Love Is...
A fic by the wonderful / incredible / talented / amazing / extraordinary thezencalzona (thezenparadox) and me! Written after 12x20.
Summary: Callie and Arizona go toe-to-toe to fight for their daughter and their future.
Note: Neither of us are lawyers, so we took some license and played fast and loose with the law words.
After a brutal day in the courtroom, Richard was eager to drive home, take a hot shower, make a nice dinner, and hug his wife; after the day he had, he was particularly thankful for her and their happiness.
On his way towards the courthouse's double-doored exit, however, he paused when he came across Callie's well-dressed concourse of lawyers. They were huddled together, arms crossed and heels clacking impatiently on the marble floor, discussing an urgent matter.
He pretended to sip water from the water fountain a few feet away but, really, he was astutely listening to their hushed conversation.
"So what do we do?" one of the lawyers questioned her team, rubbing her hand over her face in exhaustion. "How can we win this?"
"That doctor revealed he was her wingman," one of her colleagues began. "We can use that."
"Right," another agreed. "Absolutely. Utilizing a wingman implies a pattern of random hook ups. So we go after her love life. We show that she's sexually promiscuous and therefore unfit to care for Sofia. Judge Rickover is such a prude. She will immediately side with Dr. Torres, who's in a stable relationship, not out picking up random women in bars. It's just what we need to win."
The female lawyer cringed. As much as she wanted a successful outcome and to maintain her nearly perfect winning percentage, she knew that line of defense was a ruthless low blow. Still, it was a way to undoubtedly win the case. "Dr. Torres would hate that."
"She hired us to win this case and, in my judgement, this is the only way." The other lawyer shook his head. "It's our only option. I can feel Judge Rickover leaning toward opposition. Can't you?"
A sigh. "Yes."
"Okay then," her partner confirmed. "Let's prepare to destroy Dr. Robbins."
With that settled, the lawyers walked away without hesitation, leaving a stunned Richard Webber in their wake.
He shook himself out of his stupor and raced down the courtroom steps. He had to do something. They were going to use his words to destroy his friend, and he just couldn't allow that to happen.
Catherine pulled the decorative pillows off the bed she shared with her husband. "No, Richard, you can't say anything," she maintained. "That would be meddling, and you and I made an agreement!" She pulled down their comforter then plodded into the ensuite bathroom to hang up her robe.
"That agreement was made in regards to Jackson and April and their problems," Richard countered. Then, under his breath, he grumbled, "And it was meant mostly for you."
"I heard that!" Catherine snapped, walking back into the bedroom. "You will not speak to either of them. This is their fight, not yours. Now: promise me, baby. No meddling."
"I promise," Richard acquiesced, but with an unspoken caveat. "I won't say a word to either of them."
"Grey!" Richard whisper-hissed from a few tables away. "Grey!"
Meredith—who had been headed towards Maggie—turned in circles, searching for the owner of the eerie voice calling her name.
"Grey!" he repeated.
Finally, Meredith spotted Richard, who immediately checked his surroundings in paranoia then waved her over.
With furrowed brows, Meredith headed towards the older surgeon. "Webber…?"
"Sit," he directed, pulling out a chair by means of encouragement.
Hesitantly, she sat down, blue eyes wide and questioning. "Can I...help you with something?"
"There he is!" Richard exclaimed, distracted. "Karev!" He waved towards the pediatric surgeon, and Alex immediately headed over.
"Dude, you paged me to the cafeteria? What's going on?"
"Sit," Richard instructed. "I'm about to tell you."
With an impatient huff—he was a doctor who had lives to save, after all—Alex sat down, silently searching Meredith's face for answers.
The woman just shrugged, turning back to Richard. "What's going on?" Her tone suggested amusement but, really, she was a little worried about what had caused the former chief to act so strangely.
Solemnly, Richard finally began. "I need your help."
Alex reached across the small, circular table to grab a few of Meredith's french fries before she could swat his hand away. "With what?" he asked, full-mouthed.
"Robbins and Torres," he explained, pausing when Alex and Meredith immediately began shaking their heads, already unwilling to help. Voice raising, he defended: "Hey, I know we said we wouldn't get involved for their sake, but that was before."
"Before what?" Meredith questioned.
"Before Torres's lawyers heard my testimony and decided that Robbins is 'promiscuous' and a bad mother."
Meredith's eyes bulged. "Whoa." She and Arizona weren't close friends, but—as a fellow parent—she couldn't deny how devastating (not to mention misogynistic) that court claim would be.
"Dude. You're kidding."
Gravely, Richard shook his head. "And I promised Catherine I wouldn't meddle," he continued. "But you two can. You need to come up with something to save them before it's too late."
"Why us?" Meredith asked.
"Because, Grey, you have kids…both biological and adoptive. You can relate to both women. "
"That doesn't mean I know how to fix a custody issue."
"I'm not saying you solve their problem. They just need a little push to solve it themselves. Again, I'm not meddling...But, maybe, you should try to get them to talk to each other. Force the issue, a little."
