Victorious is own by Nickelodeon. Alexis is own by me.
April Fools Blank
It was night as I tucked in Alexis to bed.
"Mommy can you tell me a bedtime story?"
"Well I already have almost read all of your books. Oh how about I tell you about the craziest thing that ever happened to me at Hollywood Arts High on April Fools Day."
"Okay mommy."
Well it all started when I came to class.
"So the lowest level of the Global theater was reserved for "the groundlings" who were the lower class people who came to enjoy…"
"You guys! I'm sorry I'm late, but my mom slammed my hand in the car door! April Fools."
"What are you five years old?"
"Really?"
"But…Today's April Fools Day!"
"We don't really care."
"April Fools Day is kinda of you know, little kids…"
"That's how we all feel."
April Fools Day is not just for little kids.
Yeah, but remember this is Hollywood Arts High.
"But…this school is full of creative people! I-I thought for sure April Fools Day would be a big deal here."
"WELL IT'S NOT! OKAY TORI?! SO JUST SHUT UP AND LET MR. BELDING TEACH!
Who's he?
I think it's a teacher from a tv show.
"Thank you Zack..Now as Screech was saying, a world without pants is like a donut.
"Yes! Yes! YES!"
"Oh come on! No one here is into April Fools Day?"
Suddenly I get tackled on the floor, and my purse gets taken.
"Tori, I'm sorry Mr. Belding took your purse."
LAnd no, we don't celebrate April fools day here."
"Now, who else has a question? Andre."
Mommy, why is Mr. Cuckoohead feeding a goat that is wearing a hat?
Maybe he likes goats in hats
"I have a front loading washing machine and lately, I've noticed that my washer isn't draining properly, and it leaves my clothes both wet and damp. Uh, what should I do?"
"Robbie, what's the answer? First, rotate the drum by hand and check for any scraping of the outer tub. Then move the open end of the whirly-doink up and down while moving the pump rod in a circular motion, while making sure that there's less than one quarter-inch of movement…"
"So, at Hollywood arts, everybody just ignores the fact."
"Yeah, we ignore it."
"Wait. Did you say you wanted a face full of trumpet?"
"What do you mean by a face full of-"
Before I could finish my question Cat blew a trumpet at my face and I fell out of my seat as Drake put me back on my seat and took off.
"Wait was that the bell?" Then the bell rang. "Oh. There's the bell."
After he said that he exploded.
He exploded!? What happened to his drinking shells?
Oh the coconuts they fell on the floor.
"Hey Girlie!"
"What?"
Cat then blew her trumpet at my face again and I fell out of my chair again as she laughed. In the hall I went to ask Sinjin about no one doing April Fools Day.
Is that a dancing lobster?
Good eye sweetie, it is a dancing lobster.
"Oh, Sinjin... Sinjin...l"
"Hello, Tori. How can I help you today?"
"Well, I was just in Sikowitz's class, and everybody told me that no one at Hollywood arts does anything fun for April fools day, and I just think that we…"
"Shhhhhh. Now now, Tori... If you're gonna be my lady, you need to do a lot less talkin'."
"I'm not gonna be your lady."
"Heh heh heh. We'll see about that."
He's weird.
Yep he is.
Even creepier than Rexy.
"Tori! Tori! Did you hear, did you hear the news?"
"What? What happened?"
"It's war, it's war, Tori, It's war!"
"In Switzerland?"
What's Switzerland?
A different country.
"Will you forget about the war?! We're going to have a pop quiz."
"But...You said that."
"It's true, I tell you! I heard it from two boys in the bathroom! At the urinal. We're going to have a pop quiz! A pop quiz is going down, Tor!"
"Oh...my god, I hate pop quizzes!"
"HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT A POP QUIZ WHEN WE'RE AT WAR!? It's war Tori! It's war! I'm going to recycle some aluminum."
As he ran he got hit by an arrow in the leg.
"AHHH! AH, I'M HIT! ARROW! AHHH! Ow! I got hit by a Swiss arrow. DANG THIS CURSED WAR!"
He later got dragged away by two congressmen while I went to class on a helicopter.
A helicopter?
Yep a helicopter took me to class.
In the bathroom Cat was dressed as Dorothy.
What happened to the color?
This is called Sepia tone.
"Oh Tofu."
Tofu? Isn't it Toto, and isn't Toto a puppy not a goldfish?
Cat couldn't have any dogs.
Ohhhh.
"Oh Tofu...are you alright? Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? It's awful hot in here. I'd better open the window!"
She put Tofu on top of a trash bin, and opened the window with a fan blowing.
"Oh, Tofu! Oh, noooo!"
As she was blown by the fan she hit her head on the bathroom stall door.
"Concussion."
Then she fell on the floor.
There's the color!
"Oh my goodness, Tofu, well I have a feeling we're not in the Hollywood Arts bathroom anymore. Oh no, wait, we are. It's just in color."
As she put Tofu on the sink I came out of the stall dress as Glinda.
Isn't that the tooth fairy's dress?
Yep she let me borrow it.
"Well, hello."
