Chapter 41: Jacob's Spirit Walk

I woke up on my back when I felt movements inside my belly. My belly protruding and bulging with the movements of the babies. I felt my stomach rumbled, and I knew they were fussy because they were hungry. I felt a warm hand placing on my jiggling belly, and I turned to see Paul leaning on his other arm, looking at my belly in amazement.

I said groggily, "Hi carino, back from patrol?"

He said, "actually I came back four hours ago, but I have to go in few minutes to world sadly. I made breakfast for all of you. Jake is going to come by in two hours then after you guys are done, Seth is going to come by for awhile until I come in the evening."

I whispered with a hint of disappointment, "Oh..okay, thank you for making breakfast for me."

He smiled, "Sure thing hon. Need help getting dressed? I don't mind you walking around naked, but I don't want Jacob seeing you naked."He purred seductively, "Only I get to see you like this" with his eyes flashing silver.

I blushed, "Sure, but I ,uh, feel sticky from all the sweat. Can you help me rinse myself in the shower, but nothing too heated, kay?"

He smiled cheekily, "Sure."

He helped me get up from the bed, and when I stood up, I noticed that my pregnant belly grew. I look like I could be like 25-28 weeks along? I looked at Paul, "Hey..Did I grow bigger compare to how I usually grow each day. It seems a bit more faster?"

He nodded with a concern look on his face, "Yup.. When we see Sue tomorrow, we can ask her how far long you are now."

I nodded slowly, "Okay."

He helped me undress and get inside the shower. His warm, big, calloused warm hands massaging, exploring my whole body as he was standing behind me, purring and nuzzling me from the back. It was very hard to not get aroused as he was lathering my body with my body wash. He took his time with lathering my arms, breasts, my ass, legs and he was gentle when he got close to the pups. I felt the pups shifting inside me as they felt Paul's hand lathering my tummy. He would lay his head on my head, and I could feel from his emotions that he wanted to do more, but he was respecting my boundaries. I was about to say fuck it when Paul murmured, "I could hear my phone calling, I have to go now, hon."

I nodded as we got out of the shower, he dried us off as he helped me put my underwear, bra, his sweats, and his crew shirt on me. His shirt was stretched to cover my big pregnant belly, and it barely covered it. I realized probably tomorrow or in few days, the shirt would start rising up. When he saw that, I saw his eyes dilated with lust and arousal with his nose flaring and an obvious dent in his shorts, but he looked away and said, "Alright, hon. ..I..I need to go. Jacob is gonna come in a bit, then Seth and I be back for dinner. I have a surprise for you."

I said excitedly, "Oh yeah?"

He nodded, "Yep" as he kissed me goodbye in the cheek and I giggled in delight before heading off. I was excited what he was planning to do for dinner, but I felt the one of the pups kicking me at ribs, and I winced from that feeling. It wasn't painful, but it felt weird and it took me by the surprise

Yikes. I went to the kitchen and saw that Paul had everything all laid out for me in the table. I ate the breakfast that he made for me joyfully, leaving nothing behind. I was so dehydrated that I drank few liters of bottle in one go, and I finally felt satisfied. I was finishing with washing the dishes when I heard a knock at the front door. I wiped myself, and I went toward the front door. It was Jacob, standing there with his signature sunny smile. It was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile back at him. I said, "Morning, Jake!"

He greeted with his smile, "Hey, Ale! Can I come in?"

I said, "of course!" as he stepped inside.

I asked, "Do you want something to drink?"

His eyes lit up and said, "Oh! Can I have some of the Mexican Coca-Cola? Paul said it was better than the one from the cans."

I winked, "you betcha it taste better. It's at the second fridge. Do you want something to eat? I can make you an instant Korean black bean noodle."

He said, "Okay, I grab it myself, and uhm, I would like to try it, but you don't have to make it for me. Just tell me how to do it, and you could rest at the reclining chair."

I chuckled, "I am pregnant not disabled. I could stand for at least 15 minutes to make it, Jake. Don't worry."

He said, "oh, alright. The moment you start feeling something, tell me, kay?"

I said, "sure, sure."

He went to the next room to grab the Mexican Coca-Cola, and I went to pull out a hotpot. I dumped five bags of Jjajangmyeon on the hotpot. As I let the noodle boil and warming up the sauce in a bowl of warm water, I went to cut some green onion.

Jacob went behind me, oohing of what I was making and asked curiously, "so, you make noodles in this hotpot? It looks like a rice cooker."

I replied, "yeah you could make rice in the hotpot. It has many uses, but I am not too familiar with it, so I don't know. Haha"

He nodded, and I shooed him to sit at the table. Once it was done, I put some green onion on top of it to make it look aesthetic despite being instant food lol. He didn't mind it at all and gulped it all up. He was very pleased with the food, and he drank three bottles of the Mexican Coca-Cola that it makes me happy to see I was able to get another person to like it. Hehe.

