It took fully thirty seconds for Harry and Hermione to process this startling piece of news. But when they finally did, the incredulous questions came thick and fast.
"Is he insane? I mean actually insane?"
"The bigger question, Hermione, is how in the hell did Ron even get a dragon's egg in the first place?"
"No, Harry, the really big question is does he realise that Hagrid lives in a wooden house? I can imagine wood having a very difficult relationship with a dragon who breathes fire! And that brings me neatly back to my original question - is Ron a complete idiot?"
"I think we all know the answer to that," Harry smirked. "But this certainly sets new standards. I want to know what possessed him to get this egg for Hagrid at all."
"Well we'll find out soon enough," Hermione sniffed bracingly. "Assuming Neville doesn't get caught by Filch dragging Ron's carcass back here."
Neville had indeed been sent on this mission by Harry and Hermione, to haul Ron back to the Gryffindor Common Room where they could interrogate him for answers. Harry was mainly concerned about the consequences of having a wild and dangerous beast loose in the grounds, but for Hermione she seemed to be taking Ron's latest act of stupidity very much to heart. It was as though his inherent idiocy itself was an insult to her considerable intelligence.
The wait was longer than either of them was happy with, but presently the Portrait Hole swung open and Neville appeared, prodding a very sheepish-looking Ron through to face his fate. Hermione snapped to her feet and grabbed the Jester's Stool, marching it to the centre of the room where she planted it firmly onto the flagstones.
"Sit," she commanded, pointing at the stool as Ron eyed her cautiously.
Ron obeyed. He knew that resistance was futile.
"I don't know where to start, I honestly don't," Hermione began, pacing furiously around in an angry little circle with her hands on her hips. "What in the world were you thinking? No, I take that back. You don't know how to think. I'm convinced of that."
"I can think," Ron protested meekly.
"Clearly not!" Hermione sniped. "You brought a dragon to Hogwarts! Is that your idea of thinking? It's dangerous, idiotic, not to mention illegal! I cannot even put a number on how many rules you've broken by doing this. Do you even realise the seriousness of what you've done? You've placed the school in danger, placed Harry in danger - and Hagrid and the rest of us, obviously."
She said all this very fast, and the last bit fastest of all. If she wasn't already flushed in her crossness she would have certainly turned several shades of crimson at her slip. She hoped Harry hadn't heard, hadn't understood why she was so animated.
But he had, and he couldn't help but grin as he marvelled at it.
Ron, on the other hand, had paled at Hermione's words. He clearly hadn't considered the implications of his actions, but Harry was solely focused on finding out his reasons for those first.
"Why did you even do it?" Harry asked, standing and joining Hermione at her imaginary interrogation podium. "I need to wrap my head around this."
Ron played anxiously with his fingers where they were sweating in his lap. "I ... I was just trying to do something nice, for Hagrid you know."
"Nice? Nice!" Hermione shrieked. "You think getting him a new pet that can burn his house down is nice?!"
"Hagrid can handle it," Ron offered. "Have you seen him? He's very big."
"Not as big as a dragon!" Harry pointed out.
"No, but he's always wanted one," Ron told them. "So he must think he can handle it. And after that three-headed dog of his, he said a dragon would be a doddle."
"You know about Fluffy?" Harry asked in surprise. "How?"
"Hagrid told me," Ron replied. "How do you know about him?"
"I met him, not that it's important right now. Hagrid told you about him, you say?"
"Yeah, when we were talking about pets we've had," Ron went on. "He told me all about how easy Fluffy is to calm down - you just play him some music and he falls asleep."
Harry and Hermione's eyes shot to one another. The implications of Ron finding that out so easily were not lost on either of them. This was definitely a topic to revisit later.
"Okay, forget about Fluffy for now," Hermione took over. "What made you give Hagrid a dragon's egg in the first place, knowing how dangerous and illegal they are?"
"And how did you even get one?" Harry chipped in.
"My brother, Charlie, works with dragons all over Europe," Ron explained. "He was asked to come here over Christmas, because the Ministry had received reports of nesting dragons in the Forest of Dean. They have a department that tracks and traces all dragons in Britain, but these were new. And Charlie is an expert, so they asked him to take a look.
"He offered to take me with him, just to get me out of the house I think. Anyway, when we got to the Forest of Dean it wasn't nesting dragons we found, but an illegal breeding operation. Dragon resources are very expensive you know. Not just eggs, but the claws and teeth, hide and blood. There's a lot of gold to be made on the Black Market.
