During the day Talbott could force his mind not to wander aimlessly. He was either out on missions, the situations requiring his full attention, body sometimes pushed to limits he never even knew he had. On more quiet days he would be hunched over the desk, furiously scribbling reports, taking notes, putting everything into order for the following day.

He knew nothing of taking off days for himself and the majority of time he was one of the first ones to arrive at the Ministry and one of the last ones to leave.

It kept him in check, it kept him tamed.

Without wishing for it to happen, he adopted almost the same sleeping pattern as Talia, a few hours of sleep at night, mostly on high alert. He used to be a light sleeper all his life, now more so with the imminent threat looming over England. Yet it still felt as if it was everywhere and no where at all.

In terms of the Crane case, that was closed fairly recently after Talia's departure. The Ministry chucked it over to her running away and left it at that, they did not need anymore publicity for her and her family. Yet a copy of the case still sat in Talbott's upper desk drawer, the details of it already memorized. If someone would have woken him up from slumber at four in the morning, he could still recite names, actions taken, everything down to the letter, to every comma or full stop written in the report.

However everything inside of him shifted, painfully tugging at his heart strings, the moment he returned to the apartment. It was no longer home, it was just an accommodation in which he could wash and lay his head down on a pillow for a few measly hours.

If there was one thing he did not have control over, that was his subconscious. No matter how tired he was, sometimes images of her made their way in his dreams. Despite having taken down all the pictures with them, he could still envision her perfectly, down to the last soft freckle on her cheeks. Dreams reminded him of what he had lost, yet the image projected by his mind was as heartwarming as ever.

Some nights she would just talk to him, detailing what else she had been up to and he always blamed the letters that were still coming in. At first he was not surprised no one heard a word from her, he did not even need to address a question, they still talked about Talia, even now, after more than half a year. The worry he tried to hide behind a stoic mask made him sick to his stomach. He knew she arrived safely, Bill told him as much, however there was no guarantee that someone as stubborn as Talia would actually stay for too long in one place.

However he was more than surprised to receive word from her after around three months. His hands trembled when he opened the letter, trying his hardest not to rip it apart in his haste. And true enough, it was from Romania. And it was then another thought dawned on him, that she had just given up entirely, on fighting, on running, everything.

Now, he just stared at the ceiling trying to fall asleep, another pattern that appeared to repeat relentlessly. It should have gotten easier, he thought, it should not have been so hard after so much time, he knew better, used to act better. Turning to rest on his stomach his eyes lingered on the nightstand. If he would just open the drawer he could reach out and grab a picture of them, but he never did. He had not looked at a single one since putting them away.

As sleep finally made his lids feel too heavy to endure, he saw her once more in his dreams, soft finger tips grazing his jawline as clear eyes searched his with a mix of worry, yet adoration still shinned brighter "I miss you darling." She uttered slowly, her voice echoing softly inside the prison of her mind "
Where are you? What are you becoming?" he felt himself shiver under her touch, his chest ready to explode from the pain and shame that were threatening to engulf him entirely.

"I am so sorry Talia, I promised, I said…" she hushed him softly, a smile shaping her lips.

"I know, but I won't ever forgive you."

His eyes swung open, the blanket covering him already on the floor, Talbott letting out a groan. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he rested his head in shaky palms, counting down to ten slowly as he breathed in and out regularly to silence his mind and heart.

Stretching, he finally got up, knowing very well sleep would not happen anymore, and if he was being honest, he did not even wish to go back to bed. Lingering idly in the kitchen as the water boiled, he jumped, attention being directed at the window where an owl was waiting for him to open it and accept the letter. Taking some bird seeds from a jar on the sill, he smiled petting the bird's head as it ate happily as he took away the letter.

"I guess I can't convince you to stop bringing me these can I?" he owl tilted its head to the side, fluffing up its feathers before leaving the very way it came in "Yeah, everyone is a critic." He scoffed, closing the window and finishing with preparing coffee.

With a cup in hand, he took it to the desk, settling it down on a corner, hands opening up the letter which was sent a week prior. By now he figured, she should be sending out another one shortly that would reach him the following week.

"My dearest Talbott,

Hope Moody is not overworking you, if he is, tell me and I will send over a howler just for him. I know he has a different style, but regardless of that he is actually a good man, but needs guidance once in a while, as do we all. Hope you did not throw away the envelope, I found a lovely flower and pressed it for you. It is one of the first to bloom here in these awful conditions.

