Another chapter. I never said my upload schedule would be consistent, now did I? But at least it's much better than taking an ETERNITY of a hiatus again. lol I do promise that I don't intend to leave this story that long again unless I've finished it, but I do want to warn you guys. I'm getting married in less than a month and trying desperately to somehow get these last degree credits finished around COVID restrictions, so if things go dark for a couple months, give or take, in the near future, I don't want you guys to panic.

At any rate, let's get on with this, shall we?

Note: Oh, you know the drill, already.

Chapter 43: Save Yourself

I'm the devil's son, straight out of hell

And you're an angel with a haunted heart

If you're smart you'd run and protect yourself

From the demon living in the dark

There's nothing to be gained, 'cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness

(I'll never understand my sickness)

...

You're the perfect drug, when it hurts like hell

I've never needed anyone so much

There's no one else I love and I curse myself

'Cause the right thing is to give you up

I'm overcome by shame, 'cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness

(I'll never understand my sickness)

...

Save Yourself - My Darkest Days

"I told that idiot not to go hunting right in the center of town!" a frustrated voice yelled imperceptible to living ears, the accompanying crash of metal panels the only indication of the invading presence.

Night had fallen around Karakura, shrouding its outskirts in almost suffocating darkness with the moonlight obscured by heavy cloud cover. It made the scenery of the older industrial district seem that much more ghostly. No soul, living or dead, ventured too close to the abandoned trainyards on a normal day. Nor would they dare to now, not with the current occupants of the warehouse that used to serve as a way station.

With a growl of rage, one of the slimmer black-clad figures produced a fireball, flinging it at another loose pile of tin plating, the shattering of which doing nothing to abate his anger. "That imbecile just revealed us to the Soul Society like a beacon! Not only that, but to the damned kid! What in the hell are we supposed to do now?!"

"Keep it down, Shuren" the apparent leader said boredly as he sat upon a haphazard stack of steel beams in the shadows of the building, sounding more annoyed than anything. "You're gonna give me a migraine…"

"It was bound to happen sooner or later" the tentacled figure said to placate the situation in a near monotone, slithering out from the pitch-black corners to rest between the master and the irate pyromancer identified as Shuren. "After breaking through the gates, the miasma is steadily pouring out into this world. I doubt it would've taken much longer for them to notice."

Gritting his teeth behind his mask, his seething slowly abated with a prolonged sigh. "Even so…All they would've had to go on would have been a hunch, but now…they'll know we've broken out. Any bright ideas if they all happen to come knocking at our door, Gunjō?" he asked pointedly at his more Lovecraftian compatriot.

"I'll smash them…" the deep rumble of a voice from the mountainous ape-like monstrosity answered with certainty, clenching his massive fist.

"Always with brute force with you, Garogai" the gravelly yet effeminate reply came out of the more rotund one of the group. Even as he leaned by the archway letting in the only source of dim light, seeming to pose as if his hidden grotesque form were something model-esque, he appeared to swoon behind his disguise. "So strong, yet so dull witted. Still, I'm ready for a taste of their power…I can't wait to swallow down such delightful morsels…so much better than those disgusting hollows…"

"You'll get your fill, Taikon" the ringleader said, a smile clear in his voice. "I'm sure they'll come flocking in to reinforce their grunts here after Murakumo's little show…and if Kurosaki doesn't free us, then all the more souls for you in the end…"

"I still don't see why you don't feel inclined to hunt as well" Taikon chided, crossing his bloated arms. "Never mind the delicacy, you'll be getting weaker and weaker from the effort of staying out here without the sustenance."

The grin could just barely be made out within the shadows. "I don't plan on making my move until Hell has made its way all the way out here. When that happens, we won't need these rags holding us down."

'That overconfidence is going to get you sent right back to the pits…' Shuren thought to himself heatedly, his spiteful glare hidden behind his mask. If their supposed orchestrator could see just how hard the pyromancer was clenching his fist, he didn't show it. 'And I'll enjoy being the one wiping you out and sending you back myself…'

With a dark chuckle, the Togabito in charge leaned forward, revealing a shock of long and ragged looking white hair partially obscured by black cloth wrappings. They came to sit over his right eye completely, only revealing his left along with the rest of his features from the nose down. Though lean, he seemed a handsome man not even outside his early twenties, although the rage and torment within his one visible dark lavender eye spoke of decades or even centuries in eternal damnation since his death. The rest of the wraps fell to end like a scarf wound around his neck, and his hands coming to lace together under his chin showcased the dark gloves covering up to his elbows. He wore off-white robes with staggered vertical stripes, one side with a sleeve ending in tatters at his wrist and the other torn off at the shoulder to reveal his well-toned and harshly defined left arm.

