Welcome back to The Water Alchemist. I don't own any of the intellectual property of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Chapter Forty-Three

Growing Pains

"This stupid library barely has anything on alkahestry," Ed sighed, hitting his forehead into the table they had covered top to bottom with volumes of redundantly useless information. "And we still haven't found that girl either."

"It's quite frustrating," Al agreed with a sigh.

Ed sat up and leaned back on the heels of his seat, staring at the exposed beams of the tall ceiling. He was having a bad case of déjà vu, this whole ordeal reminding him of the last time they had holed themselves up in a library searching after information. It felt like a lifetime had passed since they had learned the gruesome truth about the Philosopher's Stone— they had kept something from Marina then too, and Ed frowned thinking about it. They needed better results than they had then. They pulled every book that had any connection to Xing, at the slim chance they were coded or would mention alkahestry in passing. They had quite the variety, from cookbooks to travel guides. None of them had been significant in aiding their research, though.

He rocked forward, resting his hand in his chin, examining the remaining stack in front of him. He pulled a book from the top of the stack and handed it to Al before grabbing the one beneath it for himself. He flipped the page open and noticed at the bottom of the title page was a seal. He probably wouldn't have paid it much heed had it not been for the split second the seal reminded him of the transmutation circle on Marina. He stopped to examine the circle. It shared in the sun and moon motif, but it lacked the diamonds or multiple symbols for the word 'God'. It was simpler than that, a double circle with a strange shape inside it, between the sun and moon. The constellation looked like a distorted trapezoid with an 'S' sticking out from it, and below that, there was a single word— Leo. Ed closed the book, re-examining the title a moment. The book was called 'The Vastness of the Universe: An Exploration. Volume 7.' A line down was the author's name. Mira Kim. Ed furrowed his brows. He turned to the books he had already looked through, curiously finding another book by the same author, but this time it was a book about wildlife, called 'Creatures of the Universe. Volume 6.' Ed pulled it from the stack, and Al looked up at him briefly as Ed opened the title page. There was a similar stamp, but the shape in the circle and the word below it were completely different. It looked like an elongated, upside-down 'Y', and the word Cancer was below it. Ed turned to Al.

"Al, how much do you know about constellations?" he asked his brother.

"Um, not much," Al said, scratching his helmet.

"Damnit, me either," Ed said, looking through the rest of their stack for more books that shared the author. They hadn't picked out any more books by that author other than what he had in his arms.

"Well, we are in a library," Al pointed out. Ed blinked a moment and turned in his chair, looking over the expanse of shelves at their disposal. He stood quickly and wandered to where he thought he'd find some information on the stars, and Al followed. "What are you onto?"

"Take a look," Ed said, handing over the two books to Al. Al flipped through them, seeming a bit lost.

"I already read this one. It was just about exotic wildlife. There was only one chapter on Xing, but it didn't even cover alchemy," Al said as Ed stopped in front of a shelf, trailing his hand along the spines of the books before he plucked a volume from the stack.

"Look at the title page. There's a seal there," Ed said, opening the book he had picked as Al let out a small gasp. Ed looked up at him. "Look familiar?"

"It kinda looks like the transmutation circle on Marina," Al realized, looking at the second book. Ed nodded, tabbing through the table of contents of his book.

"Bingo," he said, turning quickly to a page of interest. He tapped the page, and Al bent to see. "I think the shapes in the circle are constellations. It says here there are twelve zodiac members, and two of them happen to be Leo and Cancer. I'm willing to bet there are ten more books somewhere in this library."

"And you think they'll have some more information on that transmutation circle on Marina?" Al asked, his tone rising in excitement. Ed grinned.

"Let's get looking."

"Are you sure there's only eleven? Can you double-check?" Ed asked the clerk over the counter exasperatedly.

He and Al had spent the better of an hour scouring the library for books published under Mira Kim. They managed to find most of them, but if there were supposed to be twelve, the last one was missing— Capricorn. They eventually asked for the help of a librarian, but even he couldn't track it down. He checked the records, flipping through clipboards and files.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing but these eleven," he said, gesturing to the stack Ed had brought to be verified. "I'm sorry young man."

"It's alright," Ed sighed as he collected the stack, dragging his feet as he made his way back to Al, who stood at his arrival.

"Well?" he asked as Ed laid the stack down, and he put his hands on his hips.