"Well hello if you please!"
"Are you a good witch, or a sandwich?"
"Who me, well, I'm neither a witch or a snack. You're talking some crazy chiz."
"Well, you do have the Ruby cell phone."
"Oh my goodness! Well, this phone is beautiful! Were all my contacts transferred?"
Then Jade dressed as the Wicked Witch came out of the stall.
"Who took my Ruby cell phone? Was it you?"
"Oh, I didn't mean to. Here, you can have it back."
"Good, give it. Dee-ahh-deeahh-dee-ahh-dee-ahh! Curses! I'll never be able to get that Ruby cell phone as long as it's April fools day!"
"Y'know, speaking of that, are we really not gonna do anything for April fools day?"
"Silence! I'll get you, my pretty. And your little fish, too!"
"Oh be gone. You have no power in this restroom."
Jade then left, but said her direction.
"Oh my... She spoke her stage directions."
"What am I s'posed to do now?"
"Well, you are in a restroom. You could wazz."
Wazz?
Something with the bathroom, but I'll tell you that when you're older.
"Tofu too?"
"Tofu too."
"Oh Tofu. I'm scared and frightened and afraid. Oh my goodness, those are all synonyms."
"Don't be scared, Cat."
Out of the stalls came Robbie as the scarecrow, Beck as the Tinman, and Andre as the cowardly Lion.
"Robbie! Who are you?!"
"Robbie."
"Oh hiiii Robbie!"
"We're here to help you."
"Oh my! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"
"Put what up?"
"Your socks... they fell down, put 'em up!"
"Yes sir!"
"Now, how can we help you, Cat?"
"I just wanna get back to class."
"Well that's easy. First, ya just punch Robbie right in the face."
Cat then punched Robbie in the face.
"Wait, was that in the movie? 'Cause I don't remember getting p…"
Before they could finish Andre left because he has to get to lunch with me.
"Sorry I'm late."
"Oh it's okay."
"Hey, where's our food?"
"Oh, here it comes."
Are those little kids dressed as waiters with silver stuff like in those dinner parties?
Yep those are kids.
"Thank you. Excellent. Man, I am so hungry. "
"Me too."
"Hey, can we get a couple of feeding children over here?"
"Two feeding children at table sixteen."
Then two other kids began to hand feed us till Robbie arrived.
"Tori! Tori!"
"I'm running in with big news!"
"Tori! It's him!"
"What's the big news?!"
"The Beverly Hills volcano is about to erupt!"
"What?!"
"In three-and-a-half minutes, this whole school is gonna be covered with hot lava! We only have three-and-a-half minutes?"
"Well... what do we do?!"
"I say we kiss!"
"Okay, c'mere."
"Not you! You."
"Kiss me, Tori."
"I want my last three-and-a-half minutes to be spent with my face smushed against your face!"
"Are there any other ideas?"
"Tori, please!"
"All right."
Ewwie, ewwie, ewwie.
I know, but…
"Tori! Andre! Have you heard?! Have ya heard the news?!"
"Later!"
"What news?!"
"I already told you! The Beverly hills volcano is about to erupt, now kiss me!"
"No. No, the new news!"
"What new news?!"
"The Beverly Hills volcano has retired and moved to Florida."
"So it's probably not gonna spew hot lava all over Hollywood arts."
"Yay."
"Yay. Wait! I just heard we're about to be attacked by killer butterflies!"
Butterflies don't kill people.
"No. Wait! Sinjin has two big jugs of anti-butterfly spray!"
"Yay. But I drank them."
"Wait! I'm not gonna eat this apple, so you guys can all share it!"
"Wait! I just got a text that says: "Apples make your hair fall out!" "
I'm going to be a baldy!?
No sweetie you're not.
"No."
"What's done is done."
I went to my locker as Jade arrived.
"Well, hey there Tori."
"Hey."
"Oh, why the sad boo boo face?"
"I guess I was just really looking forward to April fools day, and I'm disappointed that everyone ignores it."
"Well, then I guess somebody's gonna have to get tickled."
"No, don't. I'm not in the mood."
"Uh-oh. It's the tickle bunny twins! A'tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka! A'tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka tikka!"
Auntie Jade tickling you? I thought she would use her scissors on you.
"I just feel like April fools day should be different."
"Well, too bad, Tori. It's just a regular day here at Hollywood arts."
"Jade! Jade! You're late... Go to the janitor's closet."
"Ooo, right!"
"Wait, what's happening in the janitor's closet?"
"Just make sure you're there in the next sixty seconds."
Then the dancing lobster attacked Sikowitz.
"Being attacked! Ahhhh! Great crustaceans! Get it off me! Get it off me! Oh God. Get it off! Hurry!"
When I went to the Janitor's closet I ended up in an apartment.
"Hey, Spencer."
"'Sup Tori?"
Was that Carly's brother?
Yep.
Then I ended up in a game show with different clothes.
"Get ready to match the stars! All right! We're here with our next contestant, Tori Vega. Where ya from, Tori?"
"Uh, I live in the Hollywood hills."