"If they knew how to solve it themselves, they wouldn't be in court," Alex countered.
"They just need to talk to each other. And to listen. They can come up with a solution. I'm sure of it."
Meredith sighed, "I don't know, Richard. I've been trying to stay firmly in Switzerland during in all this. I don't want to choose sides."
"No one said you had to choose sides," he assured her. "Just be neutral, and get them talking, somehow."
"But why am I even here?" Alex asked. "They're not going to listen to me. Nobody does."
"Because if you are going to get them into the same room together, there needs to be two of you."
Alex looked as though he were going to refuse, so Richard played his final card. "Okay, don't do it for Robbins or Torres, then. Do it for the kid. Do it for Sofia. I know you both don't want to see her get hurt, and if this ends badly in that courtroom, then that little girl is going to be the collateral damage."
With one final glare at his former boss, Alex grumbled, "Fine." He would do it for Sofia.
"Meredith relented, too. "Okay. We'll do it for Sofia."
Alex turned to face his friend. "You ready for this?"
"We're doing it for Sofia," Meredith reminded them both. "And because I don't want my kids to not see their friend for a year. It'll help."
"Maybe," Alex argued. "It might make everything worse."
Meredith shrugged. "It might make everything better," she maintained. The optimism felt odd, given her generally dark-and-twisty demeanor. Still, she couldn't help but feel that, somehow, Callie and Arizona would be able to work out the situation and remain friendly. The two women had, after all, gotten married on the same day that she herself had married Derek. Somehow, that meant something, and it gave her hope.
"Okay," Alex sighed. "I'm rounding up Robbins, and you're paging Torres, right?"
Meredith nodded. "Let's do it."
Callie looked at her pager again. It definitely said '911 - B24,' which meant that Meredith was paging her to the basement—specifically, to the old storage room that she lived in as a resident.
Callie pushed through the door, leaving it to swing closed behind her. Her eyes roamed the once-familiar room. Once upon a time, she had filled it with everything she owned. Years later, though, it contained only boxes and old waiting room chairs with the S.G.M.W. logo on them.
And, sitting in one of those chairs, attention trained on her phone, was her friend. Well, Callie supposed she could still call Meredith her 'friend,' even after she'd refused to testify on either her or Arizona's behalf.
Perhaps, she'd paged her there to talk, Callie guessed.
"Meredith?"
Meredith shot off a quick text to Alex, letting him know that Callie was in place. Then, she looked up, acknowledging the perplexed brunette.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Callie searched the room, looking for a clue as to why Meredith had paged her there, of all places. "Why are we in the basement?"
"That's a really good question," Meredith replied. One she probably should have thought of an answer for before paging Callie. "I uh…needed some space, and I…wanted to chat."
"With me?"
"Of course with you. Why wouldn't I want to chat with you?"
"Because I'm the bad guy," Callie sighed. "I'm the one leaving.'
"No one thinks you're the bad guy."
"Right," she chucked darkly. "Everyone thinks I'm the bad guy."
"It's a tough situation," Meredith sympathized. "Custody always is. There are no easy choices, and there are no bad guys. That's what makes it so hard."
Callie made a face. "'Hard' is an understatement."
"But everything in life worth having is hard. If it all came easy…" Meredith sighed. "Part of why we became surgeons was because it was so hard. We thrive on a challenge."
"Well, for once, I wanted something to be easy."
Meredith shrugged, offering a small smile. "Easy's boring, Callie."
"Alex, where are we going?" Arizona demanded, following him down the basement corridor.
"To this room, right up here," Alex pointed ahead to closed door down the hall. "It's where your ex-wife used to live when she was squatting at the hospital."
"Gross."
"What? You knew she lived here, right?"
"Yes, but I hate that word. 'Squatting.'" Arizona's face twisted with mild distaste and then, as something else dawned on her, even more distaste. "Eww, is this where you had sex with her?"
"Dude, you aren't even married anymore. Why do you care?"
"I don't," Arizona snapped back. "I don't care. Not at all. It's just…still weird."
"Whatever." Alex rolled his eyes. She and Callie exhausted him.
He stopped just in front of the door and looked at Arizona. "Sorry," he apologized in advance, then pushed open the door and ushered her in.
Callie and Meredith both jumped to stand at the sudden entrance.
"Arizona?" Callie's eyebrows flew up. "What…?"
But Arizona had no answer for Callie; she was equally as confused. What were Callie and Meredith doing there?
Callie turned to Meredith, taking in her clearly guilty expression.
"Okay, what the hell is going on here?" Arizona demanded.
Meredith moved around her, ambling toward the door to stand beside Alex. She pointed between the two women. "You need to talk."
"There's nothing for us to say!" Arizona vowed. "Our lawyers…"
"We have to be in court in two hours…" Callie blurted, talking over Arizona.
Alex held up his hands, stopping them from advancing towards the door. "Your lawyers don't know your kid. You do. You both do."