"This is it," he said, and Al slumped back into his chair, Ed following suit. Ed ran his hands through his bangs, tugging a little on them frustratedly. "Argh! This is so annoying!"

"Well, we got this far," Al said, shuffling the papers he had in front of him. He slid a paper over to Ed, and his eyes widened as he recognized the drawing.

"You recreated the circle?" Ed asked, taking the parchment. It was just as Ed had remembered.

"I don't think I missed anything, but brother, I was wondering," Al said, pointing to the outer edge of the circle. "Doesn't it seem… incomplete, somehow?"

"Yeah, I noticed it too," Ed said, recalling how he had noticed that it certainly wasn't as intricate as a human transmutation circle. He brought a hand to his chin as he examined the parchment. Compared to the seals they had found in the books, it was much simpler, more straightforward. It wasn't too far off to conclude that it was incomplete. "But if that's the case, what's missing?"

"I'm not sure," Al said. That's what stumped them both. Ed clasped his hands together, stretching his arms out in front of him with a groan.

"Well, even if we don't have the last book, we've got eleven sources to work with. There's gotta be something helpful here, even though it's not exactly what we came for," Ed said, tackling the stack. Al nodded enthusiastically in agreement, and they began dissecting each word, every syllable in the books as if they had been divinely written. They worked tirelessly, eventually finding a pattern across each book— every twelfth word, no matter what book, was the same. They eventually had a strangely structured few pages of writing scribbled out between them, much of it speaking to the idea of the existence of multiple universes. Ed read the final sentence aloud. "'And the truth lies deep within each'… What's that supposed to mean?" Ed scratched his head. Al shrugged.

"I'm still stuck on the possibility of there being universes even outside of Marina's. It just seems so— impossible," Al said quietly.

Ed's own head was spinning at the thought. Honestly, if he hadn't known Marina was from an alternate universe, he probably would have written the author off as crazy. Just another scientist seeking attention, tarnishing their craft with outlandish and improvable ideas that the public would eat up. Yet, there was absolute proof. The impossible had happened, and Marina's presence on their side was the result. This Mira person knew something; Ed was sure of it. But he had never even heard of Mira Kim, and there were no records of them to speak of. Ed's brow furrowed as something began to click into place in his head. Marina had mentioned in passing that her fathers' work had been coded with planetary coordinates— constellations.

"How did I not notice?" Ed said aloud to himself, and Al looked at him questioningly.

"Notice what?"

"Mira Kim is a pen name. That's why no one with that name exists. That must be it. Which means the real author of the books would be Marina's father!"

"That's why the seals look so similar to the transmutation on Marina," Al realized. Ed grinned, pride swelling in his chest at the discovery.

"Exactly. I think we should compare notes with Marina's father's journal," Ed said quickly, gathering up their workstation. He had to get back to the hotel while everything was still fresh in his mind.

"Good idea," Al said, beginning to tidy their workstation.

Ed paused a moment, a sinking feeling in his stomach. A voice in the back of his head was louder than usual; you should tell her, it said. Without having seen the circle on Marina, they likely wouldn't have found the series in the first place. A series that directly related to her father— to her. He shook his head. He was doing this to protect her… right?

"Hey, Al?"

"Yeah?" he replied, still tidying up.

"Do you… do you think we should show Marina what we found?" Ed asked, tracing the edge of a book.

"I thought you didn't want to get her hopes up?" Al asked, pausing. Ed sighed, running a hand through his bangs as he recalled her conviction to solve her own issues.

"I didn't, but— I don't know, it feels wrong," selfish, he neglected to voice aloud. But he couldn't shake the stirring in his chest, that sense of right and wrong competing for a solution. He knew keeping this from her wasn't the right move. "I mean, this is her dad's work. I think she deserves to know about it, even if she doesn't know it might be the key to sending her home."

"Are you sure?" Al asked. Ed paused a moment. That familiar ache whenever he thought of Marina leaving for good had returned, but to his relief, replaced the guilt developing in his gut.

"Yeah," he nodded with conviction. Al hummed a chuckle, and Ed frowned up at him. "What?"

"I think you've grown, brother," he said. Ed perked up a moment and then scowled, realizing he didn't mean it literally.

"Don't patronize me, Al," Ed growled, a vein throbbing in his forehead, feeling his cheeks flush. They split off, putting back the unusable books. Ed had just finished shelving a book when a sudden shadow loomed over him, and a chill ran up his spine. He looked up slowly to see the Major towering over the shelf beyond him. Ed stumbled back on his butt, dropping the books in his grasp. "What the?"