"Charlie raided it himself, but there was nobody there. Then I saw the pile of unhatched eggs that were being stored in a hut. Charlie asked me to count them, so he could inventory the site. So I did, only I ... er ... counted one less than was there."
"The one you pocketed?" Hermione deduced crossly. "The one you just gave to Hagrid?"
Ron nodded and looked down at his shoes.
"Okay, so that's the how," Harry stepped in. "Now let's get to the why."
Ron didn't look up, and when he finally spoke after a few silent moments his voice was painfully little.
"I wanted to do something nice for him," Ron mumbled. "He's been really good to me since I arrived. I ... I know nobody likes me, that they laugh at me and stuff. I'm not that stupid. But Hagrid's door is always open for a cup of tea or a chat if I need one. I even try to eat his rock cakes, that I'm sure he makes with real rocks. I know it was silly what I did, but I wanted to show him how grateful I am for his company.
"He ... he's the closest thing to a friend I have here."
Harry's annoyance evaporated at that, drifted away like a cool mist. Ron was a minor irritant for him, background noise, really. He hadn't paid him much mind since their first few days at Hogwarts. But now he could see that being lanky and socially awkward weren't the only reasons for his sour attitude ... he was lonely. And Harry knew all about that.
And so he couldn't hold it against the boy.
"Right, well, as gestures go it's - er - interesting," Harry began. "But we cant just let a dragon stay here. It has to go."
"You cant tell anyone ... please," Ron begged.
"You're worried about getting into trouble?" Hermione snapped waspishly. "A bit late for that, isn't it?"
"Not really," Neville offered, moving to join them. "Right now, only us four and Hagrid know about this. If we keep it to ourselves, no-one else has to get involved."
"Yeah," Ron nodded eagerly, throwing a thankful look to Neville. "I don't want my brother to lose his job. My parents would disown me for being responsible."
"Responsible is the last thing you've been," Hermione huffed with a stern sigh. "Okay, this will take some thinking about. Harry? Any ideas? Could your parents help?"
"I'd sooner ask my Godfather," Harry confessed. "He'd think this was a great laugh. I'll send Hedwig to him in the morning, see what his advice is."
"No, we should do that tonight," Hermione announced decisively. "Tomorrow will be a busy day."
"Why? Are we doing something?" Harry queried as Hermione prepared to frog-march him to the Owlery.
"What ... apart from talking to Hagrid and learning how to birth a baby dragon?" Hermione asked sardonically.
"Birth?"
"We have to be prepared," Hermione declared. "If the egg hatches we have to know what to do with it."
"Why do I have a feeling we will be spending a lot of time in the library over the next few days?" Harry smirked. "Should I get my mail redirected there?"
"Shut up, Harry," Hermione frowned. Then she turned to Neville and Ron. "You two, go to bed. And don't mention any of this to anyone. Neville, your job is to babysit this one. Harry and I will be back soon."
And with that she hurried Harry from the room. Ron turned to Neville with a bewildered look on his face.
"She really is bossy, isn't she?"
"You don't know the half of it," Neville grinned back. "Poor Harry. What an obedient husband he'll have to be for a quiet life! Does your brother really work with dragons?"
"Yeah, in Romania, and Sweden, and Liechtenstein. All over, really."
"That's pretty cool."
"Yeah, s'pose," Ron sniffed. "Just hope I don't get him in trouble now."
"Dont worry, Harry Potter is on the case," Neville replied confidently. "And with Hermione Granger for company they'll think of something. Come on, lets have a mug of hot chocolate and you can tell me what your other older brother does. He was Head Boy here, wasn't he ..."
Hedwig hadn't returned by the morning, which disappointed Harry greatly. He sat in the Great Hall at breakfast as the other owls flew in and circled overhead, but there was no snowy white bird amongst the number. Interestingly, Pantalaimon soared in with the other owls - as it was his weekly check-up visit - and Hermione spirited him away to the grounds to seek his counsel, which Harry hoped might improve her mood.
For Hermione had been acting funny all morning, all because they'd nearly been caught by Filch on the way back from the Owlery the previous night, and had been forced to seek refuge in a cramped stationery cupboard. For seven breathless minutes they had been squashed together in the dark, until the danger had passed. But Hermione had been oddly cool towards him ever since, and Harry hoped his bad breath or Quidditch training sweats hadn't suddenly turned his best friend against him.