Someone from the camp told me they are call Fire Fairies but I think it's a load of rubbish. I may not be versed in Herbology and the likes, but he cannot tell green onions from green garlic apart, not even if he tastes them."

The corner of Talbott's lips tugged in a small smile as he continued to read, the small lilac flower being twirled between his fingers. Despite it being clear to him she was trying to maintain a certain level of neutrality in her letters, she still hid certain details between the lines, things that he was fond of, certain aspects that told him she still cared.

Gently placing the flower between the pages of his notebook, Talbott sighed as he stared at an empty piece of paper. The desk was a mess, most of the pages on it being letters he began writing and never finished, or he did complete and never sent them across.

"Dear Talia,

Me apologizing now for not writing sooner is redundant, the dead is done and there is no taking it back." Scoffing, he rolled his eyes "Can I just write one bloody line without sounding like…" he pointed in frustration at the paper, settling for the coffee inside his mug.

"If I am to be completely honest I have been struggling in writing to you properly. I miss you dearly, however there is no taking back what I have done. What do you even want from me Talia? What do you actually want me to say?"

Folding the paper, he placed it in the pile with unsent letters, instead scribbling in his notebook. He could either write his heart out and that was nothing he wished to do, or make the letter seem as if it was report for the Ministry, which also was not ideal. Instead he ripped his heart apart in his poems, struggling to keep the quill steady and not allow his body to give away the hurricane of feelings gripping him.

Two cups later, he finally started getting ready before the clock indicated five in the morning. If he took the long way to the Ministry, he still would have arrived by six, however the fresh air might actually do him some good, help him clear his mind.

However that morning plans were set astray as the door bell rang when Talbott put his coat on "Who the bloody hell is it at this hour?" he barked, wand out at the ready. To his surprise, Tonks's laughter reached his ears, the door being swung open with force "What?"

"Figured you weren't sleeping." She let herself inside, ignoring his glare altogether "Got any coffee?" she enquired sniffing the air, heading directly to the kitchen without even bothering to take her shoes off.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed, looking at the ceiling as if it had the power to grant him the necessary patience he required in order to deal with another human being at that early hour "Did something happen? You usually oversleep."

Tonks turned to him, sporting a cup of coffee, her bag hitting the counter "Received an early parcel and couldn't sleep after." Reaching inside, she pulled out some candy from Romania, placing them on the counter "For you."

He knew Talia would sometimes send across parcels, and it was usually Tonks who received them and shared the goods "You can keep them. I've told you previously, multiple times…"

She rolled her eyes, face shifting to Talbott's "I don't care for what she has to send." Morphing back to her normal self, she eyed him intently "Maybe if you'd eat some of the sweets you wouldn't be so sour."

His brows knit, carefully watching as she tried to be casual, yet she was checking out the apartment, eyes shifting from book cases, to the bare walls "What have you been telling her Tonks?" he took a large step, her hair standing on end seeing his vicious glare "You think I'm stupid, you usually give these at the office, so why are you really here?"

"None of your business." She countered sticking her tongue out which further enraged him.

"It is my bloody business since this is my house. So tell me what you want and be done with it." He was exhausted and it showed, his voice held a different edge when Talia was mentioned or hinted at, he knew it, yet as hard as he tried to control it, it still showed there were many unresolved feelings.

Tonks contemplated her answer for a moment before setting down her cup "I think she misses you, she asked for pictures with everyone, you included." It stumped him, mind going blank for a moment as he blinked as if he could not comprehend what had been asked of him. He did not know what sort of face he made, however Tonks looked concerned "Come on mate, this isn't healthy, you not dealing with it."

The spark of anger came back around with vengeance upon hearing her words "Get out." It caught her off guard since she never expected for him to be so radical "Did you not hear me? Get out." He did not need to raise his voice in order to intimidate, his entire aura spelled trouble, Tonks slowly passing him as she headed to the door, Talbott hot on her heels. She could have sworn if she did not hurry, he would have pushed her out if needed be.

However he did close the door in her face.

Placing her palms on the wooden door, she sighed "I'm sorry Talbott, I crossed a line. But I still stand by what I said." Silence was all she heard, however she knew he was listening to her "Come on, let's go to work together, I won't mention it again, I promise."

The door clicked open once again, Talbott towering over her "I deal with things on my own terms." Extending a picture face down to her, she beamed as she took it and glanced at it, not being able to contain the smile spreading across her lips "Don't ask me to do that ever again."

"Deal. Now let's go, I got a good story from the last mission. Tea? My treat." She patted his back as he turned the key inside the lock.

"Whatever."