"Let them come. Even with these disguises holding us back, it would take their biggest and baddest to get in our way." Humor seemed to spark in his gaze and in his feral grin. "They'll just be more fuel to the fire for Kurosaki's growth. And when he's finally pushed to the edge, he'll break our chains…as long as Hell doesn't consume Earth first, anyway!"

His head jerked back with a long peel of maniacal baritone laughter, echoing out far into the night for those with the sensitivity to hear it. It was unclear, even as a couple of his comrades joined in his infectious jeering, whether it was born of the desperation in anguish from his torture in hell or from long before when he lived and breathed, but this cacophony of sound proved one thing. This man was ruled by a cruel and vicious insanity. And if his plans were to come to fruition, it would surely infect the world.

Far across town in the suburbs, all was indeed quiet no matter the circumstance. Only the staunchest night owls were still up and about within their homes at this hour, and those were few and far between. For the vast majority, their houses were dark. At first glance, one would think that all were safely tucked away in their beds and carrying on in dreamland without a care.

Ichigo Kurosaki was not one of these cases, and not since he and Rukia had first admitted their feelings for one another had this been the case.

Brown orbs were wide open in conflict, his thoughts and emotions running wild in his head as he bore a hole into the ceiling with his stare. He lay in bed with only a sheet to cover his bare body, well that and the equally naked form of his angel draped across him. When they had finally made it home after what amounted to an extremely stressful day and managed to escape to their room earlier in the evening, the strawberry blonde wasted little time in bringing her into his arms for an almost desperate kiss. One drawn out and passionate love-making session later, he'd lulled her to peaceful sleep with his usual short and sweet pillow talk (a couple 'I love you's and a 'I'll never let you go' or something to that affect in Ichigo's case; let it be known that he was never a very cushy lovey dovey type of guy ) and the stroking of her raven locks.

Even as he continued to ever so gently run his fingers through her silken soft hair, he could not take his mind away from everything that had happened in the previous hours. Some new threat quite literally straight out of Hell was running loose somewhere in Karakura Town aiming for him specifically. For what reason, he had no clue. As always, he could barely remember when his Hollow took control, so it made it harder to garner clues as to what might have been the Sinner's ultimate goal before he was dragged back down through the gates. Rukia only caught the very end of it all when she jumped in to save him as he wrestled back control of the reigns, so she didn't have any answers for him either, other than exactly what their adversary had been. She had had no idea they could even get through to the world of the living in the first place and had never heard very much of what exactly went on in the plane of Hell, so she really had no precedent to go on. One thing was clear. He was a powerful son of a bitch to be sure, strong enough to drag his hollow out.

That was another thing. All it took was one good hit to Rukia for his inner monster to rear its ugly head. Before, it took imminent death on her part for him to go rabid. Sure, Tessai needed a little while to make sure her ribs were healed properly after the nasty hit she took, speaking volumes considering his mastery of kido, but otherwise, he shouldn't have been set off so easily. It definitely gave credence to Hirako's claims about something affecting him as well as the rest of the Visoreds, and he had to wonder if it had anything to do with the Togabito and his buddies showing up. The fact that like the time before, the hollow was more or less acting only on the Substitute's own will and outrage was merely an afterthought.

Something had to give here. His darker half was closer to the surface than it ever had been previously, and even then, as much as he had tried his hardest to forget and just lose himself in his time with Rukia, his fears hadn't gone away. Current events had only amplified them. He couldn't just stand by any longer and hope that his limited control would be enough.

As his eyes trailed down to the peaceful face of his lover on his chest, shrouded just a bit by her slightly messy hair, he couldn't help his thoughts drifting to his mother. He knew better now that her death wasn't, well, entirely his doing, but it was in his nature to still lay some of the blame on himself. He had been the target of Grand Fisher, after all. What's more, he had been too weak to do anything to stop it. There was no question in his mind, despite Rukia constantly telling him that he had no reason to fault himself whenever the subject had come up in the past.

"Never mind the fact that you were barely aware of the spirits around you at the time if at all, you were a child, Ichigo. There was nothing you could have done. It's just like you said about Kaien, in his own way. She made the choice to protect you. Your mother loved you, and she did what she had to do to protect her child…as any good mother would have, as anyone would have for someone they truly loved…as I would have for you…"

A bittersweet smile spread just a little on his face at the memory. He didn't have the heart to refuse Rukia outright and just took her words for what they were worth. Times like that, he could take solace in her loving comfort and try to forget. This time, though, this time was different.

