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Word Count: 909
Deathbed Confessions
"I'm dying," Sirius moaned, his arm held over his eyes to the most dramatic effect.
Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing. James just shook his head, and rolled his eyes.
"You're going to be fine," Peter comforted, the only one of the friends that wasn't convinced the prank was harmless. "You know Dumbledore wouldn't—"
"I'm dying," Sirius repeated, dragging out the word even more dramatically. "Remus, will you avenge me?"
"With swords and fire," Remus promised dryly.
Sirius shifted his arm just slightly to blink an eye open at Remus. "Really?"
"I'll slay your foes to avenge your honour," Remus confirmed with a nod. "None shall survive my wrath."
James was shaking silently on the chair beside the bed, his face red as he forced himself to not laugh out loud.
Remus couldn't look at him. If they met eyes, the whole thing would be over and they'd both end up in hysterics. And nobody had time for Sirius sulking all week because of it, so they kept their gazes away from one another.
"I love you, Remus," Sirius sighed, reaching for the teenage werewolf. "Do you know that? Tell me you know that?"
"I know you love all of us, Sirius," Remus replied, his cheeks flushing slightly. "We all love you too. You should try and sleep."
"If I sleep, I will die," Sirius groaned. "And I do love you all, but Remus I love you. I want to marry you and have your babies."
"I don't think that's how anatomy works, mate," James pointed out and then promptly pressed his fingers to his mouth.
Remus snorted, unable to help himself. "Sirius, if you go to sleep, you'll be fine when you wake up, I promise."
Sirius pouted at him pitifully. "Will you lie with me? If I'm to die—which I am—then I want to know that I got to sleep with you before I did."
"Merlin," Peter squeaked, and James lost whatever control he had. Thankfully, he managed to throw up a localised silencing charm around himself, and Sirius was paying him no mind, so he didn't notice the tears streaming down his face as he cackled long and hard.
Remus just shook his head, forgoing the urge to facepalm. Instead, he gently pushed Sirius across the bed slightly and sat down, his back to the wall behind.
"Go to sleep," he said, as Sirius immediately shifted closer, his head against Remus' stomach.
"Love you," Sirius mumbled, his hand clutching at Remus' robes.
Remus sighed and let his fingers fall into the black, silky strands on Sirius head as he waited for him to fall asleep.
…
"You know he meant it?"
Remus glanced at James. Despite his amusement at Sirius' situation, he'd stayed beside the bed in his chair since he'd been brought to the hospital wing.
"I know he loves us, James," Remus agreed. "He's never made a secret that he considers us his family."
"Stop being a dumbass," James sighed. "He's in love with you. Has been for months—years, probably. He just didn't want to ruin your friendship by telling you."
"Madam Pomfrey said he won't remember anything when he wakes up," Peter piped up, his voice a little rough. He'd fallen asleep, curled up at the end of Sirius' bed. "So Remus wouldn't have to tell him that he knew."
"You don't think he's going to figure out he said something?" James asked, pointing to the way Sirius was sleeping. He'd shifted since first falling asleep; now practically all of his upper body was curled up in Remus' lap.
"Can we just not do this?" Remus asked tiredly. "You know how I feel about… romantic entanglements."
"He knows and loves you anyway," James pointed out. "Having the occasional furry problem doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy, Remus."
Remus chuckled. "Maybe you just let me sort out my own love life, hmm?"
Sirius shifted in his lap and his grip tightened on Remus' robes.
"Maybe you should let me love you," he asked, blinking his eyes open. "And let me worry about your love life?"
Remus stared down at him for a long moment. "Sirius—"
"Not that I'm complaining, but why am I here?" Sirius asked.
"Snape dosed you with a potion that made you think you were going to die," James supplied, chuckling. "Not gonna lie, he's getting more inventive."
"Ew, that was almost a compliment," Sirius grumbled. Then he looked up at Remus and grinned. "Then again, how much would it fuck with him if I sent him a thank you note?"
"Why would you do that?" Peter asked, frowning.
"Well, I'm currently lying in Moony's lap, which means I probably told him how I feel. I always liked the idea of a deathbed confession. Anyway, now I can court Moony properly, and Snivellus made that possible."
James laughed and shook his head. "You should send him flowers."
Remus glared at him. "Don't encourage this madness."
"Oh, I don't think you know what you're in for, pal," James replied. "This is going to be hilarious."
Sighing, Remus just let his hand fall back against Sirius's head. Somehow, despite the disaster he knew was coming his way, he didn't think he was going to mind too much.
He was still going to try and dissuade the flower-sending though. Snape would just use them for more potions, and Merlin only knew what would come next.
He'd had enough 'deathbed confessions' to last a while.