"You need to talk to each other," Meredith added. "Work this out. Alex is right, you are the only two people who should be deciding what's best for Sofia. That judge, and certainly not your lawyers, doesn't know anything about what either of you have been through. Together or separately, and they can't possibly know Sofia better than you do."
"You're kidding." "You can't make us…"
"Yeah, we can," Alex insisted.
Meredith held up the key to the room, assuring them, "We'll be back in an hour."
"Meredith, this is crazy! You can't lock us in here! That's ridiculous."
"I can, and I will," she insisted. "Talk." She gave them each an authoritative, stern look before she turned to go. "We'll be back in an hour."
"Figure out your crap," Alex commanded as they stepped out, leaving Callie and Arizona stuck together inside.
Immediately, both Callie and Arizona raced for the door, but they stopped short when they heard the lock sliding into place.
Their 'friends' had locked them in a dismal room together, forcing them to talk to each other.
It was going to be one long hour.
It felt as if days had passed, and yet, still, neither woman had spoken, each waiting for the other to crack first.
Finally, unable to bear the deafening silence for another second, Callie turned to face Arizona. The blonde hadn't moved even an inch, her eyes closed in either pain or fury. Perhaps both.
Desperate to trigger some sort of response from the blonde, Callie finally made an offer of peace. "I can't believe this. Can you believe them?" She knew she couldn't be alone in hating the position in which they found themselves. After all, they were locked in what had turned into a storage closet.
Arizona turned to look at Callie, asserting, "My lawyer advised me not to talk to you."
Callie's eyebrows flew up, her face reddening in sudden anger. "So now you're not even speaking to me?"
Arizona pursed her lips, offering no further explanation. She walked towards the chair Meredith had just vacated and sat down, stubbornly crossing her arms. She acknowledged that she only had any chance of winning the case if she followed her lawyer's orders, so quiet she remained.
"I can't believe you." Callie shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe what you're doing to us, to Sofi-"
At that, Arizona exploded. "I'm doing this for Sofia!" How dare Callie claim she was somehow hurting Sofia by fighting for her.
"This is what's best for Sofia. Right," Callie sneered.
"Callie, you and I might not be equal partners, anymore," Arizona reminded her ex-wife, and Callie inwardly cringed at memories of the sudden and total collapse of their marriage. "But we'll always be equal parents, and I won't let you make all the decisions. Not anymore."
"Arizona…" Callie rolled her eyes. "We've always been equal parents." She'd established that Arizona was an equal mother to Sofia long ago. Her place in their daughter's life had never been in question.
"I know that! I'm talking about the decision you made to move Sofia to New York. You decided that on your own, without even considering my feelings."
"I just assumed…" Callie began.
"You assumed I would let you!" Arizona exclaimed. "Clearly! But I'm not letting you. I won't."
She couldn't. As a mother, she'd discovered that overwhelming, innate need to be with her daughter unconditionally. From the second Arizona had heard her tiny heartbeat, she had been enchanted and, from the second Sofia was born, she'd only felt truly complete in her little girl's presence.
In fact, if she were able, Arizona would have sown their bodies together to protect and snuggle Sofia for all of eternity. And she knew Callie felt the exact same way. And, obviously, that was a blessing, but it also meant a bloodless battle for physical custody.
Callie released an impatient sigh. She didn't want to listen to Arizona's petulant cries. She might have jumped the gun initially, but she hadn't been the one to hire a lawyer.
She was tired of being blamed. "I assumed," Callie repeated pointedly. "You would agree."
"I don't."
Callie chuckled sarcastically. "Oh, really? I had no idea!"
Arizona sucked in her cheeks. It was one thing for Callie to yell, but it was another thing for Callie to belittle her feelings entirely. All day—all month, really—she had been overcome with her bubbling, boiling anger. And, sometimes, that anger made her scream. Other times—when it became too much and gave way to only hurt—it rendered her silent.
As it had in that moment.
Callie's regretful exhale rang loudly in the quiet. Sarcasm had never boded well with Arizona. "Sorry," she grumbled.
Arizona shook her head as if indifferent, and, adamantly, she forbid her wet tears from falling. She couldn't bear to lose any more credibility.
Instead, she held onto her safetynet of anger. Her voice raised in pitch in volume, and she couldn't help but think about how her mother had always described her father: Sweetheart, he fights when he's frightened. Indeed The Colonel had, and now, twenty-five years later, so did she. Unlike her father, however, all that fighting made her frightful. It made her feel sick.
It was all just fear on fear on fear.
"What I was saying," she barked, burying the fear, "Is that you made the decision for our daughter to move with you and Penny. Without me. As if I'm nothing." Just as Mark had once claimed.
"You're not nothing," Callie vowed, working hard to keep her voice pleasant. "I just thought-"
"You thought—ignorantly, by the way!—that I wouldn't fight you on it. Ignorantly, you thought I wouldn't care if you took our daughter to the opposite side of the country to move in with you and your girlfriend! You thought you could bully me."