Ichigo couldn't begin to handle the thought of his monstrous side coming out on a whim, as seemed to be getting closer to the case. If there was no enemy to take the brunt of his rage, no one who could stand up to him and stop him long enough to regain his senses…above all else, he was terrified of doing something to…hurt Rukia. There would be no question in his mind who was at fault. There would be no assuaging his guilt. It would break his heart beyond repair to lose her, especially at his own hand. And he knew that without a doubt, his end would soon follow hers.

'Careful, King…'

His body went ramrod straight, an artic chill going down his spine as the words seeped into his mind.

'…So afraid…I can smell it in the air…I can feel it all around me in here…It's making me wanna go wild…'

A cold sweat broke out on his skin as a darkness seemed to materialize across the ceiling, an inky smoke slowly spiraling outward. Even as he swallowed hard, trembling involuntarily, two piercing golden lights peered out from the void, coming to focus on him in the shape of eyes as dark as pitch. He couldn't fathom how, but amidst the black, he could somehow make out a shape beneath the eyes, like a massive Cheshire grin. The teeth seemed to glisten even as they matched the void surrounding them in shade.

'Poor, poor little Ichigo…' The mouth didn't move, but he knew the voice, so much like his own, was coming from behind that razor trap sneering at him.

This had to be a nightmare. He had to have fallen asleep, there was no way this was real. He could just barely shake his head to try and clear the ghastly vision in front of him, all of his muscles paralyzed with fear. A night terror, that had to be it.

'All your worst nightmares rolled into one, more like, right King?'

He froze completely. 'This…can't be real…You can't be…'

'Your fear feeds me…Drives me closer to taking control…Or couldn't you tell?'

The menace in the chuckle that followed iced over the blood in his veins, his heart pounding a million times a minute.

'You had better get a handle on that fear of yours…Drives my instincts crazy…And who knows what we might do if you lose control…'

"W-we?" he managed to choke out just above a whisper, giving up on any semblance of denying the reality before him.

With a wild cackle, the form around the floating features began to materialize, pale skin looking bleached whiter than even Rukia's complexion taking shape. Unkempt spiky hair. Harsh facial features. A similarly bleached Shihakusho.

No…It couldn't be…

'I am you…' Ichigo stared right back at himself, a ghostly horrific copy stripped of all life and color aside from those evil eyes. 'We are one and the same…Born together, die together…'

He shut his eyes tight, hearing the hyena-like laughter growing in volume in his ears as he whipped his head back and forth.

"No…NO!"

His eyes snapped open, and the apparition was gone, vanished without a trace just as quickly as it had come.

Ichigo let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding, panting to himself in an effort to get his heartrate under control. He was almost startled by Rukia shifting in her sleep, groaning softly at being disturbed. Other than that soft sound of her voice and breathing, all was quiet once again.

There was no denying it. He had felt everything around him, had even heard his own voice clear as day as he'd argued with the hollow. That was no nightmare. This was his reality, his life, and he was quickly losing control of it. Without any doubt, he knew what he had to do now. He couldn't put it off any longer.

"I'm sorry, Rukia…"

Every ounce of will he had went into forcing himself to get up, being careful not to wake his lover. She certainly didn't make it easy. As light as she was, her sleeping body was bound and determined to stay nestled on his, almost refusing to let go of his warmth. Even if she wasn't conscious to know what was happening, if he didn't know any better, it was as if she instinctively knew that he was about to disappear. And it hurt all the more to see it.

As he tucked the sheets around her tightly, taking a moment to stare at her beautiful face marred by the slight discontented expression, he thought back on what had happened this evening. He'd had the overwhelming desire to show her just how much he loved her with all his heart, just how important she was to him. Yet again, a desire born from their love and not from their lust. Moments like those, he cherished. He wouldn't trade anything about their intimacy, but those times when they were consumed with only the need to be close to one another and let how much they cared show…they were the best. After what had happened that morning…it was almost like his decision was made before he knew it, and he needed tell her goodbye in the best way possible.