"Wonderful. And are ya ready to go for the big money match?"
"Well, okay."
"Good. Now, you know how our game is played."
"Uh, yes. You read a sentence, with a missing word, and then I have to fill in the blank."
"Right. And if you match at least one of our panelists' answers, you win five thousand dollars."
"Wait. What happens if I don't match a panelist?"
"You'll see."
"Huh?"
"And your question is: "Dumb Debbie was so dumb..." "
"How dumb was she?"
"She was so dumb, "she didn't realize that April first was April fools blank."
"Okay. I've got a good word. Bring it."
"Okay, Tori. "Dumb Debbie was so dumb, "she didn't realize that April first was April fools..." "
Month!
Close, but nope.
"Day."
"Day"... Hmmm... "Day". Well, let's see if you match anybody. Andre?"
"Roses are red, storm clouds are gray, Debbie's so dumb, she didn't realize it was April fools... ...Lobster."
"What's the lobster... Ahhh! Wait…"
The lobster then came and shoved me down then took off.
"All right, now get up."
"Jade, what's your answer?"
"I figured she was so dumb, she thought April first was April fools... ...Berry."
"That's a thing, right?"
"April fools Berry, that's a thing."
"Oh, you're a thing. A foul beast of a thing!"
"No, no, no. No, no, no. It's not my fault that she said Berry... wait. But she said Berry."
I ended up on the ground again by the dancing lobster again.
"All right, upsee-daisy. Robbie...?"
"Yesss? Yesss, what is it Sikowitz? Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that a April first was April fools... "Foot". Oh shut up you people, I was on Broadway."
"Cat, it's your turn."
"Wait, the lobster forgot to push Tori down."
"Oh yes."
"Cat, why would you remind…"
Once again on the ground by the dancing lobster.
"Will you get up?"
"Cat... Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that April first was April fools blank."
"I said... "Blank"."
"Cat."
"I said blank. I love president Ford!"
"We're not gonna bring out the lobster for that one. Beck!"
"Well, I'm sorry darlin', I'm starving, so I said "onion rings"."
"I know."
I fell on the ground myself without the dancing lobster pushing me.
"Okay, one last chance."
"Your sister Trina."
"Come on, Trina!"
"Well... I said... "Cut to the next scene"."
"Awww, your stupid card brought us to this scene! You cost me five thousand dollars! But I want an oompa loompa nowwwww."
Oompa Loompa?
"You can't have an oompa…"
"Happy Birthday!"
"It's not my birthday."
"Touchdown!"
"There's no football game."
"Where's the beef?!"
Huh?
"Okay, kids won't get that reference! And it's April fools day! You'll get it."
"Hello, Tori."
"Hey, mister drysdale. Oh guys, this is my neighbor, mister drysdale."
We have a neighbor named Drysdale?
Nope.
"These are my friends. So, what can I help ya with?"
"Well... my wife says that I talk too much, and that I never dance. What should I do?"
"It's nine on the dot
and we just talk and we talk
and I just want it to stop
'cuz aren't we here for the music
and if you dare just get up out of your chair
'cuz this ain't goin' nowhere
we gotta move or you'll lose it
all I wanna know
is when we're letting go so
we can get this record to break
why we wastin' time
we never can rewind
all I'm really tryin' to say is shut up and dance
show me whatcha got
shut up and dance
are you in or not?
you're movin' your mouth
baby, don't speak
shut up and dance if you're into me
'cuz I can't wait no more to get on the floor don't stop now it's our chance
to shut up and dance 'till we drop
'cuz I'm sick of this space
in-between you and me
light it up 'til we're makin' a scene
quit the talk, let it rock
if you know what I mean
well, shut up and dance
show me whatcha got
well, shut up and dance
are you in or not?
you're movin' your mouth
baby, don't speak
shut up and dance if you're into me
'cuz I can't wait no more to get on the floor
don't stop now it's our chance
to shut up and dance dance, dance, yeah
shut up and dance dance, dance, yeah
put up your hands hands, hands, yeah
shut up and dance dance, dance, yeah
shut up and dance!"
"Then we all fell and celebrated. That was the end of the craziest day I had at Hollywood Arts High."
When I finished Alexis was fast asleep.
"Good night sweetie." I said as I kissed her head, and left the room as I saw Trina with a paper bag.
"What are you going to do with that paper bag?"
"I'm going to pop it in front of Alexis as a last April Fools prank."
"You wouldn't dare?"
"This is my last shot to prank her before she pranks me in our prank war."
The whole day both Alexis and Trina had a huge prank war against each which would end with Alexis going to bed.
"Hey what this?" I asked seeing a note on the string to the attic.
"Pull here to be famous."
"Ooh my last shot at being famous." The minute Trina pulled the string down the attic door came down with lots of rubber ducks falling out and downpour on Trina till she was covered with a huge pile of rubber ducks.
"There's another note here."
"What does it say?"
"It saids April Fools Auntie Trina."
I didn't know Alexis was awake, and giggling that she won the April Fools prank war as she went back to sleep.