"There you are, Edward Elric," he declared, pushing the shelves out and stepping through them. "I found you." He closed them behind him with a dull thud.

"You? Damnit, Major! What do you want?" Ed asked, his heart racing in his chest.

"Shh! This is a library, you know. Quiet," the Major scolded, looking around with a finger to his mouth. He bent down to Ed's level, who laughed nervously. "I understand you're after a certain Xingese girl who possesses a strange black and white cat."

"Yeah, but how do you know that?" Ed asked.

"Colonel Mustang informed me. I'm running errands for him today," he said, pausing a moment as a civilian passed by the open shelves. As soon as they were gone, the Major continued. "The word is the girl is headed North. According to an eyewitness, she departed by train from East City very recently."

"North, huh? Now that's some information I can act on. I appreciate it, Major," Ed said, a grin spreading wide across his face. He clenched his fist tightly. The progress they had been making was quite satisfactory to him. Not only did he have a lead on the Xingese girl, but he had something for Marina too. Ed moved to stand, collecting the books that had fallen from his grasp. "And thank the Colonel for me too."

"Hold on a second, there's more," he said, removing an envelope from his breast pocket, handing it out to Ed. "Take this."

"What is it?" Ed asked skeptically, taking the card with a red wax seal on it. The shape of it was a little strange— it kind of reminded Ed of the Majors mustache.

"A letter of introduction, but it might not be much use. First thing, see her."

"Her who? What do you mean?" Ed asked, noticing the beads of sweat on the Majors brow. He was being more cryptic than usual, and it put Ed on edge.

"Even further North than Northern Command, you'll find an officer nicknamed the Northern Wall of Briggs, who defends our border. Major General Armstrong."

"Armstrong… wait, does that mean—"

"I must go now, young Edward, but do travel safely," he said, and with a hearty pat to Ed's shoulder, vanished around the shelf. Ed stuffed the letter in his pocket, looking around a moment, wondering if what just happened was real or not. Shaking the initial shock, he quickly replaced the books to the shelf a bit haphazardly and ran off to find Al. What he wasn't expecting to find was his brother talking with the son of Wrath.

"Alright, I'm off," I called to Ivey's door, having heard her shuffling about. I was lacing my sneakers when I heard the click of a door and looked up to see her peek her head out.

"Be careful walking home," she said.

"I'll be careful," I assured her, tapping the toe of my shoe to the ground as I stood. She waved, retreating into her room. I smiled and made my way to the hotel. As soon as I got in, I quickly headed upstairs, noticing a light under the boy's door. They were back sooner than I thought they'd be. I knocked.

"Come in," Ed called, and I opened the door. He was sat on the coffee table of all things, books and papers strewn all around him. Al was at the other end of the room, engrossed in something of his own. I blinked a moment at the documents that even littered the floor before my feet.

"Uh, is this a bad time?" I asked, looking around at the chaos before me.

"No, actually," Ed said, gesturing me to enter. I closed the door behind me, but I wasn't sure how to move around the strange array of papers scattered about. I looked down, noticing a book on the ground titled 'The Natural World: The Universe Within A Biome. Volume 3.'

"A nature book?" I asked, bewildered. "Man, if I had known you guys were this desperate…"

"Hey, it's important," Ed huffed, and I chuckled.

"If you say so," I shrugged.

"Do you recognize this by any chance?" he asked exasperatedly. I looked up, noticing he was pointing to the inside of the book in his hand. I tip-toed around the papers, careful not to step on them as I looked at a strange symbol on a seal I had never seen before. I squinted at it a moment.

"No, I don't think so," I said, a little confused. "I mean, I'm familiar with the zodiac constellations, but I don't see why that's relevant."

"Are you sure?" he asked. I shook my head. Ed's brow creased, and he stared at it a moment before looking at me again, but he didn't meet my eyes. He was looking at my stomach. I crossed my arms a bit self-consciously. He shuffled some things around, producing another book. "Take a look at this. Recognize this?" He opened up another book to its title page, where a similar but different seal was with a different member of the zodiac. I shook my head again.

"Not ringing any bells," I lamented.

"Not even in your father's journal? Maybe you felt it?" Ed asked, looking at me expectantly. I rocked back on my heel.

