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Chapter 42 - The Return of Bad Wolf

Rose was able to pull herself back together in the car after a bit. She redid her make-up, which she had down to a science at this point. No one would have even guessed her break down earlier.

They got to the White House, and the Doctor wrapped Tony up in his jacket. He carried him up to Jacob's room and lay him down in the bed. Jacob was still sleeping soundly. Rose took off Tony's shoes, removed the Doctor's jacket, and covered her brother up with a duvet. Zeus curled up and went to sleep at his feet.

Meanwhile, the Doctor took his sonic out and scanned Jacob again. He nodded approvingly at the results, then put his finger on the boy's head to push him back into a deeper sleep.

Rose whispered to him. "Do you have to do that to him?"

"Yes, Rose. It's not going to hurt him. He needs to sleep to heal his body. He's fine!"

They walked out of the room and closed the door. Rose looked up at the Doctor and noticed how dark his eyes were.

"Gosh, you look beat." Rose told him.

"Oh, I'm completely exhausted." he admitted. "Tell you what. I'm going to go lay down a minute. Will you go tell Caroline that Jacob will probably sleep for the rest of the day and that he's fine?"

"Sure." Rose told him.

He walked away slowly, rubbing his face. Rose thought in that moment that she could see all 900 years of his assumed age as he walked away from her.

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The Doctor took off his clothes, down to his pants, and climbed into bed. He was so tired, he didn't even remember the moment when he slipped off to sleep.

He was standing in a barn with a sandy floor. It was hot, and the air was very dry. He looked around and saw Rose, but with blond hair, sitting on a haystack. Her clothes were all ripped up. He was wearing one of his suits from the TARDIS with his long brown trench coat.

"Bad Wolf?" he inquired.

She smiled at him. "And look at that. I didn't even have to introduce myself!"

"Why do you always take this form?" he asked her.

"We are one in the same now. You haven't figured that out yet, Time Lord?"

He rubbed his head, determined to not stop looking at her in fear she would disappear.

"I've had a lot on my mind, lately."

"I'd say. And you still find you can't be honest with the woman you love about things."

The Doctor couldn't believe she knew. "I told her what she needed to know!" he yelled.

"But, you didn't tell her everything."

He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "She can't know that. It would destroy her."

"She will find out in a few years when you have died."

He became angry. "But at least it's not months! I can't tell her that. My senses are dying, yes. But, she can't know everything. She will see me differently if she knew how bad this is. The only relief I have is when I'm with her and I see her happiness."

"You have already lost so much. How has she not noticed? She's going to notice."

The Doctor became furious. "It's this damn, rubbish, human body! It can't cope with this. And that damn Doctor that left me here! Oh, he would have known. He would have had to! A Time Lord conscience cannot exist in a human body. He would have had to take it completely out of Donna! He didn't stop and think about me, or her! How it would cause me to die. Everything is dying! Slowly! Feels like a piece of me at a time!"

He continued, "I can't tell Rose. I can't lose her. I can't hurt her. And he's made this mess now where one day, very soon, I will crush the heart of the woman I have always loved." he told Bad Wolf with gritted teeth.

"And this is 'living the adventure he could never have'? Bastard." the Doctor grumbled.

"Your little inventions with Pete will only help so long."

"Yes. But they will help. They might even prolong my life for her. Or at least, ease my suffering. 'Physician, heal thyself', huh? It's almost laughable, because there's nothing I can do." the Doctor admitted.

"What are you going to do when she finds out, Doctor?"

He looked at the Bad Wolf seriously and said, "Deny it. She can't know. She will always blame herself in some small way. I won't do that to her."

"Why would she blame herself?"

"Oh, she would. I know I would." the Doctor admitted.

"You have always blamed yourself for things that had nothing to do with you. Even his Melissa situation now. That had nothing to do with you."

"Ah, it feels like it did. I accused her of trying to hurt Rose. She disappears, ends up dead, and leaves a child all on her own. I'm as big of a disaster here in this dimension as I was in the other one when I meddle in these human's lives. Thank God, Rose doesn't see it."

"Rose would disagree with you."

"She usually does." he laughed quietly.

"Your biggest enemy has always remained the same. All through time and space."

"What? The Daleks?"

"Boy, you are thick. No, yourself."

"Myself?" he shook his head disapprovingly. "Nah. I don't think so."