"I'm not a bully!" Callie insisted. "You-"
"A little bit, you are!" Arizona stood up, needing to gain a semblance of strength. Though Callie still had the height advantage, standing certainly made her feel more powerful. "Look at everything you're doing, just to have your happy ending."
Callie crossed her arms. "So now, after everything, you don't think I deserve a happy ending?"
"Not at the cost of mine."
"I'm sure it feels great to pretend that I'm the bad guy in all this, Arizona. But, in case you've forgotten, I'm her mother, too. And, if I don't win this, I'll lose just as much as you. More, actually."
As her anger multiplied, Arizona stepped forward and into Callie's space. "Oh, I get it, now," she mocked. "You never loved me. Not enough. Because you never fought this hard to be with me."
And, in her mind, Callie hadn't. When their marriage had gotten hard, Callie had walked away without one look back; she'd just left. She had promised not to leave, she had promised not to run, but she had. And now, there she was, not even married to Penny and willing to destroy their relationship as pleasant ex-wives just to remain in a romantic partnership with the resident.
"Don't you dare imply I never fought for you! I fought so hard that it destroyed our marriage!" Callie countered.
And, yeah, she had made the choice to leave that counselor's office, but Arizona hadn't followed after her. Arizona had never sought her out to tell her she missed her, or loved her, or wanted another chance. Instead, she had first cheated, and then she had allowed Callie to walk away. "Besides, it's not like you fought for me or followed me. Maybe I wanted you to fight."
"I couldn't!" Arizona defended. "I couldn't fight! It took everything I had back then just to exist, and breathe, and function, and now, you're taking advantage of that!"
"I can't believe this! You think…"
At that point, Arizona was on fire, and there was no stifling the flame. "We're talking about you. You think you know, but you don't. You still think you can make the decisions, like you did after the plane crash."
As she prepared to continue, she felt her breath hitch with sudden vulnerability. "And…after I cheated…I felt like it wasn't my place. I let you decide everything because I'd hurt you so much that I felt like I owed you. But we're in different places now, Callie. I'm different. I finally, finally found myself, again. I finally learned how to fight, again. And I'm not going to stop and sacrifice everything I gained. As Sofia's mom, I'm going to fight for my right to keep her with me."
"That's exactly what I'm doing," Callie hissed. "I'm fighting for her. To come with us."
"I know you are!" Of course Arizona knew. That was the reason they were even standing there, after all. Callie wanted Sofia to stay with her, even if that meant uprooting her entire life and taking her away from her other mother. "Trust me, I know. What I'm saying is that, in the process of making all these decisions about our daughter, you were silencing me. You were bullying me into being small. Maybe you wanted me to go back to surrendering to your every decision and not fighting for what I believe, but I'm saying I won't do that. If I do, I'll lose myself all over again."
Callie sighed, conceding "Arizona, I don't want you to go backwards. And I'm not trying to silence you…"
"Did you ever think of me in any of this? About how I would feel? How hard it would be for me if you took our daughter?"
"Of course I thought about how you would feel!" Callie defended.
"So...what? You just didn't care?" Arizona asked, genuinely curious. "Because you said…you said I could fly out there anytime, and—I know I've flown since the crash—but...you know me. Did you ever even consider how hard it is for me to get on a plane?"
At that, Callie's voice and expression softened even more. "Arizona..."
Arizona shook her head, instantly resentful of the pity echoing her ex-wife's voice. "No. You know what? Don't. Don't feel sorry for me. I would do anything for Sofia, including getting on a plane every day, but I shouldn't have to. This is her home. Not New York. Seattle is her home. Mark is buried here. All her friends are here. I mean, this hospital has her name on it, Callie."
Callie had to swallow the pain lodged in the back of her throat. Still, she attempted to keep her tone hard. "Being immersed in another environment will be a great experience for her. How can you not see that? And, as you know, it's only for a year."
Arizona's jaw set as, again, Callie reminded her of what that 'year' would entail. "It's 'only a year' spent developing a relationship with someone who isn't me. It's 'a year' spent with Penny reading with her, playing with her, dancing with her...It's a year spent replacing me!" She could hardly bear to think about it, the thought was so maddening.
Arizona's renewed ire had stoked Callie's flame, again, too. "So now we get down to it," she voiced knowingly. "This is jealousy, Arizona. Plain and simple. And it's just a reminder of what I always knew."
Arizona raised an eyebrow in contempt. "And what's that?" she demanded. "That I'm jealous? Can you blame me? I'm being replaced by your resident girlfriend."
"NO!" Callie countered. "It reminds me that you don't give a rat's ass about my happiness. You only care about yourself." Needing space, she attempted to push past Arizona, towards the chairs, but the blonde pushed back. Hard.