Hermione was perfectly cheery when she joined Harry at their table in Charms later that morning, though, and Harry made a note to thank Pan for whatever sage words might have caused such an upturn in her demeanour. She didn't even tell him off for mispronouncing the spell they were working on that lesson (Alohomora) and actually said his wand movement was better than hers, which they both knew was a bit of a fib.
Hermione's mood kept all through their morning break right into lunchtime, both of which were spent in the library looking for books on dragon care. Curiously, many titles were missing from the inventory. Far from bring discouraged by the setback, Hermione seemed to take great joy from the challenge of finding the information in some other place. Soon she had a little pile of tomes on alternative fire-breathing creatures, hoping that rules for care of these magical beasts might be universal.
"It's a bit weird though, isn't it, that all the books on dragons are missing?" she mused aloud as she flicked through the first book from her collection.
"I'm surprised they even have any here," Harry replied. "We wont be studying dragons, will we? So why have books on them?"
"Oh, NEWT level Care of Magical Creatures deals with dragons," Hermione informed him chirpily. "Not in direct contact, obviously, but there is a section on it. I checked the course contents when I was looking into higher education requirements."
"Of course you did," Harry teased her gently. "I suppose you just ran out of books so needed something to read!"
Hermione simply held her head up loftily and made a scrunched-up face, as Harry laughed at her pouting.
The mystery of the missing books didn't outlast the day. Harry and Hermione solved it just after five o'clock, when they visited Hagrid and found all the guides and manuals stocked up on his large kitchen table, next to the dragon egg which - bizarrely - Hagrid had placed into a baby's cot lined with a neon-pink blanket.
"Er, Hagrid ... you're not thinking of keeping it, are you?" Hermione asked cautiously, picking up A Beginner's Guide to Dragon-Rearing and holding it aloft.
"Wah? No, o' course not," Hagrid replied. Harry noticed the half-giant didn't quite meet the young witch's eye when he said that though.
"Then why all the books?" Hermione pushed.
"The egg is not long till Hatching Day," Hagrid told her brightly as he poured them mugs of tea. "I got to know what to do when she comes. Don't want the poor thing getting all upset as soon as she meets the world."
"She?" Harry queried. "How do you know it's female?"
"I just do," Hagrid sang happily. "Mummy knows about these things."
Harry turned to Hermione, who looked just as baffled as he, and silently mouthed the question: Mummy? Hermione could only shrug by way of reply.
"Hagrid, what are you going to do when the egg hatches?" Harry pressed on. "You cant keep a dragon, you know that."
Hagrid sighed deeply. "I know I can't - not forever, anyway. But I can't just leave it alone. It'll die."
Secretly, Harry thought this might be for the best, though he thought better of telling Hagrid this. In any case, he was busy adjusting a bonnet he'd placed on the egg and probably wouldn't have heard Harry anyway.
"You have to tell someone, Hagrid," Hermione insisted. "A dragon on the loose is too dangerous to be kept a secret."
Hagrid rounded on Hermione. "Tell? And get little Ron Weasley in trouble? Never. I'd likely lose me own job, too. And the dragon'd be carted off and probably put down. No, I wont do it."
"But it cant stay here, Hagrid," Harry implored. "Your house is too small."
"I could build a pen out the back."
"Dumbledore wouldn't allow a dragon on the grounds," Harry insisted, shaking his head at the notion.
"Not to mention that this is illegal," Hermione added. "Ron stole a dragon egg from a breeder and dealer. The authorities should know about that, in case there are more out there."
Hagrid chewed on his substantial bottom lip. Then he shook his shaggy beard. "No. I wont have the boy getting into trouble."
"But there must be something we can do about the dragon," Harry went on. "Can you think of no other way?"
"Well, there are caves, deep in the Forbidden Forest," Hagrid revealed. "The whelp might be safe there, and I could go and feed it till it's big enough to look after itself."
"Caves? In the Forest?"
"Yep. And there are already a pair of dragons there, that were rescued from a barbaric research centre. One had its wings cut off, and its mate looks after it from the safety of the cave. They are a heartbreaking case, you know."
"Heartbreaking?" Harry asked. "How so?"
"The female had her womb cut out, so they could extract stuff for potions and medicines," Hagrid explained bitterly. "So they cant breed. But when dragons mate, they mate for life. It must be hard for them without any young to care for. It's a huge thing in dragon culture, having babies. They only ever interact with their own family circle, see, 'cause they are such solitary creatures. And by solitary, I mean the two of them. The pair is solitary. They only meet other dragons to mate, or to hunt when food is scare, or when the dragons go to war."
