A/N: Here's a long one!
It took me a while to get this typed out to my liking. Technically, this was to be my return from hiatus chapter but I just wasn't able to get it completed before all the previous chapters so here it is, three chapters later
Ichigo has always loved his mother. He loves her to bits and pieces and that will likely never change. It hasn't changed, and if such a long time has not made a difference, he doesn't think it ever will.
When he offhandedly tells his father how he has cherished Masaki for so many eons, the man had looked baffled and maybe even slightly concerned. Masaki had laughed and brushed this off while she ushered Ichigo to the bathroom to get clean after a day of playing out. She had filled the tub, and while she diligently scrubbed at his hair and he stayed still for her, she took a deep breath and spoke in a soft and not-quite a whisper tone.
"It's best not to mention it my little protector."
Ichigo was confused, but he stayed in place and didn't give her the baffled expression this deserved. "Mention what Ka-san?"
Masaki had stayed quiet for a couple seconds longer than necessary before answering. "The feelings- the memories. Normal people don't remember anything; it will just confuse them."
"So," Ichigo began hesitantly. "Tou-san doesn't feel… it?"
She shook her head and washed the soap out of his bright orange hair with soothing notions. "We recover the feelings as we get older. Now in days, there are very few of us. Likely more than I know, but less then we should."
The orange head processed this calmly and then turned to give Masaki a look of understanding, but his eyes also reflected a hidden turmoil "Sister, what happened to our Clan?"
Masaki took a very deep breath as she stared into distance; seeing a man older than her that had once been her older brother, seeing a teenager just as cheery as her boy who had once been her cousin, seeing a wizened old man who could give any youngster a run for their money which had been her grandfather, seeing a little baby who never got to grow that had been her daughter and many, many more. She saw all these people in Ichigo. "We were hunted, and with so little of us left of blood, our siblings can't remember."
Ichigo stayed quiet, Masaki was honestly surprised the little boy had this much grasp of the feelings and memories that were likely too hazy for him to understand. It was no shocker that he likely didn't know how to process this information.
"We'll be okay." He spoke up at last. "We have to be."
Ichigo probably worried Masaki with that sentence more than he did to reassure her, but then again, Ichigo had not been trying to soothe her.
When his mother sister cousin granddaughter best-friend student son teacher died, he lost his last steady true north. Ichigo did not only lose a mother, he lost his confidant, and the one person who remembered and helped him deal with his remembrance.
Ichigo lost her, Yuzu and Karin lost her too, and unfortunately for him, that meant he had to step into the shoes Masaki left behind, not only in the house, but in the other things too.
It was difficult at times, the girls came to him for help or advise on something and his feelings were still a jumbled mess that had him frantically organizing his timeline to properly assist them. Most of his Clan hadn't really been able to properly file away the feelings and memories in their mental library to come off as well-adjusted members of society until their early twenties and Ichigo was a teenager. He wasn't supposed to be the put together adult he was trying to pretend he was, and he wasn't supposed to do this alone either. But there was no one of blood left when he tried to look, and the times he recognized a teacher, older sibling, or just a person he had once respected, he would swiftly find frustration seeping into his very bones when he remembered that they didn't remember.
When Ichigo was fourteen, he recognized a friend he once made.
In that life, he feels they shared a deep bond of trust even though they had not been family -he's certain of this. They were merchants -probably- he thinks artisans of some sort but he's not really keen on the details. That had been their hobby, and their paths constantly crossed, but Ichigo's real occupation as important person of his Clan meant he didn't get to do what he enjoyed much.
This man fondly called him a whiffle-waffle -a time waster in modern terms- and a fopdoodle -a stupid fellow- without a second thought even though he technically shouldn't.
It was an interesting relationship.
In another life, they were enemies who got tired of all the expectations and ran off with the other heirs for half a decade. That one was also fun, though he doesn't remember anything but flashes of taste and noise of it. He has a distinct impression this character called him Coxcomb – vain and conceited- till her death bed.