I just sat by the table with him, and once he was finished, he went and washed the dishes. I went to sit down on the couch while I wait for Jacob to get back. I lifted my legs up to the living room's small table because my ankles started to get swollen. Jacob being his usual sweet self, he massaged them for me as he sat down next to me.

I asked, "How has it been being back in the Rez and being Alpha?"

He replied, " It's..different. It didn't feel like I was gone for a month. It felt like I was gone for months. Time in the spirit world is different. Some time, it feels like the days in the physical world went by so quick, and at times, it feels like the days went back so slowly."

I nodded, and said assuredly, "the rules that you set up were great. Jacob. It was more than I expected, and I was amazed that you were able to do so much in a small amount of time. Knowing the elders, you were faced a lot of resistance, didn't you?"

He snorted, "You bet they did. We argued for hours until Old Quil and my dad was able to finally convince the others to follow my direction. Dad was hesitant to try new things out, but I appreciated that he was trying to trust me and let me handle things. I think when you first met him and you basically yelled at him for how layback that he was handling with me, it got him to step up and support me more in my decisions now. I realized the time away from the reservation not only helped me to heal and get ready to be Alpha, but it also helped my dad to think things through and change bit by bit."

I was so happy to hear that from Jake. I said, "You did good, Jake. I'm really happy for you, and..I could see that you aren't carrying this burden on top of you anymore…what happened in your spirit walk if you don't mind me asking?"

He sighed, "a lot happened."

I said encouragingly, "I got time, so he said, "When I first entered the spirit world, I was first introduced to my wolf spirit. He was enraged and furious with me. Like a stubborn fool, I thought the first task for me was to claim dominance with my wolf spirit if I want to be Alpha, so I wrestled with my wolf spirit. We didn't talk so we kept on fighting. It took much longer than expected, and I started to notice the waves of sadness coming off from my wolf spirit. That confused me, so I realized that my wolf spirit didn't came to fight. when I finally surrendered and let him bite me, that is when my wolf spirit finally spoke. He was waiting for me to accept him as a partner before proceeding to become Alpha. He was tired of fighting with me, so we talked, and we made peace with one another. (A/N: this was an inspiration from the anime/manga Bleach. You'll know what I am referring to. Lol)

Jacob slowed down in his storytelling, and said, "When I checked back on the physical world, it had already been three weeks. If I hadn't realized in time, then I would've starved my body and die. I had to go hunt and replenish my body, and that is when I realized I missed Bella's wedding…. But… I was glad I wasn't thinking about her when I was wrestling with my wolf spirit, and I don't regret not showing up to her wedding. We already said our goodbyes in the mountains, so if I had gone to see her again, it would've been harder for me to move on from her."

He sighed and continues "After I made peace with my wolf spirit, I met the indigenous man. He told me in order to accept the alpha status, I need to accept my past, and if I want, I can talk to my ancestors for advice and support before deciding whether I really want to be alpha. I didn't realize how much hurt and suffering that I was carrying all this time. I am typically the person who sees the good in the bad and make the best of the worst, but I realized that is not the same thing as moving on from it. You could be the happiest person, but once you touch the sore topic of the past, you would immediately go back to that time…That is what I learned from the spirits…The first thing I went to deal with is the death of my mom…I sadly, don't have many memories of her, but the spirits showed me the memories of her that I do have of her that I had forgotten..…it really brought light to me because I felt guilty that I couldn't remember her to keep her memory alive in the family after she died. I also felt guilty that I didn't share the grief like my two older sisters and my father had of her. …I honestly felt guilty that I handled her death better than the rest of my family..Then, I was able to talk to her, I cried for a long time when I was able to hug her and see her again. She told me how proud she was of me and how much she loves me despite of everything that has happened since I phased….all this time, I felt like a failure because I wasn't what my dad and the council needed to be… I was afraid and overwhelmed with all the expectations …I didn't realize I needed that reassurance and encouragement from my mom to move on…"

Jacob wept, and I put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He continued, "I didn't realize I was carrying resentment toward my dad when he got sick with his diabetes. That is the second thing that the spirit showed me through my memories and helped me realize about myself. When he got sick, I had to grow up and be like the man in the house. I would go off hunting, doing small jobs around the house to help the house maintained so that social workers won't take us away from my dad due to his illness. If it wasn't for Charlie and the Rez protecting us, we would've been taken by the state. I had to learn to take care of my dad and being attentive to his medications while Rebecca had to learn to cook and clean for all of us.. It took dad a very long time to overcome his grief toward my mom, and I didn't realize that I was harboring resentment toward that because he was busy in his grief, he neglected me and my two sisters. It was only until Rebecca and Rachel left the Rez that my dad finally realized that it was his fault that they ran away from home…Then when I first phased and my dad didn't warn me about it, I was so angry with dad for not warning me when he was the chief! It was like a dam broke inside of me and I was full of rage and anger. It scared me when I started feeling hatred toward my dad, but I didn't know where all of this anger was coming from until when the spirits showed me the memories. Because I didn't deal with how my dad stopped acting like a dad after mom died up until Rachel and Rebecca left the house, that is why the anger felt endless when I first phased and he didn't act like a dad during that time too.