All he wanted to do as he dressed as quietly as he could was climb back in bed with her and hold her until his worries disappeared. Ichigo couldn't tell what hurt worse, the fact that he had to leave or what he could do to her if he stayed. Neither choice was ideal in his mind. Lord knew that if he were to wait and talk to her about this in the morning, he would get an earful. Hell, she would demand he stay and let her help him in gaining control, probably with the aid of, god forbid, Urahara, or at the very least, argue towards going with him. In the end, it wasn't worth the risk. Charging into danger with her by his side against the enemy, he could take. They could look out for each other, he could protect her if need be, if her tremendous skill and outstanding power on her own weren't enough. What he couldn't do, though, was keep her in the line of fire from something he couldn't protect her from: himself.

The orange-haired teen didn't pack anything as he finished dressing, only grabbing his combat pass. The Visoreds, being former Soul Reapers of some rank or another, would likely have the means to extract his soul form on their own, but better safe than sorry. Holding it in his hand, staring at it in the muted light of his room, though, he felt a sense of spiteful irony. His stamp of approval from the Sereitei, his badge as a Substitute Shinigami, resembled a hollow's mask. A short exhalation through his nose marked his humorless laugh as he stuffed the thing in his pocket. Funny how the universe worked sometimes.

His eyes, looking as lifeless as the blank expression on his face, turned to gaze at the beauty laying in his bed once more. Seconds ticked by. The teenager, a man by all accounts after everything he had been forced to endure in his life, memorized every line and curve of her face and form, even those hidden by the thin blanket. When something is so uncertain ahead of you, even the possibility of self-destruction, you have to hold onto and memorize everything that's precious to you. That's exactly what Ichigo tried to do. Everything about her, he wanted to remember as clearly as possible. Every feature of her face, every hair on her head, every plane on her body. Looking back, how could she for a second think that he could look elsewhere? There were taller girls, bustier girls, shapelier girls, sweeter girls…none of them were Rukia Kuchiki. She was perfect just the way she was, everything he needed and more. What he wouldn't give to see her violet eyes one last time…

Gently and softly as he could manage, he pressed his lips to her cheek, gently brushing her raven locks away from her face and tucking them more neatly behind her ear. Her face evened back out ever so slightly into the state of peaceful bliss she'd had previously. He had to drag himself away, laying a slip of paper on his desk facing her as he passed, her name written on it in as clean a scrawl as he could manage. With that, he left, eyes stinging as he tried his level best to remain the same strong and stoic Ichigo Kurosaki he'd always been.

The trek out of the house and into the streets had been, thankfully, uninterrupted. The Substitute wasn't in the mood to try and explain himself to his father if he were still up. Plus, the man seemed to have been ducking him lately whenever there was any opportunity that might have resulted with the two of them plus or minus Rukia to be secluded. Given what Ichigo now knew of his father, he supposed the crazy bastard was avoiding having the big discussion of where he truly came from and who he really was. If he were to have caught Isshin that night, not much would have stopped him from laying into the man to spill the whole story and give him a solid beating for not only hiding it for so long, but steering clear of it now. Regardless, now was not the time for it.

The golden orange of the sporadic streetlamps did nothing to alleviate the spook factor of the lonely quiet night. In Ichigo's mind, it only added to the eerie feeling surrounding him, strolling through the neighborhood with only his footsteps echoing in the dark. Fit right in with the haunting horror show he'd had to witness earlier.

"My life is a horror film now…great" he mused as he turned a corner, heading down his usual route towards the high school out of habit. "That would make Rukia the last girl standing while I'm about to be picked off by the slasher hiding in the shadows or the demonic spirit locked onto me…"

"Well, the description isn't too far off on most accounts" called a familiar nonchalant voice, the wide grin evident in the tone. "I'm handy with a sword, I'm a spirit hiding amongst the living, and most would label my abilities evil."

Ichigo didn't bother turning around as he stopped in his tracks, his hands remaining stuffed in his pockets. He knew who it was the moment they made themselves known, their spiritual pressure leaking out as soon as they gave away their position behind him. "I guess that makes two of us, Hirako…"

Said blonde leaned against the corner wall the boy had just walked around, as if he'd been there all along. "My, my, someone's pretty dour at the moment. Though, I guess I can understand why after what happened today."

Ichigo smirked without any mirth to it whatsoever. "Should've known you were watching. You weren't kidding about keeping an eye on me."

Shinji pushed off the cement barrier, taking a couple steps closer. "Not very smart to be walking around all alone in the dark, especially with those new friends skulking about."

Ichigo shrugged as he half-turned to glance at the other Visored. Instead of the school uniform he'd seen him in earlier, the man now sported a black shirt with white tie and matching white slacks and shoes. A long brown trench coat and newsboy hat completed the ensemble, making the boy wonder just what era Shinji and the others had shown up in Japan. "I figured if I wandered around long enough, you guys would find me."