"Felt it? What do you…" I trailed off as my hand lingered at my stomach. I blinked a moment, catching on. "How did you know…?" Ed's face darkened.

"After Father finished doing whatever it was he did to you and removed his hand, there was a circle that looked like this," he revealed, shuffling to produce a paper with a transmutation circle on it. I traced it with my fingers a moment, staring. It was the circle I had felt etched into my skin. I had tried to recreate it on my own, but I couldn't figure out the weird squiggles just from feeling it. But seeing it, knowing it existed as a formal shape, was a bit overwhelming. I could feel it all over again, and I gasped. Ed moved to stand, grasping my wrist lightly, grounding me. "You alright?"

"F-fine," I said, catching my breath a moment. I looked at the drawing and back to the seal in the open book on the table. "Ed, what is all this?"

And so, Ed explained all they had managed to find. It wasn't the alkahestry they were looking for, but when they realized there may be a connection to me, to my father, they dove into research. I was taken aback, to say the least, at their discoveries— that they'd even put their search on hold for me. The passages speaking to the existence of universes even beyond mine and this one were really mind-blowing. I could feel my heart begin to race in anticipation.

"We were wondering if we could compare this with your father's journal?" Al asked as they finished explaining the coding and how everything seemed to fit together.

"Yeah, of course," I said, stumbling to stand. I jumped around the papers fluttered across the floor, and quickly retrieved the journal, returning with it. I stared at it a moment, hesitant to open it. It seemed evil somehow, and I was afraid the thing would come to life and swallow me whole.

"What's wrong?" Ed asked, tilting his head questioningly at me.

"What Father said has really been bothering me," I admitted softly. I couldn't shake my father's involvement in their schemes, still didn't understand what the 'key' that Father had mentioned was, and maybe why or even how I had it, whatever that meant. Was I ready to know? Ed's hand fell gently over mine, and I looked up at him, at the softness of his gaze.

"We'll do it together," he assured me, and my stomach flipped.

I nodded, and we got to work opening the journal. I relayed all the information I had up until that point to Ed and Al, and we began to decipher even more than I already had. Using the books from the library, we managed to find that certain passages had degrees for the zodiac constellations. I knew them by heart, which made picking them out a lot easier, that is until we made it to a passage I had been avoiding since I had gotten it— the section on the Philosopher's Stone. I took a deep breath and remembered that I wasn't alone, that Ed and Al were right there beside me. I wasn't facing this alone. I flipped through the section, reading specifically for the degrees of the zodiac and nothing else.

We eventually found the pattern, noticing that the page numbers in the journal were much darker when there was a zodiac constellation. It took a while for us to figure out that the page number signified the number of words we'd have to count before we found a word that became a part of a sentence. For example, the nature book I had looked at early on had the constellation for Aries. The coordinates of Aries in my father's book were on page thirty-seven, which meant we had to go back to the nature book and count thirty-seven words before finding the one he wanted us to find. The zodiac's placement in the year also signified the order of the words— meaning the third word of the sentence we were building was the thirty-seventh word in the book of Aries; 'exists'. We went along like this well into the night, eventually placing most of the words.

The — Exists — — But — Returned — — With —.

Ed groaned as we hit a hiccup. Some of the pages in the journal, I realized, had the same zodiac as one we had previously found, convoluting the messaging a bit. Not only that— there wasn't a twelfth book. But what kind of sentence ended with 'with'?

"I think we should call it a night," I yawned, realizing how late it was beyond the brain fog. Ed looked just as tired, and poor Al just seemed lost. We all were. My father sure wasn't trying to make whatever he had to tell me an easy task to figure out. Sneaky bastard.

"Agreed," Ed said, nearly half asleep. "But there's something I wanted to let you know first."

"What's that?" I asked drowsily.

"We got some intel that the little girl is going North," he said, and I perked up.

"Really? That's great!" I said.

"We're going to leave in a few days," he said, and I stiffened, swallowing hard.

"Ed, Al, I… I don't think I should go with you guys."

Elias was staring at me strangely as I stirred the vegetables into the pot. I wasn't used to having an audience, but he was apparently tired of the four walls of his room and decided the four in the kitchen would be much more interesting.

"Don't like carrots?" I eventually asked, wondering why he seemed so interested in the wall I stood against.

"You seem off," he said bluntly, and my hand slipped, dropping a carrot or two to the floor. I grimaced. Unlike at Pinako's, there was no Den to clean up after me, so I stooped to collect the stragglers before throwing them out. "So, what's wrong?" He pressed, leaning his hand into his palm.