He remembers all this and more, feels a bitter smile tug at his lips and finds himself turning to continue his journey home before he notices the other teen is also staring. His brow furrows at the oddly intent expression the teen has, and he finds he's opening his mouth before he can even stop himself.
"If you call me a fopdoodle again, I'll kick you."
The other teen looks startled at the words. Not confused, but definitely startled in a way that speaks of understanding while baffled to the very notion. For a couple seconds, it looks like he might even bolt, as if what Ichigo has said has made his entire world collapse around him and like he should start running to make sure he gets out of it alive. He visibly makes the decision to stomp this urge and walk to stand in front of Ichigo with a somewhat conceited expression instead.
"Do you prefer nincompoop?" the teen says in a dry voice that has Ichigo freezing. "You don't look like a coxcomb this time, so I don't think I can call you that."
Ichigo sucks in a breath and finds the other pretty much mirroring him; he obviously wasn't expecting that either.
And that is how Ichigo meets Ishida Uryū in this life. On the bright side, he now has another person from his Clan to commiserate with, on the downside, it's another confused teenager.
At least they can be confused together.
Uryū has a father who is also Clan, but Ichigo very quickly picks up on the fact the man is an asshole -modern insults sound less silly, that's for sure.
When Ichigo meets him -not really meet, more like glances- he sees flashes of a cold, closed off boy who refused to run away with all the other clan heirs that one time. He sees a scene where a stony faced old man grabbed a little boy by the arm and told him to stop following his stupid dreams. He sees a kid -maybe six years old- who had the same thing done to him by some well meaning family member. He sees a man who screamed and anguished for his dead wife until his soul was halfway eaten before he snapped out of it enough to commit suicide.
Ichigo doesn't tell Uryū that Ryūken likely doesn't remember everything he should because of all the soul damage. He doesn't justify the man's standoffish attitude because there is no justification, but he makes sure Ryūken knows that Ichigo knows the next time he gets to see the man. He looks the doctor in the eye, holds the stare and makes sure his eyes are completely white and unnerving in a way he technically shouldn't be able to do since he's fourteen, but he's learned to do from all the pushing he does - Ryūken looks away first of course, one does not look an Other in the face and gets away shame free; they have that effect on people, the stare that says I-have-seen-into-your-soul-and-I-know-your-whole-story.
The man never bothers them, and that's exactly how Ichigo likes it.
He meets a lot of people he once knew. Sometimes he knew them multiple times and it's interesting to make sure he figures out the order correctly, but other times he has only met them once. The only person he knows -knew- who seemed to be a constant in his lives was Masaki, and after her, he knew the twins at least eleven times that he can remember. Uryū is certainly a special case with the four lives they share, but if he's being honest, he would prefer they knew each other more versus the five lives he has at least known of Ryūken's existence -he really could have lived a new life without knowing the man.
Chad is a new soul to meet, and that's always exciting, but he's met Tatsuki thrice and the only other orange haired person in class -Inoue Orihime- frice!
These are all people he likes, has liked, and he thinks he will like in the future too -if he gets to meet them again. It gets easier to catalogue people the older he gets, and the more he sees, feels and remembers, the less confused he thinks he gets.
His one constant confusion though, is Kurosaki Isshin -his father in this life.
The lives he has the Clan's blood running through his veins are easier to remember and catalogue, but the lives he doesn't have the blood, are a bit harder since his memories are so simple and straight forward -nothing other worldly to remember, nothing to make things more interesting. The most noticeable instances of not remembering, is when he's in the Soul Society cycle since the Clan's blood is not rooted there. There were instances, but as the years went by, they just suddenly disappeared.
Back to his confusion.
Ichigo's previous life was sad. He had arrived in Rukongai as a babe -his previous, previous life he had died in child birth, and because of this, he appeared as a baby in the after life. It was harsh on him, but he got lucky and was taken care of by an old lady until she died thirty-five years later. Because of his high reiatsu which caused a need for food and the fact aging was so slow, he died looking like a toddler from starvation not even a year afterward.