"Fair enough. So I take it, with you out and about, Lady Kuchiki isn't too bad off after the fight?" Hirako asked, his ever-present grin widening slightly.

The teen turned to face him directly, expression becoming murderous. "Not one more word about her" he said in a low voice, his eyes flashing gold for just an instant, indicating his growing anger.

The former captain raised his hands in defense, though his posture remained casual as his voice came out almost as if admonishing a child. Well, doing it while bored, anyway. "Take it easy. As far as other Shinigami go, she's not bad. Not to mention, I know you care about her, so I figured I'd ask."

Letting out a sigh of irritation, Ichigo turned away slightly as he looked down at the ground. "Whatever…"

'He's really taking this hard if his usual fire is burning so low…' With that, Hirako mirrored Ichigo's earlier stance, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I suppose this means you've decided to join us?"

A moment of silence passed as the breeze picked up ever so slightly. "Let's make one thing clear…" When Ichigo's eyes met Shinji's once more, they were filled with burning determination. "I need to get control of my hollow, and you Visoreds, or whatever the hell you are, are the best way to do it. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't intend to join you on whatever mission you're all on, I just…I can't stand by and let this thing hurt anyone…especially her…"

The exile's smile turned knowing as his eyes became hidden behind his bangs. "Whatever you say, kid…"

The blaring of an alarm cut through the silence of the morning, the young woman occupying the room groaning in annoyance. She was a noble and, for all intents and purposes, military, used to rising early to greet the day. Still, she wasn't used to having a lover to sate her so fully that she would come to enjoy sleeping in. And she certainly wasn't used to infernal devices of the living world screaming at her to get up!

One dainty fist smashing into the button atop the alarm clock later, and silence reigned once again. Suppressing another groan, Rukia drew herself up and stretched her arms above her head, yawning around a small moan of pleasure at unwinding her muscles. Shivering slightly from her bare breasts being exposed to the air, she rubbed the sleep from her eye as she tried to orient herself.

"Ichigo…time to get up…" she mumbled.

Not a sound was heard in response, not that she was wholly surprised. Her boyfriend could be especially stubborn about his sleep as well, more so if sex had been involved the previous night. "Ichigo, hey…"

She reached out her hand to shake him…only to meet an empty mattress next to her. Bleary eyes widened a tad as she tried to focus and look around. He wasn't anywhere to be found. "Huh…Is he already up?"

Sitting for a moment, she couldn't help the sense of worry coming over her. He wasn't exactly an early riser. It could be he had had another nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep, but that wouldn't explain why he'd left the room. She could hear the subtle noise of Yuzu moving around downstairs, no doubt up earlier as usual to prepare breakfast for the family. Was he down with her?

Rain began to tap the window in a slow and steadily growing rhythm, the dark clouds from the precious night finally ready to unleash their payload. Almost like an omen, her violets landed on the slip of paper at that instant. Ichigo's hand was obvious, even if she could see the effort he put into it to make it as clean and clear as possible. Dread pooled in her stomach, her pulse hammering in her ears as she shakily reached out to grab it. She had to take a breath…two…three…Finally, she managed to bite the bullet and unfold it.

"Ichigo…what have you done…"

Rukia

I'm sorry that I have to do this, but it's the only way I can think of. I would have said something before, but we both know you would have tried to talk me out of it. That, or come with me.

I have to get this thing under control before I can be around you again. It would kill me if I lost control and ended up hurting you or worse. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone, but when I get back, I hope you can forgive me for doing this. I have to protect you no matter what it costs, even from myself.

I love you so much.

The rains began to pour as tears welled in her eyes. Even as she bit her lip, the soft flesh indenting painfully, it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest. A single tear escaped down her cheek, her breath releasing in a harsh sob.

"You…idiot…"

That's that. Reviews welcome, as always. Love to know how it's going.

A little bit more introduction to the Sinners and what they're after, not that you guys need it by now, I'm sure. Plus, Ichigo being forced to leave Rukia for now for what he sees as her own good. We all know he's in for it when he gets back to her. Plus, I don't know if you've noticed, but this was his first introduction to his 'real' Zanpakutō in this story. Not a dazzling one at that. I've been dropping subtle hints of how things may or may not progress between Ichigo and his hollow side. Let's just say it's not going to be simply fused with Tensa Zangetsu, forgotten for a while, then reintroduced and suddenly explained like in canon.

Next time: Introducing the rest of the Visoreds. Oh, and Rukia gets a little history lesson.