"What's got you so interested?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Bored," he said, and I turned my back, a vain protruding at my neck. Should have guessed, I grumbled inwardly. "Did something happen?"

"It's nothing," I said. "Just… the boys are heading North. And I decided not to go."

"You did?" he asked, a bit confused. I shook my head, my heart aching, replaying the exchange in my mind.

"Ed, Al, I… I don't think I should go with you guys."

"What? Wait, why?" he asked, his eyes wide and confused.

"I wouldn't feel right leaving Elias as he is— not to mention, I'm not like you guys. I'll only hold you back."

"Marina, you don't have to be like us, but that doesn't mean you can't still travel with us," he said, looking to Al for some backup.

"I know, and I appreciate it, but I want to take responsibility for the actions I caused, and this is the only thing I can think of that's within my power to do right now," I said. "I'm sorry." I held my breath as they had some sort of silent exchange I couldn't understand.

"There's no rule saying you have to stay with us," Al pointed out, and Ed scowled. "You're your own person, and you have your reasons. I think it'll be alright."

"Thanks, Al," I said, a small smile on my face. I looked to Ed pleadingly, but he averted his gaze, standing. "Ed?"

"Go, do whatever," he grumbled, retreating into the other room.

"I did," I sighed. As much as it sucked, I knew I couldn't go with them. The boys had their own mission, their own goal to work toward that I couldn't hinder any further. I had managed to improve my alchemy and my fighting, but I wasn't on their level. Nowhere near it. What happened to Elias was the first moment I had managed to accept that harsh fact. I had some things I had to sort out for myself, and I couldn't ask them to wait for me to catch up, even if I didn't want to be left behind. "But I think I upset Ed."

"Well, that only cause he's in love with you," Elias said, leaning back casually in his chair. My body stopped moving on its own. It didn't move again for quite a few moments.

"N-no, he's not," I managed to say, regaining control after the momentary malfunction.

"Well, you love him too, right?" he asked. If I thought my body had malfunctioned before, I had no idea what mode it went into hearing that. Maybe extreme denial or full-on combustion as my mind raced with the rhythm of my heart. All I knew was that I had no control over myself, and my mouth ran without my consent.

"No way! I mean, I care about Ed, sure. Like him, even. A crush at most. Beyond that? No, I couldn't possibly. There are just things I love about him— it doesn't mean that I love... no, it doesn't mean anything!" I spoke in a run-on breath and struggled to breathe as I finished, feeling different. I looked to Elias, whose expression was unenthused at best.

"Sounded really convincing there, Red," he said, tapping his fingers against his cheek. I touched my fingers to my cheeks, feeling a crazy amount of residual heat from them. If possible, I blushed harder, realizing I was probably as red as the stew.

"S-shut up," I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose, taking deep breaths, and regaining brain function. It felt like time had slowed somehow, and I was processing what I had admitted aloud. Some of it I hadn't even admitted to myself, but after speaking it, I knew it to be true. My legs were shaky beneath me, and the fire in my soul only burned hotter. I inhaled so sharply I thought I might pass out. "I— I love him."

"There you go," Elias said, and I shouted, startled that he had heard me. I waved the spoon at him.

"This is your fault! I was fine going on pretending, but you just had to go and suggest that he loved me back!" I yelled.

"Is it really such a problem since he does?" he asked, and I faltered.

"Do you— do you really think so?" I asked quietly, swallowing my pride a moment.

"Definitely," he said, and for once, I couldn't sense a mischievous or deceitful tone from him. Even his eye seemed deeply serious, sincere. I stumbled back into the counter. To think Ed would… return my feelings? Well, that just seemed like something straight out of a romance novel. Not real life. But it was admittedly a nice thought. I managed to return my attention to lunch boiling on the stove. Elias sighed. "Look, he's probably just upset that you're spending so much time here, and now suddenly you don't want to go with them. He's probably jealous. Seems the type. He'll get over himself, or he won't. I can't say I agree with your taste in men."

"Hey, he's the reason you'll be getting automail," I pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah," he groaned. There was a moment of quiet.

"Elias?"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Gross. Is that almost done?"

"Impatient as ever," I smirked with a chuckle. "But yes."