"Dragons go to war?" Harry whispered, astonished.
"Not often. There's hardly ever a fight they deem worthy of their mettle. But sometimes they do."
They were disturbed by an alarm clock going off by Hagrid's bed. He stood up to turn it off.
"Sorry both, but I forgot - I have detention this evening," Hagrid announced.
"You have detention?" Harry frowned. "How can you have detention?"
Hagrid gave out a booming laugh. "No, Harry. What I meant is that I'm doing the detentions. There's been some nasty things going on in the Forest lately, animals found dead and whatnot. So naughty kids get to come with me, get a bit scared of what they see, and maybe think twice before breaking the rules again. It's a frightening place for young-un's, is the Forbidden Forest."
And with that Hagrid bowed them from his house, but not before he insisted on loading their pockets with some of his cakes, which were indeed as hard as rocks.
"He's mad, if he thinks he can get away with keeping a dragon as a pet," Harry mused. "Totally mad."
But Hermione had been thinking. "Harry, did you hear what Hagrid was saying about those dragons in the Forest?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"I was wondering about what he said, about them not being able to breed."
"Go on."
"Well, what do you think if ... maybe ... do you think we could get them to, sort of, adopt the baby dragon when it hatches?"
"Adopt?" Harry parroted doubtfully. "I don't know how we'd do that."
"We could just present it to them," Hermione went on eagerly. "If they want a baby - and we have a baby we don't want - maybe they will take it."
"Or maybe they'll just eat it ... or us!" Harry pointed out sagely. "It would be stupidly dangerous. Not to mention we'd have to get the baby dragon first, then find a way into the Forest. It's spelled to stop students just wandering in, don't forget."
"I know, but I think I have a way around that," Hermione told him, somewhat cryptically. "Meet me on the Astronomy Tower about midnight, and I'll tell you what it is. Promise me you'll come."
"Alright, I promise. But -"
"No buts, just be there," Hermione cut in bossily. "Oh, and bring your Dad's special cloak."
Harry was dubious as he watched Hermione skip away, but he complied nonetheless. At five minutes to midnight he was to be found on top of the highest Tower in the castle, shivering slightly against the breeze that swirled around the open-sided parapet up here. Hermione was nowhere to be seen, but Harry heard her as she approached. In fact, she was making enough noise to wake half the castle.
For she was dragging a suit of armour up the spiral staircase, which was so heavy she dropped it with an almighty crash.
"What are you doing?" Harry hissed as Hermione joined him. "You'll be caught making all that racket!"
"I know," Hermione replied cheerfully. "That's sort of the point. I want to get caught."
Harry threw the Invisibility Cloak over her. They were drawn so close together now that her warm breath tickled his face pleasantly.
"What do you mean you want to get caught?" Harry went on lowly. "Have you lost your mind?"
"It's the only way to get into the Forest," Hermione revealed. "We need to get detention with Hagrid."
Harry swore under his breath. "So this is your brilliant plan?"
"Yes, and I'm glad you agree that it's brilliant."
"I didn't say that."
"You sort of did."
In the dark, Harry couldn't see Hermione smirking, but he knew she was all the same.
"I wont do it. This is mental," Harry stated firmly.
"It's the only way," Hermione implored. "Please Harry, just go with me on this. I cant do it without you. I need you."
Later, much later, Harry would wonder just how pliable he was to the gentlest of pleading from Hermione Granger. It was a trait that was worthy of being teased for, and he surely would be. But he just didn't have it in him to say no to her.
"Okay, I'll do it," Harry conceded. "But what will we say we are doing up here at this time of night? My Aunt Min will surely ask when we get sent to her."
"We'll just say that the Common Room was too crowded ... so we came up here for a quick snog in private," Hermione replied breezily, causing Harry to nearly choke on his own tonsils. "Most people think we do that all the time anyway. They certainly wont believe any other story we might make up."
"T-they wont?"
"No, they wont," came a malicious voice from down the staircase. "My, my ... we are in trouble."
Harry turned and looked right into the sneering face of Argus Filch. For, unbeknownst to him, Hermione had whispered Wingardium Leviosa under her breath ... and the Invisibility Cloak was now hanging three feet above their exposed heads.