The life before those, which would be his previous, previous, previous life, he was a highly successful man when he died. He had a wife he survived by a couple hours and a loving Clan he left with his death. He had been Clan head, and his Uncle had been next in line to take the Headship until his sister felt comfortable taking over.
When Ichigo looked at this man -his father- he saw this Uncle from three lives ago. He knows this man from one other life even way farther back, but that's not important right now. The important part is, that he recognizes this soul as his Uncle, and while the identical appearance could have been written off as life shenanigans, it is a fact that this soul -his father?!- was not older. It was older in the sense of years going by, it was not older in the passing-through-the-rebirth-cycle way.
So, either he is reading soul patterns wrong, or his once upon a time Uncle somehow ran to the living world, started a family, and became his father.
… he's not sure which is more plausible.
When he meets Rukia, he doesn't recognize her soul as someone he had gotten to know in one of her previous lives. He recognizes her as she is right now, Kuchiki Rukia, as the girl he had mentored three lives back. He finds it a bit ironic that she is now teaching him while he's still trying to process and assimilate all the information and decades worth of memories he had as Shiba Kaien once upon a time.
Meeting and helping Rukia means he also reacquaintances himself with the illustrious shop keeper Urahara Kisuke. Ichigo intuitively knows who this man is, and at the same time does not. He feels uncertainty, skepticism, concern and resigned fondness when he looks at the blonde -all these emotions raging against each other in his brain as he tries to make heads or tails of this illusion in front of him and see the reality.
In the end, he decides to take a wait and see stance but makes sure to always look as underneath the underneath he can while in the presence of this man. Ichigo feels somehow, that this man knows more than he should about him -about what he is.
Sometimes Rukia catches Ichigo doing something he should definitely not know, but somehow, he manages to bluff his way through the small blunders and she ends up none the wiser. He's always extra cautious in front of the blonde shop keeper, and he ends up passing off as a somewhat quirky teenager who was thrown headfirst into madness pretty well.
When Uryū finds out about Rukia and him, all he could do was shrug and give the other teen a bittersweet smile that has Uryū tensing before slumping in resignation. Ichigo and Uryū have a weird relationship. It's nothing like the ones they have forged in previous lives, but that may just be because this is the first time they both get to interact with each other while they both know, so that may be why Ichigo and Uryū act so standoff-ish with each other and like they don't particularly care but also gravitate towards the other when things feel wrong.
It is because of this, that when Kuchiki Byakuya -another soul he knows as he is and not as he was- and Abarai Renji -a new soul to meet and catalogue- take Rukia away, Ichigo knows that Uryū will be going with him whether he likes it or not.
Chad and Inoue are a shocking, but not unwelcome surprise.
Meeting up at the Urahara shop, Ichigo and his friends find themselves in front of the weird portal and ready to depart. Their party is joined by a black cat that he instantly catalogues as female without having to even ask or check. He's not sure why or where he knows this cat from, but Ichigo is certain he does- somehow.
Soul Society is nostalgic in a way most everything is to Ichigo, so he doesn't find it hard to ignore the feeling as best as he can. He sees familiar places and even faces so often here that he has to stop and take a fortifying breath every couple minutes but shoulders on anyways. Uryū looks a bit twitchy too, but Ichigo knows the other teen knows much, much less than Ichigo does about their pasts. He thinks it's a blessing that Uryū doesn't have to deal with the flashes of smells, phantom wind in the air, a haunting laughter from dreams and a taste of smoke in his tongue.
When he sees Ganju, his brain just halts, freezes and glitches in a way that the next thing he knows, he's sitting inside with a warm cup of tea cradled in his hands, the darkness of the night enveloping him, and Uryū staying vanguard in front of his seated position. His face is set in an expressionless mask, and the only other being in the room is Yoruichi curled on the table and gazing through the window at the stars.