Headed back from Elias's, I had a lot of time to think, and most of my thoughts were clouded with a certain golden-eyed alchemist. While it was nice to think about, being in love complicated things. Or, it would have, I guess, back when I thought I could return home. But I couldn't anymore, at least, not with my current knowledge, though a part of me wondered if I'd ever figure out a way back. I was beginning to think it better to just accept my fate here. Which meant that maybe allowing myself to love Ed wouldn't be so… difficult. It didn't erase the difficulties we faced on this side of the gate, but there wasn't this impending send-off to think of anymore. There was just the future, and the future was filled with endless possibilities. But I was probably getting ahead of myself. I wasn't even sure if Elias's observations were true or accurate. But even if Ed didn't feel the same way about me that I had realized I felt about him, I didn't want them to leave without making amends. I made it up the stairs to their room and stood in front of their door a moment. I mustered up the courage to knock, but before I could, Al opened the door.

"Oh, Marina," he said, a little surprised.

"Hi," I waved meekly. I didn't think Al was upset with me, but sometimes it was hard to tell what Al was thinking or feeling. It was better to ask. "Uh, are you upset with me?"

"Upset? Over what?" he asked innocently, and a small smile tugged at the corner of my lips.

"About not going with you guys," I said, scratching my cheek.

"No, not at all!" he assured me, bringing his gauntlet down over my shoulder, startling me a bit. "Marina, as much as I consider you a part of my family, I know it's not right to keep you from following your heart. If staying is what you feel you need to do, then I'll support you." I inhaled sharply, feeling tears well in my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"It's not forever, I promise," I said, rubbing my eye, and Al laughed.

"I know, silly," he chuckled, and he looked back to the room before returning his gaze to me. "Ed will come around. Give him some time."

"Alright," I nodded, looking to my shoes. I furrowed my brow. "Wait, why'd you open the door anyway? Did you know I was here?"

"No, actually, I'm going to get some more supplies. Brother fell asleep, and he's not always the best at being prepared, so I thought now would be as good a time as any to stock up."

"Ah, good thinking," I said, shifting my weight between my legs, thinking a moment. "Would you mind if I go in to work from where we left off yesterday?" Al hummed.

"I don't see why not," he said, opening the door wider. "Ed's in the back room asleep, but everything's still as we left it in the front room."

"Thanks, Al," I said as he let me in.

"I'll be back soon," he left with a wave which I returned, and I peeked behind the slim wall that just barely separated the rooms. Ed was laid out across the bed haphazardly, snoring with his stomach out. I cracked a smile at his blissfully peaceful visage but felt a twinge in my heart over how we had last left things.

Well, you love him too, right?

I retreated into the front room, ignoring Elias's observations about my love life and the heat rising to my cheeks, and instead got to work. I dimmed the light, working instead with a lantern to lessen the light that entered Ed's room so I wouldn't accidentally wake him. I cracked open my father's journal and got to work decoding. I managed to eliminate one of the coordinates as a trick one and added a word to the sentence.

The — Exists — Truth But — Returned — — With —.

I scratched my head. There was something about truth in what the boys had discovered in the library, wasn't there? I wondered. I shuffled through the papers to find it. And the truth lies deep within each. What did that mean? What did any of it mean? My mind was spinning, but I kept going, eventually unlocking another word.

The Key Exists — Truth But — Returned — — With —.

The key, I pondered, my heart racing. Was it the key that Father mentioned? Where does it exist? What is it! Frustratedly, I didn't make much more progress at all, and the day was catching up to me. I noticed myself nodding off but resolved to stay awake. I was so close I could taste it— whatever it was my father had hidden. Sleep got the best of me, however, and I drifted off without even realizing it.

Ed shifted uncomfortably. He was in that state of half-asleep, half-awake, but as he tossed and turned, his body began waking his mind, and soon enough, he was up. Ed sat up with a groan, glancing around the room groggily. He didn't remember falling asleep or getting himself into bed. Al must have transferred him from the couch, the last thing he remembered from running around all day, preparing. He had been exhausted. Stretching with a yawn, Ed took note of how dark it was, save for a dim light around the corner. He peeled himself from the sheets, moving toward the light, expecting Al, but what he saw caught him off guard as he rounded the corner. Marina was sat on the floor, a flickering lamp at her elbow illuminating her face in a soft orange hue, propped up against the coffee table with her head in her arms, fast asleep. He wasn't mentally prepared to see her just yet, and he took a pause, his breath hitching, unsure of what to do. The last they spoke, Ed had been frustrated with her. He couldn't really explain the feeling, but it wasn't pretty. After she had left that night, he had a moment to ruminate on it, to dissect it, which he found he rarely did. Not until this girl came into his life and started to make him question everything. He remembered asking himself why she would willingly choose to stay just to take care of Elias, after all he'd done, and a thought came to him that he simply didn't care for. Al insisted that wasn't the case, and Ed himself knew maybe better than anyone how Marina felt about Elias, but it didn't stop the tight feeling in his chest.