"Oh, really? Really? I only care about myself? Is that why I kept encouraging you to work things out with her, even if that meant Grey-Sloan losing one of the best Ortho surgeons in the country? And Sofia only getting to see you on holidays and school vacations? Because I'm pretty sure that counts as me 'caring' about your happiness."
"Oh, riiight," Callie fought in a stream of invective. "You taking me to court really counts as you caring."
"I have to put Sofia's happiness first," Arizona hissed. "And she'll be happiest in her home. Not across the country. Not with a bunch of sudden changes."
"She'll be fine!" Callie opined. "Just like you were, with all the moving you did wh-"
Arizona scoffed. "My whole family moved. I was never dragged across the country to live in some high-rise with just one of my parents. We moved as a family, and it was for my dad's job. He had a responsibility to this country and wasn't chasing some-"
All at once, she fell silent. Oops.
Callie cocked her head, challenging her ex-wife to finish her thought. "What was that?"
Arizona pursed her lips, insistent to remain silent. Shoot.
"'Chasing' what?" Callie demanded an answer, guts scalded.
Arizona sighed, finally giving in. "You're chasing a resident you've been with for less than a year. And, given your track record…"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Arizona shrugged helplessly. "I'd guess you're more in love with being in love than with her."
Callie rolled her eyes. "God, not this, again. The fact that you still question how I felt about yo-"
"I don't!" Arizona interrupted, murmuring, "You were in love with me. I know that. But then things got hard, and you left."
"Again, it's not like you fought for me to stay," Callie reminded her, masking her pain with blame.
"I couldn't!" Arizona maintained, so overcome with emotion that she slammed her hand down with such force that it caused the large box of supplies to shift precariously from its perfectly balanced position. Instantly, she regretted the action, as sharp pain stabbed her carpal bones. She ignored the ache, however, forcing herself to remain hardened and seemingly callous. "I couldn't, then. But I can fight for what I want, now. Which is for Sofia to stay!"
Ignoring Arizona's wince of pain, Callie countered "Fine! You 'couldn't' then! But now it's my turn to not be able to do something. I can't be apart from my daughter, and I can't stay here!"
"Why? Why?" Arizona demanded, stalking forward as she continued to ignore her wristpain. She would have willingly endured any physical agony if it meant feeling any better internally.
Callie stepped towards her in response, refusing to give her ex-wife the satisfaction of scaring her off. Suddenly, she was in Arizona's space, in her face, nearly jabbing her in the chest. "Because of you! Because, if I want to be happy, I can't see you!"
"Oh, really? And why's that?" Arizona pressed, pushing right back. "What, you can't be stuck in the same city as me, now?"
"Frankly, I can't!"
"Well, I'm sorry it's such a hardship be around me. I didn't realize you still hated me so much."
"Hate you?" Callie jeered. "Arizona, come on, d-"
"Why else—How else—could you take my baby away?" Arizona's brow furrowed in genuine confusion, her anger compounded with hurt.
Then, she came to a realization. "I can't believe it. You...you never forgave me." Her breath caught in her throat as the ugly truth dawned on her. "You actually hate me."
"I don't hate you!" Callie vowed. "I'm just trying not to make the same mistakes again! I didn't go to Africa when you won, but this time-"
"This time, you're getting me back by running off with our daughter?" Arizona fought. "Oh, just admit it. You wanted to hurt me!"
"No, you wanted to hurt me! Again!" She shook her head, overcome with what felt like passionate loathing for her ex-wife.
Arizona rolled her eyes. "Oh, right. This, again! I'm the selfish one, and you're always so perfect, right?"
"That's not what I said!"
"It's what you think!"
And, suddenly, Callie was in Arizona's face, close enough to bite her. "You're the most infuriating person I've ever met, you know that? You make me want t-"
"To what, Callie?" As angry as Callie was, Arizona easily matched it. She saw only red and didn't even register that her body was pressed against the taller woman's, close as an embrace. "To have cheated on me back? To have never gotten back together after Africa? To have never even met me?"
"No!" Callie argued. "You jus—You just—You make me-" All at once, she was sputtering nonsensically, unable to function with Arizona invading her every sense. "You make everything so hard!"
"So, I ruined Seattle for you, then, and now you have to run away?" Arizona demanded.
"No! Don't you see? I can't be around you, because you make m-"
Callie stopped, unable to bring herself to finish.
Awaiting an explanation, Arizona searched Callie's eyes for answers. However, all that those chocolate browns reflected was confusion, desperation, and whole lot of fear.
But, still, underneath all of that unconcealable turmoil, she saw a reflection of her own repressed desire aching to surface: a desire that became particularly apparent when she finally noticed Callie's body heat, her hot chest heaving against her own.
Clearly, Callie felt it, too; and, suddenly, all her hardness diminished, fading into softness. She felt her heart pounding in anticipation as she made an implicit request. As if exhaling her final breath, she murmured, "Arizona…," begging the other woman to breathe life back into her and save her.
And so Arizona did.
Without allowing herself even a moment to consider WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING, Arizona grabbed Callie's cheeks, forcefully yanking the taller woman's face forward and against her own.