Bad Wolf jumped off of the haystack and wrapped her arms around his waist. He stood with his hands in his pockets and looked at her.

"Tell me something. How did you fix my hand?" the Doctor asked her as he looked into her eyes that flashed yellow.

"I didn't." Bad Wolf told him.

The Doctor looked surprised at her. "Sure, you did. I dreamed about you without my cast, and then it was healed. You did that."

Bad Wolf laughed. "I really didn't. I can't believe you haven't figured this out yet. Maybe your sickness is already in your mind."

He looked at her seriously. "Now, that's just mean. If you didn't heal my hand then-"

He suddenly realized who it was. "But, she doesn't know! How?! Oh, shit." He brought his hand up to his mouth in surprise.

"Language, Time Lord!" Bad Wolf laughed at him. "No, she has no idea. We are one in the same. She did it because she loves you. She doesn't even know she did it. She doesn't want you to ever hurt or be sad about anything. She loves you more than anyone ever has. All through space and time. She knows you have been brutally broken in the past and feels that you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself. You underestimate her. "

He was still in shock. He nodded. "Yeah, I really do. Wow. Rose really did that?"

"Does that explain some things, Time Lord?"

He shook his head and looked down at the ground in disbelief. "No, it only give me more questions." He looked up to find he was alone.

"Well, shit." he exclaimed. "Just when I was getting somewhere."

He kicked the sand on the ground and sat down hard on a bale of hay. He ran both of his hands through his hair. This was a revelation. Rose was the one that had healed his hand. Did she have other abilities that she hadn't told him about? Was she being as secretive with him as he was with her? He sat on the hay bale for a long while thinking about Rose. If she was able to pull apart people by their molecules, it made sense that she could put them together again.

For a fleeting moment, he considered telling her everything. She might be able to put him back together again. But, realized that the shock of everything would be too much for her. He resolved that he couldn't tell her. He had made his decision, he had told her enough. He didn't want to tell her anything else.

He would continue with his plan. To get her safe. Love her as much as he could, and keep her happy until his last day.

He stood up and looked around the barn, and decided he needed a walk. "It's always this damn place." he said as he shook his head.

"What's so special about this place?"

He turned around and saw Rose, his Rose with brown hair standing in the barn with him.

He walked quickly over to her and took her hands. "Rose. Are you really here, too? Or is this part of a dream?"

"I hope you don't mind. I came in and you were asleep. I can leave you to dream in peace if you -"

"No! It's alright." he smiled. He leaned in and kissed her, he thought he tasted lip gloss again on her lips.

"Well, that's a wonderful welcome into someone's dream. I should do this more often." Rose teased him.

He looked at her and smiled. "I'm so glad you are here."

"In this damn place? What is this place?" Rose asked him.

He looked around, not taking his hands out of hers. He sighed. Then he pointed up to the second story loft, where a small bed sat.

"I used to sleep up there. When I was a boy. Not much older than Tony." he told Rose.

Rose looked surprised. "Really? Born in a barn there, Doctor?" she teased him.

He laughed under his breath and shook his head. "No, not really."

He continued as he held her hands. "I came back here one day. One terrible day in my life. To make a disastrous decision."

Rose could feel his heartbreak and sadness. "What happened here?"

He looked around, deciding if he wanted to tell her or not. He kissed her hands.

Rose looked at him, "Can you feel my sincerity when I tell you that you can tell me things, and I won't think of you any differently? I love you."

He looked at her. "No, sweetheart. I can't feel that." he admitted quietly. "I lost all of my empathic abilities about a week ago."

He couldn't believe he had admitted it aloud.

Rose held her hand up to her mouth. "That's one of the senses you were telling me you lost?"

His eyes met hers. "Yeah." he said quietly.

"But, you still have your telepathic abilities, right?" Rose asked.

"Yes, different thing. Completely different thing." he told her.

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Rose asked him.

He shook his head. "No, sweetheart. Don't worry about me. I'm alright."

She leaned in and kissed him. "No, you're not. You couldn't be. What other senses have you lost? Tell me."

He held her tightly. But, she noticed he couldn't look at her. She shook him a bit.

"Talk to me." she demanded.

He looked at her. "I used to be able to see really well in the dark." he shook his head. "I can't do that anymore. My sense of taste is... different. Not gone, just not as good. More human, I imagine."