Ichigo shouldn't talk about it, shouldn't say a thing about what he saw and what he now knows. The blurry faces and distorted voices are somehow getting aligned to show the original information. He can think of a name and picture the face, remember the timber of their voice and small seemingly unimportant information if he tries -he knows about the important bits too, and at times it looks like he doesn't even have to try.
They are not meant to remember a past life so well. They shouldn't.
Ichigo feels like he can see everything right now, as if it were all neatly written down on a long scroll he can open and peruse at a whim, and the longer he thinks and analyzes, the farther back he can read.
Only one Other had ever had that knowledge, but then again, this person had seen everyone around him, not themselves.
Ichigo shouldn't talk about it, he should act like it never happened. He shouldn't have this.
"Three lives back." He says out of nowhere, shocking even himself. "Shiba Kaien was my name." Ichigo looks up to stare into Uryū's impassive eyes and ignores the way Yoruichi shifts her curled up position to look up at him with shock that shouldn't be possible in a cat. "Ganju was my younger brother."
The ensuing silence is somehow deafening, and when the raven head finally speaks up, he does it in a hushed whisper. "You're not supposed to cling to the memories Ichigo. That's how some of our ancestors have gone mad. You know this."
Yes, Ichigo does know this. He knows this because Masaki had told him, and he knows this because five life times ago, great grandfather had told him, and he knows this because twelve life times ago, his sister had told him, and he knows this because-
"I'm not…" he interrupts his own thoughts as he answers in a louder voice then Uryū's but still soft spoken. "…clinging. It all just… fit."
Uryū purses his lips but seems to understand somehow what Ichigo means and only nods. He trusts that Ichigo knows what he is doing most of the time, and to be honest, when it comes to this, Ichigo always knows and Knows more than he.
Yoruichi takes this as her cue to finally speak her mind, so Ichigo and Uryū end up staying up the rest of the night trying to explain to an outsider what they really are -what it means to be a child of the Quincy King.
"He is called The Almighty for a reason." Ichigo tells Yoruichi in the end, hoping this will somehow offer more information on why they are the way they are.
"You mean was." The black cat points out with less skepticism than the beginning, but still showing bafflement. Then again, once Ichigo started referencing things from his time as Kaien, and then started to regale them with tales of the Shihōin's childhood -because her and Kūkaku had been friends as kids, and Kaien was there for all the craziness and stupid things they got up to- it was then that Yoruichi believed Ichigo as he was midways to telling of that time Kūkaku, Urahara and Yoruichi snuck into the Kuchiki compound to conspire with then heir Kuchiki Sōjun about the Koi fish in the pond and-
"Is." Ichigo stresses the word with a scowl. "He is called the Almighty, and he is the Almighty."
Ichigo doesn't know how Yoruichi manages to project what the fuck while being in cat and simultaneously appearing impassive, but she does manage it.
"One crazy adventure at a time Yoruichi." He reminds her, his tone familiar and as reassuring as he can make it. "Let's rescue Rukia first."
"…right." Yoruichi agrees with him, her feline eyes still looking a bit lost but quickly pulling herself together. "One at a time."
The next morning they make it to the Shiba household, and while Ichigo does pause to wonder what in the blazes was Kūkaku smoking when she thought up the design, another small part of him also thinks it's the raddest thing ever. He makes sure to push that part of him as deep as he can, and forgets he ever thought it.
The first thing Ichigo does is sit her and Ganju down -with Yoruichi as his unwilling witness- and explains as best as he can, what he is and what it means for them. It's hard, and there are tears at some point or another, but they end up overcoming it all, and as Ichigo expected, Kūkaku jumps on the crazy wagon to help them in their plan.
He tells Chad and Inoue afterwards -he thinks it's only fair- and while Uryū grumbles a bit at this, he's also relieved, and helps Ichigo explain as best as they can while fielding the occasional questions - they mak sure Inoue doesn't leave the discussion thinking they are aliens.