She captured full red lips in a passionate kiss, and Callie gasped at the sudden contact, feeling a shocking current of electricity run through her body. In response, she frantically grabbed narrow hips, feeling the warm, tissue-paper-thin skin beneath Arizona's silky blue blouse.
To Arizona's surprise, however, Callie didn't shove her back but, instead, pulled her impossibly closer, growling as she rapaciously gripped her thin shirt.
All at once, Callie was overwhelmed with the other woman: she was overcome by the sweet aroma of her shampoo, powder, and perfume, eclipsing the room's dusty scent; she screwed her eyes shut, feeling nothing but the softness of Arizona's body that starkly contrasted the harshness of her kiss.
And, even though Arizona had been the one to initiate it, she could hardly believe when Callie responded with equal urgency, their lips roughly smacking together, overlapping, their teeth clashing in their desperation.
They were on fire. Each woman suddenly felt laid bare, raw nerves and fragile hearts exposed.
Callie sucked on a fleshy bottom lip, feeling her temperature rise as Arizona's hot breath shuddered out against her skin, those seemingly dainty hands fiercely fisting her thick hair. She was intoxicated by the taste of Callie's lips and her rough, breath-stealing passion.
And, then, the rough force lessened, tension dwindling, as Callie's thumbs began tracing soothing circles against a soft abdomen. Finally, instead of pouring salt into her ex-wife's wounds, she silently healed them.
Arizona felt Callie's rage abate, her plump lips softening with sudden care, and the change made her head spin with dizziness. Her hands moved down to stroke the back of Callie's neck, and she felt her abdomen lurch—and something else throb—when Callie whimpered at the erogenous pleasure.
Their wet lips continued to glide against each other, devouring one another, until the need for air became too much and Arizona pulled back—just enough to gasp for air.
It was that act that broke the spell, however. Their eyes opened, hands falling to their sides, muscles growing tense, as they jumped back, realizing what they'd just done. They shivered in the cool air, already feeling the absence of each other's heat.
With flushed cheeks, racing hearts, and heavy breathing, their eyes remained locked even from several feet away: each woman desperately searching the other's eyes for an explanation or some sort of hint as to what she might be feeling.
Callie's face, normally so expressive, was unreadable.
Arizona, however, who was generally so guarded, was desperate—and it showed. Her eyes pleaded with her seemingly emotionless, stone-faced ex, begging for some sort of reaction.
Callie took a step backwards, needing to physically separate herself from the madness—and the woman—that consumed her. Arizona's eyes implored her for something she couldn't give; at least not in that moment.
Silently, Callie took another step back and the tiny bit of hope that lingered on Arizona's face disappeared entirely. She now wore an expression that Callie had only seen four times in all the years she'd known her, and all four times, she knew, she'd been the cause: once when she'd shut the door in Arizona's face when she'd come back from Africa, once when she told her she was pregnant Mark's baby, and twice when she'd walked out of therapists' offices—the latter occasion shattering her entirely.
Neither woman was aware of anything but each other until someone abruptly pushed open the door, breaking through the thick, palpable tension of the room. Callie and Arizona both looked down, breaking eye contact just as suddenly.
Meredith stepped through the door and directly into the path of all the uneasiness. It was stifling, and she immediately felt it. "Woah." She stopped in her tracks. "Are you two okay?"
Callie squared her shoulders, searching for inner strength. "Fine," she lied.
Arizona flicked her eyes towards Meredith briefly and nodded. Then, she refocused on the gray floor tiles at her feet.
"Your lawyers called. They've moved up the hearing. It starts in half an hour. You'll need to head out immediately, unless…Do you…still need to go?" Meredith asked, a hopeful lilt to her voice.
Callie looked to Arizona, who refused to look up, then back to Meredith. "I…um…"
"Yeah," Arizona finished, saving Callie from having to say it. "We do."
Swiftly and without a look back, she turned and left the room.
Even though they'd driven to the courthouse separately, Callie and Arizona arrived at the same time. And, with only one brief look at her ex-wife, Callie could immediately see that she'd shed some tears on the way over.
Her stomach churned at thought of everything that had just transpired between them. It had all been so confusing, and frustrating, and infuriating, and somehow, life affirming, too. Only Arizona had the ability to make her feel so human and so much.
Yet, even despite everything they'd unearthed the hour before, they were back in the courtroom, continuing their brutal battle against each other. Except, now, it hurt even more than before.
Penny must have noticed her melancholy, because she gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Are you ready for this?"
Callie could only offer a terse half-nod in response but, in truth, she wasn't anywhere near being ready. After the day she'd had, even winning would feel like a loss.
Soon, their respective lawyers ushered them into the courtroom.
The proceedings were about to begin.
As they took their seats, Callie felt Arizona's eyes on her but refused to look back. She couldn't stand the confusion and misery on her ex-wife's face. And she really hated being the cause.