"What else?" Rose asked him.

"I used to have a high level for sensory input. I could take all of this information in, figure it out and tell you what is going on. I don't feel like I'm able to do that anymore. Otherwise, I would have been able to avoid this war."

"I don't think anything could have helped avoid this war, sweetheart. Don't put that on your shoulders. What else?"

"I should have been able to tell that Shakes and his men were not humans. That's completely gone. I can't feel the shape of the planet I'm standing on. I can't feel it moving under my feet anymore. Everything is just... still. It's so strange. Makes me almost seasick."

"What else is different?" Rose asked him.

"I think that's everything, sweetheart."

"Are you sure?" she asked him.

He smiled at her. "Even if I can't feel it anymore, I know you can feel my sincerity. That's all I can think of right now. But, I adore you. More than anything has ever been adored. I love you so much, my Nehyta."

She smiled at him. "You know I love you. Thank you for telling me. You can talk to me about this if you need to."

"Nah, I'm alright. I'm just learning to cope with it all. It's strange. Not undoable. I mean, people here do it every day."

"In a rubbish, human body." Rose added.

He laughed under his breath. "Yeah. But you like my rubbish, human body. I think I'm going to rename it 'Roses' jungle gym'."

Rose laughed. "I really do, you know. But, I would love your body no matter what it was. Because it's you."

"Really? Even...hang on. Let me see if I can do this."

He closed his eyes and turned into the Doctor she first met. Back when he was all ears and leather. She noticed he was wearing his leather jacket and jeans again like he always did then.

He still had his arms around her waist holding her.

She smiled up at him. "Yeah, that's not weird at all!"

He laughed at her. "Was I really this tall then?" he asked in that northern accent he had.

She laughed at him. "I suppose you were. Let's see how you kissed."

He leaned down and kissed her. Their tongues danced like they always did. He caressed her cheek as they enjoyed a good snog.

Rose leaned back and looked at him.

"Different? Weird?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "No. Exactly the same. Wow. You are a hellva kisser."

He laughed under his breath at her. "Those were the only two of me you ever met, wasn't it?"

She smiled as she looked up at him. "Man, your hair was short. I forget how long it is now."

"Oh, I did wear it longer once. Hang on."

He changed into his eight incarnation. He stood holding her with the suit he normally wore during that time. A long jacket with tails, crushed velvet vest and a long, old fashioned tie. His hair hung down below his shoulders.

"Yeah, this is weird. Stop changing on me." Rose demanded of him.

He laughed at her. "Yeah, I suppose it is weird."

She noticed he spoke completely different. Almost like a Victorian gentleman in this body.

She looked at his hair. "Okay, this works for this body. But, wow. You aren't kidding. This is really long. And curly." She ran her hands through his long locks. He leaned into her touch.

She looked up at him. "Gosh, you have always been a handsome man."

He laughed at her. "I think love has clouded your judgment, love."

Rose laughed. "That's possible. I love these clothes though. Is this what you wore, then?"

He looked down at what he was wearing. "Yeah, in the beginning. When I went back to Gallifrey, I started wearing something else."

"Can you show me?" Rose asked.

"You told me to stop changing." he teased her.

"That's just clothes."

"Oh, alright. The things I do for you, Rose Tyler." he complained.

He closed his eyes and changed into an older version of the eighth incarnation of himself. He wore a cotton shirt, a scarf was tied around his neck. He also had a vest that might have been another jacket. Rose couldn't tell. He also had on a long black coat that went to this knees made of leather. His leather boots went up to almost to his knees.

Rose looked at him. "You cut your hair."

He raised his hand to feel it. "Yeah, this was during the war. It got in the way."

"And you have a little bit of a beard starting." she told him.

He felt of his chin. "Nah, I think I was just too busy to shave. Time Lords usually don't wear beards."

Rose ran her hands through his hair as she pulled him in for a snog. His stubble started to feel softer against her face as she kissed him. When she stopped and looked at him, she saw that he had changed back into her Doctor. He was smiling at her like a loon.

"I'm going to get jealous with you over here snogging all of these different versions of me." he laughed at her.

"Wake up and I'll do a little more than snogging."

He smiled and made that happy noise in the back of his throat. "Yes ma'am. One woke up Time Lord, coming right up!"