Later, when they are all sitting for dinner and the atmosphere is a bit calmer, he turns to Yoruichi and without a by your leave asks. "So out of curiosity, is my old man actually Shiba Isshin or is he Shiba Isshin's next life?"
Ganju does a spit take and more than a few people around the table give him alarmed looks, but Yoruichi merely sighs and flicks her tail as Kūkaku grins in a distinctively not reassuring way.
"No, that's Shiba Isshin alright, same cycle and all." She tells him without fanfare.
"Huh." Ichigo huffs out as he rests his chin on his perched arm. "Guess my uncle really is my father now."
"That," Ganju begins with something akin to horror on his face as he no doubt remembers all the ridiculous things Isshin had done while he was still around. "sounds horrible."
Ichigo agrees with him but doesn't say it out loud, after all, what is a Shiba without a bit of craziness to go around.
Rescuing Rukia isn't that hard all things considered. As the days pass by, Ichigo finds his body responding more freely to his memories then it had the day before. He relearns the three step shunpo combo he had been fond of a couple life cycles ago when he had been born as Shihōin, and starts using it to surprise his enemies. He starts using Kidō little by little as lessons he has taken many times start making more sense in his brain, and he knows Renji probably took a real hit to his pride when Ichigo nailed him with a Shakkahō -the red head probably couldn't do yet without blowing up.
His reiatsu control only improves more until he's finally able to seal is Zanpakutō into a katana with a black and red tassel and a curious looking guard -having to say his release command before going into Shikai is slightly inconvenient, but he has more years of experience having to do it this way anyways, so it's not that much of an adjusting process. Now that he has a sealed state, his kenjutsu because sharper and cleaner too, because while he doesn't have any sort of memories of using the uniquely shaped Zangetsu, he has many memories of being a Shinigami, a samurai or even Ronin that he has a lot of places to draw from for a Katana.
Learning Bankai is hard and yet not. When Yoruichi finds him, not even half a day after his crazy battle with Kenpachi, she brings him to the insanely huge training area that looks like an exact copy of the one Urahara -Kisuke, he saw that little snot nosed brat come up to his waist once, he felt old- had under his shop.
She mentions it would be a good idea to learn Bankai, and Ichigo agrees with her because there is only so far you can get with experience, Kidō and Shikai.
Learning Bankai is hard and yet not.
It's hard because he's never had this Bankai, never had Zangetsu in other lives and he never will. Zanpakutō are special and restricted to the person as they are/were in the very moment a spirit choses them.
It's not hard because he has the knowledge of what a spirit expects from their wielder before they are allowed Bankai, and Ichigo is able to come to an agreement with his Zanpakutō in under two days.
Seeing Kuchiki Byakuya again, has him reminiscing about the hot-headed teenager he had been. Ichigo remembers how much Yoruichi would goad him along, and how easily the raven head would explode at her teasing. He remembers all of this and finds sadness in the fact that the headstrong and excitable boy had become this cold and standoffish man.
The whole Captain-Aizen-is-a-traitor thing doesn't surprise him much. As Kaien, he had noticed irregularities and he had been investigating back then too. He hadn't found a lot, mostly locations to check, and he had been making his way down the list looking for nefarious actions. In hindsight, that may be why in the end he and his then wife Miyako had been killed by such a… special hollow.
Once he's mobile again, he makes his way towards the first division barracks and is a bit shocked no one really stops or tries to escort him to keep an eye on his actions. Ichigo isn't really detained until he stops in front of the lieutenant's desk and finds Chojiro -he knew this man too, so many times he has known him- and asks if he can speak with the Captain Commander.
The lieutenant is skeptical of course, why wouldn't he be. But in the end he lets him through since it's so prosperous that Ichigo could do something against the Captain Commander anyways.
The Captain Commander receives him with his signature disapproving expression, but gestures towards the low table and cushions where they are served tea.
Ichigo had known this old man when he had not been an old man. He had known him many times throughout his life time as he is and not as he was. Yes, Ichigo has known Masaki's soul the most out of all the people he has met, but if there is one person he has met the most as he is right now, current cycle, it would be this man sitting across from him.