Arizona watched as Penny stood by her side, her hand firmly wrapped around Callie's arm, as the lawyers whispered a few finals words. Callie swallowed hard, resigned.
Penny stood on her toes to kiss her on the cheek and gave her arm one last squeeze of support; Callie felt the pressure against her skin but, somehow, it didn't register. She didn't look at her girlfriend even though, in theory, the initial fight had only begun due to her desire to follow Penny to New York. The only woman occupying Callie's thoughts in that moment, however, was Arizona.
The previous hour, she and Arizona had bared their souls to one another. For perhaps the first time ever, they had been entirely uninhibited and unmasked; they had spoken their truths, shared their pain and struggles, and revealed their raw desires. Sure, they had yelled and screamed hateful words at one another, Callie knew, but—somehow—it had still felt like healing.
After having forgotten for so long, Callie had finally been reminded of Arizona's extraordinarily passionate heart.
Watching Callie and Penny's interactions from the other side of the room, Arizona knew that she wanted to be the one who stood by Callie's side. She wanted to be the one who gave Callie support. She wanted to be the one who held Callie's arm and kissed her cheek. She wanted to be the one who offered up everything. For her.
But it was too late. She couldn't do any of that anymore.
There was one final thing she could do, though.
Arizona was called to testify first. She took a deep breath to steady herself, then, with feigned confidence, strode toward the chair where she'd sit to would bear witness to her love. She placed one foot in front of the other, focused on only ending her long nightmare.
Her hands shook and her voice cracked as she recited her oath to 'tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.' Then, she took the stand, her eyes fluttering closed in an attempt to mentally prepare herself for what she knew she had to do. She remained still, eyes shut, until she heard one of Callie's lawyers impatiently clear her throat.
When she opened her eyes a moment later, she was ready. She turned to the judge.
"I'd like to say something," she asserted. "If I may."
The judge gave her one terse nod in assent. "You may."
Arizona took in the grand courtroom, took in the faces of her loyal, concerned friends, of the malicious, conniving lawyers and, finally, of the woman she had known as well as her own skin and had loved even more fully.
Gulping with anxiety, Callie dolefully looked down at her hands, refusing to meet the focused blue eyes that burned her.
"Dr. Robbins," Judge Rickover prompted authoritatively. "We're ready whenever you are."
Arizona nodded, eyes unblinking, unmoving, unyielding. Only on Callie, in complete and utter cathexis, even as she informed the judge, "As much as I want Sofia to stay here with me, I'd like to withdraw my petition for primary physical custody."
Immediately, she heard the vocal surprise of her friends, her colleagues, and even her lawyer, but nothing registered except Callie's face, as those big brown eyes finally shot up to meet hers.
"And why is that, Dr. Robbins?" the judge pressed, suspicious of the sudden turn of events. After all, if her previous testimonies were any indication, the blonde was not someone who surrendered. She had been a fierce fighter, unwilling to back down and accept loss.
Arizona inhaled a sharp breath, deciding—once and for all—the choice she had to make: to love. Love: a conscious choice, act, and decision to care for someone and to nurture their spirit.
She choose to act on her transcendent, eternal feelings of love for Callie and to reinforce them with intentional selfless action: to ensure Callie's happiness. Even if it was at the cost of her own. Even if it was at the cost her time with her daughter. Even if it was at the cost of seeing the love of her life daily. And, ultimately, even if it was at the cost of herself and the self-respect she'd finally regained.
Over the course of the last few years, she had battled her trauma, her past, her mistakes, and her losses, and—finally—she had regained her ability to fight.
Finally, she had regained her ability to stand up for herself, to protect the people she loved, to be a good man in a storm, just as she'd been raised to be.
And, in that moment, she decided to sacrifice everything she'd gained. All of it. For the woman she loved.
Love empowered her to surrender.
She explored Callie's face, who remained still as a statue, even while everyone else shifted uncomfortably in their seats, impatiently waiting for further explanation.
In a hauntingly quiet voice—but one that easily reverberated through the silent room—Arizona began, "I want you to be happy, Calliope."
She paused, noting the way Callie visibly stiffened at the sound of her full name; then, behind her ex-wife, Arizona noted the way Penny's eyes widened at the veneration and devotion that must have been evident in her tone.
Mournfully, Arizona attempted to lift her lips as she continued, "So I'm going to make it easy for you. Go to New York with…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Penny, and Sofia, and be happy. I'll stay here and visit her when I can."
With every word of Arizona's solemn submission, Callie's eyes bulged wider and wider. After everything they'd discussed the hour before, she couldn't believe what Arizona was saying. She had made it clear that, finally, she had regained her ability to fight for who she loved, what she wanted, and what she deserved.
But, there she was, taking the stand and willingly surrendering.
Callie couldn't believe it.
"Go," Arizona smiled weakly, even as she felt wet, miserable tears pierce her eyes. "Be happy. I'll stop fighting. If that's what it takes for you to be happy, I'll stop. Take Sof. I'm done fighting."