It was frustrating in a way, but after the initial feeling, Ed realized that he couldn't deny that her decision was one she was well within her right to make. It was a decision that may have been a long time in the making; well before Dublith, well before Ed even knew her, or knew they'd be traveling together over the last few months. He had been the one to suggest it then, which might have been why he was so alarmed she was the one who had suggested it now. But the look in her eyes, the guilt that resided there, Ed knew it all too well. It's what he sacrificed an arm for all those years ago— to fix the unfixable. He'd have given his entire being then and there if it meant Al would have come back whole. But he didn't, and Al hadn't, and that guilt carried to this day, informing his every move forward. Because Ed would still do anything to correct his mistake, and he could tell Marina wanted to do the same. As much as he wanted to ruminate in his own feelings, he couldn't deny hers.

However, his newly realized feelings for her were overwhelming at times, and he wasn't really sure how to handle them, and he had lashed out without meaning to. He didn't want to leave on a sour note, but he wasn't exactly sure how to face her either. She shivered a moment, and Ed shifted, moving quietly back to his bed, gathering up a wool blanket. He re-entered the dimly lit room and crouched down, laying it around her shoulders. He thought for a moment to head back to bed, to leave what he needed to say until morning, but he couldn't move. He just knelt there, taking her in. Her hand twitched just slightly, and she scrunched her nose, and Ed couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face. Her eyes fluttered open, and Ed's breath caught in his chest. Shit! he thought, wondering if he could book it back to his room without her noticing.

"Ed?" she asked, raising her head just slightly. Nope, he relented, a guilty feeling rising in his chest as he'd been caught. She glanced around, grabbing at the blanket around her shoulders as she sat up. She inhaled sharply, and Ed noticed he wasn't breathing at all as she seemed to realize where she was. "I'm sorry, I was doing research, I— I'll go now."

She rose too quickly and stepped into the blanket gathered around her feet, nearly toppling over with a surprised squeak. But Ed was faster, and he managed to grab her elbow, encircling his other arm at the small of her back, and pulled her into him before she fell. The blanket landed around them with a dull thump as Ed sighed a bit relievedly. She gazed up at him with the slightest tinge of a blush dusting her cheeks. Ed was suddenly aware of just how caught up they were in one another and took a step back, releasing her only after she found her balance.

"You alright?" he asked, and she nodded, averting her gaze.

"Yes, thank you," she said, glancing up at him through impossibly long eyelashes. He swallowed hard. "Well, goodnight."

She turned to go, and something in Ed's heart stung– there was something about the way she said it, or maybe it was the implication of leaving – whichever it was, his body responded with a swiftness his mind registered only after he had caught her wrist. He held her there a moment, unsure of what to say or do, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Um, I'm sorry about how I acted last night," Ed said, loosening his grip before dropping her hand.

"Oh, uh, it's alright," she said, a little breathless as she turned to him. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "What exactly was going on with you?"

"It's stupid," he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"What is?" she asked.

"No, it's just… I…" Ed exhaled harshly. He debated admitting what he was about to, but something about the way her eyes held a genuine concern made him sing like a canary. "It... it kinda felt like you were choosing Elias— over us." There. He had said it. She blinked at him a moment, processing.

"Ed, were you jealous?" she asked. He froze but didn't answer, and her eyes widened. "You were!"

"I wasn't!" he exclaimed, but his voice cracked, and she burst into laughter. He could feel his cheeks grow hotter by the second. "It's not funny!"

"Sorry, sorry," she said, wiping an involuntary tear from her face. She composed herself and gazed up at him sincerely. "Ed, I promise there's nothing to be jealous of. There's no way I would ever choose Elias over you guys. I'm sorry that it felt like I was."