He had known this old man in his first cycle as a child of the Almighty king, and back then, before the mere thought of discord between them had begun, they had been friends -good friends.
Ichigo had been one of the top tier Quincy, and Genryūsai was powerful and crafty. They had known each other since they were young adults, and as beings of high reiatsu their aging had been slow -slower in Genryūsai's case since he was Shinigami and Ichigo was Quincy, but still slow. They would meet up to train, talk about the craziness of the world, to get some lunch or even just to sit together and stare up at the night sky wondering if things would remain as calm as they did.
He was killed in that life by the Quincy King for being a traitor.
Later, around two lives after, when he had been fighting hard for his Clan, still a little boy of eleven, and not yet fully able to understand his knowledge and memories, he had met this man on the battlefield, and been killed by his very hands as a Quincy -as an enemy to the balance of souls.
He remembers, if only vaguely, and almost as if a dream-like after thought, that Yamamaoto, that Genryūsai had apologized when he had run him through his Zanpakutō.
They've met in later cycles for Ichigo of course, but this is the first time they meet when Ichigo finds himself remembering it all as well as he does. They've spoken about his first life as a Child of the King, but they've never spoke of his death at Genryūsai's hands -that might be because Ichigo had never remembered it until now, and Genryūsai didn't know that was Ichigo- he was likely apologizing for killing a child of his old friend's Clan.
So with all that in mind, he sits across this familiar not-familiar old man and quirks a cocky smile that has the man arching an eyebrow.
"You've grown old Genryūsai." He says without preamble. "I could have sworn last time we spoke you still had black hair."
This comment has the old man coughing while he sets his teacup down on the table with a swift movement to salvage the liquid. Ichigo continues to observe in content amusement, and finds his smile quirking further up when the man gives him the stink eye.
"I should have known it was you." He says once his windpipe is cleared. "No one else I have ever met has your brand of insane luck."
"Luck?" Ichigo questions, almost offended that his genius is being passed off as mere luck. "What are you talking about? My ideas always go according to plan!"
Genryūsai sighs tiredly as if Ichigo's very existence was causing him a headache. "You never have plans."
Ichigo grins, satisfied and proud. "Exactly."
The old man looks like he wants to sigh again, but seems to refrain to not give Ichigo further satisfaction. Instead he takes a sip of his tea and gives the orange head a piercing stare.
"So, why are you here?" he asks.
Ichigo rolls his eyes but answers anyway. "How mean of you Genryūsai, can't I come to catch up with a friend?"
The even stare he gets is an even louder and resounding No then if he had yelled it.
"Fine, fine." Ichigo waves his hand in acquiescence. "So I thought we should talk about dearest old Great Grandfather Ywach. He should be returning soon so-"
Genryūsai raises a hand to stop him and gives Ichigo a piercing expression. "First should probably be Aizen. Also, why didn't you tell me about Ywach's return?"
"Look, Aizen won't be an issue anymore." Ichigo tells him without a by your leave. "I hit him with a condensed arrow before he left. He should be lying on the floor frothing at the mouth and dead by now, no doubt about it."
"What?"
"So," Ichigo continues as if Genryūsai hadn't even spoken. "The Quincy King is our next priority. And I did tell you to amass your power for battles to come like eight centuries ago. If you didn't pay my warning mind, that's on you. We have shy of three years to get ready, got it?"
The blank look Ichigo gets in return does not bode well for the swiftness of this conversation.
"What?"
Not to be continued?
Remember to vote! I find it most curious that you guys like ROC the most, when I consider it the most baffling chapter I have written to date. I swear I wrote it in an hour with madness coursing my veins. I'm not joking when I say I had to read it after typing to figure out what I had done.
Here is what it currently looks like:
RcbT – II
PomH – II
W – IIII
EP – V I
RoC – V IIII
HoW – V
TK – V I
MP – V II
PLV – I
TfTpO – IIII
TEFL – V I