Her eyes remained locked with Callie's, even as the conspiring lawyers huddled together, conversing about how to proceed in light of the propitious change.
One virago finally stood. "We'd like to file a motion to have the injunction keeping Sofia Torres in the state of Washington stuck down immediately."
The judge looked to Arizona's lawyers. "In light of your client's statement, would you like to withdraw your petition?"
Pulling herself from her staggering stupor, Callie shook her head. "No," she mouthed simply—too quietly for even her lawyers to hear.
"We…uh…we'd like a short recess to confer with our client."
"No," Callie vocalized again. This time, it was more assured, bordering defiance.
With her heart beating in her ears at her ex-wife's impassioned tone, Arizona gently maintained, "Callie, it's oka-"
"No!" Callie exclaimed, standing up, her eyes flitting between the judge, her lawyers, and Arizona.
"Dr. Torres," the judge chastised, needing her courtroom to maintain its decorum. "You-"
"No," Callie repeated. Suddenly, she spoke only to Arizona, as if they were the only two people in the room. She couldn't see anything or anyone else. "Please don't."
"Objection!" One of Callie's lawyers shouted.
"You can't object to your own client," Arizona's lawyer interjected. Then, to the judge's dismay, the courtroom erupted into a shouting match between the various attorneys.
The judge pounded her gavel, "Order in the court, order in the court. Everyone sit down and let Dr. Torres speak."
Everyone in the courtroom—including her girlfriend—had their eyes on Callie, waiting expectantly for her to speak. But, still, she only had eyes for Arizona.
The judge prompted: "Dr. Torres?"
Callie desperately swallowed down the bile that was creeping up her throat. With so many eyes on her, she felt her heartbeat speed up, suddenly rampant in her chest.
She wasn't sure if it were caused by all the sudden attention, or if it were a delayed reaction to the half-concealed misery she'd seen on Arizona's face when she'd promised to stop fighting?
"I made a promise," Callie croaked, unable to recognize even the sound of her own voice.
She cleared her throat, continuing, "A long time ago, I promised you that I wouldn't leave. That I wouldn't run. And I lost sight of that. I…broke that promise, but now..." She inhaled a sharp breath. "I intend to honor it."
"Callie..." Arizona breathed, already shaking her head in dissent. "You don't have to anymore. It's not your obligation to stay for me."
Callie offered a small smile. "I know," she whispered. "It's my choice."
Arizona furrowed her brows, clearly not understanding. "No…" she began, unsure. "I'm saying I'll stop fightin-"
"For me and for what you want," Callie interrupted. Because wasn't that what her ex-wife was doing? Arizona was selflessly letting her go, to 'be happy,' with their daughter and with another woman. She was offering to give up everything—even the strength within herself.
Arizona twisted her lips. "I...thought that was what you wanted."
"No," Callie exhaled, shaking her head as infinite tenderness and limitless love colored her gentle voice. "It's not," she maintained softly, a hint of a refulgent smile teasing her lips as she perused Arizona's overwhelming beauty. And, indeed, it wasn't. Not anymore.
Arizona waited, her heartbeat suddenly erratic in her chest. Her heart seemed to know what Callie was implying even before the rest of her. "What are you saying?"
Callie recognized Arizona had made the loving choice to let her go and be happy; in her heart, she knew it was the hardest choice the blonde had ever made.
And, with that in mind, Callie made an equally bold choice: to love and be happy.
"I'm saying I don't want you to ever stop fighting."
Epilogue
"I can't believe we're back here," Callie grumbled under her breath. "Same courthouse, same judge!"
"Hey, you're the reason we're here," Arizona argued. "It didn't have to be this way!"
"Please," Callie scoffed. "This time, it wasn't me. You started this."
"How did I start it?"
"Your refusal to stop fighting."
"Calliope, do not pin this on me. I believe your exact words were 'I don't want you to ever stop fighting.' So, see…it's your fault. Plus, you are directly responsible for us being here today."
Catching their friend's eye from a few feet away, Alex tilted his head up in greeting, offering a little smile.
Hardly acknowledging him, Callie's focus returned to Arizona. "You were the one who said yes!"
"True," Arizona surrendered, dimpling. "I would have been crazy not to. But I'm talking about the courthouse in particular. We could've had any type of wedding you wanted."
"Arizona…" Callie breathed. "All I need at our wedding is you standing next to me."
Arizona smirked. "It's going to be a good day for you, then, because I don't plan on being anywhere else."
They shared a private moment, grinning giddily at each other, until Alex interrupted, "You ready for this?"
"Ready!" Callie and Arizona affirmed, simultaneously reaching for each other's hand and intertwining their fingers.
Together, they stood in front of the judge—the one who, just the year before, had been set to make a ruling that could have separated them forever—to promise their future to each other.
Beyond the standard 'to love and to honor' vows, they made only two other promises: never to run and always to fight for each other.
They promised to choose each other that day and every day after.
And they did.