"Right, whatever, it's fine," he grumbled, crossing his arms, but admittedly, it was nice to hear her say that. His gaze fell to the dresser and back to her, and she gave him a quizzical look as he crossed the room to it, digging around inside. He closed it and made his way back to her. He held his hand out to her, in his palm, a brass key.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Key to your apartment," he said curtly, and she stared up at him in awe. All-day long, he had been running errands and making arrangements for her to stay. He bought the apartment in the morning, settled with the bank at noon, and even arranged for the furnishings in the evening. By the time he and Al had gotten back, he was beat. "If you're gonna stay, I can't have you in a hotel all the time."

"Ed," she whispered out, her palm falling over his as she grasped the key tightly. "Thank you."

"Yeah, sure. But…" Ed trailed off, barely holding in a question he really wanted the answer to. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" She averted her gaze with a weary sigh.

"It's not that I don't want to, Ed, but I have to face the mistakes I've made here. Besides, I don't want to distract you from your path," she said, brushing her hand against his, which he took gently. "I mean, you got sidetracked with my father's journal already. You have a promise to keep."

"But I promised you too," he pointed out wryly.

"One that you could actually fulfill," she corrected. "I can't expect you to do the impossible, and I don't. You kept every promise you could. You're not obligated to me any longer."

"Marina," he said, but she shook her head.

"You know what I mean," she said gently. "The last thing I want is to get in your way, Ed. I care about you far too much for that."

"I care about you, too," he admitted. She nodded into him, resting her forehead on his chest.

"I hadn't noticed," she joked, and he rolled his eyes but couldn't control the up-turned corners of his mouth. He released her, and she glanced down at the key still in her grasp. "But, uh, there was something important I wanted to ask you."

"What is it?" Ed asked.

"Nessa and Ivey won't be able to take Elias to Rush Valley for his surgery for another two months," she stated, looking up at him. He could just feel where this was going but managed to suppress a groan of distaste. "I've been thinking, since I'll be here, and all, well... I was wondering if it would be alright if… I take him to Rush Valley instead?"

"Why?" Ed asked, irritation evident in his voice.

"Please don't take it the wrong way. Trust me— I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I just want to help," she said.

"I understand you want to make amends, but haven't you done enough? I mean, you've been there every day since it happened," Ed said.

"It doesn't feel like enough," she said quietly, and Ed frowned, but he understood. "Taking him won't fix what I had done by any means, but I think it's a step in the right direction. It means that Elias won't have to put his life on hold any longer than he's already had to because of me. Honestly, I don't know if it even would be enough, but I think I have to try." Ed sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I can call Winry in the morning for a recommendation," he said, and a small smile crept onto her face.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I get it— what you said about it not being enough," Ed said, scratching the back of his head. His brow creased deeply as he spoke. "That's what I had felt the moment I lost Al."

"Ed," she said, but he shook his head.

"It's alright," he assured her, but she still wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders.

He stiffened a moment at the contact but eventually eased into it, and his arms found their way around her waist, pressing her into him, heart to heart. It was different now, holding her, grappling with the newness of his emotions. Hell, he wasn't even sure if she had felt even remotely the same for him. But it was comforting in a sense too. He knew she cared about him. And for now, that was enough.

Besties, don't hate me LOL.

So, some of you may have seen that I had posted a different version of this chapter yesterday. Since then, I have made the executive decision to change the way this chapter happens. I was satisfied with the original as I published it, however, beginning my work on the next chapter, I realized there was a more organic way to make this chapter be a better lean in. The only fundamental change I made was to the ending scene. In going back and also in looking to move forward it felt too rushed and felt like too much was happening all at once, and I was missing Ed's voice which I think is really vital to understand how he's growing and dealing with all of this. I argued back and forth with myself about making the change, but I decided ultimately that this is my story and I want things to happen this way. Apologies for any confusion. I hope you can understand my reasoning and forgive me just this once, but I promise, come next chapter, it will be worth it.

Besides that, there's a ton going on in this chapter! There's this great moment of growth for Marina, especially after such a turning point under Central, and she's starting to carve her own path. Which also implies some things for later down the line, which I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to share with you. Okay, another thing just in case it's confusing; Ed shares the materials from the library with Marina, but not his theory of the circle being a means of sending her back. She sort of just sees it as a deeper exploration of her father's work and a connection to the Homunculi's evildoing. So, now Marina has some sweet digs, the boys are set to head North, and Elias will be getting some automail pretty soon (also had a blast writing his little scene with Marina). Let's hope it all works out that way! Anyway, have a great week, and I'll see you next time!