..the spirits showed me memories of the times that my dad was like my dad.. I had forgotten the times where he would tell me the stories of Taha Aki and the spirit warriors. He would tuck me to my bed, sing songs of our past with my mom by my side, kissing my cheek. I saw through my memories of the joy and excitement that I came from a proud ancestry as a child, and I actually wanted to be a wolf just like Taha Aki.. I was reminded of those field trips to the woods where I was a leader, showing others how to set up tents and to survive in the woods. When I saw those memories, I realized that being alpha was in me all this time. I was already shown the potential even when I was little. With everything that has happened in my life, I had forgotten that desire and lost sight of who I am, who I was always have been…The spirits also showed me memories of my dad praying to Mom, to watch over me when I first phased. I saw the memories of the times that when I was little, he would go hungry so that I could eat more of what I had hunted, and he would sell his possessions passed down from his fathers to help me buy the clothes that I needed to go to school…so Mom was there to comfort me and showed me that even though dad made a lot of mistakes, but in his way, he tried to be my dad. It doesn't justify his actions, but I was able to understand him more. ..eventually I was able to make peace with my dad, forgive him for my sake and make peace with becoming a spirit warrior."

He paused to take a break from speaking before finishing off, "after I made peace with my wolf spirit and my past, the spirits showed me the original timeline, the conversation that they had with you, the world that you came from, and the future that would occur with and without the Cullens. Then, they asked me if I still want to be Alpha fully knowing everything, so I accepted it. Once I accepted it, I got educated on with the traditions, customs of our tribe. I was getting trained to be Alpha until I was told that I had to return the physical world because Sam was on his way to destroy the Cullens. With the blessing of the spirits as the rightful Alpha, I ran back to Forks. It took time to get used to my new body because when I accepted Alpha, my body transformed as well. So, you knew what happened after that point, but because I took a long time realizing that I didn't need to fight with my wolf spirit but accept it, it was partially my fault for not coming sooner to the Rez. .so yeah.."

I was shook. I didn't think that the spirits would go in that detail to help heal Jacob. Then again, Jacob went through so much, and I remembered that Meyers mentioned all the trauma and tragedy that Jacob went through, but it wasn't fully flourished. The most we got about it was back in New Moon before Jacob first phased, but after that, it felt like it was pushed to the side.

Trying to break the heavy silence, Jacob gave a small cocky smile and said, "I saw that you used to have a crush on me when you were in middle school, and you were all about 'Team Jacob'."

I gasped as I face palmed myself, "You saw that? Omigosh, that's so embarrassing. I really didn't know any better, and now when I look back to that time, I can't help but cringe at my younger self. Noo. Don't tell the others, especially not Paul."

He laughed whole-heartedly, "I promise, I won't. It made sense of why you helped me so much, because you liked me, you understood me on levels that people here didn't understood me. You're little crush on me and love for the wolfpack, helped us in many ways you think, Ale."

I said simply, "I guess I did. I don't think I would've pushed so hard to help y'all out if I wasn't immersed in this world when I was younger."

He asked with a wolf-like tilt to his head, "How come you didn't like Paul when you were younger?"

I answered, "Well, I was seeing things from Bella's perspective back when I was first introduced to Twilight, so I couldn't help but be biased when I was younger. In Bella's point of view, he didn't really like her, so I thought he was a cocky misogynistic ass, but as I got older, I grew to like him more and more. I was sad that in my world, we didn't get to see him much only for few moments here and there in the books and in the movies, so I could've been judging him a bit too harshly."

He nodded, and he looked at the time, so he said, "alright, it's time to get down to business. Do you want to call Carlisle through your phone?"

I said, "You sure? You don't want to discuss what we are going to talk about with them first?"

He thought about it and said, "hmm. I don't think its necessary. We would talk about them what they are going to do after Bella finishes her transformation, and the future of the world. I am pretty certain you already have things you want to tell them to help them plan for the future. I was given information that you don't know of, and you have information that I don't know of, so we will be okay."

I agreed, "Okay, I go make a call."

I put the phone on speaker and placed it between Jacob and I as we wait for Carlisle to pick up the call.

Author's Note:

I wasn't expecting to write the chapter about how Jacob's spirit walk went, but I couldn't help that it would make more sense to talk about it in this chapter than later on.

We will have a discussion with Cullens and their plan on handling the future!

I will try to send that chapter latest by tomorrow night. Then the next chapter after that, it will be coming out on Sunday evening. I have a lot of things going on this weekend, so I wont be posting chapter 43 until Sunday.

Hope you liked this chapter!

As always, reviews are very much appreciated.