He woke up in the bed under the duvet. Rose was under the duvet with him, laying on his chest.

"On a scale of 1 to 10. How strange was that?" the Doctor asked her.

Rose raised up and looked at him. "Very little with you isn't strange."

He rolled his eyes at her and laughed. "Yeah, I guess you are right. But, you like it."

"Yes, I do. Almost as much as you like this." Rose told him as she climbed on top of him and pulled down the duvet to get to his waist. He saw what she was about to do and smiled.

"Let's get you ready for me, shall we?" Rose asked him as she kissed his lips.

"Oh, it won't take long, love." he wrapped his arms around her and continued their snogging from the dream. Rose rubbed his pants, encouraging him to get hard.

The Doctor took the edges of her knickers, and slid them off of her hips. He rubbed her sensitive area between her thighs until she let out a little moan.

'Turn around darling. Let me have some of this candy.' he told her as she smiled and put her opening close to his mouth.

She freed his appendage from his pants, and wrapped her mouth around it. He moaned loudly.

'Remember, we're not on an island. Don't get loud.' Rose told him.

'I have something to keep my mouth occupied.' he told her as he crashed his mouth into her opening and ran his tongue inside of her. She nearly screamed.

'Is your tongue that long?' she asked him.

He laughed at her comment. As he began his work, her candy started to flow. He continued to lick and tease her with his fingers. She nearly came unglued when he put his lips on her and sucked.

He knew she had forgotten everything at that moment, even how to moan.

Meanwhile, Rose was sliding his length into her mouth. She hummed and the vibrations nearly sent him over the edge.

'I'm going to scream with you doing that.' he told her.

'Like that, huh?'

'Oh, my god woman. I can't even think.'

She continued to suck, lick and stroke him as he licked, fingered and nibbled her.

'I need you.' she said breathlessly.

'Sweetheart. Turn around.' he said to her.

She turned back around and he rolled over on top of her. He slid himself inside of her and thrust slowly, and deep. Taking his time to hit every spot she enjoyed. He kissed her neck and chest as he said some words in a strange language.

Rose started to tell him he was talking crazy again, but couldn't remember how to speak. She was lost in the pleasure. She could tell he was lost in his as well.

Rose rolled him over and sat on his waist. She continued the movement giving them both the satisfaction they were lost in. He ran his hands down her body. She still wore her shirt and he ran his hands under it, feeling her skin.

'Oh, Rose. You are so soft. Like silk.' he told her as he helped her remove her shirt to expose her breasts. She leaned down and kissed his lips. He ran his fingertips across her back, gently. She was still moving her body slowly, thrusting him deep inside of her.

He rolled them over as he continued their kiss. He ran his hand down her side down to her bum and helped her pull her leg up behind his back. He re-angled himself to begin thrusting inside of her again.

'Oh, that is wonderful.' Rose encouraged him.

'No, darling. You are wonderful.' he told her.

He stroked for a few more moments, then Rose felt him finish up his work.

He raised up and looked at her, and laughed.

"What? You loon?" Rose asked him smiling.

He lay down next to her. "Nothing. I'm just incredibility happy. I've never been this happy in all of my lives."

He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her.

"Even with the virgin queen?" Rose teased him.

He laughed and covered his face with his arm. "I can't believe I told you that."

"I can't believe you did that!" Rose laughed at him.

"One day, I might tell you the entire story. A lot of it is fuzzy." he admitted.

"Too much drinking then?" Rose teased him.

He smiled at her. "Nah, most likely it means there was another version of me there. The time line is all...wobbley. I can't remember it clearly."

"But, you can remember the other times you were with yourself. Wow. Listen at that. That's strange." Rose realized.

He leaned over and kissed her. "Yeah, pronouns get confusing with me sometimes. Nah, it probably means it was an older version of me there. Usually, that's why it will get a little... strange... hard to remember."

"Older version? Like another incarnation?" Rose asked him.

"Yeah, I seem to remember he had a big chin. That's all I can remember." he said as he scratched his beard, deep in thought.

Rose rolled over to lay on top of him. She looked into his face. "So, you changed into Jay Leno?" Rose teased him and started laughing.

He laughed at her. "Jay Leno?! You know who that is, and you don't know Hamlet's soliloquy?"

She laughed at the look on his face.

"You know, Tony knows Hamlet's soliloquy. He recited it this morning to me." the Doctor told her proudly.

