. "They never will."

"And you don't need them," Marianne counters immediately. "The Games start tomorrow and you have no idea what will happen. Either you win and never have to see them again, or you die in that arena and won't see them again. Do you want to die without openly being yourself?"

"No…" Tara answers, knowing she's right, but still so terrified to say it. "You're being too nice to one of your biggest competitors," Tara tells her, shaking her head. "I don't get it."

"We're not fighting yet," Marianne responds with a smile. "Am I not allowed to just be a decent human being?"

"No," Tara answers quietly, feeling unsettled by her kindness. "It just would be easier if you weren't so nice to me before the Games start."

"That's a problem we'll deal with when we get to it," Marianne says with a shrug as the crew yells out a five minute warning to them. Panic sets in to Tara once more now that the interviews are so close to starting and Marianne notices immediately, reaching out and putting her hands on Tara's shoulders. "Hey, look at me. You can do this. Be who you truly are because starting tomorrow, life is one big question mark." Tara nods her head but doesn't feel like she can speak without fear of vomiting all over Marianne. "If you're struggling to say it, I'll be on stage so just look at me and say it to me. You've already told me so it can't be too tough, right?"

"No, it can't be," Tara says, taking a deep breath to try to steady herself. She forces a smile at her partner, "Hey, at least on the bright side, we're up first and I don't have to wait around through all the interviews."

"There ya go!" Marianne slaps her shoulder reassuringly as Claudia takes to the stage, ready to kick off the interviews. She looks at the stairs leading up to the stage before turning back to Tara with a gentle smile. "No matter what happens, I'm proud of you. Just know that."

Tara can only nod her head as Marianne is called out onto the stage, not feeling worthy of her pride. The three minutes go by way too fast, with Tara envious of the ease and confidence Marianne gives off as she jokes around with Claudia. She's not nearly as graceful and confident as her…

Before the time runs out, Marianne stops Claudia from asking another question. "I know my time is up and I have something important to say," Marianne tells the host, who gives her a curious look. "My District partner is up next and they have something very important to say and I want everyone to be accepting and loving of them because they're an amazing person who deserves it. And if not, I'm comin' back as victor and kicking all of your asses for it."

Tara smiles at Marianne's threat as the buzzer goes off, momentarily forgetting about what is about to happen. But as the crowd cheers her off the stage, she realizes she's next and becomes nearly rooted to her spot.

Claudia quiets down the crowd and Tara winces in anticipation of being introduced by her dead name, but the host surprises her. "Next is Marianne's District partner, who I've been told has an important announcement, so I will let them introduce themself!"

Tara is shocked for a moment at that, wondering who on her team told the host about it, but a crew member waves her towards the stage and she takes a deep breath, picking up the end of her dress as she heads up the stairs and out on the stage. She looks down at the floor at first, not wanting to see how the crowd reacts to her, but when they start cheering for her, her head shoots up immediately and she can feel her eyes prickling with tears at their welcome.

Claudia is smiling as she takes her spot and motions for the crowd to quiet down. "First I just have to say, you look lovely tonight! Now, care to introduce yourself?"

Tara knows what she has to say and Claudia has set her up for it, yet the words are stuck in her throat. She can't do it. She can't say it and face the hate and rejection for being herself…

What's the worst that can happen?

Marianne's words ring in her head and she looks over at her District partner, finding her silently encouraging her. She's right. If – no, when – she wins, she won't ever have to see her terrible family again. She'll be a victor and no one can deny who she really is.

Tara turns back to Claudia, the host giving her an encouraging smile as she waits patiently for Tara to speak up. And in her eyes is an understanding and acceptance, something Tara never would have gotten back home from her family. But even then, it doesn't matter if they accept her, she accepts herself.

So she takes a deep breath and faces the crowd. "I'm Tara Daichi, and this is who I am."

We love a bit of wholesome content! Knowing this was how Tara came out before her Games, I knew I had to write it for her chapter. I know, shocker, I willingly wrote part of interviews again XD But Tara Daichi is a valid girl and I love her!

Thought about updating this yesterday in the morning but thought it was too early, then didn't remember until it was too late lol. So here we are now. Otherwise, not much else to say. If you're currently finishing up your semester, best of luck with exams!

Next week: one more career before we break the streak lol. Someone who makes a difference in their District by not winning by backstabbing their allies.