"No, he doesn't." Rose insisted.

He smiled at her. "Yeah, he really does. Ask him about it. He's amazingly clever. It took me maybe 15 minutes to teach it to him."

"You're serious?" Rose inquired.

He raised up and kissed her lightly.

"Let me ask you something, love." the Doctor asked Rose as he ran his fingers up and down her bare back. "What do you remember about that morning when I woke up without my cast?"

Rose raised up and looked at him. Her hair was all over the place. It made him laugh. He moved her hair out of her face for her, so he could see her clearly.

"Back on the cruise ship?"

"Yeah. Remember, I woke up and my cast was just...gone?"

"Oh, yes. I remember that. I still think you did something." Rose accused him.

He closed his eyes and laughed at her. "Of course you do!"

"Why? What are you getting at?" She asked him.

"Did you dream anything that night? Anything strange?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "No, nothing I remember."

He rubbed his beard and put his arm behind his head. "Do you remember what you thought about as you went to sleep?"

"These are weird questions." Rose declared.

"Nah, think about it. Really. Do you remember?" he asked her.

"You were in pain. And I remember wishing that I could fix your hand for you. I hated that you were hurting. It broke my heart. I knew you had been putting on a brave face all day, but when you drifted off to sleep, you let your shielding down enough that I could feel the pain. I couldn't believe you were able to sleep through it. I remember rubbing your chest, trying to send you some comfort and let you know I was there. I also..."

"What? What happened?"

"I put my hand on your cast and tried to pull out the pain. Take it into my body. Does that make sense?"

He looked surprised. "Huh..."

Rose looked at him. "Good huh. Bad huh...?"

He looked at her. "Huh..." and smiled.

She laughed at him. "What is this about? Why are we talking about your hand? That was days ago."

"Have you told me everything, Rose Tyler? Telepathy? Empathic abilities? Healing fast? Is that everything?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah. That's it."

He rolled his eyes back to look at the ceiling, lost in thought. "Huh..."

She smacked him across the chest. "Out with it old man!"

"Ow, damn! Okay. Hmmm... just a minute. Trying to find the words..." he stalled.

"Your English is perfect. Find them." Rose demanded.

He grumbled as he rubbed his face in both of his hands. Rose took the opportunity to climb on top of him and pin him down back into their questioning position from the time on the cruise ship.

He looked up at her nude body, and ran his hands up and down her sides and smiled.

"This is nowhere near as intimidating when you're nude, my dear. I find it rather enjoyable."

Rose pointed at him. "I would enjoy an explanation. Start talking, or I'm not letting you up."

He raised his head up. "You mean to tell me I can lay here forever, looking at you...and all I have to do is not tell you this?"

Rose realized the fault in her logic. "Okay, maybe not."

"Damn. I thought I had stumbled into something amazing!" he laughed.

Rose smacked him across the chest again. "Tell me old man! What in the hell?"

He laughed at her. He was enjoying irritating her. It had to be his favorite sport.

He rubbed her tattoo on her hip. "Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler. Are one in the same. Something happened when you absorbed the time vortex. I took out as much as I could and saved you, but there is some things it left behind. Some things it changed."

He looked up at her. "You, my dear, were the one that healed my hand. You telling me that you tried to pull the hurt out of might be what happened. I love you so much, Rose and I know you care deeply for me. You didn't want to see me hurt, no more than I would ever want to see you in pain. You somehow healed my hand. There is this other power in you. I don't understand it, but if you can pull Daleks apart, you can certainly heal someone's broken hand. It appears as if that's exactly what you did."

Rose looked surprised. "Well, what happened to the cast? We looked all over and couldn't find any trace of it."

"I have no idea. You probably got rid of it, too."

"How could I do something like that, and not know it?" Rose asked him.

"You were asleep. You knew I was right there with you. You could feel my pain. I think you can operate whatever this is subconsciously. I've seen flashes of it since I've been here with you. I've not mentioned it because I didn't want to scare you. But, it's there."

Rose looked worried. "Is it bad?"

He raised up and took her face in his hands. "No sweetheart. It's not bad. It explains a lot, actually. I'll help you with this as much as I can, but this is all new to me. Everything is alright. Rose alright."

"Lots of things are new to you, right now." Rose laughed.

He smiled. "Very true."

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